74.8 F
New York
Monday, September 15, 2025
spot_img
Home Blog Page 20

The Month of Transformation

“Misheh-misheh-misheh-misheh-misheh-misheh-misheh-misheh-miiiiishenichnas Adar…”

This familiar jingle begins ringing in our heads already on the first day of the month of Adar, and continues doing so through the celebration of Purim two weeks later (and for some, even beyond…).  The words come from the Gemara (Ta’anit 29a), and instruct that “When Adar enters, we increase our joy.”  Although the festive holiday of Purim is still nearly two weeks away, already on the first of this month, from the moment when Adar arrives, we are told to increase our joy, to be festive and to celebrate.

This “introductory” period of festivity is unique to Purim.  No other holiday requires us to begin feeling joyous before the holiday begins.  True, before Rosh Hashanah, we prepare for a month by reciting special Selihot prayers and making an effort to improve ourselves, but this is done so we are free of sin when we stand trial before Gd on Rosh Hashanah.  There is no mitzvah to begin feeling joyous two weeks before Hanukah, before Pesach, or before Shavuot.  What is unique about Purim that necessitates two weeks of “getting in the mood” by rejoicing?

The IDF’s Pre-Purim Megillah Reading

The source for this concept – beginning the Purim festivities already before Purim – can be found already in Megillat Ester.

Toward the end of the Megillah (9:22), we read of the establishment of the holiday of Purim, and the Megillah mentions that these two days (the 14th of Adar is most locations, and the 15th in walled cities) are celebrated during “the month that was transformed for them from anguish to joy, andfrom mourning to a holiday.”  Curiously, the Megillah speaks of the entire month of Adar as having been “transformed” from anguish to festivity. 

This strikes us as odd, because, seemingly, there was only one day – the 14th of Adar – that was “transformed.”  Haman drew lots to determine the day on which he would annihilate the Jews, and the date chosen was the 14th of Adar.  This day turned out to be a day of festive celebration, as the day before, the Jews successfully waged war against those in the Persian Empire who set out to exterminate them in accordance with Haman’s edict.  Thus, there was just one day that was “transformed” from calamity to festivity as a result of the Purim miracle – the 14th of Adar.  Why, then, does the Megillah describe the entire month of Adar as having undergone a transformation?

Even more fascinatingly, this point finds expression in practical halachah.  There is a view that if a person knows ahead of time, before Purim, that he will be unable to read the Megillah or hear it read on Purim day, then he should do so before Purim, as early as the first of Adar.  As the Megillah speaks of the entire month of Adar in the context of the Purim celebration, we can infer that in some sense, the time for celebration begins already with the onset of this month.  Accordingly, one who will, due to circumstances beyond his control, have no possibility of reading or hearing the Megillah on Purim should ensure to read or hear the Megillah before Purim.

Lest one think this discussion is purely hypothetical, such a ruling was given as practical halachah last year, in Adar, 5784 (2024), to our beloved IDF soldiers who were on active duty in Gaza.  Certain units knew ahead of time – or had reason to anticipate – that they would be participating in military operations on Purim, and would thus be unable to read or hear the Megillah on that day.  A number of rabbis instructed them to read the Megillah prior to Purim, following the view discussed above.

This only reinforces our question: What significance is there to the month of Adar?  If the day chosen by Haman for the Jews’ extermination turned into a day of celebration, why is the entire month of Adar affected?

Dividing the Months

The answer is rooted in a deep Kabbalistic concept.  As with all teachings of Kabbalah, the profundity of this concept lies well beyond our grasp, but was can at least understand it on its most basic level.

The Kabbalists taught that Yaakov Avinu and his twin brother, Esav, made an arrangement whereby they divided the twelve months of the year.  Yaakov took for himself the months of Nissan, Iyar and Sivan – months on which we celebrate Pesach, Pesach Sheni (the 14th of Iyar), and Shavuot.  Esav then took to his side the next three months – Tammuz, Av, and Elul, which have no holidays.  (In fact, Tammuz and Av mark periods of mourning for the destruction of the Bet Hamikdash.  As for Elul, the Kabbalists teach that Yaakov insisted on seizing this month from Esav’s grasp, as otherwise we, his descendants, would be unable to properly prepare for Rosh Hashanah.  Needless to say, this lies beyond the scope of our discussion here.)  The months of Tishreh, Marheshvan, and Kislev – which include Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Sukkot, Simhat Torah, and Hanukah – belong to Yaakov, whereas the next three months – Tevet, Shevat, and Adar – are under Esav’s control.  It thus turns out that six months belong to Yaakov, to the force of sanctity, whereas the other six are under the control of Esav, the forces of impurity.

With this in mind, we easily understand why the Megillah speaks of the “transformation” of the month of Adar.

This month is included in the domain of Esav, Haman’s evil ancestor.  As such, Haman’s edict should have succeeded.  The lots fell on an inauspicious time for the Jewish People, a month which was under the power of Esav, when Am Yisrael was thus vulnerable to Haman’s efforts to destroy it.  In order to rescue His beloved nation, Gd needed to do more than just foil Haman’s scheme.  He first needed to transform the month of Adar, to transfer it, as it will, to Yaakov’s domain.  Gd essentially upended the spiritual makeup of all of creation, shaking the very foundations of the universe so that Adar would no longer be under Esav’s control.

This is why “mishenichnas Adar marbim besimhah” – we begin our joy and festivity already at the beginning of Adar.  The Purim miracle began with Adar’s transformation from a time cut out for disaster to a time of immense spiritual potential.  Before Mordechai’s call to Ester to intervene, before she approached the king unannounced at the risk of death, before the banquet with Haman – the first step was changing the essential nature of the month of Adar, from a month of danger to a month of greatness.

The Backfiring of Haman’s Plot

Among the questions raised about the Purim story is why Haman decided to allocate just a single day for the extermination of the Jews.  Why did he not do what his ideological successor – Hitler, ym”sh – did many centuries later, and devise a program of extermination that would be carried out over the course of an extended period?  Would this not be far easier?  What advantage was there to planning the annihilation for a single day?

One of the commentators offered a creative answer – one which sheds new light on our discussion.  Haman knew Jewish history, and realized that his plan could backfire.  He knew about the miraculous survival of Am Yisrael, and so he himself had some doubts about the prospects of his plot’s success.  And, Haman knew that if his plan backfired, the period that had been designated for the Jews’ annihilation would be celebrated as a holiday.  He therefore designated just a single day – so that in the event that his plan failed, the Jews would not have more than one day to celebrate!

Remarkably, even this aspect of Haman’s nefarious plot backfired sensationally.  He did not take into account the transformation of Adar from a month of tragedy into a month of festivity, such that his edict not only gave us the joyous day of Purim, but an entire month of joy and celebration!

We are Never “Stuck”

The theme of transformation, which features so prominently in the Purim story, can be truly “transformative”for each and every one of us.  When we understand how far Hashem went to protect His beloved nation, changing the order of the cosmos, upending the fundamental nature of an entire month of the Jewish year, we are reminded that anything in our lives – and, collectively, anything affecting the Jewish Nation as a whole – can be transformed.  If Adar can be transformed from a month of calamity to a month of immense joy, then any situation we ever find ourselves in can similarly be transformed.We are never “stuck.”  There is no problem that has no solution.  The fact that we see no solution is owed to our human limitations.  Gd, however, is unlimited, and is thus able to solve any problem in ways that we could never imagine.

When Beneh Yisrael were trapped against the sea, they never imagined that the water would split and then fall back on the Egyptians.  When they found themselves without food, they never imagined nourishing food falling from the sky each morning.  When Haman decreed the Jews’ annihilation, they never imagined that days later he would be hanging from the gallows, and Mordechai would be serving his position as second to the king.

No matter what we are struggling with, and no matter what difficult challenges we jointly face as a nation, either in Israel or here in the Diaspora, we must believe that Hashem has an infinite number of ways to help.  We of course must do whatever we can – just as Ester was called upon to approach King Ahashverosh – but with complete faith in Hashem’s unlimited capabilities.

May the merit of our faith and hope bring the transformation of all our sorrow to joy, all our struggles to triumph, and all our anguish to festivity, and the arrival of our final redemption, speedily, and in our times, amen.

Once Upon a Thyme – Loaded Beef Nachos

Adina Yaakov

LOADED BEEF NACHOS

Ground beef is one of my favorite protein options. Meatballs, burgers, meatloaf, stuffed peppers, or tacos, its versatility is endless. One Taco Tuesday we ran out of shells halfway through dinner and found lime-flavored tortilla chips in our pantry. We then created deconstructed tacos with the remaining meat, layering it on top of tortilla chips and topping it with chopped vegetables. We have made it many times since then, and it has become a menu staple.

  • 2 lb. ground beef
  • 1 tbsp allspice
  • 1 onion, diced
  • 3 tbsp canola oil
  • 3 cloves crushed garlic
  • 1 tbsp kosher salt
  • 2 tbsp fresh parsley
  • ⅓ cup diced red onion
  • ½ cup scallions, sliced
  • 1 red tomato, diced
  • 1 jalapeño, sliced
  • 1 bag lime tortilla chips
  • 1 lime, cut into quarters
  • 1 cup canned black beans
  • Pinch of flaky Maldon salt
  • Garlic mayo ingredients:
  • 1 tbsp olive oil
  • 1 cup light mayo
  • 1 tbsp mustard
  • 3 cloves minced garlic
  • 1 tbsp salt
  • ¼ cup lemon juice
  • ½ tsp black pepper
  • 1 tbsp nutritional yeast (optional)
  • 2 tbsp honey or 1 packet artificial sweetener
  1. In a large sauté pan, heat 2 tbsp oil and add diced onions. Cook for 5-10 minutes until golden.
  2. Add ground beef, allspice, garlic, and 1 tbsp kosher salt and cook until browned, using a masher tool to get beef chunks as fine as possible.
  3. To make the garlic mayo, combine ingredients in a jar. Shake until smooth. (Dressing can be stored in refrigerator for up to 2 weeks.)
  4. To assemble, layer tortilla chips on the bottom of a wide lipped platter. Layer the ground beef, then black beans, chopped tomatoes, scallions, and finish off with a drizzle of garlic mayo.
  5. Garnish with parsley and flaky Maldon salt.

The Lighter Side – February 2025

Frozen Windows

Wife texts husband on a cold winter morning: “Windows frozen, won’t open.”
Husband texts back: “Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and then gently tap edges with a hammer.”
The wife texts back 10 minutes later: “Computer really messed up now.”

Gladys T.

The Duck at the Pharmacy

A duck walks into a pharmacy and asks for some lip balm.

The pharmacist asks, “Will that be cash or credit?”

The duck replies, “Just put it on my bill!”

Morris S.

A Big Catch

An Israeli man named Itzik was returning home from a fishing trip at the Sea of Galilee. He was flying down the highway, going way too fast. He felt secure amongst a pack of cars, all traveling at the same speed. However, it wasn’t long before he saw flashing lights in his review mirror and pulled over.

The officer handed him the citation, received his signature, and was about to walk away when Itzik stopped him. “Officer, I know I was speeding,” he started, “but I don’t think it’s fair. There were plenty of other cars around me going just as fast, so why did I get the ticket?”

The officer tilted his head and gestured at the fishing gear stowed on the passenger seat. “I see you like fishing,” he said.

“Umm, yes I do… so?” Itzik replied, confused.

The officer grinned as he turned to leave. “Ever catch ALL the fish?”

Michael F.

Fish Cakes

Little Moe walks into Yossi’s Kosher Fish Mart with a fish under his arm.

“Do you have any fishcakes?” Little Moe asks.

“Yes, of course,” says Yossi, the store owner.

“Great,” replies Little Moe, nodding at the fish under his arm. “It’s his birthday today!”

Max C.

The Speeding Granny

A police officer pulls over an elderly lady for speeding.

He asks, “Do you know how fast you were going?”

The granny replies, “Of course I do. That’s how I got here so fast!”

The officer chuckles and says, “Why were you speeding?”

She responds, “Because I wanted to get there before I forgot where I was going!”

Mary G.

The Speeding Ticket

A man is speeding down the highway when he sees flashing lights in his rearview mirror.
He pulls over, and a state trooper approaches his window.
The trooper says, “I’ve been waiting for you all day.”
The man replies, “Well, I got here as fast as I could!”
The trooper, trying to suppress a smile, asks for the man’s license and registration.
“Why were you speeding?” the trooper asks.
“Officer, I’m late for work.”
“Oh, and what do you do?”
“I’m a juggler in a circus.”
“A juggler? Well, that’s interesting. How about you show me what you do?”
The man agrees and gets out of the car, opens his trunk, and takes out some juggling balls.
He begins juggling right there on the side of the road.
Just then, another car speeds by, and the driver looks over, sees the juggling act, and says to himself, “I’m never drinking again! Look at the sobriety test they’ve got now!”

Mark G.

Accounting Worries

David just received his accounting designation and he was looking for a job. He was being interviewed by Alan Goldfarb, a partner at the three-man firm Goldfarb, Applebaum, and Goldman. Alan came across as a very nervous man.

“I need someone with an accounting degree,” Goldfarb said. “But mainly, I’m looking for someone to do my worrying for me.”

“Excuse me?” the young accountant said.

“I worry about a lot of things,” Goldfarb said. “But I don’t want to have to worry about money. Your job will be to take all the money worries off my back.”

“I see,” David said. “And how much does the job pay?”

“I will start you at ninety-five thousand dollars.”

“Ninety-five thousand dollars!” David exclaimed. “How can such a small business afford a sum like that?”

“That,” Goldfarb said, “is your first worry.”

Karen Z.

Bus or Bust

Chaim Yankel was visiting Washington, DC, for the first time. Unable to locate the Capitol, he asked a police officer for directions, “Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Capitol building?”

The officer replied, “Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus. It’ll take you right there.”

Three hours later, the police officer returned to the same area and, sure enough, Chaim Yankel was still waiting at the same bus stop.

The officer got out of his car and said, “Excuse me, but to get to the Capitol building, I said to wait here for the number 54 bus, and that was three hours ago! Why are you still waiting?”

Chaim Yankel replied, “Don’t worry, officer, it won’t be long now. The 45th bus just went by!”

Mordechai M.

The Forgetful Waiter

A man goes to a fancy restaurant and orders a steak.
After waiting a long time, the waiter finally brings it out.
“I’m sorry for the delay,” the waiter says. “Would you like anything else with your steak?”
The man replies, “How about a few kind words?”
The waiter thinks for a moment, then leans down and whispers, “Don’t eat the steak.”

Lawrence H.

The Laziest Man in the World

A competition is held to find the laziest man in the world.

Three finalists are chosen and brought on stage.

The first man is asked, “Why do you think you’re the laziest?”

He says, “Because I’m too lazy to answer that question.”

The second man is asked the same question. He responds, “I’m too lazy to even think about answering.”

The third man doesn’t say anything, just lies on the floor, holding his hand out.

When asked what he’s doing, he says, “Waiting for someone to give me the prize.”

Jake K.

Baby Sister

Little Moishe was used to being the center of attention, so understandably he was a little more than jealous of his new baby sister Rivka. Moishe’s parents sat him down and said that now that Rivkah was getting older, the house was too small and they’d have to move.

“It’s no use,” Moishe said. “She’s crawling now. She’ll probably just follow us.”

Elana B.

Fire Drill

Joey and his classmates at the Talmud Torah had just finished a tour of the local fire hall.

Before each student could leave, the fire chief quizzed him. He asked little Joey, “What do you do if your clothes catch on fire?”

Joey replied promptly, “I don’t put them on!”

Isaac A.

Riddles – February 2025

RIDDLE: What Am I?

Submitted by: Jesse L.

I speak without a mouth and hear without ears. I have no body, but I come alive when the wind blows. What am I?

Last Month’s Riddle: What Am I?

I was known to philosophers a thousand years ago, I have numbers all in a line, and I can tell you if rain will turn to snow. What am I?

Solution:  A thermometer!

Solved by: Sarah Shweky, Mary G., The Dwek Family, Marty Chemtob, The Big Cheese, Raymond Shweky, Jack Chehebar, Fortune Cohen, Ellen Grazi, and The Shmulster. 

JUNIOR RIDDLE:  A Sinking Feeling

Submitted by: Lori P.

You see a boat filled with 100 people. A minute later, you look again and there isn’t a single person on board. If the boat didn’t sink, how is that possible?

Last Month’s Junior Riddle: Time to Chime

A clock chimes 5 times in 4 seconds. How many times will it chime in 10 seconds?

Solution: The clock will chime 12 times in 10 seconds.

Solved by: Sarah Shweky, Raymond Shweky, Rania Joy Chehebar, Eli Beda, M. Gemal, Al Anteby, Sophie Tawil, Big Mike, and The Shmulster.

Living Emunah – Earn A Title

Rabbi David Ashear

If a person sets out to do a mitzvah and is confronted with obstacles, his natural reaction might be, Doesn’t Hashem want me to do this mitzvah? Why is He making it so hard for me? For example, a person is out of town and wants to pray with a minyan. He finds out there is a shul about 15 minutes from his hotel that starts prayers at 7am. The next day he wakes up early and arrives to the shul on time. Then someone tells him, “We don’t use this shul during the week anymore. There is another shul about 20 minutes in the other direction, which starts at 7:45am.” The man could think, I already went out of my way to do something good. Why didn’t Hashem let me find out about the other minyan initially? Why did it have to be so much trouble to do this mitzvah?

This is the natural reaction. What is our reaction supposed to be?

The Mesillat Yesharim (Chapter 19) states that those who really know are happy when they find out that a mitzvah they want to do became more difficult. Now they are able to show how much they value the mitzvah and how much they really love Hashem.

The sefer BaYam Derech adds that when someone does a mitzvah that requires self-sacrifice, his status regarding that mitzvah, becomes elevated. From then on, every time he does that mitzvah, even if it is easy, his rewards are much greater, because he has already shown how much he values it.

For example, if a person is in medical school studying to become a doctor, he might reach a point where he already knows exactly how to treat patients and he is ready to practice. However, as long as he is still a student, he cannot charge for his services. The moment he is granted the title “Doctor,” he can start charging for the exact same service. It is the title itself that elevates him. When a person sacrifices for a mitzvah, his title in that mitzvah changes, and he is now rewarded much more for anything he does in that area.

Yosef HaTzaddik earned the title Tzaddik by overcoming one awkward and difficult dilemma, and that title remains with him forever. It is a major zechut to be given an opportunity to do a mitzvah with self-sacrifice and to earn a title.

In Parashat Vayeira, when Avraham was in pain from his brit milah, Hashem made it the hottest day in history to ensure that Avraham could rest instead of having to tend to guests. Then Hashem saw how much Avraham was yearning to have guests, despite his pain, so He sent angels that appeared to be human beings to him. One of those angels was sent to eventually heal him.

The question could be asked: If Hashem felt bad for Avraham and wanted to give him the opportunity to take care of guests, why did He not just heal Avraham first, and make it easier for him? Why didn’t Hashem just make it cooler outside and send regular people? The answer is, since Avraham had such a yearning to do the mitzvah, Hashem gave him the greatest gift of all – an opportunity to receive a new title in hachnassat orchim – inviting guests, to do the mitzvah with self-sacrifice that would in turn earn Avraham unfathomable rewards in that area. Indeed, Avraham became our example of how to do hachanassat orchim.

When a mitzvah becomes difficult, it is a present from Hashem. If we understand how to view Hashem with the proper perspective, our attitudes will change, and we will embrace all of the opportunities that He gives us.

Common Pitfalls for First-Time Homebuyers

Karen Behfar

Common Pitfalls for First-Time Homebuyers

For many first-time home buyers, owning their own house is a lifelong dream. Achieving this goal means that there will be some new experiences – and some may not be pleasant.

Buying a house can be an overwhelming experience. Understanding the basics of home-buying and asking the right questions to the right people will help you to have a smooth and hassle-free home-buying experience.

Here is a list of first-time buyers’ common mistakes:

Hesitating to ask for information or for clarity – Ask questions. It is reasonable to have a lot of questions and it is always best to be as informed as possible before making any major decision.

Taking out a bank loan for the down payment – Down payments can be from the buyer’s savings, from gifts, etc. However, taking out a loan to cover the down payment is not advisable. A downpayment is usually financed by money the buyer has saved and set aside for this purpose.

Failing to build or work on the credit score – It is important to have a good credit score because it is a factor that will determine credit-worthiness, rates, etc. This helps lenders decide if the buyer is qualified to take a mortgage and how much the interest will be.

Not getting a mortgage pre-approval before shopping for a home – This is critical! I can’t stress enough how important it is to get a pre-approval before you start looking to buy. Many times, couples tell me that their family is going to help them so they should start looking. Although I definitely value that, I really try to push them to speak to a mortgage broker and run all the numbers because there aren’t so many homes on the market within their price range. Many times, the inventory is limited and many buyers are also looking for a deal. So, when buyers finally find a home that they like, it’s very stressful to scramble to get a pre-approval at the last minute. Things can go wrong.

For example, the co-signer or the person giving the down payment is not ready with the money. Getting through the pre-approval is crucial for determining how much you can borrow, and it is important to just be ready to be able to buy. Home searching will be more focused and successful if the buyer looks for a home that is within budget, which will be determined by the mortgage that can be taken out.

Being uninformed about the closing costs – Closing costs include local property taxes, fees related to the loan, and title insurance. It’s a separate fee then the down payment. Many do seller’s concession and add it to the closing costs.

Lack or absence of negotiating closing costs – Closing costs are always open to negotiation. Having an expert real estate agent can be a big help in minimizing the costs.

Not considering the monthly mortgage payment before making an offer – It is wise that the mortgage payment should not consume more than a third of the buyer’s income, to make sure that enough funds are still left for emergencies and for leisure.

Lacking knowledge about interest rates – Even small changes in interest rates can affect a home’s affordability. Make sure that you are in contact with a mortgage broker.

Taking rejection personally – Buyers should know that home buying is sort of like a numbers game – buyers may not always get the first home they make an offer on or even the tenth home. Be ready and be patient.

Being unwilling to compromise on home features and neighborhood – Although it is wise to know what you want in a house, having a long list of must-haves can leave a buyer empty-handed. There’s always a give and take when buying a home and checking out different homes helps you narrow down your check list.

Waiving home inspections – Buyers must not waive inspections, except in extreme cases. If inspection is waived, later on serious problems might be revealed, such as foundation damage or mold. Then you may be left with more expenses than you planned.

Fun Fact

In 2020, there were an estimated 1,782,500 first-time home buyers. Since 2000, the proportion of home buyers who are purchasing their first home has been an average of 38 percent!

Positive Parenting – Why Quality Time with Children Matters

Tammy Sassoon

Why Quality Time with Children Matters

In the whirlwind of modern life, it’s easy to get swept away by the demands of work, chores, and constant digital distractions. However, amidst the chaos, one of the most crucial investments we can make is in our children. Spending quality time with them is not just about keeping them busy; it’s about nurturing their growth, fostering strong bonds, and shaping their future.

I was once at a conference in a wonderful school, and the auditorium was filled with highly-talented teachers and principals. One principal asked each teacher to state why she thought children suffer from low self-esteem today, more than ever. My favorite answer was given by a very wise older woman who said that when she was a child her mother was home, and that meant that her children mattered. It was such a simple, yet profound answer. This role model of a woman was saying that her mother didn’t have to go learn fancy techniques about how to make her children feel their self-worth, because by virtue of being home it meant that her focus was her family.

While times have certainly changed, we can hold on to the age-old value of spending time with our children. Somehow it became the norm for people to complain about the work involved in raising children. “Uch, I have to drive carpool today,” “I have to cook again,” etc. While the responsibilities can certainly be overwhelming sometimes, and it is important to honor our feelings, raising children is a great gift not to be taken for granted. I was once standing with a bunch of young teachers in a school hallway while they were having a conversation about their woes of paying a babysitter while they come to work. There was a 40-year-old woman working behind a partition who dreamed of having just one child. She had a strong way of saying things, and when she came out from the partition, she said, “You ladies might want to think about what you are complaining about. Some people only wish to have the struggle of paying a babysitter. For you it’s a reality.” While most people might just think that and not say it, it was eye opening and refreshing to be reminded about the gift of children. That is not to say mothers don’t have to struggle, of course they do! But we can use those struggles to turn to Hashem instead of to be ungrateful, bringing misery to ourselves and to those around us.

Foundation of Strong Relationships

Spending quality time with your children provides a safe and nurturing environment for children to feel loved, understood, and valued. When parents actively engage with their children, they communicate a powerful message, “You are important to me.” The sense of security and belonging is crucial for a child’s emotional and social development.

Creating Lasting Memories

Beyond the immediate benefits, spending quality time with children creates lasting memories that will be cherished for a lifetime. These shared experiences, whether it’s a family vacation, a simple game of catch in the backyard, or a bedtime story, create rich memories that will continue to nourish the parent-child bond long after the children have grown up.

Valuable Investment

In today’s fast-paced world, it’s more important than ever to prioritize quality time with our children. The benefits are immeasurable, from strengthening relationships and fostering emotional growth to creating lasting memories that will be cherished for a lifetime. By investing in our children and nurturing their development through meaningful interactions, we are not only shaping their future but are also enriching our own lives.

Tips for Making the Most of Quality Time

Be Present: When you spend time with your children, put away distractions like phones and focus on being fully present in the moment.

Engage in Meaningful Activities: Choose activities that you and your children enjoy, such as reading, playing games, cooking, or exploring nature.

Create a Routine: Establish regular times for quality time, such as family dinners or game nights.

Listen Actively: Pay attention to what your children have to say, ask questions, and show genuine interest in their thoughts and feelings.

Show Affection: Physical affection, such as hugs and kisses, is essential for building strong emotional bonds.

Branching Out – The Spiritual Power of Tu B’Shvat

Rabbi Ephraim Nisenbaum

The 15th day of Shevat, Tu B’Shvat, is called the New Year for Trees. Strictly speaking, this title draws a legal distinction related to the laws of tithing in the Land of Israel. Tithes must be separated from any produce grown in Israel before it may be eaten. In a given year, the fruit taken as tithe from one tree may represent the owner’s other trees of the same species. However, one year’s fruit may not be tithed for another year’s harvest.

Tradition teaches the new year for fruit begins on the fifteenth of Shevat, because most of the winter rains will have passed and the sap of the new growth has begun to flow: the dormant tree is waking from its winter sleep. A tree that blossoms before Tu B’Shvat is considered last year’s produce; if it blossoms after Tu B’Shvat, it belongs to the new year.

Other than the day’s significance for tithing, there is no source in the Talmud or Midrash for celebrating Tu B’Shvat. Yet, from later sources we find many customs regarding the celebration of Tu B’Shvat: the practice of eating various fruits, the custom of dressing in one’s Shabbat finery for the New Year for Trees, because the Torah compares the human being to a tree (Devarim 20:19).

Let us examine the comparison between man and trees in order to understand the message on Tu B’Shvat for humankind.

The tree goes through cycles in its life. The heavy-laden tree of summer empties itself of fruit in the autumn, and then slowly loses its leaves, one by one. By wintertime, the tree stands shorn of its previous glory. For all purposes, it appears to have died.

But then comes Tu B’Shvat. In the midst of the cold winter days, when all vegetation seems frozen or dead, the sap of the tree starts to flow beneath the surface bark. Rising slowly from roots buried in the hardened soil, the sap pushes its way up, pumping new life into outstretched branches that reach towards the heavens.

In life, we too often go through cycles of growth. Periods of renewal and growth may alternate with times of stagnation or dormancy. Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe cites that this cycle is part of man’s nature. He adds that a person must not become disillusioned when spiritual growth seems halted; the “low” period will usually be followed by a “high” period that will yield new opportunities for growth.

That is the message of Tu B’Shvat: Even when we feel lethargic, in a rut, and seem to have lost the drive to achieve, we must not despair. Just as winter is an annual hiatus in the life cycle of trees, so bouts of lethargy and unproductivity are necessary phases in the human cycle. Just as with the coming of spring, life-giving sap moves imperceptibly through the trees to branches stretching to the sky, so we too will have renewed energy from deep within our spiritual reservoirs, so long as we set our goal heavenward.

Proper Care and Maintenance Required

There is another message in the New Year for Trees. There is a difference between trees and annual plants. Although trees require some regular maintenance, they produce fruit each year without any new planting. Plants and vegetables, on the other hand, must be reseeded each year in order to grow.

If a tree is not given proper care, however, it will die. Man is like the tree. With good maintenance, we need not start over from the very beginning with each goal we set for ourselves. We can build on past accomplishments to go even further. But, as with the tree, we require the proper care to avoid spiritual damage and to grow anew.

Tu B’Shvat inspires us to remember our similarity to the tree. We must be careful to protect ourselves, in order to strive towards greater achievements without having to constantly start over again from scratch.

Rabbi Ephraim Nisenbaum is the author of Powerlines: Insights and Reflections on the Jewish Holidays, published by Targum Press. He is also the founder and director of the Jewish Learning Connection, an outreach organization in Cleveland, Ohio.

Emotional Wellness – The Spring Theory

Rabbi David Sutton & Dr. David Katzenstein, LCSW-R

Rav Wolbe (Alei Shur, Vol. II, p. 186) explains that one of the most powerful forces of the yetzer hara is the power to rebel, as can be seen from the Gemara (Sanhedrin 91b):

Antoninus, the Roman emperor, asked Rabbi Yehudah HaNasi, “At what point does the yetzer hara begin to rule over a person? Is it from the time of conception, or from the time of birth?”

Rabbi Yehudah HaNasi said it is from the time of conception.

Antoninus disagreed. “If that were the case, the yetzer hara would cause the fetus to kick its way out of the womb! So it must be that the yetzer hara begins to rule over a person from the moment of birth, not before.”

Rabbi Yehudah conceded to his logic.

What kind of craziness is that? How can a fetus kick its way out of the womb before it is fully formed? It would be like a dead fish on the floor!

The Power of Rebellion

Rav Wolbe explains that the yetzer hara says, “I don’t want to be in a locked place like this! Get me out of here,” to the point of suicide. The yetzer hara cannot be under someone else’s jurisdiction. It has to be on its own. That is the koach meridah, the power of rebellion. It is this force that gets us into trouble.

Sometimes, good people start working on themselves, but instead of making steady strides, their efforts backfire and they stop, or they even decline. For example, a young yeshivah boy accepts upon himself a taanit dibbur, a fast from speech. He is not going to utter any superfluous speech all day. What happens the next day? He speaks twice as much lashon hara than on a normal day. What happened?

The young man did not deal with his desire to speak lashon hara. He merely tried to suppress it and push it down, which aroused a force of rebellion from inside of him. The boy may not have felt that force at first; he was very happy with his new commitment, with his taanit dibbur. But

the next day, it surfaced. Rav Eliyahu Dessler compares this to a spring. You can keep pushing a spring down, down, down, but as soon as you let go: BOING! – it bounces back.

Three Key Strategies

Accepting that our desires are natural, while also recognizing our capacity for discipline, involves several key strategies:

The first strategy is understanding why we have those desires. This can be accomplished through self-reflection. Taking the time to reflect on our values, priorities, and motivations can help us to understand why we have certain desires, and makes it easier to stay disciplined when those desires conflict with our long-term goals.

The next strategy is becoming mindful of our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, so that we are more aware when we are being driven by desire, and can make conscious decisions about how to respond.

The last strategy is to set clear expectations and goals that are connected to a well-defined purpose. A clear goal can give us the motivation to stay disciplined and reign in our desires.

Also quoting the spring theory, the Siftei Chaim states that when a person is working on guarding his eyes, he should not keep yelling at himself, “Don’t look! Don’t look! Don’t look!” because that has the power to backfire.

As soon as he lets go, his resolve will dissipate and his desire will spring right back.

TAKEAWAY:

The Siftei Chaim promotes a positive approach: to appreciate the opportunity to guard your eyes, and the merit you will gain when you do. In this way, you are not fighting against your yetzer hara, and thereby not activating the renegade within you.

The Secret of Dreams

Rabbi Zamir Cohen

The nature and meaning of dreams have fueled the imaginations of modern scientists no less than they challenged the thinkers of the ancient world.

What is a dream and where does it come from?

Do dreams contain hidden messages?

Is there a use for the good or bad information that appears in a dream, or is a dream merely a kind of illusion unworthy of serious reflection?

A survey of the science’s approach to dreams reveals an incremental change that has taken place over the years.

Only 120 years ago, the intellectual community scoffed at the idea that dreams were worthy of serious study, deeming them mental illusions that carried no deep significance.

All this changed with the arrival of Sigmund Freud (1856-1939), the central figure in a movement teaching that dreams are key elements for revealing the deep motivations and obstacles buried in the human soul. Freud claimed that when a person is awake, his or her consciousness serves as a kind of gatekeeper, filtering out some of the richest voices of the soul. During sleep, the “censorship” of the waking consciousness no longer controls the swirling pool of the subconscious, and the mind is flooded with all variety of messages, ideas, and desires normally buried in the furthest recesses of the soul.

But what about the supernatural element of dreams? Freud addressed this question, too, rejecting the notion entirely. In the conclusion to his book, The Interpretation of Dreams, Freud wrote that the idea that a dream could reveal anything about the future was worthless.

Futuristic Insights

However, in the decades since the publication of Freud’s work on dreams, scientific researchers have collected testimonials, evidence, and data demonstrating that dreams can actually provide knowledge of the future. This evidence, verified by careful and precise tests, has forced scientists to reject Freud’s stance on the value of dreams as a source of insight into future events – even while many researchers still remain baffled about the essence of dreams and their interpretations.

Professor Yaakov Bazak, a noted Israeli judge and legal scholar, wrote the following lines in his book Beyond the Senses, after his own experiences confirming the power of dreams:

Taking into account the minute details that came true, it is extremely difficult to explain the actualization of dreams as mere coincidence. Anyone willing to approach this topic without preconceptions must admit – at the very least – that the relationship between dreams and the future deserves serious scientific study. It is simply not logical to claim that there is no basis whatsoever for the power of dreams to relay information about future events. It is true that some dreams can be explained as the result of subconscious reflections on events that happened in reality. In other cases the element of telepathy must be considered. Some dreams really are the result of “sheer coincidence.” But after all is said and done, one cannot deny those dreams that do carry solid evidence of predicting the future and cannot be explained by any of the approaches listed above. Unfortunately, we must continue to wait patiently for scientific tools capable of investigating the prophetic foundation of dreams.

While there is certainly no universal agreement among contemporary scientists concerning the ability of dreams to predict the future, some researchers have indeed concluded that the phenomenon exists, with England leading the international community in this field. Among the most notable examples occurred in 1966, when many people had dreams predicting a disaster in Aberfan, Wales, a small village where a mountain of coal slag collapsed over a school, burying 144 people.

As a result of this incident, a British institute was launched with the expressed purpose of researching the possibility that dreams can predict disasters. Today, a number of similar private institutes – often staffed by volunteers – have taken on similar projects worldwide, gathering data and personal testimonials on the topic. Even though this area of research is still new, the amount of available data has grown dramatically in recent years.

The Torah’s View

Does the Torah completely ignore dreams, as did many scientists of the past? Does it regard dreams as a purely psychological phenomenon, as did Freud? Are we fated to remain in the dark about the concept of predictions through dreams, just like so many researchers of our generation?

Not surprisingly, the Torah sages were far ahead of scientists of the past, Freud, and today’s scientists. A clear understanding of the Torah’s approach to dreams eliminates the confusion surrounding the topic, and answers all the major questions in the field, one by one.

Before we cite teachings of the sages on dreams, let us first briefly consider the phenomenon of sleep in general. Only after gaining an understanding of the various elements and reasons for sleep can we suggest an approach to understanding the nature and power of dreams.

The Torah knew thousands of years ago what science has only discovered recently. Namely, that the true “I” of each of us is an internal, spiritual being wrapped in a material, physical exterior composed of flesh and bones. Just like clothing cannot move without a person wearing it, the human body cannot live and function in the world without this interior, spiritual essence. After hundreds of years of denial and doubt – and thanks to new research in the field of near-death experiences – even noted scientists now understand that death is not the end. Rather, it is the release of the true, spiritual person from the bonds of the material, temporal clothing of the body sewn together from transitory flesh and bones.

What is Sleep?

A sleeping person lies in an unconscious state – almost like death. He does not receive information from his environment or maintain any awareness of what takes place around him. Yet, he still breathes and can be reawakened. Thus, he is not really dead, but neither is he truly living. The Talmud therefore states, “Sleep is 1/60th of death.” In other words, the process and the circumstances of sleep are very similar to those of death, though only to a small extent. To put it another way, we can say that there is a separation of the soul from the body during sleep similar to the separation that takes place at the time of death. If this is true, how does a human being continue to breathe while sleeping and then “wake up alive” afterwards?

The Ramchal (Rabbi Moshe Haim Luzzato), a great Kabbalist, writes in his book Derech Hashem (3:1) that the soul is comprised of five parts: nefesh, ruah, neshamah, hayah, and yehidah. Some of these parts leave the body during sleep, which accounts for the deep rest experienced, but others remain, ensuring that basic bodily functions continue. This is why sleep is considered 1/60th of death.

Death separates the soul from the body completely – each and every one of these parts of the soul – and the body moves fully from a living state to a dead one. By contrast, a sleeping person can still live and breathe, despite the unconscious state brought on by the departure of some parts of the soul. These parts return to the body at the conclusion of the required hours of sleep, or as a result of a sudden arousal, such as when a sleeping person hears his name called or hears a harsh, sudden noise. Then his soul returns to the body in a flurry. This is often marked by the deep breath people take before opening their eyes.

The Benefits of Sleep

The Kabbalists taught that flesh, like any inanimate object, does not require sleep. However, in order for a person’s soul to function properly, it must occasionally receive sustenance from its supernal source – much like a battery occasionally needs to be recharged. If this source would “charge” the soul while the person is awake, the person would be unable to withstand the power, and would collapse, We might draw an analogy to a strong electrical charge flowing through a fuse, or boiling water suddenly being poured into a thin crystal glass. The fuse would burn out and the glass would shatter. For this reason, the soul must separate itself from the body when it is to be “recharged,” leaving behind the “nefesh” portion to ensure that the body continues to function.

This is the meaning of the verse, “In Your hand I will place my spirit [ruah]” (Tehillim 21:6). A person’s “ruah” leaves him at night, but not the “nefesh,” as its departure would cause death.

Sleep, then, is a process of spiritual replenishment. After the soul receives its bounty of energy as required, it returns to the body to recharge and refuel it so that it can awaken like new. This, too, is the deep meaning of the verse, “New in the mornings, your faith is great” (Echah 3:23). This is also the reason why a person goes to sleep tired and awakens refreshed. The physical body does not experience sensations such as “refreshed,” “tired,” “sleepy,” or “awake.” These terms refer only to the soul – the spiritual being.

(These concepts are developed at length in the writings of the Arizal – Sha’ar Hahakdamot, Derash 3.)

What is a Dream?

Here, as in many other instances, the sages have masterfully condensed a tremendous amount of knowledge into several pithy phrases. We will begin with several Biblical verses and Talmudic statements, and then proceed to explore the deeper meaning of these passages through the teachings of the Ramchal.

The prophet Zecharya (10:2) declares, “False dreams comfort in vain.” And in the Book of Iyov (23:15-16) we read, “In the dream of a night vision…people’s ears will hear.”

The Talmud (Berachot) states, “A dream is 1/60th of prophecy,” but also teaches:

“Just as there cannot be wheat without straw, similarly, there cannot be a dream without some nonsense. A person who dreams sees the reflections of his heart, as it says: ‘You are the King and your thoughts rise up when you lie down’ (Daniel 2:29).”

As discussed earlier, sleep results from the departure of certain parts of the soul from the body. The body continues to function through the soul remaining within it, though it lacks to ability to stand, walk, listen, or understand. Note that our ability to stand erect while awake is due to the soul’s “support” of the physical body allowing it to resist the pull of gravity. When the soul departs at the moment of death, the body loses its ability to withstand the force of gravity, and thus falls to the ground. This is the reason why a dead body weighs a little more than it did during life. As the Talmud says: “A living thing holds itself [up].”

The parts of the soul that separate from the body during sleep – ruah, neshamah, hayah, and yehidah – are the higher and purer forms of the soul. These are also the parts that perform higher functions when one is awake, such as concentration, the retrieval and analysis of information from the brain’s memory banks, decision making, the ability to draw conclusions, emotions, and more.

The lower part of the soul – nefesh – controls breathing, imagination, and other “simple” actions. This part of the soul remains in the body during sleep, as reflected in the continued activity of the respiratory system and the imagination. This is why in a dream a person can see himself in faraway places that he had wished to visit, or winning long coveted prizes, or even witnessing a disaster from which he harbors hidden fears while awake.

A Divine Gift

Sleep is a gift from Hashem that allows us to release our tensions and fears, as well as to recall our hopes and desires – precisely during a period of rest, when we gather strength to awake renewed for a new day. (The physical body itself has absolutely no connection to thought, imagination, or the like. Only the parts of the soul listed above, which are stationed in the body, create the sensation that certain parts of the body can think or feel.)

Concerning these types of dreams, the verse says, “False dreams comfort in vain!” Such dreams have no real meaning and are only a means to release various tensions and fears that have accumulated during the day, saving the person from collapse. They teach us about a person’s inner world: What troubles the person? What frightens him? Where does he or she wish to go? What are his or her desires and hopes? And so on.

However, there is also another kind of dream, one which connects to deeper spiritual elements, and which, if they could be seen, would fill the earth with visions of uncontrollable forces beyond description.

When people are awake and all parts of the soul are grounded in the body and the material realm, the connection with spiritual entities is naturally blocked from normal awareness. However, during sleep, when the body is in some sense “dead” due to departure of the highest components of the soul, these detached parts of the soul are free to encounter other, similar spiritual beings, and receive from them information that they are otherwise unable to access, including facts about what will happen in the future.

Partial Prophecy

This information flows directly into the spiritual element that remains in the body during sleep, appearing in the form of dreams. This is why a person can awake with knowledge of the future. About dreams such as these our sages have said, “A dream is 1/60th of prophecy.” However, an ordinary person, who lacks the pure mind and spirit of a prophet, does not grasp a high level of spirituality. Thus, the Sages have said, “There is no dream without some nonsense.” In other words, even a truthful dream has elements of base human hopes and fears mixed within it, for these continue to operate even as spiritual information flows to the sleeping individual.

The Kabbalah also teaches that the purpose of a bad dream, which predicts dire events, is to give us the opportunity to actually alter the negative decree. By changing our behavior and aligning ourselves with the will of our Creator, we are able to change the future. If a person did not have a chance to preempt the evil occurrence through proper behavior, Hashem would not have sent the dream in the first place.

As noted, the Torah’s knowledge of the nature and meaning of dreams preceded Freud by thousands of years. Even science is now following the Torah’s lead, as the scientific community has little doubt that some dreams do foretell the future – though science itself does not know how to handle or explain this fact. As an example of the scientific community’s confusion concerning the nature of dream, we repeat Professor Yaakov Bazak’s words cited earlier: “Unfortunately, we must continue to wait patiently for scientific tools with the ability to investigate the prophetic foundations of dreams.”

The Creator of the world, however, who knows all the mysteries of His creation, revealed this secret in the Torah, along with the entire compendium of Divine teachings meant for us to use in a proper, helpful, and healthy way.