LEADING WITH love and wisdom

Past Articles:
THE LIGHTER SIDE





Daring Dude

A billionaire decides to throw a massive party for his 50th birthday, so during this party he grabs the microphone and he announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with two great white sharks in it. “I will give anything they desire of mine to the man who swims across that pool.” So, the party continues with no events in the pool, until suddenly, there is a great splash and all the guests of the party run to the pool to see what has happened. In the pool is a man and he is swimming as hard as he can, and the fins come out of the water, and the jaws are snapping, and this guy just keeps on going, and the sharks are gaining on him, and this guy reaches the end and he gets out of the pool, tired and soaked. The billionaire grabs the microphone and says, “I am a man of my word, anything of mine I will give, my Ferraris, my house, absolutely anything, for you are the bravest man I have ever seen. So, sir what will it be?” the billionaire asks. The guy grabs the microphone and says, “Why don't we start with the name of the wisenheimer that pushed me in!”

Charlie T.

Low Bridge

Moishe the truck driver was traveling down the freeway. A sign came
up that read, "Low bridge ahead." Before he knew it, the bridge was directly ahead of him and then he got stuck under it. Cars were backed up for miles.

Finally, a police car arrived. The cop got out of his car and walked around to Moishe the truck driver, put his hands on his hips, and said,
"Got stuck, huh?"

Moishe replied, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

Karen D.

Safe And Sound

A stats professor plans to travel to a conference by plane.
When he passes the security check, they discover a bomb in his
carry-on-baggage. Of course, he is hauled off immediately for interrogation. "I don't understand it!" the interrogating officer exclaims. "You're an accomplished professional, a caring family man, a pillar of your community – and now you want to destroy all that by blowing up an airplane!" "Sorry," the professor interrupts him. "I had never intended to blow up the plane." "So, why else did you try to bring a bomb on board?!" "Let me explain. Statistics shows that the probability of a bomb being on an airplane is 1/1,000. That's quite high if you think aboutit – so high that I wouldn't have any peace of mind on a flight." "And what does this have to do with you bringing a bomb on board of a plane?" "You see, since the probability of one bomb being on my plane is 1/1,000, the chance that there are two bombs is 1/1,000,000.
If I already bring one, the chance of another bomb being around is actually 1/1,000.000, and I am much safer..."

Martin B.

Open Sesame

The Goldbergs were on their way to the hospital where 16-year-old Rivkah was scheduled to undergo a tonsillectomy. During the ride they talked about how the procedure would be performed.

"Abba," Rivkah asked, "how are they going to keep my mouth open during the surgery?"

Without hesitation her father replied,
"They're going to give you a phone."

Susan M.

Uber Ride

An Uber passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question.

The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped inches from a shop window.

For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look man, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!"

The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much."

The driver replied, "Sorry, it’s not really your fault. Today is my first day as an Uber driver – I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."

Ralph H.

Kosher Salad

The Shapiro’s were sitting at the Shabbat table for Friday night dinner.

"Are worms kosher?” little Max asked his mother.

"No, they aren’t,” answered his mother.
“Why do you ask?"

"Well,” said Max, “there was a big one in your salad, but don’t worry, it's gone now."

Rochelle G.

Talking Dog For Sale

Itzik is walking in Tel Aviv when he sees a sign in an apartment window that reads: "Talking Dog For Sale."

Itzik rings the bell, the owner opens the door, and sitting on the couch is a Labrador retriever.

"You talk?" Itzik asks.

"Yep," the lab replies. “You can call me Nudnik.”

"So, what's your story, Nudnik?"

The lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the State of Israel, so I told the Mossad about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running.

"But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger, so I wanted to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in.
I uncovered a lot of stuff and was awarded a batch of medals.
I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

Itzik is amazed. He asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

"Fifty shekels?!" Itzik exclaims. "This dog is amazing.
Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's a liar. He didn't do any of that stuff!"

Mordy L.

Spell Check

Mrs. Shulman’s third-grade class was completing a unit on animals when little Rosie asked, “Excuse me teacher, how to we spell ‘piranha.’”

“Well I’m not sure,” Mrs. Shulman said. “Why don’t you look it up in the dictionary?” Sure enough, Rosie walked over to the dictionary to solve this problem.

Just then, little Shmueli piped up and said, "Why bother to look it up? She doesn't know how to spell it anyway."

The Shmulster

Fair Transaction

Little Johnny is at the toy store looking for a new toy to buy.
He finally finds a toy car he really likes and goes up to the cashier to pay for it. He offers Monopoly money. The cashier says to Little Johnny, "Are you kidding? This money is not real!”
Little Johnny responds, “Well, neither is the car!”

Bertha Diamond