Rabbi David Sutton & Dr. David Katzenstein, LCSW-R
We all claim to be ready to die for the sake of Hashem. But are we ready to live for His sake?
Accepting the Yoke of Heaven
In Alei Shur, Vol. II, p. 362, Rav Wolbe discusses how we recite Kriat Shema twice every day and we are mekabel ol Malchut Shamayim,accepting upon ourselves the yoke of Hashem’s Kingship. In so doing, we crown Hashem King over all our limbs and commit to control our eyes, our ears, our mouths, our hands, our feet, our thoughts, and our feelings.
At that time when we accept ol Malchut Shamayim, someone who knows himself well may sense a voice inside that says, “I want to speak lashon hara.” And it’s quite possible that most, if not all, of our senses want to rebel. Not only do we not want to control our mouths, but we don’t want to control our appetites, our eyes, our bad middot. We don’t want to control any number of things that we should be controlling. And that’s when we are being honest. Someone who’s not attuned to his inner thoughts can easily fool himself. ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Theory) posits that trying to push away these thoughts only invigorates them.
The Fiery Furnace
The rabbis say we are supposed to imagine a burning furnace, ready to devour us if we don’t refrain from worshiping avodah zarah,just like Avraham Avinu was thrown into a fiery furnace for refusing to do so (and was saved by Divine intervention). When reciting Shema, we are to think that we are ready to jump into that furnace and give up our life rather than worship idols. We are ready to die for the cause! That’s “u’v’chol nafshecha,” serving Hashem with all our soul.
As a young man learning in Yeshivas Mir, Shlomo Wolbe would say Kriat Shema like a good boy, including having in mind that he was willing to die al kiddush Hashem. Then an hour into his first learning seder, instead of learning, he noticed he was discussing nonsense. Four hours is a long time to learn without any chatting! But he said to himself, “Hold on, I’m willing to jump into a fiery furnace, but I’m not willing to learn for four hours straight? Something’s a little off here. Something is a little hypocritical. Something is insincere.”
And the answer is, his kabbalat ol Malchut Shamayim was not complete.
Putting Hashem in Control
Rav Yisrael Salanter says, when saying Shema, we can accept Hashem’s Kingdom over the seven heavens and the four corners of the earth — and leave ourselves out! So yes, of course, be prepared to die al kiddush Hashem, but kabbalat ol Malchut Shamayim means putting that yoke on all of those inner forces inside of us, on all of those voices that want to be in control, and putting Hashem in control.
A man was becoming a member of the Communist Party, and his comrades asked him a number of questions.
“If you have two houses, what will you do with them?”
He answered proudly, “One for myself, one for Mother Russia.” One check.
“If you have two airplanes, what will you do?”
“One for myself, one for Mother Russia.” Another check.
“If you have two coats, what will you do?”
“One for myself, one for Mother Russia.” Beautiful.
Then they asked, “If you have two chickens, what will you do?”
He didn’t answer.
Again, they asked, “What if you have two chickens?”
No answer.
Finally, they demanded, “Why aren’t you answering?”
And he said, “Well, I HAVE two chickens…” Which means, of course, we’ll give up that theoretical house, plane, and coat. Which is all wonderful. But that’s in theory. Once we’re talking about practical, as they say, tachlis,then the picture changes. “Yeah, I’ll jump into the fiery furnace. But not telling a little white lie? That’s a whole different story.”
TAKEAWAY
What do we do when we find that darker side inside of us? We have to admit, “Yes, I have those forces inside of myself. I can’t suppress them; they might come out. I have to work them through.” And then, follow through