By Rabbi Hayim Asher Arking and Rabbi Ezra Ghodsi

In what ways can a Jew’s wine become forbidden?

There are four ways wine can become stam yeinam and therefore forbidden:

1.   Touching: The actual wine was touched by a non-Jew, whether by hand, by mouth (such as when drinking from a bottle), or with any other part of the body. This can apply even if they touched the wine with an object they were holding.

2. Agitating/Shaking (shichshuch): The wine was agitated by a non-Jew, even if they only shook the cup or bottle without touching the liquid directly. Since agitating/shaking wine was a form of idol worship, this action renders the wine forbidden.

3.  Pouring (kocho): The wine was poured by a non-Jew, regardless of whether it was agitated/shaken. This principle is not limited to pouring; it applies to any wine displaced or moved from its container by a non-Jew.

4.   A Connecting Stream (nitzok): The wine was connected to non-kosher wine, such as through a continuous stream during pouring.

If a waiter carried an open bottle of wine, may we still drink it?

Although wine touched by a non-Jew becomes forbidden, simply touching the outside of a bottle does not affect its status. However, one should not allow a non-Jewish waiter to move or even lift an open bottle. As previously explained, the wine can still become forbidden if it is “shaken” (shichshuch), even if no wine is actually poured. Similarly, if a non-Jew carries an open bottle or cup, the wine would generally be forbidden, as the act of walking naturally causes the liquid to shake. Due to the nuanced nature of these laws, case-specific details can make a difference, and one should consult a rabbi if such a situation arises.

What if I left a bottle of wine in the fridge and the maid moved it?

Wine only becomes forbidden through “shaking” if the wine is uncovered. However, if the bottle is covered, even if not sealed, “shaking” is no longer an issue. Therefore, as long as there was a bottle stopper or a partially replaced cork, the wine remains permitted.

This is only true if there is no concern the bottle was opened by the non-Jew. While it may be acceptable for the Jew to be in another room and leave a maid or waiter around a covered non-mevushal bottle, two conditions must be met. First, the Jew can walk back in unexpectedly (yotzei ve’nechnas). Second, the non-Jew must know they are not allowed to handle the wine, which in some cases may require them being clearly instructed not to do so.

However, leaving a non-Jew in the house alone, even with the possibility of an “unexpected” return, may no longer provide a sufficient deterrent. For instance, a maid or worker may be familiar enough with one’s daily schedule to know when they can handle the wine without any risk of someone returning. Likewise, a window might allow them to watch for someone arriving, providing enough time to handle the wine and return it to its place without being caught. In certain situations, cameras can serve as an effective deterrent, if the person knows they are being filmed and that someone is actually reviewing the footage.

What if a non-Jew poured wine into a cup?

In this case, both the wine in the cup and the wine remaining in the bottle become forbidden. The wine in the cup is rendered forbidden by the act of pouring (kocho), while the wine in the bottle becomes forbidden because the continuous stream connects it to the wine in the cup (nitzok).

Can a Jew pour wine into a cup held by a non-Jew?

The concept of nitzok applies even if the one pouring is Jewish. For example, if a Jew pours wine into a cup containing remnants of wine previously handled by a non-Jew, the entire bottle becomes forbidden. Furthermore, even if starting with a clean cup, the non-Jew may move or tilt the cup while the wine is being poured. This would render the wine in the cup forbidden because of the “shaking,” and in turn, render the wine in the bottle forbidden through the continuous stream.

What is the proper way to store a bottle of wine when it will be left with a non-Jew?

In general, there are two levels of security when leaving kosher food unsupervised. For foods that carry a Biblical prohibition if switched, such as non-kosher meat or fish, a double-seal is required. For foods involving a rabbinic prohibition, such as bread or cheese, a single seal suffices. Although the prohibition regarding wine is rabbinic, it is treated with greater stringency and therefore requires a double seal.

A practical way to create this is to tape a plastic bag over the bottle and write Hebrew letters (or one’s signature) across the edges of the tape and onto the bag. Writing two letters across the seam satisfies the requirement for a double seal, as each individual letter counts as its own seal. For this to be effective, the seal must be set up in a way that, if someone attempts to peel back the tape, it would cause the characters to misalign, and it would be difficult to restore the letters perfectly.

Alternatively, one can hide the bottle in a place where it is highly unlikely it will be noticed by a maid or other non-Jewish workers. This can be a practical solution for Shabbat and yom tov when making the above double seal is not feasible.

Do these laws also apply to a Jew who is not shomer Shabbat?

While the laws of stam yeinam generally extend to those who are not shomer Shabbat, the restrictions actually take a significant “step down” in severity compared to those involving a non-Jew. For example, if a non-shomer Shabbat individual touches the wine, it is forbidden to drink it, however, one may still derive benefit from it. (On a side note, this leniency also applies if a Muslim handles non-mevushal wine.) When hosting friends or family who may not be shomer Shabbat, it is preferable to only use mevushal wine. As this is not always an option, there are specific leniencies that are important to be aware of. For instance, if an open bottle was accidentally moved by a non-shomer Shabbat individual, the wine remains permitted. Furthermore, many say that the laws of nitzok (the “connection” between the stream and the bottle), do not apply to a non-shomer Shabbat individual. Accordingly, if they pour wine into a cup, only the wine that was poured becomes forbidden to drink (kocho), while the wine remaining in the bottle remains permitted.

“I am living on two parallel tracks of responsibility. Professionally, I work in the political sphere, helping thoughtful and principled people I believe in step into leadership, because who holds office truly shapes the world our children and grandchildren will inherit. Spiritually, my work is about something deeper: helping create a world with more inner strength, more faith, and more refined character.”  ~ Linda Sadacka

Ellen Geller Kamaras

Please meet Linda Argalgi Sadacka, who was interviewed for this column (formerly Woman to Woman) back in 2017. She was featured as the founder of Moms on a Mitzvah, a grassroots hesed initiative she launched in 2013. Clearly, she possessed incredible energy and a sense of responsibility to the community. Today, that work continues. Linda is a writer, political activist, and community leader. She is the CEO of the New York Jewish Council and is the founder of Chasdei David, Inc., a public non-profit hesed organization based in Brooklyn that focuses on education services and educational exchanges.

Raised in Montreal in a traditional home, Linda’s spiritual path deepened in her youth and shaped the course of her life. Linda was deeply affected by the murder of her brother’s close friend, IDF soldier Jason Friedberg by Hamas, which profoundly strengthened her lifelong commitment to Jewish responsibility and to Israel. In the years that followed, Linda became active in communal advocacy and writing on behalf of Jewish causes.

One widely-known campaign that drew national attention mobilized more than 100,000 signatures to secure a compassionate-use FDA exemption for a terminally ill young man. This exemption allows patients with serious or life-threatening diseases to access medical treatment that is not yet FDA approved. After marrying and settling in Brooklyn, Linda’s focus shifted toward structured communal hesed alongside broader advocacy. That early activism laid the groundwork for her current multifaceted role.

Linda Evolves

Today, more than eight years later, Linda is still deeply involved in hesed and communal advocacy, and has expanded her work to include political strategy, writing, teaching, and producing her podcast “The Silent Revolution,” which focuses on culture, leadership, faith, and public discourse.   

Linda, now a grandmother, describes herself as purpose-driven, principled, compassionate, grounded, and resilient. “I am more intentional than I was years ago.”

Linda clearly articulates that her life is guided by Torah and her decisions are reached through employing her strong emunah.  “Whether I am in a classroom or a room with public officials and world leaders, people know exactly who I am.”

Writing, Teaching, and Advocacy

Alongside her hesed and advocacy, Linda continued to write and began teaching. Her articles have appeared in The Jerusalem Post, Jewish News Syndicate, Jewish Image Magazine, and local publications. “Writing is another form of education,” Linda explains. “It helps people think more clearly, stay informed, and make better decisions in an increasingly complicated world.”

Professionally, however, Linda is most proud of her teaching. She teaches classes on the laws of lashon hara – proper speech – a subject she feels deeply passionate about.

Advocacy

Communal advocacy, outreach, and using her voice are Linda’s other tools to achieve her goal of creating a robust future for our community.

Linda currently serves as a political strategist, actively advising and helping elect candidates whose values align with hers and the community’s. 

Linda considers her work as a modern form of kiruv, done carefully, within boundaries and with accountability.  Linda has worked behind the scenes in helping thoughtful, principled people step into public leadership roles. She moves through many different spaces, in rooms of influence, in government, in areas of communal leadership, and in other arenas that shape real outcomes, opening doors where possible. 

Much of her political work is done quietly, behind the scenes, protecting her family’s privacy. 

Linda attended this past year’s White House Hanukah evening reception, which included major donors, such as Miriam Adelson, and senior administrative officials including Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, lawmakers from both parties, ambassadors, and figures shaping both the present and future political landscape. Given the exclusivity of the party, Linda recognized that this was not a casual social gathering. 

President Donald Trump spoke about rising anti-Semitism and the cultural pressures facing the Jewish community. At one point, Linda observed that for every person in the room many more had wanted to attend and could not.  Linda commented, “I was aware that I was the sole representative from my community present, and I carried that responsibility consciously.”  Her conversations that evening were purposeful and allowed her to reinforce significant relationships.

Family and Balance

“Learning how to hold spiritual growth, public responsibility, creative work, and family life with steadiness and intention,” is how Linda maintains her balance.

Family remains Linda’s top priority, and everything she does reflects her commitment to her family. The pride she takes in her children’s derech eretz and yirat Shamayim surpasses everything else. She is deeply grateful for her husband, Dr. Jack Sadacka, whose steadiness and values are the foundation of their home. “Any good I have been able to do publicly is rooted in that quiet strength.”

Time is Linda’s greatest challenge. She gets off to a very early start, allowing her to move through her day with clarity and calm. Downtime is rare, but when it comes, Linda tries to be intentional: unhurried conversations, shared meals, and time with children and grandchildren. “That kind of quiet time, even in small doses, restores me more than anything else.” Linda’s home remains her anchor.

Mentors

Since Linda’s seminary days in Canada, Rebbetzin Feldbrand, a renowned educator and author, has been a constant source of clarity and strength for many years. Linda also became close to Rabbi Yitzchak Cohen, a mekubal who spent time in the community for medical treatment. She values his spiritual guidance.

Linda was deeply moved to receive encouragement and blessings for her classes from Rabbi Yitzchak David Grossman, known as the “Disco Rabbi,” for his entrance into the Friday night discos to connect with young Jews in Migdal HaEmek in the north of Israel. He is the founder and dean of Migdal Ohr educational institutions, established in 1972 to provide education and social guidance to children from underprivileged and troubled homes in Israel.

Parting Words

Linda is actively recruiting more volunteers, as the need is real and ongoing.

“In many ways,” Linda reflects, “everything I do publicly is my hishtadlut to leave behind a world that is steadier, kinder, and more rooted than the one I entered and to protect the future.  Spiritually, my work is about something deeper: helping create a world with more inner strength, more faith, and more refined character.”Ellen Geller Kamaras, CPA/MBA, is an International Coach Federation (ICF) Associate Certified Coach. Ellen can be contacted at ellen.kamaras@gmail.com (www.lifecoachellen.com).

By Simha Health in Conversation with Rabbi Dr. Jonathan Schwartz

As we approach the holiday of Pesah, our homes often transform into hubs of intense activity. From the rigorous cleaning and scouring for hametz to the logistical gymnastics of hosting, it is a season of profound beauty but also one of significant stress. For many in our community, this stress goes beyond simple holiday jitters, often touching on deeper struggles with anxiety and religious Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), also known as scrupulosity.

In a recent community event hosted by the Simha organization, Rabbi Dr. Jonathan Schwartz, Clinical Director of the Center for Anxiety Relief, shared vital insights on how to balance religious devotion with mental well-being.

Understanding Scrupulosity: The Doubting Disease

A common question arises this time of year: how do we distinguish between someone who is deeply devoted to religious practice and someone struggling with religious OCD? Dr. Schwartz explains that emotional disorders often exist on a continuum. While a devoted person might spend extra time in prayer or cleaning out of a sense of connection and peace, a person with OCD is driven by what is often called the doubting disease.

In religious OCD, an individual experiences intense anxiety around specific thoughts, or obsessions, such as the fear that they didn’t clean a room well enough or didn’t pronounce a word in prayer correctly. To mitigate this terror, they perform repetitive behaviors or compulsions. These acts are not performed for the sake of the mitzvah or to connect with Hashem; rather, they are a desperate attempt to escape the discomfort of uncertainty.

The Trap: Strengthening the Validity of the Doubt

A hallmark of religious OCD is the constant need for reassurance. Individuals may consult multiple rabbis, family members, or teachers to ask the same questions repeatedly in hopes of feeling sure. However, this seeking of reassurance actually fuels the disorder.

When a person repeatedly asks for confirmation that they have done enough, they are inadvertently strengthening the validity of the doubt. Each time they seek reassurance to escape anxiety, the brain learns that the initial doubt was a legitimate threat that required action. This trains the individual to rely on external validation rather than the clear guidelines provided by the law. Instead of finding peace, the person becomes more trapped, as the anxiety will eventually demand even more certainty, pushing the individual to go a drop more just to be sure.

Re-framing the Approach: Awareness Over Uncertainty

One of the most effective tools for managing scrupulosity is shifting the perspective from doing more to doing what is required. Instead of seeking more stringencies to feel safe, Dr. Schwartz suggests that one should be aware of what one does not have to do, such as in the case of a chumra. Halakha provides clear boundaries designed to protect our peace of mind. Concepts like bittul and selling hametz are specifically meant to cover concerns that the human eye cannot see. Dr. Schwartz emphasizes that sticking to the specific rules given by a single authority is actually an essential part of the mitzvah itself. Individuals should rely on finite, defined rules and then move on.

Reclaiming the Simha

The word simha means joy, and Pesach is referred to as Zman Simhateinu, the time of our happiness. Dr. Schwartz notes that we often have it backwards, becoming somber and anxious when we should be joyful.

The goal of Pesach is not a shot at perfection that leaves us depleted. Rather, the holidays are meant to charge our batteries for the rest of the year. By focusing on the simha and the kashrut in equal measure, we fulfill the will of Hashem while maintaining our mental health. As you prepare your homes, remember that a kosher Pesach requires a healthy mind as much as a clean kitchen.

---

If you or a loved one are struggling with mental health, the Simha organization provides a database of vetted therapists and specialists to guide you toward the right support. For more information, contact office@simhahealth.org.

Linda Argalgi Sadacka

Before serving on the New York City Council, Simcha Felder spent many years in the state senate, where he became known for his focus on local governance and quality-of-life issues affecting his constituents in the 22^nd Senate District. In 2022, during his tenure as a state senator, he came to my home to present a Woman of Distinction award in recognition of my work in the community. The visit offered an opportunity to meet his staff and hear about the challenges facing our neighborhoods. I was struck by the seriousness, discipline, and clear commitment to serving constituents exhibited by both Felder and his staff members.

MOCA – A Mixed Bag

Earlier this month, New York City announced the appointment of Phylisa Wisdom to lead the Mayor’s Office to Combat Anti-Semitism, known as MOCA. The office was created in response to rising anti-Semitic incidents across the city, particularly following the surge in hate crimes and communal anxiety after October 7.

On paper, MOCA’s mission is straightforward: coordinate policy, strengthen protections, and address anti-Semitism at a citywide level. But for many in the Orthodox Jewish community, the appointment raised deeper questions – not simply about one individual, but about representation, process, and trust.

Councilman Simcha Felder has been among the most outspoken voices on the issue. He  described the appointment as a “shanda” (Yiddish for something scandalously shameful).

That is strong language. He does not apologize for it.

“I’m not saying every administration has to include this one or that one,” Felder said. “But when you look at the numbers and see that Orthodox Jews are, by far, the greatest recipients of anti-Semitic attacks, it’s just common sense that [individuals with] their perspective should be represented.”

Visibility Exploited

Felder’s argument is grounded in a simple reality: visibility.

“If somebody gets on a train with a yarmulke,” he said, “and with a beard even more… it’s a very simple calculation [that this man is Jewish].”

Visibly Orthodox Jews do not blend in. Their Jewish identity is not theoretical. It is apparent. And when anti-Semitism manifests physically, it disproportionately targets those who are most visibly Jewish.

For Felder, any office created to combat anti-Semitism must begin with that lived experience.

Phylisa Wisdom’s Record

The new MOCA director previously worked at YAFFED, an organization that has been sharply critical of aspects of the yeshiva education system. That background, Felder argues, matters at a time when trust between City Hall and Orthodox communities is already strained.

Wisdom’s prior role at YAFFED is central to the concern. YAFFED has advocated for increased state oversight of yeshivas and has publicly challenged elements of Orthodox education. Many within the Orthodox community view the organization not simply as reform-oriented, but as adversarial – targeting institutions they consider foundational to Jewish religious life. For families who have experienced years of investigations, scrutiny, and political pressure surrounding their schools, that history is not abstract. It shapes their perception. When leadership of an office tasked with combating anti-Semitism comes from an organization that many Orthodox Jews feel worked against their core communal institutions, the issue becomes one of credibility. Trust, once strained, cannot be rebuilt by title alone.

The concern, as Felder frames it, is not personal. It is structural.

“This is not about rhetoric,” he emphasized. “It’s about responsibility.”

Felder Speaks Out

Felder recalls telling the mayor that he would prefer not to publicly criticize City Hall. “I would prefer not having to comment about anything that goes on,” he said. “But if somebody does something that’s outrageous… I have no choice but to respond. Not responding [by being  silent] is agreement.”

He is aware that speaking bluntly can carry political consequences. But retaliation, he suggested, cannot dictate principle.

“There’s always somebody around that would like to hurt me,” he said, “no matter what I say or don’t say. So, I cannot be concerned with that.”

The deeper issue, in his view, is representation.

Who defines anti-Semitism? Who shapes policy? And who is consulted before major appointments are made?

For Felder, visibly religious Jews must not be sidelined in those conversations. They are not an abstract constituency. They are the people most frequently encountering anti-Semitism on sidewalks, in parks, and on public transportation.

Confronting the Current Reality

Ora Sheri Toiv, Senior Advisor, framed the issue in broader terms.

“This conversation is not about rhetoric,” she said. “It’s about whether New York City is positioned to meet the current moment with clarity and seriousness.”

That clarity, Felder believes, requires acknowledging the reality on the ground.

At the same time, he draws a careful distinction between city governance and broader political debates. Before first running for office, a mentor gave him advice he has never forgotten.

Felder’s Mandate

“You are not the prime minister,” the rabbi told him. “If you are a city councilman, make sure the garbage gets picked up. Make sure the buses have better routes. Don’t louse up transportation.”

That guidance still shapes his approach.

“It is not by the constitution of the city,” Felder said, “that the job is to run foreign policy. The job is to make sure sanitation works, transportation works, playgrounds are built.”

In his district, he points to tangible improvements: parks constructed with tax dollars, infrastructure upgrades, quality-of-life interventions. Governance, he believes, must focus relentlessly on what directly affects families day-to-day.

But anti-Semitism is not separate from our quality of life. It is central to it.

Prioritize NYPD Resources

When asked what concrete measures the city should prioritize immediately, Felder’s answered: more NYPD resources.

“Additional NYPD resources are absolutely necessary,” he said. Felder has advocated for increased policing since the Mayor De Blasio era, often, he notes, as a lone voice. He acknowledged that Speaker Menin recognizes the need for stronger enforcement, but Felder stresses that recognition must translate into deployment.

Swastikas defacing yeshivas. Jewish cemeteries vandalized. “The other week,” Felder noted, “we had 100 swastikas at Gravesend Playground.”

These are not symbolic incidents. They are visible reminders of vulnerability.

The debate over MOCA cannot be divorced from this reality.

Governor Hochul Stands Back

Felder also addressed criticism surrounding the invitation extended to Governor Kathy Hochul following the anti-Semitic vandalism. He emphasized that the issue was not about personalities, but about the governor’s authenticity.

“Why didn’t the governor want to be photographed at the Magen David Yeshivah that was defaced with swastikas?” Felder asked. “It wasn’t a problem with distance. It’s literally right there.”

He argued that the visit felt curated, avoiding visible evidence of the anti-Semitic damage.

“She wanted a political photo-op that showed no evidence of the vandalism we dealt with that day,” Felder said. “I find that hypocritical.”

This Too Shall Pass

For readers who feel anxious or powerless, Felder offers neither denial nor despair.

“Gam zeh ya’avor,” he said. This too shall pass.

Felder points to history. “NYC has been in the dumps before,” he said. “And we’ve seen a really great mayor, like Rudy Giuliani for example, come in and turn things around.”

Change, in his view, is possible. But it requires engagement.

Get Involved

“People who want to have a direct say in how things are run in their neighborhood should go to their Community Board meetings,” Felder said. “Go to NYPD precinct council meetings. These are the places where every day people can show up and have a direct say.”

Felder has actively recruited community members to serve on local boards. Representation, he argues, begins locally.

For Felder, civic participation is key.

“Vote,” he said. “I would go so far as to say it is a sin not to vote.”

Trust between communities and government is fragile. If Jewish New Yorkers begin to lose confidence in institutions meant to protect them, the consequences extend beyond policy.

“Our government is a government of the people, by the people, and for the people,” Felder said. “They can only do the things we fear if we let them.”

Silence, he suggests, empowers overreach. Engagement restrains it.

Address Anti-Semitism Properly

Referring to the appointment of an anti-Semitism “czar,” Felder recalled a famous exchange from Fiddler on the Roof when a villager askes, “Rabbi, is there a proper blessing for the Czar?” The rabbi responds, “… Of course! May Gd bless and keep the Czar… far away from us!”

It was delivered with humor. But the underlying message was serious.

Institutions created to combat anti-Semitism must build trust, not deepen suspicion.

New York is home to one of the largest Jewish populations in the world outside of Israel. The stakes are not small. When anti-Semitism rises here, it reverberates far beyond city limits.

The creation of MOCA acknowledged that the problem is urgent. The debate surrounding its leadership reflects something equally significant: the Jewish community is engaged.

And in a city like New York, engagement is leverage.

The Path Forward

The path forward, Felder believes, is twofold. Speak clearly when necessary. Focus relentlessly on quality of life. Show up. Vote. Serve.

“If it hurts, you scream,” he said. “You don’t think about it.”

But after the scream comes the work.

Sanitation. Policing. Representation. Budget priorities. Civic participation.

Combating anti-Semitism in New York is not a slogan. It is a test of governance. And governance, at its core, is about whether the people who feel exposed and vulnerable believe their city is standing with them – not in theory, but in practice.

Victor Cohen

Completing the entire Shas is a monumental achievement. The nearly 70 masechtot (tractates) of the Talmud consist of 2,710 pages of intricate, complex analyses of an exceptionally wide range of topics, among which are interspersed numerous stories and anecdotes, as well as Midrashic interpretation of verses from Tanach – all in Aramaic. Shas is a tall mountain that many people take a lifetime to climb.

Once a year, however, a group of devoted men spend a day engrossed in the study of the Gemara so they can together complete the entire body of text. The annual Shas-A-Thon was held this year on Sunday, February 8^th, bringing together 600 participants who studied in havrutot (pairs), each of which covered 8-10 pages of Gemara.  In order to participate, every pair was required to raise $12,000 for ATIME, a special organization that helps couples struggling with infertility. What a beautiful combination of intensive Torah and hesed at the highest level!

Once the Shas was completed, the participants gathered for a festive dinner befitting the significance of their accomplishment, with uplifting speeches and a soul-stirring kumzitz.

We sat down with Shas-A-Thon participants Israel Sasson, Ezra Netanel, Yossi Abadi, and Rabbi Isaac Shamula from YDE to hear their stories about this special day, and with Simcha Gold, a longtime community advocate and dedicated supporter of ATIME who has participated in this event for the past seven years, to learn more about the amazing work done by ATIME to help couples bring children into the world.

a longtime community advocate and dedicated supporter of ATIME who has participated in this event for the past seven years,

“They Go All Out”

Rabbi Shamula shared that after he prayed shaharit that morning in Shaare Zion, there was a car outside waiting for him, ready to transport him to the Shas-A-Thon. The learning began promptly at 10:30 – and nobody could be late! The organizers therefore arranged transportation for all participants, helping to ensure that everyone started learning on time.

“You walk in, and you see they’re committed to making it a beautiful experience,” Rabbi Shamula continued. “They go all out. They want you to be as comfortable as possible so that when it comes to the learning, it’s smooth.”

Israel Sasson and his havruta – his son, David – arrived a full hour early, at 9:30, and they found a “huge breakfast” waiting for them. Ezra Netanel and Avrahmai Chams also enthused about the breakfast prepared for them.

“There was every type of coffee you could ever want there,” Ezra Netanel said.

From 10:30am, the enormous bet midrash was filled with the beautiful sound of 600 people from many different segments of the Jewish world learning Gemara.

As people approached the area, they were greeted by a loud noise. Rabbi Shamula recalls hearing somebody asked, “What is that?  Is it the AC?”

“No,” Rabbi Shamula replied. “It’s the sound of 600 people learning!”

A Race Against the Clock

At 1:30pm, after three hours of hard work, the participants were given a one-hour lunch break, which was followed by minhah. After minhah, the Gemaras were reopened – and this is where the pressure began to mount.

“Past minhah it gets very intense,” Israel Sasson said. “You’re up against the clock.” The material needed to be finished by 5:30pm, so those final two-and-half hours were especially charged.  

“By the time you finish, you feel like you finished the whole Shas even though you only did 10 dapim [pages],” Israel added.

As mentioned, each pair needed to raise $12,000. Those who raised $18,000 or more were rewarded with the opportunity to choose in advance which pages of Gemara they would learn. And then there were those for whom even $18,000 wasn’t enough.

“My havruta and I have what the organizers call a meshugas [quirk],” Yossi Abadi said. “Although ATIME asks us to raise $12,000, Rabbi Moshe Mustacchi and I raised this year over $36,000, and lifetime about $250,000.”

After the study of each daf (page), the participant scanned a barcode that signifies its completion, and then the dapim counter goes up on the big screen in the front of the room. Watching the daf count go up throughout the day is an exhilarating experience, as you witness the result of 600 Jews inching toward the completion of the entire Shas, one grueling line of Gemara at a time.

Unity & Togetherness

Naturally, being part of such a large group of students of Torah exposes the participant to many different kinds of people – including fascinating and inspiring figures. Israel Sasson met a young man at their table named Yossi Hecht, who sat in a wheelchair and would be unanimously described as the highlight of the day.

Regular Shas-A-Thon participants reunited and spoke with their old friends whom they met in previous years, and whom they see only at this annual event.

In addition to the 600 learners, there is a team of Shas advisors on standby in case someone has a question or is struggling to complete their section.

“It’s incredible,” Israel said. “You feel the unity [ahdut] and the togetherness to get over the finish line.”

The counter on the screen starts flying… 500… 1,000… 1,500… 2,000… 2,500… and then – 2710, dramatically signaling the completion of the entire Shas. The participants could not put into words the sense of accomplishment and gratification that they sensed.

But as exciting and uplifting as the learning was, the evening program – the dinner and kumzitz – was no less inspiring, and every bit as unforgettable.

 “I always say – I don’t know how they can top last year,” Ezra Netanel said. “But then I walked in and somehow, they did it.”

To celebrate the completion of Shas, ATIME provides the devoted participants an unbelievably wide array of dishes, desserts and beverages – truly a sight to behold.

Learning From Yossi

But for these outstanding, spiritually-driven individuals, it is the speeches – not the food – that bring so many of them back year after year. The speeches are always inspiring and meaningful. This year, one speech stood out from all the rest – the address given by the awe-inspiring Yossi Hecht.

Yossi suffered from cancer, and is bound to a wheelchair. Never despairing, and never stopping from extending the limits of possibility, Yossi – with Hashem’s help – recently welcomed his first child into the world. The Shas-A-Thon participants were spellbound upon listening to Yossi speak about his story.

 There was not a dry eye in the room.

The speech is available on Shas-A-Thon’s website, where it will, hopefully, reach a wide audience to spread Yossi’s remarkable message of hope and determination.

“If people who go through those challenges could make it,” Israel Sasson said, “then we could overcome the things that we call challenges in our lives.”

The evening concluded with a large kumzitz, with soulful singing and bonding

“They always have a song that is the unofficial anthem of Shas-A-Thon,” Yossi Abadi said. “It’s the song Vezakeini. When you have hundreds of men singing this in unison, this is by far the most emotional moment of the entire day, the culmination of everything we worked on, coming to fruition.”

This year’s kumzitz was graced by the presence of the Razel brothers – a remarkably talented team of arrangers, composers, and conductors.

“He’s playing piano with one hand and with the other hand getting everyone into it,” Ezra said.

Mordechai Ben David also made a surprise appearance.

“The dancing is unbelievable,” Ezra continued. “And you grab the guy next to you and you don’t even know who he is. You see guys you only see once a year and tell them, ‘I danced with you last year, I have to dance with you again!’”

Appreciating the Little Things

The night left a lasting impact on everyone who participated. And they keep coming back, year after year, finishing Shas together annually as a group.

“They do me a favor by allowing me to be part of it,” Rabbi Shamula said, expressing a sentiment echoed by many others. “Every year you finish and you think you have to be back next year.”

“One year,” Ezra said, “one of the speakers talked about his struggles having children. Then, that year he was happy to announce that he had triplets, and wanted to give everyone in the room a hug. The entire room then lined up, and he gave each person a hug.”

Israel Sasson, who learns with his son, David, spoke about how this experience affected his general outlook.

“It makes you appreciate the smaller things in life,” he said. “Life throws things at you and doesn’t always ask for your permission. People out there overcome hurdles that they perhaps didn’t anticipate. But on a different note, it makes you feel like there’s hope that no matter what happens in life, you can still move forward and overcome any hurdle.

“Shas-A-Thon breathes a fresh life into our daily routine and reignites our hope for a better future. Like a light at the end of the tunnel.”

ATIME’s Helping Hand

An estimated 20 percent of all couples struggle with infertility, and most of them do not know where to turn or how to begin to overcome this hurdle that stands in the way of their dream to build a family. ATIME is committed to holding the couple’s hand through every stage of the process, and ensuring they are given all the help they need along this journey. Ordinarily, it can take couples three or four years (!!!) to schedule an appointment for fertility treatment.  ATIME, with its large network of specialists, can usually arrange an appointment within just a few months.

The organization also offers logistical support, connecting the couple to various important resources, as well as knowledgeable rabbis to help them navigate the difficult halachic questions that arise in the context of fertility treatment.

No less importantly, ATIME offers much-needed emotional support, seeing to it that the couple never feels alone, that they always have a professional team accompanying them at every step along this difficult road. The organization runs Shabbat programs, getaways, and special events for families going through this process. Its staff also regularly checks in, and sends packages for Yom Tov.

“When they do an event,” Simcha Gold explains, “they want people to feel comfortable. For many of these couples, they want to give them an escape.”

The Shas-A-Thon is how ATIME fundraises for this important endeavor. Simcha says that most of the event’s participants do not struggle with infertility, but they recognize the vitally important service that ATIME provides, and they want to support its work. They solicit donations from generous sponsors who want to facilitate Torah learning as a source of merit for couples waiting for the blessing of children.

One of the most rewarding experiences for regular Shas-A-Thon participants is meeting and hearing from couples whose dream was finally fulfilled.

Ezra, who participated this year for the tenth time, said, “It’s amazing to see couples who started out walking alone, but who are now walking around in strollers. It’s a tremendous feeling of satisfaction knowing the learning you do helps someone.”

Yossi Abadi has participated in the Shas-A-Thon for 12 years, since 2014. In 2017, he and his wife endured the traumatic experience of a stillbirth. He credits Shas-A-Thon and ATIME with helping him overcome this tragedy.

“ATIME was there to help us through the grieving process. They provided whatever help we needed through therapy, logistics that we weren’t prepared to handle with regard to the baby, and, eventually, accompanying us during the next steps in our journey to continue on with our everyday lives. We feel tremendous hakarat hatov [gratitude] to the organization. As long as there are still Jewish couples out still praying and hoping for children, I’ll be there at Shas-A-Thon doing my best to help. “I pray and hope every year that the organizers of Shas-A-Thon will tell us, ‘We’re pleased to announce that there will be no need for a Shas-A-Thon this year because everyone throughout the Jewish Nation has a child in their homes.’ Until that time comes, though, you can bet we’ll be sitting and shteiging [diligently learning] for them.”

QUESTION: 

Dear Rabbi Ali,

Thank you for your column, it has given me so many practical tips that really enhanced my marriage. There is one topic that I heard you speak about that resonates with me, that is “being pleasant to be around.” Baruch Hashem, my wife and I have a great relationship. However, my wife is negative all the time. That negativity is not directed towards me, but rather about anything and everything going on in her daily life. I tried getting her to listen to your class but she didn’t want to. Do you have any advice?

R’ Ali’s Response: 

First, I’d like to elaborate on this concept to gain more clarity and then, with Hashem’s help, I will answer your question.

We all love our spouse and want to feel loved as well (I say feel, because they do love you). When people are easy-going, kind, appreciative, and patient, we enjoy being around them. And unfortunately, the opposite is true. When people are unkind, are ingrates, or are impatient, they are  less appealing to be around.

When it comes to our spouse, generally, when we’re pleasant and easy-going, they will want to spend more time with us. The things that we want and maybe even need can come organically as opposed to “pulling teeth.” 

People often call me saying that they feel like their spouse has no interest in them. When we discuss the situation, I realize that they make it hard to be around them! This can happen when they do not let their spouse talk, criticize them, or ignore them by being consistently on their phone. The simple antidote is to make sure you’re someone you would like to be around. This is not always the case, but it is very common.

Getting back to your question, there are a few things to think about. I always like people to understand both sides, as clarity is half of the battle. The first question to ask yourself is: is she really negative or are you just exhausted and lack the patience to listen to her talk? I have no reason to believe that you are or are not patient, I’m just throwing this out there to cover all of my bases.

If she is negative all of the time, it’s important to understand why and what you can do about it. Maybe she’s ultra-sensitive and has a low tolerance for discomfort. Not that this will stop the negativity, but it can give you some clarity on her behavior and you can look at her in a better light. She may be struggling as opposed to annoying. Also, you should see if there are things that you can do to relieve her of other daily stressors. 

You can also change your perspective a little and look at your listening to her vent as giving your wife something that she needs. You would love to buy her everything she wants in order to make her happy, so why not be a listening ear, which is free?!

She isn’t negative toward you, which is important to acknowledge. That is a good thing! Unfortunately, it is not uncommon to direct negativity at a spouse, which is not great.

After you’ve thought about all of these points, I have one idea that can be helpful for many other situations. You can always say, “I need some time to unwind or to take care of something, and after that, I’m all ears.”  This gives you time to mentally prepare for the negativity and possibly a very long conversation. This has to be done gently and not with aggression,  chas v’shalom. And, of course, pray to Hashem for assistance in your marriage.