Rabbi David Ashear
Some folks suffer from ongoing medical issues. They go to various doctors, but none are able to help. They pray to Hashem for a refuah sheleimah, but nothing changes. After a while, they may become angry. What else am I supposed to do? they wonder. Am I not doing all the right things? I’m praying; I’m improving; I’m making a hishtadlut. Why isn’t Hashem helping me?
They hear many stories of other people who were helped and wonder why they don’t see a personal salvation. Some get fed up and want to turn away from Hashem. We aren’t judging them. The Gemara already says (Bava Batra 16b), A person is not held accountable during his distress. But, if, instead of being angry, people could find it within themselves to be more accepting and understand that this is good, trusting Hashem that He knows what He is doing, they could turn a very dismal situation into one of the highest forms of serving Hashem.
Hashem is not happy to see people in pain. He suffers with them. It hurts Him more than it hurts the patient. He is willing to endure the pain of every single person’s suffering only because He knows it is the absolute best for them to be this way at the moment. The people could be doing all the right things. The only reason Hashem is not changing their situation is because now it is still best for them to be that way.
Nevertheless, they must continue praying. The prayers are helping, even though it doesn’t seem that way. Every prayer elevates the person spiritually and he will receive eternal reward for each tefillah. As long as there is some form of hishtadlut that can be made to bring about a recovery, a person is obligated to continue going to other doctors. But, if there ever does come time when the doctors say there’s nothing else they can think of that will help, then the patient can confidently turn only to Hashem and say, “I did my part. Now it’s all in Your Hands.”
When Hashem knows the time is right to bring about a healing, it will come: through the doctor He chooses, at the time He chooses. And it will be our prayers that made it happen.
When I first spoke with Yaffah,* she told me that about one and a half years earlier, she began experiencing debilitating bouts of severe fatigue, intense muscle cramps, spasms, and difficulty walking. She consulted with many doctors, none of whom was able to diagnose her properly. She was in and out of hospitals without success. Some thought it was anxiety and prescribed medications for that. Others thought they found the problem and put her on heavy-duty steroids, but none of these remedies were working. Her physical health was rapidly declining. She prayed to Hashem day and night for a refuah sheleimah.
One day, someone suggested that she travel to the Mayo Clinic, a hospital in Minnesota highly acclaimed for solving medical mysteries. She called, but it was impossible to get an appointment with the leading doctors in their fields. She did get an appointment with an associate physician for August 14 at 12:30pm.
Yaffah counted down the days for three long months until her appointment, but when the time came, Baruch Hashem, she had a new grandchild born and didn’t want to miss the simha. Coupled with the fact that the doctor she was scheduled to see was not rated tops in his field, she chose to cancel her trip from New York to Minnesota, and on Shabbat, August 12, she participated in the simha of her grandchild.
That afternoon she felt very weak, and on Sunday, her health declined sharply. She pleaded with Hashem, “Tomorrow was supposed to be the day of my appointment in the Mayo Clinic. I beg You, Hashem, please send me a refuah sheleimah here in Brooklyn. It would have been so hard for me to travel, anyway. Please let it finally be the right time for me to be healed.”
At that point, it suddenly hit her: Why don’t I consult with my extremely dedicated and devoted pediatrician, who so skillfully took care of my children when they were growing up? He knew her for 27 years and wouldn’t say her symptoms were emotionally triggered.
Yaffah went to see him and, after a short consultation, the doctor confidently said, “You have Bartonella, a co-infection with Lyme disease.”
She was stunned. Could it be that after a year and a half, Hashem was helping her right here, practically in her backyard? She had been tested for Lyme numerous times, but never for its co-infections. This doctor had just begun a new specialty of treating Lyme and its co-infections. She walked out of the office at exactly 12:30pm. on August 14, with the proper diagnosis, in her hometown of Brooklyn, not in Minnesota.
Two weeks later, the lab results confirmed what the doctor said, and she was able to begin treatment with the proper medications.
We must never give up, no matter how long it’s been. We have to keep trying, keep praying, and hope for Hashem’s salvation.