Don’t Fool Yourself!
Suppression is a psychological mechanism that refers to the deliberate effort to consciously avoid or inhibit thoughts, feelings, or behaviors. It is a form of self-control that allows individuals to regulate their thoughts and emotions, so they can align with their goals, values, and social norms. From a psychological perspective, suppression is often seen as a coping strategy that can help individuals maintain mental balance, especially in the face of stressful or challenging circumstances.
The Impact of Psychological Suppression
Suppression has been the subject of much research and has been found to be an effective, but also a limited, form of self-control. While suppression makes it easier to navigate challenging situations, it can also have negative consequences, as it requires a significant amount of mental effort and can result in feelings of psychological distress, especially when used over an extended period. Research has shown that repeated suppression can result in emotional exhaustion, and that the energy required for suppression is taken from other cognitive resources, resulting in decreased performance on tasks that require attention and memory.
One study that investigated the impact of suppression on emotions, “The Cognitive Control of Emotion” by James J. Gross, published in the Annual Review of Psychology in 1998, analyzed the effects of emotion regulation strategies, including suppression, on emotional experience and physiological responses. The research found that suppressing emotions did not lead to the elimination of the emotional experience, but instead led to an increase in physiological arousal, which subsequently fostered an increase in psychological distress. Furthermore, suppression was associated with decreased cognitive control and increased negative feelings.
Developing Better Strategies
This highlights the importance of understanding the mechanisms behind emotion regulation, and the need to develop more adaptive strategies for managing emotions. This study and others like it have contributed to our understanding of the impact of suppression on emotions and have helped to inform the development of more effective emotion regulation techniques.
Suppression is also to be avoided when it comes to working on our middot and avodat Hashem. We must acknowledge the negative feelings we have and not suppress them. But acknowledging these negative feelings must be sincere.
Lesson from Rav Wolbe
There’s a difference between what Rav Wolbe calls a “frum Kriat Shema,” which means just closing our eyes and thinking of all of the high and holy things, and saying Kriat Shema in a real and sincere way. Rav Wolbe discusses how easy it is to fool ourselves, to close our eyes and pray aloud with a lot of kavanah. To imagine walking in joy to die al kiddush Hashem, but having no idea what’s going on inside of ourselves.
Our job is to be sincere and serious and realize what’s going on inside of ourselves. Kabbalat ol Malchut Shamayim means that our ears won’t listen to devarim assurim, our mouths won’t speak devarim assurim or eat prohibited foods or do so l’shem taavah, and so on and so forth. In Rav Wolbe’s words, “If you really know yourself, you’re going to realize all these forces are not agreeing to kabbalat ol Malchut Shamayim.”
TAKEAWAY:
Look at yourself honestly and ask yourself: What am I REALLY willing to give up for the sake of Hashem?