A Historical Look at LIFE in ALEPPO

Past Articles:
THE LIGHTER SIDE





Just Curious

Mrs. Simon was teaching her fourth grade class at Talmud Torah Academy about the importance of curiosity.

“Where would we be today if no one had ever been curious?ˮMrs. Simon asked.

Little Rivkie called out from the back of the class, “In the Garden of Eden?ˮ

Sarah M.

A Driving Experience

Ralph had just received his driver’s license, and to celebrate the whole family trooped out to the driveway and climbed into the car for his first real drive. Dad immediately headed to the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver.

“I’ll bet you decided to sit back there, so you can get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat, teaching me how to drive,” the beaming boy said to his dad.

“Well I have been looking forward to this day,” came Dad’s reply, “but it’s not for a change
of scenery.”

“So, what is it?” Ralph asked.

“It’s soIcan finally get a chance to kick the back of your seat while you drive!”

Sam L.

Running on Empty

As he pulled into the gas station, Chaim noticed a woman trying to push her car toward the pump. Interested in accruing more mitzvot as he approached Rosh Hashanah, the Day of Judgment, Chaim parked and joined her in pushing her car.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“I'm giving youa hand,” Chaim said. “What are you doing?”

“I'm stretching before my run.”

Marlene F.

The Moth Myth

“I’ll take six packets of mothballs, please,”
said an old lady to the sales clerk, early one Tuesday morning.

“But I sold you six packets yesterday,” theclerk replied. “That should really be enough for
most households.”

“I know,” she said, “but my aim is not very good, and I keep missing them.”

Joel L.

On the Road Again

Pamela was driving briskly on a winding, narrow country road when her husband, Morris, who was sitting in the passenger seat, said, “Every time you zip around one of those sharp bends I get very frightened that we might fall off the side of
the highway!”

“I know how you feel,” Pamela said sympathetically, “and if it bothers you that much,then the next time we come to a sharp turn, you should do
what I do.”

“What’s that?” Morris asked.

“Close your eyes.”

Yaakov R.

A French Dream

Alfred was having a lot of difficulty in French class. To encourage him, his teacher said, “You’ll know you’re really beginning to get it when you start dreaming in French.”

About a month later, Alfred came running into class excitedly. “Teacher, teacher! I had a dream last night and everyone was talking
in French!”

“Great!” the teacher exclaimed. “What were they saying?”

“I don't know,” Alfred replied.
“I couldn't understand them!”

Simon B.

Charlie’s Checkup

Charlie:So, what do
you think is wrong with me, Doc?

Doctor:It’s strange, really.
I can’t seem to identify
the exact ailment. I think
it may be the result of heavy drinking.

Charlie:That’s alright, Doc. I can just come back when you’re sober.

Yossi K.

I’m Not Home

My husband is wonderful with our baby daughter, but often turns to me for advice. Recently, I was resting in the bedroom when he poked his head in to ask, “What should I feed Lily for lunch?”

“That’s up to you,” I replied. “There’s lots of food in the refrigerator. Why don’t you pretend I’m
not home?”

A few minutes later, my cell phone rang.
I answered it to hear my husband saying, “Yeah, hi, honey. Uh… what should I feed Lily for lunch?”

Ezra S.

A Rewarding Find

Selling at an auction was halted when a man came to the auctioneer and whispered a few words to him. A moment later, the auctioneer announced, “This gentleman just informed me that he lost his wallet containing $2,000. Has anyone found it?”

After a moment of silence, the man who lost his wallet whispered something else to the auctioneer.

The auctioneer then announced, “The gentleman is now offering a reward of $500 for the wallet’s immediate return, so please don’t hesitate to speak up.”

After a short pause, there was a call from the back of the room, “$550.”

Shimmy

Breaking into Retail

The manager of a retail clothing store is reviewing a potential employee’s application and notices that the man has never worked in retail before. He says to the man, “For a man with no experience, you are certainly asking for a high salary.”

“Well, sir,” the applicant replies, “the work is so much harder when you don’t know what you’re doing!”

Isaac D.

Looney Tuner

The doorbell of the Johnson house rang. The lady of the house opened the door, and discovered a workman equipped with
a tool chest standing there.

“Hello,” he said. “I’m the piano tuner. I was called to fix
your piano.”

“Why, I didn’t send for a piano tuner,” Mrs. Johnson said.

“I know,” the man replied, “your neighbors did.”

S.B.

Making the Grade

Teacher: “Billy, why didn’t you bring back your signed report card?”

Billy: “Well, I lost it. You see I was at the beach and I put it down on the sand, but then the tide came in and washed it away. But don’t worry, I told my parents all my grades already.”

Teacher: “Did you really?”

Billy: “Yes. I told them the story about how the tide came in and mentioned that the whole report card was below sea level.”

 Marc G.

Flying High

Esther Sherman was on an El Al flight to Israel to visit her kids and grandkids. During the flight she kept peering out the window. Since it was totally dark, all she could see was the blinking wing-tip light. Finally, Esther rang for the flight attendant.

“I'm sorry to bother you,ˮEsther said,ˮbut I think you should inform the pilot that his left-turn indicator is on and has been for some time.

Joyce K.

The Good ‘Ole Days

A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like.  “We used to skate outside on a pond.   I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard.  We rode our pony.  We picked wild raspberries in the woods.”

The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in.  At last she said, “I sure wish I’d gotten to know you sooner!”

Eddie G.