A Long Shot
It was the first day of basketball practice at Wingate High School in Brooklyn. Coach Johnson handed a ball to each player. “Fellas,” he said, “I want you to practice shooting from the spots you might expect to be in during the game.”
Little Sammy immediately sat down on the bench and began arcing the ball toward the basket.
Carl W.
A Helping Hand
Old Moishe Applebaum arrived at the post office with a post card in his hand. He approached the employee at the desk and said, “I’m sorry to bother you but could you address this post card for me? My arthritis is acting up today and I can’t even hold a pen.”
“Certainly sir,” said the younger postal employee. “I’d be glad to.”
He wrote out the address and also agreed to write a short message and sign the card for old Moishe. Finally, the postal employee asked, “Now, is there anything else I can do for you?”
Old Moishe thought about it for a moment and said, “Yes, at the end could you just add, ‘PS: Please excuse the sloppy hand-writing.’”
Jimmy F.
Lesson in Forgiveness
Mrs. Friedman, A Hebrew school teacher at Beth Israel Congregation had just concluded her lesson in preparation of Yom Kippur and wanted to make sure she had made her point. She asked her class, “Can anyone tell me what you must do before you can obtain forgiveness for transgressing one of the commandments?”
There was a short pause and then, from the back of the room, a small girl spoke up and said, “Transgress one of the commandments.”
Frieda P.
A Clean Sweep
One afternoon a little Chaim was playing outdoors. He used his mother’s broom as a horse and had a wonderful time until it was getting dark.
He left the broom on the back porch. His mother was cleaning up the kitchen when she realized that her broom was missing. She asked little Chaim about the broom and he told her where it was.
She then asked him to please go get it. Little Chaim informed his mom that he was afraid of the dark and didn’t want to go out to get the broom.
His mother smiled and said, “Don’t worry Chaim. There’s nothing to be afraid of. Hashem is everywhere and he will protect you.”
Little Chaim opened the back door a little and said, “Hashem, if you’re out there, please hand me the broom.”
Marlene G.
Career Change
Abe had been a salesman in the garment district all his life, but was getting tired of the constant battles with customers. So he decided to give up his job and become a policeman.
Several months later, a friend asked Abe how he liked his new role.
“Well,” Abe replied, “the pay is terrible, the hours are too long, and I’ve gained ten pounds because of all of these donuts, but the one thing I love is that the customer is always wrong!”
Allie M.
A Killer Service
One Friday afternoon, the rabbi noticed little David staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the synagogue. It was covered with names and small flags were mounted on either side. The seven year old had been staring at the plaque for some time and finally asked the rabbi, “Rabbi, what is this?”
“Well David, it’s a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service.”
Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque. Little David’s voice was barely audible when he asked, “Which one – the Friday night, or the Shabbat morning service?”
Lisa A.
Pain in the Hand
Mrs. Cohen has been suffering from arthritis. On the advice of her daughter-in-law, she goes to see Dr. Rubinstein, a specialist.
After a long visit, Dr. Rubinstein prescribes some medication and sends Mrs. Cohen on her way.
After a few weeks, Dr. Rubinstein calls Mrs. Cohen saying, “Mrs. Cohen, your check came back.”
Mrs. Cohen answers, “So did my arthritis!”
Victor C.
An Accident of Note
One day, Chaim Yankel was trying to pull out of a parking place but to his horror, he hit the bumper of the car parked in front of him. To make matters worse, the incident was witnessed by a handful of people waiting for a bus.
So Chaim Yankel got out of his car, inspected the damage carefully, took out a pen and a piece of paper and wrote a note, which he then left under the wiper blade of the other car.
This is what the note said. “Hello, I have just hit your car and there are some people here watching me. They think I am writing this note to leave you my name, phone number, and car registration number. But I am not.”
Richie H.
A Good Clean Lesson
Rabbi Epstein received a call from a wealthy businessman who was interested in exploring Judaism, but had many questions. He asked if Rabbi Epstein could pay him a visit at the office, which the good rabbi obliged.
The next day, Rabbi Epstein pulled up to an enormous manufacturing facility that produced soaps and other household cleaners. The company president, Aaron Miller, was there to greet him.
“Thank you for coming Rabbi,” Mr. Miller said. “Let’s go for a walk, shall we?”
After some small talk Mr. Miller said, “Rabbi, please help me answer this question that I’ve been thinking about: what good is religion, really? Look at all the trouble and misery in the world! Even after thousands of years of religions teaching about goodness and truth and love and peace, there’s still war and deceit and so many terrible things. If Judaism is true, why should this be?”
Rabbi Epstein just stroked his beard in thought.
They continued walking until he noticed a child playing in the gutter. Rabbi Epstein said, “Look at that child. You say that soap makes people clean, but see the dirt on that youngster. Of what good is soap? With all the soap in the world, over all these years, the child is still filthy. I wonder how effective soap is, after all!”
Mr. Miller, president of a soap company, protested, “But Rabbi, soap can’t do any good unless it is used!”
“Exactly,” replied the rabbi. “Exactly.”
Menachem S.