We are supposed to feel that we are not entitled to anything in this world; everything we have is a totally undeserved gift given to us by Hashem.
One may ask, “If a father brings a child into the world, isn’t he obligated to provide the basic necessities for that child; food, clothing, a place to live? Shouldn’t Hashem be obligated to give us, all of His children, our needs as well, needs that include a home, a job, a spouse, and children? Why don’t we deserve to have all of our needs taken care of?
Rabbi Lugassi explains that there is a very big difference between these two scenarios. When a father brings a child into this world, he wants the child to be as comfortable as possible in this world and therefore he feels obligated to do what he can to ensure that. Hashem, however, created us for a much more profound purpose. This World is just a stepping-stone to the real world, to eternal life.
Man is given a brief, finite length of time here – 70 or 80 years, we hope 120 – to do a task and accomplish what he needs to accomplish. Each person’s task is different. Hashem provides each individual with his or her exact needs to fulfill his or her purpose. For some, it is getting married young. For others, it is getting married at an older age. For some, it is having children. For others, it is not having children.
A person might ask, “Why do I have it so hard? Why do I not have more money? Why do I have so many health problems? Why is Hashem withholding so much good from me?” These would all be valid questions since our purpose was for achievement for This World. Yet, who knows better than Hashem what we really need to be successful and happy for eternity?
Each person’s life is planned out carefully, beginning with which family one is born into and the types of parents one has. Some parents spoil their children, others hold back from their children. People say, “It’s not fair, I have the meanest parents!” It is fair, it was planned like that. That is exactly what your soul needs. A person’s siblings are also Heaven-ordained. The people around him, his friends, his neighbors, are all part of Hashem’s plan for him.
Some people are not happy with the way they look. There are no accidents. Hashem made every feature of every person’s body exactly the way it needs to be. The color of a person’s eyes, one’s complexion, one’s height, the shape of one’s nose, the size of one’s ears – all were calculated.
People who have shalom bayit problems often argue about petty issues: “Why can’t our house be more orderly?” “Why is she spending so much money?” Why can’t he be neater?” Why is he so tight with money?” The root of their problems is not really the petty issues. If one would believe in perfect faith that Hashem arranged one’s marriage and gave one the spouse he needs to fulfill one’s mission in This World, one would overlook more: “S/he is the other half of my soul, and we need each other to accomplish our goal in This World. Obstacles are just tools for growth. We will work it out, we will get through it.”
The more we can trust that Hashem knows what we need better than we do, and that He provides us with the exact lives we need to do our jobs properly, the better our performance will become and the happier our lives will be.