Jack Gindi

“For everything good, there’s something bad.”

The quote above is what a friend once told me her grandfather used to say. He meant it as wisdom – a way to stay realistic. But her father heard it as a warning. He internalized it with worry, and over time, he passed that anxious way of living on to her.

We don’t always realize it, but the way we process life becomes the emotional blueprint our children inherit. The way we handle setbacks, big or small, teaches them how to face their own. Each of these moments either plants the seed of possibility – or reinforces the habit of limitation.

Building Dreams Together is about more than just parenting – it’s about the beliefs we unknowingly pass down. Many of the stories we live by aren’t absolute truths; they’re inherited perspectives shaped by culture, family, and fear. When we pause to examine them, we create space for change. And now, research shows it may even influence how long – and how well – we live.

Many people confuse surface-level positivity with optimism, but they’re different animals. Positivity focuses on feeling good right now – emotions like joy, gratitude, and calm. Optimism links today’s meaning to tomorrow’s possibilities. It’s how we turn challenges into stepping stones for a better future.

Real Optimism Adds More Than Years

Studies reveal something remarkable: people who live with purpose and direction tend to live longer, often by 11 to 15 years. That’s comparable to the benefits of regular exercise or quitting smoking.

But here’s what many people miss: it’s not about wearing rose-colored glasses. The people who thrive aren’t necessarily the cheeriest. They’re grounded and resilient – able to find growth even in difficult circumstances.

This practice – finding meaning in challenges – is the real secret to a longer, richer life.

How to Think Like a Real Optimist

If you grew up with fear, scarcity, or negativity as your default setting, you’re not alone. The good news is: you can change your mindset, and in doing so, change what you pass down to the next generation. Here are five simple daily practices anyone can start right away.

Start Each Day with Gratitude: Name three things you’re grateful for each morning. This simple act shifts your brain toward joy and possibility.

Choose Your Mental Diet Carefully: Today’s media often profits from panic. You don’t have to consume it all. Be selective about what information you take in each day – seek balanced, constructive perspectives.

Ask Better Questions: When facing challenges, ask: “What’s possible here?” instead of “Why is this happening to me?” Better questions create better outcomes.

Notice the Turning Points: Each day, identify one challenge and ask, What did this teach me? or How did I grow today? This transforms discomfort into development.End the Day with Reflection: Write down three good things that happened – and how you contributed. This builds awareness of your power to shape your day.

Why Optimists Live Better

• They take better care of themselves, not out of rigid discipline, but because they believe tomorrow is worth preparing for.
  
• Their bodies handle stress differently. When you believe challenges have meaning, your body doesn’t react with the same damaging stress response. Your heart, immune system, and even your DNA stay healthier.
  
• They build stronger relationships, and living with purpose leads to deeper connections. These become your safety net in hard times.

• Even their cells age differently – research shows that purpose helps protect telomeres, the chromosome caps tied to aging and disease.

Michele Shrem

Anti-Semitism is a word heavy with history, pain, and injustice. From ancient persecution to the horrors of the Holocaust, and now to the current rise of hate incidents, Jewish communities around the world continue to grapple with different forms of anti-Semitism. While the word “anti-Semitism” carries a shared meaning, how it is felt and experienced is deeply personal.

Here community members weigh in on this sensitive topic. Their voices reflect anger, confusion, resilience, pride, and a yearning to be seen beyond the stereotypes.

David B.

“The strange thing about anti-Semitism is that it can feel invisible until suddenly it’s not. One day I’m at a dinner party and someone makes a joke about Jews and money like it is casual trivia. And I think, would you say that about any other group and expect me to laugh?” David describes himself as “visibly Jewish,” often wearing a kippah in public. He has been verbally harassed on the subway and once had to escort his children away from a protest where anti-Semitic slurs were being chanted. “It’s not just the violence,” he says. “It’s the constant drip of assumption and suspicion.”

Maya T.

“Being Jewish on campus feels like walking a tightrope. I’m proud of who I am, but I also know if I speak up about anti-Semitism, some people will say I’m just being dramatic.” Maya is active in her university’s Jewish student group. She notes an uptick in hostility around discussions about Israel, where “Jewish students are often held responsible for geopolitical decisions thousands of miles away.” For her, the line between criticism and anti-Semitism is sometimes crossed with alarming ease.

Eli C.

“There’s a spiritual wound that comes with being hated for simply existing. My role is to help my community heal, but also to prepare.” Eli has led community responses to local synagogue vandalism and helps coordinate security training with law enforcement. “It’s a strange contradiction – offering spiritual peace while knowing someone might walk through our doors with a gun.”

Isaac O.

“There’s this myth that anti-Semitism died after the Holocaust. I see it in classrooms when students doubt what I say, or ask if I’m exaggerating.” Isaac has dedicated his life to educating young people about the Holocaust, but he’s often disheartened by the skepticism he encounters. “When you have people who say it [the Holocaust] didn’t happen, or that it wasn’t that bad, that’s not just ignorance – it’s hatred repackaged as opinion.”

Sara S.

“I live in two worlds. In Israel, being Jewish is normal. In New York, it can feel like a liability, especially in certain professional settings.” Sara splits her time between Israel and the U.S. and she’s noticed how her colleagues in the tech industry avoid Jewish topics. “People will talk about diversity all day, but when I mention anti-Semitism, it’s like I’ve said a dirty word.”

Egal Z.

“I want my kids to be proud Jews, but I worry every time they wear their Star of David necklaces outside.” There has seen a troubling rise in anti-Semitic attacks, and Egal has taught his children how to recognize danger. “We’ve had serious talks about where to sit on the bus, how to respond to threats, when to hide their identity. It’s heartbreaking.”

Joey D.

“Anti-Semitism doesn’t always wear a swastika. Sometimes it wears a smile and asks why we’re always so ‘pushy’ or ‘successful.’” Joey has lost clients after revealing he’s Jewish. He’s also had vendors assume he’d be “good with money” or he’d be an “aggressive negotiator.” “These stereotypes are older than me, but they still shape how people see us. That’s exhausting.”

What Unites These Voices

What emerges from these deeply personal reflections is that anti-Semitism isn’t just an external threat – it shapes daily choices, instills fear, and, paradoxically, strengthens identity. From America to Europe, in schools, workplaces, and places of worship, Jews continue to face a unique form of prejudice that often goes unchallenged.

But what also emerges is strength. The act of speaking out, of refusing to disappear, is itself resistance. Whether through education, art, activism, or simple persistence, these individuals – and countless others like them – are shaping a world where hate does not get the final word. We are not defined by the hatred we face, but rather, we are defined by the lives we build in spite of it.

Anti-Semitism on College Campuses

College campuses have long been considered bastions of free thought, diversity, and inclusion. Yet for many Jewish students, that ideal is being eroded by a troubling resurgence of anti-Semitism across North American and European universities. From hostile rhetoric to physical threats, students report an environment that often feels more alienating than empowering. While the rise in ant-Semitism isnot exclusive to universities, the setting presents unique dangers-where ideas gain traction quickly, peer influence is powerful, and institutional responses are often delayed, inconsistent, or politically constrained.

There has been a climate of fear, and since 2020 Jewish students have reported a dramatic increase in anti-Semitic incidents on college campuses. The Anti-Defamation League (ADL) and Hillel International documented hundreds of cases in the 2023–2024 academic year alone, ranging from hateful graffiti and swastikas in dormitories to verbal harassment, social media intimidation, and even physical violence. In many cases, Jewish students say they are not just afraid,they also feel isolated. Instead of openly wearing a Star of David necklace, many are now tucking their necklaces in while walking through campus.

Subtle and Less Subtle Forms of Anti-Semitism

Anti-Semitism on campus does not always take the form of overt slurs or vandalism. More often, it’s subtle: Jewish students being left out of progressive student groups for their alleged “Zionist” views, professors singling out Jewish students during political discussions, or students being asked to denounce Israel in order to prove their commitment to justice. At its most extreme, anti-Semitism on campus has become violent. In several recent cases, Jewish students have reported being physically threatened or assaulted at protests, or targeted online with coordinated harassment campaigns.

Perhaps the most controversial and difficult line to draw on college campuses is the one between anti-Zionism and anti-Semitism. Criticism of Israel’s government and policies – like criticism of any country – is legitimate and protected under the right to free speech. However, when this criticism morphs into blanket hostility toward Jewish students, or denial of Israel’s right to exist, it often veers into blatant ant-Semitism. Some professors and student leaders have also fueled this divide, painting Jewish identity and Zionism as inherently colonial, thereby erasing the complex and diverse relationship many Jews have with Israel.

Universities’ Apathy and the Response

Many Jewish students say their universities have failed to seriously address anti-Semitism on campus. Despite the existence of diversity and inclusion offices, anti-Semitic incidents are often underreported, dismissed, or reframed as political debate. In some cases, students claim they are told to simply avoid certain events or “stay silent to deescalate.”

In response, some Jewish advocacy groups have begun lobbying for stronger protections. The U.S., the Department of Education’s Office for Civil Rights has opened several investigations under Title VI of the Civil Rights Act, which protects students from discrimination based on shared ancestry or ethnic characteristics, which includes anti-Semitism.

The emotional burden of anti-Semitism on college students is severe. According to Hillel International, nearly one in three Jewish students say they’ve felt unsafe or unwelcome on campus. For many, this leads to self-censorship, isolation, or disengagement from Jewish life. Some Jewish students even feel forced to “pass” as non-Jews in academic or social settings –not affixing or actually removing mezuzahs from their dorm rooms, removing Jewish identifiers from social media, or refraining from speaking up in class.

Fighting Back

Despite the hostility, many Jewish students are choosing to fight back -with dignity and strength. They launch educational campaigns, and push for clear university policies on anti-Semitism. Social media is also a battleground where Jewish students share stories, organize support, and challenge misinformation.

Addressing anti-Semitism on campus requires more than statements and hashtags. It demands a clear definition of anti-Semitism that includes contemporary forms, such as anti-Zionist hostility when targeted at Jews. Mandatory education on anti-Semitism needs to be instituted, rapid response protocols for anti-Semitic incidents must be put into place with real accountability, and safe spaces need to be put into place for Jewish students to practice, explore, and celebrate their identity without fear. Most importantly, addressing anti-Semitism requires listening – to Jewish students, to their concerns, and to their complex identities.

Anti-Semitism on college campuses is not an isolated problem – it reflects wider societal tensions. But when anti-Semitism occurs in academic spaces, it undermines the very values these institutions claim to uphold – open inquiry, mutual respect, and intellectual freedom. To truly combat anti-Semitism, colleges must treat it not as a fringe concern but as a core challenge to their mission. 

Dave Gordon

Israel is facing one of the most intense periods of global pressure in recent memory. From the devastating war in Gaza, to escalating threats from Iran and its proxies, the nation’s security and legitimacy are being challenged on multiple fronts. Here in the United States, pro-Palestinian demonstrations – many of them increasingly hostile and disruptive – have taken hold on college campuses, in city streets, and even in corporate boardrooms. The fallout has extended beyond protests to economic pressure, as the BDS movement gains traction and companies reevaluate their ties to Israel.

For those watching these developments with growing concern, the question is urgent: What can I do?

While most of us are not policymakers or diplomats, we are consumers. And the choices we make – where we spend, what we buy, and whom we support – carry weight. That’s where the concept of a buycott comes in. Unlike a boycott, which seeks to punish, a buycott is a deliberate act of support: choosing to spend money on Israeli products, Israeli-owned businesses, or companies that refuse to bow to anti-Israel pressure. It may seem small in the face of global unrest – but history has shown that even modest consumer actions can make a difference. At a time when Israel is under siege in more ways than one, buying a bottle of wine, a jar of hummus, or a box of Israeli chocolates can become an act of solidarity. A buycott won’t end a war – but it sends a message: Israel is not alone.

“We have a problem,” exclaimed Brooklyn resident, Mr. Levy, to his wife.  He had discovered a pint of their favorite ice cream, Ben & Jerry’s, in the freezer. He told her that from now on they would no longer be buying that brand.

Was it the heksher?Mrs. Levy asked. Hadthe Kof-K kosher supervision been pulled from the product? No, and no. Mr. Levy responded that Ben and Jerry’s would no longer be considered kosher in their eyes because the company had decided to capitulate to the anti-Israel movement BDS –  boycott, divestment, and sanctions. The family agreed to no longer buy or eat Ben and Jerry’s, taking a principled stand against the company that has not only misguided views of Israel, but to their minds, contributes to harmful and hateful messaging. In 2021the company said that selling the ice cream in Judea and Samaria was “inconsistent” with their values, and it would not renew its licensing agreement for distribution there.

The company’s position has remained consistent, a move that led to a backlash, including divestment by some investors, and legal disputes with Unilever, its parent company.

Ben and Jerry’s Grows Colder on Israel

In fact, the ice cream company’s independent board has recently intensified its criticism, labeling Israel’s actions in Gaza as “genocide” in a May 2025 statement. This marks one of the strongest corporate denunciations of Israel’s conduct in the conflict, and has further strained the relationship between Ben & Jerry’s and Unilever.

Unilever has publicly distanced itself from the board’s statements, emphasizing that the views expressed are those of Ben & Jerry’s board and not the parent company.

But the ice cream maker’s political stance is not an isolated incident. While few major North American corporations have formally endorsed BDS, several have taken actions or made statements that align with BDS goals. Several well-known companies have withdrawn from Israel or made operational changes in response to pressure from BDS.

Other Corporations Bow to BDS Pressure

In December 2024, Brooklinen disclosed that it had moved all production out of Israel during 2023. The company cited years of pressure from BDS activists as a key reason for this decision.

In November 2024, 7-Eleven closed all eight of its stores in Israel. This marked a rare full market exit by a major international retailer, following sustained boycott pressure.

In December 2023, Puma announced it would not renew its sponsorship of the Israeli Football Association. While the company claimed the decision was unrelated to the Gaza war, it came after years of global boycott campaigns targeting Puma for its ties to Israeli settlements.

Chevron US, targeted for its investments in Israeli gas, halted expansion of a gas field in 2024 due to pressure. Starbucks experienced significant sales declines and laid off at least 2,000 employees in the Middle East in 2024. The company’s CEO acknowledged the negative impact of the boycotts in both the region and the United States.

The Earth Day Network, the world’s largest recruiter to the environmental movement, cut ties with SodaStream in 2014, and KQED Public Radio removed SodaStream from its donor gifts after BDS advocacy. In August 2024, San Francisco State University divested from companies including Lockheed Martin, Palantir Technologies, Leonardo, and Caterpillar after a three-week student solidarity encampment.

And finally, in 2024 Pitzer College became the first U.S. institution to end its study abroad program in Israel, following student-led BDS organizing.

These examples illustrate that BDS campaigns have, in several cases, led to marked changes in the operations, finances, or policies of targeted companies and institutions.

Consumer Choices Influence Corporations

These changes  illustratethat consumer choices can influence corporate behavior. It is therefore incumbent upon supporters of the Jewish people and Israel to redirect spending to counter the effect – to make spending decisions that align with our values.

Several organizations and websites actively track companies and corporations that are considered pro-Israel. These resources are often used by so-called activists and consumers interested in boycott, divestment, and sanctions campaigns. But those who support Israel can use them in reverse – choosing to purchase items on the “no buy” list.

You can find “no buy” lists on websites like StopBds.com, The Islamic Information, The Witness, Who Profits, Investigate, the BDS movement official website, and the Buycott app. They often highlight companies such as Microsoft, Cisco, Palantir, SodaStream, IBM, Hewlett Packard, Siemens, Google, Amazon, Airbnb, Booking.com, Disney, and Scotiabank as all having some dealings with Israel or Israeli companies. Of course, that’s a shortlist.

Another answer to combating the hate is to specifically choose Israeli-made products in the supermarkets, or to subscribe to by-mail box subscription services that send items each month from Israel, such as Lev Haolam, which ships monthly subscription boxes around the world, featuring artisan products from Israel, particularly from Judea and Samaria.

Buycott Campaigns – a Creative Proactive Response

There are several documented instances where “buycott” campaigns -efforts to proactively purchase Israeli goods or support Israeli companies – have made a financial difference or provided a visible counter to boycott movements. While such campaigns often gain traction during periods of heightened tension or boycott calls, concrete examples of measurable financial impact are less frequently publicized compared to boycott successes.

The most notable example of an Israeli wine buycott involving the Toronto Jewish community and the LCBO (Liquor Control Board of Ontario) occurred in July 2017, during a high-profile controversy over the labeling of wines from Israeli settlements in Judea and Samaria.

On July 11, 2017, the LCBO, acting on a directive from the Canadian Food Inspection Agency (CFIA), instructed vendors to halt the sale of wines labeled “Product of Israel” if they were produced in Judea and Samaria or other territories “occupied” by Israel since 1967. This directive specifically targeted wines from Psagot and Shiloh wineries.

Canadian Jewish Community Push Back

The news of the directive spread rapidly through social media and Jewish community networks in Toronto. Pro-Israel organizations, including B’nai Brith Canada and the Centre for Israel and Jewish Affairs (CIJA), mobilized supporters to protest the removal of Israeli wines from LCBO shelves. There was a strong push within the community to not only voice opposition but also to demonstrate support for Israeli products by purchasing them – a classic buycott response.

Community members were encouraged to visit LCBO stores and buy Israeli wines, both to show solidarity and to counteract the effects of the boycott call. Social media posts and community bulletins urged people to stock up on Israeli wines, and some stores reported increased demand for these products.

The buycott was accompanied by lobbying and public statements from Jewish organizations, emphasizing both the economic and symbolic importance of supporting Israeli goods in the face of boycott efforts.

The intense backlash – including the surge in purchases – combined with political pressure led to a rapid reversal of the original directive. By July 13, just two days later, the CFIA announced it was rescinding its order and allowed the wines to return to LCBO shelves. This was widely seen as a victory for the buycott campaign and the broader pro-Israel community in Toronto.

International Push Back

In other examples, after boycott protests at stores like Trader Joe’s or Sainsbury’s in the UK, pro-Israel shoppers have organized counter-protests, buying out entire stocks of Israeli products and sometimes causing products to sell out. This has been reported in various media over the years.

SodaStream, an Israeli company that has faced years of BDS pressure, has also benefited from buycott campaigns. After the company was targeted for setting up in its Judea and Samaria factory, pro-Israel consumers and organizations in the U.S. and elsewhere promoted SodaStream as a symbol of coexistence and Israeli innovation. During periods of boycott, SodaStream’s sales in certain markets actually increased as supporters made a point to purchase its products.

Ahava, an Israeli cosmetics brand made from Dead Sea minerals, has been a frequent BDS target. In response, buycott campaigns have urged supporters to purchase Ahava products, especially during anti-Israel protests at stores in the U.S. and Europe.

While exact figures are rarely released, Israeli trade officials and advocacy groups have credited buycott campaigns with helping to offset the impact of boycotts and in some cases even boosting sales of targeted goods.

Sabra Hummus Saved!

The Sabra Hummus buycott campaigns in the U.S. were most visible on college campuses, where BDS activists targeted the brand due to its Israeli ownership and alleged support for the Israeli military. In 2010, a pro-Palestinian student group at Princeton University called for a boycott of Sabra hummus, equating its purchase with supporting Israeli military actions.

In response, a counter-campaign called “Save the Hummus!” was launched by pro-Israel students and community members. This buycott encouraged students and supporters to purchase Sabra products and generated national media attention for its creative and positive messaging.

The buycott was successful: the boycott effort failed, and Sabra remained available on campus. The campaign is cited as a model for how grassroots buycott efforts can effectively neutralize BDS activism.

Meanwhile, The Park Slope Food Coop, a progressive grocery store in Brooklyn, became a battleground for BDS activists in 2012 seeking to ban Israeli products, including Sabra.

In response, a grassroots group called “More Hummus Please” mobilized community members, local rabbis, elected officials, and advocacy organizations to oppose the boycott and to encourage the purchase of Israeli goods, including Sabra hummus.

The buycott and advocacy campaign helped defeat the proposed boycott, and Sabra products remained on the shelves.

Campaigns and Counter-Campaigns

At DePaul University and at other campuses, student groups campaigned to remove Sabra from dining halls. These efforts were met with counter-campaigns by pro-Israel students who encouraged others to buy Sabra and voice support for its continued sale. In most cases, the boycotts were unsuccessful, and Sabra products remained available, partly due to visible buycott support and advocacy from the broader community.

However, in 2024 Israeli food giant Strauss Group sold its stake in Sabra to PepsiCo, a move attributed in part to ongoing boycott pressure.

Multiple retailers, including Pemberton Farms, Balady Foods, and Harvest Coop, have removed Sabra products from their shelves following BDS campaigns. But now, Israel supporters know where these stores’ values are and can choose to buy elsewhere.

The Enduring Strength of the Jewish Community

The recent wave of boycotts and divestment campaigns, and the resulting changes in corporate behavior, have posed undeniable challenges for the Jewish community and supporters of Israel. Yet, as history has shown, adversity often reveals the true character and resilience of a people.

Despite mounting pressures, the Jewish community has responded not with despair, but with unity, creativity, and collective action. From grassroots buycott campaigns that turned the tide at liquor stores and on college campuses, to the mobilization of advocacy organizations and everyday consumers, the community has demonstrated its ability to adapt, organize, and stand firm in the face of adversity. These efforts have not only mitigated the impact of boycotts but have also sent a powerful message: attempts to isolate or delegitimize Israel will be met with unwavering solidarity and renewed commitment.

This resilience is rooted in a long tradition of overcoming hardship through mutual support and resourcefulness. Whether rallying to keep Israeli products on store shelves or finding new ways to express their values through conscious consumerism, the Jewish community continues to turn challenges into opportunities for growth and connection.

In the face of campaigns designed to divide and weaken, the Jewish community’s response has been to come together, amplify its voice, and support one another with determination and hope.

Excitement is mounting among the thousands of Oraysa students around the globe as they approach the end of their study of Masechet Ta’anit. The students have been working hard for the last three months, learning and reviewing this Masechet, which focuses on the fasts to be observed and prayers to be recited in situations of drought. Masechet Ta’anit also includes numerous aggadic (non-halachic) sections which present vital, fundamental concepts relevant to one’s service of Gd.

With this Masechet nearing completion, the students of Oraysa are now preparing to begin the next Masechet – Moed Katan, which deals mainly with the halachot of Hol Ha’mo’ed (the interim days of Pesach and Sukkot), and the halachot of avelut (mourning). This program affords students a unique opportunity to delve into these topics which are somewhat less familiar than many other sections of the Talmud.

Moed Katan is the second-to-last Masechet in Seder Moed, and the students are already excitedly anticipating their siyum celebrating the completion of this seder, scheduled for the beginning of Kislev, 5786 (end of November of this year). The siyum will be celebrated here in the United States, as well as in Israel and Europe. Thousands of Oraysa participants are expected to attend each event to mark this special milestone and monumental accomplishment.  This celebration of the completion of an entire seder will be the first of its kind since the Oraysa program was founded nearly six years ago, marking the culmination of 12 Masechtot – hundreds of pages of Gemara.

The Oraysa Amud V’Chazara program was developed in collaboration with leading Rosheh Yeshivah and Torah sages to meet the growing demand for a Gemara learning framework that balances consistent progression with meaningful review. This worldwide initiative is designed to unite and empower devoted students through a structured daily learning regimen that incorporates both new material and review of previously studied material. The pace is perfect for mastering the Talmud and retaining the knowledge. The structured yet flexible approach makes the program accessible to the entire spectrum of Torah learners – from kollel students to educators to laymen. Oraysa enables every participant, regardless of his background and schedule, to grow in Torah scholarship and deepen his connection to Torah learning. Numerous different resources are provided to participants on a daily, weekly and monthly basis, both digitally and in print, to help with the study, including world-class shiurim available in video or audio format.

The Oraysa project has, with Gd’s help, seen extraordinary growth with every new Masechet, as new study groups continue to form, and new participants continue to join throughout the world.

Oraysa has become a global movement, connecting approximately 30,000 participantsin 370 groups across 100 cities worldwide.

Join thousands of Oraysa students as they embark on their journey through Masechet Moed Katan. Savor the satisfaction of learning in a goal-oriented way with a built-in system for review and retention, ensuring that every pagestays with you for years to come.

To join the program, for more information, or to help establish a study group in your community, please contact Oraysa at 914.8.ORAYSA or email info@oraysa.org.

QUESTION:

Dear Rabbi Ali,

I would say that this has been an issue in my marriage for as long as I could remember.  At least two to three times a week we argue about money. My wife likes spending lavishly, many times beyond our means, whereas, I like to live a more conservative lifestyle and to save money. She says that I am cheap, but I don’t think so. What does one do when two people just have different approaches to money? Is there any way to deal with this without fighting?

R’ Ali’s Response:

I will address your specific questions, but I’d like to mention a few things that people need to hear on this topic. The peer pressure of the Jewish community can be very intense. Trying to keep up with our friends and neighbors is no easy task. It’s important to understand that some people care very much about keeping up with others and some don’t care so much. If your spouse feels this pressure, it won’t help to debate it. Rather, accept it for what it is and deal with it. This is not to say that your spouse is correct. That is a completely different topic. On the other hand, some people don’t care much about what others are doing and live within their means. It’s important to acknowledge that as a sign of good character and be grateful for that. Calling your spouse “cheap” for not wanting to spend recklessly is wrong and insensitive. The spouse who is calling the other one “cheap” may be looking at a special and noble person and may not even recognize it.

Another important point that I believe all wives must hear, is that your husband cannot “make money.” All he can do is his ownhishtadlut. He works hard because that is what Hashem wants him to do. However,Hashem is the One who ultimately decides how much money he will have. I say this because many women are resentful that their husbands are not “making it” like their friends or family are. If the husband is working hard, there’s not much more that he can do. Complaining to him about his lack of wealth makes him feel horrible, worthless, and possibly makes him feel like a failure. 

Getting back to your question. You specifically asked, “What does one do when two people have different approaches?” I have seen many couples with many differences who seem to work their differences out just fine. However, I see other couples with minimal differences who struggle tremendously. It’s not about the differences, rather how you deal with them. If you have a good relationship, respect each other, and communicate nicely, most things will not become major issues. I don’t know the details about your relationship, but money is not usually an issue, even with different approaches, when the relationship is good. This is not to say that you don’t have a good relationship, I’m just giving you food for thought. Maybe you two need to work on communication, not money philosophies.

You mention that your wife keeps spending beyond your means. I’m not sure how you addressed this in the past but it obviously is not working. I have two ideas on how to deal with this specific problem. I call this a problem for obvious reasons. It seems like your wife spends money that you simply don’t have. If you had the money, that would be an entirely different question. The first idea would be to communicate to her in a different way. Until now you probably just argued with her. I have mentioned this approach in the past but it’s worth repeating. Approach your wife when there is no issue at hand. Make sure she and you are both relaxed. Tell her how you’d love to buy her everything that she wants (and mean it). However, we really need to stick to this budget for now. Hopefully, one day we will be able to spend much more. With this approach, it’s not about pointing the finger at “her spending habits,” it’s about the reality.

If this doesn’t work and she says that she needs more money, you should follow up with the next step. You should calculate the exact amount of your monthly income. Then, tell her this is how much I make and this is how much we can spend. Please understand that we cannot go over this budget for now. There are other ideas regarding setting boundaries, but I believe that anything drastic should be spoken over with a professional or a rabbi. I don’t see why you cannot sit down with your wife and a rabbi and propose the question to him. 

Wishing you much success, and, of course, if you pray to Hashem for assistance and clarity then you’re sure to have a wonderful relationship.

ByEddie Esses and Sari Setton

On the evening of May 20, nervous anticipation quickly turned into excited euphoria… that we had finally done it. That WE, as a community, had achieved something monumental. 

In a historic moment for the Sephardic Jewish Community, Sam Sutton was elected to lead the 22nd New York State Senate District with a commanding 67-32% margin – making him the first Sephardic Jew ever elected to the NY State Senate. This was much more than just a victory for Sam; it was a transformative milestone for our community, which has steadily grown in strength, unity, and civic engagement.

This victory was reached, thanks in large part to our community. Special elections in non-presidential years often see minimal voter participation, but the Sephardic Community turned out in force. Building on the momentum of Joey Saban’s groundbreaking campaign for New York State Assembly just one year ago, we once again demonstrated that we are organized, motivated, and ready to be taken seriously by elected officials at every level. Borough Park, Midwood, and Flatbush voters also came out strong for Sam by a wide margin, contributing to a diverse and powerful coalition.

The election night celebration reflected the joy and meaning of this historic achievement. Sam gathered with close friends, campaign team members, and a host of dignitaries and elected officials. Former Governor Andrew Cuomo, Manhattan Borough President Mark Levine, and many NYC Council Members offered heartfelt remarks, reflecting on their past work with Sam and highlighting his long standing reputation as a thoughtful, effective, and principled leader. Ronnie Tawil, Sam’s fellow co-founder of the Sephardic Community Federation, gave a moving tribute, speaking of Sam’s unwavering devotion to the community and his decades of quiet yet impactful leadership. 

In his remarks that evening, Sam made sure to thank everyone who made the victory possible – but he gave special thanks to his wife, Nancy, a community leader in her own right. Sam acknowledged how much of his communal involvement was inspired and shaped by Nancy’s tireless work, and how grateful he is for her support, wisdom, and example.

Sam’s leadership has deep roots. A lifelong community leader, he has spent decades shaping key community institutions. He served over 30 years at SBH, including five as president, helping it grow into a comprehensive social service powerhouse. He co-founded and still chairs Teach NYS, which secured a $330 per-child education tax credit and opened the door for yeshivot to receive Title I services from culturally appropriate third-party providers. As a founding board member of the SAFE Foundation, a trustee at NYU Langone Hospital, and a former CUNY Board of Trustees member, Sam has spent his life using institutional roles to deliver tangible results for our community.

Behind the scenes, the campaign ran on passion, dedication, and a clear vision. Campaign manager Joey Saban, whose own run for office catalyzed a wave of civic engagement in the community last year, worked nonstop for months to line everything up for a potential campaign. Once launched, he ensured every detail of the campaign strategy was executed with heart and precision. That same energy carried through to Election Day, where Sephardic Community voters sent a clear and powerful message: we are no longer on the sidelines—we are shaping the future.

Only one week after the election, Sam took office in a special ceremony on the floor of the State Senate. Alongside his wife Nancy and his entire family, Sam was sworn into office using the Aleppo Codex, showcasing just how monumental a feat was achieved. Sam was recognized later that day during his first legislative session with a round of applause by the entire chamber. 

True to character, Sam wasn’t looking to spend time basking in his victory. He was eager to get to work.  With just two weeks remaining before the end of the legislative session, Sam  introduced four of his own bills and passed three of them (!)  – that’s more than many legislators pass in their full terms. One bill prevents the issuing of sanitation tickets to those who put out their garbage on Friday  as opposed to during Shabbat. Another bill supports funding for treatment for those struggling with infertility. In addition to passing multiple bills at a record pace, Sam also secured significant funding for multiple community organizations. 

For our community, this endeavor was much more than an election – it was a moment of long-overdue recognition. The Sephardic community has shown that it is cohesive, active, and ready to build lasting influence with government. With Sam Sutton in the State Senate, our voice is finally where it belongs: at the table.

Ellen Geller Kamaras

“I was named after my Grandma Grace Sasson who published the first Syrian cookbook in the community.  Through her name, she passed her talents to me. B”H, I’m able to earn parnassah and bring people together through food.”~~ Grace Sitt ~~

Please meet Grace Sitt.  Her name is so appropriate for her as it connotes, kindness, charm, goodness, ease, and elegance – exactly her qualities.

As we follow Grace on her personal and professional journey, you will see that Grace’s spiritual and entrepreneurial voice grew strongly and steadily from her teens until now.

Roots

Grace Sasson Sitt, the daughter of Marcelle and Sammy Sasson, lived in Brooklyn until her family moved to Deal when she was in eighth grade. She is the oldest of five children and has three sisters and a brother.  Sadly, her sister Marjorie, a”h, passed away in her thirties due to complications from an illness. 

Grace’s paternal grandparents and maternal grandmother were from Aleppo, Syria. 

The Sassons could only afford to send one child to yeshiva, so only their son had that privilege.  Grace happily attended Talmud Torah classes at East Midwood JC in the afternoons. She learned to read and write Hebrew and learned about Jewish history, Humash, and hagim.

School studies came easily to Grace except for math and science.  She was shy in school butwith time she became more sociable as she adjusted.

Grace felt her transition from Brooklyn to Deal was fairly smooth. It helped that Marcelle’s friends’ daughters warmly welcomed Grace into their friends’ group. 

High School Years

When Grace was 14 years of age, there was no girls yeshiva high schoolin Deal.To the girls’ good fortune, a local teacher, Mrs. Jacobowitz, taught limudei kodeshto the high school girls twice a week.

During 11^{th and} 12^th grade, Grace felt engaged in the school’s co-op program.  She used her new skills at her job at the Tactical Library at Fort Monmouth.

Grace’s father began to learn with the rabbi of the shul they had joined.  Her father became observant, and Grace followed his lead, out of love and respect.

After graduating high school, Grace began working in a wholesale company in NYC.

Married Life

Grace and her husband Steven have been married for 38 years. The couple has seven children and many grandchildren. Family is a priority for Grace and Steven, and they adore seeing their children and grandchildren.

The couple moved to Deal from Brooklyn around 27 years ago.  They are proud of their community, with its wonderful schools, organizations, and centers, where they appreciate that children can spend time safely.

Steven has been an EMT since the Jersey Shore Hatzalah was established in 2002.  He is now the Executive Director, and their son Sammy recently completed his paramedic course and is one of the coordinators.  Grace has been a dispatcher since Hatzalah began responding to calls in 2003.

Grace’s Essence

Grace describes herself as caring, loyal, fun, and easy-going.She also exudes warmth, ease, and calmness, which fit perfectly with her name.

In the morning Grace asks Hashem to help her make her clients happy. Her parents and grandmothers significantly helped to  shape the woman Grace became.

Marcelle and Sammy taught Grace about independence, responsibility, respect, and ethics.  She learned from them that failing provides a lesson to learn from, and to keep moving forward. 

“Grandma Grace was my role model in the kitchen. We went there for Shabbat meals and holidays.  She had everyone’s favorites and put out a table that could feed the whole block.”

Cooking – A Family Affair

When the Sassons moved to Deal, Grandma Grace stayed with them for the summer. She was always making something delicious.

Grace had no interest in learning to cook or bake as a teenager.  Grandma Grace would beg her to join her.  “I chose my friends or the beach instead.”  Her grandmother had sons and no daughters and so she taught her daughter-in-law Marcelle how to cook, bake, and entertain.

Grace’s Grandma Marjorie worked very hard. She was always put together, smiling. and laughing. She didn’t have a lot, but she lived life to the fullest, dancing, laughing, and smiling.

Grace’s Trajectory

When Grace married, she started to cook as a creative outlet and enjoyed entertaining for Shabbat and holidays. When her children began yeshiva, Grace studied more and grew spiritually. She felt very fulfilled being a mom.

Until seventeen years ago, Grace was a full-time mom. Then,Grace decided to work to supplement her family’s income.  She wanted a job where she could still be home with her youngest, two-year-old Racheli.  She tried babysitting but didnot enjoy it.  Someone suggested she make and sell mazza out of her house. 

“My career chose me.  A book on emunah that I read, said that Hashem gives us talents, not just for ourselves but [our talents] should be shared or used to make a living or to help others.  When it was time to work, I saw Hashem’s hand in following Grandma Grace’s path of cooking.”

Grace also worked in the kitchens of local food businesses where she learned how to cook very large quantities and she learned about food safety. 

Catering by Grace

Someone asked if Grace would help them to cater a party and Catering by Grace was born. 

“I completely self-taught myself everything, from figuring out quantities of food needed for 100 vs. 200 guests, how to display the food, how to charge my clients, how to be cost efficient without compromising quality, how to create menus, and how to store and transport food.  I never went to culinary or business school.  I went online and did the research. I learned everything on the job.  It was a lot of trial and error, but I kept learning and growing every year.  I really enjoy cooking, otherwise the food doesn’t come out well.”

Many of Grace’s firstjobs were cooking for shiva houses. She cooked three meals a day for a week for mourners and extended family.  “I prepared the favorite dishes of the grandparent or wife who had passed away.  It was healing for those sittingshiva.”

The Business Grows

She began as a one-woman show, working out of her home and sometimes getting her husband, her older children, and teenagers who were off for the summer to help.

In Grace’s early catering days, she sometimes worked from 5am to 2am and then slept most of Shabbat.

Her husband and children support Grace’s career and are proud of what she has accomplished.  “I can honestly say that none of my kids would go into catering – LOL.”

As her business expanded, life normalized and Grace was able to afford a commissary, employ staff, and have an assistant help her manage parties.

Grace caters bar/bat mitzvahs, brit milot, engagements, sebets,sheva brachot, birthdays, baby namings, weddings, and pizza ovens.  She has organized parties ranging from intimate dinner parties for 20 people to events with 500 guests.

A New Partnership

Grace recently partnered with Susan and Jack Zayat under the name Hungrymom Catering.

“It was a sign from Hashem.  My commissary where I cooked was closing. The Zayats approached me wanting to enter the catering/meal prep business and they had a commissary.”

Hungrymom is the Zayat’s Instagram/baking business. The partners are in the process of rebranding.

Their menu is diverse and is made up of traditional kosher Syrian specialties, American, Italian, Mexican, Asian, and Israeli cuisine. Grace always specialized in homemade mazza, both dairy and meat.

Everything is homemade, from their doughs for mazza to their marinades and dressings.  The recipes are passed down from grandparents/parents and contain no preservatives or fillers.  “We make everything fresh to order and we treat each client’s event as if it was our own party.”

Quality is a priority for Hungrymom – the best advertising is a happy client.  Most clients come from word of mouth.

Their vision is to continue with catering events and to expand within the kosher meal prep industry.  They want to offer delicious homemade food whether it’s for vacation, or for the home where both parents work and don’t have time to cook, or just to make life easier.

Lessons Learned

“Make your best effort and leave it to Hashem.”  Grace’s secrets to success – keep learning, ask for expert advice, never compromise on quality, respect your clients, treat your employees with gratitude and deference, and be ready for the unexpected in off-premise catering.”

To de-stress, Grace loves the beach where she can watch the ocean.  She wants to make more time for self-care and for traveling.  “There is nothing better than spending time with family.  There is no greater reward than raising a family, seeing your children as adults and parents, seeing them passing on the values you instilled in them to the next generation.  I always wanted a big family. I love the noise and commotion and seeing everyone together.”

What’s Next

“We are creating a new website to facilitate meal prep orders for home, travel, and shipping.  We will have a spot at Khasky’s this summer for fresh meals takeaway, both dairy and meat during the week, and Shabbat food and mazza on Thursdays and Fridays.”

Contact Grace at gsitt@yahoo.com or on  Instagram:  Hungrymomcatering.

Ellen Geller Kamaras, CPA/MBA, is an International Coach Federation (ICF) Associate Certified Coach.  Her coaching specialties include life, career, and dating coaching.  Ellen can be contacted at ellen@lifecoachellen.com (www.lifecoachellen.com).