All parents want their children to enjoy a healthy feeling of self-worth. The understanding of “I have intrinsic value” is what leads to one being able to accomplish their goals in life.
The great news is that since nobody is born with any opinions about anything, our children are not born with low self-esteem. If a child is experiencing low self-esteem, it’s nothing more than mistaken thinking about their value.
In order to help our children to understand their value, we need to:
- Get clear on what we actually want them to think about their value.
- Connect with them in ways that let them see their real value.
- Have them make use their good qualities to affect the world around them in a meaningful way.
So, what DO we want our children to think about themselves?
Do we want them to think they are more special than others? Absolutely not! If some people are more special than others, then they will always be mentally fighting with themselves trying to prove they are better, smarter, or more worthy. That creates a lot of mental chaos, as well as insecurity about their own worth. Instead we want them to believe the truth – that they have tremendous worth because EVERY human being has tremendous worth.
What does that mean?
Value is not something that rises and drops based on our performance. When we perform well, we get to see how our qualities create impact in the world around us, but that’s not what MAKES us valuable.
Now onto point #2, how do we connect with our children in ways that let them see that their Gdliness makes them more precious than the most expensive object in the world?
It’s all in how we treat them. If someone owns a $300,000 diamond, they take great care of it.
With children, we do things that show we think “wow” of human beings:
- We speak to them with extreme respect.
- We fully accept that all their feelings are normal.
- We make rules and hold our children accountable, as we fully believe in their ability to respect rules.
- When they struggle we offer support without judgement.
- We are not angered by their poor choices, and understand it’s part of their journey.
Lastly, people get to feel their worth when they see themselves affecting the world around them in a positive way.
When people are down and depressed, they feel useless, like the world doesn’t need them. But there’s actually no such thing! So, if you haven’t found any purpose in yourself or your child, it’s time to think harder!
Everyone was created for a reason. There’s no such thing as a person who doesn’t have any gifts. But there is definitely such a thing as a person who is unaware of their gifts.
If your child isn’t tuned in, give your child small jobs to do and then let them know how it affected people. (See examples in sidebar.)
So, if your child is suffering from low self-esteem, you can relax knowing it’s just their mistaken thinking, and you can help them think the truths that can help them to be their best selves!
To receive a free podcast on self-esteem, please contact Tammy at: firstname.lastname@example.org.
Ways To Build Up Self-Esteem
Below are a few examples on ways to boost your child’s self-esteem.
Can you please call Grandma and get that recipe?
When your child’s done – “You really know how to make Grandma’s day!”
I need someone organized like you to put the pantry in order.
When your child’s done – “You have no idea how much easier it is to find things!”
Would you be able to bake up a dessert?
When you taste it, say, “Yum, thank you!”