Victor Cohen

Our traditions in large part define our community. Many of us are named after our grandparents, giving us a link to past generations. When our community first arrived in the United States, we focused on staying close to each other and to keeping our beloved traditions alive. We treasured our pizmonimand our different customs. Our community was well-known for how connected we were to our past and how we worked together to keep from assimilating.

Over the past century, we have largely avoided being consumed by the culture around us, popular culture has still seeped through, in ways large and small. We follow sports, listen to popular music, and participate in popular American activities. This is not all bad. However, unfortunately, being distracted by the culture outside of our own has meant that over time, our own songs and customs have started to become forgotten. Few people in our community now wake up for Bakashot, like those attend the Ades Synagogue in Jerusalem.

Certainly, our traditions have been completely abandoned. In large part, the younger generation is bringing them back, studying the songs of our ancestors and reviving them. Someone leading the charge is the prominent community hazzan, Ikey Levy. He has been a hazzan for over ten years and has been the hazzan for the Eatontown Synagogue for the last four years. Let’s listen to some of Ikey’s insights into the world of our heritage with traditional music and how it is making a comeback today.

Building a Connection to Our Heritage Through Hazzanut

Ikey has always had a great voice, but he did not always sing. Here’s how he got his start. Ikey’s father liked singing the song Habibi at the Shabbat table with Ikey’s older brother Aaron, who was eleven when Ikey was five. One Friday night, Aaron, who also has a great voice, was not around. So, Ikey’s father called him over to sing, and was astonished by what he could do.

Ikey’s father taught him the basic pizmonim and took him to various sebets on Shabbat so that he could hear how others sang. “He’d take me to two sebets a day sometimes just to hear them,” Ikey reminisced.

Then Ikey’s training really went to another level. “When I studied in Israel,” he said, “I went to study by Moshe Habusha with a group of five other boys. Habusha is one of the top hazzanim in the world.” Ikey studied there for nine months, and Habusha gave Ikey a strong foundation in hazzanut, from which he could expand.

Inhazzanut,there are certain musical scales called ma’amat. They start and end on certain notes, and when training to become a hazzan, you learn how to sing many of them.

One can incorporate his own creativity when it comes to when and how the ma’amat are used within a passage. “Sometimes when you listen to the music or have instructions from another hazzan, you have instructions on how to infuse one maqam with more personality,” Ikey said.

He explained that the key for an aspiring hazzan is to listen to Middle Eastern music, which will help you expand your options. In a way, it is similar to learning to play chess. You can study by learning all of the different openings, or studying different patterns, but there is something special that comes with watching a true master perform. The same goes for hazzanut, and the more a hazzan listens, the more he can become inspired in his own songs to try out different methods. It is a highly creative, fulfilling pursuit with lifelong learning.

Educating the Community

Ikey taught pizmonim in YDE for five years, then taught keriah and pizmonim in Hillel Yeshiva for two years. Currently he tutors privately, and also tries to help encourage knowledge of our community’s traditions. To that end, he began a community minhagim WhatsApp chat, which is not dedicated only to hazzanut. In the chat he informs members about traditions from Aleppo, Damascus, Lebanon, Jerusalem, and Egypt. “Things get mixed up,” Ikey said, adding that “we just want to know where each custom originates from.”

Certain customs we follow today were not always done universally. “In Halab, they did not stand for Alenu Leshabeah.” Everywhere else in the Middle East, they stood.

“Aleppo used to be unique in that way.” Ikey said he knows one elder who, following this custom, still sits during Alenu! “I’m not saying that we all start changing what we do, but to me it is fascinating to see where certain customs originate from. In Syria, some didn’t have the custom to bow at all for Barechu, others did a small bow based on the Ben Ish Hai’s opinion, but in Egypt they stood up and bowed.”

The Weakening of Our Customs

There was a certain beauty to the old customs, accompanied by a level of devotion and a sense of community that is not easy to capture in words. Ikey described how he used to go to Bakashot when he lived in Brooklyn. “In my time in Brooklyn, I’d wake up Shabbat mornings 6am for Bakashot by Rabbi Mansour’s old Knis. Between 6:30 and 7:45, every Shabbat morning, Menachem Mustaki, Mordechai Salem, and Haim Eliyahu, were all there.” When Moshe Habusha, Ikey’s teacher from Israel, came in, the whole room filled up.

“It was very electric in the building,” Ikey reminisced. “It warms my heart when we do those things, because people forget what our community did in the old days in the Lower East Side and in Bensonhurst where they’d sing Bakashot in people’s houses.

“Unfortunately the greater part of Bakashot, most of our community has forgotten,” Ikey said. But pointed out how parts of Bakashot live on in other forms, such as songs, for example: Ki Eshmera Shabbat and Yom Zeh Shiru Lae-l were originally from Bakashot. Today, the Bakashot still are heard early Shabbat mornings at Rabbi Mansour’s new Knis.

Ikey recalled howsebets used to run, “lead by the hazzan, the crowd would sing pizmonim well into the afternoon with the Hacham speaking words of Torah either before or in between. Today, however, there’s more emphasis on speeches from friends and family members along with other genres of songs being sung with much less of our pizmonim in focus. Again, I’m just pointing out the change.”

The New Revival of Our Customs

In an interesting twist, though, this decline is beginning to reverse itself where it was least expected. It is the younger generation that has begun to revive the old music. While some of the melodies are a little archaic, there are many that are still being sung today. “There are nineteen-year-olds singing in Arabic today,” Ikey said. While much of the decline was due to the overwhelming popular culture, we are starting to see a certain yearning for what came before. “If you look at Shaare Zion today,” Ikey said,“the younger crowd is reviving the old ways within the community. That is happening.Our job is to keep it going for as long as possible.”

Ikey pointed to a positive development. “The hazzan David Shiro is putting out albums of new songs, taking our old songs and putting new packaging to them. If people hear it, they might be inspired to hear more.”

Hopefully, the revival of our community’s old ways continues to grow from here. We have the unique ability to look both back to our history and forward to our future at the same time. Informed and enriched by the traditions, songs, and ways of our past, we can strive towards the future, holding close to what makes us special.

Hazzan Ikey Levy performs professionally at weddings and special occasions.  Please contact him at 347-715-0350. He can also be found on Instagram @hazzan_ikey and on YouTube at youtube.com/@IkeyLevy.

Machla Abramovitz

Sometimes, fairy tales do come true.  Such was the case with the Shore Area Mikveh, which was in drastic need of repair and was revived and transformed into a magnificent palace imbued with serenity and kedusha, as befitting the unique mitzvah it embodies. 

The women taking advantage of this newly renovated space, in turn, step into a wonderland of luxury and comfort and, during their short stay, feel themselves equally transformed into royalty.

From Dream to Reality

It was a project that, once begun, incurred the blessings of shamayim, hastening its speedy completion under extremely challenging conditions and with the skillful hands of a highly talented and dedicated team of professionals:  a creative community fundraiser, a uniquely-gifted designer, highly experienced builders who all accomplished the impossible, all united in their goal of elevating this mitzvah onto a higher plane and completing the project on schedule.

It was also a credit to its Rabbinic council – Rabbi Shmuel Choueka, Rabbi Shlomo Diamond, Rabbi Moshe Malka, Rabbi Saul J. Kassin, and Rabbi Edmond Nahum, who provided spiritual guidance and, when given the option between a much nicer but more costly décor, looked the other way and approved the more expensive choice in keeping with the commandment of beautifying a mitzvah.

The Heart of the Community

However, it was largely due to the efforts of Eddie Mizrahi, who stepped up in every possible way to make this project financially viable.  As president, Eddie took on the responsibility of fundraising and established a new mikveh committee with Maurice Zekaria as vice president and Edgar Cohen as treasurer.

“We have the most generous and special community on the face of the earth,” says Maurice Zekaria.  “Without their financial support, we could not have gotten the project off the ground, whether it was the donor money or those that helped with short-term loans.   What other community could do that?”

Today, when one enters the newly renovated stucco edifice, one encounters a waiting room wallpapered with large haiku flowers and branches, blush colored, as well as a cascade of plaster flowers.  Arches connect additional spaces that bear additional memorials, including a breathtaking matriarch wall, the inspiration of Eddie Mizrahi, and dedicated by Jack A. Kassin.

The Matriarch Wall was built in memory of Mrs. Mazal Kassin, the wife of Chief Rabbi Jacob Kassin, zt”l, who built the community by setting its religious standards.  Fifteen preparation rooms, including a magnificent bridal suite and four pools, branch out from the reception and waiting areas.  All rooms are painted a soft cream and creamy white; they flow harmoniously into one another, their newness glistening, producing an aura of luxury and serenity.  During the summer, when the town of Deal is overflowing with summer residents, this community mikveh accommodates over eighty women nightly, a number that has been steadily growing.

Mikveh manager Elyse Kairey still cannot believe her eyes.  Having served the mikveh for 25 years, she never thought she would see the day when the community mikveh she loved and dedicated her life to so generously would physically reflect the splendor of the mitzvah it embodies.

Under the spiritual guidance and care of Rabbi Shmuel Choueka, this mikveh accommodates a broad spectrum of women from all walks of life.  Elyse and her team of beautiful, hard-working, committed women work diligently to make every attendee feel as comfortable as possible.  As the community’s mother mikveh, it accommodates special times, many out-of-towners and kallah teachers from different states who, she says, “are looking for a serene, easy-going place for their brides, a place that will provide them with the TLC they need and a time to pray.”

The Need for Renewal

Only three years ago, the mikveh’s future didn’t seem as promising.   Humidity and inadequate air circulation had left their marks since its previous renovation 16 years ago:  tiles fell off the walls, telephones stopped working, and water compressors that control the water filtration system broke down often, at considerable expense to the mikveh.   It was hard to keep up with the mikveh’s rapid deterioration.

Elyse recalls the day when yet another compressor broke, and Rabbi Choueka gave the go-ahead to move forward with a significant renovation. 

Divine Inspiration

It was in 2022, during a conversation with Debra Shiloach, that Elyse mentioned the need for a renovation and Debra, as a talented interior designer, volunteered to undertake the project.  Debra was no novice when it came to designing mikvaot.  She has worked on a small mikveh in Ocean City, Maryland, dedicated in memory of her mother-in-law, Molly Shiloach.  She has also worked under the guidance of interior designer, Abie Jerome, who designed the renowned Carroll Street Mikvah in Crown Heights, which was a major inspiration for her.  “That mikveh took what a mikveh could be to another level; it enabled women to have a different kind of experience,” Debra recalls.

Inspired and anxious to start, she began researching her sources.  She hit upon a haiku-patterned wallpaper that deeply moved her and proved to be the inspiration for the entire décor.

Rising to the Challenge

Unfortunately, it would not be until two years later, when Maurice Zekaria offered to take over the reins of the project, that matters came to a head.  Maurice, who has left his mark on many significant buildings and structures in Deal was also eager to get started. For him, it was yet another opportunity to give back to the community. 

This project, though, proved incredibly challenging in many ways.  “It was clear that we would have to gut the entire interior, which meant that the mikveh would be closed to the public for nearly six months – from January 2024 till the end of June 2024 – when the mikveh was desperately needed to accommodate the influx of summer residents in Deal.  “We had no choice,” explained Maurice Zekaria.

The possibility of keeping some parts open while closing off others was impossible – doing so, they said, would not resolve the air circulation problems that were primarily responsible for the rapid corrosion of the mikveh. 

Another challenge was that, unlike new construction, there were no building plans to follow.  “We had no time to make plans.  The builders, therefore, determined the plans on the job while the subcontractors were working.  This job was my toughest project yet.  Fortunately, we had an amazing team all around.”

“The biggest challenge, though, was that we had to do this quickly, yet we didn’t have a dollar in the bank to meet the budget.  We had to fundraise and borrow money from a handful of us.  We also had to do whatever we could to pay the contractors and subcontractors swiftly before even having a fundraising event.  So, we often met on-site with donors.  No doubt, Hashem was watching over us,” he says.

Despite these formidable challenges, they rolled up their sleeves and got started. 

Maurice brought in contractor, Richie Benedict, whose company Ray Builders, located in Lakewood, was responsible for building many prestigious buildings in the area. “Timing restraints didn’t allow us to do this job normally, so we often had dozens of contractors working in very tight corners simultaneously,” said Maurice.

“All of the tradesmen were religious Jewish businessmen,” Debra recalls, who worked closely with Maurice and Ray Builders.  “Every person was yirat shamayim.  They forged onward, united in their goal of opening this building for the women coming for the summer.  It was beautiful to see everyone working so cohesively.”

Community Support

Eddie Mizrahi, renowned for his community work and creativity, ran full steam ahead to raise the funds. He started off working with graphic designer Stacey Gindi to produce a professional, gorgeous brochure citing the mikveh’s history and including rabbinical endorsements.

Park Avenue Synagogue’s Rabbi Shmuel Choueka reminded the community, “how important a mikveh is to a community, surpassing many, if not most, other institutions. I urge all those who can participate in this magnificent mitzvah opportunity to do so, and may you all be blessed with success from your own families.” 

Rabbi Joey Haber emphasized, “There are a few things that every Jewish community needs to survive.  With them, you have a community; without them, you have no continuity.  One of those things is a mikveh.  The mikveh, like a shul, and a yeshivah, allows our traditions to endure. We live in a time where our homes are prettier, our cars are nicer, and our vacations are more beautiful.  How can our mikvaot not meet that same standard?”

Rabbi Shlomo Diamond also encouraged donors to give generously.  “All who help in this holy project are doing a tremendous mitzvah and will not only help support the renovation of the mikveh but bring untold beracha to themselves and their family and realize the blessings of the Torah,” he explained.

Eddie Mizrahi undertook organizing a gorgeous gala event to benefit the mikveh. He dedicated endless hours and worked diligently to ensure the success of the event. Working closely with party planner Norma Cohen, Stacey Gindi, Debra Shiloach, Ellen Sutton, and other volunteers, Eddie held a memorable event at Ely and Rena Cohen’s home last Memorial Day weekend.  Community rabbis spoke about the significance of completing this project.  They also honored the mikveh’s founders Ike Hidary, Sonny Laniado, and Manny Haber, while Rabbi Diamond presented them each with an award.

Eddie, along with Joe Mansour, produced a beautiful, inspiring video for the event. 

“With Hashem’s help, we raised the necessary funds,” Eddie says.

Meanwhile, Elyse and her group of mikveh ladies held down the fort.  They accommodated their regular women and others by teaming up with a small local mikveh.  “We spread the word that we would be closed for a few months; we took phone calls and sent the women to small local mikvaot.  We juggled.  We coordinated.  We didn’t put down the phone for six months.”

The Miracle of Completion

Elyse believes that the reopening of the mikveh at the end of June was nothing short of a miracle.  “The dedication of Eddie Mizrahi, Maurice Zekaria, Debra Shiloach, Richie, Baruch, and Eli Benedict, went way beyond,” she says.

It’s an endeavor, she believes, that is greatly appreciated by the community at large, especially the women using the mikveh, who express their appreciation on comment cards, thanking them with words written from the heart.

Looking Forward

Eddie Mizrahi, though, is not yet finished!  He is determined to raise another million, half of which will go towards finishing off the building and the other half towards the budget.  But it’s not the money that motivates him.  He’s put his heart and soul into this holy endeavor. His next project is to produce an all-women’s video (women speaking to women) to promote women going to the mikveh.

“This mikveh is like a spa.  It’s beautiful.  Since its opening, women who had never connected to their religion started coming.  I believe we created a nice buzz.  We made going to the mikveh cool,” he says.

The next event will be a Breakfast & Celebration in honor of community matriarch, Cookie Chera. It will be held in May at the beautiful home of Lisa and Lee Cohen, who, along with the Setton family, have generously sponsored the name of the campus. There are many sponsorships opportunities available ranging from the Bridal Mikveh Pool to the dressing rooms and mezuzot. For more information, please contact Eddie Mizrahi at (347) 260-0745.  “We built nothing short of a palace and wish to publicize this accomplishment to all women.”

Are Teenage Brains Really Different from Adult Brains?

Although your brain is full size by the time you are a teenager, your prefrontal cortex isn’t fully developed until your mid-twenties. The prefrontal cortex is responsible for higher brain functions, such as reasoning and good judgment.

Additionally, there is a specific region of the brain, called the amygdala,which is responsible for the person’s immediate reactions, including fear and aggressive behavior, and this region develops early. This explains some of the risky behavior of older teens, as their actions and decisions are guided more by the emotional and reactive amygdala and less by the thoughtful, logical prefrontal cortex.

Other changes in the brain during the teenage years include a big increase in the connections between the brain cells and in the effectiveness of the brain pathways. Also, the teen years is when nerve cells in the brain are developingmyelin, an insulating layer that helps the cells communicate better. All these changes are essential for the development of coordinated thought, action, and behavior.

These brain differences don’t mean that teenagers can’t make good decisions or tell the difference between right and wrong. It also doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t be held responsible for their actions. However, an awareness of these differences can help parents and teachers understand, anticipate, and manage the behavior of teens.

Adult Brain versus Teenage Brain

On the outside, the brain looks similar throughout one’s life. But some parts of the brain develop faster than others, especially in the early years. The parts that seek new thrills and exciting events develop faster than those parts that think through situations and avoid danger. Older teenagers are almost twice as likely to take risks than anyone else. As we grow older, and different parts of our brains develop, we tend to make safer choices rather than take risks.

Fact or Fiction??

Your brain gets smaller as you get older. This is true! As a person ages, hisbrain loses weight and shrinks a bit; however, only a few ounces are lost by age eighty, and most of that is water.

Inventions are the ingenious gadgets and machines that have made our lives a little more fun, interesting, and easier. Real inventions are the things that we did not think were possible yesterday, and yet, it would be difficult to live without today. From the tiny paperclip to the massive jet engine, every month we will explore the history behind our world’s most famous inventions and learn about the innovators that designed them.

This month we explore the history behind an invention that most of us likely just take for granted…

SUPER GLUE

As a publicity stunt, a Russian program risked a man’s life, just to prove the strength of a new type of Super Glue. They had their producer hanging upside down below a hot air balloon, with nothing but the glue to hold him in place!

The crew glued the soles of the producer’s shoes to a wooden board attached to the underside of the balloon, before flying it up to a height of 5,000 feet. Thankfully, the glue proved to be strong and the man did not fall.

A surprisingly large number of inventions owe a degree of unexpected good fortune to their success. This was certainly the case with the world-famous Super Glue which is found in most households. As a matter of fact., Super Glue was invented by accident, not once – but twice!

In 1942, chemist Dr. Harry Wesley Coover Jr. was attempting to make clear plastic gun sights to be put on guns used by Allied soldiers in WWII. Dr. Coover was experimenting with a form of cryanacrylic which while clear, proved unsuited for the role as it stuck to anything it came into contact with. Dr. Coover abandoned that formulation completely as it obviously wasn’t suitable for his current project, being too sticky.

Nine Years Later…

Nine years later, in 1951, Dr. Coover was working at Eastman Kodak. He was the supervisor of a project looking at developing a heat-resistant acrylate polymer for jet canopies for jet aircraft at Kodak’s Kingsport plant in Tennessee. 

While working on the project, one of his technicians, Fred Joyner, used the rediscovered Super Glue and tested it by spreading ethyl cyanoacrylate between a pair of refractometer prisms. To his surprise, the prisms became stuck very solidly together without the need of any heat or pressure. Rediscovering the substance, Dr. Coover now realized the great potential of such a product and appreciated its attributes. He tested it on various objects within the laboratory, and sure enough it worked consistently. Providing there was a small amount of moisture on the surfaces to be bonded, the objects stuck permanently each time.

Super Glue is Born

Dr. Coover eventually registered a patent for the glue and worked on refining the product for commercial production. Super glue first went on sale in 1958 under the name Eastman 910 before later naming it “Super Glue.” Eastman 910 was soon licensed to Loctite who dubbed it Loctite Quick set 404.

During the 1970s, various manufacturers produced their own take on the fast-setting glue with the strong bond, using Coover’s cryanoacrylic formula. Today, it has many names such as Krazy Glue, Glue Stitch, and SurgeSeal – but to most people it is Super Glue. Dr. Harry Coover became known as “Mr. Super Glue,” which pleased him.

Daring Stunts

Over the years, publicity stunts demonstrating the extreme fixing power of the adhesive have been publicized. One famous advertisement was broadcast on the Russian program, Chudo Tehniki (Wonders of Technology), which showed a man dangling upside down a hot air balloon at an altitude of 5,000 feet, held only by boots super-glued to a small wooden platform!

Medical Marvel

Dr. Coover was also proud of the adhesive’s lesser known but crucial role in medicine. During the Vietnam War, field surgeons found that cyanoacrylates sprayed over wounds incurred in battle could act as an emergency method of staunching blood blow. Today, newly-developed forms of cyanoacrylates are often used in surgery to close up incisions in conjunction with or in place of traditional sutures.

Acknowledged and Awarded 

Dr. Coover worked for Eastman Kodak until he “retired” in 1984 at the age of 67. But he never slowed down. He started his own consulting company. And for nine years, he was also a board member of a large chemical company.

In 2010, Dr. Coover, who had been involved in obtaining 460 patents during his career, received the National Medal of Technology and Innovation from President Barack Obama.

• Dr. Harry Coover

Dr. Harry Wesley Coover Jr., the inventor of Eastman 910, commonly known as Super Glue.

• Eastman 910

Super Glue first went on sale in 1958 under the name Eastman 910.

• One and the Same

Today, Dr. Coover’s Super Glue is available in a variety of names.

• Super Glue Patent

A copy of Dr. Coover’s patent which was filed in 1954. 

• Photo of Dr. Coover receiving the award from President Obama.

Dr. Harry Coover being awarded the National Medal of Technology and Innovation from President Barack Obama in 2010.

This Month’s Topic: A Planting Guide for Your Gardens

Michele Shrem 

Spring is here, and the promise of vibrant color fills the air. For gardeners in New York and New Jersey, spring is a time of renewed energy, a chance to transform bare earth into a tapestry of blossoms. But with the region’s unique climate, knowing what to plant and when is key to a successful spring garden. This article will give you a view of what some of our very own community members can show you. Please review these essential steps as a guide with everything from soil preparation to flower selection, ensuring your garden comes to life.

Understanding the Climate: New York and New Jersey fall within USDA hardiness zones six and seven, meaning we experience distinct seasons. Spring arrives gradually, with fluctuating temperatures and the potential for late frosts. This variability requires careful planning.  

Timing Is Everything: Early spring (March-April) is ideal for planting cool-season flowers that tolerate light frosts. Late spring (May-June) welcomes warm-season blooms that thrive in rising temperatures.

Soil Considerations: Our region’s soils can vary, from sandy to clay-rich. A soil test is recommended to determine pH and nutrient levels. Adding compost or well-rotted manure to the soil improves drainage and fertility.

Preparing Your Garden Beds:A thriving garden begins with healthy soil.

Clearing and Cultivating: Remove weeds, debris, and any remaining winter mulch. Loosen the soil with a garden fork or tiller to a depth of 12 inches. Break up clumps of soil and remove rocks.

Soil Amendments:These are additions that improve the quality of your soil. Incorporate compost or aged manure to enrich the soil. If your soil test indicates a pH imbalance, amend accordingly (lime for acidic soil, sulfur for alkaline). Add slow-release fertilizer to provide essential nutrients.

Flower Selections

PANSIES: from Betty S.

I absolutely love pansies! They’re like little bursts of pure joy in the garden, with their incredible range of colors.It’s like having a whole rainbow at your fingertips. I’ve found they thrive best when they get a good mix of sun and shade, so keep that in mind when you’re planting. And don’t forget to keep their soil nice and moist. What I love most is how versatile they are. I use them to create vibrant borders along my flowerbeds and I also plant them in containers to brighten up my patio and windowsills. They add such a cheerful touch wherever you put them!

PRIMROSES: from: Shirley E.

There’s something so charming about primroses. They’re so delicate and pretty, and that sweet fragrance! It’s like a little breath of spring every time I walk by them. I’ve learned they really prefer a bit of shade, and well-drained soil is a must. I’ve found they’re perfect for those tricky spots in my garden that don’t get a ton of direct sunlight – those shady corners where other flowers just don’t seem to thrive. Primroses brighten those shady corners right up!

DAFFODILS: from Judy M.

These are a classic for a reason. When the bright yellows or vivid whites pop up in spring, it’s like the garden is saying, “Spring is here!” I always make sure to plant the bulbs in the fall, but, they’re very forgiving. They do well in full sun, at least six hours of direct sunlight a day. But, if necessary, they can tolerate partial shade.  They need well-drained soil, not soggy. They are very hearty, which is perfect for me because I don’t always have time for fussing over plants. They practically take care of themselves, and then when spring arrives, they pop up and bring a cheerful burst of color. They’re so easy and reliable.

TULIPS: from Frieda C.

My garden must have tulips, and I look forward to them all year! To me, they define elegance and are so classic. I always make sure to get my bulbs planted in the fall, and then the anticipation builds all winter, waiting for those gorgeous blooms. You can have them in partial shade, but they will do much better in full sunlight, and well-drained soil. And the variety is just incredible! You can find them in practically any color you can imagine, and they come in a wonderful variety of different shapes and sizes. It’s like having a whole floral art gallery in your backyard. I love mixing and matching them to create stunning displays. They bring such a sophisticated touch.

HYDRANGEAS: from Lori S.

For the last few years, I’ve really gotten into hydrangeas, and they are a great addition to a garden. They really give you that lush, full look, and the color is just incredible! You can get those beautiful blues, pinks, even purples, depending on your soil. I’d recommend finding a spot with morning sun and some afternoon shade – they seem to really appreciate that. And don’t forget to keep them well-watered, especially in the summer. Once you see them bloom, you’ll be hooked! They add such a classic, elegant touch to any yard.

ROSES: from Susie E.

Growing roses can be a challenge, but the key is sun and water. They love basking in the sun for at least six hours a day, otherwise they don’t seem to bloom as well. Keep them consistently watered, especially when it’s really hot and dry. You don’t want them to be soaking wet, but the soil should stay nice and moist. Watering them at the base, not overhead, can help prevent pesky diseases. When you get it right, there’s nothing quite like a blooming rose! They add a classic, elegant touch to any garden.

LILIES: from Bella T.

Not only are lilies elegant, but they will fill your home with the scent of spring. Incredible! They especially thrive well if given the proper amount of  water and sunlight. They do best with a good amount of sun – ideally at least six hours. It helps them bloom so beautifully. Keep their soil consistently moist, but not soggy. Putting mulch around them helps keep the soil moist and cool, and it helps keep the weeds down! It’s just breathtaking once they start blooming. The colors, the scent…they just add such a sophisticated touch to any garden!

CROCUSES: from Sara B.

I love to plant crocuses because they are one of the first flowers to bloom in spring. They peek through the cold ground with little bursts of color. After the long winter I keep checking my lawn waiting for them to pop up. They grow low to the ground, but they still make a statement because they are so colorful. I always plant my bulbs in the fall, and they’re pretty easygoing. They need a good amount of sun to really thrive, but they’re not overly fussy. They like moisture, especially when they’re actively growing, but they definitely need well-drained soil, so they don’t get waterlogged. They are a great addition for any garden.

PETUNIAS: from Linda G.

These flowers are a burst of color, and you can find them in practically any shade you can imagine. They’re easy to care for, too – just make sure they get plenty of sunshine and the soil drains well. They look stunning in hanging baskets or containers, and they can add a beautiful touch to your balcony or patio.

MARIGOLDS: from Vicky L.

These flowers are a game-changer! The sunny colors brighten up the whole garden! As a bonus they naturally keep pests away. You’ll want to plant them where they get a lot of sun, and make sure the soil drains nicely. They are incredibly hardy, which means even if you’re not a seasoned gardener, they’re super easy to grow and they will thrive.

SNAPDRAGONS: from Esther A.

This flower is so elegant, standing tall with beautiful blooms in all sorts of colors. If you want to add a little height to your garden, they are perfect! They’re not too fussy, either. They’ll do great in full sunlight or a bit of shade. Just make sure the soil drains well. And when you cut a few stems and bring them inside, they look absolutely stunning in a vase! You’ll be so glad you planted them.

BEGONIAS: from Carol M.

These flowers are very diverse, and come in many shapes and colors. They thrive in shaded areas and are great for containers. They come in many different forms, from those with showy flowers to those grown for their beautiful leaves. They can be used in any garden or even indoors, and have long-lasting blooms. They thrive in shaded or partially shaded areas, making them perfect for those spots where other flowers struggle, and they prefer well-drained soil and consistent moisture. Some have very large and vibrant flowers. They are great for containers and hanging baskets, and add color to patios and indoor spaces. They can also be used in flower beds and borders to create various landscaping designs.

Planting Techniques

Seed Starting: For some flowers, starting seeds indoors six to eight weeks before the last frost allows for earlier blooms.Use seed-starting mix and provide adequate light and moisture.

Transplanting: When transplanting seedlings or purchased plants, dig a hole slightly larger than the root ball, gently loosen the roots, and place the plant in the hole, ensuring the crown is at soil level. Fill the hole with soil and firm it gently. Water thoroughly.

Bulb Planting: Bulbs such as tulips and daffodils are planted in the fall. Plant them at the correct depth, as directed on the bulb packaging. Provide well-draining soil.

Maintenance and Care

Watering: Water deeply and regularly, especially during dry periods. Avoid overwatering, which can lead to root rot.

Fertilizing: Feed flowering plants with a balanced fertilizer every four to six weeks to encourage blooming.

Deadheading: Remove wilted blooms to promote continuous flowering.

Mulching: Apply a layer of mulch around plants to retain moisture, suppress weeds, and regulate soil temperature.

Creating a Colorful Display

Color Harmony: Consider color combinations that complement each other. Use a color wheel to guide your selections.

Height and Texture: Vary plant heights to create visual interest. Combine plants with different textures for added dimension.

Succession Planting: Plant flowers with staggered bloom times to ensure continuous color throughout the spring.

Container Gardening: Container gardening is a great way to add color to patios, balconies, and small spaces. Use high quality potting soil. Ensure adequate drainage. By following these guidelines, you can create a stunning spring garden that brings joy and beauty to your New York or New Jersey home. Remember to embrace the changing seasons, adapt to the region’s unique climate, and enjoy the rewarding experience of watching your garden come to life.

Gardens to Explore

New York and New Jersey offer a wealth of beautiful gardens that showcase the region’s diverse flora and horticultural artistry. Here are a few standout locations:

New Jersey Botanical Garden (Ringwood): This expansive garden within Ringwood State Park features a variety of themed gardens, including a lilac garden, perennial garden, and Italianate gardens. It’s a fantastic place for a leisurely stroll and to appreciate the changing seasons.

Greenwood Gardens (Short Hills): This historic 28-acre garden offers a serene escape with terraced gardens, woodlands, and charming architectural features. It’s known for its tranquil atmosphere and beautiful landscaping.

Van Vleck House & Gardens (Montclair): These gardens offer a delightful mix of formal and informal plantings, with a focus on native plants and trees. It’s a peaceful oasis in the heart of Montclair.

New York Botanical Garden (Bronx) AND Brooklyn Botanical Garden (Brooklyn): These world-renowned botanical gardens feature diverse plant collections, beautiful landscapes, and stunning conservatories. They are a must-visit for any garden enthusiast.

Wave Hill (Bronx): Overlooking the Hudson River, Wave Hill offers breathtaking views and beautifully manicured gardens. It’s known for its artful plantings and serene atmosphere.

Longwood Gardens (Pennsylvania): While not in NY or NJ, it is close enough to be a day trip for many residents of the area. This garden is truly spectacular, and is worth the trip.

Don’t Fool Yourself!

Suppression is a psychological mechanism that refers to the deliberate effort to consciously avoid or inhibit thoughts, feelings, or behaviors. It is a form of self-control that allows individuals to regulate their thoughts and emotions, so they can align with their goals, values, and social norms. From a psychological perspective, suppression is often seen as a coping strategy that can help individuals maintain mental balance, especially in the face of stressful or challenging circumstances.

The Impact of Psychological Suppression

Suppression has been the subject of much research and has been found to be an effective, but also a limited, form of self-control. While suppression makes it easier to navigate challenging situations, it can also have negative consequences, as it requires a significant amount of mental effort and can result in feelings of psychological distress, especially when used over an extended period. Research has shown that repeated suppression can result in emotional exhaustion, and that the energy required for suppression is taken from other cognitive resources, resulting in decreased performance on tasks that require attention and memory.

One study that investigated the impact of suppression on emotions, “The Cognitive Control of Emotion” by James J. Gross, published in the Annual Review of Psychology in 1998, analyzed the effects of emotion regulation strategies, including suppression, on emotional experience and physiological responses. The research found that suppressing emotions did not lead to the elimination of the emotional experience, but instead led to an increase in physiological arousal, which subsequently fostered an increase in psychological distress. Furthermore, suppression was associated with decreased cognitive control and increased negative feelings.

Developing Better Strategies

This highlights the importance of understanding the mechanisms behind emotion regulation, and the need to develop more adaptive strategies for managing emotions. This study and others like it have contributed to our understanding of the impact of suppression on emotions and have helped to inform the development of more effective emotion regulation techniques.

Suppression is also to be avoided when it comes to working on our middot and avodat Hashem. We must acknowledge the negative feelings we have and not suppress them. But acknowledging these negative feelings must be sincere.

 Lesson from Rav Wolbe

There’s a difference between what Rav Wolbe calls a “frum Kriat Shema,” which means just closing our eyes and thinking of all of the high and holy things, and saying Kriat Shema in a real and sincere way. Rav Wolbe discusses how easy it is to fool ourselves, to close our eyes and pray aloud with a lot of kavanah. To imagine walking in joy to die al kiddush Hashem, but having no idea what’s going on inside of ourselves.

Our job is to be sincere and serious and realize what’s going on inside of ourselves. Kabbalat ol Malchut Shamayim means that our ears won’t listen to devarim assurim, our mouths won’t speak devarim assurim or eat prohibited foods or do so l’shem taavah, and so on and so forth. In Rav Wolbe’s words, “If you really know yourself, you’re going to realize all these forces are not agreeing to kabbalat ol Malchut Shamayim.”

TAKEAWAY:

Look at yourself honestly and ask yourself: What am I REALLY willing to give up for the sake of Hashem?

Rabbi Yehuda Beyda

In the prophecies of Bil’am (Bamidbar 24; 20) it is written, “Amalek is the first of the nations, and his end will be everlasting oblivion.” The Torah describes Amalek as a nation that, at the end of days, will cease to exist. Even in the Days of Mashiah, when the entire world will be brought to its perfect state, Amalek will not exist. When every other nation in the world will be fulfilling its function assigned to it at the dawn of time, Amalek will best serve the world by leaving it. But why is this so? What is it about Amalek that precludes any hope of salvation? Why is this one nation the only one that cannot be brought to fulfill a higher purpose?

The answer is alluded to in the beginning of the above pasuk, that Amalek is “the first among the nations.” Though all the nations of the world opposed the existence of B’nei Yisrael at one point or another, Amalek was the first to do so, thereby earning everlasting destruction. Let us probe this idea further.

The Power of Cynicism

In the Torah, the attack of Amalek on the Jews in the desert is immediately followed by the words, “Vayishma Yitro – And Yitro heard.” What did Yitro hear? The Midrash Rabba says that he heard about the war of Amalek and Hashem’s decree in its aftermath, that He would erase all memory of Amalek from the world. The Midrash applies the pasuk (Mishlei 19; 25)that states that when a cynic is punished, the fool gains wisdom. Amalek and Yitro were both involved in Par’oh’s scheme to destroy us, but when Yitro heard of Hashem’s intent to destroy Amalek, he took the lesson to heart and repented. Though the cynic himself gets no benefit from being punished, he serves as a lesson for others to improve their behavior. Amalek here is labeled a cynic, who by definition allows all rebuke to roll off of him with no lasting impact. Yet, he can serve as a lesson for others. Where, though, does this label of cynic come from? How does Amalek’s behavior earn him the title of letz? Let us examine this.

The Gemara (Megilla 25b) tells us that all cynicism is prohibited, besides that which mocks idol worship. Certainly this applies to all mockery of evil, on any level. The reason that the Gemara chose to single out idol worship for this statement is that the essence of cynicism is to devalue that which others hold in high esteem. Rabbenu Yona explains the pasuk (Mishlei 27: 21) that states, “as a crucible is for silver and a furnace for gold, is a man according to his praise.” He says that this means that the essence of a man can be discerned by that which he praises. If one is constantly praising and admiring those who are far from the will of Hashem, then we can know for certain that he himself is far from Hashem, as well.

Though he may spend his days studying Torah and doing mitzvot, by seeing where he puts his admiration his true allegiance can be known. Conversely, we may find someone who does not study Torah as much as he should, and doesn’t expend much effort in doing mitzvot. Yet, when a talmid hacham enters the room, he shows honor and respect. His children hear the way he speaks with reverence about those who study Torah. His admiration and praise are reserved for those who are following in Hashem’s ways. This man is closer to Hashem than the other, who studies the Torah but has no respect for it. A man according to his praise.

The Natural Tendency to Put Down Others

Yet before the discernment is made about what one’s praise is for – a different question must be asked. Does he have the capacity for praise and admiration in the first place? In each of us lurks a powerful urge to devalue and bring down anything that others hold dear. We will seek out and find the “chink in the armor,” and expand that to totally destroy any admiration we may feel for someone or something worthy of such.

“That rabbi? People think he’s so great. I remember when he was a kid, we used to play basketball every Shabbat together!”  “You’re saying Tehillim with 40 people? Waste of time. All these are tricks and segulot.”

We have the tendency to try and knock anything that may lead us – or others – to a higher state of existence. This is the power of cynicism – leitzanut – which is anathema to all spiritual growth. Leitzanut has the power to negate even the most powerful and awe-inspiring display of Hashem’s presence. Indeed, Eliyahu Hanavi himself, when making his demonstration at Mount Carmel, gave a special prayer that no cynic should toss out a careless word and undo all his work. Cynicism is among the most destructive powers that exist, and those who practice it are excluded from the Presence of Hashem.

The Power of Praise and Elevation

So, before we can ask if we are praising and admiring those people or actions that deserve our praise, we must first ask ourselves – do we have the capacity to admire in the first place? Are we bringing ourselves and those around us to a higher plane of existence, or do we indulge in leitzanut to denigrate and devalue the Word of Hashem? Once that question can be satisfactorily answered, we may then examine the direction of our admiration and ensure that its targets are the proper ones.

This, then, is why Chazal chose the example of idol worship to illustrate the proper use of mockery. Idol worship is the extreme case where men built up and admired – to the point of worship and servitude – a false ideal. They used the power of elevation not for its intended purpose of increasing the honor of Hashem, but rather to promote falsehood and debauchery. This is the perfect illustration of what we must mock, and all other examples flow from this. This form of mockery is not the destructive leitzanut,but rather is a natural outgrowth of the power of elevation – of the proper type – by which we must negate all that which opposes the will of Hashem.

Amalek the Cynic

This returns us to the actions of Amalek. The simple test to determine whether we are on the path of elevation or of mockery is to examine how we react to being corrected or rebuked. If we cannot stand to be told that we have been doing wrong – that is the classic symptom of the letz. Only one who is actively seeking a higher existence can be rebuked effectively. When we can thank the one who points out an error in what we are doing, then we know that we are on the path of elevation.

Amalek, on the other hand, is the embodiment of that destructive power of leitzanut. Rashi (Devarim 25:18) tells us that Amalek “cooled down the boiling water” of the fear that gripped the nations when they attacked us so soon after we left Egypt. All the world had witnessed the might of Hashem and the strength of His love for us, and they were all in awe – and admiration – of Hashem and His nation. Amalek couldn’t stand that. They set out to prove that we were just like all the others. The Jews aren’t untouchable. We can be attacked, and though they were defeated Amalek made a real fight of it. They cooled the ardor. They found the chink to exploit.

Amalek embodies the essence of mockery and cynicism. And that is why they must be destroyed forever.

In a world that has returned to its intended mission, a world where every nation is serving its higher purpose, all will be on the path of elevation. The time of Mashiah will usher in a reality where every person and every nation will know their place, and how they are expected to increase the honor of Hashem. Even the bitterest enemies that we have known will be devoted to and praising Hashem. As we say each morning in Pesuke d’zimra – “Malchei eretz v’chol leumim…yehallelu et Shem Hashem. Kings of the land and all nations…will praise the name of Hashem.” That world has no place for a cynic. Amalek and his power can serve no purpose on the path of elevation, for theirs is one of mockery and denigration.

The only thing they can do is disappear. May we see it soon and in our days. Amen.Adapted from the Sefer Pachad Yitzchak, by Rabbi Yitzchak Hutner, zt”l, Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshivat Rabbeinu Chaim Berlin.