THE COMPLETED EXPANSION OF Ohel Yaacob Congregation, LAWRENCE AVENUE SYNAGOGUE

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Dear Jido,

My mother gives a lot of attention to my sister’s kids –
but she hardly pays any attention whatsoever to my children. The difference is obvious to everyone in the family, even my own kids. My sister’s children get better presents and trips away, while my kids only receive a phone call every now and then. It really bothers me that my mother slights my kids. We live in the same town and whenever I confront her about it she just denies it and says I’m imagining things. What can I do?

Signed,

Slightly Slighted

Dear Slighted,

Your question is very similar to another one that was recently asked of me. A young man told me (while not knowing that I was Jido!) that every time he visits his in-laws, they belittle his new bride. What should he do?

Every time he sees them, I told him, praise her, praise her, and praise her! Tell them what a great cook she is, how beautiful she is, how you can’t wait to come home to her every night. Sing her praises!

My answer to you is the same. When you visit your mom with your kids, tell her how great they did in school, the funny story they told you, how they help their friends without asking for anything in return. Do this with each one of your children – not to make your nieces and nephews feel jealous, but to let your mother know what great kids yours are.

Of course your children ARE great. But praise them to the sky. Assuming there are no overriding reasons why she has behaved this way, little by little, your mom will soften and see them in a new light.

Jido