Dear Jido,
As our youngest child was growing up, we noticed that he had very slow development in certain areas. When he turned two and was still not babbling or talking, our pediatrician said not to worry – he was only a late talker. But as he got older, we started noticing other troubling behaviors. We finally took him to a specialist who diagnosed him with autism.
I understand that there are four different schools in our community that treat autism but I was told by people not to send him to two of them because otherwise there would be a “stigma” and he would not be accepted later into the mainstream yeshivas. They also said that the family would have a stigma that might affect shidduchim for his siblings.
Do you have any advice on how we should proceed?
Signed,
Mother with a Stigma
Dear Mother,
I’m trying to understand your question. You have to do what is best for your child now. That is your obligation as a parent. Yes, there are varying degrees of interventions that can be effective in treating autism and he should get the benefit of the one most suited to his needs – even if it means going to a school associated with the most severe cases. Being concerned about what “might” happen down the road should not enter the equation.
My understanding is that the sooner symptoms of autism are treated, the better the chances of your son’s complete recovery. Please don’t let friends and neighbors tell you how to help your child. Go to the experts who have been treating children like your son for many years and let them guide you regardless of what others might “think” about your son years from now. Jido