The Secret of Overcoming Darkness and Despair in Our Personal lives
It’s dark outside. As winter sets in, sunset cuts the days short and the nights seem to stretch on forever. If you think about it, it can seem strange that Hanukah, the Festival of Lights, falls out during the darkest, coldest time of the year.
Rising Above the Darkness
Yet, when we take a step back and analyze the message of Hanukah, we see that this is precisely the message of the holiday – that a small bit of oil can provide a great deal of illumination, that we can find the light of hope and faith even in the darkest periods. By contemplating this message, we can walk away from this joyous holiday with a timeless lesson about accessing light in the midst of darkness, and thus be able to triumph over the darkness in our personal lives, and become changed people.
Jewish history bears out this lesson in a remarkable way. For centuries, the Jewish people have risen above the most immobilizing darkness. In the face of destruction, tragedy, and threats of total annihilation, we have continually prevailed despite all odds. We have always found the small ray of light that drove away the most dreadful darkness.
As we languish in this lengthy galut, our situation often seems foggy, unclear, or even dark. And it can be a struggle to maintain our equilibrium and inner peace. When we experience “darkness” in our personal lives, when we see those around us floundering, or when we find ourselves constantly bombarded with news about tragedies, it can seem as if we have nowhere to turn. Clarity evades us, as we continue to ask ourselves many difficult questions. Why are these things happening? Where can I turn? What is the right answer?
Finding Clarity and Fortitude
How can we obtain the clarity – the light in the darkness – that our generation is so desperately seeking?
Rebbetzin Tziporah Harris, renowned lecturer and creator of The Clarity Seminar, discusses the importance of fortifying ourselves with bitahon (trust in Gd). She shares that a breakthrough in clarity is possible through persistent effort and a steadfast commitment to reviewing these principles. Trusting that Hashem loves us and does everything for our ultimate benefit gives us the emotional fortitude we need to prevail over life’s challenges.
Every human being is a vessel. And what we choose to fill that vessel with becomes our experience of life. We can choose to fill our minds with positive messages, and we can train ourselves to recognize that all that happens in life is for our training and development. Yes, getting stuck in a traffic jam is a great lesson in patience. We can find growth opportunities in every circumstance.
We can flex our “gratitude muscles” by taking a minute each day to count our blessings, thereby training our minds to focus on the positive, on what we have instead of on what we are lacking. Thank Hashem for the people in your life, for the parts of your body that are healthy and functioning, and for all of your material possessions.
We can fortify ourselves against the pressures of everyday life that threaten to drag us down. All it takes is a few minutes a day of infusing messages of bitahon into one’s consciousness.
An Opening Like the Eye of a Needle
One way to do this is by repeating affirmations. Though this may sound simplistic, affirmations are, in fact, very beneficial, since our words have tremendous power and can profoundly affect who we are.
When we say statements like, “All that happens is for my training and development,” “All that happens is a character development opportunity,” or “Hashem is taking me exactly where I need to go,” they can really begin to sink in. Then when your child spills spaghetti and meatballs all over your white carpet, you will be able to look at the incident through the proper glasses. You will be able to refer back to the phrases that you have been filling your mind with, and they will strengthen you. You may even be able to think, “Aha! I have been asking Hashem to help me become a more patient person. This is a great opportunity to develop patience.” Sure, this takes time, but the more you fill your mind with uplifting thoughts, the more you will be able to deal with minor annoyances with composure, even the ones that seem to come completely out of left field. Everything is an opportunity for growth!
Our sages teach, “Open up for me an opening like the eye of a needle, and I will enlarge it to be an opening through which wagons can enter” (Midrash Rabbah to Shir Hashirim 5:2). All we need is to initiate one small step, to shine one small light, and then Hashem will carry us to the places we need to go.
As we celebrate the Hanukah miracles, we should also reflect on the seemingly small miracles in our own personal lives that we tend to overlook. We can realize that we have so much to be grateful for, and that when Hashem closes one door, He opens another, and He carries us to places that are greater than we could have ever imagined. We just have to be ready to walk through that door. Hanukah’s messages can give us the strength to make it all the way through.