By SIMHA Mental Health Series
When King Solomon wrote, “Educate a child according to his way,” he captured a timeless truth: every child learns and grows differently. For some children, intense energy and focus challenges can make life feel overwhelming for them and their parents. To shed light on this, SIMHA Mental Health hosted a conversation with Dr. Lancer Naghdeci, DOO, and Yaffa Gordon, pediatric physician assistant, moderated by Isaac Setton, LMHC. Together, they explored what ADHD really means, how it affects families, and how compassion and understanding can help children thrive.
Seeing the World Differently
“ADHD isn’t about bad behavior or bad parenting,” says Dr. Lancer Naghdeci. “It’s about how the brain manages attention, impulses, and emotions.” ADHD presents in varied ways. Some children struggle with focus, forgetfulness, or losing track of instructions. Others are highly impulsive, moving constantly, interrupting, or acting before thinking. Many experience a mix of both. Behind these behaviors is often a child who experiences the world intensely, feeling emotions deeply and reacting quickly. This intensity can cause frustration, but it is also a source of great creativity.
Understanding, Not Blaming
Families sometimes confuse ADHD with other conditions like learning disorders or autism. Yaffa Gordon explains, “Learning disorders affect how children process information. Autism involves social and sensory challenges. ADHD is different, it’s about regulation: attention, energy, and emotion.” Recognizing this distinction shifts the focus from blame to understanding. “It’s not about willpower,” she says. “It’s about wiring.” When parents understand that, guilt gives way to empathy and action.
When to Seek Help
Every parent wonders: Is this normal, or something more? Yaffa says the key is functioning. “If mornings always end in tears, homework feels impossible, or friendships are hard, it might be time to seek help.” Dr. Naghdeci adds, “We look for patterns that persist across home, school, and social settings. It’s not about perfection, it’s about impact.” A full ADHD evaluation includes history, teacher and parent input, and sometimes testing. “Diagnosis isn’t about labeling,” Dr. Naghdeci notes. “It’s about learning who the child is and how to help them succeed.”
More Than Medication
Medication can be helpful, but it’s only part of treatment. “Medication helps the brain focus,” Yaffa explains. “But therapy, structure, and connection teach the life skills that last.” A balanced approach includes behavioral therapy, school accommodations, consistent routines, and physical activity. Sleep, nutrition, and creativity all support focus and self-regulation. “It’s never just about a pill,” says Dr. Naghdeci. “It’s about building confidence, not compliance.”
A Parent’s Perspective
Yaffa speaks not just as a clinician but as a mother. “My son has ADHD,” she shares. “It’s been a journey, challenging, yes, but full of growth. I learned that helping him didn’t mean fixing him. It meant understanding him and focusing on his strengths.” Her story reflects what many parents discover: progress begins when we stop fighting against who our children are and start working with them.
Breaking the Stigma
Stigma remains one of the biggest challenges. Many parents fear being judged or misunderstood. “People still say, ‘Your child just needs discipline,’” Isaac Setton notes. Dr. Naghdeci shakes his head. “ADHD isn’t a lack of discipline; it’s a difference in brain development. Once people understand that, compassion replaces criticism.” When parents respond with empathy, children learn to extend that same grace to themselves.
The Power of Support
SIMHA’s mission is to ensure families don’t have to navigate ADHD alone. The organization connects parents with trusted, culturally sensitive professionals who understand both the science and the spirit of the community. “Finding the right therapist is like finding the right teacher,” says Yaffa. “It’s someone who listens, gets your world, and believes in your child.” This connection between families, clinicians, and schools can turn isolation into empowerment.
Redefining Potential
When we reframe ADHD as difference rather than deficiency, the story changes. Many entrepreneurs, artists, and innovators share traits common in ADHD: creativity, spontaneity, and energy. “We don’t treat a diagnosis,” says Dr. Naghdeci. “We treat a person.” A child who daydreams or moves nonstop might one day design, perform, or lead. With the right guidance, those traits can become gifts.
A Final Word
ADHD is not a life sentence – it’s an invitation to understand differently, parent patiently, and support more compassionately. Every child deserves the chance to succeed on their own path. SIMHA Organization helps families find those tools through understanding, connection, and care. Visit simhahealth.org or call 718-675-3000 to learn more.