“I am passionate about how things work and understanding all aspects of what happens behind the scenes. That’s why I love my role at SCC.  I also thrive on helping people.”  –  Kathy                  

Ellen Geller Kamaras            

Please meet Kathy Shabot.  Kathy is a mother, wife, and Director of Arts and Culture at the Sephardic Community Center.

Born to Iraqi Jews, Reuben Solomon from Singapore, and Myrtle Ezra from Bombay, India, Kathy’s parents agreed on the name Kathryn.  Although Reuben wanted to name Kathy after her great grandmother, the couple agreed that Kathryn would be better suited for the mostly Ashkenazi community in Los Angeles.  Her mom shortened Kathryn to Kathy.  Myrtle’s family moved from India to London and then to LA where Myrtle met Reuben.  Reuben’s family lived in Singapore with a nice community of Iraqi Jews and made their way to LA.

Kathy is the youngest of three. Her siblings are Tamara and David.   Tamara married and settled in Teaneck, NJ, and David lives in the same Singapore community that her father belonged to. 

Growing up with parents from exotic places prompted a lot of questions from Kathy’s friends.  Many had never heard of Singapore or knew that there were Jews in either India or Singapore.  The foods her family ate were also very different. 

Although Kathy remembers being a very quiet, shy child, she had many close friends that she is still in contact with today.   

Kathy attended Emek Hebrew Academy through 8th grade and Valley Torah High School in North Hollywood, California. 

Extracurricular activities energized Kathy. She played basketball and worked on the school yearbook.  “Logistics was always my thing – I like to know how things work, the behind-the-scenes facets captivate me.”

After two years in college in LA, Kathy headed east and enrolled in NYU and graduated with a Bachelor of Science in Hospitality.  Kathy’s sister had studied out-of-state for grad school and most of Kathy’s friends attended out-of-town colleges.  Kathy’s parents supported her choice.                 

Kathy’s Core

Kathy describes herself as caring, compassionate, organized, empathetic, fun, and calm. She is also heart-centered.  Her care and compassion shine through in everything she does. She has a calm demeanor, which she sees as a blessing. And, of course, there is her energy.

“I am very easy going with all my relationships, personal and professional.  I tend not to push very hard and I don’t like conflict.  I do have a problem saying ‘no’ but I am working on it.  I am a work-in-progress.” 

Kathy had many role models growing up but the ones that most influenced who she would become were her grandparents: “I watched them navigate through hard times and be successful in a new environment.  My grandparents were always teaching my siblings and me to look on the bright side, not dwell on the negative, and trust that Hashem is great and will always be on our side.”  

At the Center, Kathy was fortunate to have fabulous work mentors who shaped her development and helped her to develop important skill sets. They helped her to build confidence in her professional abilities.

Kathy is a lifelong learner with a growth mindset, absorbing new information and proficiencies and using them for the future.  One can tell by the diverse projects she supports that she embraces challenges. 

And Then Came Marriage

Hashgachat pratit was present when Kathy was introduced to her naseeb, Toby Shabot, a Brooklyn Syrian Jew, eight years her senior.   Kathy’s first cousin Jonathan, who had moved to the Brooklyn Syrian community, set her up with Toby while she was at NYU.  Her cousin was friendly with Toby’s brother Ezra and thought it would be a good match.   

The two married and raised their family in the Brooklyn Sephardic community.  Since Kathy was close with her family, the Shabot’s visited LA for holidays and vacations. 

Kathy and Toby have four children ranging from seventeen to twenty-four.  “I am proud of the solid relationship Toby and I have.  Despite life’s challenges, we have remained well balanced and have our special time every morning, having coffee together.”

Toby and the kids are so proud of Kathy’s passionate work activities at the Center and her contributions to the community.  When her children were young, she volunteered at Barkai Yeshiva, loved her PTA involvement, and made good friends through her children.

“I tend to be very calm and relaxed. In raising the kids, I was easy going and tried to determine where each child would thrive.  It’s not a parenting style per se, but it’s more about my children showing me what they needed.  I felt it gave them a sense of pride and confidence.  I hope I was right. My children are my proudest accomplishment.  We nurtured and raised them to feel loved, supported, and confident to make appropriate decisions.” 

Career

While Kathy was in LA,she was thrilled to work in a hotel and use her hospitality education.   She worked a 6:30pm to 3am shift and knew that she wouldn’t be able to work those hours as a mom.  After she graduated from NYU, Kathy began her career in the corporate world.  She progressed at various positions at Aon, a multinational corporation specializing in risk and human capital.

When Kathy was expecting her third child, she left her corporate job.  She pivoted to working at the Center in 2010.  She was hired to work on the Encore Jr. program, a variety show for kids nine years and older.  It later transitioned into a drama program under the Encore music school and continues annually with a musical production.  Kathy learned a lot , conquered spreadsheets, and felt confident at the Center.   “I met many people and my co-workers became my close friends, almost family.  That was wonderful as I was far from my family in LA.  And from there I grew up!”

Kathy was offered a position in the new Gitta Sultan kitchen when the Encore program took a break.  “I was working with a team on educational cooking classes for the women in our community.  I started with logistics.  I bought supplies, organized menus and ingredients, and I stayed in all the classes, learning from the many chefs. I had always been comfortable in the kitchen, but now I knew about all the facets of cooking.”

Joey Tawil, a former CEO, said, “Now you can cater,” and that’s what she did.  “I grew into my position. I took on every role I was asked to and did every task needed.  I loved being part of the team, the family.”  

Kathy became a sous chef.  Some of the chefs at SCC asked her to help them at their private events.

Rewards and Challenges

“I work with so many different departments planning programming and I have my hands in many facets of the projects including the logistics, budgets, and funding.”  Kathy expressed gratitude to the amazing volunteers who work on the project committees.   She enjoys managing and helping them perform their awesome hesed activities and using her vision to achieve success.

One of her favorite projects is Simply Traditional. Two volunteers, Rosie Bawabeh and Rochelle Dweck, spearheaded the project. “We go into family homes, film grandmas, great grandmothers, and whole families cooking together and then we edit the video into a beautiful keepsake for years to come.”

Kathy also specializes in young adult  programming. The SCC Board has a clear and strong mission to grow and cultivate the community’s young adults.    “The Center plans an annual Thanksgiving trip. Watching young adults connect is rewarding, and the excitement when marriages happen is like fireworks!”

Kathy’s Challenge and Balance

Growing professionally meant Kathy had to develop herself.  “I dug deep, learned about myself, becoming more confident, and came out of my shell.”  

Self-assurance and teamwork have led Kathy to thrive in her career.   Building confidence has made her a stronger person and she understands that it’s important to have a team in place and to not work alone.  Getting along with other employees and leading teams with fun and excitement are paramount to her.  She treats everyone with respect and feels like she has a team of friends, not employees.

Kathy has a full work schedule but carves out time to be with family.  When her children were young, she ensured each one had Mommy time and she attended school events and milestones. 

Downtime and Community

To unwind, Kathy enjoys reading historical fiction novels and watching documentaries.   She enjoys cooking, creating healthier, easier meals. And she loves fixing problems!

Kathy believes that community is an integral part of development for children, adults, and relationships.  “Our community is very special in supporting everyone with everything.  Seeing and living it develops good, compassionate and understanding people.”

Kathy strives to continue to grow and stretch herself.

“There is nothing more rewarding than working for a not for profit.  It’s a real job and people count on you. Listen, learn, and work.”

Connect with Kathy at kathyshabot@gmail.com.                               

Ellen Geller Kamaras, CPA/MBA, is an International Coach Federation (ICF) Associate Certified Coach. Her coaching specialties include life, career, and dating coaching. She can be contacted at ellen@lifecoachellen.com.

September brings a distinct shift in rhythm. As summer fades, families face the hectic transition back to school, marked by chaotic schedules and academic pressures. Simultaneously, the High Holidays arrive, bringing a dense season of reflection, family gatherings, and community expectations. While this time of year can be rich with meaning, the combination of major routine shifts and intense holidays creates a perfect storm for stress, anxiety, and depression.

When seasonal pressure mounts, it can be difficult to distinguish between temporary holiday burnout and a deeper mental health concern. To help clear up this confusion, professionals look at a structured framework to evaluate emotional well-being: Intensity, Duration, and Frequency (I.D.F).

Intensity: The Volume of Your Emotions

Intensity refers to the severity of the emotional distress you are experiencing. It measures how deeply an emotion or state of mind impacts your daily functioning.

Everyone experiences holiday stress or seasonal anxiety. However, normal stress usually allows you to maintain your routines. High intensity means the volume of these emotions has been turned up to a disruptive level. You might find that anxiety prevents you from participating in family gatherings, profound sadness makes it impossible to focus at work, or irritability strains your closest relationships.

When emotional pain peaks to the point where it impairs your ability to work, socialize, or care for yourself, the intensity indicates that standard self-care is no longer sufficient. Therapy provides a safe space to de-escalate this intensity and develop healthy coping mechanisms.

Duration: The Persistence of the Struggle

Duration tracks how long the emotional distress has been occurring. A difficult, overwhelming week during the peak of holiday preparation is a natural reaction. But when that heavy cloud stretches long past the season without relief, or persists even when the stressor itself wasn’t particularly intense, it may signal a formal mood disorder.

In clinical settings, the length of time a symptom persists helps differentiate between temporary situational stress and conditions like clinical depression or bipolar disorder. Diagnostic guidelines typically require symptoms to last consistently for weeks or months before a mood disorder is identified.

If you realize you have been feeling “off,” hopeless, or constantly overwhelmed for weeks on end, you are dealing with a prolonged duration. Therapy can help identify if a mood disorder is present, disrupting these long-standing cycles so a temporary autumn transition does not solidify into a chronic struggle.

Frequency: The Consistency of the Incidents

Frequency examines how often the distress or negative behavior occurs within a given timeframe. It measures the regular occurrence of your symptoms.

Experiencing a single panic attack during a chaotic week or having an occasional sleepless night due to a busy schedule is manageable. However, if panic attacks occur weekly, or if emotional crashes happen multiple times a week, the high frequency demands attention.

When negative thoughts, bursts of anger, or tearful episodes happen regularly, they chip away at your resilience. Tracking the frequency helps you see patterns that are otherwise easy to minimize. A high frequency of distress means your mind and body are continuously operating in a state of alarm, and a therapist can help you identify and address the underlying triggers.

Listening to the Signals

The I.D.F framework removes the guesswork from mental health care. You do not need to wait for all three metrics to reach a critical maximum before you deserve support. A high score in any of these areas is a valid reason to connect with a professional counselor. Listening to these signals early allows you to take control of your well-being and begin the healing process.

Eddie Esses

Sometimes the most meaningful victories are measured not by headlines, but by the thousands of families whose daily lives become just a little easier.

One year after Governor Kathy Hochul signed New York’s Universal School Meals program into law, the impact is undeniable. More than 42,000 additional nonpublic school students are now receiving free breakfast and lunch each school day, helping families save money, eliminating the stigma of “lunch shaming,” and ensuring that every child, regardless of where they attend school, has access to nutritious meals.

For New York’s Jewish community and the broader nonpublic school community, this represents one of the most significant education victories in recent memory.

A Promise Finally Fulfilled

For years, advocates pushed for New York to recognize a simple principle: every child deserves access to healthy meals at school, regardless of family income or whether they attend a public, charter, or nonpublic school.

Hochul made that vision a reality by securing $340 million in the FY2026 State Budget to establish truly universal free school meals across New York.

Today, every participating public, charter, and nonpublic school can offer free breakfast and lunch to every student, with New York State covering the remaining cost for students who were not previously eligible for free meals.

The result is exactly what supporters hoped for: greater participation, healthier children, and meaningful financial relief for families.

Dramatic Increase in Nonpublic School Participation

Between March 2025 and March 2026 more than 42,000 additional nonpublic school students are now benefiting from the program statewide, a remarkable increase that demonstrates both the demand for and the success of universal school meals. The nonpublic school increase includes 33,000 children attending yeshivas and Jewish day schools in NYS (and within that figure, 4,000 children attending Sephardic yeshiva schools).

More Than Meals

Universal school meals are also delivering substantial savings to working families.

Analysts have estimated that nonpublic school parents are collectively saving approximately $60 million annually through the program – averaging a savings of up to $1,440 per child.

For families already making significant sacrifices to provide a Jewish or other faith-based education for their children, these savings are meaningful. Every dollar families no longer spend on school meals is a dollar that can instead go toward tuition, housing, childcare, or other household expenses.

Senator Sutton’s Advocacy with the Governor

Long before taking office, Senator Sam Sutton championed universal school meals as President of the Sephardic Community Federation (SCF), recognizing that thousands of middle-income families were falling through the cracks. Many families earned too much to qualify for traditional meal assistance but still struggled with the rising cost of living and private school tuition.

SCF also fought to end the harmful practice of lunch shaming, a problem that affected children across every community. Although New York City had been legally authorized since 2017 to provide universal school meals, including kosher and halal options, implementation stalled for years despite persistent advocacy.

After being elected to the State Senate, Senator Sutton continued making funding for non-public schools a top priority, working closely with Governor Hochul and legislative leaders to continue bringing additional funds to our yeshivot.

Senator Sutton has developed a close and productive partnership with Governor Hochul, one that has consistently translated into meaningful investments for New York’s Jewish communities. Whether securing increased security funding, expanding educational support, or advancing initiatives that ease the financial burden on families, that strong working relationship has delivered tangible results where they matter most.

Another Major Win for Nonpublic School Families

Hochul’s commitment to New York’s nonpublic school community extends beyond universal meals.

Just this past month, she also committed New York to opting into the new Federal School Choice Tax Credit, allowing donors to nonprofit scholarship organizations to receive a $1,700 federal tax credit for eligible contributions.

For New York’s Jewish community, this represents another landmark achievement. Once implemented, the program is expected to generate tens of millions of dollars in scholarship funding that will directly help families offset the cost of nonpublic school tuition. 

Combined with Universal School Meals, these initiatives represent one of the most significant reductions in the cost of nonpublic education that New York families have seen in decades.

Senator Sam Sutton

“A free breakfast and lunch for every school child in New York State is now a reality and [is] showing impressive results. NYC and NYS nonpublic school children are saying goodbye to lunch shaming and hello to a nutritious breakfast and lunch regardless of income.”

QUESTION:

Dear Rabbi  Ali,

I have been married for many years and things have never been good. I don’t think there’s much to do since my husband will not join me for counseling. We fight all the time and I know without help nothing will change. Do you have any advice for me?

R’ ALI’S RESPONSE:

You mention that nothing will change without both of you present in front of a counselor. This is one of the greatest misconceptions concerning marriage and all interpersonal relationships. I have seen countless people get help in their marriage without their spouse accompanying them to a counselor. Of course, it’s ideal to have both spouses going for help and working together to better the marriage, but it does not mean that you cannot get help if your spouse is not interested in going.

The reasons for this are simple. Both husband and wife have an obligation to do what’s right and beneficial for the success of the relationship. This obligation has nothing to do with your spouse’s obligation. If they are failing to do what they need to do, that doesn’t  absolve you from doing your job. For example: a man must work to provide for his family. Whether his wife is fulfilling her duties as a wife, a husband still must provide. 

Although, this concept has its upside (that you can work on the relationship by yourself if need be), the downside is that people have a hard time working on the relationship when they don’t see their spouse working on it, too. However, I have never met someone who says they decided not to work on the relationship. Everyone is trying hard to make the relationship work. Whether or not they’re doing the proper work is another issue. 

It’s also important to watch out for some of the pitfalls of getting advice without your spouse. One is that sessions without your spouse can turn into a weekly venting session without actually making progress. Remember – the goal is to try to understand yourself and your spouse and to come up with new ways to navigate the relationship.

Also, you have a better chance of getting your spouse to join you if you approach the topic in a gentler way. If you have been telling your spouse, “We need help,” he might take it as if he is the problem. Being vulnerable and proposing the idea as though you want help and would appreciate it if your spouse join, will yield better results.

This way of communicating works wonders. Many times, people are resistant to pressure and not so much the actual idea or request. In short, get help with or without your husband.

You and others in your situation should understand a few facts that many struggling couples should know. First, there is a strong possibility that you are not understanding your spouse. Second, know that fights are mostly misunderstandings that are emotionally charged. Third, asking a third party about your situation in an honest and sincere way could be helpful in seeing another perspective. Instead of telling your spouse how he’s failing at his job, you should ask a third party if you’re correct in your assessment of the situation. Much friction would be avoided if people would approach a rabbi or a counselor with this approach. 

In conclusion, speak to a third party. In addition, try your best to understand your husband, see things from his point of view, and learn tips and tools on how to have healthy interactions with him.