SUMMER 2019 The Summer of Torah, Hesed, and Charity

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Dear Jido,

I have a boss that I just cannot stand! He was recently made my boss and we just do not get along. I have been with the company much longer than he has, but he acts like he knows everything! He is always giving me more work than I can handle and even complains to other workers about me. I can’t go to HIS boss because they seem like best buddies. I would quit, but I am just a few months away from getting an excellent raise and some new benefits that I have been promised. If I left, I would have to start all over at a new job with much less pay. What should I do?

Help Wanted

Dear Wanted,

Don’t run for the hills just yet. I will give you the same advice that I generally give to others in this column. To paraphrase what Gd told Moses at the Red Sea – “Why are you calling out to me? Speak to your boss and move on!” It’s not easy, but you already know your other options. Try this:

“Hey, Bill, can I talk to you a minute?”

“Why, what’s up?”

Close the door. Tell him: “Three things: Number one – I want you to know that I love my job here. Number two – I hope to be here for many years. Number three – it seems that we don’t get along. What can I do to make it better?”

He can react in one of three ways:

1. He can say he doesn’t want to discuss it with you. In which case you have no choice but to go over his head, OR

2. He can think to himself – great, this is my chance, and then tell you, “I need you to finish the jobs I give you. I don’t care if it takes you until 10 o’clock at night plus weekends. When I tell yousomething, I want you to jump!” If he is unreasonable, calmly counter with – “Is it okay if we discuss this together with the (big) boss?” OR

3. Hopefully, he will say, “What a mature approach. These are the things that bother me.” If he gives you some practical advice, discuss it with him. He may tell you something you never realized about yourself or about the job.

In the end, you both have to do what is in the best interest of the company. Maintaining a boss/worker relationship that is hostile is both unproductive and costly. You may have a sleepless night the night before to get up the nerve to speak with him, but then just imagine what it will be like putting your head on the pillow each night thereafter knowing you have a great job to go to in the morning.

Keep me posted,