Ellen Geller Kamaras

We are raising our children in a rapidly evolving world, one very different than the world we grew up in. 

Children today are growing up with unrelenting pressures.  These may include academic pressure, and anxiety around popularity, friendships, and their appearance. Add to all that the anxiety they feel about what’s happening in the world around them, including violence, war, anti-Semitism, natural disasters, economic fluctuations, technological shifts, and an uncertain future. 

Our kids have been exposed through smartphones and social media to adult worries at younger ages.  How can we help our children deal with these stressors that can significantly affect their mental health?

Parents and caregivers need to be on alert to recognize and effectively address the behavioral and emotional issues that our children can develop. We need to help our children succeed and cope with these stressors and the uncertainty they absorb from adults and from social media. 

When change is the norm, adaptability and resilience are critical tools for survival and for strong mental health.  We need to work with our kids to develop their resiliency and agility muscles.

What Is Resilience? 

Resilience is the ability to cope with and to recover from setbacks and adversity, learning from obstacles, and adapting to continuous change. A resilient person has strong coping skills, can marshal their available resources, ask for help when needed, and find ways to manage the situation they are facing.

Parents cannot remove every source of anxiety from a child’s life.  Attempting this could prevent our kids from developing self-confidence and resilience.  The good news is that we can create a secure emotional foundation for themfrom which they can tackle difficult feelings, solve problems, and learn that uncertainty doesn’t have to control them.

Be mindful about what you say around your child. Research indicates that overheard adult topics can affect your child’s self-worth, sense of safety, and emotional well-being.  Kids are very sensitive to their parents’ facial expressions and body language, too.  Children can easily detect tension around finances, health, global issues, and more. 

Avoid talking about money problems and arguing in front of children.  These can create feelings of anxiety and insecurity.  Be careful not to make your kids responsible for your emotional health. Saying, “You are making me sick with worry,” makes your child feel responsible for protecting you. 

Start at Home

Kids need to feel safe and secure at home both physically and emotionally.  Feeling comfortable in one’s own skin means learning to love oneself and appreciate the special qualities that make you, you.

Ideally, we want our children to develop a secure attachment style.  A secure attachment style is created when a child feels confident that their caregiver will be able to provide comfort and safety in times of stress.  This trust continues as they age into adulthood, generally creating positive, close relationships.

Create a safe space where your kids can explore who they are, share their feelings, and discover what’s important to them.  Let them know they can discuss any issue, big or small, without feeling judged. If they share something that troubles you, take a breath and remember your commitment to ensure your kids do not feel judged if they share with you. Their feeling judged, or even a “look,” like a raised eyebrow or pursed lips, will discourage your kids from sharing with you.

Establish a stable home environment with structure, routine, and security.  Kids benefit from predictable schedules for meals, homework, bedtime, playdates, and family time.

Begin by Listening

Listening is often more helpful than offering advice. When parents listen rather than trying to solve their kids’ problems, they cultivate in their children higher self-esteem, stronger emotional development, and more effective problem-solving skills.  When our children express anxiety it may be tempting to rush in and reassure them with: “Everything will be fine,” or “You have nothing to worry about.”   However, these reactions may cause your kids to feel misunderstood.   Instead, acknowledge their feelings.  Doing so communicates to your child, “I hear you, and you don’t have to face this alone.”   

Encourage your child to share what they are feeling:   Listen calmly, avoid interrupting, and don’t turn every talk into a lesson.

Be a Positive Role Model

Parents, don’t pretend that you never feel anxious.  Show your kids how you deal with your own normal anxieties.  If your children see you managing stress in a healthy manner, they are likely to follow your lead.   For example: “I feel stressed about a huge work deadline.  I think a break would help.  Would you like to join me for a walk?”

Balance

Encourage your kids to not make school their sole focus and to explore other interests and hobbies as well.

Teach your kids positive study habits and give them organizational tools to keep them focused and to lower their anxiety.  Some children need creativity and others thrive on structure.  Break big assignments into smaller, more manageable chunks. This allows your children to build small wins with each completed section.

Teach your kids to set small goals, such as completing a worksheet. This provides a sense of accomplishment and fuels motivation.

Global Issues

Tailor your comments about current events to be age appropriate and appropriate for your own kids.   When you are stuck, you can say, “I don’t know the answer, but we could research it.” 

Limit your children’s media consumption of frightening news and adult conversations that might increase their anxiety Topics like death, trauma, or anti-Semitism are best heard about from parents.  When delving into these topics  ask your child what they have heard before offering explanations. And ask if your children have questions and how they feel about what has happened.

When we help our children navigate the present moment, we prepare them for a lifetime of unknowns.  Follow up to see if your kids have more questions and notice if they are having nightmares or are extra clingy. 

Social Media Influence

Social media embraces cyberbullying, negative comparisons with peers, and pressure to maintain a certain online image.   

Cyberbullying is when children use their cell phones or the internet to embarrass or scare other kids by posting humiliating photos on social media or by sending mean, abusive, or threatening direct messages. Another cyberbullying tactic is to intentionally exclude someone from online groups, chats, or multiplayer games.

If you discover that your child is being cyberbullied, help him to protect himself.  Document offensive messages, posts, or images by taking screenshots. Use platform settings to block and mute the person, restricting their ability to comment. Report the abuse using the UNICEF Cyberbullying Guide or through the application’s safety center. Ignoring cyberbullying and turning off your child’s phone might get the bully to stop, although most teens would not want to be separated from phone access, despite cyberbullying.   Speak to the bully’s parents and to the school administration.  

It’s natural for kids/teenagers to want to belong.  Social media increases this desire when it displays edited versions of other kids’ lives. Partner with your kids to establish reasonable boundaries.  Take breaks from social media sites that cause distress. Eat family meals without phones, and place cellphones outside of the bedroom overnight.   If parents adopt these rules, it will have a greater impact on their kids.

Explain to your children that popularity measures, like the number of followers or likes, do not determine their worth.   Shifting friendships and rejections are painful but your kids can survive.   Teach children to resolve conflicts, to communicate with friends by listening and articulating their feelings, and to practice empathy and kindness.

Technology

Technological advances have caused anxiety throughout history.   Fears about machines replacing human labor date back to the 19^th century.   The “Productivity Paradox” was explained by Nobel Prize-winning economist Robert Solow in 1987, which claims that it is a false belief that there is a finite amount of work to be done in any economy.

Machines may replace specific tasks, but they rarely eliminate entire occupations.  Instead, automation has historically increased productivity, decreased expenses, and caused massive demand, resulting in more jobs.

Artificial Intelligence, AI, in our daily lives creates anxiety.  Explain AI to kids in a simple and reassuring manner and ensure they use AI safely.   Clarify that AI is like a smart helper that can learn and make decisions and can assist us with tasks. Introduce kids to AI educational tools and games that clarify AI. 

Restore Healthier Childhoods

In the past decade, the rates of anxiety, depression, and self-harm have markedly increased among children and teenagers. In Jonathan Haidt’s book, The Anxious Generation,

he maintains “that this crisis stems from the shift toward phone-based childhoods and away from play-based ones.” 

Alone, scared, penniless, and on the run, Yaakov had no motel to check into when the sun set as he journeyed from his hometown of Be’er Sheva toward an uncertain future in Haran.  The best he could do was to assemble a few rocks to form a makeshift “bedroom” along the roadside and sleep there.

During the night, Gd appeared to him – for the first time in his life – and told him precisely what he needed to hear.  He assured Yaakov that he would be cared for during his journey and his time spent away from home, and, no less importantly, that he would return to his homeland.  Gd also promised Yaakov that he would inherit the covenant made with Avraham and Yitzhak, and produce a great nation that would inhabit the sacred Land of Israel.

But Yaakov did not simply hear Gd make these promises.  He beheld a famous and mysterious vision – a ladder extending from the ground to the heavens, with angels moving up and down it.

Clearly, this ladder carried some deep message.  If Gd chose to not simply speak to Yaakov, but also to show him this unusual sight, this clearly must have been a crucial part of the prophecy.  What was the sight of the ladder meant to convey?

Rashi famously explains that the angels ascending the ladder were the angels of the Land of Israel, who were now returning to the heavens.  As Yaakov was now leaving his homeland, and would be sojourning outside the land, the special angels that accompanied him in the land were no longer needed down here in our world.  The angels walking down the ladder were the angels of chutz la’aretz – the rest of the world – who were now arriving to assume the task of escorting and protecting Yaakov throughout his stay abroad.

Creating Advocates

The Tiferet Yisrael (Rabbi Yisrael Lipshitz, 1782-1860), one of the classic commentaries to the Mishnah, offers further insight into this dream.

In Pirkeh Avot (4:11), we learn that each time a person fulfills a mitzvah, he acquires a peraklit – “advocate.”  And each time he commits a sin, he acquires a kateigor – “prosecutor.”  The Mishnah here is teaching us that our actions have repercussions, mobilizing the angels, so-to-speak, either on our behalf or to our detriment.  Each time we do something good, an angel is appointed to defend us before the Heavenly Tribunal, whereas each time we act wrongly, we pave the way for the prosecutor to present a case against us.

On this basis, the Tiferet Yisrael explains the meaning of Yaakov’s dream.  Yaakov was shown that his actions can create angels that “ascend” to the heavens, or angels that “descend” to the ground.  Each person is given the choice whether to act in a “heavenly” manner, focusing his attention on spirituality and the service of Gd, or in an “earthly” manner, indulging in vanity and overindulgence in the physical and material delights of this world.

The Tiferet Yisrael adds that the Torah describes Gd as “standing over” Yaakov as he dreamt (“Vehineh Hashem nitzav alav” – Beresheet 28:13) – to teach that Gd watches and takes note of our choices.  He sees the “angels” that we create, whether we live our lives “heavenward,” directed toward Gd, or “downward,” focused on physical indulgence, and preoccupied with mundane pursuits.

But why was Yaakov shown this image specifically now, at this point in his life?  Is this message not relevant and crucial every day, and at every stage?  Why did Yaakov need to see this ladder now, as he journeyed to his uncle’s home?

The answer, the Tiferet Yisrael explains, is that Yaakov was now making a drastic transition.  Until this point, he lived with his righteous parents – Yitzchak and Rivkah – and devoted himself to Torah learning.  He is called a “yoshev ohalim – dweller of tents” (25:27), which is commonly understood as a reference to the study halls.  Even after leaving his home to flee from Esav, the Sages teach, Yaakov went to the yeshivah of Ever, spending fourteen years engrossed in intensive Torah study.  Now, his life was going to change dramatically.  He would be living with his corrupt, idol-worshipping uncle, and he would need to work to support his large family.  For the first time – and for an extended period of time – Yaakov would now face significant spiritual challenges.  He would be spending many years in an environment that hardly lent itself to religious devotion.  His morality and faith would be tested. 

Therefore, at this transitional moment, as Yaakov left the world of unbridled spirituality to a world of spiritual challenges, he was shown an image vividly depicting the choices he would have to make.  He was told that if he meets the challenge, he will create angels that will ascend to the heavens and advocate on his behalf.  But if not, he will create the opposite angels, who will prosecute against him.

The “Angels” of the Yeshiva, the “Angels” of the Workplace

The Tiferet Yisrael concludes his discussion by uncovering for us the deeper meaning of the two groups of angels described by Rashi.

When Rashi speaks of the angels accompanying Yaakov in Eretz Yisrael, he refers to the “mahashavot hakedoshot” – the “sacred thoughts” of the sacred land.  He refers to the sanctity of the land and of the environments in which Yaakov had spent his life until that point, the aura that naturally lent itself to spiritual devotion.  These “angels” were now departing; Yaakov would no longer have the benefit of the special sanctity of Eretz Yisrael, of his parents’ home, or of the yeshiva in which he studied.

He was now greeted by new “angels” – the “angels” of chutz la’aretz, of Lavan, of negative influences, of spiritual challenges.  His life of serenity was now being supplanted by a life of struggle, and the vision of the ladder was preparing Yaakov for this change.

We might say that this dream was a “peptalk” before Yaakov began this new chapter of his life.  Gd was telling him: “Until now you’ve had ‘angels’ pulling you up to the heavens, you lived in a holy environment under holy influences.  Now your life is changing.  You will now be exposed to ‘angels’ who will try to pull you down.  Be strong.  Keep growing.  Keep moving higher.  You will face difficult challenges – but you have the strength to overcome them and reach the heavens.”

This understanding of Yaakov’s dream resonates especially among those who have made the difficult transition from the world of yeshiva or kollel to the professional or business world.  In yeshiva, the choices, generally, were whether to learn with this havruta or that havruta; to learn this masechet or that masechet; to attend this shiur or that shiur; to focus more on practical halachah or on theoretical Talmudic study.  These are of course important decisions that students of Torah need to make.  But upon entering the workforce, or the business world, much larger decisions need to be made.  The individual must learn to maintain his unique religious identity and his commitment to his religious values while engaging all day with people with a much different identity and much different values.  He needs to be able to sacrifice opportunities for profits and advancement for the sake of his principles.  And he needs to carve out time from his busy schedule for prayer and Torah learning.   In yeshiva, his environment was pulling him up; now, there will be influences pulling him down, and – like Yaakov Avinu – he will need to resist those pressures to continue rising.

Ups & Downs

I also heard a different explanation of the meaning of Yaakov’s dream – one which very closely relates to everything we have seen until now.

A fellow once joined a group that I led on a trip to Israel, and during the trip, I succeeded in convincing him to begin observing Shabbat.  I spoke to him at length about the special sanctity of Shabbat, and the wonderful blessings granted to those who properly observe this day despite the sacrifices entailed.  While still in Israel, he called the manager of his store and told him to close the business on Shabbat.  The manager and the whole staff thought he had lost his mind, but he was adamant.

The reader probably expects the story to continue with some dramatic sequence of events that led to a tripling of his profits after he started observing Shabbat.  Well, I’m sorry to disappoint.

The very next week, the store burned down.

This should not surprise us – if we learn the lesson of Yaakov’s dream.

What Yaakov saw is the ladder of life – a constant series of ups and downs.  Nothing ever proceeds smoothly like we would want.  To the contrary – when we set out to do something great, like this fellow who made the heroic commitment to observe Shabbat, the Satan comes to interfere.  When we try to move upward, we are sometimes knocked down.  When we try to grow, we will face obstacles, and not always will we succeed right away.

Yaakov was told that life in Lavan’s home will not be easy.  He will not be able to climb upward unhindered.  He might slip and fall.  But the key is to not be discouraged, to believe in one’s ability to recover, to continue upward despite the setbacks, difficult and frequent as they may be.

Incidentally, that fellow whose store burned down didn’t rebuild his business.  He started working for his father-in-law and did very well.

This is the “ladder” of life.  No matter who a person is, he is going to fall on occasion.  The important thing is to start climbing and reach higher than he was before the fall.

May Hashem always help us in our quest to “climb,” to achieve, to grow, to serve Him with devotion – and when we fall, may He help us get back up and start climbing again, to even greater heights.

Sam A. Sutton

When my wife Nancy and I were still raising our young family, we watched a documentary about Denmark during the Holocaust depicting ordinary families who risked everything, their homes, their lives, and their children’s lives, to hide Jewish families and smuggle them to freedom. One story has never left me: a young Gentile man in the resistance accidentally discovering that his own father was secretly doing the same dangerous work. Neither had told the other. Each was willing to die rather than let fear stop them from saving a Jewish stranger’s child. 

I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Around that same time, we learned something that stung – Jewish children right here in New York were being removed from their homes by a New York City agency, sometimes in the middle of the night, to be placed in foster homes. If Ohel (Ohel Children’s Home and Family Services) could not find a Jewish home, children were placed anywhere. No one to say the Shema with them. No kosher food. No one who understood their fear. 

Around that time, Nancy and I lost a dear friend, Joseph D. Beyda. We didn’t want to honor him with a sueda or book in his memory. We wanted to honor him with our lives. We thought about those non-Jewish Danish families who risked everything for us. If they could risk their lives for our children, shouldn’t we try to help as well? 

In tribute to our dear late friend, and with the inspiration of the Jewish Danish resistance, we committed to be foster parents. Ohel screened us, trained us, and prepared us as best anyone could be prepared for what was coming. By 1998, we were certified foster parents. 

Sarah 

She was nine years old when she walked through our door. At dinner that first night, she began stuffing handfuls of dressed salad into her pockets. Later, she picked up a bookend and threw it at our dog. We sat there, stunned, trying not to react, trying to understand. 

Then we learned why. 

Sarah* owned nothing. Not a single toy. Not a book. Not one thing in the world that belonged only to her other than five well-worn outfits crammed into a small suitcase. She had special needs, a nine year old who functioned at a level of a five year old. Sarah was one of six children, four with special needs, born to parents who couldn’t care for themselves, let alone their children. A seven-year-old sister had been mothering the rest. When the state finally intervened, Sarah didn’t know one could feel secure. Stuffing food into her pockets wasn’t bad behavior. It was a nine year old remembering hunger. 

We told Ohel that we couldn’t handle what Sarah needed. She was placed with another family. Two weeks later, the phone rang again. Her foster parents would be away for a week. Could we care for Sarah until they returned? 

Sure – one week, no problem. That week became a month, then six months, then eighteen.

Our Daughter 

Sarah became family in every way. She stood beside our other children in the photos at my daughter Esther’s wedding. Nancy did homework with her. Evenings, if she saw me walking down the block, she ran to me the way a daughter runs to her father, arms out, face lit up, like I was the best part of her day. Summers and vacations together. Family.

I remember Nancy buying Sarah a Hello Kitty lunchbox once. Nothing special, a few dollars at most. Sarah held it like it was made of gold. It was the first thing, in nine years of life, that had ever truly belonged to her. I will never forget her face. 

Eighteen months later the call came. The city was reuniting her with her birth family. Then came words that cut like a knife, “You must sever all contact. No calls. No visits. She has to forget this life.” We had become her parents in every way but on paper. And then, in an instant, we were told to disappear. We subsequently fostered another 13 children for a few days, weeks or months, but we never forgot Sarah.  

Why I’m Asking You 

I’ve committed $2 million of public resources to Ohel, because they do Gd’s work. Ohel will utilize these funds to improve their infrastructure, an essential component in operating a successful organization. In addition to Ohel’s foster program, the only New York City agency licensed to place Jewish children in Jewish homes, Ohel does so much more.  Respite for families who have children with special needs. Social workers to visit isolated Holocaust survivors. The only Jewish residences for people with mental illness. And their amazing Camp Kaylie. 

It is Ohel’s foster program that touches my heart. My wife and I will never forget the impact Sarah had on our family. To be able to feed a hungry child, to comfort her when she cries, to hand her a lunchbox and watch her whole face light up, to be the first arms she has ever trusted is priceless. 

And only a family can provide those things. We grew more from the experience than we could ever have imagined.

Break out of your comfort zone! Right now, somewhere out there, is a Jewish child who needs exactly what Nancy and I found we had to give: a loving family, a warm smile, a pair of arms to hug a child. It’s not easy. It is hard and your heart might be broken at the end like ours was. But it might touch your neshama like nothing else you ever did.

Please, consider becoming a foster parent. There is a child waiting right now for a hug that only you can provide. 

* Sarah is a pseudonym. Her name and identifying details have been changed to protect her privacy.

Ronnies’s doctor was not alarmed. His blood pressure was somewhat high, and the advice was straightforward: lose some weight, start walking regularly, reduce the salt, and return in a few months.

“Rabbi,” Ronnie asked me, “I understand that if I were actually sick, I would have to follow medical advice. But right now, I feel perfectly fine. Is looking after my health before there is a problem really a halachic obligation, or is it simply good advice?”

We usually think about health in halacha once illness has already arrived. The Rambam begins much earlier. Halacha recognizes that the choices made while a person is still well can also matter.

The Rambam’s Principle

The Rambam writes: “Maintaining a healthy and sound body is among the ways of Hashem,” because when a person is ill, it is difficult for him to understand and know his Creator (Hilchot De’ot 4:1). The Rambam does not describe health merely as useful or desirable. He places caring for the body within darkei Hashem – the way a person serves Hashem.

The reason is not that physical health is itself life’s ultimate purpose. Rather, the body is the kli, the instrument, through which so much of avodat Hashem takes place. We learn Torah, pray, perform hesed, support our families, and fulfill mitzvot through the physical abilities Hashem has given us.

The Rambam therefore discusses health not only when something goes wrong, but also while the person is still functioning normally.

Prevention Begins with Ordinary Habits

The Rambam proceeds to discuss eating, physical activity, sleep, and other daily habits. Regarding exercise, his language is particularly strong. He writes that someone who remains sedentary and does not exercise can bring illness upon himself even if he otherwise eats properly (Hilchot De’ot 4:14).

The underlying principle is clear: one should not wait for illness before taking reasonable steps to preserve health. The Sefer Chassidim similarly describes the wise physician as one who warns people so that they should not become ill in the first place (Sefer Chassidim 592). Chazal also teach that a person should pray that he not become ill, rather than waiting until illness has already developed (Shabbat 32a).

Why Prevention Is Harder

There is an important difference between treatment and prevention. Illness creates urgency. If someone suffers a heart attack, nobody wonders whether seeing a cardiologist is worth the inconvenience. If a doctor says that fasting is dangerous, the question becomes immediate.

Prevention usually feels very different. A thirty-minute walk does not feel urgent. Going to sleep on time produces no dramatic result. Making a routine appointment can always seemingly wait another week. And when prevention succeeds, often nothing happens. There is no emergency, no hospital admission, and no dramatic story to tell. That is precisely what makes prevention difficult. It requires a quieter form of hishtadlut: taking reasonable action before circumstances force us to act.

Responsibility Does Not Mean Control

This principle must also be understood carefully. People who exercise, eat responsibly, and follow medical advice can still become ill. Genetics, aging, infection, and many other factors lie beyond human control. Nor may we look backwards at another person’s illness and assume that we know why it occurred. The Rambam’s approach is about responsibility, not blame. Halacha does not ask us to guarantee an outcome. It asks us to make reasonable choices with the information and opportunities Hashem has placed before us.

Conclusion

Returning to Ronnie, the fact that nothing hurts is not a reason to ignore reasonable medical advice. In one sense, that is precisely the stage the Rambam is addressing – before illness has forced the issue.

The Torah’s concern for health does not begin only with pikuach nefesh. Caring appropriately for the body can itself be part of avodat Hashem. We cannot control tomorrow’s diagnosis. But while the choice is still ours, we can care responsibly for the body, through which Hashem enables us to live a life of Torah, hesed, and mitzvot.

Rabbi Yehuda Finchas is a worldwide expert, lecturer, and author on Medical Halacha. He heads the Torat Habayit Medical Halacha Institute. He is the author of Brain Death in Halacha and the Tower of Babel Syndrome and his latest book is Nutrition and Hydration in Halacha. To contact Rabbi Finchas, email [email protected].

An Interview with Noa Tal on Confronting Ancient Hatred in a Digital Age

Dave Gordon

When slogans can travel farther and faster than facts, knowing Israel’s history is critical. It is a defense against letting others define the Jewish story. Understanding the conflict – and recognizing when criticism becomes something older and more sinister – requires more than outrage. It requires information, context, and the confidence to ask: Where is the evidence?

Noa Tal tackles this task in Seeds of Subversion: The Modern Weaponization of Ancient Jew Hatred, published by Entrechat Press. Her argument: anti-Semitism is not merely resurfacing. It is being used to exploit classrooms, newsrooms, and digital platforms to turn hostility toward Jews into a weapon against democratic societies.

An Israeli-American technology and corporate lawyer in Silicon Valley, Tal is the granddaughter of Holocaust survivors and the daughter of Iraqi Jews who fled persecution. She believed that inheritance belonged largely to the past – until October 7th, and an encounter in her own community shattered that assurance.

Tal spoke about that awakening, the audience she hopes to reach, and why protecting the integrity of information is everybody’s concern.

The interview has been condensed and edited for length and clarity.

What made you want to write the book?

Despite being a granddaughter of Holocaust survivors and a daughter of people who had to flee persecution in Iraq, I felt insulated. We thought history didn’t apply to us, that America was different or people were more enlightened now.

Ten days after October 7th, there was a multifaith prayer event for Palestine and Israel where my child’s school rented space. Accusations of genocide and apartheid, and even blaming Israel for George Floyd, were being thrown at Israel and the Jewish community before the IDF had even gone into Gaza.

My husband and I were shocked. Our neighbors were nodding along. Nobody was asking: How do you know that what you’re saying is true? Do you have evidence?

That made me want to research how we got here. How had these people become convinced? What had been going wrong for a long time, and how had it spread?

Was the reaction in the West a separate awakening from October 7th itself?

Yes. October 7th was unspeakably horrible. We thought Israel’s defenses were stronger. Everybody had been lulled into a false sense of complacency.

But the wake-up call for writing the book was Westerners’ reaction. I think we expected solidarity and sympathy, a rallying cry, and we got the opposite.

Who are you trying to reach?

Ideally, young Jews, but also professors, anybody involved in education, and allies.

It’s not just a book about anti-Semitism. It’s about its weaponization after October 7th. I understood that anti-Semitism existed. I didn’t understand the extent to which it was being purposely pumped into education and legacy media, and amplified through social media.

The book is supposed to empower readers to do three things: rebut anti-Jewish libels from a Jewish perspective; understand how and why those libels are being weaponized; and advocate for the integrity of our information systems.

My argument is that this is being used to destabilize the larger West. It’s not just a problem for Jews.

How do you distinguish political criticism from anti-Semitism?

We’re told this is fundamentally a political conversation: “We’re not criticizing Jews; we’re criticizing the secular government of Israel or Benjamin Netanyahu.”

But these conversations often don’t look like discussions about politics or how to run a war. They’re not comparing Israel’s military with other Western militaries and figuring out how it could operate better. They’re full of religious undertones: accusations that Jews enjoy killing children, or that Jews adhere to a vengeful morality.

Those accusations say something much more sinister than their proponents would have you believe. We shouldn’t allow ourselves to be told that this is merely a conversation about land or politics.

Why would authoritarian leaders find anti-Semitism useful?

I don’t believe they necessarily harbor the illusion that Jews run the world. They know very well that they run it – or want to. But they can use anti-Semitism to destabilize our democracies.

Russia, the largest country in the world, is engaged in recreating its empire. Yet it can deflect outrage and attention by accusing one of the smallest countries, Israel, of expansionism. It’s almost laughable how obvious it is when you recognize it, but it works for them.

What did you learn from Shabbos Kestenbaum, who added commentary to the book?

He had to deal with a lot at Harvard and was willing to stand up publicly and sue. It’s hard to put yourself out there. What I learned is that you have to be pretty tough as a young Jew these days.

He is far from the only one. Once you start talking to parents, students, and Jewish community organizers who help families, you hear so many cases of how the biased curriculum we discuss has real-life consequences.

It isn’t simply a matter of enduring a curriculum. Students describe harassment and discrimination: threats, being barred from areas of campus, noise outside their rooms that stops them sleeping and studying.

When those things happen, you have to stand up and fight with all legal means. That’s what he did.

What about the commentary added by urban-warfare specialist Col. John Spencer?

What I most admire is his commitment to the truth. He isn’t Jewish or Israeli, but he recognizes that he has a stake in this: if the United States and other democracies hope to win wars, we need realistic standards for fighting them.

We can’t expect soldiers to have perfect information at all times, never make a mistake, or never cause collateral damage when undertaking dangerous missions in extremely difficult circumstances.

Urban warfare is incredibly difficult. Spencer has fought in it himself and studied others fighting in complex situations. Unless we’re going to capitulate, we need realistic standards, applied consistently to everybody.

How does technology change the problem?

The most toxic messages can now spread throughout the globe in milliseconds. Propaganda existed before, but those messages took time to spread.

The adversaries of Jews – and of the West and democracies generally – are exploiting technology to spread these messages inorganically, virally, and very fast. Much of the book’s second part is devoted to that.

We have to understand what is happening to our information systems, including education, social media, and crowdsourced knowledge bases such as Wikipedia and Reddit. Recognizing the problem is part of being able to advocate for their integrity.

Illuminating Lessons from Hanukah:

Inbal Elhayani

Let’s look at how the Maccabees teach us to face crisis, embrace pain, and ignite inner light.

A deep look into the message of Hanukah allows us to shed much of what we thought we understood about the darker moments of life.

Encountering a dark, crisis-filled reality is always perceived by our senses as threatening. Since childhood, we’ve feared sleeping alone in the dark. We carry the sense that we don’t truly have the tools to deal with the crises that shake our routine.

In Times of Darkness

Our experiences in times of darkness etch themselves into our consciousness so that future encounters with crisis become even harder. During moments when we need the most support, we often found ourselves alone, without human resources or inner abilities. After many failed attempts to deal with such darkness, we may give up. When darkness returns, we are overwhelmed with memories of helplessness and fear.

We’ve learned to fear the dark, to flee from it, or to freeze before it. However, this avoidance never truly allows us to meet the darkness face to face. As strange as it may sound, we lose out because of that missed encounter.

Light Concealed in Darkness

In painful and difficult experiences lies life energy, wisdom, and a hidden light waiting to be revealed.

The Maccabees weren’t frightened by the outer darkness, because they held the deep understanding that darkness conceals a great light – one that is merely hidden for now.

This insight prevented them from panicking, fleeing the darkness, standing paralyzed, or weeping before it. Instead, the darkness inspired them to search harder for the light, to find it, and to ignite it.

Facing pain or a “dark” situation must come with the understanding that it is an invitation to awaken dormant parts within us and shine light into them. When we light our inner flame and bring light into our home, it inevitably radiates outward too.

This understanding isn’t swayed by crisis or gloom, but empowers me to face it head-on, to bring curiosity into it, to observe it, and to learn the unique lesson it holds for me.

Light a Flame

It’s not easy to light a flame when everything around us feels dark, and all that once felt safe and familiar has disappeared. But it is precisely in that darkness, when we are reminded that it’s only temporary and external, and that we can uncover a hidden brilliance and awaken it from within.

The Maccabees did not set out to win. They set out to fight – to not surrender to the darkness – because they knew it was not the full picture, and that its power came from a higher reality. They searched for the light within the darkness, and they found it.

Those who hold onto that insight do not just find the light, but they become the ones who light it. Every menorah lit since then is the legacy of that first light in the Temple, carrying an eternal message: from darkness, light always emerges.

In every difficult or unclear moment, we are given a choice – to cry and snuff the light out, or to ignite it and find the spark it offers. The Maccabees chose to light. They chose to illuminate, even when nothing could be seen.

They engraved that message into history, so that every Hanukah candle lit since is the fruit of that first ignition.