Frieda Schweky
After Labor Day, the number one thing on every mom’s mind is back-to- school shopping and preparing for the holidays. The moment the kids get off to school our minds turn to holiday prep. Since it’s our job to take care of clothing, our family, and cooking the meals, holiday prep is mostly physical. We plan what we’re buying, and making, then we shop and prepare. Generally, we don’t have time to think about the spiritual part of Elul, which is so important. Isn’t the whole point of the holiday is to prepare your soul for the coming judgment? But the fact is, as the ones who run the household, we moms rarely have any time to ourselves to reflect and grow at this time of year, when we’re supposed to do it most. But this year, the holidays don’t start until October. Personally, I’m still busy with editing my photos from the summer (I’m a professional photographer). However, I know I have some time I can dedicate to growth. Since this is the first time in my adult life I’ve had this opportunity, I realized that I really don’t know what to do to get ready! I recognized that a lot of moms are in the same boat, so I decided to ask people who I feel really do prepare, what they do ahead of the holidays to get ready spiritually. Let’s hear from them.
Dorit Kanik
We need to think of our year like a business would. Towards the end of the year, we do an honest review. Check the books, what we did well, what we did wrong, what we can do better, what should I do to invest in learning and improving, how much time can I realistically invest, and so on. We must reflect. Hashem is so kind to us, he lets us reflect and start new each year! We’re going on trial. We should prepare like a business would. We get the best lawyer (figuratively speaking), we do our best to get our story straight and prepare our plan for going forward before the judgment on Rosh Hashanah. This is no small thing, How we do determines our next year. Sit and think with a clear mind. You can make a list, what you did good, why is my life great, what do I need to work on, and so on. Evaluate your relationships. Are you a valuable friend, are the friends you keep adding value to your life or do they talk too much lashon hara? If so, maybe they’re not the best people to surround yourself with. If you’re fighting with someone, try to clear the air and make amends. Make peace. In this time leading up to the holidays, every minute of Torah counts for more, mitzvot count for more! Hashem wants to tip the scales in our favor and give us a great year. He’s our father. He loves us. The best thing for us is to put in the effort. That is what He wants from us at this time.
Sofia Schweky
This time of year, the main thing I do is I breathe and I connect inside myself. When I meditate it’s easiest to think clearly. In my opinion, our souls are already ready for the holidays, it’s our minds and our bodies that we need to prepare, so our souls have the space that we need.
Millie Schweky
This month has so many deep and beautiful concepts, and intense energy to tap into. But, if someone doesn’t know where to get started, I would recommend figuring out how to do cheshbon hanefesh, which basically translates into taking an accounting of everything they did this past year and figuring out where exactly they need to improve.
Journaling practices are the pathways to starting cheshbon hanefesh, a yearly review and deep dive into your inner world.
Here are some journal prompts my teacher sent us starting with dealing with hardships:
What have these past three weeks taught me about myself? What were my opportunities for growth? Where could I have done better and why? What lesson am I taking from this?
What am I proud of myself about concerning how I handled the challenge/hardship?
What hidden good came from the hardship?
What decreases my happiness or doesn’t serve a good purpose in my life?
How does it feel knowing this [going through hardships] is a natural phase and there’s hidden comfort that is yet to be revealed?
What are five things I love about myself that I show others?
What are five things I love about myself but don’t show others?
Notice your hidden good in hopes of revealing it. Bring to the surface and engage in a dialogue with your shadow side. This can include hidden fears, suppressed emotions, acknowledging feelings, and the parts of yourself you tend to avoid.
Take the next two weeks to work on these journaling questions and be intentional with your time. Letting life happen to you is easy, but you’re not here for that. You are here to show up to your life, to make decisions aligned with your truth, and to do the real work of getting to know yourself deeper and reaching your greatest potential. Even when going through hardships, you still show up for yourself.
Danielle Renov
As Elul approaches, my whole mindset shifts to a more purposeful look backwards, in order to facilitate my looking forward toward the future.
With the arrival of Rosh Hashanah comes an almost month-long period of intense prayer and introspection. Like everything else that truly matters, I like to be prepared.
I want to determine what I really want to pray for, what my goals for the coming year are, and what areas I need to work on to achieve those goals. The answers come only through the process of a detailed internal accounting. Taking stock of what was accomplished in the last year, noticing areas where improvements could be made, and recognizing the places I haven’t begun to work on are all part of my process.
Usually by the time Rosh Hashanah approaches I have a few areas picked out in specific categories that I want to work on for the coming year.
My process feels personal and not something I’d ever considered sharing. However, if this helps even one person then it’s worth it to share. We all know that the process of preparing for Tishrei can be overwhelming My categories are:
Getting close to Hashem – All the things related to how I interact with Hashem fall this category: praying, Tehillim, berachot, kavana, bitachon…
Family- Seeing my role within in my family relationships and noticing where my own character traits created stumbling blocks in those relationships and focusing on working on them (patience, acceptance, quality time…).
Community – This includes everything from friends to kids’ schools, to shul, to spending time in the park and noticing where I need to work on myself. I think about the following: acceptance, lashon hara, hachnosat orchim, bikur cholim, etc.
Self – these are the areas that I need to work on in order to build my own character and to enable myself to work on everything else. Here I include boundaries, self-respect, confidence, anger, and pride.
Adele Cohen
The two books I always want to read this time of year are Elul by Dovid Goldwasser and My Father, My King by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin. One of the main themes of the high holidays is recognizing Hashem as our king. Especially during an election year, when we can get so wrapped up and reliant on one person winning over another, it does not matter as long as Hashem is our king. What my husband does to prepare for the holidays, as well as others do, I’m sure, is go through a Hebrew/English machzor and just read the prayers and learn what they mean. This is so important because it helps a person understand what they’re saying. Once you understand, it allows you to pray from the heart! Additionally, to take Post-it notes and write down beforehand what you want to pray for the coming year and stick them inside of your machzor. A lot of the times we think we know what we want to pray for, it’s obvious to us. And then the moment we open the book in shul our mind goes blank. This small preparation can really help you to reflect and also to remember!
Mari Gindi
The women of Deal, myself included, instituted a goal-oriented program that is really helping us get and stay in touch with Hashem. Our program started right after Oct 7th. We felt like we had to do something. We decided to learn for the protection of am Yisrael and to bring Hashem’s hesed down. We partnered up in pairs of two and we committed to read a lesson-a-day kind of book with our partner over the phone once a day. The phone calls aren’t very long but they are impactful. We’ve been learning books that are inspiring, mostly on the topic of ahavat Yisrael, shmirat halashon, and things like that. Everyone is literally on the same page and we’re all learning the same material. So, whoever I see on the street (which happens often in this small Deal community) we’re learning the same thing and we can discuss it. It’s very cool. We’re going strong and going forward and we’re going to keep going. It’s made people a lot more aware of their actions, words, and overall ahavat Yisrael!
Now, just in time for Elul, we are starting our fifth book together. This book is geared to preparing for the high holidays. It’s a workbook. We started on Rosh Hodesh Elul, which is 40 days until Yom Kippur. Each day there is another small task we can do to keep us aware via self-introspection.
Wow, so beautiful. I hope to be able to take some of these things and apply them to make the holidays even more special. I pray that everyone has an incredible and uplifting holiday season.
Until next month,
Frieda Schweky!
Frieda is an event and portrait photographer. Check Frieda out on Instagram @ friedaschwekyphoto For photography inquiries or article topic suggestions email her friedaschweky@gmail.com