Frieda Schweky

Regular readers of my columns here know that I normally cover light community topics. This month, however, I decided to share the thrilling story of my uncle’s escape from Iran.

Allow me to begin with some family background.

A Peaceful Country Devolves Into Chaos

My father, Amin – known in the community as Danny – grew up in Iran, and has fond memories of his childhood. Prior to the 1979 Iranian Revolution, Iran was a modern country, and my father loved it there. I grew up hearing amazing stories about his upbringing. Unfortunately, he never got to give it the proper goodbye.

It was common back then for Iranian youths to go abroad for high school, and so my father was in Brookyln when the radical Islamists took over Iran in 1979. (My Uncle Benny was also studying abroad, in France.) He was thus spared the turmoil that ensued with the Mullahs’ takeover. Needless to say, he has been unable to return ever since.

Stuck in Brooklyn, he was brought up in the Syrian community. To this day, my father is the only member of his family without a Persian accent, although of course he still speaks Farsi fluently. It was here in Brookyln that he met my mother, an immigrant from Egypt (her family was ousted from their home country, as well, but that’s a story for another time…). They got married before my grandparents were able to escape Iran, and so, unfortunately, my grandparents could not meet my mom or attend the wedding.

But the story I wish to tell is that of my uncle, Sean Sabz. Born in Tehran, Iran’s capital city, in 1969, Sean led a normal life during his early years. He attended Hebrew school, spent a great

deal of time playing outside, and would do mischief with his three older brothers whenever he pleased. When he was nine years old, however, everything quickly changed.

A Muslim extremist group began overtaking what was a peaceful country. Their unambiguously-stated goal was to oust Iran’s leader, Shah Pahlavi, and replace him with the rule of the Islamist figure Ayatollah Khomeini. Chaos erupted. Sean recalls hearing gunshots and extremists screaming, “Allahu Akbar” (“Gd is the greatest,” the cry sounded by jihadists as they set out to kill in the name of their religion) outside his house for many nights. The rebels were determined in pursing their cause, and were violent. Iran’s Jewish population knew they faced grave danger, and many fled, leaving behind everything they had built over the course of their lives.

The Shah, meanwhile, announced he had fallen sick with cancer, and went to Egypt for treatment, allowing Iran to fall into the hands of the violent, fanatical rebels while he escaped.

Escape Through the Mountains

After the revolution, life drastically changed. All schools in Iran – including the Jewish schools – were temporary closed, as the new government replaced educators with radical Islamists. Schools were no longer permitted to serve both boys and girls. Jewish subjects were no longer allowed to be taught. Women and girls were required to wear hijabs in public, no matter which religion they practiced. All these new laws were enforced at the threat of death.

Sean’s parents had a lot to sort out before trying to escape, but their son, Afsheen – now known as Alfred – turned 17, which meant that if he did not flee immediately, he would be drafted into the new governing authority’s army.

Sean’s parents devised a plan, hiring drug smugglers to secretly bring Sean and Alfred out of the country, for $1,000 each. The boys were joined by two other Jewish teens, a boy and a girl.

This trip was very dangerous, and Sean personally knew of someone who died while trying to escape along this route. The plan was to travel by foot through the mountains of northern Iran to Turkey, sleeping by day in caves and journeying by night. The nights were so brutal and exhausting that by the time they were able to stop, they had no trouble at all sleeping in caves.

“One could even mistake a rock for a pillow,” Sean says.

Members of the Kurdish population, who opposed the Islamist rebels, were hiding in the mountains, and they happily fed and helped Sean and his fellow travelers for a small fee. Sean quickly learned about the Kurdish people’s unusual traditions. For example, as long as your cup was upright, that meant you wanted more tea, and when you flipped your cup upside down, that meant you’ve had enough. Sean recalls the mountain people feeding him shakshuka with a thick layer of fat on top.

“Hiking up and around mountains took a lot of energy, and for that we needed to load up on calories,” Sean says of his exhausting experience.

The smugglers were surprised by Sean and his brother’s demeanor. They had grown accustomed to smuggling scared and crying children, but the Sabz’s were just the opposite, making jokes and playing around at times along the way, despite the grueling ordeal they were going through.

“We would have to run at night,” Sean tells. “At some points, we were even riding on horses with people chasing after us and bullets flying, like in an action movie.”

When they finally made it to the Iranian Turkish border, Sean and his group were interrogated separately by the Iranian border patrol. The smugglers prepared them for this, and all their stories matched up perfectly. The story was that they were going on vacation to Turkey and fully intended to return to Iran. The group was granted passage and accepted into Turkey as refugees, because at that time, the United Nations was paying the Turkish government $1,000 for each Iranian they helped.

A Family Reunited at Last

Sean and Alfred spent two months in Turkey with limited contact with their parents, awaiting paperwork for their transfer to Israel. They eventually entered Israel on tourist visas and spent the next four years at Hadasim, a Yeshiva with dormitory facilities. Their next destination would be New York.

When the brothers arrived in Brooklyn, they met their newborn nephew, Joey – also known as Poe – my oldest brother, who had been born just 18 days before their arrival. By this time, their mother Turan (who later chose the name Rachel), my late grandmother, had already established herself in Brooklyn. However, their father – my grandfather Yoseph (who B”H celebrated his 90th birthday this past December) – remained trapped in Iran, due to false accusations. His Muslim business partner had betrayed him, reporting him to authorities as a dishonest Jewish businessman.

During the lengthy court proceedings, officials offered him freedom on one condition – that he sign a document declaring his conversion to Islam. Though not particularly religious, my grandfather responded with remarkable courage: “You can call me whatever you want, but I am a Jew, I have Jewish blood.” Over time, the court officials came to recognize his integrity and eventually granted his release. This story fills me with pride as his granddaughter (which is why I felt it important to mention, despite the deviation from my uncle’s story).

After his release, Yoseph managed to escape Iran and reunite with his family in America, though at great cost – leaving behind his home and business, and having endured years of separation from his loved ones.

Sean’s parents later relocated to Great Neck, Long Island, joining a growing community of Jewish Iranian (also known as Persian) immigrants. Sean has divided his time between Los Angeles and New York over the years. His recent travels included a business exploration trip to Cuba, and he currently works as a contractor in Los Angeles.

Today, Sean cherishes time spent with his family, including his great-nieces and nephews. He and his family make a conscious effort to exercise the freedoms and rights they nearly lost years ago – a powerful reminder of their journey and resilience.

Rabbi Zamir Cohen

The nature and meaning of dreams have fueled the imaginations of modern scientists no less than they challenged the thinkers of the ancient world.

What is a dream and where does it come from?

Do dreams contain hidden messages?

Is there a use for the good or bad information that appears in a dream, or is a dream merely a kind of illusion unworthy of serious reflection?

A survey of the science’s approach to dreams reveals an incremental change that has taken place over the years.

Only 120 years ago, the intellectual community scoffed at the idea that dreams were worthy of serious study, deeming them mental illusions that carried no deep significance.

All this changed with the arrival of Sigmund Freud (1856-1939), the central figure in a movement teaching that dreams are key elements for revealing the deep motivations and obstacles buried in the human soul. Freud claimed that when a person is awake, his or her consciousness serves as a kind of gatekeeper, filtering out some of the richest voices of the soul. During sleep, the “censorship” of the waking consciousness no longer controls the swirling pool of the subconscious, and the mind is flooded with all variety of messages, ideas, and desires normally buried in the furthest recesses of the soul.

But what about the supernatural element of dreams? Freud addressed this question, too, rejecting the notion entirely. In the conclusion to his book, The Interpretation of Dreams, Freud wrote that the idea that a dream could reveal anything about the future was worthless.

Futuristic Insights

However, in the decades since the publication of Freud’s work on dreams, scientific researchers have collected testimonials, evidence, and data demonstrating that dreams can actually provide knowledge of the future. This evidence, verified by careful and precise tests, has forced scientists to reject Freud’s stance on the value of dreams as a source of insight into future events – even while many researchers still remain baffled about the essence of dreams and their interpretations.

Professor Yaakov Bazak, a noted Israeli judge and legal scholar, wrote the following lines in his book Beyond the Senses, after his own experiences confirming the power of dreams:

Taking into account the minute details that came true, it is extremely difficult to explain the actualization of dreams as mere coincidence. Anyone willing to approach this topic without preconceptions must admit – at the very least – that the relationship between dreams and the future deserves serious scientific study. It is simply not logical to claim that there is no basis whatsoever for the power of dreams to relay information about future events. It is true that some dreams can be explained as the result of subconscious reflections on events that happened in reality. In other cases the element of telepathy must be considered. Some dreams really are the result of “sheer coincidence.” But after all is said and done, one cannot deny those dreams that do carry solid evidence of predicting the future and cannot be explained by any of the approaches listed above. Unfortunately, we must continue to wait patiently for scientific tools capable of investigating the prophetic foundation of dreams.

While there is certainly no universal agreement among contemporary scientists concerning the ability of dreams to predict the future, some researchers have indeed concluded that the phenomenon exists, with England leading the international community in this field. Among the most notable examples occurred in 1966, when many people had dreams predicting a disaster in Aberfan, Wales, a small village where a mountain of coal slag collapsed over a school, burying 144 people.

As a result of this incident, a British institute was launched with the expressed purpose of researching the possibility that dreams can predict disasters. Today, a number of similar private institutes – often staffed by volunteers – have taken on similar projects worldwide, gathering data and personal testimonials on the topic. Even though this area of research is still new, the amount of available data has grown dramatically in recent years.

The Torah’s View

Does the Torah completely ignore dreams, as did many scientists of the past? Does it regard dreams as a purely psychological phenomenon, as did Freud? Are we fated to remain in the dark about the concept of predictions through dreams, just like so many researchers of our generation?

Not surprisingly, the Torah sages were far ahead of scientists of the past, Freud, and today’s scientists. A clear understanding of the Torah’s approach to dreams eliminates the confusion surrounding the topic, and answers all the major questions in the field, one by one.

Before we cite teachings of the sages on dreams, let us first briefly consider the phenomenon of sleep in general. Only after gaining an understanding of the various elements and reasons for sleep can we suggest an approach to understanding the nature and power of dreams.

The Torah knew thousands of years ago what science has only discovered recently. Namely, that the true “I” of each of us is an internal, spiritual being wrapped in a material, physical exterior composed of flesh and bones. Just like clothing cannot move without a person wearing it, the human body cannot live and function in the world without this interior, spiritual essence. After hundreds of years of denial and doubt – and thanks to new research in the field of near-death experiences – even noted scientists now understand that death is not the end. Rather, it is the release of the true, spiritual person from the bonds of the material, temporal clothing of the body sewn together from transitory flesh and bones.

What is Sleep?

A sleeping person lies in an unconscious state – almost like death. He does not receive information from his environment or maintain any awareness of what takes place around him. Yet, he still breathes and can be reawakened. Thus, he is not really dead, but neither is he truly living. The Talmud therefore states, “Sleep is 1/60th of death.” In other words, the process and the circumstances of sleep are very similar to those of death, though only to a small extent. To put it another way, we can say that there is a separation of the soul from the body during sleep similar to the separation that takes place at the time of death. If this is true, how does a human being continue to breathe while sleeping and then “wake up alive” afterwards?

The Ramchal (Rabbi Moshe Haim Luzzato), a great Kabbalist, writes in his book Derech Hashem (3:1) that the soul is comprised of five parts: nefesh, ruah, neshamah, hayah, and yehidah. Some of these parts leave the body during sleep, which accounts for the deep rest experienced, but others remain, ensuring that basic bodily functions continue. This is why sleep is considered 1/60th of death.

Death separates the soul from the body completely – each and every one of these parts of the soul – and the body moves fully from a living state to a dead one. By contrast, a sleeping person can still live and breathe, despite the unconscious state brought on by the departure of some parts of the soul. These parts return to the body at the conclusion of the required hours of sleep, or as a result of a sudden arousal, such as when a sleeping person hears his name called or hears a harsh, sudden noise. Then his soul returns to the body in a flurry. This is often marked by the deep breath people take before opening their eyes.

The Benefits of Sleep

The Kabbalists taught that flesh, like any inanimate object, does not require sleep. However, in order for a person’s soul to function properly, it must occasionally receive sustenance from its supernal source – much like a battery occasionally needs to be recharged. If this source would “charge” the soul while the person is awake, the person would be unable to withstand the power, and would collapse, We might draw an analogy to a strong electrical charge flowing through a fuse, or boiling water suddenly being poured into a thin crystal glass. The fuse would burn out and the glass would shatter. For this reason, the soul must separate itself from the body when it is to be “recharged,” leaving behind the “nefesh” portion to ensure that the body continues to function.

This is the meaning of the verse, “In Your hand I will place my spirit [ruah]” (Tehillim 21:6). A person’s “ruah” leaves him at night, but not the “nefesh,” as its departure would cause death.

Sleep, then, is a process of spiritual replenishment. After the soul receives its bounty of energy as required, it returns to the body to recharge and refuel it so that it can awaken like new. This, too, is the deep meaning of the verse, “New in the mornings, your faith is great” (Echah 3:23). This is also the reason why a person goes to sleep tired and awakens refreshed. The physical body does not experience sensations such as “refreshed,” “tired,” “sleepy,” or “awake.” These terms refer only to the soul – the spiritual being.

(These concepts are developed at length in the writings of the Arizal – Sha’ar Hahakdamot, Derash 3.)

What is a Dream?

Here, as in many other instances, the sages have masterfully condensed a tremendous amount of knowledge into several pithy phrases. We will begin with several Biblical verses and Talmudic statements, and then proceed to explore the deeper meaning of these passages through the teachings of the Ramchal.

The prophet Zecharya (10:2) declares, “False dreams comfort in vain.” And in the Book of Iyov (23:15-16) we read, “In the dream of a night vision…people’s ears will hear.”

The Talmud (Berachot) states, “A dream is 1/60th of prophecy,” but also teaches:

“Just as there cannot be wheat without straw, similarly, there cannot be a dream without some nonsense. A person who dreams sees the reflections of his heart, as it says: ‘You are the King and your thoughts rise up when you lie down’ (Daniel 2:29).”

As discussed earlier, sleep results from the departure of certain parts of the soul from the body. The body continues to function through the soul remaining within it, though it lacks to ability to stand, walk, listen, or understand. Note that our ability to stand erect while awake is due to the soul’s “support” of the physical body allowing it to resist the pull of gravity. When the soul departs at the moment of death, the body loses its ability to withstand the force of gravity, and thus falls to the ground. This is the reason why a dead body weighs a little more than it did during life. As the Talmud says: “A living thing holds itself [up].”

The parts of the soul that separate from the body during sleep – ruah, neshamah, hayah, and yehidah – are the higher and purer forms of the soul. These are also the parts that perform higher functions when one is awake, such as concentration, the retrieval and analysis of information from the brain’s memory banks, decision making, the ability to draw conclusions, emotions, and more.

The lower part of the soul – nefesh – controls breathing, imagination, and other “simple” actions. This part of the soul remains in the body during sleep, as reflected in the continued activity of the respiratory system and the imagination. This is why in a dream a person can see himself in faraway places that he had wished to visit, or winning long coveted prizes, or even witnessing a disaster from which he harbors hidden fears while awake.

A Divine Gift

Sleep is a gift from Hashem that allows us to release our tensions and fears, as well as to recall our hopes and desires – precisely during a period of rest, when we gather strength to awake renewed for a new day. (The physical body itself has absolutely no connection to thought, imagination, or the like. Only the parts of the soul listed above, which are stationed in the body, create the sensation that certain parts of the body can think or feel.)

Concerning these types of dreams, the verse says, “False dreams comfort in vain!” Such dreams have no real meaning and are only a means to release various tensions and fears that have accumulated during the day, saving the person from collapse. They teach us about a person’s inner world: What troubles the person? What frightens him? Where does he or she wish to go? What are his or her desires and hopes? And so on.

However, there is also another kind of dream, one which connects to deeper spiritual elements, and which, if they could be seen, would fill the earth with visions of uncontrollable forces beyond description.

When people are awake and all parts of the soul are grounded in the body and the material realm, the connection with spiritual entities is naturally blocked from normal awareness. However, during sleep, when the body is in some sense “dead” due to departure of the highest components of the soul, these detached parts of the soul are free to encounter other, similar spiritual beings, and receive from them information that they are otherwise unable to access, including facts about what will happen in the future.

Partial Prophecy

This information flows directly into the spiritual element that remains in the body during sleep, appearing in the form of dreams. This is why a person can awake with knowledge of the future. About dreams such as these our sages have said, “A dream is 1/60th of prophecy.” However, an ordinary person, who lacks the pure mind and spirit of a prophet, does not grasp a high level of spirituality. Thus, the Sages have said, “There is no dream without some nonsense.” In other words, even a truthful dream has elements of base human hopes and fears mixed within it, for these continue to operate even as spiritual information flows to the sleeping individual.

The Kabbalah also teaches that the purpose of a bad dream, which predicts dire events, is to give us the opportunity to actually alter the negative decree. By changing our behavior and aligning ourselves with the will of our Creator, we are able to change the future. If a person did not have a chance to preempt the evil occurrence through proper behavior, Hashem would not have sent the dream in the first place.

As noted, the Torah’s knowledge of the nature and meaning of dreams preceded Freud by thousands of years. Even science is now following the Torah’s lead, as the scientific community has little doubt that some dreams do foretell the future – though science itself does not know how to handle or explain this fact. As an example of the scientific community’s confusion concerning the nature of dream, we repeat Professor Yaakov Bazak’s words cited earlier: “Unfortunately, we must continue to wait patiently for scientific tools with the ability to investigate the prophetic foundations of dreams.”

The Creator of the world, however, who knows all the mysteries of His creation, revealed this secret in the Torah, along with the entire compendium of Divine teachings meant for us to use in a proper, helpful, and healthy way.

Rabbi David Sutton & Dr. David Katzenstein, LCSW-R

Rav Wolbe (Alei Shur, Vol. II, p. 186) explains that one of the most powerful forces of the yetzer hara is the power to rebel, as can be seen from the Gemara (Sanhedrin 91b):

Antoninus, the Roman emperor, asked Rabbi Yehudah HaNasi, “At what point does the yetzer hara begin to rule over a person? Is it from the time of conception, or from the time of birth?”

Rabbi Yehudah HaNasi said it is from the time of conception.

Antoninus disagreed. “If that were the case, the yetzer hara would cause the fetus to kick its way out of the womb! So it must be that the yetzer hara begins to rule over a person from the moment of birth, not before.”

Rabbi Yehudah conceded to his logic.

What kind of craziness is that? How can a fetus kick its way out of the womb before it is fully formed? It would be like a dead fish on the floor!

The Power of Rebellion

Rav Wolbe explains that the yetzer hara says, “I don’t want to be in a locked place like this! Get me out of here,” to the point of suicide. The yetzer hara cannot be under someone else’s jurisdiction. It has to be on its own. That is the koach meridah, the power of rebellion. It is this force that gets us into trouble.

Sometimes, good people start working on themselves, but instead of making steady strides, their efforts backfire and they stop, or they even decline. For example, a young yeshivah boy accepts upon himself a taanit dibbur, a fast from speech. He is not going to utter any superfluous speech all day. What happens the next day? He speaks twice as much lashon hara than on a normal day. What happened?

The young man did not deal with his desire to speak lashon hara. He merely tried to suppress it and push it down, which aroused a force of rebellion from inside of him. The boy may not have felt that force at first; he was very happy with his new commitment, with his taanit dibbur. But

the next day, it surfaced. Rav Eliyahu Dessler compares this to a spring. You can keep pushing a spring down, down, down, but as soon as you let go: BOING! – it bounces back.

Three Key Strategies

Accepting that our desires are natural, while also recognizing our capacity for discipline, involves several key strategies:

The first strategy is understanding why we have those desires. This can be accomplished through self-reflection. Taking the time to reflect on our values, priorities, and motivations can help us to understand why we have certain desires, and makes it easier to stay disciplined when those desires conflict with our long-term goals.

The next strategy is becoming mindful of our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, so that we are more aware when we are being driven by desire, and can make conscious decisions about how to respond.

The last strategy is to set clear expectations and goals that are connected to a well-defined purpose. A clear goal can give us the motivation to stay disciplined and reign in our desires.

Also quoting the spring theory, the Siftei Chaim states that when a person is working on guarding his eyes, he should not keep yelling at himself, “Don’t look! Don’t look! Don’t look!” because that has the power to backfire.

As soon as he lets go, his resolve will dissipate and his desire will spring right back.

TAKEAWAY:

The Siftei Chaim promotes a positive approach: to appreciate the opportunity to guard your eyes, and the merit you will gain when you do. In this way, you are not fighting against your yetzer hara, and thereby not activating the renegade within you.

Rabbi Ephraim Nisenbaum

The 15th day of Shevat, Tu B’Shvat, is called the New Year for Trees. Strictly speaking, this title draws a legal distinction related to the laws of tithing in the Land of Israel. Tithes must be separated from any produce grown in Israel before it may be eaten. In a given year, the fruit taken as tithe from one tree may represent the owner’s other trees of the same species. However, one year’s fruit may not be tithed for another year’s harvest.

Tradition teaches the new year for fruit begins on the fifteenth of Shevat, because most of the winter rains will have passed and the sap of the new growth has begun to flow: the dormant tree is waking from its winter sleep. A tree that blossoms before Tu B’Shvat is considered last year’s produce; if it blossoms after Tu B’Shvat, it belongs to the new year.

Other than the day’s significance for tithing, there is no source in the Talmud or Midrash for celebrating Tu B’Shvat. Yet, from later sources we find many customs regarding the celebration of Tu B’Shvat: the practice of eating various fruits, the custom of dressing in one’s Shabbat finery for the New Year for Trees, because the Torah compares the human being to a tree (Devarim 20:19).

Let us examine the comparison between man and trees in order to understand the message on Tu B’Shvat for humankind.

The tree goes through cycles in its life. The heavy-laden tree of summer empties itself of fruit in the autumn, and then slowly loses its leaves, one by one. By wintertime, the tree stands shorn of its previous glory. For all purposes, it appears to have died.

But then comes Tu B’Shvat. In the midst of the cold winter days, when all vegetation seems frozen or dead, the sap of the tree starts to flow beneath the surface bark. Rising slowly from roots buried in the hardened soil, the sap pushes its way up, pumping new life into outstretched branches that reach towards the heavens.

In life, we too often go through cycles of growth. Periods of renewal and growth may alternate with times of stagnation or dormancy. Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe cites that this cycle is part of man’s nature. He adds that a person must not become disillusioned when spiritual growth seems halted; the “low” period will usually be followed by a “high” period that will yield new opportunities for growth.

That is the message of Tu B’Shvat: Even when we feel lethargic, in a rut, and seem to have lost the drive to achieve, we must not despair. Just as winter is an annual hiatus in the life cycle of trees, so bouts of lethargy and unproductivity are necessary phases in the human cycle. Just as with the coming of spring, life-giving sap moves imperceptibly through the trees to branches stretching to the sky, so we too will have renewed energy from deep within our spiritual reservoirs, so long as we set our goal heavenward.

Proper Care and Maintenance Required

There is another message in the New Year for Trees. There is a difference between trees and annual plants. Although trees require some regular maintenance, they produce fruit each year without any new planting. Plants and vegetables, on the other hand, must be reseeded each year in order to grow.

If a tree is not given proper care, however, it will die. Man is like the tree. With good maintenance, we need not start over from the very beginning with each goal we set for ourselves. We can build on past accomplishments to go even further. But, as with the tree, we require the proper care to avoid spiritual damage and to grow anew.

Tu B’Shvat inspires us to remember our similarity to the tree. We must be careful to protect ourselves, in order to strive towards greater achievements without having to constantly start over again from scratch.

Rabbi Ephraim Nisenbaum is the author of Powerlines: Insights and Reflections on the Jewish Holidays, published by Targum Press. He is also the founder and director of the Jewish Learning Connection, an outreach organization in Cleveland, Ohio.

Rabbi Yehuda Finchas

Rabbi, I went to Rabbi Goldberg’s shiur, and he mentioned that whenever possible, pikuach nefesh (saving a life) on Shabbat should be done with a shinui (a modification of the usual practice) or by a non-Jew. If so, why are Hatzalah members Jewish? Is this correct for Sephardim as well?

The Principle of Pikuach Nefesh

Pikuach nefesh is a fundamental principle in Judaism, emphasizing the sanctity of human life. It means the “safeguarding of life” and underscores the importance of protecting life above all else, even at the expense of overriding all other mitzvot, with the sole exception of the three cardinal sins of murder, idolatry, and adultery.

Practically, this means that when someone’s life is in danger, it is not only permissible but obligatory to violate halacha if necessary to save their life. For example, if a person suddenly falls ill on Shabbat, we are obligated to provide lifesaving medical treatment, call an ambulance, or drive to the hospital, even though these actions would otherwise be forbidden.

Shulchan Aruch and the Rema: A Difference of Opinion

The Shulchan Aruch and the Rema disagree on whether it is ideal to perform pikuach nefesh actions with either a shinui or through a non-Jew, as long as it does not cause a delay in treatment. The Shulchan Aruch (O.C. 328:12) rules that when desecrating Shabbat for a choleh she-yesh bo sakana (a person whose life is in danger), one should try to have a Jewish adult perform the action, rather than a non-Jew. The Rema adds that if it is possible to do so without delay with a shinui, it should be done that way. If a non-Jew can perform the action without causing a delay, then a non-Jew should do it. However, if there is concern that the non-Jew might delay, it is better not to have a non-Jew perform the action.

In contrast, when it comes to a yoledet (a woman in labor), the Shulchan Aruch and the Rema agree that a shinui should be employed whenever possible. I will explain why in more detail in the next edition.

Sephardic Practice: Hacham Ovadia and Hacham Benzion

Hacham Ovadia, zt”l, (Hazon Ovadya, Shabbat Vol. 3, p. 281) follows the Shulchan Aruch position and rules that a Jewish adult should perform pikuach nefesh, as there is concern that if you seek a non-Jew, you might not find one in time, thereby endangering the patient. Hacham Benzion Abba Shaul (Ohr Lezion 2:36:2) reasons that, since pikuach nefesh is such a great mitzvah of saving lives, one should rush to the opportunity to save a person’s life, rather than searching for someone else to do so.

Hutra vs. Dechuya: The Underlying Debate

Hacham Ovadia (Yabia Omer, Vol. 10, O.C. 30) explains the difference of opinion between the Shulchan Aruch and the Rema. This difference depends on whether pikuach nefesh on Shabbat is hutra or dechuya. Hutra means the act does not constitute chilul Shabbat at all, it is as if Shabbat is a “weekday” in this regard. Dechuya, on the other hand, means that pikuach nefesh overrides or takes precedence over Shabbat.

Another ramification of this debate is whether one should perform pikuach nefesh with a shinui, even if a shinui would not endanger the patient. If Shabbat is considered dechuya, a shinui should be performed to reduce the severity of the prohibition. However, if Shabbat is hutra, it can be done in a regular fashion.

Conclusion

To answer the original question, there is a difference between Sephardi and Ashkenazi minhag regarding pikuach nefesh on Shabbat. According to Sephardi practice, pikuach nefesh is performed in a regular fashion and there is no requirement to use a shinui or to involve a non-Jew. Ashkenazi practice aims to minimize chilul Shabbat whenever possible. This is done by either asking a non-Jew to perform the lifesaving action or performing it with a shinui. However, this is only applicable when there is no risk of delay or danger to the patient.

This distinction also explains why Hatzalah members are usually Jewish. Every call for assistance is potentially life-threatening, and every second is critical. In such cases, the priority is immediate and decisive action, without unnecessary complications or delays. When someone’s life is at risk and time is critical, immediate intervention is necessary. Even to pause and confirm with a rabbi whether one is opting for the correct course of action could result in a delay that may be fatal (S.A. O.C. 328:2). Those who perform it with urgency and diligence are praiseworthy (Yoma 84b).

Rabbi Yehuda Finchas is a recognized expert, lecturer, and author on Medical Halacha. He is the head of the Torat Habayit Medical Halacha Institute. His latest book is “Brain Death in Halacha and the Tower of Babel Syndrome.” To contact Rabbi Finchas, please email rabbi@torathabayit.com.

QUESTION:

Dear Rabbi Ali,

I would say that my marriage is pretty good. I have one area that is the source of tension and would appreciate some insights as to what I can do. My wife does not like going to my parents for Shabbat. She also doesn’t want them coming over. This applies to my whole family as well. She gets upset when I talk to them and says that I’m choosing them over her. I know she has some issues with my father, but nothing that seems to warrant all of this. Is there anything I can do to stay connected with my family while keeping the peace?

R’ Ali’s Response:

Unfortunately, this is very common and I’d like to address a few points that are very relevant to anyone going through this. First, everyone should be aware that when they get married, their spouse should not be cutting ties with their family. Family is extremely important and should be part of people’s lives for many years to come. Family gives stability, and in many cases no friend can replace family. I cannot overemphasize the damage that people do by “boxing out” their spouse from their family. People must realize that although they may have a valid point and feel uncomfortable with their spouse’s family, it’s a grave mistake to write them off.

Additionally, I’ve seen many people talk negatively to their spouse about their family. This causes much pain and resentment. If something bothers you, talk about it like a mature adult. Venting negativity to your spouse about their family is not advised at all.

People have a misconception about married life. Lines such as, “your wife/husband comes first,” get thrown around in the wrong places. There are halachic and hashkafic issues many times and a rabbi should be consulted. Just as an example, if a wife’s father asks her to do something conflicting with the husband’s wishes, the wife must go with the husband. This does not work the other way.

Please do not use this article for any halachic decisions, I’m just pointing out that there are times when “the spouse comes first,” and times that it may not apply.

The question you are asking is what should you do now that your wife is “boxing you out” from your family? For starters, you should always try to communicate how you feel in a nice and non-threatening way. Validating her feelings, but state clearly how you feel. “I know you have a hard time going to my parents and I understand you completely. However, I need to stay connected on a basic level to my family.” Try to find a compromise that works for both of you.

If she has a specific issue with your family members, it would be ideal to attempt to resolve it. This would need professional help in my opinion. Choose a third party that you both respect and trust.

Lastly, it should be clear that not having a connection with your family is not an option. You mention that she gets upset when you even speak with them. Say as gently as possible, “I know you have a problem when I speak with my family, however these relationships are extremely important to me and I must stay connected.”

I would advise to continue speaking with your family and being open with your wife. “I love you and I love them, and I hope we can resolve this as soon as possible.”

As I’ve mentioned, in this case I recommend meeting with a professional, as it is sensitive. Of course, I’m not talking about a situation where there’s an unhealthy relationship with you and your family members, which a professional could determine, as well.

In conclusion, family issues are very delicate and sensitive. All delicate and sensitive issues should be dealt with in a sensitive manner. Many times, the issues are multifaceted and truly are complex. Both parties should understand how important family is, as well as how uncomfortable the other one may feel around certain family members. When people feel understood and that the other person does not think they’re crazy, even complicated situations become much easier to navigate.

I’ve seen so many complicated situations navigated nicely and respectfully, and sadly many simple situations dealt with in a reckless manner, causing unnecessary anguish. Work together, understand each other, and you will see how smooth a complicated situation can be.