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Marriage is about the
blending together of two souls.

It is about building a family and instilling in them proper Jewish and communal values.

It is the institution through which two individuals perfect themselves in the pursuit of harmony and sanctity.

All of these principles were on display in the marriage of Ruth and Abraham
(Al) Anteby.

Married for almost 72 years, Ruth and Al epitomized for all who knew them the heights to which a couple could reach and sustain in their love and devotion to one another.

Whether you encountered them at Slices Pizza, Dunkin’ Donuts, the Sephardic Center, at a farach, or walking down the street together, they were always holding hands like newlyweds.

Totally dedicated to the welfare of each other, they endured the lean years of World War II, the tumultuous years of raising five children, the silver years of semi-retirement and the golden years of old age.

Foreveractive, Al passed away at the age of 94, on March 7thof this year. After spending the 8th day of Hanukah blessing each of his grandchildren and great-grandchildren, he entered the ICU the following day, never to recover from four merciless bacterial infections. By his side, every day of the week, for six hours or more, was Ruth, cajoling, singing and coaxing him, although he lay unresponsive in a coma for more than eight weeks.

At the levaya, Ruth and Al’s eldest son, Sam, explained the secret of their marital success. As summarized by Ruth, he said, marriage is based upon the Three C’s. They are Caring, Consideration and Compromise.

Caring means wanting your spouse’s happiness with all of your being and working towards that goal for his benefit.

Consideration means being content with not always coming first. This is because one’s spouse’s feelings about an issue or incident are always taken into account and may sometimes prevail.

Compromise entails that if one half of the couple says black and the other says white, the answer isn’t always gray, because then neither wins.

Ruth and Al taught us that you can Care about another person and Consider their feelings without Compromising yourself. The final outcome – a deep and everlasting contentment – will be satisfying to both parties.

The community will sorely miss Al Anteby. We’ll always remember his call to arms each Yom Kippur as he towered over the kahal with “Eshme’ah mah yedaber H’Kel Ado…”His broad smile, quick sense of humor, integrity and dignity, made up only one half of our community’s paradigm of marriage.

We pray that his memory be blessed and that his devoted wife, Ruth, be granted health and long life. Together with Al, she taught us that a happy, long-lasting marriage can also be ours.