Tammy Sassoon
One of the most powerful yet simple ways to build your child’s self-esteem is by showing genuine interest in the things they care about. Whether it’s sports, drawing, construction, or skateboarding, when parents actively engage with their child’s passions, it sends a clear and affirming message: You matter. What you care about matters to me. I see you.
Healthy self-esteem in children is rooted in the feeling of being known, accepted, and valued. A child who feels seen in their uniqueness grows up with a stronger sense of self, more confidence in their abilities, and a greater willingness to take on challenges. Here’s why showing interest in your child’s interests is so effective, and how you can do so in meaningful ways.
Why Showing Interest Matters
It Communicates Unconditional Acceptance: When you take time to ask questions about your child’s favorite game or sit beside them while they draw, you’re showing that your love and attention are not based on what you think is important, but what they do. This fosters a sense of unconditional acceptance, which is a key to self-esteem. Children begin to internalize the idea that they don’t have to change who they are to earn your approval.
Showing Interest Strengthens Emotional Connection: Every child wants to feel connected to their parents. When you take an interest in their world, you’re not just gathering information – you’re entering their emotional space. This strengthens your relationship and lays the foundation for open communication. Kids who feel emotionally connected to their parents are more likely to express themselves, seek guidance, and bounce back from setbacks with resilience.
Showing Interest Builds Competence and Confidence: Children often express their budding skills and talents through the things they’re interested in. When you show enthusiasm and support, it encourages them to keep practicing, learning, and exploring. For example, a child who loves music will feel more confident if a parent listens to their new song or attends their recital. Your engagement validates their efforts and motivates them to keep growing.
Showing Interest Teaches Self-Worth Not Based on Achievement: When parental attention is only given to performance – grades, sports trophies, or other traditional accomplishments – children may start to believe their worth is tied to how well they do. But when a parent is interested in the joy their child finds in building LEGO creations or caring for plants, the child learns that who they are – not just what they do – is valuable.
How to Show Genuine Interest
Join Your Children – on Their Terms: If your child is into something you’re not familiar with – like music, coding, or collecting bugs – don’t dismiss it. Sit beside them as they explain, or even better, let them teach you. Let them take the lead, and try to experience the world through their eyes.
Make Space for Their Interests: Support your child’s interests by making time and space for them. This could mean signing them up for a local class, providing the tools they need, or just creating room in the family schedule to pursue their passion. When you prioritize their interests, you send a message that they are worth investing in.
Celebrate Effort and Curiosity: Shift the focus from outcomes to enthusiasm. “It’s so cool how you figured out how to build this,” or “You’ve learned so much about how guitars work!” will set the tone for further development in that area. Praise that acknowledges their effort and love of learning fuels a growth mindset and a deep sense of self-worth.
Final Thoughts
Showing interest in your child’s interests may seem like a small act, but it has a big impact. It tells them: You are important. Your thoughts and passions are worthy of attention. Over time, this forms the foundation of a strong, healthy self-esteem that will carry them through childhood and beyond.
As a parent, you don’t have to master every hobby or love every game your children enjoy – but your presence, your curiosity, and your willingness to step into their world speaks volumes. When children feel seen, they learn to see their own worth. And that is a gift they will carry for life.