Believe it or not, most people have an estate. That estate might include a big house or a more modest one. An estate can include jewelry, financial securities, and even art. The question is, however, what becomes of the estate, or rather, where will it go, once its owner passes?

Emmanuel Haas and Ari Zaltz, of Haas & Zaltz, LLP, are general estate planning attorneys who also specialize in elder care. They say that one of the biggest mistakes people make is waiting too long to make an estate plan.

The Torah addresses halachic issues as they pertain to inheritances, and of course, estate plans, and it provides several halachically-approved ways of establishing one. For many of their Orthodox clients, Haas and Zaltz will come up with several provisions when helping them plan their estates and will even provide their clients with a shtar – a halachically legal document. A shtar can ensure that the intent of the person who creates the estate plan will be carried out, without prejudicing his children, who may or may not be “heirs,” at least according to halacha.

Unfortunately, a majority of estates still go through surrogate courts, inviting people to challenge and contest a will on any number of criteria. Even if a will is accepted, another potential area of conflict could be in the accounting, where an appointed executor must marshal the assets and then distribute them according to the terms and conditions as outlined in the will. In order to avoid as much conflict and dispute as possible, Haas and Zaltz advise clients to set up a trust which typically discourages people from going to court.

In addition to making an estate plan, which should include provisions for long-term care, and setting up a trust to protect assets, Haas and Zaltz also advise clients to establish a health care proxy. There are several different types of healthcare proxies, including halachic ones that could require an appointed agent/individual to consult with a rabbinic authority in the event that a serious life and death decision must be made. In any given health care proxy, there are many different options that people may choose, and Haas and Zaltz make sure to discuss any and all options and potential issues with their clients.

“It’s something people want to consider,” Haas cautioned. “People never know what their situation will be.” He said it’s important that one trusts their agent and feels comfortable with them. In preparation, a person should discuss with their appointed agent the overall approach that they want taken should a situation arise.

“Every individual and every family has some kind of need, whether it is a young family with minor children who are concerned about guardianship – which could be the single most important provision in a will – or whether they are a little bit older and have accumulated some assets and have become concerned about the dreaded probate process,” Zaltz said.

By setting up trusts, assets are protected for both parents, while they are still living, and for the children, after the parents pass. In some situations, parents are concerned about the risks associated with leaving a substantial amount of money to an adult child who they fear might be a spendthrift, and a trust can prevent an inheritance from being distributed outright. “Even if a child has significant control over the trust, it would not be vulnerable to creditors or even to marital partners, which may or may not become a problem at some point in the future, should there be a divorce,” Zaltz said.

Ensuring their hard-earned money doesn’t end up in the hands of a child’s ex-spouse is a very realistic concern that parents should consider when planning their estate. Another concern is how to ensure that a spouse’s assets will end up with his or her children and not go to children from a second marriage.

For families that wish to leave money to a child or grandchild with special needs, Haas and Zaltz have emerged as specialists in this particular practice area, dealing with it on a regular basis, carefully planning and drafting solid provisions unique to this circumstance.

Another crucial part of estate planning includes burial arrangements and Haas and Zaltz tell people that those cannot be included in the will since the document is examined long after the burial takes place. Instead, those plans should be clearly communicated to family and loved ones. Because tragedies occur quite suddenly, or because people often don’t want to address such topics during their lifetime, the ChevraKadisha or similar organizations will usually step in and make the necessary arrangements. However, this may not be at all what the decedent would have wanted.

While many people do not feel comfortable discussing these topics, Haas and Zaltz want to do what they can to encourage it. “It’s brought down in seforim that if you address these issues, it’s a segulah for arichas yomim,” Zaltz said. Planning ahead makes for a significantly less expensive burial and takes away a lot of stress and anxiety from the family. Not making arrangements can lead to chaos during an extraordinarily difficult process and can lead to unnecessary arguments at the worst possible time.

“There are people who prefer not to discuss it for any number of reasons, but it is certainly something that should be considered. Everyone knows that eventually they will go…” added Haas.

“We’re not the most exciting conversation, and people don’t love addressing the issue in general,” said Zaltz. “We try to make the conversation as easy as possible.”

To learn how to protect you and your family visit www.haaszaltz.com or call 718-412-5288. You can also email them at info@haaszaltz.com.

Michele Shrem

As the sun shines brighter and the days grow longer, families across the nation gear up for the quintessential summer tradition: the backyard barbecue. But what makes a BBQ truly memorable? Is it the smoky aroma wafting through the air, the sizzle of meat on the grill, or the laughter shared among loved ones? Everyone brings their own unique perspective to the art of summer grilling. Here are a few community members’ thoughts.

Grill Master – David

To perfect the art of grilling, a great BBQ starts with great technique. For the grill master, the key to a successful BBQ lies in the details. In order to enhance flavor and juiciness it is a good idea to marinate meats overnight, and for chicken it can really prevent dryness. Grilling isn’t just about cooking, it’s a passion. The importance of preparation starts with a clean grill. If you don’t take the time to clean it first you may end up with unwanted flavors in your food.

David also advocates for the use of quality tools. Invest in a good set of utensils. Having a sturdy spatula and tongs can make flipping burgers and turning steaks a breeze. The final tip is that patience is key. Don’t rush the process. Let the meat rest before serving to ensure juiciness. It is important to use a meat thermometer to ensure meats are cooked to the right temperature to avoid under or overcooking. Another important step is letting the meat rest. This allows grilled meats to redistribute the juices before serving. This will give you the best results.

You can also experiment with wood chips. Adding soaked wood chips to your grill can infuse a smoky flavor to your dishes. ​ If you focus on these techniques, you will ensure that every bite is flavorful and perfectly cooked. ​

Healthy Parent – Jennifer

Balancing flavor and nutrition can be a difficult task for a parent. BBQs can be a great answer to being able to enjoy delicious food without compromising on health. You don’t have to sacrifice taste and yet still gain healthy nutritional options by opting for lean meats like chicken breasts or fish. They are lower in fat and can be just as flavorful when grilled properly. You can even have plant-based options including veggie skewers, portobello mushrooms, or plant-based burgers to cater to all dietary preferences. ​

Another way to offer your family healthy options is to grill fruits, such as peaches or pineapples for a sweet and healthy dessert option. Try to limit high sugar content sauces, and instead use dry rubs or homemade sauces with reduced sugar content to enhance flavor without compromising health.

​These choices ensure that the BBQ is both tasty and nourishing for the whole family. ​Jenny suggests incorporating more vegetables into the BBQ spread. Grilled vegetables like zucchini, bell peppers, and asparagus not only add color to your plate but are packed with nutrients. Jenny recommends using marinades made from olive oil, lemon juice, and herbs to enhance flavor without adding excess calories.

Jenny says, “As a mother of four, I know the challenges of feeding a family. Part of the reason that I love to grill is because it’s quick and easy. Throwing some chicken on the grill while I prepare a salad or side dish makes dinner time less stressful. I find that involving my children in the process can also be important. My kids love to help and making them part of the process makes them more excited about the meal.

“My best tip is to prep your ingredients ahead of time. Marinate meat the night before and chop vegetables in the morning.”

Fun Entertainer: Raymond 

I love BBQs because they’re fun and I love the food! I like to make up mini portions like sliders or small skewers. They also happen to be great for young children since they are easy to hold. I like setting up a DIY food station/topping bar for burgers and hot dogs, allowing kids to customize their meals. ​

You can also set up fun games to play, for example, organize a scavenger hunt or water balloon toss to keep the little ones entertained. ​Even adults like to play games! Lawn games like cornhole or frisbee can keep guests entertained while the food is being prepared. You can make your own s’mores or fruit popsicles for dessert. I like creating a memorable atmosphere. It’s not just about the food; it’s about the experience. I set the stage for each event based on the type of guests I have invited to the party.

I like to use themed decorations such as a Hawaiian luau, 50s style, or retro 80s. To me, making a music playlist and curating it to the theme is super important, as well as adding both classic hits and current music. I like to add dance music too, since a backyard is a great dance floor.

You can use string lights or lanterns to create a cozy ambiance as the sun sets, and arrange seating areas with cushions and blankets for a relaxed vibe. ​ By focusing on these elements, you can ensure that your guests have a fun and engaging experience. ​

Eco-Friendly: Berta

Being environmentally conscious at a BBQ is both responsible and rewarding. It’s great to have fun and be kind to the planet at the same time. Use eco-friendly tableware by opting for reusable plates and utensils to reduce waste. ​ Choose sustainable fuel by selecting natural lump charcoal or propane over traditional charcoal for a cleaner burn. ​You can setup a compost bin for organic waste like vegetable peels, and a recycling station to ensure that recyclables like cans and bottles are properly sorted. ​ These practices help minimize the environmental impact of your BBQ while still enjoying all the fun. ​It is a great idea to source locally by shopping at farmers’ markets to support local farmers and it also ensures fresher ingredients.

Beginner Griller: Jeff

Even if you are new to the world of grilling, it can be easy and you can start with simple recipes. Burgers and hot dogs are a great simple meal and very easy to grill. If you are a beginner, you should preheat the grill before cooking to make sure everything cooks evenly and does not stick. Also, use a meat thermometer. It takes the guesswork out of cooking and ensures your meat is safe to eat -160 F for meat 165 F for poultry.

Hot dogs and thinly made burgers also don’t need too much time on the grill. After you master those items, the sky’s the limit, and you can try anything after that. You may even find that you hardly use your oven inside, because it becomes so much fun to grill.

Dessert Lover: Estee

No BBQ is complete without dessert, and instead of heading to the store to pick up cake and cookies, you can grill up some sweet peaches – add a drizzle of honey, and a sprinkle of cinnamon, and your meal is completed. Another easy idea is to grill pound cake slices. Grill them until they’re slightly crispy, then top with fresh berries or a scoop of pareve ice cream and whipped cream. And we all know that everything tastes better with whipped cream!

Veggie Committed: Laura

Grilling vegetables brings out their natural sweetness and adds a smoky, charred flavor that enhances their taste and texture. To prepare, simply toss sliced vegetables like zucchini, bell peppers, eggplant, mushrooms, onions, or asparagus in olive oil, salt, pepper, and your choice of herbs or spices. Place them directly on a preheated grill or in a grill basket, and cook over medium-high heat for a few minutes per side until they develop grill marks and become tender.

Grilled vegetables make a perfect side dish, salad topping, or even a hearty vegetarian main when served over grains or paired with a flavorful sauce.

Helpful Hints

Preparation is key to a smooth BBQ, and organization is key. Follow these steps for your next BBQ to run smoothly and efficiently:

Create a Menu: Plan the dishes ahead of time, considering dietary restrictions and preferences.

Prep Ingredients: Marinate meats and chop vegetables the night before to save time.

Set a Timeline: Establish a cooking schedule to ensure everything is ready at the right time​.

Delegate Tasks: Assign roles to family members, from setting the table to grilling.

Safety Tips

Safety First, Fun Always:  Keeping safe to prevent accidents is crucial.

Inspect the Grill: Check for gas leaks or damaged parts before use.

Keep a Fire Extinguisher Nearby: Be prepared for any flare-ups.

Maintain Distance: Keep children and pets away from the grill area.

Avoid Leaving the Grill Unattended: Always have someone monitoring the grill.

Marinade Ideas

Garlic-Herb Marinade

1. Olive oil, minced garlic, lemon juice, fresh rosemary, thyme, salt, and black pepper
2. Let veggies marinate for 20–30 minutes before grilling

Balsamic Glaze

1. Balsamic vinegar, olive oil, Dijon mustard, honey, and crushed black pepper
2. Adds a sweet-tangy depth, especially good for mushrooms, onions, and peppers

Spicy Chili-Lime

1. Olive oil, lime juice, chili powder, cumin, smoked paprika, and a pinch of cayenne
2. Great for corn, zucchini, and carrots

Asian-Inspired Soy-Ginger Marinade

1. Soy sauce, sesame oil, grated ginger, garlic, rice vinegar, and a touch of brown sugar
2. Perfect for eggplant, peppers, or snap peas

Dry Seasoning Ideas (for quick prep)

Middle Eastern: Hawaage, salt, pepper (This works unreal for lamb.)

Mediterranean: Oregano, thyme, garlic powder, paprika, sea salt

BBQ-style: Smoked paprika, onion powder, brown sugar, chili powder

Indian-inspired: Curry powder, turmeric, cumin, coriander, black pepper

Simple & Classic: Sea salt, cracked pepper, and fresh chopped herbs like parsley or basil after grilling

I hope you all enjoy these helpful tips for a great summer BBQ! Michele

As the temperatures rise, so does the excitement for innovative tech designed to enhance your summer experience. From smart pool monitors to robotic dogs, this year’s lineup promises to bring fun, convenience, and safety to your summer adventures. Dive into our selection of the hottest gadgets that can transform your summer into a season of unforgettable moments.

Petoi Bittle Robot
The Petoi Bittle robot is a palm-sized robot dog developed for fun but also serves as a STEM gadget. It walks, plays tricks, and rolls around just like a real dog, maneuvering on all kinds of terrains. You can teach it new skills and use it for STEM education, making it ideal for learning and research projects.

Lifebuoy Pool Motion Sensor & Alarm System
There’s no such thing as having too many safeguards in place to protect your little ones when you own a pool. The Lifebuoy Pool Motion Sensor & Alarm System alerts you if someone or something falls into your pool. Since it floats, there’s no need to drill holes in your deck or pool to secure it, and it’s portable for vacations.

Fitrus Plus 3.0
A single fingertip scan reveals seven vital health metrics that typically require multiple medical devices. It measures body fat, heart rate, oxygen levels, temperature, muscle mass, BMI, and metabolic rate. With a single charge lasting up to 20 days, health-conscious users can detect potential issues weeks before they would normally warrant a doctor’s visit.

Ordro M5
Three-axis stabilization transforms jerky amateur footage into smooth, professional-quality video with minimal effort. A 120-degree ultra-wide lens captures more of the scene while AI tracking keeps subjects in focus. The 3.5-inch touchscreen makes control simple, making the Ordro M5 a great candidate for road trip adventures.

Quick Press
Creating professional custom t-shirts typically takes hours, but the Quick Press does it in 15 seconds flat. With a 15-second transfer time, you’ll produce professional designs on shirts, totes, and other materials in minutes, making it perfect for quick and creative projects.

Lefeet P1 Underwater Scooter
Explore coral reefs twice as long with this 5-pound underwater scooter that extends your diving range exponentially. Its modular design mounts to legs, tanks, or surfboards for versatile use, transforming mobility underwater for both beginners and experienced divers.

Tornado Cargo Ebike
Capable of hauling 400 pounds at 25 mph, this cargo e-bike replaces short-distance delivery vehicles entirely. It comes with lights, turn signals, and reliable brakes. Adjustable seating and suspension ensure comfort even when fully loaded, making it ideal for urban deliveries.

X1 Auto Bed Vacuum
Dust mites multiply by millions in mattresses. This UVC-equipped vacuum eliminates what regular cleaning misses. Pet owners and allergy sufferers notice improved sleep quality after regular use, as it reaches deep where allergens hide, significantly reducing morning symptoms.

Govee Hexagonal Light Panels
If you’re looking for innovative lights to make your room more engaging, look no further than these Govee Hexagonal light panels. The LED light kit offers a unique way to create functional decorations, adding a smart touch to any space.SUTRO Smart Floating Pool Water Monitor
Do you feel like a mad scientist trying to measure the chemical levels in your pool? Eliminate the stress and guesswork with the SUTRO Smart Floating Pool Water Monitor. This monitor automatically tests your water three times a day and alerts you when you need to add chemicals, keeping your pool water clean, safe, and beautiful. It even works with saltwater pools.

Victor Cohen

In recent years,responding to plans to build a casino on Coney Island, right in our backyard, many throughout the community voiced their opposition to the project, and campaigned against it. Thanks in part to these efforts, the project has been struggling to receive the approval of the relevant municipal bodies.

The reason for the widespread opposition in our community should be clear and obvious. Easy access to a casino would, without question, lure many – particularly youngsters – to try out gambling. We all know that gambling is not only inconsistent with our Torah values, but also highly addictive, often destructively so.

Meanwhile, as this battle continues to be fiercely waged, a different gambling crisis has arisen – one which has already embedded itself deeply within our community: sports betting.

A Handheld Casino

Recent years have seen a surge of online sportsbooks and sports betting apps, which are promoted by torrents of advertisements. DraftKings, FanDuel, ESPNBet, BetMGM, and countless other sportsbooks offer free bets to ensnare newcomers. They also partner with celebrities and players, put out live promotions during games, and invest heavily in enticing users to keep betting on games. These sites and apps have, tragically, brought large numbers of youths into the clutches of gambling addiction, creating a whole generation of compulsive gamblers.

Let’s be honest about what many of these online sportsbooks are: a casino located in your pocket, or in the palm of your hand. They allow users to play the full range of typical casino games on their phone. Shockingly, every smartphone is now a Coney Island Casino.

This scourge of online gambling poses a grave threat to our community youngsters.

To learn more about this challenge, which has quickly become a full-fledged community crisis, I sat down with Ike Dweck, the founder of the SAFE foundation –an outpatient drug, alcohol, and gambling addiction facility, with clinics in Brooklyn and Deal. We spoke about the dangers of the sports betting apps, the tactics they use to get users hooked, as well as Ike’s own struggles with gambling and his heroic journey to break free of addiction. We also discussed potential solutions that are currently in the works, and warning signs for those concerned about a friend or child.

“They Don’t Really Care”

Already in 1992, Congress acted to protect our society from the dangers of sports betting, passing the Professional and Amateur Sports Protection Act, or PASPA, which prohibited states from allowing sports betting. But in 2014, the State of New Jersey, under governor Chris Christie, challenged the law’s constitutionality by legalizing sports betting within the state.

“People in New York would start gambling on their phones by just going over the bridge into New Jersey,” Ike recalled.

The NCAA (National Collegiate Athletic Association) sued the state, demanding that it enforce the federal law. The case continued under current New Jersey governor Phil Murphy and reached the Supreme Court in 2018. In Murphy v. NCAA, 584 U.S. 453 (2018), the Court voted to strike down PASPA, thus leaving the decision of whether to allow sports betting up to states. As more and more states followed New Jersey’s lead and legalized sports gambling, the industry of sports betting apps quickly surged, growing into the frightening behemoth that we unfortunately see today. In New York, due to lobbying from DraftKings and FanDuel, online sportsbooks became legal in January 2022.

And so when you turn 21, you are allowed to set up an account through an online sportsbook, which offers an enticing bevy of free bets. Most of the apps give you a few hundred dollars to “play” with. You cannot withdraw this money – you must spend it on a bet, playing their game. This is the primary method these online sportsbooks use to pull in innocent, unsuspecting users – they offer free bets, enabling the new customer to experience the thrill of gambling. This all but ensures that they will come back and continue playing with real money, and even long after these companies made back the money they “lost” by baiting the newbies.

“The website and casinos – they don’t really care,” Ike said. Why should they? They make loads of money off people’s addictions, hardships, and struggles – and will gladly continue to make money if left to their own devices. There is lots of money to be made from addicts. There is money to be made by placing all those expensive advertisements during sports games, given the potential for huge profit if they can get someone to sign up. There is money to be made by having a user place even just one too many bets.

The “free bets” convince your brain that gambling and betting is not just good, but exciting, something that gives you a high. Once that happens, you can easily get hooked and end up coming back again, again, and again – and the greatest thing any company can have is a repeat customer who uses its services frequently.

In other words, addiction is these businesses’ best friend. And so getting people addicted – and keeping them addicted – is their modus operandi.

A Minefield of Triggers

This brings us to their second important strategy –ubiquity. Flooding the internet and airwaves with advertisements helps not only to bring in new customers, but also to bring back customers who had succeeded in breaking loose.

A recovering alcoholic can avoid bars and liquor stores to protect himself from temptation. But a recovering sports betting addict has almost no way of avoiding the lure of gambling. An eye-opening essay in Scientific American(January 23, 2025) by Allison Parshalltitled,“How ‘Dark Patterns’ in Sports Betting Apps Keep Users Gambling” describes the difficult challenge faced by recovering gambling addicts trying to stay away from these apps: “A lapsed customer who receives a push notification, e-mail or text with an enticing ‘limited time’ offer for 10 ‘free bets’ might be someone with a gambling problem who is trying to quit.”

Parshall draws an analogy to a person dealing with alcohol addiction who, after several weeks of sobriety,is approached on his way to work by the fellow who runs his favorite bar, and he says, “Here, take a free shot of tequila!” It would be exceedingly difficult for the recovering alcoholic to decline. This is precisely what happens to recovering gamblers all the time.

“You can’t watch a baseball game without a commercial telling you to bet,” Ike said.

For a recovering addict, commercials promoting the online sportsbooks create a minefield of triggers that can easily get them sucked back in, especially considering the ease with which these apps can be accessed. One of the great benefits of modern technology – having everything at our fingertips, allowing us to check our email, write up proposals, fill orders, text, call, take pictures, work accounts, and do just about everything with just the tap of a few buttons – is a major pitfall for gambling addicts. The next bet is just a few button taps away. All it takes is the right advertisement during a football game, the right push notification at a time when the algorithm knows you’re looking at your phone, the right offer at the right time, to hook the recovering addict back in and get more money out of him.

It takes just a few taps on your screen to gamble away your entire week’s paycheck – and it takes the same amount of taps to lose a whole year’s paycheck, and even to bet away all your life’s savings. For a compulsive gambler, it is like a giant hole at the bottom of hisfinancial boat, which can cause it to sink at any moment.

Underage Gamblers

“Everybody’s desperate and thinks it’s easy to win,” Ike explained, further noting that although the apps ‘require’ you to be 21, it just does not work like that in practice. “People steal their parents’ credit cards, social security numbers, and open accounts as young as 13 or 14 years old. The email is in their name so their parents would never know.They’ll go on FanDuel and just open an account.”

Unfortunately, that is not the only way underage children can gain access to the online sportsbooks.

“They have friends who have brothers who have accounts who let them bet every night,” Ike says, and – just as in the case with drug addicts – once the money runs out to support their addiction, they find ways to get more. This could be by lying, manipulating those around them, or even stealing from their parents and pawning off jewelry. Once they are addicted, they will do whatever it takes to be able to continue their compulsively betting.

The SAFE foundation has, since its inception, always dealt primarily with alcohol and drug addiction, but this past year, the number of clinical assessments they conducted for gambling problems has risen by 48 percent. This dramatic increase offers a glimpse into how rapidly the issue has escalated.

It behooves us, then, to take a step back and ask ourselves: is this what we want for our future? Do we want the younger generation exposed to all this?

An Addict’s Recovery Story

In searching for solutions, there is perhaps no one better to listen to than Ike, who not only runs an organization that has been dealing with this issue for many years, but has also personally struggled with – and successfully overcome – a gambling addiction.

Ike began betting on sports when he was 12 years old. Back then, there were no sports apps, so he had to rely on other methods to place bets.

“When I was growing up,” he recalls, “there were no apps, so to bet you had to get a ‘bookie,’ who wasn’t the most honest guy in the world.”

He placed bets on all kinds of sports games, and as he got older, it took over his life.

“I couldn’t go on a vacation if it didn’t have a casino,”

His father asked him to join Gamblers’ Anonymous, and he was in and out for many years. However, he didn’t really listen to what they were telling him. This continued until he finally hit rock bottom at the age of 23. His life was out of control, he owed money to the bookies, and he was “sick and tired of being sick and tired.” He went back into Gambler’s Anonymous– and began to listen.

They told him to stop watching TV and stop reading the newspaper, because the sports section in the back could cause him to relapse. He was advised to make a list of all the people he owed, and to pay them back little by little. He was also advised to stop hanging out with the people he used to gamble with. With the help of Gambler’s Anonymous, Ike managed to find his way out.

Later, in 2003, Ike founded SAFE to help those plagued by addictions. He speaks at high schools throughout our community, telling his story and helping as many people as he can.          

“Don’t Do This Yourself”

For those currently gambling who recognize that they need to stop, the most important thing is to reach out to a professional. Compulsive gambling is an addiction, and requires professional intervention to begin the path to recovery.

“Don’t do this yourself,” Ike pleads. “You need help. Even going to a Gambler’s Anonymous meeting could help.”

For the past nine months, SAFE has been lobbying New York State Senators, explaining to them the dangers of online sportsbooks and the prevalence of underage gambling, in an attempt to convince them to change the laws in New York. The problem, Ike says, is that the State makes a great deal of money from the taxes on the gambling companies’ revenue, and so the lawmakers are reluctant to impose restrictions.

Ike concluded by offering some helpful advice for those who are concerned about a friend or family member’s possible gambling addiction.  Some warning signs, he says, are “if they’re borrowing money, or there’s a friend that always wants to play cards on Saturday night, or they’re staying up late for all the games.”

If you are worried about your child, he says, look for “missing jewelry, the kid not doing well in school, or if he’s also always asking to borrow money.”

Technology, with all its extraordinary advantages, has also presented several enormous challenges, some of which have received more attention than others. Ike and the rest of the SAFE foundation hope to draw the community’s attention to the challenge of gambling addiction, and to inform everyone of its unique risks. The first step to curing this destructive ill is spreading awareness. By working together to inform our youngsters of this alluring but dangerous activity, we can begin to tackle the problem of sports betting and help ensure a bright future for all our community’s youth.

Love and Fear

How do we work through the negative forces inside of us?

Rav Wolbe (Alei Shur, Vol. II, p. 363) recommends having a discussion with those forces: “Listen, I have no choice here. Hashem is my King; He’s the Boss over my impulses and urges, too. I am responsible for all my deeds. Gd gave me so much, and I owe Him so much. So do me a favor, guys, and just behave.”

Positive self-affirmations are powerful tools, which help cultivate a more positive and optimistic outlook on life. They allow us to reframe our negative thoughts and beliefs, replacing them with positive, empowering ones that help us to feel confident, motivated, and capable.

By taking control of our inner dialogue, we can influence our emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in a positive way, leading to greater well-being and success in all aspects of our lives.

Regularly repeating positive affirmations helps to ingrain them in our subconscious mind, allowing them to shape our beliefs and attitudes. This can lead to a ripple effect, positively impacting not only our own self-perception, but also our relationships with others, our work performance, and our overall life satisfaction.

Whether it’s affirming our worth, reminding ourselves of our strengths, or simply focusing on the good in our lives, the power of positive affirmations should not be underestimated. By making self-affirmation a daily habit, we can harness its potential to transform our lives for the better.

Now, one may ask, “What if I don’t want to get up in the morning in time to say Kriat Shema, especially on a Sunday morning?”

That’s when we have to remember that this is not the real us. The yetzer hara has stolen our identity, convincing us that we don’t want to get up. Actually, we want to get up; it’s the yetzer hara that doesn’t want us to get up. And the yetzer hatov, which is speaking to us in second person, has to say, “Do you know what you owe Gd? You’re sleeping on His mattress. You’re living in His house. The least you can do is get up in time and pray.”

We must have a dialogue with ourselves, to figure out how to cajole ourselves into doing the right thing.

But it’s a little bit deeper than that.

The Gemara (Sotah 47a) says that when dealing with a tinok, a child, one must employ the dictum: “S’mol docheh v’yamin mekarevet – The left hand drives away and the right hand draws near.”  According to Rashi, if we’re too tough on a child, he is going to run away and commit suicide out of fear. Pull him close with the dominant hand, the right one, and only use the weak hand, the left one, to push away and to discipline him.

Essentially, this is a carrot and stick approach to motivation, and actually mirrors the way we are supposed to motivate ourselves regarding our relationship with Hashem: love and fear.

Love-based motivation refers to the drive that comes from a positive, internal force such as a desire for happiness, fulfillment, or connection with others. Love-based motivation helps individuals pursue their goals and aspirations in a way that is aligned with their values and sense of purpose. It leads to feelings of happiness, satisfaction, and a sense of belonging, and can be a powerful force in overcoming challenges and obstacles.

Fear-based motivation, on the other hand, is driven by an external force such as the fear of failure, rejection, or negative consequences. While fear can be a powerful motivator, it can also lead to stress, anxiety, and a lack of confidence. However, when used in moderation, fear-based motivation can help individuals to avoid dangerous or harmful situations, and to take steps to protect themselves.

The end-goal is to find a balance between the two. When individuals are driven primarily by love, they may overlook important practical considerations or avoid taking necessary risks. When they are driven primarily by fear, they may become paralyzed by anxiety or become overly cautious. By balancing love-based and fear-based motivation, individuals can find a healthy and sustainable way to pursue their goals and aspirations, leading to greater well-being and success.

TAKEAWAY:

As will everything else in life, balance is key. In order to be the best oveid Hashem possible, work on ways to serve Him out of both love and fear. 

For nearly six decades, Hacham Baruch Ben-Haim, zt”l, stood as a towering figure within the Syrian Jewish community of New York and New Jersey. His name evokes reverence, respect, and deep affection among the thousands whose lives he touched. Now, on the twentieth yahrzeit (anniversary of his passing), his family has released a comprehensive biography. Hacham Baruch, offers a vivid portrait of this extraordinary leader, ensuring his wisdom and impact resonate with future generations.

Born Baruch Mizrahi in the hallowed atmosphere of early 20th-century Jerusalem, Hacham Baruch’s path was shaped by profound influences. The book details his upbringing in a home steeped in Torah, his formative years at the legendary Porat Yosef Yeshiva under the guidance of Hacham Ezra Attieh, zt”l, and his close, lifelong friendship with his study partner, Hacham Ovadia Yosef, zt”l. These early chapters paint a picture of a Yerushalayim pulsating with holiness and scholarship, the vessel that forged the Hacham’s character and brilliance.

Author Rabbi Nachman Seltzer masterfully weaves together historical context with intimate anecdotes gathered from over one hundred interviews, bringing Hacham Baruch’s multifaceted personality to life. We see the brilliant scholar with a photographic memory, equally comfortable discussing intricate halacha, Kabbalistic concepts, or practical communal matters. Yet, this intellectual giant was also profoundly humble, possessing a unique ability to connect with every individual – man, woman, or child – on their own level, offering tailored advice and unwavering support. His oft-repeated phrase, “the people,” underscored his deep love and dedication to the community he served.

The book chronicles his journey – from a brief rabbinical post in Cape Town, South Africa, to his pivotal arrival in New York in 1950 to assist Chief Rabbi Yaakov Kassin, zt”l, who would become his father-in-law. It delves into his tireless work building the community’s spiritual infrastructure: teaching generations at Magen David Yeshivah, guiding Congregation Shaare Zion, establishing the Torah Center, and advising countless individuals and families through life’s milestones and challenges.

Readers will find compelling stories illustrating Hacham Baruch’s wisdom and sensitivity – his patient, decades-long approach to guiding a neighbor towards Shabbat observance, his insistence on comforting mourners personally, his profound understanding of human nature in halachic rulings, and his unwavering defense of community standards, such as upholding the takana against conversions for marriage or his firm stance against the Brooklyn eruv. These narratives reveal a leader who balanced immense compassion with principled strength, always prioritizing the spiritual well-being and continuity of his flock.

Hacham Baruch is more than just a biography; it is a testament to the enduring power of dedicated leadership rooted in deep Torah knowledge and genuine love for one’s people. It captures the essence of a leader who, despite his immense stature, remained accessible and devoted, leaving an indelible mark on the Syrian Jewish world. For members of the community, this book is a precious opportunity to reconnect with a beloved leader. For others, it offers invaluable insights into the life of a 20th-century sage and the flourishing community he helped shape.

This lovingly compiled volume serves as both a tribute and an inspiration, a reminder of the heights attainable through Torah, humility, and unwavering commitment to Klal Yisrael.

Hacham Baruch is available for purchase from David Ben-Haim at 917.570.2701 or at hachambaruch@hotmail.com.

Jack Gindi

How often do we seek success, peace, or validation, believing they will make us feel complete? How frequently do we rush past our stillness? What are we afraid might come up if we stop doing and simply allow ourselves to be? Have you ever met someone who can’t sit in silence? Maybe that someone is you…

I remember sitting in a hotel room once after a long day of meetings. I was mentally wiped out and physically restless, laying on the bed and staring at the ceiling in silence. For the first time in weeks, I stopped moving. A clear truth struck me in that quiet moment: “The present holds wisdom, and I haven’t been paying attention.I haven’t been listening.”

Most of us don’t spend much time just being. We’re hustling, planning, proving, fixing. Consider this: Who are we when we stop?

I’ve struggled with that question. Maybe you have, too. Stillness feels uncomfortable. It forces us to look at things we’d rather avoid, but avoidance doesn’t work either.

Some of the world’s most brilliant insights didn’t come from chaos – they came from quiet. Einstein imagined the theory of relativity during a daydream. Newton noticed gravity while sitting under a tree. These weren’t just accidents. They happened because people made room for something more profound to emerge.

If we’re always avoiding silence, we never hear the truth we need to hear. If we’re always chasing the next thing, we never see what’s already within us and in front of us.

So how do we return to simply being? Here are four powerful shifts that have helped me reconnect with what matters most:

Wake Up to the Present – The most sacred moments are often the smallest, like the breath before a big decision. The sound of someone you love laughing. The silence before dawn. You don’t need to change your entire life to be present – you just need to be where your feet are. Put down the phone. Look someone in the eye. Rub two fingers together and feel the ridge of your fingerprint. Take one deep breath and feel it. Awareness changes everything.

Create Space for Stillness – Stillness doesn’t mean doing nothing, it means making room to hear your own wisdom. Try five minutes a day with no phone, no music, and no tasks. Just sit. Breathe. Let the noise settle. Walk without headphones. Journal without an agenda. The insights you’ve been chasing might already be trying to reach you if only you’d pause long enough to hear them.

Be a Friend to Yourself – Let’s be honest: most of us are harder on ourselves than anyone else ever could be. But here’s the truth, self-compassion is strength, not weakness. You’re a work in progress, not a problem to solve. You can face your truth without beating yourself up. Growth doesn’t come from shame; it comes from kindness. Start by speaking to yourself like you’d talk to a dear friend on their worst day. What would change if you did?

Anchor to Your Purpose – What values ground you? What lights you up? When the world feels loud or uncertain, your purpose keeps you rooted and clear. It’s not always flashy. Your purpose can be as simple as showing up, listening, or choosing integrity, even when it’s hard.

These four shifts – presence, stillness, compassion, and purpose – aren’t a checklist. They’re a return. To yourself. To the treasure you already carry. To the version of you that isn’t waiting to be validated.

So here’s my challenge to you: Pick just one: A) Slow down for ten seconds. B) Sit still for five minutes. C) Say one kind thing to yourself. D) Name one thing that gives your life meaning.

Start where you are. Let that be enough.

Pause. Breathe. Listen.

Your inner wisdom is already speaking. Are you ready to hear it? Believe. Become. Be you.Jack Gindi helps families face life’s challenges with the I Believe in Me Foundation. Contact: jack@ibelieveinmefoundation.com.