Woman to Woman

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One on One with

Shelly Shammah Salem

Why special education?  I minored in education and took an assessment that pointed me towards special education.  I thrive when I help identify children’s strengths.  Some children need time to grown into themselves and foster their strong points.  –   Shelly Salem

Please meet Rachelle (Shelly) Shammah Salem, a compassionate, wise, and poised woman, who as a bilingual special education instructor (English and Spanish) and child therapist, and has helped many students to find their unique spark.

Shelly is particularly articulate and it is clear that she has a special enthusiasm for teaching children.

Growing Up

Shelly was born in the Bay Parkway section of Brooklyn, to Vicky and Joseph Matalon.  Her father came to the America from Aleppo, Syria, as a teenager and her Sephardic mom emigrated from Haiti at age three.  Joseph worked at Prudential, and was one of the first insurance brokers in the Syrian community.  He loved reading the Zohar and going to synagogue.

When Shelly was six, her family moved to Ocean Parkway.  One of six children, Shelly had two older brothers, Marvin and Lee, an older sister Joanie, and two younger brothers David and Jackie.  Unfortunately, her brother Marvin passed away. Shelly remains close with her other siblings.

Shelly was a quiet child, and was very well-liked by her classmates.

An excellent student, she sat in the first seat of the first row of PS 215 on Avenue S.  Shelly skipped a year in junior high (Boody) by achieving “SP” and graduated from Abraham Lincoln High School at sixteen.

Post High School

Shelly then attended a two-year fashion merchandising and communication program at FIT. Shelly finished the two-year degree when she was eighteen.  At the time, FIT did not have a four-year college curriculum. 

Shelly majored in English and had a minor in education.  After college graduation, she worked as a copywriter for CBS.

Shelly’s parents were her greatest role models. “I got my spiritual side from my dad, and my love of learning from my mom.” Shelly is high-energy, exercises regularly, and loves entertaining and being with people.

Her passions define her and who she is at her core.  Her fervor in supporting challenged children became her life purpose and proudest accomplishment, second to raising three fabulous children.

And Then Came Marriage…

Shelly was introduced to her first husband, Albert Shammah, a”h, at a friend’s home.  Albert was an Israeli citizen and had been a paratrooper in 1956 during the Suez War. He earned a special citation from Moshe Dayan for his service. 

Albert started out selling silk ties for his wealthy extended family in Milan, and before long started working in New York, opened letters of credit with China, and quickly climbed the business ladder.  He became a business leader.

The couple moved to Scarsdale when their oldest son was four. Their three children, Jeffrey, Joey, and Alyssa all attended yeshiva day schools.

While her children were in school, Shelly pursued a master’s degree in special education and worked with teenage girls at YU High School.

Life in Scarsdale

“Our life in Westchester was a very busy and [we had a] friend-filled life. We prayed at the Young Israel of Scarsdale and were very happy there.”

Unfortunately, tragedy struck when Albert was reading the Torah one Shabbat morning. He forgot the words midstream and was rushed to the hospital.  Albert was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor and was given six months to live.   With the help of experimental treatments, he lived for another two-and-a-half years.

Albert passed away at 48, when Jeff, Joey, and Alyssa were 16, 13, and 10, respectively. “My one regret is that I didn’t allow my kids to say their goodbyes to their father.  I only wanted to protect them from this saddest experience.” 

Life as a Single Mom

Work-life balance was challenging for Shelly as a single mother.  When Albert passed away, Shelly became an insurance broker, working with her brothers. This job afforded her more flexibility. 

Her children were very supportive.  Her oldest son, Jeff, gave up his spot at Boston University and enrolled at Baruch College to be closer to his mother and siblings.

After several years as an insurance broker, Shelly returned to her special education position, helping challenged children.  She found working with kids much more fulfilling than insurance.

She remained in Scarsdale for six years after Albert passed away. The house felt empty with her sons away at college and business.  She considered buying an apartment in the Upper West Side in New York for Alyssa and herself. 

“Something about the [the idea of living in a] Manhattan apartment and leaving my daughter home alone when I was out didn’t feel right. I realized I needed to go back to my community.  We lived with my brother Lee for a year in Flatbush since his wife had recently passed away. I then rented my own apartment on Ocean Parkway in Brooklyn.”

Special Ed Career Takes Off

In Brooklyn, Shelly pursued her special education career working with many community families and others.  She also obtained a specialized degree in bi-lingual special education for English and Spanish. She worked with the Spanish-speaking community and went wherever she was needed.

Shelly achieved immense success with many challenged children.

Before reading the official diagnosis for a particular child, Shelly reviewed the family dynamic at the home, which she considered to be a crucial step to allow her to make her assessment.

Employing fun and toys, Shelly worked to acquire a good read on the child and the family. Once she identified the issues, Shelly worked on enhancing the child’s strengths/skills. She built on and accentuated their assets while teaching them age-appropriate skills. Her teaching method employed play and games.

One of Shelly’s success stories was a four-year-old child who exhibited suicidal behaviors, hiding under the kitchen table with a knife.  Shelly determined that this boy’s self-esteem was very low due to his precocious younger sister getting all the parents’ attention.  Under Shelly’s care, the boy regained his self-esteem, began to feel special, and was accepted into yeshiva.  His father started to exhibit great pride in him.

Other proud accomplishments include calming a three-year-old child with classical music and eliminating his deathly fear of subways.  After one train trip with Shelly, he overcame his fear and he even wanted to ride the subway again!

Shelly used basketball as a tool to support another child. He learned to read, write, and be a happy youngster. 

Shelly asked her son if she could give this child one of his basketball trophies as a reward for his achievements.  Her son willingly consented.

A Second Chance for Love

“After 18 years of being alone, I remember asking Hashem if it was time for me to meet someone special. About three weeks later, a mutual friend introduced me to Eli Salem, a chemical engineer. His love of life and lifestyle enhanced me.  We moved to Deal, NJ, and are very happy here. In addition to my husband Eli, my children and grandchildren are my most precious possessions.”

“My son Jeffrey is a compassionate, upbeat, hardworking venture capitalist and has two sons. Joey is thoughtful, a johnny-on-the-spot kind of guy, who started a commercial laundry business.  Joey and his lovely, wife Vicki, have three children. Alyssa is married and works at Flatbush Yeshiva High School where she is loved and valued. They have four children. My kids are fun, smart, and very active.  I am also blessed with Eli’s wonderful family.

“I am so grateful to have Eli as my partner. He grounds me. Eli is such a religious person and loves being at shul. We often discuss the parasha together.”

Community

“I am so fortunate to be part of the Syrian community where rabbis give of themselves all day and night, where friends and family learn to donate, help, and share life’s happiest and saddest moments.  We are truly a compassionate and blessed community.”

Shelly’s volunteer work includes supporting challenged children at Hillel Yeshiva, SBH projects, and leading book clubs. She volunteered at Hillel’s early childhood for many years.

To unwind, Shelly spends time with her children and grandchildren. She enjoys painting, reading, playing bridge and canasta, and simply being with friends. 

What’s Next

“I most definitely want to spend more time with Eli, enhance his life and mine simply by being together.”

Career Advice

“Follow your favorite hobbies if you have them and stretch them into professional pursuits.  Take courses to strengthen your skills.”

Connect with Shelly at rachellesalem1@gmail.com.

Ellen Geller Kamaras, CPA/MBA, is an International Coach Federation (ICF) Associate Certified Coach.  Her coaching specialties include life, career, and dating coaching.  She can be contacted at ellen@lifecoachellen.com (www.lifecoachellen.com).