Rabbi David Ashear
How tight or free-spending should a person be with his money, according to the principles of emunah and bitachon? Rabbi Lugassi quoted the Menoras HaMaor, who writes that a person should be happy with whatever Hashem has given him and rely on Hashem to send parnassah for his basic necessities.
One should never consider himself a pauper to the extent that he has to skimp on staples such as food and clothing. A person’s family has to look presentable and be nourished properly. With regard to extras and luxuries, there is no guarantee that Hashem will provide for them. We don’t know if they’re good for us, and therefore, if a person doesn’t have sufficient money, he should restrain himself from spending on these items. But for the basics, not only shouldn’t we hold back, we should spend happily and freely. Even if at the moment a person doesn’t have enough money to buy what he needs, he should borrow and trust that Hashem will ultimately provide for him to able to pay his debts.
Being able to spend money happily requires hizuk, like any other middah. A person should not be afraid to spend. Money is to be used. If we have it, and there’s a need, we should spend it. We shouldn’t complain or portray ourselves, even to our wives and children, as needy. A child has to feel that his parents can provide, and a wife should feel the same regarding her husband.
If a man is struggling in business, he should cut down on the extras, and his wife needs to understand that she needs to do the same. But as for the basic necessities, he always has to be the provider, even if he has to borrow.
The Gemara says (Bava Batra 15b) that Iyov was a vatran, a forgoing person, with regard to money. Because he was easygoing, he saw so much blessing in monetary matters. The amount we are given is determined only by Hashem, but our attitude is entirely up to us. A person can either feel deprived and bitter, or he can feel that he has what he needs, knowing that Hashem is always there to provide more.
In Emunah with Love and Chicken Soup, the biography of Rebbetzin Henny Machlis, author Sara Yoheved Rigler describes how the Rebbetzin was a shining example of the proper attitude in this area. She and her husband had a very large family, yet they were renowned for their hospitality, hosting over 100 guests at each Shabbat meal! Although they were not people of means, they always had enough to provide. The Rebbetzin used to say, “I have all the money; I have all the time; I have all the space.” She would never become overwhelmed by the great expense or preparation necessary to provide for all the guests, knowing that she had Hashem on her side. She lived for the moment, and relied on Hashem to help her for the future.
On many occasions, Friday morning would come around, and they didn’t have enough money to buy food for Shabbat. But the Rebbetzin never worried. Once, they still didn’t have enough money at 12:30pm, and they hadn’t even begun to shop. Their credit cards were maxed out, and the stores were beginning to close, but the Rebbetzin said, “Why should we spend our whole Friday worrying how we’re going to make Shabbat?” Somehow, help always came. Even if they had to borrow, it wasn’t a problem.
Our attitude is up to us. We have a Father with unlimited funds. He is the One Who brought us into the world. He is our Provider, and He wants us to feel at ease, even when the money is not pouring in. If we have this attitude, we’ll have more peace in the home, and that brings berachah. When it comes to extras we should be very careful how we spend, but we should always spend freely on the necessities.
May our positive attitude open up the gates of blessing for Hashem to shower us with more!