By Simha Health
If this school year feels to you like a continuous cycle of starting, stopping, and restarting thanks to an early holiday calendar, you are not alone. Between early September drop-offs and the constant holiday breaks, getting our kids – and ourselves – into a sustainable routine can feel overwhelming.
Isaac Setton, LMHC, clinician coordinator and community liaison of the SIMHA Organization, hosted a valuable discussion with esteemed school psychologists Mrs. Rose Lee Pifko of Magen David Yeshivah, Dr. Nicole Yossef of Yeshivah Prep Elementary School, and Dr. Simone Hidary of Barkai Yeshivah, who shared their expert insights on supporting our children and navigating this critical transition.
Embrace Challenges and Learn from Mistakes
A powerful takeaway was the importance of parents shifting from being “fixers and protectors” to “empowerers.” As Mrs. Rose Lee Pifko noted, allowing children to tackle challenges and even make mistakes is crucial for development.
“The growth zone, just outside their comfort area, is where real learning happens,” Mrs. Pifko explained. When children tolerate discomfort and push through challenges, they build skills like grit and resilience. This means gently nudging them to try new things, whether it’s a new club or a tricky social situation.
The experts highlighted the value of teaching children how to fail. By reframing failure as “just one possible outcome,” parents can alleviate the pressure. Share with your children your own experiences with mistakes and challenges, show empathy, and use these moments as opportunities to teach problem solving. This approach cultivates a crucial life skill: learning from setbacks.
Re-establishing Routine: The Foundation for Success
After summer and the holiday’s relaxed schedule, getting back into routine can feel daunting. Dr. Nicole Yossef provided practical, actionable steps to ease this transition, emphasizing that consistency is key for children of all ages.
Dr. Yossef’s top tips for a smooth gear shift:
Adjust Sleep Schedules: Gradually shift bedtimes and wake-up times earlier (20-30 minutes each day) to reset internal clocks.
Foster Independence: Involve children in choosing outfits the night before and packing healthy snacks. This gives them a feeling of control and helps to streamlines mornings.
Promote Healthy Eating: A balanced diet impacts mood and focus. Involve children in snack preparation for easier healthy choices.
Encourage Physical Activity: Aim for at least 20-60 minutes daily. Walking to school, playing outdoors, or joining a team improves focus and reduces stress.
Manage Screen Time: Set clear boundaries for screen use, explaining these rules are for their well-being. Encourage alternatives, such as reading.
The goal isn’t perfection, but consistent effort. The more regulated parents are, the more children will mirror that behavior.
The Power of Partnership: Home and School as a Unified Front
“When parents and schools work as a unified team, children receive consistent messaging,” Dr. Simone Hidary explained. This reinforces that they are supported and believed in. Parents offer invaluable insights into their child’s personality, while school staff provide expertise in child development and education. This synergy creates an “unbelievable partnership.”
Isaac Setton emphasized that the goal is “school plus parents,” not “school versus parents.” When children see that their parents and the school are on the same page, they receive consistent messages, understand expectations, and recognize that everyone is on their side.
Finally, the experts discussed balancing support with parental boundaries. Dr. Hidary highlighted that effective parenting involves both love and limits. Providing love and support while setting clear boundaries is essential for a child’s self-regulation and success. Children understand that rules are for their best interest, even if they don’t like them.
As the school year sets in, let’s embrace these insights to empower our children and ourselves for a successful, fulfilling, and well-supported experience. By fostering open communication, building strong routines, and strengthening the vital partnership between home and school, we can set our children on a path to thrive.
Tips for a Strong Parent-School Partnership
- Don’t Hesitate to Ask Questions: Reach out to teachers and staff about your concerns.
- Proactive Communication: Early communication can prevent minor issues from escalating.
- Respectful Dialogue: Approach the school with the intention to collaborate.
- Be Persistent: If you don’t hear back immediately, follow up. Advocating for your child is crucial.
- Find Your Connection: Identify a staff member with whom you communicate best.