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The Poisoned Ivy League

Why Harvard Alum Shabbos Kestenbaum is Suing Harvard for Anti-Semitism

An Exclusive Interview with Shabbos Kestenbaum

DAVE GORDON

Shabbos Kestenbaum has emerged as a prominent Jewish student activist, gaining significant attention for his efforts to combat anti-Semitism on college campuses, particularly at Harvard University.

Kestenbaum ‘s activism took center stage when he became the lead plaintiff in a lawsuit against Harvard University, alleging “pervasive” and systemic anti-Semitism.

Filed in January 2024, the lawsuit claims violations of Title VI of the Civil Rights Act and breach of contract.

According to the plaintiffs, the university has become a “bastion of rampant anti-Jewish hatred and harassment,” where Jewish students have faced intimidation, harassment, and even physical threats. The lawsuit highlights incidents such as pro-Hamas rallies on campus and administrative failures to discipline those responsible for anti-Semitic actions. Kestenbaum himself has recounted facing death threats after speaking out against anti-Semitic acts, including the defacement of posters depicting Israeli hostages.

He found himself on a campus hosting pro-Hamas demonstrations. Some professors reportedly referred to Hamas as “resistance fighters.” Requests for an Israeli flag display were denied by an administration that had previously flown flags for other causes like Ukraine. Kestenbaum also described incidents of

harassment so severe that he had to hire private security and reported instances where Jewish students were singled out or excluded due to their identities.

The case gained significant traction, and on August 6, 2024, U.S. District Judge Richard Stearns ruled that the lawsuit would proceed to trial, rejecting the school’s move to dismiss the case. Stearns criticized the university’s response to anti-Semitism as “indecisive, vacillating, and at times internally contradictory.” He noted that the plaintiffs had plausibly established that Harvard’s actions – or lack thereof – failed to meet Title VI’s requirements.

This first-of-its-kind legal action has positioned Kestenbaum, along with five other plaintiffs, at the forefront of the fight against anti-Semitism in higher education. He graduated from Harvard in June 2024.

The Plaintiffs’ Demands

The lawsuit seeks both monetary damages and systemic changes at Harvard. Plaintiffs demand disciplinary measures against those responsible for anti-Semitic acts, mandatory training on anti-Semitism akin to Title IX training for other forms of discrimination, and divestment from donations tied to anti-Semitic agendas. Kestenbaum has also called for a zero-tolerance policy for anti-Semitism at Harvard.

Harvard has defended its actions, stating that it is committed to combating anti-Semitism and fostering civil dialogue. However, critics argue that its responses have been insufficient. The university’s preliminary recommendations from an anti-Semitism task force earlier this year were met with disappointment from Jewish leaders, who deemed them insufficient.

The lawsuit tests how far universities must go to protect minority students while balancing free speech rights. For Kestenbaum and his co-plaintiffs, the fight is not just legal – it is about ensuring Jewish students can feel safe and respected in academic spaces.

Kestenbaum’s educational background reflects a strong connection to his Jewish heritage and community. He attended Yeshivat Noam in Teaneck, NJ, and later SAR High School in Riverdale, NY, after his family relocated.

At Harvard University, Kestenbaum enrolled in the Master’s in Theological Studies program at Harvard Divinity School. He founded and served as President of the Harvard Divinity School’s Jewish Student Association, and was active in Harvard Hillel and Chabad.

Kestenbaum Takes to the National Stage

Kestenbaum’s advocacy efforts have extended to the national stage. He testified before the Congressional House Education and Workforce Committee about anti-Semitism on campus. He has also spoken at various high-profile events, including the Republican National Convention on July 17, 2024, where he addressed the issue of antisemitism at Harvard. Despite speaking at the RNC, Kestenbaum has described himself as a Democrat who has consistently voted for the party, emphasizing his willingness to speak at both Republican and Democratic events to raise awareness about anti-Semitism.

Kestenbaum’s influence extends beyond political spheres. He has given presentations at non-political venues, including Bnai Yeshurun in Teaneck on July 29, 2024, and Shurat HaDin’s conference in New York in late October. He has been featured in numerous media outlets discussing his experiences and

activism. Recently, he won the Myron Zimmerman Award for Outstanding Student Activism from ZOA.

Community Magazine was granted an exclusive interview with Shabbos Kestenbaum, to discuss his impactful work, and his vision for a future.

CM: What are you doing now that you have graduated from Harvard?

I do lots of speaking engagements. I travel across the country, and we’re trying to build a coalition of young people who are passionate about Jewish identity, whose values are Jewish values. It’s just natural to me in the sense that I was raised to be a proud American and to be a proud Jew. It’s just kind of part of who I am. I am encouraging as many people as possible to do the exact same thing.

CM: If you weren’t doing what you do now, what would you be doing?

Yeah, if this craziness hadn’t happened, I always liked the idea of education. Maybe I would have pursued something in public policy. But primarily, I was really passionate about teaching. I actually taught before, both informal and informal education. But fortune had other plans. I have worked at Salanter Akiba Riverdale Academy in Riverdale, then I was a city director in Westchester’s National Council of Synagogue Youth.

I really enjoyed it. I primarily worked with Jewish teenagers, especially those from unaffiliated or limited backgrounds, trying to expose them to the beauty and the meaning Judaism. So again, I sort of was always doing this. I was always just passionate about it.

CM: What message would you send to major Jewish organizations?

The American Jewish community is blessed to have a plethora of Jewish nonprofits, of Jewish leaders. To me, though, one of the greatest problems that we young American Jews are experiencing is that there does not seem to be a lot of synthesis between those groups.

I’ll give you one quick example that happened this past January. A major CEO of a major Jewish nonprofit, I will not say who, came to Harvard and told us they had an ambitious plan. They’re going to create a national database where all Jewish students should report their incidents to that database, and they’re going to use that database to advocate for policy in Congress. Two weeks later, a CEO of a different major Jewish nonprofit came to Harvard and told us Jewish students, they’re going to create a national database, and all Jewish students should report things to them. And of course, they’ll use the data to advocate for policy.

So, we’re all on the same team. We all advocate more or less for the same things. But it doesn’t seem like the Jewish nonprofits are talking to each other as much as they should be, and the people who get hurt the most by that are, of course, Jewish students – because we bear the brunt of reckless leadership of an anti-Semitic, or indifferent, administration or university, and we really need our leaders to step up, and sometimes they don’t.

CM: What message would you give to Jewish students?

If I can do it, they can do it, too. Because the things that I do, I don’t think are particularly revolutionary or thought provoking. I think they’re pretty obvious. But not enough young people were saying it. Not enough young people at the time were calling out the universities, were calling out their classmates and professors.

Many of us thought the same things, but few were willing to say it out loud. Thankfully, the tide has slowly turned, and more and more North American Jewish students are taking on the mantle of leadership. They’re filing lawsuits. They’re testifying in front of Congress and parliament. They are, on their own initiative, meeting with lawmakers on both sides of the aisle. So, I’ve always been passionate about those things, and I’m incredibly grateful that I have been given a platform to continue to speak about those things.

CM: I understand that you’ve litigated Harvard. Could you expand on that, and where’s it at now?

We filed in mid-January, essentially alleging gross violation of Title VI or the Civil Rights Act. We believe Harvard has totally been flagrant with the violation of their obligations under federal law. Harvard filed a motion to dismiss with prejudice, though they didn’t acknowledge the anti-Semitic environment. They did not apologize. They did not come to the negotiating table. Instead, they asked a judge to not only toss out our lawsuit, but to make it so that no other Jewish student in the future would be able to hold the university accountable. So, we filed an amended complaint in late May, I believe, to reflect the increasing acts of anti-Semitism, and Harvard did the exact same thing. They filed a second motion to dismiss with prejudice, and we are incredibly thankful that in August, the judge, Judge Richard Stearns of the Federal District Court of Massachusetts, tossed out Harvard’s double motions to dismiss, and we’re going to trial.

This is one of the first cases in American history that pertains to the Civil Rights violations of Jews on a college campus, that will actually have gone to trial. So, we will begin a period of depositions, a period of discovery. And Harvard should be nervous, because the facts on our side and they will finally, finally, finally be held accountable for their pervasive and systemic anti-Semitism that they formalized, they accepted and that celebrated. And might I say, aided, abetted, and was an accomplice to.

I will continue to hold them accountable, both in the court of law in the court of public opinion. And I encourage donors, I encourage alumni, I encourage the American Jewish community to follow this story closely.

CM: You were invited to speak at the Republican National Convention. When you got the call, what was that call like?

I remember the call really well, because I was actually driving to the Hamptons. I was driving on the highway, and this woman called me. Her name was Brittany, and said, “We’ve been following your story, and we’re so sorry what you’re experiencing, and we would love it if you would be willing to speak at the Republican National Convention.”

I was so caught off guard by that. I wasn’t able to process. That’s like, a pretty big deal.

I was very clear that I would speak on almost any platform, if it meant that the narratives of Jewish students on college campuses would be heard and would be elevated.

I was also clear publicly, that if the Democrats and the Democratic National Convention wanted me to speak, I would be more than happy to. I’d be happy to connect them with any Jewish student. And they refused to take me up on that offer.

The Republican National Convention, to their credit, allowed me to speak. They allowed me to share my story. I did not endorse Trump at that speech. I was very clear to shy away from the political endorsement. But I give credit to the Republicans and credit to the Republican National Convention. They amplified the voices of Jewish students.

I was doing a walkthrough of my speech with the RNC staff. They sort of told me the logistics and the technical details. It was only after the two-hour walkthrough as I’m about to leave, I turn around and actually said, “You know, I do have one question. Can you promise me that when I give this speech tonight in front of 30,000 people in the arena, and look at President Trump in front of millions of Americans watching at home, can you promise me that the camera shows my kippah?”

This would be the biggest audience I would ever receive that could actually see that in the 21st century, young American Jews not only can and should, but must, must, must be wearing their Jewish pride as loudly, publicly and confidently as ever before.

That moment in my life I will not soon forget. It was incredibly special to be able to represent some of the Jewish students who’ve entrusted me with their stories, and to showcase how I am proudly Jewish. I’m proudly American, and those two are not contradictory.

CM: If you had any advice for President-elect Donald Trump, what would it be?

Deliver on the promises, whether it’s the anti-Semitism awareness act, whether it is cutting funding from anti-Semitic universities that have violated the civil rights of students, whether it is taxing the endowments or deporting non-American students who violate the law. He should make good on the promises he has made, and I will help the administration, in any capacity, in any position, to work with the Jewish American community, to work with Jewish students, and to make sure that our community is protected, and has advocates.

CM: What is your advice to Jewish students?

Don’t stop fighting. This is an inflection point in our country’s history, and in particular in the story of American Jewry. It has never been more important to wear your Jewish pride loudly, publicly.

You have nothing to apologize for. Advance the cause of American democracy, of Western civilization, of the Jewish state and of Jewish values. Because this fight, the fight of ideology, is critical for the survival not just of the Jewish people, but of the United States.

Students are on the front lines of this battle. It’s a battle that’s being waged 24/7. It’s a battle that we didn’t ask to be part of. It’s a problem we did not create, but it’s young Jewish students who are going to fix the problem.

CM: What do you mean by “fix the problem”?

The problem is that of rampant anti-Semitism, political indoctrination, and anti-Americanism on our campuses. We are the ones who are going to showcase not just to our college campuses, but to the rest of the country, that America is good, that Jewish values are worth fighting for, that American Jews are part of the tapestry of what makes this country so great, and we are not going to shy away from our identity and from our ideology.

CM: What would you like the Jewish community to do, to help you and to help college students?

You must amplify the voices of Jewish students.

Invite them to your dinners and conferences. Have them in the boardrooms and in the meetings. Bring them to Capitol Hill because they have something that you will never have, and that is direct personal experience. They know how to fix this more than anyone in the Jewish community. Respect their voices.

Listen to the students.

DFL Super Bowl Preview

Sam Sutton

The 2024 DFL season has been nothing short of spectacular. With thrilling matchups, jaw-dropping performances, and unforgettable moments, the league’s journey has now reached its pinnacle: the Super Bowl. And what better matchup could fans have hoped for? The top two seeds, the Smooth Mobile Oil Cowboys and the Egleston Air Eagles, will clash in what promises to be an epic showdown.

Championship Round Recap: Cowboys Steamroll the Dolphins

The Cowboys, captained by Allen Mustacchi, have been the most consistent team all season, and their dominance was on full display in the championship round. Facing a red-hot Dolphins team that had gained momentum in the playoffs, the Cowboys left no room for doubt. Behind a stellar performance by their star QB Eli Siegal, they cruised to a commanding 31-6 victory. Their precision offense and stifling defense left the Dolphins with no answers, and the Cowboys firmly cemented themselves as the favorites heading into the Super Bowl.

Eagles Engineer an All-Time Comeback

While the Cowboys dominated, the Eagles had to fight tooth and nail to punch their ticket to the big game. Captained by Michael Panetz, the Eagles found themselves in an 11-point deficit with just two minutes to play against the well-rounded 49ers. What followed was nothing short of legendary.

Quarterback Shimi Cohen took over, orchestrating the greatest postseason comeback in DFL history. With everything on the line, Cohen connected repeatedly with his star wide receiver, Menachem Dubin, who seemed unstoppable in crunch time. In a stunning turn of events, the Eagles pulled off a miraculous 23-19 victory, leaving fans and the 49ers alike in disbelief. This resilient performance proved that the Eagles are not just contenders but a team with championship grit.

A Clash of Titans

The Cowboys enter the Super Bowl as the undisputed favorites. Led by QB Eli Siegal, the de facto #1 draft pick, this team has been a powerhouse all season. Siegal’s ability to deliver pinpoint passes and make smart decisions under pressure has been the backbone of their success.

But the Cowboys’ strength lies in their depth. JoJo Matut and Mordy Sultan, a rookie wide receiver duo, have been nothing short of electric. Their speed and chemistry have made them a nightmare for opposing defenses.

Veterans like Mesh Novaseller and Yossi Abramson provide reliable options, offering stability and experience to complement the explosive plays. On the line, Captain Allen “Moose” Mustacchi, along with ball hawk Rodin and Jackie Sutton, form a formidable trio, providing both protection for Siegal and disruption on defense.

This balanced, high-powered roster has made the Cowboys the team to beat. With their regular-season victory over the Eagles in hand, they’ll look to replicate that success and secure the championship.

Egleston Air Eagles

If any team can challenge the Cowboys, it’s the Eagles. While they may enter as underdogs, their postseason heroics have shown that they thrive under pressure. Quarterback Shimi Cohen has been nothing short of a marvel, leading his team with poise, precision, and an uncanny ability to deliver in clutch moments.

The Eagles have plenty of firepower. Michael Panetz and Menachem Dubin form an elite wide receiver duo that has carried the offense all season. Dubin’s performance in the championship round solidified his status as one of the league’s most dangerous playmakers.

Jake Gluck, a standout on the defensive line, is also a key contributor at tight end, bringing versatility and toughness to the team. Shmuey Lewis and Noam Katsil embody the “do-it-all” mentality, making plays on both sides of the ball and giving the Eagles a well-rounded edge.

Irwin Sutton and Charlie Mizrachi bring the intangibles—leadership, grit, and a winning mentality—that every championship team needs.

The Eagles will lean on their chemistry, resilience, and balanced roster to challenge the Cowboys in what promises to be a tightly contested battle.

The Super Bowl

The DFL Super Bowl is set and the stage couldn’t be bigger. The Cowboys, with their star-studded lineup and near flawless record, will look to cap off their dream season with a championship. Meanwhile, the Eagles, riding the wave of their historic comeback, will aim to prove that their grit and determination can overcome even the toughest opponent.

What’s Next?

Stay tuned for next month’s issue, where we’ll break down every play, highlight the game’s biggest moments, and crown the 2024 DFL champion. Will the Cowboys complete their season of dominance, or will the Eagles defy the odds one last time? One thing is certain: this Super Bowl is one for the ages.

From the Files of the Bet Din

The Case

Cookies and… Scream

Moe and Cindy were returning home Saturday night after spending the weekend with Cindy’s parents. They stopped off at a local ice cream parlor and purchased ice cream cones that they ate in their car in the dark. As Cindy got to the bottom of the cone, she reached with her fingers to the bottom of the cone to eat what seemed to be the last chunk of chocolate. After biting into it, Cindy began screaming and discharged from her mouth a sizeable roach. Utterly repulsed, she repeatedly vomited. After tending to his wife, Moe stormed into the ice cream store and berated the store owner for the incident, demanding compensation for his wife’s mental and emotional anguish. The store owner was sincerely apologetic but refused to resolve the matter that evening.

Moe and Cindy filed a written complaint to our Bet Din, claiming $10,000 in compensation. In Bet Din, the store owner explained that his store had been operating for over nine years and he never encountered a complaint. Furthermore, he recently passed an inspection with the board of health. He felt that the incident was due to circumstances beyond his control and that he should not be liable for the unfortunate experience.

How should the Bet Din rule, in favor of Cindy or the store owner and why?

Torah Law

According to Torah law, one who damages another can be liable to pay the victim for five distinct types of compensation. Obviously, a victim is entitled to compensation for permanent bodily damage sustained. In addition, a victim may, when applicable, collect compensation for pain suffered, the loss of employment, medical expenses, and the humiliation experienced because of the incident. Specific formulas to calculate each type of compensation due is prescribed by our sages. Compensation for mental anguish generally falls under the category of medical expenses, as the money collected serves to offset the cost of the therapy needed to help heal a suffering victim.

Many conditions apply before a victim can collect payment for damage suffered. While it is outside the parameters of this article to encompass the numerous exemptions applicable to damage liability, the following information serves as an indication to the intricacy of Torah law. A competent halachic authority must always be consulted before determining Torah law.

According to the ruling of the Shulhan Aruch, in instances where an offender performs an act that indirectly results in damage, a Bet Din will not forcibly collect payment from him. While the offender is responsible by Divine decree to compensate for the damage caused, a Bet Din will not intervene and collect on behalf of a victim. In addition, if the indirect damage was done without malicious intent, the offender is absolved from all responsibility. Hence, in instances of indirect damage resulting from circumstances beyond the defendant’s control, he is absolved of all liability.

In the classic Talmudic case of an animal that ate poison that was placed in front of it, the decision was not to forcibly collect from the offender who had placed the poison, but rather to inform him of his moral obligation by Divine decree to compensate the owner for the loss of his animal. There is a dispute between leading halachic authorities in explaining the logic behind this ruling. While all authorities agree that the incident constitutes a standard case of indirect damage, they differ regarding the exact rationale. Some commentators explain that an animal, by nature, has a keen sense of smell that protects it from eating dangerous substances. And thus, even if poison is mixed with animal food, it is clearly within the capacity of the animal to refrain from eating it. Therefore, if an animal consumes poison, the act cannot be attributed to the wrongdoing of the one who merely placed the poison in front of it.

Others explain that an offender can only be liable to pay compensation if he plays an active role in inflicting damage. If, however, the offender is completely passive at the time of damage, and it is rather the victim who actively inflicts himself, compensation cannot be forcibly collected from the offender. Therefore, even if it is likely that an animal will eat the poison that is mixed with its food, the offender is exempt, since the animal actively inflicted itself by initiating the consumption of the poison. Although the offender placed the poison within reach, his only liability is to meet his moral obligation of reimbursement prescribed by Divine law.

This halachic debate has far-reaching implications. According to the first opinion, if somebody placed in front of another person food that is not fit for consumption, it may legally be rendered as direct damage, enabling a Bet Din to collect from the offender. Unlike dogs, a human being will not necessarily distinguish an inedible product by its smell, and thus the offender is liable for all subsequent damage. Nevertheless, even according to this opinion, if the victim sensed a potential problem with the food and chose to continue eating, then the act of damage might not be attributed to the offender, since the victim ate the food despite sensing something was awry.

However, according to the second reasoning mentioned, the act of placing inedible food in front of another person to eat renders one liable only by Divine decree. Since the offender was completely passive, and the victim, albeit unintentionally, inflicted himself by consuming the food, a Bet Din will not exact payment from the offender. Hence, if the defendant who placed the inedible food for another to consume was not negligent, and had no malicious intent while serving the food, then, according to this opinion, he is absolved from all liability.

As a rule, a Bet Din will incorporate into Torah law a custom practiced in a commercial market. In the food and restaurant industry, a minimal standard of cleanliness is required. The store

owner implicitly guarantees, and accepts responsibility, to ensure that his product meets these standards. Hence, depending on the specific case at hand, a Bet Din may require an owner to compensate a client when a health violation occurs due to poor environmental standards.

Endnotes: Baba Kama 83b, 47b; Tosafot, Baba Kama 47b “hava lah;” Rosh, op cit, citing Orah Lahaim; Rambam, Hilchot Nizke Mammon 4:2; Hazon Ish, Baba Kama 14:9.

VERDICT: Unintentional Encroachment

From a halachic standpoint, Cindy is not entitled to compensation for the anguish she suffered. She did not incur any medical expenses for the painful incident. Furthermore, as discussed, a defendant is exempt from payment in cases of indirect damage caused by circumstances beyond his control. After investigation and review of the files at the Department of Health, it emerged that the store was running a clean operation, met all environmental standards, and was free of any complaints on record. Furthermore, the roach was found at the bottom of a cone, a product that was supplied by a cone distributor who is unaffiliated with the store owner, making it impossible for the owner to prevent the incident. Moreover, when questioned, Cindy admitted that as she picked up the roach with her fingers, she sensed a potential foreign substance, but nevertheless continued to eat. Hence, since it was within her capacity to refrain from eating, the act cannot be attributed to the store owner. In addition, halachically, the store owner played a passive role in the subsequent damage, as it was Cindy who ate the cone. Since the damage was caused by circumstances beyond the store owner’s control, he is absolved from all responsibility.

Nevertheless, for the sake of peace, and with a commitment from Moe and Cindy that they would not slander the store in the future, the owner agreed to pay Cindy $500.

YOU BE THE JUDGE

Lost and Found

Debbie and Joey were married less than a year when they realized that their ketuba was lost. Since Debbie did not remember ever storing her ketuba for safekeeping, the couple decided to review their wedding video to determine who was entrusted with the ketuba. The video indicated that Debbie’s mother had placed the ketuba on a small table at the time of the ceremony and it is very likely that it was left there unattended and was disposed of after the wedding. Although the ketuba was lost, a much more disturbing find was discovered upon study of the video. One of the witnesses of their kiddushin was Joey’s close relative. At this point it was evident that the young rabbi who officiated their wedding was incompetent, as the video showed that he never carefully chose valid witnesses prior to the marriage, but rather randomly picked two people to witness the marriage. Our Bet Din reached out to the rabbi, who admitted that since the witnesses did not object to the appointed role, he assumed that they were not related. With a very embarrassing situation at hand, the couple confidentially reached out to our Bet Din seeking a remedy for their problem. Do they need to remarry? If so, can it be done without a formal ceremony? Are the wedding blessings to be said all over again? Which date is to be written on the new ketuba, the day of their mistaken ceremony or today’s date?

How Should the Bet Din Rule and Why?

(This case is from the archives of the files of the Bet Din dating back over a decade ago. Due to the sensitivity of the matter, at that time it was not published. As with all cases published, the names and details are changed in order to protect the confidentiality of the parties involved.)

Building Dreams Together

Building Through Loss: Finding Purpose in Pain Jack Gindi

Each morning, as the sun rises over the Rockies, I see nature’s reminder: after darkness comes light. This truth is more profound than ever. My family and I face life’s most challenging journey – coping with the loss of my beloved son, Shaun.

Like many who suffer a significant loss, we haunt ourselves with the question: How do we move on when our world has stopped? I have learned the answer is often found in unexpected moments. They are usually found in conversations, communities, and helping others through similar challenges.

The path through grief is not linear. Some days feel impossible, while others offer glimpses of purpose. It becomes clear that deep pain changes us. It nudges us forward to uncover meaning. It lights our direction toward change. In that journey, we begin to piece together a path that is bigger than ourselves.

This morning, I meditated. I reflected on Shaun’s dreams and our work with struggling teens and families. I realized something profound: moving forward does not mean moving on. It means carrying our loved ones’ vision with us.

After years in real estate development, I learned that every structure needs a solid foundation. But building through loss teaches us something different. Sometimes, our most robust foundations are on the most broken ground. When we channel our grief into purpose, remarkable transformations become possible.

I learned this lesson first in 2008 when I lost my real estate portfolio. Every building I had constructed, every deal I had made – gone. Starting over in my fifties seemed impossible. Yet, that experience taught me that true building is not about properties. It is about building lives.

The rebuilding taught me lessons. They helped me develop tools to guide other families facing similar setbacks. My son, Shaun, embodied this spirit of transformation. He struggled with anxiety and depression. Still, he wanted to help other young people find their way. His words guide me: “I want to transform kids’ lives… I want people to experience an accomplishment in a way that they might have thought was beyond them.” He dreamed of showing kids that their struggles do not define them. I’m struck by the irony that I’m only learning of his dream now in his diary.

I am in my office as I write this. The morning light beams through my window. It reminds me that while some dreams end too soon, others are beginning. I invite you to feel your way through your pain and find your new chapter. We can all discover new meanings because of our losses, not despite them.

Remember: We often discover our most meaningful purpose in our darkest moments. The key is to remain open to the possibilities. It may not feel like it in the moment, but your greatest pain can often become your greatest gift to others.

Consider this: What could you build if setbacks were new beginnings, not endings? What meaning could you create from life’s most challenging moments?

Let’s build dreams together, one story at a time.

An Achieved Life – Remembering Zak Mishaan, A”H

Mozelle Forman

In life, we like to be prepared. We like to know what’s coming next and what we can look forward to. This psychological disposition is primarily driven by a desire for control and a belief that by anticipating events we can reduce our anxiety. Also, it is a natural human tendency to think about potential outcomes. Doing so allows us to plan and make informed decisions based on predicted future scenarios. Essentially, knowing what the future will bring can provide a sense of security and allows us to make a plan of action in an uncertain world. When the unexpected happens, we become agitated and anxious. We can be momentarily thrown off our game while we contemplate our actions based on the changed circumstances. And when an unexpected, untimely death occurs, the shock, anxiety, and grief throw us into a tailspin.

The community at large, and the Mishaan family in particular, experienced this phenomenon when Zak, a”h, was suddenly taken from this world on Hol Hamoed Sukkot, just the day before his beloved holidays of Hoshana Raba and Simhat Torah. The disbelief, the question of “how could this be?” was a haunting echo for his family, as they struggled to make sense of something that made no sense. Visitors to the family endeavored to offer consolation, even while knowing that words were hollow and the grief was deep. Yet, as Rabbi Eli Mansour stated at the arayat, “You don’t have to have answers when you have friends. The greatest consolation for the mourners is to be there for them, and cry with them, and hold their hand.”

Community Rabbis’ Words of Consolation

Rabbi Meir Yedid described the sense of disorientation Zak’s family and friends endured with his sudden passing. “We ask ourselves, eichah, how could it be?” as we do in Megilat Eichah, pondering the loss of the Beit Hamikdash. “How could it be that Zak is gone?” In an effort to offer consolation and understanding to his family and friends, Rabbi David Ozeri shared the story of Hanoch who died at the young age of 365 years old, when his contemporaries were living between 800 and 900 years. “The Torah tells us, ‘Hanoch walked with Elokim, and then he was no longer there, because Elokim had taken him.’ No explanation, no preparation. One day he was just gone. In the same way, Zak was taken from us.” We cannot comprehend the why’s of Hashem’s world and Rabbi Mansour confirms that “Gd is supposed to be beyond our comprehension. If I understand every move that my Gd makes then I have demoted Him to human intellect.”

Rabbi Azencot likens Zak’s short but powerful life to the life of our matriarch Sarah. When the Torah recounts her life, it is written, “The life of Sarah was 100 years and 20 years and 7 years; the years of Sarah’s life.” Rashi famously tells us that the repetition of “the years of Sarah’s life” indicates that, while they were not many in number, they were equally good. Rabbi Azencot explained that, like Sarah, all of Zak’s years were good. “He lived his life with a sense of urgency, running to catch every mitzvah. His life was full of achievement with concern for everyone and kavod for the Torah with majesty and dignity. He is a role model to all of us of how to live an achieved life.” Focusing on the achievements of his life can bring an acceptance that he fulfilled his mission in this world assuaging our need to ask why? Rabbi Mansour shared the advice he personally heard Rabbi Amar give to a grieving mother: “You have enough pain in your loss. Don’t pain yourself more in trying to figure it out.”

A True Friend

The short and meaningful life that Zak lived, was the epitome of verse 1:6 in Pirkei Avot, “Make for yourself a Rabbi, acquire for yourself a friend, and judge every person to the side of merit.” Zak’s friends and family overwhelmingly cited his love and respect for the Rabbis and described his yearning for and connection to them. He sought out their counsel, supported their causes, and was proud to know the rabbis and be known by them. Rabbis David Ozeri, Meyer Yedid, and David Sutton considered Zak to be a friend and they shared a close relationship with him. They applauded his successes and were awed by his commitment and devotion to tefillah and hesed. Rabbi Ozeri cites Zak’s delight at being able to donate generously, proactively writing a ma’aser check before he had even earned the money and celebrating with a l’haim, not to his earnings, but to his zechut for giving the money to charity.

Zak acquired many friends in his lifetime – you might say he sought out friendship from many and those he sought felt better for having known him. Ikey Mandalawy, a more recent friend, expressed the sheer comedy of his friendship with Zak given their 20-year age difference and lack of commonality. What was most impressive to Ikey was Zak’s conscientious adherence to the third element of our Mishna – judge your fellow favorably. Zak had on the spur of a moment joined Ikey and a group of men on a short trip to Israel. Ikey recounts a conversation he had with Zak on that trip. “Zak came to me and said, ‘When I first met you, I sized you up and made up my mind the kind of guy you are. But that’s not who you are. You are different than I thought you would be and I apologize for thinking that.’ I was surprised. I would have never known what he thought of me if he hadn’t said anything. But even thinking wrong about me upset him and he had to acknowledge it.” Zak’s inner conscience and his desire to achieve maximum growth motivated him to acknowledge his mistake and to deliver an apology even when not necessary.

A Man of Intense Dedication

Zak’s dedication to Torah, tefilla, hesed, and emet, and his profound respect for the Rabbis comes as no surprise to those who knew him well. Zak’s fierce dedication and loyalty, his enthusiastic energy, were all part of his DNA. He adored his parents, was passionately devoted to his wife and children, and held his friends dear. Every tefilla, said with deep fervor and intent was in the zechut of his children. Rabbi Ozeri witnessed his deep concentration during tefilla and believes that Zak “built a real relationship with Hashem through his prayers.” His children attest to the fact that he was their greatest fan and greatest support. He poured his love into them with his

heart and with his time. His mother, Sally Mishaan, described Zak’s singular ability to “make each person feel uniquely valued…and made them feel that you truly understood their struggle.”

We are told that anything we experience or witness in our life has significance from which we can learn and grow. What is the legacy that we inherit from Zak’s passing at the prime of his life? We can learn much by listening to the thoughts and emotions his children expressed at his arayat. Sally, described as her father’s princess, expressed her gratitude for all the shared times she had with her father and his excitement and encouragement of all her endeavors. Jackie began with words of thanks, as did both of his brothers. “My Dad used to say you can never say thank you enough, so I thank the community and give hakarat hatov to Hashem for creating this amazing community.” Jackie believes that clinging to Torah was the most valuable choice Zak ever made for his family and advises, “never take your parents for granted.” Zak’s son Sam witnessed his father invest in making a mark on people. “Dad,” he said at the arayat, “you believed in me, gave me strength, uplifted me, and built my inner confidence.” Richie summed up his father’s legacy of persistently working on himself and passing Torah values to his family. “It is our time to live as he lived – seize each moment of every day, fear Hashem in all of our doings, love unconditionally, and be relentless for our families.”

Zak’s World View

Rabbi Meyer Yedid observed that Zak lived his life with an intuitive understanding that the world we live in is not permanent. “When one recognizes that the world is temporary it gives you power, it gives you strength, it makes you value life, and the opportunities that life gives us…we start to love people, start to ask what are we responsible for, and we become givers.” Zak looked for the opportunities that would bring him closer to Hashem, he focused on the love he felt for his family and friends. He understood his responsibilities to his community and his avodah and sought out any occasion to become a giver. The length of our life does not determine the impact that we can make on the world. Zak is proof of this. The prerequisite for living a full and fulfilled life is the desire to show up and make a difference. And Zak made a difference in the lives of so many. In a loving tribute to his brother, Saul Mishaan expressed what he believed Zak would have liked to say to his friends and family. “Life is short; use your time wisely. Keep your friends close, draw strength from one another, enjoy your family, and always be grateful.”

These are words of wisdom that can help us to live our fullest, most connected life. May Hashem send comfort to his family, friends, and the entire community. And in the merit of trying to emulate Zak’s approach to life, may his neshama have an aliyah. Amen.

Update on Proposed Coney Island Casino

Ellen Gellar Kamaras

The ongoing debate around the $3 billion Coney Island casino project, The Coney, recently deepened on both sides. Opponents continue to claim that the casino will only benefit the developers and investors, and will bring many harmful consequences to residents, our children and families, local businesses, and visitors. The Coney’s advocates persistently argue that it will offer necessary economic prospects of new jobs and revitalization, to a neighborhood that has grappled with seasonal ebbs and flows.

There are two important updates.

Demapping Plan

A September 2024 article by Charles Denson, the Executive Director of the nonprofit Coney Island History Project, highlighted that the developers, in their June 27 presentation to the NYC Planning Commission, included a dangerous land-grab demapping plan of epic proportions.

The consortium asked NYC to close and “demap” the three main streets in the amusement zone that connects Surf Avenue to the oceanfront and to transform these critical city streets into “landscaped pedestrian walkways” for the casino and the adjoining hotel’s benefit. These three streets are Stillwell Avenue, West 12th Street, and West 15th.

This plan would jeopardize the safety of the millions who visit Coney Island in the summer to enjoy the free access it offers to the Boardwalk, beach, and ocean, and would destroy the existing businesses encircling the casino complex.

Denson cited the following negative consequences if the city signs off on this plan.

These three streets are currently used as designated fire lanes by ambulances, police cars, and fire trucks. If the plan is approved, emergency access to the Boardwalk,

beach, and amusement park will be a quarter of a mile away. Firefighters will need to pull hoses for long distances to fight a fire and medical staff would push stretchers from gridlocked Surf Avenue to help people on the Boardwalk, beach, or rides. First responders must have these streets as access points to save lives. Cutting vehicular access will lead to increased response time, and the loss of lives.

· Disability parking and wheelchair accessibility to the Boardwalk and beach would be limited in violation of the ADA Accessibility Standards.

· Deliveries to local businesses and amusement parks will be blocked.

· Utility and repair vehicles will not be able to service businesses south of Surf Avenue.

· 160 public parking spaces would be cut and would turn West 12th Street into a short driveway leading to the casino’s private 1,500-car parking garage. Cars entering and exiting the casino garage will cause a bottleneck at the already overcrowded intersection of Surf Avenue and West 12th Street.

· Public School 90 is on West 12th Street, a block north of the proposed casino. When casino traffic gridlock backs up on West 12th Street, it will cause delays for parents dropping off or picking up their kids from school by car.

Denson summarizes his arguments against the demapping plan with a history lesson: “Stillwell Avenue, West 12th Street, and West 15th are vital to the life of the amusement zone and must be kept open. These streets were cut through to the ocean in the 1920s when the beach was still private property. The City built these thoroughfares to provide access for the public to enjoy a free beach and Boardwalk.”

October 2024 Town Hall Meeting

At a packed October town hall meeting led by local activist Ronald Stewart, a diverse group of adversaries of the Coney expressed their fears over the effect of gambling on the community and claimed that a casino would hurt rather than help Coney Island. They voiced concerns about the crime, escalated traffic, and addiction that go along with

casinos. According to Mr. Stewart, this will take value from the people who gamble their money away.” Local business owners maintained that the Coney would harm their livelihoods and drive away customers who travel to Coney Island for its distinctive vibe and entertainment.

Sarah Jenkins, longtime resident and community activist said, “We do not want Coney Island to become a haven for gambling and vice. This is a place where families come to enjoy the beach, the rides, and the unique culture that makes Coney Island so special. A casino has no place here.”

Supporters of the Coney also made their voices heard. Joseph Packer believes that the Coney could keep entertainment spending within Brooklyn. He and his family frequently travel to NJ since Coney Island does not have the facilities that Atlantic City has. Other advocates claim that the Coney will attract visitors and thereby benefit local businesses, raise property values, and create tax revenue for public services.

Coney Island is one of three downstate gambling casino sites in the NYC area for which developers and gaming companies are bidding for licenses. The Gaming Facility Location Board review process, community comment period, study of the impact on the neighborhood, and determination of who is awarded the license, remain scheduled for some time in 2025.

Governor Kathy Hochul was recently criticized after anonymous reports appeared that she would support legislation benefiting Mets owner Steve Cohen for a casino near Queens’ Citi Field.

Although the Brooklyn Chamber of Commerce is in favor of the Coney, Community Board (CB) 13 and most of its underlying four district neighborhood residents, remain opposed to Joseph Sitt’s application for the Coney Project.

While not geographically included in CB 13, the Sephardic Community Federation is firmly opposed to the application for a Coney Island Casino.

SCF has worked tirelessly to preserve the community’s values, protect against addiction risks and economic disruption, and ensure a prosperous and vibrant future for all residents of Southern Brooklyn. SBC took a leading position in encouraging other community organizations to join their fight against the Coney by creating the No Coney Casino Petition and website: https://p2a.co/slDezlj.

What You Can Do

Complete the form on https://p2a.co/slDezlj to help protect our neighborhood by saying “no coney island casino.” Send an email to your officials with one click.

to your input

Contact the officials below to find out who is representing them at the Community Advisory Committee meetings. Communicate your questions and concerns to:

NY State Senator Jessica Scarcella-Spanton, 718-727-9406.

Assemblyman Michael Novakhov (District 45), 718-743-4078.

Local City Council member Justin Brannan (District 47), 718-307-7151.

Brooklyn Borough President Antonio Reynoso, 718-802–3700.

Mayor Eric Adams, 311.

Governor Kathy Hochul, 518-474-8390.

Words of Rabbi Eli J. Mansour – The Signature Qualities of the Jewish People

Something about baby Moshe made it clear that he was Jewish.

Moshe’s mother had placed him in a basket in the river, and the basket was soon discovered by none other than the Egyptian princess, Pharaoh’s daughter. She opened the basket, saw a baby crying, and immediately determined, “Miyaldeh ha’Ivrim zeh – This one is from the children of the Hebrews!” (Shemot 2:6). Apparently, Moshe had some feature that was unique to Beneh Yisrael, such that the princess was immediately able to conclude that he was one of “the children of the Hebrews.”

Rashi writes that she saw Moshe’s berit milah, and this was enough for Pharaoh’s daughter to determine that he was a Jew.

There are, however, other approaches that have been taken – and which highlight certain qualities which characterize – and must always characterize – the Jewish Nation.

The Silent Cry

One such explanation I was privileged to hear from the former Ashkenazic Chief Rabbi of the State of Israel, Rav Yisrael Meir Lau, shelit”a.

Rav Lau noted a number of other difficulties in this verse. For one thing, Moshe is referred here in two different ways. The Torah tells that “vatir’ehu et hayeled” – the princess saw “the child,” but then writes, “hinei na’ar bocheh” – “behold, a young lad was crying.” The words “yeled” (child) and “na’ar” (young lad) are not at all synonymous. A yeled is a small child, whereas a na’ar is an older child, a young adult. How could the Torah describe three-month-old Moshe as a “crying na’ar”?

Rashi, based on the Gemara (Sotah 12b), explains that Moshe’s voice resembled that of an older child, an adolescent. Although he was still an infant, he had the voice of a na’ar.

At first glance, this seems very strange. Why would Moshe, at three months old, have the voice of a teenage boy? Indeed, another view in the Gemara dismisses this opinion, refusing to accept that the greatest prophet and leader of all time was blemished in this fashion.

To explain this concept, Rav Lau draws upon his own experience as a young boy in a situation not all that different from Moshe’s.

Born in Poland in 1937, Rav Lau was a young boy when the Nazis broke into his family’s home to take them away. He recalls how his mother tried hiding him to protect him – just as Moshe’s mother successfully hid Moshe from the Egyptian authorities who were bent on carrying out Pharaoh’s cruel edict to kill all newborn boys. Little Yisrael Meir saw the dread and trepidation on his mother’s face, and he himself shared her fears. Still a young child, he naturally felt like crying – but he knew that he could not cry out loud. Any sound he would make would draw the attention of the Nazi troops. Although he was just several years old, the horrific circumstances he endured forced him to have the maturity to cry silently. Normally, only adults have the wisdom and strength to keep their cries to themselves, and

weep in silence, but young Yisrael Meir Lau, on that terrifying day, was, in this sense, an adult, and he cried quietly.

Many years later, Rav Lau realized that this might have been true also of baby Moshe. Although just an infant, Moshe had been trained to cry silently. Ever since birth, he was hidden from those who wanted to kill him, and so he was forced to weep quietly. And for this reason, Rav Lau said, the Torah says that Pharaoh’s daughter saw (vatir’ehu) a weeping child – and not that she heard the baby’s cries. Moshe was a yeled, a young child, but he cried like a na’ar, with the maturity to realize that he must cry silently, and so he was only seen, but not heard.

This is how the princess determined right away that Moshe was an Israelite child. Rav Lau explained that we Jews, having suffered so much persecution and hostility, are accustomed to silent weeping. We have been forced throughout our history to keep our cries quiet, to avoid drawing the attention and the resentment of those who seek to harm us. Silent weeping is a uniquely Jewish quality, and thus Pharaoh’s daughter immediately realized that “miyaldeh ha’Ivrim zeh” – Moshe was a Jew.

But there is a different understanding of this pasuk – one which reflects not only the unfortunate reality of our nation’s silent cries, but also the unique bond which we are to feel toward our fellow Jews.

The Crying Brother

This understanding emerges from a brief but fascinating comment of the Ba’al Haturim (Rabbenu Yaakov Ben Asher, Germany-Spain, d. 1340) in interpreting this verse. The Ba’al Haturim observes that the words “na’ar bocheh” (“a crying lad”), as spelled in this verse, have the same gematria (numerical value) as the words “zeh Aharon Hakohen – This is Aharon the Kohen.” Surprisingly, the Ba’al Haturim asserts that the “crying lad” in this verse is not Moshe, the infant whom Pharaoh’s daughter sees in the basket, but rather his older brother, Aharon, who was standing off to the side. The Torah tells us that Moshe’s sister, Miriam, had gone to the riverbank to see what would happen to her baby brother, but, according to the Ba’al Haturim, Aharon was there, too. And, as Aharon watched his baby brother helplessly floating in a basket on the river, without his parents or anyone to care for him, and exposed to the danger of the ruthless Egyptian authorities, he cried.

According to the Ba’al Haturim, the “yeled” and the “na’ar” in this verse are two different people – Moshe and Aharon. Pharaoh’s daughter saw the child, and then, “behold, there was a lad weeping” – she heard someone else crying for this infant. And it was then that she determined, “Miyaldeh ha’Ivrim zeh” – that this must be a Jewish child.

One of the defining characteristics of our nation is empathy, feeling each other’s pain. We are all brothers and sisters, and we all cry when our fellow Jew is in distress. When we hear of a fellow Jew who has taken seriously ill, we cry and pray. When we hear of a fellow Jew who has fallen into financial straits, we cry and see how we can help. When we hear of fellow Jews in Israel who are killed in war or terror attacks, we cry. We cry and pray for the hostages, for the soldiers waging war, for those who have sustained injuries, and for the grieving families. This is what we do. And so when Pharaoh’s daughter saw a young man crying because of a baby that was floating helplessly in the river, she understood that this was a Jewish child.

“Adam” vs. “Anashim”

Rav Meir Shapiro of Lublin (1887-1933) explained on this basis an otherwise mysterious Talmudic passage which, until his interpretation, was used by antisemites throughout the ages to fuel the flames of hatred and suspicion of Jews. The Gemara in Masechet Yevamot (61a) cites the prophet Yehezkel’s pronouncement to the Jewish Nation (34:31), “Adam atem” – literally, “You are people.” This indicates, the Gemara notes, that “you are called ‘adam,’ but the gentiles are not called ‘adam’.” The Gemara applies this teaching to a halachic concept, to a certain Torah law which depends on the particular status of “adam.” But many a Jew-hater seized upon the Gemara’s remark to provide “evidence” that we are a racist, supremacist people, that we consider all non-Jews as subhuman creatures. It goes without saying that this is a preposterous claim, as Torah law, ethics and tradition teaches us to extend sensitivity and kindness to all people, and to respect the divine image within every human being. But what, then, does the Gemara here mean? In what way are gentiles not considered “adam”?

Rav Shapiro explained the Gemara to mean that gentiles aren’t called “adam,” and are called instead the other word for “person” – “ish.” The difference between the words “adam” and “ish” is that the latter also has a plural form – “anashim.” When we want to speak of two or more people, we say “anashim.” Intriguingly, there is no corresponding plural term for “adam.” This word has only a singular form. The Gemara is teaching us that we, the Jewish People, are always referred to with the singular expression “adam,” even when there are many thousands of us. No matter how many Jews we are talking about, they are always “adam” – a single, indivisible unit. We are all one, like a single body. When one part of the body aches, the entire body suffers – and this is true of Am Yisrael, as well. We all feel each other’s pain, share in each other’s sorrow, and help shoulder each other’s burdens. But other people are called “ish,” or, in the plural, “anashim.” This does not mean that there’s anything wrong with people who aren’t Jewish. It means simply that other nations do not have the same unique cohesiveness and sense of family as Am Yisrael. This is one of our signature qualities, a feature of Jewish life that makes us unique.

Caring Community

I say with great pride that while this is true of the entire Jewish Nation, this is true especially of our beautiful community. One of the things that we excel in is the quality of sharing our fellow’s burden, and coming to his side in his time of need. We are kind, generous, giving, and – most important of all – concerned. We truly care about one another – about our fellow community members, and about our brothers and sisters from outside our community, no matter their background, affiliation, or level of observance. We embody the notion of “adam,” the notion that the entire Jewish Nation comprises a single organic entity that cannot ever be divided.

I hope and pray that in the merit of all the wonderful hesed performed by our community, and of all the heartfelt tefilot recited by our community members for our fellow Jews in need here, in Israel, and throughout the world, Hashem will bless His nation with peace and prosperity, and bring us our long-awaited final redemption, speedily and in our times, amen.

Living Emunah – This is Mercy?

Rabbi David Ashear

At times, people suffer from what they feel is unbearable pain. They have cried out to Hashem numerous times to prevent the specific situation they feared from occurring. They begged for His mercy, yet not only did the situation occur, but it happened in the word way imaginable.

It could be a man going through a divorce, being separated from his children, and becoming financially strapped. It could be a woman going through a divorce, suffering humiliation beyond belief, and believing she has nothing to look forward to other than struggles and more shame.

It could be a man who is trying hard to keep his business afloat but instead it collapses and thrusts him into deep debt. It could be parents experiencing heartache – disrespect, name-calling, public humiliation – caused by wayward children, consuming their every waking hour.

The list goes on. The sufferers begin to question, “I prayed for Hashem to help me. I learned that He is kind and merciful, but how can you call this mercy? Not only didn’t Hashem help me, but He made it much worse than I could have ever imagined! I begged Him and begged Him – and this is what I get? I’m not a bad person. I try hard to follow the Torah. Is this what I deserve? Please, make some sort of sense out of this.”

The Chovot HaLevavot (Shaar HaBitachon 3) teaches us that we never know the exact reasons things happen to people in This World, but our Rabbis tell us that we are living in the End of Days and all the souls in This World have already lived once before. Every single person here is in a mission to fix whatever needs fixing in order for him to live forever in total bliss in Olam HaBa – the World to come. We don’t know exactly what we have to do to accomplish our missions, but fortunately for us, Hashem does. In His complete and pure mercy, He puts every single person in the exact circumstances he needs to fulfill his purpose here.

Before we even came into the world, we were shown the lives we needed to live to fulfill this purpose. Knowing what was at stake, we practically begged Hashem for it. After we came here, however, we forgot about that. Now we ask, “Hashem, why are You doing this to me?”

Sometimes the situations are embarrassing. Sometimes they are painful, but if we actually knew what we are accomplishing in each circumstance Hashem puts us in, we would be thanking Him for each and every one of them. Perhaps we are pleading to Hashem for a certain result, but Hashem knows that if the results turn out the way we want, we could not accomplish what we are meant to be doing here.

Although it might seems like cruelty, in actuality, even when we get the opposite of what we hoped for, that, too, is mercy. A person could be a tzaddik, doing everything right. Maybe that is why he has the merit to experience what he is experiencing here to be able to take delight in Hashem forever.

Our sojourn in This World is very short: 70, 80, 90 years. The Next World is forever. That is where we are going to enjoy. The only way to do it, however, is to go through This World first.

If we can trust that even during the darkest times it is still our loving Hashem doing what is best for us, we will be greatly elevated. That itself can take the place of other difficult circumstances we were supposed to experience.

Hashem loves us more than we can imagine. Soon He is going to reveal this love to us, but for now, it is our job to trust.

Community Highlights – The Rochelle Gemal A”H Educational Center

The Rochelle Gemal A”H Educational Center would like to share a couple of messages that they received from their tutors.

“I’ve been working in collaboration with the RG Education Fund and get to see firsthand what a powerful impact they have for children in need of extra educational support. They make it possible to open windows of opportunity and access. Their motives are inspiring and the difference that is made because of the fund is invaluable.”

“Hi! I just wanted to let you know how the children I’ve been working with are doing. Especially their [a certain family’s] daughter. After break, I started informal assessments to track progress over the past year and she has made great, great strides! We will be continuing to get her through to the end of the program but, BH, to see such improvement with a student with her challenges is truly incredible. Thank you for making this journey possible. The difference this is making for her is invaluable.”

For more information about utilizing the services of the RG Educational Fund, or to sponsor a session for a student, please call Rabbi Norman Cohen 908-917-3901, or Mitchell Gemal 732-829-0794.

To sponsor via Zelle: rgeducationfund@gmail.com
To sponsor via Credit Card: https://secure.cardknox.com/rochellegemaleducationalfund

A Sneak Peek into SOD HAPARASHA

Below is a condensed excerpt from Rabbi Chaim Bibi’s new sefer, SOD HAPARASHA.

VAYEHI – A SPIRITUAL SIGN 

The body does not clothe a person’s soul directly. There exists an interface, the Selem, which clothes the soul. Thirty days prior to a person’s passing, certain aspects of one’s Selem depart. As per the verse, “Until the day blows past and the Selalim have fled.” One’s days are solely dependent on the ability to retain his Selem. It is apparent that when a person’s “day,” or his lifetime on earth approaches its end, this is signaled by his Sel leaving him first.

The verse in our Parasha reads, “The days of Yaakov had been gathered together in advance of the death of Israel.” A spiritual sign had been given to Yaakov that his death was at hand. This is the meaning of the verse, “Our days on earth are as a Sel.” Yaakov had been granted the ability to see that his Sel had been removed from him, which served as a clear spiritual sign that his death was imminent.

The biblical account of the spies bears out this concept. The Selem that nourished the physical bodies of the land’s inhabitants had darkened. Yehoshua and Calev knew that the ensuing result would be the imminent death of the inhabitants’ physical bodies! As it says, “Their Selem has departed from them.”

On Hashana Rabba it is both visible and determined if this spiritual sign of life remains attached to one or if his death is approaching. We beseech throughout the morning that our Sel not leave before its time. This is what King David was referring when he wrote, “Man exists by virtue of his Selem.”

Sefer is now available at Amazon.com/Sod HaParasha or at local Judaic stores.

MDY Students Explore the Festive Activities of Hanukah

Last month, the PG students of Magen David Yeshivah began exploring the festive traditions of Hanukah. The students had the opportunity to engage with a dreidel. To make the experience even more exciting, a hands-on art project was incorporated. For the activity, the students dipped a dreidel into either blue or yellow paint and explored how spinning the dreidel could create unique patterns on paper. With hand-over-hand assistance, some students practiced spinning the dreidel independently, while others focused on moving the dreidel across the paper to create vibrant designs. This activity provided a wonderful opportunity to strengthen fine motor skills, explore cause-and-effect, and enjoy creative expression. The results were truly beautiful, and the students were thrilled to see how their unique creations turned out. It was a fun and meaningful way to introduce the joy of Hanukah.

Tips for Traveling with Small Children

Frieda Schweky

This month, I thought it would be helpful if I asked around for tips on traveling with children. Normally when I introduce a topic, I include the names of the community members who have contributed their ideas or thoughts. However, this time I got a bunch of small tips from a lot of people. So, I didn’t list everyone by name, but instead I organized all the suggestions into helpful categories. Enjoy!

You’re about to spend a ton of hard-earned cash on a trip for your family. Here are some tips to hopefully help things go smoothly.

Ziplock Bags and/or Packing Cubes

When it comes to traveling with a number of children for a longer trip, planning ahead of time and using a simple tool like zip-top bags can make all the difference. For each child, prepare appropriate-sized Ziplock bags with each outfit for each day, and label with a marker what the outfits are intended for to save time once you get to your destination.

For example, prepare a Ziplock bag labeled “Sarah: Monday, Daytime.” In your Ziplock have everything your child might need to wear that day, like a beach dress and bathing suit. Also make an additional bag for nighttime activities. I labeled mine Sarah: Monday, Night.

Pack all toiletries in zip-top bags to avoid spilling mishaps. If Ziplock bags aren’t your thing, you can get packing cubes, either plain ones or even ones that come marked with the days of the week! This is a great option because they are reusable. To be super-efficient, get each family member their own color packing cube so it’s simple to tell the difference!

Bring Cheap Toys

When traveling with young children, it is extremely important to pack quiet toys that will keep them busy on a long flight. Head to a dollar store and pick up a few things you think might hold their attention.

You may be thinking, “I already have great toys.” That’s exactly the point. Leave your great toys at home. The things that you bring with you on your trip should be things you’d be comfortable with losing. Also, since the toys are new to the child they will most likely keep them busy longer.

You have enough to worry about with your kids. You don’t need to be babysitting toys.

Some ideas for travel toys are drawing tablets, the kind that cost $5 on Amazon, or about $8 for a two-pack. Their sole purpose is to doodle and erase. They’re zero mess. Just make sure to get one that has a tether so the pen can’t get lost! Playdough with a couple of molds can keep a kiddo busy for a while. Also, don’t forget to pack headphones!

Bring Medication

Tylenol or Motrin is important to bring with you on a flight/trip with young children. You never know whose ears will be sensitive to air pressure changes. FeverAll contains Acetaminophen, the same kind of pain reliever and fever reducer as in Tylenol, but it comes in suppository form. So this could be another option for babies who refuse liquid medicine, especially when you’re not looking for a fight on a plane. They are safe for babies and toddlers. Suppositories really come in handy as they are dry and small, ideal for carry-on purposes, and they work faster than liquid. These are also key to avoiding a red sticky mess. FeverAll is sold over-the-counter and can be found in most pharmacies next to the children’s pain relievers. In general, FeverAll is a great option for young children who are disgusted by the taste of medicine.

What to Pack in Your Carry-On

When traveling with a child under the age of one, it’s safest to pack changes of clothing in your carry-on. You should pack a couple of outfits for your child and one for yourself in case an accident happens on you as well.

Pack double the amount of diapers in your carry-on that you think you need for the flight. You never know if your flight will be delayed or how long it will take to check in and your carry-on may be your only baggage for a while. When it comes to baby wipes, pack one package in your carry-on and one in your checked baggage. Any additional wipes you need should be purchased at your destination. Wipes can add extra weight your luggage may not be able to afford.

Even if all of your children have aged out of diapers, pack a few wet wipes in a Ziplock bag to bring on a flight to clean hands and faces.

Snacks, Spill-Proof Cups, and FOOD Are a Must

A variety of healthy snacks should be packed in your carry-on for your children. Try to start off with savory options like pretzels, chips, fruits, and veggies. Only break out the sweets in case of behavioral emergencies or towards the end of the flight. No one wants a hyperactive child on a crowded flight. However, it’s good to know that lollipops can help with popping ears with cabin pressure changes, so you may want to pack a few. If your kids are old enough, gum can help with popping ears, too.

Something cool you can find on Amazon or at Target is mini-tackle boxes you can use for snacks. This was a social media trend that exploded because of its simple brilliance. It’s a flat container with multiple compartments so you can pack a good variety of snacks that will also help kids stay busy and satisfied on long flights. Best part: hand it over to your kids once and you’re done! They won’t have to bother you for snacks every few minutes.

Additionally, for children four and under, an empty spill-proof cup should be packed. When the flight attendant hands out beverages, you can pour whatever juice of choice into a spill proof cup and not have to think about it or assist the child further.

Also, I’m sure everyone knows this by now but just in case – BRING FOOD. Lots of real food. Travel days are stressful enough. Don’t add finding kosher food on the go to the list of things to stress about. Sandwiches, extra pita, butter noodles, mini pizzas, deli, cut veggies, hard boiled eggs, and all the portable food you can think of. More is more – you never know if a flight will be delayed. Be prepared!

Pack Blankets

Another must-pack item for your carry-on is a small blanket for each child – something comfortable enough to help the child sleep. A sleeping child is the most ideal when on a flight. Don’t forget pacifiers for babies who need them! Even taking the extra step of ordering child-size eye masks (the comfortable kind that have an indentation where the eyes go) can really save you from the unpredictable lights turning on. Pack one for yourself as well, why not! If the kids are busy enough with all this good stuff you’re packing they may let you snooze!

Additionally, a small stuffed animal can be brought to act as a pillow. Again, nothing sentimental that you wouldn’t want lost or ruined.

iPad or Portable DVD Player

For long flights or for children whose attention aren’t held by toys, bringing some portable electronic entertainment is a must. Make sure to charge devices in advance, pack chargers in your carry-on, and again, pack headphones! Bring headphones with wires so you can plug them into the monitor on the plane if it has one. They usually do! But in case they don’t, you’ll have the DVD player or tablet!

Additionally, you may not have Wi-Fi on the flight, so prepare in advance. Download age-appropriate games and some streaming apps like Netflix that have off-line options. Make sure to have that set up ahead of time for quick and easy on-board streaming.

Make a Spreadsheet

When packing for a whole family for a trip, especially if there are a number of children and especially when you have different events to pack for, it’s so important to stay organized. Google Sheets is completely free, and you can make yourself a detailed spreadsheet. Include the different days and events, what each adult or child needs, by name, and check it off first once you buy the

items in one column and check it off again in a different column once it’s packed. Example: Sunday, beach party, Sarah, bathing suit, dress, fancy sandals, bow.

Guys, this was so fun and actually helpful (to me) so I really hope it’s helpful for you too! A personal tip from me to you is to be sure to make LISTS – the portable kind. Write on your phone whenever you think of a small detail that you think you may forget. Don’t leave it to chance. Write it down and check that list when you’re packing! Don’t check it off until it is packed! Examples of things you could easily forget to pack: Siddur, puddle jumpers, brushes, your favorite hair conditioner… This list is going to be different for everyone! I wish you best of luck in your travels – safe, fun, and successful!

Frieda Schweky

Frieda is an event and portrait photographer. Check Frieda out on Instagram @friedaschwekyphoto For photography inquiries or article topic suggestions email her friedaschweky@gmail.com.