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Positive Parenting – Limits are a Form of Nurturing

Parenting is a delicate dance between offering warmth and guidance while also setting boundaries that help children grow into responsible, respectful individuals. It’s natural for parents to want to nurture their children – providing emotional support, love, and encouragement. But we must realize that setting limits IS a part of nurturing.

Imagine a farmer who is trying to grow the most beautiful garden. He plants, sows, plows, waters, and cares for his soil in a huge way. He also pulls weeds because he loves this garden. He does not spend most of his time pulling weeds because he invests the bulk of his energy into planting and growing this garden. When he does need to do some weed-pulling, he is not upset about it. Nor does he wonder what’s wrong and why he needs to do so. He simply understands that taking out the weeds is part of the process.

Children need boundaries. We can use this metaphor to grow beautiful children. Setting limits is a part of nurturing our children. It would be so harmful for a farmer to think he should leavethe weeds, and it would be so harmful for us to think that limit setting is mean. It’s loving, it’s kind, and children crave it. It is extremely important to say “no,” establish expectations, and enforce rules. Striking the understanding that healthy kind limits ARE loving is a cornerstone of effective parenting.

Why Are Limits So Important?

Nurturing without limits can lead to entitlement, a lack of discipline, and poor coping skills. On the other hand, enforcing rules without a healthy relationship can create fear, rebellion, and low self-esteem. Children thrive when they feel unconditionally loved while also understanding that their actions have consequences. Consider your child’s feelings, and set clear, consistent limits.

Why the Relationship Matters

Children need a secure attachment to their caregivers to feel safe in the world. This bond is formed through consistent nurturing: physical affection, listening attentively, validating emotions, and being present. These gestures teach children that they are valued and loved.

Nurturing also builds trust, which is crucial to setting limits. When children feel emotionally connected to their parents, they are more likely to respond positively to guidance and rules. They don’t see limits as punishments, but as part of a supportive framework that helps them learn and grow.

Create a Home with Loving Limits

Creating a home with loving limits is one of the most powerful gifts you can give your child. By creating an environment where love and structure go hand in hand, you help them feel secure, confident, and capable of facing life’s challenges. Parenting isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being present, setting thoughtful boundaries, and growing alongside your child every step of the way.

Strategies for Setting Loving Limits

Stay Calm and Consistent: Children test limits – that’s part of their development. The key is to respond calmly and consistently. When we lose our temper or waver on rules, it sends mixed messages. Consistency builds trust and helps children internalize expectations.

Use Empathy with Discipline: Acknowledge your child’s feelings, even when enforcing a rule. For instance, “I know you’re upset that we can’t stay at the park longer. It’s hard to leave when you’re having fun, but it’s time to go.” This shows you understand their emotions while still holding the boundary.

Offer Choices Within Limits: Give children a sense of control by offering choices that respect the boundaries you’ve set. For example, “You can either brush your teeth now or in five minutes – your choice.” This empowers them while reinforcing the expectation.

Be Present and Engaged: Quality time builds your connection with your child, making them more receptive to your guidance. Listen without judgment, play together, and show interest in their world.

Model the Behavior You Want to See: Children learn by example. Show them how to handle frustration, speak respectfully, and solve problems with patience and empathy.

Ask Jido – June 2025

Dear Jido,

As the school year winds down, my husband and I are starting to worry about two important things: maintaining our kids’ academic momentum and keeping their spiritual connection alive during the summer break. We want to ensure they stay intellectually engaged, but without the structure of schoolwork weighing them down. How can we make learning feel like fun?

Additionally, we’re looking for creative ways to keep their spiritual motivation strong, especially in a way that reflects our community’s customs and values. Are there specific practices or activities that can help them stay connected, both mentally and spiritually, while also making it easier for us as parents to keep them on track?

We’d love your advice on how to strike the right balance of learning, fun, and faith this summer!

Signed,

Stressed about Summer

Dear Stressed,

Kudos on your question. 

Unstress.  Gd bless our Community that they offer so many ways to keep our children connected and happy during the summer months.

Whether you are in Deal or Brooklyn for the summer, there are several day camps that offer limited learning in the mornings and fun in the afternoons. Certainly, for the older children, there are also morning prayer services. (I would give you the names of a few, but I would lose my license).  Check them out, I’m sure you’ll find a few that satisfy.

More than that, there are two other things that can be done.  (1)  You and your husband become the morah and rebbi.  There is a fabulous website from Torah U’Mesorah called chinuch.org.  That’s where almost all of our yeshiva teachers get they’re posters, coloring pages, and lessons from.  It’s free for the searching.  Pick out a few each week, print them out and let the kids enjoy. Review the parasha pages with them on Shabbat.

Speaking of Shabbat – it has to be fun!  (2) Get together with families for lunch, spend afternoons together, sing songs, make sure there’s plenty of summer desserts (ices, parve ice cream, watermelon). Most of our shuls have special father/son minyanim. Take advantage of them.

Most of all – love, love , love.  Hug them, kiss them, and take them on Sunday trips. It’s something they will treasure forever – even if they get the wrong answer on a parasha question!

Enjoy! Jido

A New Softball Era Under the Lights

Sam Sutton

The 2025 M&S Softball season has arrived – and it’s louder, deeper, and more competitive than ever. With over 50 names on the waiting list, one thing’s crystal clear: if you’ve got a spot this year, you earned it.

This offseason wasn’t just about stretching hammies and oiling gloves. It marked a cultural reset. A new energy. A different intensity. Every captain came locked in, and the draft room felt more like a war room. No picks were wasted. No names taken lightly. And as the rosters took shape, so did the storylines.

Let’s break down the squads that’ll write the next chapter of M&S:

King Salomon Part Deux
Captain: Michael Sabon Salomon
Sabon set the tone for the entire draft by pulling off a pre-draft trade to acquire the #8 overall pick – giving him the coveted 1-and-8 combo. He used his top selection on Zack Ashkenazi, widely considered the best all-around player on the board. At #8, he snagged Yitz Sutton, the top arm in the draft – giving his team a bona fide ace from Day One.

From there, Sabon stacked the deck with playoff experience and big-game DNA. He reunited the veteran duo Teddy Ishak (TI) and Sammy Esses, a pairing with years of chemistry and hardware. He brought back Morris “Mo” Shamah, one of the league’s most dependable bats, and added Eric Cytryn, a respected defensive anchor and proven playoff performer.

Vandelay Industries
Captain: Sammy Seruya
Rookie captain – rising star. That’s the book on Sammy Seruya, the slick shortstop with who hit superstar status. But Seruya wasn’t shy on draft night – he took a big swing on unproven slugger Howie Hoffman, betting on upside and power. And he’ll be riding with rookie pitcher Abraham Benhamu to anchor his defense and set the tone on the mound.

Backed by key pieces like Sauly Esses, Jimmy Malakh, Bernie Pindek, and Yossi Abramson, Vandelay is an intriguing mix of high potential and proven leadership. It’s a team that could click fast – or grow into a monster by playoff time.

Texas Longhorns
Captain: Max Yedid
A familiar face is back in the saddle – Max Yedid, former M&S Cy Young winner and championship pitcher, makes his return to the captain’s chair. He drafted a veteran-heavy roster built to win. Names like Allie Marshall, Butchie Cohen, and Maurice Haber headline a squad that’s been there, done that, and knows how to get it done when it counts. Max is back – and so is the fear factor that comes with playing against his team.

Sephardic Bananas
Captain: Edmund “The Phenom” Beyda
The reigning World Series champ is back and looking to repeat. Last year, Edmund “The Phenom” Beyda captained a magical playoff run, and this year, he ran it back with a nearly identical core. His draft centerpiece? None other than his clutch companion David “Buca” Cohen. With names like Isaac Sasson, Jack Sutton, and Alan Jemal rounding out the roster, the Bananas have chemistry, confidence, and championship DNA.

Kaboom!
Captain: Uri Adler
Let’s just say… Uri changed it up this year – and it might be his best build yet. Gone is the typical Uri mold. In its place is a sleek, powerful new roster led by Sol Fallas, Nadav Auerbach, and Abraham Saka. On paper, Kaboom has speed, power, arms, and attitude. It’s a no-nonsense team that could light up the scoreboard or lock down your offense. If the vibes hold, this group is a serious title threat.

Thundering Hooves
Captain: Gabriel Abadi
Gabe Abadi did what Gabe does – drafted a crew full of high-character, high-talent, high-vibe guys. With Mark Barsano, Carlos Abadi, and Ricky Rothstein in the mix, Thundering Hooves are built for deep playoff runs. Gabe’s squads always play loose, play hard, and play for each other. He’s still searching for that elusive first title – but don’t be surprised if this is the team that finally delivers it.Stayin’ Alive
Captain: Michael Melech Solomon

He’s back. A former fan-favorite captain, Melech Solomon returns with a roster full of loyalty and edge. He went straight to the well early, drafting his longtime guys – Steven Gindi (SJG), Joe Sefaradi (Joe S), and Saul “Soco” Cohen. But what makes this team fascinating is the youth infusion. Melech rolled the dice on wild-card youngsters like Sol Assis, one of the most polarizing players in the league. High ceiling, high volatility – and if they click, Stayin’ Alive might stay alive deep into the postseason.

Yeshivas in Crisis: Can They Meet NY’s Education Mandate?

DAVE GORDON

Yeshiva Bnei Shimon Yisrael and Talmud Torah of Kasho, both in Williamsburg, were informed by the New York State Education Department on February 11th (after allegedly ignoring final warnings issued in December)that the institutions did not meet state mandated curricula requirements. Therefore, they were slated to lose state subsidies for meals, transportation, textbooks, and other services.

The yeshivot were sent letters in both English and Yiddish from the Education Department stating  that in addition to the lost funding, that parents were to enroll their children in other schools by July 1, as reported by Ynet and the New York Post.

“The yeshiva system provides a rigorous education, no less demanding than public schools,” community leaders responded in a statement.

The Education Department’s letter also stated that they reached out several times to the yeshivot and determined that each of the institutions were “no longer deemed a school, which provides compulsory education fulfilling the requirements of Article 65 of the Education Law.”

The following May, four other unnamed yeshivot were also facing the same situation, according to The Jewish Press.

These yeshivot were given a June 30 deadline, by which time they were required to show that they were offering curricula that was “substantially equivalent” to public schools, as required by state regulations adopted three years ago.

This marks the first time the New York State Education Department has taken such extreme action, ordering parents to find alternative educational arrangements for their children for the upcoming academic year.

According to the New York Post, that meant choosing a different religious school that meets legal requirements, homeschooling, or a public school.

Educational Standards

This past February, Ynet News reported that the issue initially arose as a result of a 2022 New York Times investigation, that claimed at least 18 publicly funded yeshivot failed to meet state educational standards.

Despite the controversy, Mayor Eric Adams said in response to the report, “Yeshivas provide a high-quality education that nurtures our children, and other schools should learn from them.”

Jewish News Syndicate (JNS) asked educational expert Moshe Krakowskito weigh in. He responded that these yeshivot were not falling short on the state’s expectations.

Krakowski is a professor at Yeshiva University’s Azrieli Graduate School of Jewish Education and Administration and is the Director of Doctoral Studies at Azrieli. He studies American haredi education and culture.

“There are many Chassidic schools that offer the basics of reading, writing, arithmetic, social studies, and civics through at least the seventh through eighth-grade level,” Krakowski told JNS, adding that they “spend most of their day in incredibly rigorous, high-level religious study – and it’s not like these kids are left truant.”

Politicians Get Involved

In an attempt to placate both sides, two local Jewish politicians have since become involved in the issue–City Councilman Simcha Felder and Assemblyman Simcha Eichenstein (District 48).

Their efforts appeared to have initiated an anonymously sponsored Assembly draft bill on March 11th, determined to revise the standards that religious schools must meet. As of press time, the draft bill has entered in the final stages of budget negotiations. Reportedly, it was tucked into a budget bill to ostensibly bypass the legislative process.

Simcha Felder issued a statement to Community Magazine saying that he was “pleased that the New York State budget includes a seven-year pause on the implementation of the State’s overreaching regulation of our nonpublic schools, including yeshivot.” He added that he remains “hopeful that the State’s willingness to reverse this policy permanently will continue to grow over time.”

Felder represented the 44th district on the New York City Council from 2002 to 2010, represented the 17th district in the New York State Senate from January 2013 to December 2022, and represented the 22nd district from January 2023 to April 2025. He won a special election for New York City Council in the 44th District in March.

Felder said that while he served in Senate, he “consistently made the case that New York’s diverse educational needs are not one-size-fits-all and that results, not timekeeping, are the only way to judge educational quality.” 

He added that Senate Majority Leader Andrea Stewart-Cousins and Deputy Majority Leader Michael Gianaris paid close attention to the community’s concerns and “recognized the vital role these institutions play in providing quality education for our children.”

Advocacy Group and Four Brooklyn Yeshivot Take a Stand

Following the state’s letter to the yeshivas, the advocacy group Parents for Educational and Religious Liberty in Schools (PEARLS) filed a federal discrimination complaint, alleging that New York’s actions interfere with the autonomy of yeshivot and constitute discriminatory practices. PEARLS is comprised of families of students. educators, religious leaders, and community members mostly from Borough Park, Crown Heights, and Williamsburg. The U.S. Department of Education’s civil rights office has not yet announced an investigation into these complaints, and no official statement from the administration has addressed the specific case of yeshiva funding cuts.

In January, the Times of Israel reported that four yeshivot in Brooklyn, Bobover Yeshiva Bnei Zion, Oholei Torah, United Talmudical Academy, and Yeshiva & Mesivta Arugas Habosem,filed a complaint with the US Department of Education alleging “targeted and discriminatory treatment,” by New York State. “Only the federal government can ensure that the yeshivas can pursue their missions free from interference,” the yeshivot stated. The yeshivot believed their Jewish studies curriculum were not accepted by New York authorities, and in doing so violated federal Title VI civil protection, that gave parents the right to choose their child’s education.

Dov Hikind Weighs In

Meanwhile, Dov Hikind, former New York State assemblyman, took a nuanced approach to state expectations and how the yeshivot could handle future similar issues.

He said he “knows all of the players, the yeshivas of Brooklyn, the main leaders” as he was a Brooklyn-based New York State assemblyman from 1983 to 2018.

“I think while things have improved over the years, we still have a way to go,” he said. He believes there is, however, common ground to be found.

“I think everything in the world should be done to work things out in a reasonable way where funds are not withheld, and there are some serious improvements in certain areas, period,” Hikind told Community Magazine.

Hikind attributes the slow pace of change in part to educators growing accustomed to the status quo.

Common ground is “actually the answer” he said. “I don’t think the state is so dug in… I think there needs to be movement on both sides.”

Hikind concedes that there may be a possibility that there are bad actors in the political system that have a chip on their shoulder, and have ideological reasons for opposing the yeshivot.

“Are there are people in the state who have motivations that are not kosher that want to sort of stick it to some of these schools? I wouldn’t be shocked by that, but I would say that overall, I think the goal is that there are rules, and those are good things.”

He has only warm words for the Jewish religious institutions, moreover, that he said are doing well in developing young minds.

“I love all these yeshivas. They’re great… [the students are] getting educated in very many ways,” said Hikind.

Gizmos Galore: Must-Have Gadgets for Summer 2025

As the temperatures rise, so does the excitement for innovative tech designed to enhance your summer experience. From smart pool monitors to robotic dogs, this year’s lineup promises to bring fun, convenience, and safety to your summer adventures. Dive into our selection of the hottest gadgets that can transform your summer into a season of unforgettable moments.

Petoi Bittle Robot
The Petoi Bittle robot is a palm-sized robot dog developed for fun but also serves as a STEM gadget. It walks, plays tricks, and rolls around just like a real dog, maneuvering on all kinds of terrains. You can teach it new skills and use it for STEM education, making it ideal for learning and research projects.

Lifebuoy Pool Motion Sensor & Alarm System
There’s no such thing as having too many safeguards in place to protect your little ones when you own a pool. The Lifebuoy Pool Motion Sensor & Alarm System alerts you if someone or something falls into your pool. Since it floats, there’s no need to drill holes in your deck or pool to secure it, and it’s portable for vacations.

Fitrus Plus 3.0
A single fingertip scan reveals seven vital health metrics that typically require multiple medical devices. It measures body fat, heart rate, oxygen levels, temperature, muscle mass, BMI, and metabolic rate. With a single charge lasting up to 20 days, health-conscious users can detect potential issues weeks before they would normally warrant a doctor’s visit.

Ordro M5
Three-axis stabilization transforms jerky amateur footage into smooth, professional-quality video with minimal effort. A 120-degree ultra-wide lens captures more of the scene while AI tracking keeps subjects in focus. The 3.5-inch touchscreen makes control simple, making the Ordro M5 a great candidate for road trip adventures.

Quick Press
Creating professional custom t-shirts typically takes hours, but the Quick Press does it in 15 seconds flat. With a 15-second transfer time, you’ll produce professional designs on shirts, totes, and other materials in minutes, making it perfect for quick and creative projects.

Lefeet P1 Underwater Scooter
Explore coral reefs twice as long with this 5-pound underwater scooter that extends your diving range exponentially. Its modular design mounts to legs, tanks, or surfboards for versatile use, transforming mobility underwater for both beginners and experienced divers.

Tornado Cargo Ebike
Capable of hauling 400 pounds at 25 mph, this cargo e-bike replaces short-distance delivery vehicles entirely. It comes with lights, turn signals, and reliable brakes. Adjustable seating and suspension ensure comfort even when fully loaded, making it ideal for urban deliveries.

X1 Auto Bed Vacuum
Dust mites multiply by millions in mattresses. This UVC-equipped vacuum eliminates what regular cleaning misses. Pet owners and allergy sufferers notice improved sleep quality after regular use, as it reaches deep where allergens hide, significantly reducing morning symptoms.

Govee Hexagonal Light Panels
If you’re looking for innovative lights to make your room more engaging, look no further than these Govee Hexagonal light panels. The LED light kit offers a unique way to create functional decorations, adding a smart touch to any space.SUTRO Smart Floating Pool Water Monitor
Do you feel like a mad scientist trying to measure the chemical levels in your pool? Eliminate the stress and guesswork with the SUTRO Smart Floating Pool Water Monitor. This monitor automatically tests your water three times a day and alerts you when you need to add chemicals, keeping your pool water clean, safe, and beautiful. It even works with saltwater pools.

Medications on Shabbat – Part 2

Rabbi Yehuda Finchas

“Rabbi,” Ikey said, scratching his head, “I’m confused about taking medication on Shabbat. I’ve heard it’s prohibited due to the concern of grinding herbs, but we don’t do that anymore – we buy medicine from the pharmacy. Different people give me different answers. Can you clarify this halacha?”

The Prohibition on Taking Medication on Shabbat

As previously explained, halacha prohibits taking medication on Shabbat by rabbinic decree unless one is bedridden (a choleh she’ein bo sakana). Someone experiencing a maichush be’alma – a minor ailment causing mild discomfort – is typically not permitted to take medication (Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim 328:1). This rabbinic prohibition, known as gezerat shehikat samemanim, originated from the concern that people might grind herbs to prepare medicines, which would violate anissur d’Oraita (biblical prohibition).

Medication Compared to Other Forms of Healing on Shabbat

It’s important to distinguish taking medication from other permitted forms of healing on Shabbat for a choleh she’ein bo sakana. While such an individual may engage in healing activities, even overriding a rabbinic law (derabanan), this is required to be done in an unusual manner (shinui, ibid. 17). However, this requirement of shinui does not apply to the act of taking oral medications (Halichot Olam 4:164, Ohr Lezion 3:36:9).

The Relevance of Gezerat Shehikat Samemanim Today

A common question, as raised by Ikey, is whether gezerat shehikat samemanim still applies since we no longer grind herbs for medicine, as instead we purchase manufactured medications. The halachic principle is that rabbinic decrees remain in effect even if the original reason for their enactment no longer exists. As the Gemara (Beitzah 5a) explains that once the Hachamim issue a decree, only Hachamim of equivalent greatness can overturn it. Therefore, the prohibition on taking medication for minor ailments on Shabbat generally remains, despite the changes in how medicine is produced.

The Opinion of Hacham Ovadia Yosef, ZT”L

However, Hacham Ovadia Yosef, zt”l, (Chazon Ovadia, Shabbat Vol. 3 p. 358), offers a nuanced perspective. He notes that some halachic authorities consider gezerat shehikat samemanim to be a gezeira (a safeguard or preventative decree) rather than a takana (a formal, established rabbinic enactment). Unlike a takana, which is generally irreversible, it might be argued that a gezeira may no longer be binding once the original concern it addressed is absent. Following this logic, since we now obtain pre-prepared medications, the concern of grinding herbs is no longer relevant, and the safeguard is no longer necessary. While Hacham Ovadia himself disagrees with this view and maintains the general prohibition for minor ailments, he permits relying on this more lenient opinion in specific circumstances.

Examples: Sleeping Pills and Pain Relief

Hacham Ovadia provides examples where leniency is warranted. Regarding sleeping pills (ibid., p. 367), he argues that they do not cure an illness but primarily facilitate sleep. Since promoting sleep is not considered a typical medical therapy (refua) and considering the opinion that gezerat shehikat samemanim no longer directly applies, he permits taking sleeping pills on Shabbat.

Similarly, concerning over-the-counter pain relief, Hacham Yitzhak Yosef (Yalkut Yosef, Shabbat Vol. 4, p. 143) explains that alleviating symptoms like pain or a mild fever is not considered classic refua aimed at a cure. Therefore, such medications are permissible even for a mild ailment. However, Hacham Ovadia (ibid., p. 366) specifically limits this allowance to individuals experiencing pain, even when they are not bedridden.

Conclusion

To answer Ikey’s question: Taking medication to cure an illness is generally prohibited on Shabbat by rabbinic gezira for someone with a minor ailment. However, it is permitted for a choleh she’ein bo sakana. While the underlying concern of gezerat shehikat samemanim (grinding herbs) might seem outdated, the prohibition remains in effect.

Nevertheless, Hacham Ovadia Yosef offers a more lenient approach in specific situations where the medication does not aim to cure but rather to relieve pain or promote sleep, especially when considering the view that the original reason for the gezeira is no longer relevant.

Hacham Ovadia acknowledges the differing opinions on this matter. Given that it concerns health, he advises against excessive stringency as the verse states, “Venishmarten meod lenafshotechem” (Devarim 4:15) – “And you shall guard your souls very carefully” (Hazon Ovadia, p. 357).Rabbi Yehuda Finchas is a worldwide expert, lecturer and author on Medical Halacha. He heads the Torat Habayit Medical Halacha Institute. His latest book is “Brain Death in Halacha and the Tower of Babel Syndrome.” To contact Rabbi Finchas, email rabbi@torathabayit.com.

Words of Rabbi Eli J. Mansour – The Rest of the Story…

When Korach, Moshe’s first cousin, launched his brazen revolt against Moshe’s authority, challenging his and his brother’s right to leadership, he brought some “big names” with him.  Like a good politician seeking to earn public support, he made a point of getting some prominent people on board.  These included 250 “princes of the congregation” (“nesi’eh edah” – 16:2), identified by our sages as the leading Torah scholars of that generation.  Korach also brought onto his team Datan and Aviram, two well-known “rabble rousers” who already had a long history – dating back to Egypt – of challenging Moshe.

These people had different stakes in the game.  Korach, the commentators explain, resented the appointment of another of his cousins – Elitzafan –to the position of leader of the Kehat family, a position which Korach felt he deserved.  The 250 rabbis were motivated by genuine spiritual longing, passionately wishing to have the privilege to serve as kohen gadol inside the Mishkan.  And Datan and Aviram, as mentioned, were always looking for opportunities to oppose Moshe.  What these people all had in common was discontent with Moshe’s leadership, and so they banded together to challenge his authority.

On Ben Pelet

In the opening verses of the story of Korach, the Torah also mentions another figure who appears to have played an important role– a member of the tribe of Reuven named On ben Pelet.  We are given no information about him, but if he is mentioned by name, it stands to reason that his participation in the uprising was significant.

This implied significance makes it especially striking that his name never appears again later in the story.On ben Pelet is listed among the main instigators, but we never hear about him again.

The Gemara (Sanhedrin 110a), noting On’s mysterious “disappearance,” fills in the missing details, telling the fascinating story of how this prominent participant in Korach’s uprising was saved from the tragic fate that befell his cohorts.On’s wifewas an exceptionally wise woman, and she saw what On could not see due to his having been blinded by Korach’s charm, and by the excitement of the controversy.  She asked On what he stood to gain by joining Korach’s revolt.  After all, if the uprising succeeded, then Korach would be the leader instead of Moshe.  On would not benefit at all.  There was no advantage to his supporting Korach.

On accepted his wife’s advice, but he said it was too late.  He had already sworn loyalty to Korach’s cause, and the rebels were relying on his participation.  He could not back out at this point.

On’s wife devised a plan.  She gave him lots of wine to drink, and he fell into a deep sleep.  When Korach’s men came to bring On to join in their confrontation against Moshe, she removed her hair covering and stood outside their tent.  Korach’s men would not approach the tent, as she was standing there with her hair exposed, and so they turned around.  On remained asleep during the ill-fated confrontation between Korach’s followers and Moshe, which resulted in the burning of the 250 men who vied for the role of kohen gadol, and in the ground opening and devouring Korach, Datan and Aviram.

Manoah

Let us leave the story of Korach, and fast forward many years, to the period of the shoftim, to a time when Beneh Yisrael suffered bitterly at the hands of the Pelishtim who were terrorizing them.

We read in the Book of Shoftim (13) – in the section read as the haftarah for Parashat Naso – of a man named Manoah who was childless for many years.  One day, an angel appeared to Manoah’s wife and informed her that she would soon bear a child who would lead Beneh Yisrael to victory against the Pelishtim.  As this child would be designated for a special leadership role, the angel explained, he would need to abide by certain restrictions.  His hair must never be cut, and he must never drink wine.

Manoah’s wifewent to her husband and told her about the angel.  Seemingly mistrusting her, Manoach beseeched Gd to send the angel a second time to explain the rules regarding the child that was going to be born.  Sure enough, the angel appeared to Manoah’s wife a second time, and she ran to bring Manoah.  When he arrived, the angel told him that he must follow the guidelines that his wife had been told. 

Later, Manoah’s wife delivered a boy, whom they named Shimshon.  As the angel promised, Shimshon led Beneh Yisrael in the campaign against the Pelishtim.

At this point, I expect the reader to wonder why this story is presented here in this article, in the context of the story of On ben Pelet.  It certainly appears that these two men have absolutely nothing to do with one another.

However, one of the great Italian kabbalists, Rav Menahem Azaryah of Fano (“the Rama Mi’Fano,” 1548-1620), taught that these stories are very closely connected.  In fact, although one took place many years after the other, they actually involve the same people!

The Rama Mi’Fano writes that Manoach and his wife were gilgulim – reincarnations – of On ben Pelet and his wife.  In both stories, the wife takes the leadership role, guiding and instructing her husband.  In the case of On ben Pelet, this is obvious, but in the sort of Manoah, too, his wife was the one who received the instructions from the angel, and, moreover, the verse states that when the angel returned, “vayelech Manoah ahareh ishto – Manoah followed his wife.”  It is clear from the story that Moah was led by his wife, just as On ben Pelet’s wife steered him in the direction he needed to go.

The Rama Mi’Pano adds that Shimshon, Manoah’s son, was to abstain from wine – which is what On ben Pelet’s wife used to save him.  And the name “Manoah” means “rest,” an allusion to On’s deep slumber during his cohorts’ confrontation with Moshe.

The question, then, becomes, what is the meaning and significance of this connection?  What are we to learn from the reincarnation of On ben Pelet and his wife, and their becoming the parents of Shimshon?

The Long Haul

The answer becomes clear in light of a mysterious feature of the story of Manoah.

We find in Tanach several stories of women who were unable to conceive.  We are all familiar with the stories of Sarah, Rivkah, Rachel, and Hannah.  Another example is the “Shunamite woman” who cared for the prophet Elisha.  In all these instances, the couple prayed for children, or had some merit on account of which they were blessed with a child.  The notable exception is Manoah and his wife.  The text gives us no indication of what they did to be blessed with a child after many years of infertility.  We do not hear about them praying or performing any special mitzvah for which they were rewarded.

The Rama Mi’Fano’s theory solves this mystery.  Manoah and his wife were blessed in the merit of On ben Pelet’s wife.  Her wisdom and her initiative saved her husband’s life, and, moreover, helped preserve the honor of Moshe Rabbenu by taking away a prominent participant of the uprising.  The reward came many years later, in the form of Shimshon.  On ben Pelet’s wife saved her husband – and so she was blessed with a child who would end up saving Beneh Yisrael from the Pelishtim.

These might seem like esoteric concepts which bear no direct relevance to us, but I would like to draw our attention to one practical lesson that we all need to learn, and that is the long-term impact of our actions.  The full reward for On’s wife came much later, well after she passed away – teaching us that the fruits of our efforts are not reaped right away, but in the future, and sometimes even in the very distant future.

Spiritual Patience is Needed

Technology has accustomed us to expect immediate results, to access information at the press of a button, to have food ready and prepared the moment we feel hungry, to experience gratification right away when we want something.  We have, I’m afraid, grown impatient, demanding “on-demand” results.

But religious life doesn’t work this way.  Torah commitment is not about immediate results or immediate gratification.  Learning Torah can be difficult and challenging, and often it is only after years of hard work that we experience the indescribable joy and satisfaction that Torah knowledge brings.People who embrace observance as adults, or who decide to raise their level of observance as adults, are likely to struggle at first before enjoying the delights of religious life.  And, we never know when and in what form the rewards for our mitzvot will come.  If we pray, learn Torah and fulfill mitzvot with the expectation of right away seeing our rewards, we will be sorely disappointed, and disillusioned.  We must be in it for the long haul.

Every prayer has value and helps us.  Every good deed we perform yields incalculable rewards.  Every small amount of Torah we learn builds us and brings us closer to Hashem.  More often than not, we will not see the value, rewards and benefits of our prayer, learning and observance, but we believe that at some point – perhaps even long after we leave this world – our efforts will bear fruit.

The Mishnah in Pirkeh Avot (1:3) urges us not to be like servants who serve their master solely for reward, and to instead serve Hashem without expecting reward.  This is not because we cannot expect rewards for our efforts – but because we never know when or how we will be rewarded.

Let us, then, commit to perform mitzvot with joy and vigor – trusting that each and every good deed is more valuable than we can ever imagine.

Brooklyn’s Backyard Boom

Karen Behfar

As summer arrives in Brooklyn, families across the borough are pushing open their patio doors, pulling out folding tables, and soaking up the long-awaited sunshine. But this year, more than ever, there’s a noticeable shift in the local real estate market: outdoor space is no longer a luxury, it has become a top priority for many families looking to buy or rent in Brooklyn.

While the appeal of a backyard or balcony is hardly new, the past few years have transformed how much value buyers and renters place on access to fresh air, private outdoor areas, and versatile space for entertaining, celebrating, and simply enjoying family time.

Outdoor space also becomes an extension of spiritual life during the holidays. Sukkot, in particular, has driven demand for homes with yards, balconies, or even small courtyards. Having the ability to build a sukkah without relying on public space or complicated logistics can be a deciding factor when choosing a home.

Outdoor space also offers a needed sanctuary from the pace of city life. A quiet bench in a garden, a small play space for toddlers, or a place to sip coffee in the morning becomes a daily reprieve, and offers a moment to reconnect with nature and oneself.

Brooklyn Neighborhoods Seeing the Shift

Not all outdoor space is created equal, and not all Brooklyn neighborhoods offer it in abundance. Areas like Marine Park, Midwood, and Kensington – known for their single-family and semi-attached homes – are seeing an uptick in demand from families specifically seeking homes with backyards or front porches.

Outdoor space is no longer a “nice to have.” It’s a deal-breaker for many buyers. Families are asking, “Can I host here? Can my kids play here? Can we build a sukkah here?” These questions are shaping their entire search process.

Designing for Community

Outdoor spaces often serve multiple roles: dining room, playroom, holiday venue, and garden. Homeowners are investing more in these areas, turning small yards into urban oases with seating areas, fire pits, or container gardens.

“When we renovated, the first thing we did was figure out how to make the backyard work for our lifestyle,” says Eli, who recently bought a home in Marine Park. “We added outdoor lighting, a built-in bench, and even a storage shed for our sukkah panels. It’s the best part of our home.”

Even for those without private space, community buildings and co-ops are starting to respond to the trend. Shared patios or rooftop areas are being upgraded to allow for safer, more comfortable gatherings, something families with a culture of hospitality and celebration deeply appreciate.

Expanding the Possibilities

In a city where every square foot counts, the desire for outdoor space isn’t just about escaping the indoors. It’s about expanding the possibilities of family living. From impromptu basketball games after school to more formal occasions, backyards are becoming central to how families celebrate, connect, and create lasting memories. And in Brooklyn, that shift is changing the landscape – one porch, patio, and patch of grass at a time.

Tips for Buyers and Renters Prioritizing Outdoor Space

If you’re in the market this summer, here are a few things to keep in mind:

Measure with Purpose: If a sukkah is important to you, make sure the space can comfortably accommodate one.

Look for Access: A yard is most useful when it’s easily accessed from the kitchen or main living area.

Think Beyond Grass: Decks, patios, or even paved driveways can all be transformed into beautiful gathering spaces.

Privacy Matters: Fencing or greenery can create a peaceful, more personal environment, especially in tight-knit neighborhoods.

Mabrouk – June 2025

Births – Baby Boy

Solomon & Devora Sultan

Raymond & Leslie Zakaria

Joseph& Karen Terzi

Albert & Danielle Franco

Buddy & Lauren Setton

Jake & Tina Shalom

Ariel & Deborah Sassoon

Rabbi Morris & Chelli Safdie

Walter & Robin Rahmey

JoJo & Jeanne Seruya

Births – Baby Girl

Mark & Sherry Sabbagh

Rabbi Joey & Rebecca Sultan

Nathan & Rosie Bibi

Alex & Roberta Dweck

Elliot & Joyce Shamah

Jack & Carolyn Braha

Marc & Trina Betesh

Michael & Sarah Jemal

Gabriel & Jasmin Abadi

Joey & Diane Savdie

Engagements

Mikael Sadacka to Linda Gammal

Maurice Esses to Isabelle Chehova

Shachar Binyamin to Bella Douek

Joey Greenstein to Molly Zafarani

Maurice Tawil to Samantha Shamah

Michael Dayan to Esther Jacobowitz

Danny Srour to Ronni Kassin

Weddings

Marcus Abisror to Nechama Barkin

From the Files of the Bet Din

The Case

On the Sneak

Bobby, Jacob, and Al were equal partners in a residential property that they purchased and renovated. Each of the three managed a different role in the partnership, which included construction work, decorating, and financing. The first serious buyer offered 2.4 million dollars for the property, enabling a distribution of 800 thousand dollars to each owner. Al rejected the offer and told the buyer that he was unwilling to sell for less than 2.7 million. However, the buyer discovered that Bobby and Jacob were ready to close at 2.4 million. Realizing that Al was the one holding back the sale, the buyer approached Al and secretly offered him 100 thousand dollars cash if he goes to contract for 2.4 million. Al agreed after making a simple calculation that the 100 thousand would bring his total to 900 thousand, the amount he was holding out for. As planned, the property sold for 2.4 million dollars, which was divided by the three partners, and Alan secretly received an additional 100 thousand dollars in cash from the buyer. Eventually, Bobby and Jacob became aware of the additional payment when reading an email sent by the buyer alluding to transfer of the cash. In Bet Din Bobby and Jacob originally requested to reverse the entire sale but afterwards claimed monetary compensation for their loss. Al defended that they readily all agreed to sell for 2.4 million, and the extra 100 thousand he received was independent of the selling price. Are Bobby and Jacob entitled to compensation?How should the Bet Din rule and why?

Torah Law

According to the ruling of the Shulhan Aruch, one who collects payment for a property he jointly owns with others, is viewed as a representative acting on behalf of his partners. Hence, it stands to reason that if one for whatever reason collects extra funds for a jointly owned property, he is required to split the additional proceeds with his partners.

Additionally, according to the ruling of the Shulhan Aruch, it is illegal to withhold proceeds collected from another’s principal loss. This ruling is deduced from a classic case recorded by our sages of the Mishna. By rule of the Mishna, a borrower of a cow is liable to pay its owner in case of death caused by accidental mishap.  The borrower is required to pay the owner directly even if he did not borrow the cow from the owner, but rather from a third party who was temporarily renting the cow. Although a renter is not liable for the cow’s death in the event of an accidental mishap, he may not plead exemption to the cow’s owner in order to collect from the borrower. Although the renter extended to the borrower his usage rights of the cow, the renter is not the cow’s owner and is not entitled to collect payment for its loss. The borrower is instructed by law to pay the cow’s owner directly since the owner is the party that sustained a loss of his principal.

Therefore, in the instance in which a joint property is sold, all the proceeds paid for the property are viewed as compensation for its principal value. Hence, one of the partners is not entitled to withhold any of the funds paid for the property and is required to distribute the proceeds equally.

Obviously, when substantial sums of money are transferred from one party to the next, a logical explanation for such generosity is in order. Additionally, even in the event of the transfer of much smaller sums, nevertheless, when the recipient conceals such a transfer from his partners it is an indication of fraudulent activity. People have tendencies to justify unacceptable behavior when a financial gain is concerned. One who conceals information from his partners knowing that if the information is revealed it would clearly raise an objection is dishonest.

It is beyond the shadow of a doubt that when a buyer secretly pays an additional $100,000 to one of the owners of a joint owned property for its purchase, the payment is for the property’s inherent value. Thus, the funds are to be distributed between the partners. As mentioned, even if the sum collected is minimal, a partner is viewed as a representative of the group of owners and the money is to be distributed equally.

VERDICT:  An Order for Distribution

Our Bet Din ordered Al to distribute the $100,000 he received equally between his partners. As mentioned in Torah law, Al is viewed as a representative of Bobby and Jacob when he collected the additional payment from the buyer. As a general rule, one who collects payment for a property he owns jointly, is acting on behalf of the partnership. Unless specific terms in the partners operating agreement dictate otherwise, all monies received are to be distributed equally. Additionally, it is obvious that the extra $100,000 that was paid by the buyer was for the purchase of the property and was not given to Al as a generous gift. The money was paid because of the inherent value of the property. Thus, Al has no right to withhold the principal value of the property from his partners. Before Al paid $33,000 to both Bobby and Jacob, our Bet Din chastised him for his dishonest and unacceptable behavior.

In Loving Memory of Vera Bat Carol, A”H

YOU BE THE JUDGE

A Timely Collection?

Jack extended a loan of $10,000 to his brother-in-law Nathan nearly five years ago when Nathan was out of a job. Since then, Nathan’s financial status has well improved, though he never responded to Jack’s request to pay his outstanding debt. Nearly a year later at a family wedding, Nathan noticed that Jack was sporting a new wrist watch. Nathan inquired about purchasing Jack’s previous watch and Jack replied that he was interested in selling it for ten thousand dollars. The very next day he gave Jack ten thousand dollars cash for its purchase. Jack received the cash payment and informed Nathan that he was collecting the payment on account of the ten-thousand-dollar unpaid debt he was owed. Nathan was upset that he was shrewdly lured into such a predicament and pledged to bring an additional ten thousand dollars the following evening to pay back his debt. He told Jack that although he already purchased the watch, he agreed that it is to serve as collateral until he brings him the money owed. Jack responded that the watch is not for sale, and that he already collected the money owed. The two brothers-in-law brought their case to our Bet Din.

Is Jack required to accept another $10,000 and sell Nathan his watch? Can Jack refuse to sell him his watch after he received the cash from Nathan under false pretenses? How should the Bet Din rule and why?