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MDY Warriors Repeat as 7th/8th Grade Yeshiva Softball Champions

Ezra C. Sultan 

The Magen David Yeshiva Warriors led by Coaches Ezra Sultan and Richie Mizrachi became the first team to win back-to-back titles in the Yeshiva Softball League. 

It was not an easy feat – as they needed to beat the undefeated YDE team. YDE, led by Coaches Sammy Esses and Max Antar, boasted a 7-0 record during the regular season and was the favorite to win this year’s title.  

The MDY Warriors were led by pitching ace Charles Sultan and a stellar defense and offense that consisted of  3rd baseman Hymie J. Gindi, SS Benny R. Mizrachi, SCF Charles Azar, 2B Jack J. Gindi, 1B Michael Esses, LF Daniel Saff, Catcher Mark Antar, CF Albert Ancona, RF Jacob Kassin, DH Solly Gindi, Jack Avital, Izzy Benjamin, Elliot Movazeb, and Benny D. Mizrachi. 

YDE was led by a group of All Stars that included Abraham Shammah, Raymond Swed, Eddie Saadia, Eddie Dweck, Jack Shrem, Isaac Sardar, Jack Hoffman, David Antar, Raymin Imani, Abie Gindi, Morris Sutton, and Jacob Esses. 

Entering the final inning, the teams were tied at 1-1. Then, in the 7th inning, the MDY Warriors broke the game and the hearts of all the YDE Fans.  

Jack J. Gindi led off with a walk, followed by a single by his brother Hymie. Daniel Saff followed with a line drive single to give MDY a 2-1 lead.  MDY went on to add two more runs, highlighted by a monster RBI double by Michael Esses. 

YDE did not go down without a fight, as they did manage to load the bases in the bottom of the inning – but only came away with one run.  

Final score: MDY 4  YDE 2. 

Congratulations MDY Warriors! 

UNDERCOVER – A Closer Look at Some of the Masters of Disguise

Tuvia Cohen 

Children’s games are fun, and should not be discouraged. Games are to children what work is to an adult. Of the wide spectrum of games available to the young, one of the most popular, exciting, and certainly cheapest is called Hide and Seek. In this particular game, which seems to enjoy universal popularity as well as uniformity of rules, one individual stands in the corner, with his eyes closed, and counts until 100 (“1, 2 …  miss a few… 99, 100”).  

 

Ready or Not! 

While the chosen one is counting, the other members of the group have to hide themselves around the house. Favorite hiding places include broom closets, behind armchairs, underneath beds, and beneath tables. After reaching the agreed number, the seeker shouts out, “100 – coming, ready or not!” and then attempts to locate the temporarily invisible members of his group. Having played the game before, the seeker usually knows where to look, and when he finds the hider, mutual squeals of delight are emitted, and the first person back to base is the winner. 

The great shame is that the people hiding cannot really conceal themselves effectively. If they hid in the broom closet, then no sooner does the excited seeker open the door than they are immediately spotted.  

We would like to suggest an improvement to this game, which will greatly enhance its enjoyment. The suggestion is that all participants should be able to blend into the background of their hiding place entirely. The one hiding in the broom closet should take on the appearance of brooms, the one concealed in the pantry should resemble a jar of peanut butter and a bag of flour, and the one furtively crouching under the bed should be able to simulate a pair of slippers. If the suggestion is adopted, then the game of Hide and Seek will go on for much longer; in fact, it will never end. 

Those endowed with a skeptical nature might protest that the suggestion is impractical. How can anyone change his appearance to resemble brooms, jars or slippers? The very idea is quite preposterous. We disagree! Go to the animal world and there you will see creatures that are able to camouflage themselves to a remarkable degree. If they can do it, why can’t we? Let us have a closer look. 

 

Changing Skin Color 

A toad is a large frog. Should you ever walk along a wooded path and wish to see one, you would probably be unsuccessful. The toad looks like the lump of earth that it sits on, just with extra refinements. On a dry day, its skin is light brown to match the dry leaves and soil. When the rain falls and darkens the ground, the toad’s skin darkens, too.  

There is a member of the spider family called the crab spider. This creature has the capability of changing its color to match the flower it is sitting on. Its perfect camouflage hides it from insects when they settle on the flower to feed. Then the spider moves quickly to catch them for its own dinner.  

Down in the sea lives a flatfish called a dab. As it moves along the seabed, its skin color changes to match the background. If it were placed on a chessboard, the dab would become checkered.  

Of all the color-changing creatures, the chameleon has the biggest color range. To blend in with its surroundings, and thus remain unnoticed, its skin can switch from black to yellow, from blue to red! 

 

Matter of Survival 

Let us pause for a moment and pose a question. Imagine that you were dissatisfied with the color of your skin. Perhaps you had freckles and wish you hadn’t. Perhaps you had no freckles and wished you had. Do you think that standing in front of a mirror, repeating time and time again, “Skin, grow freckles” or “Freckles, disappear,” would change your appearance?  

However hard we try, we cannot (without external means) alter either the color or texture of our skin or hair. Animals, however, can. How did they learn this obviously difficult task? Is it possible, for example, that originally the toads were colored bright orange? When they discovered that gaudy colors were attracting the attention of predators, they held an emergency meeting of the International Confederation of Toads to discuss their plight. One inspired toad put forward the suggestion that they should all change their skin color to adapt to the environment. The motion was carried unanimously (with loud cheers of “Toad-ah-rabbah”) and henceforth the toads lived happily ever after.  

Do you believe in fairy tales? Let us be clear. Animals’ necessity to camouflage is not a game. It is a matter of survival. If they did not have the capability of successfully concealing themselves (the very best that human predators – soldiers – can do is to stick some twigs in their helmets) they must have been endowed with the necessary machinery and instincts from the beginning of their existence. 

 

Creatures in Costume 

There is a small insect found in tropical rain forests called the Javanese leaf insect. Even if you chose that location for your Lag B’Omer outing, it is unlikely that you would find it, for it mimics the leaf to perfection. Its skin looks like the skin of a real leaf, green and rubbery, and even the detailed structure of a central rib and veins are faithfully reproduced. It has marks on its body to resemble holes in a dying leaf, and even its legs look like curled-up leaves. Lying still, the insect is virtually undetectable.  

In the same rain forest, the less friendly boa constrictor’s skin does not mimic its surroundings. It is, however, highly effective at blending with the characteristic dappling of sunlight filtering through leaves in exactly the same way as military camouflage is used (or, to be more precise, military camouflage tries to copy the methods used by animals).  

Zebras, which live on the African grasslands where lions are often out looking for a meal, confuse their mortal enemy by their distinctive stripes, which in bright daylight can disguise their shape. In the dim light of dawn or dusk, the stripes seem to blend together and help the zebras blend into the background. What is even more remarkable is that young zebras have their striped coats from birth, so that they can hide in the herd with the mother zebra, where the stripes of all the zebras blend together. 

 

Masters of Disguise  

If you are looking for real ingenuity in disguise, consider the decorator crab. This crab, which lives in the sea, disguises its presence by covering its body with objects from the seabed. It uses seaweed, bits of sponge and mosses to complete the cover.  

Amazingly, all these objects are attached to the back of the crab by thousands of tiny hooked bristles which cover its entire body. Those bristles did not grow by accident!  

In contrast, the squid, which shares the ocean floor as its habitat, ejects a small cloud of ink, roughly the shape and size of itself, and then slips away while the enemy is distracted by the ink cloud. What equipment does the squid require to produce and eject ink, and who told it what its shape is? Does it have a mirror? 

 

Animals in Winter Coats 

No one likes to be conspicuous. Would you like to wear a bright red kippah in shul on Yom Kippur where everyone is wearing white? Similarly, animals with dark coats would easily be seen in the snow.  

Fortunately for them – “them” being the snowy owl, the polar bear, the snowshoe hare, the stoat, and the lemming, among others – they grow a white coat to help them hide. Some are white or pale-colored all year round, whereas others change the color of their coat to suit the season.  

The ptarmigan is a bird which has a white coat in winter, but in spring starts to grow its speckled brown summer coat. The male keeps his white coat far longer than the female, because hunters will see him before they spot the well-camouflaged female, who is sitting on her eggs! Accident or design? The answer is clear – this cannot be an accident. 

The message cannot be hidden or disguised. Animal camouflage is so clever, so cunning, and so vital to its very existence, that the design involved cannot be concealed. The truth cannot be camouflaged! There must be a master Designer. 

Mabrouk – July 2024

Births – Baby Boy 

Mr. & Mrs. Zack Kaplan 

Norman & Michelle Cohen 

Mr. & Mrs. Nechemia Katz 

Joe & Julie Araman 

Ike & Amy Gammal 

Jack & Mollie Tawil 

David & Alberta Sutton 

Abie & Raquel Tawil 

Nathan & Florence Chera 

 

Births – Baby Girl 

Steven & Madeleine Jemal 

Ralph & Michelle Mizrahi 

David & Lily Shalom 

Eliot & Esther Sasson 

Joey & Estelle Levy 

David & Keren Levy 

Jack & Sara Mishaan 

 

Bar Mitzvahs 

Gabe, son of Jack and Suzy Haber 

Aryeh, son of Mr. and Mrs. Elliot Warren 

 

Engagements  

Joe Massre to Barbara Salama 

Robbie Edery to Kalya Meshulam 

Albert Zeitoune to Bella Sakal 

Danny Amar to Shirley Cohen 

Nate Baranoff to Lillie Maleh 

Judah Cohen to Michelle Mitta 

 

Weddings 

Albert Terzi to Karen Harari 

Daniel Mahlof to Leeor Savin

Sailing Relationships with R’ Ali

QUESTION:  

Dear Rabbi Ali, 

I am gaining so much clarity from your monthly articles. Thank you. I do have an issue that has been bothering me for quite some time. I’m married for 17 years, and my wife has a comment about almost everything I do – the way that I dress or eat, where I go and who I’m with, etc. She gets upset and criticizes me regarding these things and it’s getting worse. Any insights would be greatly appreciated.
 

R’ ALI’S RESPONSE: 

This type of question regarding criticism is a common one  I receive from both men and women. Here, I would like to give some perspective and tips for the reader, as a condensed version of a number of emails I exchanged with the questioner.   

First, let’s talk about the one who criticizes. We should all be aware that criticism is damaging to any relationship and is unacceptable. Acknowledging that you may be too critical or negative is the first step towards minimizing your criticism.  

Frequently I hear, “But I was triggered.” You may have a valid point, but you are not justified in delivering harsh criticism. At the end of the day, we all have free will to decide how we will react to any situation. This doesn’t mean keeping quiet when something’s bothering you. It means you need to find a more appropriate way of expressing yourself than by using criticism. This is similar to what we try to teach children about speaking appropriately. We should aim to learn how to talk things out maturely and calmly. For some people this comes naturally, for others it doesn’t. Don’t feel bad if it’s a challenge for you. With some hard work, you can get it right. 

Now let’s look at  the one being criticized. There are really two issues here, criticism and control. “You’re going to wear that? No way!” is control. “You know you look ridiculous,” is criticism. My general approach to this situation is to state your case kindly but firmly and to stick to the topic.  

Don’t let your spouse’s reaction steer you off course. For example, as a response to the previous critical comments you can say, “I understand that this shirt is not your type, however I’m going to wear it. I like it very much.” When your spouse responds with something like, “I can’t believe you. Why do you have to be different?” Stay on track. “I value your opinion. However, I am buying this shirt.” 

As for criticism, it can come in a different form such as hurtful words or a put down. These should be handled in a different manner. If critical remarks happen only once in a while, and it’s clear that it’s because your spouse is in a bad mood when it happens, the best thing to do would be to ignore it and move on. It is hard, but very doable. However, if the criticism is a constant, you should let your spouse know how you feel. You can say, “It hurts me when you speak like that.” Stating how you feel (an “I” statement) and not shifting the blame onto your spouse is the safest and easiest way to get your message across in a non-threatening way.  

Some people will let their spouse know that they are hurt, however it will come across as an attack. This approach won’t accomplish anything. Remember, the goal is to put a stop to the criticism, not to vent. It’s very hard to debate an emotion. If you are clearly stating how you feel versus what they did wrong, there’s not much to talk about. Even if it seems like your spouse rejects what you have said, most likely the message got across.  

You may need to repeat this message a few more times. However, from my experience it almost always works. Of course, your timing and your tone is important and you will have to figure out the best way to say how you feel and when to say it.  

This tip works for the most part if it is done right. The hard part is resisting the emotional roller coaster. Don’t take the bait of entering into an argument and you’ll be fine. Your spouse will eventually accept your decisions.  Remember it’s a balance of being both kind and firm. The firm without the kind won’t work out too well. If we’re patient and persistent, with Hashem’s help we’re sure to have smooth sailing relationships.

Riddles – July 2024

RIDDLES

RIDDLE: The Missing Dollar
Submitted by: Ellen B.

Three friends check into a hotel room that costs $30. They each contribute $10. Later, the hotel manager realizes there was a mistake -the room should have only cost $25. The manager gives $5 to the bellboy and asks him to return it to the guests. The bellboy, however, decides to keep $2 for himself and gives $1 back to each guest. Now, each guest has paid $9 (totaling $27) and the bellboy has $2, making a total of $29. What happened to the missing dollar?

 

Last Month’s Riddle: Word Quest

A word I know, six letters it contains. Remove one letter, and 12 remain. What is it?

Solution: Dozens

Solved by: Morris Kabani, H. Soleimani, The Big Cheese, Jack Beyda, Maurice Dwek, Janet S., The Shmulster, and The Blum Family.

 

JUNIOR RIDDLE: Common Cents
Submitted by: Robert T.

In my hand, I have two coins that are newly minted. Together, they total 30 cents. One isn’t a nickel. What are the coins?

 

Last Month’s Junior Riddle: Purr-suit of Fitness

A cat wants to get in better shape. It’s going to start by climbing the stairs. Starting on the fourth floor, the cat climbs up five stories, down seven stories, up six stories, down three stories, and up four stories again. What floor is the cat on?

Solution: The cat is on the ninth floor!

Solved by: Family Blum, Big Mike, Morris Kabani, H. Soleimani, The Beyda Family, The Shmulster, Meryl D., and Ralph Shrem.

SIMHA – Providing the Sephardic Community with Mental Health Services and Critical Leadership Training Classes

Sandy Eller 

It was exactly one year after the onset of COVID that SIMHA, the Sephardic Initiative for Mental Health Awareness, first opened its doors to address the ongoing need for assistance in the Sephardic community, with a wide range of services and programming.  Having been contacted by local rabbanim, kallah teachers, community leaders, and others about a variety of complex and sensitive issues, Rabbi David Sutton, SIMHA’s founder and director, realized that members of the Sephardic community needed access to high quality professional mental health care.  He understood what life was like for those who were struggling with anxiety, depression, various disorders, addiction, and other issues. And in his mind’s eye, Rabbi Sutton envisioned them as being stranded in the ocean, surrounded by sharks and battered by uncontrollable tides.   

“SIMHA was created to be that island of safety,” explained Rabbi Sutton.  “Someone who speaks to a friend might experience some comfort, but they are still in the ocean, fighting that tide and those sharks.  When they reach out to SIMHA, we become that island for them, providing them with a safe haven, and getting them on the road to recovery.” 

SIMHA provides clients with free comprehensive assessments, the first step in addressing mental health issues. Evaluations are done in person and can take an hour or longer to complete, giving SIMHA’s licensed clinicians an opportunity to identify the root problem instead of just treating its symptoms.  Oftentimes, clients may reach out to SIMHA to discuss a particular issue, when in reality, the actual matter is something completely different.  Such was the case with one man who contacted SIMHA to discuss what he described as a marital problem.  

“After doing the assessment, it turned out that the husband was struggling with a severe anxiety disorder that was negatively affecting their marriage,” said Dr. Eli Mandelbaum, SIMHA’s director of clinical coordination.  “Sending him for shalom bayit classes or to a marriage therapist wouldn’t have helped.” 

SIMHA’s licensed clinicians draw on their training and considerable experience as mental health professionals to develop an accurate understanding of their clients, as well as their unique situations.  In addition to clarifying the actual problem at hand, they provide support and psychoeducation from the start. And clients often find the intake process to be therapeutic, even though SIMHA’s clinicians do not provide actual therapy services.  

Referrals are the next step in the continuum of care. Clinicians search SIMHA’s extensive database of approximately 800 therapists, psychiatrists, and facilities to find the one that is best suited to the client.  While the process is both thorough and time consuming, referrals are typically made within 24 hours of an assessment. Most of those practitioners are located in the New York – New Jersey area and, if need be, are insurance-based.  SIMHA also has access to well-known experts in the field who don’t necessarily work with insurance.   

“Over 50 percent of our clients see clinicians that take insurance, and we try to work within their budget,” noted Rabbi Sutton.  “We do our best to make it work for them, and have met hundreds of clinicians, and gone down to dozens of clinics so that we could locate affordable care.” 

Other factors are also at play in the referral process, according to Dr. Mandelbaum.  Clinicians consider whether a particular therapist and the client are a good match, in addition to considering availability, personal preferences, such as gender, and whether the client wants to do in-person or telehealth sessions.   

“All of this happens collaboratively,” explained Dr. Mandelbaum.  “We connect with the clinician first and get the green light from them, and then we tell the client who we came up with for them.” 

SIMHA’s involvement doesn’t end with sharing a therapist’s contact information with the client.  Clinicians are more than ready to help schedule appointments for their clients, and they also make follow-up phone calls to hear how the initial conversation went.  In cases where clients who had initially agreed to schedule their own appointments decide not to follow through, SIMHA’s clinicians switch into case management mode, pinpointing the reason for the hesitation, and shifting gears, if necessary.  

“If that clinician doesn’t work for them, we’ll find them another one,” said Dr. Mandelbaum.  If they didn’t call for a particular reason, we can discuss those unstated reasons so that the process can continue.” 

SIMHA’s ongoing support also includes reviewing clients’ progress, making sure that they are receiving the care they need to remedy the problem at hand.  The fact that SIMHA’s clinicians stay in touch with their clients means that if something goes wrong, they are there to jump in right away and make the necessary corrections. 

“We’ve had countless examples of people falling off the train,” said Rabbi Sutton. “It takes handholding to get them back on.” 

Education is an important and ongoing component of the clinical coordination process, shedding light on topics that can be sensitive and unfamiliar.  At times it might be something as simple as explaining what anxiety or depression are, or validating their feelings.  In other instances, it might include simply understanding the therapy process and how to get the most out of treatment. 

“I’ve had clients tell me that they need a new therapist because they don’t like what their therapist has said about a certain thing,” said Dr. Mandelbaum. “I tell them to talk to their therapist and let them know, just like you would tell a restaurant that they burned your steak. It is important for clients to know that they are the customer, and that being open and forthcoming with their therapist helps the treatment process.” 

In addition to opening over 500 new cases a year, and providing mental health services to community members in Brooklyn, Deal, and Lakewood, SIMHA is also tackling contemporary mental health challenges from the educational side, offering training courses to provide local mentors with life-saving tools to address mental health issues, since few are trained in the field. 

“Much like a Hatzalah member’s job isn’t to do heart surgery, but rather to stabilize patients and get them the help they need, our goal at SIMHA is to give our first responders the tools they need to react, whether they are community rabbis, rebbetzins, kallah teachers, shadchanim, nutritionists, or anyone else who might pick up on the first telltale signs of a mental health challenge,” explained Rabbi Sutton.  “These courses teach how to navigate sensitive situations and guide people to professional help when needed.” 

Dr. Shloimie Zimmerman, Director of SIMHA’s rabbinical training program, developed and led the men’s 24-week program, while Dr. Sarah Miller ran the women’s cohort.  Both programs were designed to provide participants with tools to provide care and guidance with compassion and dignity, and included an emphasis on validation, empathy, and numerous other skills.   

“The role of the rabbi has changed over the years,” observed Rabbi Joseph Dana of the West Deal Synagogue.  “Rabbis don’t just give speeches from the pulpit – they are expected to advise on an array of matters that aren’t taught in kollel.” 

“I used to try and actively solve people’s problems,” added Rabbi David Nakash, who runs the Bnei Aliyah minyan at Shaarei Zion.  “I’ve since learned that listening empathetically and offering guidance is far more effective.” 

The classes were an introduction to SIMHA for some participants, including Rebbetzin Sandra Mansour of the Safra Synagogue, who was gratified to realize the many services being offered to community members who struggle with mental health issues.  Mrs. Renelle Maslaton, Principal of Bet Yaakov Yesodot HaTorah, felt that the art of active listening was one of the key takeaways of the program.   

 “Dr. Miller’s practical teaching style gave us the ability to take ideas that we already knew, as well as lots of new information, and put them into practice,” said Mrs. Maslaton.  “Taking the time to really hear what someone is saying, including being conscious of what goes unspoken, is incredibly important.” 

Those thoughts were echoed by Rebbetzin Aviva Ben Haim of Bnei Shaarei Zion, who gained skills that helped her through an issue with a particular student that had been plaguing her for years. 

“The course was excellent,” said Rebbetzin Ben Haim.  “Dr. Miller was very practical and I think that all of us who took these classes can honestly say that we are grateful to SIMHA for empowering us and giving us the tools we need to better serve our communities.” 

Even as it continues to evolve to meet communal needs on multiple fronts, SIMHA remains steadfastly committed to its founding mission – helping those who are struggling with dignity, skill, and compassion. 

Baruch Hashem, mental health issues are no longer being swept under the proverbial rug,” noted Rabbi Sutton.  “SIMHA is grateful to be able to play a part in shattering stigmas, so that no one has to suffer in silence.  Help is literally right around the corner.” 

If you or someone you know need guidance, advice or assistance, SIMHA is ready to offer help.  Call or text 718-675-3000 or email office@simhahealth.org.

The Lighter Side – July 2024

Dishwasher Repair

Old Mrs. Shpeilman lived alone except for her dog and her parrot. One day, Mrs. Shpeilman’s dishwasher stopped working so she called a repairman. Since she had to spend the day at her daughter’s house the next day, she told the repairman, “I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I’ll mail you a check.”

And, by the way, don’t worry about my bulldog. He won’t bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot! I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!”
When the repairman arrived at Mrs. Shpeilman’s apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest-looking bulldog he had ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just sat there on the carpet, watching the repairman go about his work.

The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling and name calling. Finally, the repairman couldn’t contain himself any longer and yelled, “Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!”

To which the parrot replied, “Get him, Spike!”

Mark B.

Unwanted Gift

Figuring that her four-year-old son Max was listening in the next room, Shira decided to tell her husband David the birthday gift she had bought for Max by spelling out the words “fire truck.”

David nodded and said, “I think it would be a great gift.”

From the other side of the wall, they heard little Max yell, “I don’t want letters for my birthday!”

Rena T.

Computer Is Down

Rachel’s new office computer system was down as much as it was working, so she had to stay late one evening to catch up on the work that had accumulated. On her way home, a police officer stopped her for speeding.

“What a perfect end to an awful day!” Rochel exclaimed. “Our computer is up, then down – up, then down. I stay late to catch up, and now this!”

The officer was unaffected by Rochel’s griping, and he went to his car to prepare a citation. After what seemed like an eternity, he returned with her license and registration. As he handed them to her, he smiled and said, “Sorry for taking so long, our computer was down.”

Chuck D.

Breakfast Barter

Talia, a young mother was preparing breakfast for her two young sons Moishie and Shmueli, five and three years old, respectively. They were arguing over who would get the first pancake.

Talia, trying to instill good morals in her sons, asked them to think about their favorite rabbi, Rabbi Felder and asked, “What do you think Rabbi Felder would do in this instance? I think he would say, ‘Let my brother have the first pancake.’”

Moishie quickly turned to Shmueli and said, “You be Rabbi Felder!”

Sharon M.

Frum Chess Player

Abe meets his friend Morris on the train one morning. “Hello Morris,” he says, “where are you off to so early?”

“I’m on my way to visit my grandpa,” replies Morris. “We’re going to play chess.”

“Didn’t you once tell me that your grandpa was a good chess player?” asks Abe.

“Yes,” replies Morris. “And he still is.”

“And isn’t he also very frum?” asks Abe.

“He sure is,” replies Morris. “In fact, our family calls him the frumest chess player in the world.”

“Why do you call him that?” asks Abe.

“Because he uses a special chess set he had made up to his own specification – a chess set where the king and the bishops have been replaced by rabbis.”

Eddie Z.

Fore!

Sol and Morty belonged to a country club outside of Boca. They were having a conversation one day after a round of golf.

“Morty, why don’t you play golf with Mel anymore?” asked Sol.

“Would you play golf with a guy who moved the ball with his foot when you weren’t watching?” Morty asked.

“Well, no,” admitted Sol.

“Neither will Mel,” replied Morty.

Jamie A.

One-Liners

Q: What did the ocean say to the beach?
A: Nothing. It just waved!

Q: Why aren’t lobsters generous?
A: Because they’re shellfish!

Q: Where do birds stay when they go on summer vacation?
A: Someplace cheep!
Victor G.

The Missing Door

Chaim Yankel checked into a hotel for his first ever hotel stay. He goes up to his room and five minutes later, he calls the desk and says, “You’ve given me a room with no exit. How do I leave?”

The desk clerk says, “Sir, that’s absurd. Have you looked for the door?”

Chaim Yankel says, “Well, there’s one door that leads to the bathroom. There’s a second door that goes into the closet. And there’s a door I haven’t tried, but it has a ‘Do not disturb’ sign on it.”

Moshe H.

Baby Doctor

Susan’s nephew Steven was four when she was pregnant with her first child. She allowed Steven to place his hand on her belly and feel the baby kick.

His little face scrunched as he asked, “How does the baby get out of there?”

Susan smiled and said, “The doctor will help.”

Steven’s eyes widened in amazement as he exclaimed, “You’ve got a doctor in there, too?”

Lisa E.

Bank Statement

Alex is sitting in his office one morning when his phone rings.

“Mr. Minkovsky,” says the caller, “my name is Peter Burton and I’m the manager of your bank. As you know, you hold your business account with us and I’m calling to inform you that at close of business yesterday, your account was overdrawn by nearly $600.”

“Thank you mister bank manager for letting me know this,” replies Alex. “Do you have access to my account statements for the last three months?”

“Yes, I have them in front of me,” replies the bank manager.

“So, could you tell me what was my account balance at the end of each of the last three months?” asks Alex.

“Yes, of course,” replies the bank manager. “Over the last three months, your account ended the month in credit by $789.26, $1,245.90, and $444.01.”

“So nu, mister bank manager,” says Alex, “Did I phone you up on those occasions?”

Jeff W.

Talking Turkey

Chaim Yankel decided to venture out of his native Chelm to get a job in a nearby city working at the grocery store. On his first day, a lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn’t find one big enough for her family.

She asked Chaim Yankel, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”

Chaim Yankel replied, “No, they’re dead.”

Mazal F.

Emotional Wellness – Spending Time Alone 

Rabbi David Sutton and Dr. David Katzenstein, LCSW-R 

In Alei Shur (Vol. II,p. 276), Rav Wolbe discusses the importance of self-awareness, daat hadaat. In order to become self-aware, Rav Wolbe prescribes hitbonenut, contemplation, whereby one delves into and tunes into himself. It means really listening to what’s going on inside of us, paying attention to ourselves. 

Rav Wolbe cites Rav Yitzchak Hutner (Rosh yeshivah of Yeshivas Rabbi Chaim Berlin), who relates an anecdote involving the Alter of Slabodka, Rav Nosson Tzvi Finkel. 

The Alter was once sitting with his students when he began to think out loud. “The soul is greater than angels. If a person has a revelation of himself, he has had a revelation that’s greater than gilui Eliyahu, the revelation of Eliyahu HaNavi!” 

When we hear a story about an individual who was zocheh to gilui Eliyahu, we may be impressed. Wow!Gilui Eliyahu! However, we must realize that an even greater revelation, a greater gilui, is realizing who we are. 

It’s hard to truly get to know ourselves. We like to fool ourselves into believing that we are tzaddikim, justifying ourselves and our actions, rather than delving into who we really are. But it is imperative that we go through the difficulty of finding out who we really are, to see what’s going on “under the hood.” And the only way to get to know ourselves, posits Rav Wolbe, is by spending some time alone, which he calls “sha’ah shel hitbodedut” (an hour of solitude). 

What should we do during this time? 

We must listen to the many thoughts competing for space in our brains, but also, to the will of Gd that is inside of us. We are to delve, contemplate, and sift through the voices, to become aware of our thoughts and our motivations. 

As Rav Wolbe sees it, most people avoid being alone. Because when they’re alone, they grow bored. And, as he puts it, if someone is bored when he is alone, that’s a sign that he’s entirely distanced from himself. This is one of the pitfalls of living in a yeshivah or seminary dormitory, where a young man or young woman is always surrounded by people, and never has the opportunity to think. 

But this problem continues throughout life. We continuously create background noise to avoid listening to the voices in our mind. When going for a jog, we wear earbuds. When driving in the car, we turn on the radio or music. There must always be something else going on. We can’t be alone, lest we succumb to boredom. 

Often it is more than mere boredom that impedes our capacity to sit and contemplate our inner processes. In contemporary Western society, we can become so rushed and overstimulated that doing “nothing” can foster a distinct sense of discomfort, which can quickly evolve into a kind of restless anxiety. 

A man hails a taxi. As he enters the car, he pleads with the driver to hurry. When inquired about the location of his destination, the man replies: “I have no idea, just get there quickly.” 

This is the life we live. We are so busy running that we forget where we are heading.

Feeling stressed or overwhelmed? Take time off, by yourself, to take a walk. Don’t talk on the phone, don’t plan your day or your menu, don’t even listen to music, just BE!

The Best of Both Worlds – Yeshivat Magen Abot’s Debut in Deal, NJ

Victor Cohen 

“Where should I send my child to school?” 

All community parents ask this question as their children reach school age. Parents look for a school that they believe will best educate their children in the way that matches their values. 

There is no one correct answer as to where to send one’s children to school. We have been blessed with multiple schools for our children, each with its own strengths and unique character. Parents may choose a specific school due to its teaching style, location, or even the sports teams. Each school offers a unique perspective that enables its students to shine and prepares them to become tomorrow’s leaders. 

Recently a need for a new school was identified within our community. Yeshivat Magen Abot has been established to fill the need. 

Spearheaded by Rabbi Leon Cohen, this new school strives to preserve and build upon the legacy of our heritage and community, cultivating an environment of Torah that fosters academic excellence and nurtures the unique potential of each child. 

I am honored to have interviewed Rabbi Leon Cohen for this article. We discussed how the founders of the school started out, the people involved, some of the challenges faced, and what the future may hold.  

 

The Need for a New Yeshiva 

Rabbi Cohen explained that while he has had the idea for a new school for many years, only recently has it become not only feasible, but necessary. As he put it, there are two specific needs within the Deal community that he believes Magen Abot can fill: 

For the first time, Deal’s yeshivot are full to capacity due to the exponential growth of the community. Therefore, families who are looking to live in Deal long-term may no longer find room for their children within the existing yeshivot. Therefore, another school is needed to accommodate those newcomers. 

Second, there is a growing number of families in the community who are interested in an equal balance between secular and Judaic studies for their children. While some schools strive for excellence in General Studies, and others in Judaic Studies, at Magen Abot, a balanced approach is designed to be the best synthesis for students to prepare them for the future in our ever-changing world. Both secular and Judaic studies are critical for our children’s success. Magen Abot offers the best of both kinds of education with its dual approach. 

Rabbi Cohen explained how Magen Abot can excel in both areas. He said that the staff he brought on board to teach students were stars in both General Studies and Judaic Studies. As he explained, rather than having either General Studies or Judaic Studies as the primary focus of the school, he wants to put a strong emphasis on both. He continued, “Often, schools have more of a focus on one and less on the other. We want to have both.” 

Rabbi Cohen related a story of how a few years back, a Deal family (both the husband and wife grew up in Deal) ended up moving to Brooklyn to find the educational balance they were seeking. That need not happen, now that Magen Abot is on the map.  

Magen Abot’s website features a short section, “Why now?” It reads: 

           Baruch Hashem, our Deal community is growing tremendously, and our classrooms are being filled at a record pace – and it is precisely from this growth, that our community’s needs are evolving. We have the opportunity now to offer families a unique new boys school option while still enabling the growth of our existing institutions. This will ultimately enable our growing community to grow stronger, together. 

 

Meet the Team 

Rabbi Leon Cohen is the perfect rabbinical leader to spearhead this new endeavor. With twelve years of teaching experience at Hillel Yeshiva and several years of experience at other institutions (including founding Camp MAXX) Rabbi Cohen knows the community well and is attuned to its needs. 

When asked when he knew the time was right to build something new, he responded, “When the landscape allows for it.” According to Rabbi Cohen, the time is ripe. 

Rabbi Cohen recruited Mrs. Raisy Liberman as Magen Abot’s Principal. Mrs. Liberman has over 25 years of experience in both teaching and administration, having worked at Ateret Torah, YDE, Hillel Yeshiva, and The New Seminary. It was deemed that with her exceptional guidance and extensive experience Mrs. Liberman will be a catalyst to enable the school to blossom. 

Rabbi Moshe Douek is Magen Abot’s Rabbinical Chairman. According to Rabbi Cohen, Rabbi Douek has been an integral part of Magen Abot from the beginning, as the two discussed many aspects of planning for the school. As Rabbi Cohen put it, Rabbi Douek has been particularly helpful because they were “both cut from the same cloth.” Besides being the head rabbi of the Eatontown Synagogue (Congregation Shaare Tefillah Bene Moshe), Rabbi Douek has been a leading force in our community for years, and he now lends his personal credibility to the new school. 

Samuel F. Hassine has been chosen as the school’s Chairman of the Board, and has been involved extensively in the logistical and business side of opening up the school.

  

Overcoming Challenges 

Creating a new school from scratch is a tremendous endeavor. Rabbi Cohen noted the following three challenges he and his team faced: 

Securing Capital – Gaining funding is a challenge for any institution. Rabbi Cohen recognizes, “A school can’t survive on tuition alone.” Therefore, fundraising has been a central focus for the school’s team. Kudos to Mr. Hassine, who was instrumental in providing the initial funding needed to get Magen Abot off the ground. 

The new Founder’s Wall was created as one solution to bringing in needed funds. Baruch Hashem, squares and plaques are selling out quickly, as many want to participate in getting the new yeshiva off the ground. Yet, there are still available dedications for those looking to put their name on this new venture. 

The Surrounding Schools – Rabbi Cohen wanted to ensure that  Magen Abot would not be “intruding” on the other neighboring schools, or even have that appearance. In the spirit of securing amicable relationships, Rabbi Cohen initially shared his vision for Magen Abot with Rabbi Saul Kassin and Sammy Saka of Hillel Yeshiva, and with Rabbi Mordechai Dabbah of Yeshivat Keter Torah. They all gave him their blessings to move forward. 

Location – When searching for a suitable location for their school, the team came across the IVY Hedge Early Childhood Learning Center, which is right behind Monmouth Hot Bagel Bakery, Deal’s premiere kosher bagel store. With the classrooms set up already, and even a playground on-site, this turned out to be the perfect location for Magen Abot. And there is even room to grow. 

According to Rabbi Cohen, this building was one of many gifts to Magen Abot from Hashem. As he put it, if you’re doing the right thing for the right reasons, leshem Shamayim, Hashem will support your efforts and bring the right pieces into place for its success. Rabbi Cohen noted that up until now, though they have faced challenges, things have largely worked out for them, and it is because of this that he believes the implementation of this new school is what Hashem wants. 

 

What’s Next? 

Rabbi Cohen’s vision is to build up Magen Abot one year at a time, one grade at a time. The school will  open with two divisions, a pre-school from ages two through kindergarten, and a grade school of kindergarten -1st grade. Bezrat Hashem, each year another class will be opened up, starting with second grade a year from now. 

As for the future, decisions will be made appropriately. It will be some time before the school expands to eighth grade. At the right time the Magen Abot team will decide if a high school is needed. If there is a need, and the students’ families support the opening of a high school, then, bezrat Hashem, Magen Abot will move to open a high school, as well. 

Yeshivat Magen Abot is proud to open up their yeshiva this fall for their first year. We are all watching excitedly to see how this brand-new school impacts the Deal area for years to come.

Fortifying Our Ideological Walls

It is doubtful whether there was another anti-Semite as dangerous as Bilam, the gentile seer about whom we read this month, who attempted to place a curse upon Beneh Yisrael so they would be annihilated.  Gd prevented Bilam  from placing this curse, transforming his curses into beautiful blessings. 

There were other enemies who desired and planned to annihilate the entire Jewish nation, but Bilam was likely the one with the greatest capabilities to succeed.  Hitler ym”sh had to contend with world powers who stood in his way, and Haman’s plot depended on the goodwill of Ahashverosh, which proved fickle.  Bilam, however, had the key.  The Gemara (Berachot 7a) teaches that Bilam knew the precise moment of the day when Gd becomes angry, and planned to curse Beneh Yisrael at that time.  Bilam had special “inside information” about when Beneh Yisrael lost the protection of Gd’s special love and affection for them.  It seemed like a foolproof plan – but Gd saved His nation by not growing angry at all during the period when Bilam attempted to place his curse upon them. 

Ironically, Bilam also gave us the most precious gift we could receive – telling us, very explicitly, how we are protected from our enemies, what prevents them from executing their plan to destroy us. 

 

The Letters of Isolation 

In his first blessing, Bilam explains why Gd did not permit him to curse Beneh Yisrael: “Hen am levadad yishkon uvagoyim lo yit’hashav – They are a nation that dwells in solitude, and it is not counted among the other peoples” (Bamidbar 23:9).  We are protected from our enemies’ “curses,” from their attempts to harm us, when we dwell alone, in “isolation,” retaining our distinct identity, values, traditions and lifestyles.  Throughout our history, there have been Jews who thought that we can earn the gentiles’ favor through assimilation, by living as they do, by embracing their beliefs and customs.  But Bilam revealed to us the truth – that it is specifically through our remaining “badad,” separate and distinct, that we earn Gd’s protection. 

Notably, Bilam here uses the word “hen” – the feminine form of the word “hem” (they).  Normally, a group of people consisting of both men and women are referred to with the word “hem,” yet, for some reason, Bilam chooses “hen.” 

The commentators explain the significance of the word “hen” in this context based on the shared quality of the two letters that comprise this word – heh and nun.  The gematria (numerical value) of heh is 5, and of nun is 50.  These two letters have no “partner.”  To form 10, the number 1 is joined with the number 9; the number 2 is joined with the number 8, and so on, but 5 has no other number that it can pair with to form 10.  Of course, the same is true of the number 50 when it comes to reaching 100.  It has no “partner;” there is no other multiple of 10 with which it can combine to form 100. 

This is the deeper meaning of Bilam’s pronouncement, “Hen am levadad yishkon.”  The Jewish Nation is like heh and nun – alone, without ever joining a different nation. 

Developing this point further, in addition to the standard 22 letters of the Hebrew alphabet, there are also five otiyot sofiyot – special letters that appear at the end of words.  A chaf at the end of a word is changed to a special letter known as chaf sofit, and this is true also of the letters mem, nun, peh, and tzadi.  As these five letters are added at the end of the alphabet, their gematria values continue the final letters of the alphabet.  The last four letters – kuf, resh, shin, and tav – equal, respectively, the numbers 100, 200, 300 and 400, incrementally increasing by 100.  Accordingly, the chaf sofit equals 500; the mem sofit equals 600; the nun sofit equals 700; the peh sofit equals 800; and the tzadi sofit equals 900.  Among these five letters, each can be paired with a different one to form 1,000 – except the chaf sofit, which equals 500, and thus has no partner. 

It turns out, then, that heh, nun and chaf sofit are what we might call the three “letters of isolation,” letters which signify solitude and separateness, remaining alone and distinct. 

On this basis, some have explained the verse in Shir Hashirim (1:15) in which Gd exclaims about the Jewish Nation, “Hinach yafah ra’ayati – Behold, my beloved, you are beautiful.”  The word hinach is formed by these three letters – heh, nun and chaf sofit.  We are truly “beautiful” in Gd’s eyes when we retain our distinctive identity, when we remain isolated, when we resist the lure of foreign influence, and preserve our unique traditions, values and lifestyle. 

 

Breaching Yaakov Avinu’s Wall 

The rabbis associate Bilam with Lavan – the uncle and father-in-law of our patriarch Yaakov, with whom Yaakov lived for twenty years.  Some claim that Bilam and Lavan were actually the same person (which would mean that he lived an exceptionally long life), whereas others maintain that Bilam was a descendant of Lavan, or a gilgul – a reincarnation of Lavan’s soul.  Regardless, these two villains are seen as closely connected to one another. 

The story of Yaakov and Lavan reflects this theme of “levadad yishkon,” Am Yisrael’s isolation from other nations.  As mentioned, Yaakov lived in Lavan’s home and married his daughters, until the time came for him to leave and return to the Land of Israel.  After he left, Lavan frantically pursued him, and angrily berated him.  Finally, Yaakov and Lavan made a truce, and committed to keep away from one another.  Yaakov and his family assembled stones and set up a wall to form a physical separation between them and Lavan, and Yaakov and Lavan both promised not to cross that wall for the purpose of inflicting harm on the other (Beresheet 31:48-53).  This wall represents the barriers that we must erect between us and the other nations, the preservation of our distinct identity, faith, values and lifestyle. 

Interestingly enough, the Midrash draws a connection between this wall and the story of Bilam. 

As Bilam journeyed to Moav, the nation which had summoned him to curse Beneh Yisrael, an angel sent by Gd tried blocking Bilam’s path on three separate occasions.  The second time was when Bilam traveled on a road surrounded on both sides by a wall, and the angel obstructed the way.  Bilam’s donkey, attempting to circumvent the obstacle, crushed Bilam’s leg against one of the side walls, injuring him (Bamidbar 22:25).  The Midrash comments that this wall was none other than the structure which Yaakov Avinu had built as a symbol of the separation between him and Lavan.  Bilam – who was either Lavan himself, or an heir of Lavan – violated the oath that was taken, by crossing this point with the intention of annihilating Yaakov’s offspring.  For this reason, his leg was crushed against this wall, as a punishment for violating his word. 

Bilam’s strategy was to cross the barrier, to break the separation between Beneh Yisrael and other nations.  He understood that the only way to cause Beneh Yisrael’s downfall was by erasing this dividing line, and bringing Beneh Yisrael under foreign influence.  However, he quickly discovered that this attempt failed, as Gd forced him to pronounce, “Hen am levadad yishkon” – that Beneh Yisrael indeed lived in a state of badad, separate and apart from the other nations of the world. 

 

The Tragedy of Ba’al Pe’or 

Sadly, Bilam’s efforts did not entirely fail. 

After Bilam’s three unsuccessful attempts to curse Beneh Yisrael, the king of Moav angrily sent him home.  Before he left, however, Bilam unveiled a sinister plot through which Moav could defeat Gd’s treasured nation.  He advised the people of Moav to set up shops to catch Beneh Yisrael’s attention, and the women running the stores would then lure their new customers to immorality and idol-worship.  This scheme nearly succeeded, as many among Beneh Yisrael engaged in illicit relationships with Moavite women, and worshipped their deity, Ba’al Pe’or.  In response, Gd unleashed a plague which killed 24,000 members of the nation.  He later told Moshe that He would have annihilated Beneh Yisrael entirely if not for Pinhas’ act of zealotry, striking two public violators (Bamidbar 25:11). 

Tragically, Bilam found a way to “breach the wall,” to bring Beneh Yisrael together with other nations.  Having been unable to curse Beneh Yisrael because “levadad yishkon,” they were living separate and apart from other peoples, he urged Moav to entice Beneh Yisrael, to catch their attention and draw them close, and once this happened, Beneh Yisrael found themselves worshipping Ba’al Pe’or, a foreign deity, for which they were nearly eradicated. 

In our reality, of course, we cannot live “badad” in the sense of physical or geographic isolation.  No one is realistically recommending that we seclude ourselves and avoid all interaction with non-Jews.  This is neither feasible nor desirable; to the contrary, interacting with gentiles allows us the opportunity to create a kiddush Hashem, to bring glory to our nation and to Gd Himself.  But while we are not suggesting erecting physical barriers between us and other peoples, it is imperative that we build and maintain ideological barriers.  If Moav succeeded in luring Beneh Yisrael away from Gd by drawing their attention through their alluring merchandise, what can be said about our current situation, where distractions and lures are all around us.  

We are more vulnerable than ever to the modern-day versions of Ba’al Pe’or, to foreign values and lifestyles, which our society markets to us as morally and intellectually superior to our ancient religion.  For Torah and the Jewish Nation to survive, we must remain “levadad,” separate and alone.  We must not fear or feel intimidated by the scorn and derision with which society views our beliefs and customs.  Our nation exists today precisely because earlier generations heroically resisted foreign influences and retained their fealty to our ancient traditions even in the face of unrelenting pressure.  We must follow their lead, and, especially in our time, continually fortify the ideological and cultural barriers between us and the surrounding society, firmly retaining our unwavering devotion to Gd and to the Torah He gave us at Sinai.