QUESTION:

Dear Rabbi Ali,

I’ve been married for 19 years and my marriage has been anything but good. My spouse has caused much heartache and refuses to change. We’ve been arguing about this for so long and I don’t believe he will ever change. I have never spoken to anyone about this and I don’t know where to turn. Do you have any advice for me?

R’ Ali’s Response:

As I mention often, anyone who feels that their marriage is not in a great place should not rely on a response in a short email. Although I try to offer a new perspective for you and the readers, I  mainly offer food for thought, which is in no way, shape, or form a substitute for professional assistance.

I would like to address a few points that you mention that are relevant in many marriages and are not exclusive to those who are struggling.

First is something that I often see when counseling people. Couples wait far too long before they reach out for help. There are a number of reasons for this. The simple reason is that people are embarrassed to let others know that they are struggling. Although this is normal, there’s truly nothing to be embarrassed about. We call our rabbi for assistance with our children, business, or even struggles that we have personally, but with marriage we tend to hold back. People do not reach out for help also be because marriage is a private relationship and we’d rather not let people into our private lives. There are professionals who specialize in this area and keep everything totally confidential, so there is no need to refrain from getting help.

Another reason for waiting to seek help is that we feel maybe things will just work out, or “I’ll figure this one out.” This is also a huge mistake. If you are getting stuck with the same issues over and over again, most likely things will not “just work themselves out.” I’ve spoken to many people who were stuck with the same issue for five to fifty-five years. All they needed was a third party to point out where they were going wrong and to give a few simple tips to get things in order. Just as an example,a woman once called me up in distress and explained to me how overwhelmed she is and how her husband doesn’t help out at all. She drives five kids to school every day and picks them up. Of course, she has asked him to help out and he said he would but never did. I simply advised her to discuss with him the drop off and pickup and what works with her schedule and his. They made simple arrangements. I advised her to let her husband do his job, which most likely entailed letting him oversleep and drive the kids to school late for a day or two. After a week, she had things in order and he offered more help on top of what he was already doing. This is just an example of a couple in distress who needed a few tips to get things in order.

One more reason people refrain from seeking help is plain old stubbornness. Many people will realize that their relationship is not in such a good place, however more times than not, they believe that their spouse is causing all of the problems. They will say things such as, “I don’t need help, you do, go fix yourself.” Or, “Why am I going to couples counseling if I’m not the problem?” Although I do believe that one person can contribute to a bigger percentage of the problems, both spouses are contributing to some part of a relationship issue. This might be a hard pill to swallow but it’s true. Even if you feel as though your spouse is contributing to most of the problems in the relationship (which would need a third party to determine that) you are still part of this relationship and are responsible to do your best to make it work. You may not be at fault, but once you sign up for a marriage you are responsible to make it work. It’s reckless to sit back and wait for your spouse to change or get help. Be proactive, for yourself, your spouse, and your family.

“Misheh-misheh-misheh-misheh-misheh-misheh-misheh-misheh-miiiiishenichnas Adar…”

This familiar jingle begins ringing in our heads already on the first day of the month of Adar, and continues doing so through the celebration of Purim two weeks later (and for some, even beyond…).  The words come from the Gemara (Ta’anit 29a), and instruct that “When Adar enters, we increase our joy.”  Although the festive holiday of Purim is still nearly two weeks away, already on the first of this month, from the moment when Adar arrives, we are told to increase our joy, to be festive and to celebrate.

This “introductory” period of festivity is unique to Purim.  No other holiday requires us to begin feeling joyous before the holiday begins.  True, before Rosh Hashanah, we prepare for a month by reciting special Selihot prayers and making an effort to improve ourselves, but this is done so we are free of sin when we stand trial before Gd on Rosh Hashanah.  There is no mitzvah to begin feeling joyous two weeks before Hanukah, before Pesach, or before Shavuot.  What is unique about Purim that necessitates two weeks of “getting in the mood” by rejoicing?

The IDF’s Pre-Purim Megillah Reading

The source for this concept – beginning the Purim festivities already before Purim – can be found already in Megillat Ester.

Toward the end of the Megillah (9:22), we read of the establishment of the holiday of Purim, and the Megillah mentions that these two days (the 14^th of Adar is most locations, and the 15^th in walled cities) are celebrated during “the month that was transformed for them from anguish to joy, andfrom mourning to a holiday.”  Curiously, the Megillah speaks of the entire month of Adar as having been “transformed” from anguish to festivity. 

This strikes us as odd, because, seemingly, there was only one day – the 14^th of Adar – that was “transformed.”  Haman drew lots to determine the day on which he would annihilate the Jews, and the date chosen was the 14^th of Adar.  This day turned out to be a day of festive celebration, as the day before, the Jews successfully waged war against those in the Persian Empire who set out to exterminate them in accordance with Haman’s edict.  Thus, there was just one day that was “transformed” from calamity to festivity as a result of the Purim miracle – the 14^th of Adar.  Why, then, does the Megillah describe the entire month of Adar as having undergone a transformation?

Even more fascinatingly, this point finds expression in practical halachah.  There is a view that if a person knows ahead of time, before Purim, that he will be unable to read the Megillah or hear it read on Purim day, then he should do so before Purim, as early as the first of Adar.  As the Megillah speaks of the entire month of Adar in the context of the Purim celebration, we can infer that in some sense, the time for celebration begins already with the onset of this month.  Accordingly, one who will, due to circumstances beyond his control, have no possibility of reading or hearing the Megillah on Purim should ensure to read or hear the Megillah before Purim.

Lest one think this discussion is purely hypothetical, such a ruling was given as practical halachah last year, in Adar, 5784 (2024), to our beloved IDF soldiers who were on active duty in Gaza.  Certain units knew ahead of time – or had reason to anticipate – that they would be participating in military operations on Purim, and would thus be unable to read or hear the Megillah on that day.  A number of rabbis instructed them to read the Megillah prior to Purim, following the view discussed above.

This only reinforces our question: What significance is there to the month of Adar?  If the day chosen by Haman for the Jews’ extermination turned into a day of celebration, why is the entire month of Adar affected?

Dividing the Months

The answer is rooted in a deep Kabbalistic concept.  As with all teachings of Kabbalah, the profundity of this concept lies well beyond our grasp, but was can at least understand it on its most basic level.

The Kabbalists taught that Yaakov Avinu and his twin brother, Esav, made an arrangement whereby they divided the twelve months of the year.  Yaakov took for himself the months of Nissan, Iyar and Sivan – months on which we celebrate Pesach, Pesach Sheni (the 14^th of Iyar), and Shavuot.  Esav then took to his side the next three months – Tammuz, Av, and Elul, which have no holidays.  (In fact, Tammuz and Av mark periods of mourning for the destruction of the Bet Hamikdash.  As for Elul, the Kabbalists teach that Yaakov insisted on seizing this month from Esav’s grasp, as otherwise we, his descendants, would be unable to properly prepare for Rosh Hashanah.  Needless to say, this lies beyond the scope of our discussion here.)  The months of Tishreh, Marheshvan, and Kislev – which include Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Sukkot, Simhat Torah, and Hanukah – belong to Yaakov, whereas the next three months – Tevet, Shevat, and Adar – are under Esav’s control.  It thus turns out that six months belong to Yaakov, to the force of sanctity, whereas the other six are under the control of Esav, the forces of impurity.

With this in mind, we easily understand why the Megillah speaks of the “transformation” of the month of Adar.

This month is included in the domain of Esav, Haman’s evil ancestor.  As such, Haman’s edict should have succeeded.  The lots fell on an inauspicious time for the Jewish People, a month which was under the power of Esav, when Am Yisrael was thus vulnerable to Haman’s efforts to destroy it.  In order to rescue His beloved nation, Gd needed to do more than just foil Haman’s scheme.  He first needed to transform the month of Adar, to transfer it, as it will, to Yaakov’s domain.  Gd essentially upended the spiritual makeup of all of creation, shaking the very foundations of the universe so that Adar would no longer be under Esav’s control.

This is why “mishenichnas Adar marbim besimhah” – we begin our joy and festivity already at the beginning of Adar.  The Purim miracle began with Adar’s transformation from a time cut out for disaster to a time of immense spiritual potential.  Before Mordechai’s call to Ester to intervene, before she approached the king unannounced at the risk of death, before the banquet with Haman – the first step was changing the essential nature of the month of Adar, from a month of danger to a month of greatness.

The Backfiring of Haman’s Plot

Among the questions raised about the Purim story is why Haman decided to allocate just a single day for the extermination of the Jews.  Why did he not do what his ideological successor – Hitler, ym”sh – did many centuries later, and devise a program of extermination that would be carried out over the course of an extended period?  Would this not be far easier?  What advantage was there to planning the annihilation for a single day?

One of the commentators offered a creative answer – one which sheds new light on our discussion.  Haman knew Jewish history, and realized that his plan could backfire.  He knew about the miraculous survival of Am Yisrael, and so he himself had some doubts about the prospects of his plot’s success.  And, Haman knew that if his plan backfired, the period that had been designated for the Jews’ annihilation would be celebrated as a holiday.  He therefore designated just a single day – so that in the event that his plan failed, the Jews would not have more than one day to celebrate!

Remarkably, even this aspect of Haman’s nefarious plot backfired sensationally.  He did not take into account the transformation of Adar from a month of tragedy into a month of festivity, such that his edict not only gave us the joyous day of Purim, but an entire month of joy and celebration!

We are Never “Stuck”

The theme of transformation, which features so prominently in the Purim story, can be truly “transformative”for each and every one of us.  When we understand how far Hashem went to protect His beloved nation, changing the order of the cosmos, upending the fundamental nature of an entire month of the Jewish year, we are reminded that anything in our lives – and, collectively, anything affecting the Jewish Nation as a whole – can be transformed.  If Adar can be transformed from a month of calamity to a month of immense joy, then any situation we ever find ourselves in can similarly be transformed.We are never “stuck.”  There is no problem that has no solution.  The fact that we see no solution is owed to our human limitations.  Gd, however, is unlimited, and is thus able to solve any problem in ways that we could never imagine.

When Beneh Yisrael were trapped against the sea, they never imagined that the water would split and then fall back on the Egyptians.  When they found themselves without food, they never imagined nourishing food falling from the sky each morning.  When Haman decreed the Jews’ annihilation, they never imagined that days later he would be hanging from the gallows, and Mordechai would be serving his position as second to the king.

No matter what we are struggling with, and no matter what difficult challenges we jointly face as a nation, either in Israel or here in the Diaspora, we must believe that Hashem has an infinite number of ways to help.  We of course must do whatever we can – just as Ester was called upon to approach King Ahashverosh – but with complete faith in Hashem’s unlimited capabilities.

May the merit of our faith and hope bring the transformation of all our sorrow to joy, all our struggles to triumph, and all our anguish to festivity, and the arrival of our final redemption, speedily, and in our times, amen.

Purim is a time when what is normally hidden away gets revealed, and we put aside our external facades for a bit. What is the underlying lesson of this holiday, and why do we celebrate it every year?

Rabbi Yehuda Beyda

Jews don’t have holidays.

That is to say, we don’t simply commemorate historical events with vacations and parties. Jewish history is filled with events both tragic and wonderful, and with very few exceptions, they are hardly even remembered today. Though our calendar is replete with days that are anchored in events from ancient times, none of those are simply commemorative. On Pesah, for instance, we do not merely memorialize the Exodus from Egypt, rather we reaffirm our unique identity as Hashem’s Firstborn. On Shavuotwe rededicate ourselves to the study and upholding of the Torah. And so, it is with every one of our holy days.

An Unusual Holiday

This pattern seems to break when it comes to Purim. We read the Megillah, where we find a long story of hashgaha (Divine intervention) and nes nistar (hidden miracles). A terrible danger was averted in a miraculous fashion, and the nation was saved. We truly have a reason to celebrate. But why celebrate every year? There were other times when the entire nation was in existential danger. Though the very Heavens opened, and the angels’ song wiped away our enemies, we do not commemorate the destruction of Sanheriv’s armies, for example. What was unique about the miracle of Purim that deserved a permanent entry into the Jewish calendar?

Turnabout Is Fair Play

Perhaps the most unique aspect of the miracle of Purim was the large number of reversals that occurred. Being taken by force to live with a non-Jew was a personal tragedy for Esther the tzadeket that turned into a national salvation. Haman’s oversized ego caused him to build the oversized gallows. His ego was partly to blame for his getting strung up on those same gallows. The appointment of Mordechai the Torah Sage to adjudicate Persian disputes at the king’s gate turned into an opportunity for him to uncover Bigtan and Teresh’s assassination plot. And there were many other such instances of “v’nahafoch hu,” complete turnabouts, culminating in the greatest reversal of them all – Haman’s mobilization of the anti-Semitic army gave rise to its own annihilation. The story of the Megillah is woven throughout with the “v’nahafoch hu” theme.

Let us examine this a bit more. The Gemara (Megillah 12a) gives two reasons that we deserved Haman’s decree of annihilation. The first was in the days of Nebuchadnezzar. The king erected a gigantic statue of himself and declared that all his subjects must pay him homage by coming and bowing to his image. The vast majority of Jews in that time decided to obey the king’s decree rather than provoke his anger. They felt it was better to just try to blend in. By doing so, Hashem’s anger was provoked, instead.

The second event that brought down Heavenly judgment was recorded at the start of the Megillah. King Ahashverosh threw a lavish 180-day party, with all of Shushan invited. The Jews of the city, not wanting to be left out, came and enjoyed – against the express warnings of Mordechai. Hashem saw us feasting while the king (erroneously) celebrated the end to Jewish hopes and decreed that we be wiped out.

The common thread between these two events is that we chose to go along with the Gentiles, to blend in and be good citizens. We just wanted to get along with our new neighbors and show the government that we will not be any trouble. And that is exactly what nearly brought calamity.

The Purpose of Galut

Hashem tells us through the words of the prophet (Yehezkel 20: 32-33), “This that you imagine, that you will (now that the Bet Hamikdash was destroyed) become like one of the other nations, will not be. Rather I will rule over you with power and with fury.” After we were exiled from our land, many among us believed that it meant the end of the Jewish Nation as the unique ambassadors of Hashem in this world. We felt that it was time to fade into the background and become a nation like all the others. So, we bowed to the idol. We attended the party. We became just one more nation. Hashem, however, would not tolerate that.

The Midrash(Esther Rabbah 6:7) states, “Hashem said to the Jews: you wept that you were orphans with no father (Eicha 5:3), therefore the one whom I will choose to deliver you [Esther] will have no parents.” The choice of an orphan to be the one to bring deliverance was specifically meant as a rebuke to our statement that “we have no Father.” Even when cast out of our land, our Temple in ruins, we always have our Father in Heaven. The purpose of Galut was not to cast us away, but to teach us this lesson precisely.

Our identity as Hashem’s personal representatives is not tied to any place or time. We do not need to be in Hashem’s house in order to spread awareness of His existence. We can be at the opposite end of the world, deep in the Persian Empire, and still live lives of holiness. When we tried to blend in, Hashem sent us the decree of Haman, which singled out every Jew and targeted him for destruction. Hashem was ruling over us with power and fury, as promised.

Message Received

Rabbi Shlomo Alkabetz explains in Manot Halevi (Esther 8:17) that the rejoicing of the Jews when hearing word of their deliverance was tied to their mourning that occurred earlier in the story. Earlier (4:3) it states that “there was great mourning for the Jews,” and at the end it says “happiness and rejoicing for the Jews.” The evil decree was targeted at Jews. As such, we could have “renounced our citizenship” completely and given up our Jewish identity. It might have saved us from annihilation. Instead, we mourned as Jews. We took to heart the message that Hashem sent us and doubled down on our Jewish identity. Then we merited the salvation, and were privileged to rejoice again in our Jewishness.

By highlighting our Jewishness rather than hiding it, we achieved complete teshuva for the previous errors of trying to blend in. We got the message that our job is far from over, and we rededicated ourselves to keeping the Torah even without the Temple. That was how we merited the miracle of v’nahafoch hu – the roles reversed and the persecuted were able to rule over their oppressors (Esther 9:1).

The Lasting Impact

Now we see the unique lasting power of Purim. We are not merely celebrating a miraculous deliverance. Purim does not just commemorate a national victory. Purim was a turning point in our history – just like the events marked by all the other holidays. During the Purim story was when we fully realized the unique mission of the Jewish Nation. Even dispersed among the nations, we do not lose our national identity or our national mission. It is our job to hold our heads high and to proudly show our Jewishness. We do not pay homage to the frivolities of the other nations, and we do not join in their empty celebrations. We follow a different Leader, and it is our job to light the way for others.

May we all be zoche to carry out our mission with clarity and with pride, and to live a life as true emissaries of Hashem. In that merit, we will be able to return to our Land and to our home.

Rabbi Zamir Cohen

The throne of King Xerxes (Ahashverosh, or Ahasuerus) was in a city referred to by the Megillah as Shushan, situated in what is today western Iranand known in Farsi by the name Shush, and in English, Susa.

Shushan and “Shushan the Capital”

The Megillah’s references to this city can be more clearly understood in light of archeological findings. The Megillah sometimes speaks of the city simply as “Shushan,” and in other instances, as “Shushan habirah – Shushan the capital.” In Tanach and rabbinic writings, the word “birah” means a high place, a fortress or a palace. (Over the years, this word came to mean “capital city,” the seat of government.) In the Megillah, the expression “Shushan habirah” indicates the area where the king’s palace was located, as noted by the Ibn Ezra (Esther 1:2): “in Shushan habirah – where the palace was.” Today, we would call this area the “Shushan palace,” or the “Shushan fortress.”

Hebrew language expert Abba Ben-David explains:

Shushan had two parts: the city and the fortress. The king’s palace and the surrounding compound was called “Shushan the fortress,” and the rest of the city was called “Shushan the city.” Mordechai would come and go from the city to the royal compound, and from the royal compound to the city. The city was separate from the royal compound.

Shushan the fortress contained the royal palaces, the primary and secondary harems, government buildings, and more. The expression “Shushan habirah” also teaches us that the king’s palace was situated on a high plateau. Indeed, Ahasuerus’ palace in ancient Shushan was built on a high and wide plateau which is still in existence today. The sages in the Talmud (Megillah 15a)tell us that there was an arkuma d’maya (river, or canal) around the Shushan fortress. This detail, too, was discovered in contemporary archeological excavations, as Professor Elia Samuele Artom (1887-1965) explains: “Based on excavations made in the area of ancient Shushan, a river separated the city from the fortress, and the king’s palace was in a high place in the royal compound.”

According to an accepted tradition described by Rabbi Benjamin of Tudela in his book, the grave of the prophet Daniel is in Shushan, in a special edifice that is known even today.

The Splendor of the King’s Palace

The Megillah also presents a detailed description of the king’s palace. These details have been uncovered in archaeological excavations and described by scholars in the field: 

The author of the Megillah was thoroughly acquainted with the Shushan fortress and all the sections of the royal compound, such as the outer courtyard, the inner courtyard, the royal palace, and the pavilion that stood on columns and was open to the inner courtyard, as excavations conducted here by the French rediscovered. (Encyclopedia Hebraica, vol. 5, p. 101)

The Megillah (Esther 1:6) devotes special attention to the king’s orchard, describing the grandeur of the garden grounds: “There were spreads of white, fine cotton, and blue, embroidered with cords of linen and purple on silver rods and marble columns; couches of gold and silver on a pavement of green, white, shell, and onyx marble.” The Persian king surrounded himself with fancy furniture, fine fabrics, and expensive utensils.

This description corresponds to the Greek historian Herodotus’ description of the luxuries with which Ahasuerus surrounded himself. As scholars have noted (Peneh Olam HaMikra, p. 184):

The description in Megilat Ester of silver rods, gold and silver couches, and a large variety of utensils displayed at Ahasuerus’ banquet, fits the description by Herodotus of the numerous silver and gold vessels left behind by the Persians when they fled from the Greeks during the time of Xerxes: “They spread throughout the camp and found tents decorated with gold and silver, beds coated with gold and silver, gold cups and goblets and other drinking vessels.” Herodotus goes on to say that Xerxes’ own home utensils fell into the hands the Greek commander, and they included utensils, beds and tables of gold and silver, just as is described in the Megillah.

The Banquet Without Coercion

“And the drinking was according to law, with no coercion” (Esther 1:8). This means that the king enacted a law that no person would be forced or pressured to drink.

A contemporary person reads this verse and wonders: Is it necessary to legislate a special law against forcing someone to drink wine?

The Midrash explains that before this great banquet, in which King Ahasuerus sought to reach out to the citizens of his kingdom, the king repealed an ancient royal practice that had been such an integral feature of the palace banquets that the king felt compelled to enact a new law to abolish it.

According to the conventional protocol, at the beginning of the banquet, a giant golden cup filled with strong, unprocessed wine was brought to enhance the merriment of the ministers and courtiers. The chief butler was authorized by law to choose several guests from among the kingdom’s dignitaries, and force them to drink a full glass. The goal was to intoxicate these guests and get them to act mindlessly at the banquet, so everyone else would laugh at them and make them the butt of their jokes. The unfortunate individual who was chosen could not refuse, and he had to drink the entire glass even if he would become sick or even die as a result.

In the words of the Midrash (Midrash Esther, 1; Yalkut Shimoni, Esther, 1048):

This was a custom in Persia: They had a huge cup that held 30 shmatziyot [a Persian volume measurement], which was called a pitka. Each person had to drink from it even if he would die or lose his sanity as a result. The one who was the chief butler would be made rich by the attending Persian dignitaries, who would hint to him [not to face them with the large cup during the banquet] and give him several dinars of gold so he would not offer them the drink. Ahasuerus did not bring this cup to his banquet, and said instead that whoever wants to drink can drink.

The meaning of the words in the Megillah, “And the drinking was according to law, with no coercion” is that the drinking was in accordance with the new law, such that no one was coerced to drink.

Archeological excavations conducted in the Achaemenid Empire palaces have unearthed huge gold goblets in strange shapes, and everyone who saw them wondered, what kind of person drinks from such a giant wine goblet? And even if there was a strange person who would do this, he certainly would not be a prominent figure – so why would it be made from gold? It appears that these goblets were used for the cruel practice of Persian kings in their parties, with the exception of this one banquet hosted by Ahasuerus, as our sages report.

The Greek writer Aristophanes, who lived sometime after the end of the Persian era, describes the Persian banquets as follows: “They would force the guests to drink unprocessed, sweet wine from gold cups.” He does not specify the huge size of the gold cups which have recently been unearthed and can be seen by our very eyes. Most likely, as many years had passed since the downfall Persian kingdom, he was not aware of this detail.

Rabbi Yehuda Finchas

Pikuach Nefesh for a Woman in Labor

Sandra was extremely nervous as her due date fell on Shabbat. “Rabbi, what do I do? How do I get to the hospital on Shabbat? Sammy must come with me – is that okay?”

In the last column, I explained that according to Sephardic poskim,pikuach nefesh (saving a life) should ideally be carried out by Jews rather than non-Jews. Whereas the Ashkenazi minhag is to use a non-Jew or to use a shinui (a modification of the usual practice) whenever possible, if this will not cause any delay or any endangerment to the patient.

ShulchanAruch‘s Ruling on a Yoledet

However, all agree that with a yoledet (a woman in labor), a shinui should be employed whenever possible. As ruled in the Shulchan Aruch (O.C. 330:1): “A woman in labor is considered like a choleh she-yesh bo sakana (a sick person whose life is in danger), and Shabbat should be desecrated for all her needs. One may summon an expert midwife from afar to deliver her baby for her, or even light a candle for her, even if she is blind. Nevertheless, whatever can be performed with a shinui should be done by using a shinui.”

Magid Mishnah’s Explanation

Hacham Ovadia, zt”l,  (Hazon Ovadya, Shabbat Vol.3 p. 333) explains that this is based on the ruling of the Magid Mishnah (Hilchot Shabbat 2:11): From the Rambam’s language, it appears that a choleh she-yesh bo sakana does not require a shinui – only a yoledet does. The Rambam writes, “The rule is that Shabbat regarding a choleh she-yesh bo sakana is like a weekday in all matters.” The reason for this distinction between a yoledet and a choleh she-yesh bo sakana is because the labor pains of a yoledet are part of a natural process, and not even one in a thousand women dies in childbirth. Therefore, the Sages were stringent in requiring a shinui whenever possible for a yoledet, but they were not as stringent for a choleh.

When Is a Shinui Necessary?

Hacham Ovadia (Halachot Olam, Vol. 4, p. 140) explains that a shinui is only necessary when it will not cause any delay or endanger the woman or baby. If there is a risk, a shinui should not be employed. Therefore, when not urgent, it is preferable to go to the hospital with a non-Jewish driver. If this is not possible, a Jewish driver is permitted. Similarly, any preparations that can be made before Shabbat should be done before Shabbat (Hazon Ovadya, Shabbat, Vol. 3, p. 320). However, there is no need to arrange to sleep near the hospital before Shabbat (Halichot Olam, Vol. 4, p. 141).

Permitted Actions During Labor

Sammy can accompany Sandra to the hospital (Hazon Ovadya, ibid). In fact, he should accompany her even if she did not specifically request him to come (Yabia Omer, Vol. 9, OC 108, #179). This will provide her with yishuv hada’at (peace of mind). Even if violations of Shabbat are necessary, they may be permitted due to the principle of yesuvei da’ata – reassuring a woman in labor (Shulchan Aruch, O.C. 330). This is based on the Gemara (Shabbat 128)that allows for actions to calm and reassure a yoledet, ensuring that all her needs are addressed. For example, it may be permissible to switch on a light so that the medical staff can properly see what they are doing (this is allowed even if the woman is blind). Similarly, it is permissible to give her an epidural catheter and administer medications through it (Hazon Ovadya, ibid, p. 322).

Conclusion

In conclusion, a woman in labor is considered to be a case of pikuach nefesh, and Shabbat should be desecrated for all her needs. Sammy can certainly accompany Sandra to the hospital. However, whenever possible, any preparations that can be made before Shabbat should be completed in advance. Additionally, if it will not cause any delay or endangerment, actions should be performed with a shinui or by a non-Jew.Rabbi Yehuda Finchas is a recognized expert, lecturer, and author on Medical Halacha. He is the head of the Torat Habayit Medical Halacha Institute. His latest book is “Brain Death in Halacha and the Tower of Babel Syndrome.” To contact Rabbi Finchas, please email rabbi@torathabayit.com.