Dear Jido,

My boss has taken to drinking behind his closed office door. He begins as soon as he gets to work and continues throughout the day. His work output has decreased and I don’t have much to do. He is pretty incoherent by three, and I cover for him.
I leave at five and I have no idea what happens when he gets home – he is married and has a few children. This has been going on for six months. I don’t know whether I should talk to his wife, his managing partner, or just to him?
I really don’t want to go back to the Administrative Pool either. Please advise…

Signed, A Concerned Employee

Dear Concerned,

Alcoholism has become a growing problem in our community – not only for men, but also for women and teenage boys and girls. When some people hear the word “alcoholic,” they think of your typical drunk lying in the street. Not always. There is a phenomenon called a “high functioning alcoholic.” These people often seem to have everything going for them. They drink too much, but they excel at work and have good relationships with family and friends. Their success often works against them, making them think they have their drinking under control based upon the perceived normalcy around them. Eventually, whether it takes months or years, alcoholism catches up with them. Unfortunately, your boss seems to fit the profile.

The fact that he is your boss, not your husband, brother, or friend, can make it hard to approach him about having a “problem” with alcohol. But, as you realize, it is impossible to continue drinking heavily for a long period of time without suffering the physical and emotional consequences that eventually result.

You might actually be doing him a disservice by “covering up” for him. By doing so, you are inadvertently encouraging and enabling him to continue drinking, by helping him to avoid its negative consequences. Therefore, you should first discuss with him how concerned you are for his welfare. When he tells you it is none of your business, insist that it is. Do some homework and read to him the effects it can have on his heart, his liver, his family, and his job. When he insists that he knows but there is nothing he CAN do about it, then refer him to SBH, AA, the National Center for Disease Control, or his rabbi.

If he says there is nothing he WANTS to do about it, then, in my humble opinion, you have the obligation to save his life and speak to his boss, his wife, or his rabbi.

If he demotes you back to the Administrative Pool, well then, that is a small price to pay for saving a life.

Don’t give up – you are doing the right thing.


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Dear Jido

Last month, I won the lottery, (not the grand prize; something in the six-figure range). The trouble is, I don’t want to tell my friends. I am 22 and single. I’m worried that if my friends find out that I have all this money they will start to treat me like an ATM machine. Still, I feel bad about not being completely open with them. Am I wrong for keeping this a secret?

Sincerely, Lottery Winner

Dear Lottery Winner,

Welcome to the ranks of the Rich and Frustrated. You are not the only lottery winner who has either been pursued or ruined by friends turned schnorrers(spongers). There are numerous stories of winners who have been bombarded by requests for monetary handouts and soon-forgotten loans. These people have either lost their fortunes or their friends as a result.


You ask if you should tell your friends that you won big. I say yes! Let them share in your joy. Why do we invite hundreds of people to our weddings and bar mitzvahs? Why do we vacation in the same places as friends and relatives? Because true joy should be shared with others.

You do have every justifiable reason to be cautious, though. Myadvice would be to allocate a portion of your winnings as “giveaway” money. It could be any amount that you feel is reasonable (after all, it is your money). Be realistic, but practical. Put the money meant for loans into an account and consider it spent.Don’t forget to allocate a portion to charity (10% as the Torah recommends) and invest the balance in a solid portfolio for your future family. Once your allocated funds are distributed, you have the right to decline further requests with a simple “I would love to help, but….”.

Our Sages tell us – ha’moseef yoseefu lo– the more one helps, the more Hashem will help him. That said, use your best judgment in helping your fellow man.

Good luck and congratulations!

Dear Jido

A close family friend is a huge Donald Trump supporter. He tries to convince everyone he meets that Trump is the answer to all our country’s problems and he has even started to volunteer for the Trump campaign. While I don’t like to get into politics with friends, how should one go about broaching such a sensitive subject?

Sincerely, Staying Out of Politics

Dear Staying Out of Politics,

Gd Bless America! Land of the Free and Home of the Mezhnoons. In my humble opinion, never before in modern history have the many produced so few capable candidates. That is not to say that they don’t each have their good points, but it seems clear to the informed electorate that their downsides significantly outweigh their upsides.

Shelomo Hamelech tells us that “The heart of the King is in the hands of Hashem”. We have no idea what the future will bring with any of the three top contenders. All more or less embrace values antithetical to the Jewish people, all equivocate on their support of Israel and each one will change the economic health of America in ways that will negatively affect its Jewish population. It is quite clear that the Yad of Hashemis controlling the future destiny of America and, as always, the rest of the world. The fact that we are confronted with a choice between a capitalist, a socialist, and a communist is unprecedented in American politics.

My advice is to let your friend prattle on campaigning for the candidate of his choice. It doesn’t matter, really – because in the end our next President will be the one Hashem wants for America, Israel, and the Jews.


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