Jack Gindi
Every February, winter sets in. We spend more time indoors, but we don’t get more connected. In fact, research shows couples fight more during these cold months, not less. We talk about caring for our neighbor, but what about giving our family more grace first?
I’ve lived through enough winters to see a pattern: the cold brings couples closer physically but often pushes them apart emotionally. Research now confirms what many of us feel – relationship conflict increases during these months.
The Loneliness Epidemic
The U.S. Surgeon General has declared an epidemic of loneliness. Nearly half of all American adults feel isolated, and for one in three, that feeling hits them every single week. We’re more connected digitally than ever before, yet we’ve never been further apart. We’re losing the art of true connection, and it’s a structural problem in human relationships.
I think about my early days in real estate. You’d have all these guys in the office, all different backgrounds, different beliefs, all hustling hard. We’d argue about current events, share lunch, celebrate each other’s deals. Nobody scheduled “connection time.” It just happened because we showed up, in person, every day. Today, the average American has fewer than five close friends, and a staggering 17 percent report having none at all. We’ve traded job sites for social media feeds, and we’re paying the price in our well-being.
My son Shaun had a gift for this kind of connection. He didn’t ask, “How are you?” he’d say, “What’s going on in your world?” That small shift invited real conversation. He instinctively knew how to make people feel seen. It’s a lesson I carry with me every day.
The Foundation of Marriage
But there’s a load-bearing wall that continues to support the structure of our happiness: marriage. Study after study shows that married people are consistently, significantly happier than their unmarried peers. A recent Gallup poll found those who are married are far more likely to be thriving. It’s not the piece of paper that creates this happiness premium; it’s the daily, intentional act of building a life with someone else.
This is where the Balance pillar of L.I.F.E. Mapping becomes so critical. Balance isn’t about a perfect 50/50 split between work and life. It’s about the integration of all our parts – our Body, Being, Business – into a harmonious whole, supported by the relationships that give it all meaning. It’s about designing a life where connection is not an afterthought, but the central beam that holds everything up.
In my own marriage of over fifty years, I’ve learned that love isn’t a feeling; it’s a project. It requires daily maintenance, honest communication, and a shared blueprint. It’s about creating rituals, the “important little things” we’d say to our kids at bedtime, and the non-negotiable Sunday morning coffee together that reinforce the foundation of your connection. A staggering 78 percent of married people feel closer to their spouse than to any other adult. That’s not an accident; it’s the result of intentional design.
So this February, I invite you to look at the blueprint of your heart, at the structure of your bonds. Are you building a life of intentional relationships, or are you living in a house of digital isolation?
Rebuild Loving Connections
So how do we fix this? We need to set a new navigation strategy. Here are three simple ways to start rebuilding loving connections right now:
The Analog Dinner Hour: For one meal, all phones go in a basket.
The Living Room Time Capsule: One night a week, break out a board game or a deck of cards. The silence we now fill with scrolling used to be filled with conversation.
The Front Porch Visit: Pick one person you care about and give them the gift of your undivided attention. A real phone call, a front-porch chat.
Loneliness is a crack in our national foundation, but it’s a crack we can repair, one relationship at a time. The data is clear: a deep, meaningful connection is the most powerful predictor of a thriving life. This month let’s not just celebrate family. Let’s prioritize the work of building the riches of feeling safe, appreciated, and seen. The blueprints are available to all of us. We just have to start building them together, right here, right now.
Because a life of balance isn’t about having it all. It’s about having the people who matter most, and building a world with them, for them, every single day.
Jack Gindi helps families navigate life’s challenges through the I Believe in Me Foundation. Contact: jack@ibelieveinmefoundation.com.