Ellen Geller Kamaras
“The bridal gown is an important piece of a girl’s life even though she wears it for one night. Being a part of that huge moment and making it a happy experience is so rewarding.” ~ Esther ~
Please meet Esther Cohen Dayon, a wife, mother, and grandmother. Along with 20 devoted volunteers from the community and other family members, Esther runs the Shelly Cohen Bridal Gmach, a bridal gmach,named after her beloved mother. A gmach is short for “gemilat hesed,” the bestowing of lovingkindness. It is a charitable organization offering interest-free loans, or items like furniture or clothing for free or at low cost.
Esther radiates warmth and openness. She enjoys meeting new people and getting to know them by asking questions. Esther’s husband, Charlie, affectionately refers to her as “Barbara Walters.”
Roots and Education
The daughter of Rochelle (Shelly) Tawil, a”h, and Max Cohen, a”h, both Syrian, Esther is one of seven siblings, born right in the middle. Sadly, her sister Paulette Shaban, a”h, passed away four years ago.
Esther attended Hillel Yeshiva in New Jersey for grade school. She has remained close with friends from Hillel and several of them volunteer at the Gmach. Esther was a good student, enjoying her studies and friendships.
When Esther was three years old, her parents took her for a drive to Boro Park, Brooklyn. Esther declared, “I want to live here!”
Much later, she decided to attend an all-girls high school. However, there were no separate girls yeshivot nearby. Her brother, Rabbi Norman Cohen, the assistant rabbi of the Eatontown Synagogue, Shaare Tefilah bene Moshe, recommended Bais Kalla High School in Lakewood.
“Newly frum, Bais Kalla High School was the best four years despite personal challenges at home. My mother was in out and of the hospital and my father was seriously injured by a forklift, which required nine surgeries. On the first day of twelfth grade, my mother passed away. My classmates and teachers were so supportive and helped me flourish and get through the hard times.”
One of Esther’s memorable high school events was presenting the parashat hashavua speech at an eleventh grade Shabbaton. Raizy Diamond Ozeri, daughter of Rabbi Shlomo Diamond, a close friend, was a significant influence in Esther’s religious growth during high school.
After graduation, Esther studied for one year at Lakewood Seminary.
Her Essence
Esther is easy to talk to. She is warm, funny, friendly, humble, and easy going.
She was strong, resilient, innovative, and giving in taking over the Gmach as a mom of young children. Esther views the Gmach as Hashem’s Gmach. Esther, her family, and the volunteers are messengers helping Hashem’s daughters to find their gowns.
Marriage and Family
At seventeen, Esther married her naseeb, Charlie Dayon, son of Irwin and Alice Dayon. Charlie, like Esther, was raised in Deal. Esther’s cousin, a classmate of Charlie’s, thought it would be a good match, and her aunt made it happen.
The couple have four adult children and several grandchildren. Esther is very proud of her kids. Her three daughters are all creative and work in different capacities in the sheitel industry. Her son is studying in Rabbi Harary’s yeshiva in Lakewood.
“Our children are my greatest accomplishment, but I can’t take full credit. My husband was and is very hands-on when they were growing up, and we tried to be on the same page raising them.”
Esther and Charlie strove to have their kids become independent. “That means taking a step back sometimes and trusting that they’ll do the right thing. BH, our children look to do what’s right.”
Charlie works as a property manager and devotes many hours to his youth passion project at the Eatontown Synagogue.
He became involved in the shul’s youth minyan years ago and he raised it to a whole new level. He runs the youth minyan (with Bingo) on Friday nights, the father-and-son minyan on Shabbat mornings, and the youth minyan on motzei Shabbat.
“After Shabbat, the raffle winners come to our garage to select their raffle prizes. Our garage looks like the boardwalk at Point Pleasant,” said Esther proudly.
Passions
“Attending the weddings and seeing the gowns in action is always gratifying. And when you get that smile and a thank you with a sigh of relief from the dads – it’s priceless! Weddings are joyful, but financially stressful, too. We are here to alleviate some of that stress. Our gowns are brand new and are current styles. We want our brides to feel special and never less than.”
The Shelly Cohen Gmach
Esther was a stay-at-home mom. The Gmach landed in her lap when her third child was around a year old.
“It was a hard transition with three young kids and no experience with managing the Gmach. Instead of shirts, you have 20 gowns to schlepp back and forth to the dry cleaner with a baby in the car! In addition, we had to relocate our store, and I discovered I needed to hire a lawyer and an accountant to set us up as a 501(c)3 to accept donations. My mother-in-law, Alice Dayon, helps me fundraise, which is a big stressor. I had to learn fundraising on the job.”
The Gmach began as her maternal grandmother, Paulette Tawil’s passion project in the 1970s in Brooklyn. She would lend out her four daughters’ wedding gowns. Paulette noticed a need in the community – people couldn’t afford to buy gowns that would be worn only once. She called her friends that had purchased gowns for their daughters and asked them to donate their gowns, for her to lend them out to brides from one place. The concept of a Gmach didn’t exist in the community and Paulette had no idea how large an operation it would become.
Every bride received a gift of bridal lingerie that Paulette bought with her own money. She started visiting local bridal shops to obtain inventory they couldn’t sell and her collection grew. Paulette did this all from a bedroom closet in her house in Brooklyn.
Esther’s mom, Shelly Cohen, was living in Deal and had given birth to her seventh child when diagnosed with cancer. She brought the Gmach to her home as a zechut for her refuah. Shelly took care of the brides as if they were her own daughters. None of them knew she was sick and was undergoing treatment. Mrs. Marlene Massry got involved and helped run the Gmach alongside Shelly for the next six years. After Shelly died, Mrs. Massry continued to run the Gmach. Cheryl Anteby and Alice Dayon were a tremendous help, too.
“At my mother’s funeral, Rabbi Michael Haber, zt”l, said the Gmach will be known as The Shelly Cohen Bridal Gmach. It’s 29 years later – and we are in a storefront location in West Long Branch. We have over 20 community women volunteering and taking appointments, we have over 150 bridal gowns and over 200 mother and sister of the bride gowns, as well as headpieces and veils.”
Role Models
Esther’s grandmother, Paulette Tawil, and her parents strongly influenced the woman she is today. Her grandmother’s strong commitment to doing hesed and her tenacity were values she modeled for her grandchildren.
“My parents had a beautiful relationship and brought my siblings and me up to be close. We always felt loved and part of a special family.”
A Family Legacy
“We are the third generation running the Gmach and our kids help too – so that’s the fourth generation! They love it and are proud of this legacy. One day, our children be”H will operate it and as they step up, I’m excited to see the changes they will make.”
Esther, her sisters, her sisters-in-law, brothers, and brothers-in-law, work tirelessly for the Gmach and feel a connection and obligation to it.
Community
Running a community organization, Esther has seen firsthand how charitable and giving the Sephardic community is. “I’ve had men send donations out of the blue because they were so grateful that their daughters were getting married and they were blessed with the money to get them married off nicely. As a token of gratitude, they send a donation to the Gmach to help others.”
Esther’s Message
Esther emphasized that gmachs are volunteer-run. Volunteers donate their time to help others, out of the goodness of their hearts. She encourages people who utilize these gmachs to be respectful of the volunteers’ time, of the gmach’s rules, and of the item being borrowed.
“Please take a minute to appreciate the volunteers. It isn’t always easy to get an appointment. The hours/days/times may not work for you, but gmachs are hesed organizations ready to serve the community.”
Check out the Gmach’s website at Shellycohenbridal.comand on Instagram @shellycohenbridal. Esther is in the middle of a live spin-to-win fundraiser where donors can win $25,000 by spinning a wheel (Spyn.it/shellycohenbridal).
The Gmach welcomes volunteers who live in the Deal area. If you are interested, please call 732-222-2080.
Ellen Geller Kamaras, CPA/MBA, is an International Coach Federation (ICF) Associate Certified Coach. Her coaching specialties include life, career, and dating coaching. She can be contacted at ellen.kamaras@gmail.com.