What Are You Going To Do, If You Don’t Know What To Do?

Past Articles:

SZ Connect

I read with great interest last month’s cover story about the new community shidduch program (SZ Connect: Taking Matchmaking to The Next Level). I wish it much success as this is something that our community has needed for quite some time. However, the truth is – the reason behind our current shidduch crisis is not because of the previous shidduch systems or programs. 

Unfortunately, many single men and women are so ingrained that shidduchim are min hashamayim and assume that they do not need to take responsibility for their own lives. It is true that Hashem runs the world, no doubt, but He runs it according to nature. Rare is the open miracle. He expects us to do our best and not rely on the miracle. So, yes – we do have a shidduch crisis – but for the most part it is from our own doing (or lack of doing).

Heaven already decreed the shidduch – but you need have both eyes open, and understand that the process needs work (and marriage will need a lot more work). We tend to judge potential mates by their looks, money, social standing, and selfish thoughts (is s/he good for me?).
People should choose a partner by one thing, will s/he be a good parent, because that’s the bottom line. The very first mitzva is pru u’revu. All other mitzvot are Heaven-sent gifts as instructions, on how to follow through on the first one. If s/he will be a good parent, then responsibility, good middot, spirituality, and being a great spouse will be there too.

Alice D.

Feeling Guilty

Dear Jido, I agree that "Feeling Guilty" should pay for the items he stole when he was "much younger." I'd like to add two issues to consider.  First, was the current owner of the store the victim, or does the store have a new owner? If that's the case, forget about the store and find the victim to make restitution.  Also, $500 from years ago is worth much more now. If he pays only $500, he's not replacing the full amount. According to my research on Google, $500 in the year 2000 is worth $738 now. I admire this person for wanting to do the right thing, and I wish him the very best of luck.  

Shoshana D.

A Special Request

As Jews from New York prepare for the annual migration upstate for the summer, please remember (especially younger bacharim), we are REPRESENTING HASHEM 24/7 and EVERYONE is watching. The towns and villages are now subject to vastly increased vehicular traffic (and these folks' work commute schedules are disrupted), more crowded stores (increased business - appreciated; rudeness and impatience - not acceptable), and pedestrians everywhere (please use walkways and road shoulders - wear reflective strips/vests if at night - safety first).

As a prison inmate, your behavior affects how we are treated; if our community displays respect to “locals,” the prison staff treats us fairly – but if trash is strewn about outside stores, we face angry staff members looking to take it out on us. Please, let's show non-Jewish folk the “best” we have in us, and let's truly be honorable and kind role models and representatives of the King of Kings.

As we await Mashiah, have a safe, healthy, and joyous summer going from 'strength to

Chaim G.

Woodbourne Correctional Facility

“No Phone Challenge”

Thanks for a wonderful magazine, for your consistently on-target articles, and updates!   I was especially intrigued by Helen Gindi's recount of her "cell phone layoff" (Are You Ready to Take the “No Phone Challenge”) with her son's friends. Beautifully written!

G. Margareten