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Words of Rabbi Eli J. Mansour – Seeing Only the Good

This month, we will once again read the remarkable story of akedat Yitzhak, the unimaginable test of faith which Avraham faced when Gd appeared to him and commanded him to do the unthinkable – to sacrifice his beloved son, Yitzhak, whom he had miraculously fathered at the age of 100.   

Compliance with this command required Avraham to not only overcome his natural feelings of love for his son, but also to act in opposite to the most basic foundations of ethical conduct, and common sense.  Avraham spent his life preaching morality and kindness, and was now expected to kill his own son without knowing why.  Moreover, Gd had previously promised that Yitzhak would produce a large nation, and He was now instructing that Yitzhak be killed before marrying and begetting children.  Avraham nevertheless complied, immediately setting out with Yitzhak to Mount Moriah – the future site of the Bet Hamikdash – to offer him as a sacrifice.  Just as he took hold of the knife, Gd called to him and told him to desist, explaining that He was testing his faith, and did not actually want Yitzhak to be sacrificed. 

The importance of this event to us, Avraham’s descendants, is evidenced by the inclusion of this section of the Torah in our daily prayers, as part of the introduction to shaharit each morning.  Additionally, akedat Yitzhak features prominently in our prayers on the Yamim Noraim (High Holidays) as we beseech Gd for forgiveness and a favorable judgment.  In fact, this story is the Torah reading on the second day of Rosh Hashanah.  And, one of the explanations given for the symbolism of the shofar is that it commemorates the ram which Avraham sacrificed on the altar in Yitzhak’s place. 

There is so much about this story to study, analyze, and learn from, and each year, when Parashat Vayera comes around, I find myself drawn to this subject despite the many other fascinating and important topics found in this parashah.  Here, however, I would like to focus on one verse toward end of the story of the akedah which I feel is often neglected, but that, as we will see, may shed light on one of the most critically important consequences of this extraordinary display of self-sacrifice. 

“Gd Shall See” 

After Avraham sacrificed the ram, he declared that the site of this sacrifice should be named “Hashem yireh” – literally, “Gd shall see” (Beresheet 22:14).  What did Avraham want Gd to “see”? 

Rashi brings two interpretations.  The first, which Rashi cites from Onkelos’ Aramaic translation, is that Avraham refers to the designation of this site as the location of the Bet Hamikdash.  Avraham prophetically foresaw that Gd would choose the place of this altar, upon which Yitzhak was bound, as the site where His presence would reside and where his descendants would offer sacrifices. 

Secondly, as Rashi brings from the Midrash, Avraham here prayed that Gd should see this act of self-sacrifice, and invoke this merit of behalf of his descendants.  When the Jewish People would sin and be worthy of harsh punishment, Gd should see this altar and Avraham’s willingness to sacrifice that which was most precious to him, and in this merit, He should forgive the nation and save them. 

Yet, a third explanation is given by the Gaon of Vilna (Rav Eliyahu of Vilna, 1720-1797).  He writes that when Gd first created Adam and Havah, He resided with them, as it were, in Gan Eden.  As a result of their sin, however, He drove them from Gan Eden, distancing them from Him.  And then, as mankind continued to sin, Gd withdrew further and further.  The process  of the return of the Shechinah (divine presence) to earth began with Avraham, and reached its culmination at Mount Sinai, when Gd actually descended onto the mountain and appeared to Beneh Yisrael.  Avraham thus declared at the time of akedat Yitzhak that “Gd shall see” – Gd was now drawing closer to the world and to mankind, such that He could be said to “see” them.  At the time of the Revelation at Sinai, Gd was so close that He not only “saw,” but was also clearly seen by the people.  And thus, after the Torah tells us that Avraham declared “Hashem yireh” (“Gd shall see”), it adds, “that it is said today: Gd shall be seen.”  This means that “today” – the day the Torah was given – Hashem was actually seen, as He revealed Himself to the people. 

The “Mesirut Nefesh” Instinct 

Of particular interest to us here, however, is the unique interpretation of this verse suggested by Rav Meir Simcha of Dvinsk (1843-1926), in his Meshech Hochmah commentary. 

Rav Meir Simcha reveals for us the eternal impact of akedat Yitzhak, how this event left its mark upon the hearts and souls of all Jews for all generations.  Yitzhak’s willingness to sacrifice his life for the sake of the divine will implanted within all his descendants the desire to fulfill Gd’s will at all costs, no matter what sacrifices this entails.  The event of akedat Yitzhak affected the “wiring” of Am Yisrael for all time, igniting within us the drive and determination to do Gd’s bidding, and the “mesirut nefesh” – willingness to sacrifice ourselves – to that end.  This instinct was aroused within us all the moment Yitzhak allowed himself to be placed on the altar and be sacrificed in fulfillment of Gd’s command. 

Rav Meir Simcha explains on this basis the astonishing principle articulated by our sages concerning a Jew’s unfulfilled ambitions.  The Gemara (Kiddushin 40a) teaches, “Mahashavah tovah metzarefah lemaa’aseh” – Gd “combines a good thought to the action.”  This means that if a person genuinely aspired to perform a certain mitzvah, and was determined to do whatever was needed to achieve this goal, but was unable to realize his ambition due to practical constraints, or circumstances beyond his control, he is nevertheless credited with that mitzvah.  As long as he sincerely wished to perform the good deed, and despaired only when the mitzvah was truly out of reach, he is considered to have performed that good deed.  However, the Gemara continues, this does not work in the converse.  If a person sought to commit a forbidden act, no matter how determined he was to follow through on his sinful ambitions, he is not held accountable unless he ended up actually transgressing.  Even though he truly wished to violate the Torah, and even if he went to great lengths trying to fulfill his forbidden desire, he is not punished if he was unable to do so. 

Why should this be the case?  Why do our noble intentions count, but our sinful intentions do not?  If what matters is the bottom-line, the actions we perform, then this should be true also of mitzvot, and we should receive credit only for what we actually achieve.  And if what matters is our will and intent, then why are we not held accountable for our unrealized sinful aspirations? 

Rav Meir Simcha finds the answer in the story of akedat Yitzhak – specifically, in the indelible imprint that Yitzhak’s mesirut nefesh had upon the soul of every Jew.  When a Jew sincerely seeks to perform a mitzvah, this will expresses the wishes of the deepest recesses of his being.  This desire to do good stems from his innate goodness, the natural impulse to sacrifice for Hashem which was implanted within us at the time of akedat Yitzhak.  Therefore, as this desire is pure and genuine, the person is credited with the performance of the mitzvah.  By contrast, when a Jew decides to violate Gd’s will, this desire does not reflect his true essence.  It is the product of some external factors, of various pressures and lures.  The Jew’s innermost being does not want to sin; such a desire is introduced by forces that are foreign to his core essence.  Therefore, the desire to sin is not sufficient to bring guilt, because it is not purely genuine.  (Rav Meir Simcha also references in this context the Rambam’s famous comments in Hilchot Gerushin 2:20 explaining that the inner desire of every Jew is to faithfully observe the mitzvot.) 

We Can All Be “Outreach Professionals” 

To understand the practical implications of this concept, we need simply to take note of the different attitudes that exist toward Jews who are not religiously observant. 

Many people, unfortunately, look at our unobservant brothers and sisters with condescension and disdain.  They resent these Jews’ failure to abide by the Torah’s laws, to embrace Jewish belief, and to live according to the Torah’s values and laws, and so they keep a distance and harbor feelings of scorn. 

Contrast this attitude with that of kiruv (outreach) professionals.  When someone involved in kiruv meets a Jew who does not observe the mitzvot, he right away sees that Jew’s inner spark of holiness, his potential for greatness, the imprint of akedat Yitzhak within the person’s heart.  He intuitively distinguishes between this precious Jew’s conduct and what this Jew’s heart truly wants.  In the eyes of an outreach professional, an unobservant Jew is not that much different from all of us – he is inherently good, possesses a sacred soul that longs for kedushah and for a connection with Gd, but is subject to innumerable lures that lead him astray.  And it is by focusing on this inherent sanctity embedded within the spirit of every Jew, that the spark can be ignited, leading to profound spiritual growth. 

This perspective should not be the exclusive province of outreach professionals.  This is something that all of us can and should do.  Rather than focus on all that is wrong with our fellow Jews, we should focus on all that is right about our fellow Jews.  We should see beyond the faults, shortcomings and lapses, and see the goodness and purity, the element of holiness that Yitzhak Avinu implanted within every Jew’s heart.  If we view our fellow Jews this way, we will enjoy far greater unity and harmony within our ranks, and we will be able to inspire one another and grow together.  And we will then be worthy heirs of the sacred legacy of Avraham and Yitzhak, such that their great merit will protect us and bring us our long-awaited final redemption, speedily and in our times, amen

Embodiment of the Mirrer Legacy

Honoring Rabbi Hanania Abisror, Recipient of the Mirrer Yeshiva’s  

Rabbi Shraga Moshe Kalmanowitz Award 

Victor Cohen 

The Mirrer Yeshiva is one of the oldest and most distinguished institutions in our community. First and foremost, of course, the yeshiva is renowned for its outstanding standards of Torah learning. It is famous as well for producing towering religious leaders, such as Rabbi Dovid Choueka and Rabbi Abraham Shabot of Mexico, Rabbi Shumel Choueka of Ohel Simha (Park Avenue Synagogue), Rabbi Asher Hachuel of Ateret Torah, Rabbi Hillel Haber of Shaarei Torah, Rabbi David Ozeri and Rabbi David Sutton of Yad Yosef, Rabbi Jackie Kassin (son of Rabbi Shaul Kassin, zt”l), Rabbi Yaakov Ben Haim of Shaarei Zion, and Rabbi Eliyahu Ben Haim (both sons of Hacham Baruch Ben Haim). In addition, the Mirrer Yeshiva is known for championing, embodying and disseminating the timeless values of kindness, caring for others, and humility.  

This December, the Mirrer Yeshiva will be presenting the prestigious Rabbi Shraga Moshe Kalmanowitz Award to Rabbi Hanania Abisror, in recognition of his immense contributions to the Jewish world. 

Rabbi Abisror is a staff-member of the Edmond J. Safra Synagogue in Aventura, Florida, a synagogue which serves those who seasonally visit Florida from our community. The congregation’s website describes how Rabbi Abisror “has been essential in helping the community maintain its Torah values and traditions for many years.” He also runs the synagogue’s highly successful netz (sunrise) minyan

To learn more about the history of the Mirrer Yeshiva, I spoke with Rabbi Pinchos Hecht, the yeshiva’s Executive Director. I was privileged also to speak with Rabbi Abisror in order to learn more about his story and how the Mirrer Yeshiva impacted his life. 

The Rescue of Sephardic Jews From Arab Lands 

The Mirrer Yeshiva has a storied history – from its glorious years in Europe, through its dramatic escape during the Holocaust to Japan and Shanghai, until finally landing and reconstituting as two branches – one in Jerusalem, and another in Brooklyn, finding a place in our community in our early days.  

The yeshiva here in Brooklyn took in students from all over the world during the 1950s and 60’s, when many Jewish communities around the world faced persecution, particularly in Middle Eastern countries such as Syria, Egypt and Morocco. Rabbi Avraham Kalmanowitz, zt”l (1887-1964), Rosh Yeshiva and Dean of the Mirrer Yeshiva, partnered with Mr. Isaac Shalom to heroically rescue as many Jews from these lands as possible. He lobbied and petitioned the U.S. government to afford these Jews refugee status, and succeeded in bringing as many as 4,000 families out of places like Egypt and Morocco. The Rosh Yeshiva corresponded with members of the Senate Judiciary committee, doing everything he could to help rescue more families. In one letter, Senator Kenneth B. Keating wrote to the rabbi:  

“Thank you for your recent letter… with regard to the persecution of eight Jews trying to escape from the United Arab Republic. 

“I fully sympathize with your position in this manner. I have been in touch with the White House and the Department of State and have been advised that the United States is following the situation very closely. I understand that you will be hearing directly from the Department of State very shortly.” 

Among the photos appearing alongside this article are letters which Rabbi Kalmanowitz and his son, Rabbi Shraga Moshe Kalmanowitz – who taught in the yeshiva and later succeeded his father as Rosh Yeshiva – wrote or received from members of the government. Their advocacy efforts had a profound impact, saving countless lives from persecution or death.  

One of those lives saved by the Rosh Yeshiva was that of a young man named Hanania Abisror, who was brought to the Mirrer Yeshiva from Morocco in 1966 by Rabbi David Bitton, an alumnus of the yeshiva who became principal of Magen David. Rabbi Abisror recalls how, as a newcomer, he feared that his learning skills fell far short of those of the yeshiva’s Ashkenazic students. Rabbi Shraga Moshe Kalmanowitz encouraged him by assuring, “The best students in my yeshiva are three Moroccan boys: Shalom Revach, Baruch Harrar, and Haim Kessous!” 

Rabbi Shraga Moshe Kalmanowitz, and by extension, the Mirrer Yeshiva, functioned as an anchor for many families who came to the United States to escape oppression in Arab countries. Many of the students it brought from these lands went on to assume important positions in education and religious leadership. It is thus no exaggeration to say that Rabbi Kalmanowitz had a transformative impact upon our community, producing some of the most influential figures that built the community’s spiritual foundations. 

Appropriately, Rabbi Shraga Moshe was succeeded by his son, Rabbi Osher Kalmanowitz, who continues the treasured legacy of his father and grandfather, educating students to follow the path of Torah, of loving kindness, and of selfless concern for, and boundless generosity toward, other people. 

The Rabbi Shraga Moshe Kalmanowitz Award recognizes those whose lives embody these ideals of fervent devotion to Torah and to the Jewish Nation, who exemplify through their life’s work the values and achievements of Rabbi Kalmanowitz. 

“You See the Holiness” 

Rabbi Abisror – this year’s worthy recipient of the award – was born in 1951 in Marrakech, Morocco. His name, Abisror, according to his father and grandparents, alludes to his family’s descending from Mordechai, the Jewish leader at the time of the Purim story. 

At the age of ten, Hanania, together with his brother, enrolled in Yeshivat Or Yosef in France, where he studied under the tutelage of Rav Gershon Liebman, who had himself studied under the famed Rosh Yeshiva Rabbi Avraham Jofen (1887-1970).  

Rabbi Abisror’s memories of his yeshiva years are remarkably clear and detailed. One story he shared was about the time Rabbi Jofen came to Or Yosef to give a blessing to the students.  

“I thought he was an angel,” Rabbi Abisror recalled.  

Rabbi Jofen was a disciple and son-in-law of Rabbi Yosef Yozel Horowitz, the legendary “Alter of Novardok (1847-1919), author of the classic mussar work, Madregat Ha’adam. Rabbi Horowtiz was one of the most famous students of Rabbi Yisrael Salanter (1809-1883), founder of the mussar movement. 

Rabbi Abisror returned to Morocco for his bar-mitzvah, and spent a year learning in Yeshivat Etz Chaim in the Moroccan town of Tangiers. Reflecting on his time in Etz Chaim, Rabbi Abisror expressed his gratitude to the Reichmann family who nurtured and supported this yeshiva.  In September of 1966, Rabbi David Bitton was sent to bring Moroccan boys to the Mirrer Yeshiva. He selected 20 boys, one of whom was Hanania Abisror. How meaningful it is that the award commemorating Rabbi Kalmanowitz is now being granted to someone whom he helped bring into our community. 

The Mirrer Yeshiva was very kind to young Hanania, making a deep impression upon him. He related that he once broke his arm, and instead of being left to fend for himself, or forced to ask his friends to help, he was personally assisted by the Rosh Yeshiva, who washed his hands for netilat yadayim, and put his tefillin on for him.  

“He could’ve had someone else do it,” Rabbi Abisror noted, “but you see the holiness… the kedushah… They were so humble.” 

A Life of Giving 

This personal example helped mold Rabbi Abisror’s character. Rabbi Hecht observed that “the personal touch is lacking in today’s world,” but “Rabbi Abisror has that warmth and caring, like he was from a previous generation.” 

Rabbi Abisror spent eight years in the Mirrer Yeshiva, from 1966-1974.  

“Yeshiva life meant a lot to me,” he said. “The education kept us going.” 

He spoke fondly and appreciatively of the many rabbis under whom he studied in the yeshiva: Rabbi Dovid Kviat, Rabbi Elya Jurkansky, Rabbi Shraga Moshe Kalmanowitz, Rabbi Shmuel Berenbaum, and Rabbi Shmuel Brudny.  

 “I envision them all the time,” he said. “They handled themselves in just a humble way.” 

Understandably, Rabbi Abisror spoke with overflowing joy and pride about his grandson and great-nephew who currently study in the Mirrer Yeshiva, following his footsteps. He continues to maintain a close relationship with the current Rosh Yeshiva, Rabbi Osher Kalmanowitz, as well as with Rabbi Eli Brudny and Rabbi Asher Berenbaum, two other luminaries who teach in the yeshiva.  

Rabbi Abisror pointed to humility as the key value which the Mirrer Yeshiva strove to inculcate within its students. Additionally, the education that he received placed great emphasis on the importance of feeling genuine love and concern for other people. He described how the Mirrer Yeshiva loved and cared for him, and danced with him at his wedding. In fact, he added, the Rosh Yeshiva’s own children were the ones who, in his words, “made it such a special event.” 

The values that Rabbi Abisror imbibed from the Mirrer Yeshiva became part of the very fabric of his being, and have remained so throughout his life.  

“Rabbi Abisror serves as a role model to others on how to lead a life of giving,” Rabbi Hecht explained. He said that in his many classes, Rabbi Abisror inspires his students to strive towards those same ideals he was taught many years ago, both during his time in the yeshiva, and through his experiences earlier in life. 

Rabbi Shraga Moshe Kalmanowitz spent his life giving, enriching people’s lives with Torah, and providing them with light when the world around them was dark. Rabbi Hanania Abisror is but one of the countless beneficiaries of this light, and he has, in turn, devoted his life to doing the same for others. 

Alongside his deep feelings of gratitude to Hashem and to the Mirrer Yeshiva for all he has received, Rabbi Abisror also expressed his hope that our community will generously assist the yeshiva to continue its vital work.  Today, the Mirrer Yeshiva continues to host Sephardic students from France, who represent the future of our community’s religious leadership.  With Hashem’s help, and with the help of our community’s donors, the yeshiva will continue to flourish and succeed in its mission in strengthen the foundations of Torah both here in Brooklyn and throughout the Jewish world. 

Pros and Cons of Refinancing Your Home

Karen Behfar

Now that rates have dropped to around six percent, it might be a good time for those with higher interest rates to consider refinancing.  

Your home is an investment, and one way to maximize that investment is through refinancing. 

Refinancing your mortgage means replacing your current loan with a new one – typically with a new principal and a different interest rate. The new mortgage pays off the old one, leaving you with a single loan to manage. 

Refinancing can offer several benefits, such as lowering your interest costs or allowing you to cash out some of your home equity. However, like anything, there are also downsides. Let’s briefly explore what refinancing is, along with its pros, cons, and key details. 

Pros of Refinancing 

Lower Interest Rates + Monthly Payments: This is one of the most common reasons for refinancing. If your credit score has improved or rates are lower due to market conditions, refinancing can save you money. 

Eliminate Private Mortgage Insurance (PMI): PMI is required when you put down less than 20 percent on a conventional loan, adding hundreds to your monthly payments. If your home’s value has increased, refinancing could allow you to remove PMI by recalculating equity based on the new value. 

Adjust Loan Features: You can save money by switching to a shorter loan term or lower your payments by extending the term. 

Add or Remove a Co-Borrower: Refinancing allows flexibility in changing who is responsible for the loan. 

Cash Out Home Equity: This is useful if you want to pay off high-interest debts. You can take out a larger loan and pocket the difference between your old and new mortgage amounts. 

Cons of Refinancing 

Closing Costs: Refinancing usually comes with closing costs ranging from 2% to 6% of the new loan amount, so it’s essential to compare offers from different lenders. 

Impact on Credit Score: A refinance application triggers a hard credit inquiry, which may temporarily lower your credit score. This can remain on your report for two years. 

Longer Loan Term or Higher Debt: Extending your loan term, even with lower monthly payments, can lead to paying more in interest over time. If you take a larger loan for cash-out, your debt-to-income ratio may increase, making future borrowing more difficult. 

Ultimately, the decision to refinance depends on your potential savings. It’s crucial to identify which loan options you qualify for, and to understand the closing costs, interest rates, monthly payments, and repayment terms. Improving your credit score can help you secure the best deal, making refinancing not just an option, but a wise choice.

October 7th – One Year Later

Ellen Geller Kamaras 

It is extremely painful for us to process that the Israel-Hamas war has continued for over a year.   

One year ago, the most horrific massacre since the Holocaust occurred to the Jewish people.   We all prayed that Hamas would release the hostages long before this anniversary. We could not fathom they would not be home more than one full year later. 

Due to security concerns, many of the October 7th commemoration program times were announced but locations were not shared publicly for fear of violence.  It is shocking to see the hatred that was unleashed with so many pro-Palestinian protests on the one-year anniversary of October 7th. 

The World’s Response 

Roger Cohen, an op-ed columnist for the International NY Times, reporting from Tel Aviv, summarized the world’s initial and subsequent reactions to the brutal events of October 7th: 

Much of the world understood Israel’s reaction, at least for a moment. But quickly, a Palestinian narrative of Israeli “genocide” in Gaza gained traction. The catastrophe, then, was not Israel’s, but that of the Palestinian people, systematically oppressed, in this telling, by a ruthless Israel intent for decades on dispossessing them. 

Cohen also cited the broad embrace of the Palestinian cause as an extension of movements for racial and social justice in the United States. 

The Rise of Anti-Semitism Close to Home 

Hate crimes and anti-Semitic incidents are growing and continue to threaten us with accompanying violence.  They are no longer faraway news reports but they are happening in our own neighborhoods.  Just recently, a Jewish spa owner’s windows were broken in Boerum Hill, Brooklyn, less than a mile from my home. 

College students still feel dangerously vulnerable and are grappling with anti-Semitism and pro-Palestinian factions on campus. 

Many Israelis have been displaced from their homes due to the war in Gaza and the war in the North. There are whole communities and kibbutzim near the Gaza border that remain in ruins, as they were on October 7th

We continue to pray that Hamas will release the remaining hostages (including the bodies of those killed) even while the war intensifies and grows. 

How Are We Stronger? 

Many have said one year later and one year stronger. How are we stronger? 

Israel has been blessed with open miracles this past year as the country faced fierce battles to eliminate Hamas and then Hezbollah.   

Jews have set aside their differences and have come together to defend Israel. 

Israel has been fighting an existential war, both in terms of security and its Zionist and democratic values.  We are fighting for Israel’s right to exist and survive.    

Last month, at the October 7th memorial at Congregation Bnai Avraham in Brooklyn Heights, Dr. Yair Ansbacher, an Israeli counter-terrorism expert,  explained that, in reality, the war is not against Hamas only or Hezbollah only, but is against Iran.  Iran pulls the strings and shapes the Middle East by Islamist proxies.  These include Hamas in the South (Gaza), Hezbollah in the North (Lebanon), Jihad in Judea and Samaria and the Palestinian territories, the Houthis in Yemen, and others in Iraq and Bahrain. 

In spite of the surge in anti-Semitism, we continue to use our Jewish mindset and practice values of optimism, faith, hope, and positivity. Most importantly, we try to exercise resilience.   

After October 7th, Jewish resilience meant the creation of a new normal.  Resilience requires not only perseverance but also the ability to adapt to adverse events.  Yossi Klein Halevi is an American-born Israeli author and journalist. Halevi said, “Even as we maintain the pretense of daily life (in Israel), a part of us is permanently alert.” 

Consequences of October 7th  

Friends asking each other: where were you when you heard about what happened on October 7th? has the same ring as asking: where you on 9/11? That date of October 7th, and what it represented, was like 9/11 – so shocking, which provoked such deep mourning for so many innocents.  

The Black Shabbat and the unprovoked war triggered a myriad of feelings including shock, despair, pain, depression, grief, and anger.   

However, as a result of October 7th, there was a surge of Jewish unity and pride both in Israel and globally.   

Israeli citizens of all political affiliations and religious orientations came together. Protests condemning Netanyahu and decrying the proposed judicial reform abated.  Signs and bumper stickers popped up all over Israel with the slogan b’yachad nenatzayach – together we will win. In religious communities “bezrat Hashem” was added. This slogan was printed on the outside wrappers of paper towels, on signs welcoming drivers to cities across the country, on posters along the highways, and in the windows of homes and stores everywhere. Reservists who had previously refused to appear for duty lined up to serve.  Reservists flew into Israel from all over the world – not just vacationers backpacking in India and Thailand, but even Israelis who had settled abroad and who had been away for years.   

An Increase in Religious Observance   

Nova survivors began observing Shabbat. This past March, the wildly popular Israeli comedian Hochman Guy called on his Tik Tok followers to help him reach one hundred thousand Jews to observe to the upcoming Shabbat for the first time in their lives. “We will show our enemies what kind of people we are,” he said. He told his followers that this would be the very first time he would be observing Shabbat.  

More Israeli soldiers began wearing tzitzit, as volunteers around the country worked tirelessly to affix the strings and tie them properly. Rabbi Asher Weiss, a well-respected Israeli posek, originally from Borough Park, gave a psak allowing women to tie tzitzit, as well. More Israeli men are donning tefillin.  Community member Linda Cohen, along with Ramona Mizrahi, launched the leilui nishmat project in memory of Ramona’s brother.  They collect used tefillin along with donations to purchase new tefillin and send them to Israel for soldiers. 

Jews in the Diaspora began to rethink their priorities and what it means to be a Jew in the U.S. and in other countries.  They began returning to shul, lighting Shabbat candles, and displaying their Jewish identity by wearing Jewish stars, kippot, and “Bring Them Home Now” necklace tags.  

Jews across the globe are affirming their belief in Israel’s right to exist as our homeland. 

Anti-Semitism Spikes 

The Israel-Hamas war has caused a spike in anti-Semitism outside of Israel, particularly in the U.S. and in Europe.   

The Atlantic magazine recently published an article by Dara Horn titled: October 7 Created a Permission Structure for Anti-Semitism, with the subtitle: What American Jews have experienced in the past year is both a pattern and a warning. 

The U.S. Holocaust Museum reports that since October 7th an unprecedented wave of anti-Semitism, Holocaust distortion, and Holocaust denial has swept the globe. 

As of October 10th, the Israeli prime minister’s office lists 97 hostages still held in Gaza, and has confirmed 34 of them as dead, bringing the estimated number of living hostages to 63. Unbelievably, posters with pictures of the hostages are still being ripped down on college campuses. 

“I am not the same person I was before October 7th.”  

This phrase articulates how many Israelis and Diaspora Jews feel after October 7th.  Many experienced distress and pain that will plague them forever.  Some turned to Shabbat observance, like Ori and his wife who miraculously survived the Nova massacre. 

Other survivors vow to live their best lives to honor their friends whose lives were cut short. 

And the Jewish value of optimism still prevails. 

The phrase “we will dance again” became a mantra and is also a reflection of our Jewish values of hope and resilience.   

A 90-minute documentary film, “We Will Dance Again,”  was produced about the victims and survivors of the Nova Music Festival.  A special preview was screened in London on September 24th.   

The slogan “never again” was used by liberated prisoners at Buchenwald concentration camp to denounce fascism. The slogan was popularized by Jewish Defense League founder Rabbi Meir Kahana in his 1971 book, Never Again! in reference to the Holocaust. The Anti-Defamation League updated this saying to “Never is now” for the world’s largest summit against anti-Semitism and hate this past March.    

The Shoah Foundation is in the process of documenting the testimonies of survivors of October 7th.   

Community Support  

Jewish communities worldwide bolstered our brothers and sisters in Israel in many ways.  Significant financial donations have been made to vital organizations such as ZAKA, Magen David Adom, and United Hatzalah  by synagogues, individuals, and not-for- profits.   Hesed funds raise money for widows and children of fallen soldiers, for displaced Israeli families, and for army boots and other essential equipment.  Israeli farmers and companies also need our help. 

Community member, Victor Cohen, beautifully conveys our community’s meaningful response to October 7th.  Our community has helped the soldiers and citizens of Israel emotionally, spiritually, and financially.  

Victor noted, “We have been seeking to deepen our connection to the land and to the people of Israel. We pray for the welfare of our brothers and sisters, send financial aid, and organize shipments of supplies. One of the most crucial activities we have done, though, is to go to Israel ourselves.”  Several Jersey Shore solidarity missions headed to Israel in the wake of October 7th.  The groups packed food boxes, visited the Gaza envelope where the attacks took place, including going to the Nova Festival site and nearby kibbutzim. They visited injured soldiers, Hostage Square in Tel Aviv, and much more. No one was left unaffected by what they saw, and from their conversations with Israelis they met.  

Last December, ten community members, including Rabbi David Ozeri and Rabbi David Sutton, traveled to Israel to show their support. They visited leading rabbis in Yerushalayim to provide hizuk and to deliver financial assistance for their yeshivot.  Jack E. Rahmey wrote, “While the IDF employs military force against our enemies, we believe that learning Torah and praying to Hashem are potent weapons, as well. Unity as a nation ensures the presence of Hashem and guarantees our survival.”  Their trip also included hesed, visiting the hostages’ families and injured soldiers, seeing the charred remains of kibbutz homes, dancing with soldiers up North, and giving tzedakah to yeshivot in Bnai Brak and other parts of Israel. 

There were community gatherings, online events including virtual tours of Israel, readings, and other commemorations held to honor the victims and learn about the lessons of October 7th.  

  • At some events people stood in silence while the names of those who were killed were read, including IDF soldiers and hostages.  
  • Films were screened that depicted the story of the hostages and their families. 
  • Many participated in mitzvot such as learning Torah and doing hesed. Many individuals took  on a new mitzvah. 
  • Art projects were conducted, such as drawing the red anemone, Israel’s national flower, as a symbol of unity.  
  • A global Simchat Torah project was initiated to honor those who were lost on October 7th by adorning Torah scrolls with special covers.  
  • A virtual tour of an exhibition at the Anu [from the Hebrew word for “we” or “us”] Museum of the Jewish People at the Tel Aviv University that examines how Israeli culture has reacted to the war.  
  • The Lookstein Center at Bar-Ilan University created educational resources to help students worldwide to meaningfully remember the October 7th events.  

What You Can Do 

Keep praying for the speedy return of our hostages and the protection of our soldiers, members of the security forces, and search and rescue teams. Pray for the Jews in Israel and for the refuah sheleima of our holim

Join a WhatsApp Tehillim group.  Join Partners in Protection to be matched up with a partner for learning Torah. The commitment is to learn together for just ten minutes a week, learning in the merit of a specific soldier (partnersinprotection.org/iotg). 

Take on a new mitzvah.  

Donate to organizations in Israel.   

Volunteer locally or in Israel.  Raise funds for Israel in your shul or for an organization. Recognize that Israeli soldiers are not just fighting for Israel but for Jews around the world.  Go on a mission to Israel, volunteer on a kibbutz, or other place with a labor shortage, such as farms or school. 

Attend solidarity rallies. 

To strengthen our college students, the Israel Campus Coalition inspires U.S. college students to see Israel as a source of pride and empowers them to stand up for Israel on campus.   

Advocate for Israel by writing to your government representatives using easy-to-use templates.  

Be united and be there for each other and find comfort in your family and community.  

Ellen Geller Kamaras, CPA/MBA, is an International Coach Federation (ICF) Associate Certified Coach.  Her coaching specialties include life, career, and dating coaching.  Ellen is active in her community and is currently the Acting President of Congregation Bnai Avraham in Brooklyn Heights.  She can be contacted at ellen@lifecoachellen.com (www.lifecoachellen.com). 

Positive Parenting – Creating Trust with Our Children 

Tammy Sassoon 

One of the most important principles for building strong, trusting relationships with our children is learning to be non-judgmental, even when our children make poor choices. If we want our children to cooperate with us, they need to feel that they can make mistakes without us thinking less of them. The reality is that we all respond better to people who maintain a positive opinion of us, even when we stumble. 

Case In Point  

Take, for instance, the recent case of a mother who came to me seeking advice about her sixth-grade daughter. Her daughter had been caught taking items from her classmates’ bags and desks. Understandably, the mother was furious and deeply concerned. In her mind, this behavior crossed a serious line, and she was struggling with how to be supportive without condoning her daughter’s wrong actions. 

When we face situations like these, disappointment can be a very understandable and natural reaction. It doesn’t mean that we should make a decision based on our emotions. I advised the mother to offer her daughter support, despite the temptation to express her fury. She was hesitant, afraid that showing support would somehow signal to her daughter that stealing was acceptable. However, I reassured her that her daughter already understood that stealing was wrong. In fact, her daughter likely felt an internal struggle and needed emotional support, not condemnation. 

The mother mustered up all her strength , and approached her daughter with empathy. She said, “You must have really felt empty inside, like you were missing something. I know the real you would never want to take things that belong to other people.” This simple yet powerful expression of love and understanding allowed her daughter to feel seen and supported, even in her low moment of wrongdoing. 

Compassionate Approach 

This compassionate approach laid the foundation for a productive conversation the next day. Once her daughter felt emotionally safe, she was open to discussing the issue of responsibility and the importance of returning the stolen objects. Instead of becoming defensive or resistant, the daughter was receptive to making changes. She realized that although she had made a mistake, it didn’t mean she was a bad person. This enabled her to face the consequences of her actions, but also to feel empowered to fix her mistakes and make a fresh start. 

If the mother had chosen to yell at or berate her daughter, the outcome likely would have been very different. Yelling may have caused the daughter to feel shame or to shut down emotionally, making it much harder for her to process the situation constructively. Instead, by approaching the problem with love, the mother created an environment where her daughter could take ownership of her actions without losing her self-esteem. This approach not only helped resolve the immediate issue but also fostered greater cooperation and trust between mother and daughter moving forward. 

Understanding and Patience 

In moments like these, it’s important to remember that our children are still learning. We pray that they should make good choices. Yet we know that they will also make mistakes, just like we did growing up. Our job as parents is to guide them through these missteps with understanding and patience, showing them that while their actions may have consequences, they are still worthy of love and respect. When children feel that they are not being judged harshly, they are more likely to listen, cooperate, and learn from their mistakes. 

Ultimately, offering unconditional support when our children are at their lowest points strengthens the bond we have with them. It also teaches them an invaluable lesson: making a mistake does not define who they are. With love and guidance, they can always choose to take responsibility, make amends, and move forward. This is how we help our children grow into resilient, compassionate, and responsible adults. 

This is how cooperation and growth happen – through love, support, and trust, especially when things go wrong.

Riddles – October 2024

RIDDLE: Birthday Budget

Submitted by: Andrea S.

You’re planning to spend your birthday money taking some friends to the zoo. Is it cheaper to take 1 friend to the zoo twice, or 2 friends to the zoo at the same time – or is it the same either way?

Last Month’s Riddle:  Neighborly Dilemma

There are four houses in a row. The Wallaces live next to the Clarks but not next to the Randalls. If the Randalls do not live next to the Lodens, who are the Lodens’ immediate neighbors?

Solution: The Wallaces!

Solved By: Claire Shamah, Eli Sabbagh, The Blum Family, Bella A., Meir Saieda, Haim S., Stuart Shamah, and The Shmulster.

Junior Riddle: Shopping Spree

Submitted by: Eli P.

Alan bought a pair of shoes and a tie, which cost a total of $150. The shoes cost $100 more than the tie. How much was each item?

Last Month’s Junior Riddle: The Double Letter Challenge

What English word has three consecutive double letters?

Solution: Bookkeeper

Solved By: Big Mike, H. Soleimani, Family Blum, Bella A., Carl Anteby, and Florence B.

The Lighter Side – October 2024

Good Report

Sammy was having trouble in school. That’s why his father was so pleased when Sammy came home and
reported that he got a 100 on his report card.

“That’s fantastic Sammy!” his father exclaimed. “What course did you get it in?”

“Well,” said Sammy, “I got a 20 in math, a 30 in science, and a 50 in spelling!”

Stephen B.

Chelm’s First Medical Student

Chaim Yankel from Chelm passed his exams and is awarded a place in medical school. And because he’s
the first student from his town to do so well, all his family, friends, and neighbors were very proud of him.

Six months into his training, he’s with some other medical students doing the rounds at the Chelm
Hospital with a qualified doctor. Stopping next to the records of one of the patients, the doctor takes out the patient’s X-rays and says to the group, “As you can deduce from these X-rays, this patient limps badly because both his tibias and fibulas are radically arched. So let me ask you, Chaim Yankel, what would you do in a case like this?”

After thinking for a short while, Chaim Yankel replies, “I suppose I’d limp too, doctor.”

Harry G.

Piece of Cake

Hymie was a happy fellow, but unfortunately, he was very overweight. Concerned for his well-being, his co-workers forced him to go on a diet.

For three weeks, Hymie resisted temptation, even changing his route to work to avoid his favorite bakery
– Isaac’s Bakery.

But then, one day, to the horror of his workmates, Hymie turned up at the office clutching a massive chocolate cake.

When his colleagues berated him, Hymie was quick to offer an explanation.

“I accidentally drove by Isaac’s Bakery this morning and there were so many tasty treats in the window. I thought it was basherte, that I was supposed to eat something, so I prayed to Hashem, saying, “If you want me to have one of those delicious chocolate cakes, show me a sign – let there be a parking space directly in front of the bakery. And sure enough, the eighth time around the block, there it was!”

Joey K.

Second Opinion

Something was wrong with Miriam Hymelfarb. She just wasn’t herself lately so her husband Moishe
decided she should go to the doctor. After a long appointment Miriam came out.

“Moishe, the doctor has advised me that I’m stressed and that I should take a one-month vacation to some
place tranquil like the Caribbean or the South of France. Where shall we go?”

Moishe thought about it for a second and said, “To another doctor!”

Sarah T.

Strawberry Fields

Bernstein, retired, is resting peacefully on the porch of his small hotel on the outskirts of Miami, when he sees a cloud of dust up the road. He walks out to see who could be approaching. It is a southern farmer with a wagon.

“Good afternoon,” says Bernstein.

“Afternoon,” says the farmer.

“Where you headed?” asks Bernstein.

“My farm.”

“What do you have in the wagon?”

“Manure.”

“Manure, eh? What do you do with it?”

“I spread it over my strawberry fields.”

“Well,” says Bernstein, “you should really come over here for lunch one day. Mrs. Bernstein serves sour cream with our strawberries!”

Rachel W.

Run for Your Life

Victor decided that it was time to get in shape, so he took up jogging and signed up for the New York City Marathon. Problem was, he wasn’t that strong a runner. As soon as the race started he was almost
immediately in last place.

To make matters worse, the guy who was in front of Victor, second to last, started making fun of him. He said, “Hey buddy, how does it feel to be last?”

Victor replied, “You really want to know?”

Then Victor dropped out of the race.

Molly P.

Pay Up

Morris had a very unpleasant appointment scheduled with an IRS auditor who had come to review his
records. At one point the auditor turned to Morris and exclaimed, “We feel that it is a great privilege to be allowed to live and work in the USA. As a citizen you have an obligation to pay taxes, and we expect you to eagerly pay them with a smile.”

“Wow, thank Gd,” said Morris with a sigh of relief. “I thought you were going to want cash.”

Eddie D.

Two Left Feet

Zadie Stern was coming over to take his grandson Maxie to the park.

“Okay Maxie, we’re going to the park!” said Zadie. “Go get your shoes on!”

Being only four years old, Maxie said, “Okay, but will you tie them for me?”

“Sure,” Zadie replied with a big smile.

Maxie bolted into the next room to put on his shoes, returning with a big smile and the shoes on the wrong feet.

Looking at his shoes, Zadie smiled and said, “Maxie, your shoes are on the wrong feet!”

Maxie looked down, then looked back at Zadie with a very sad face and replied, “These are the only feet I have.”

Cookie M.

Letting Go

A man named Jack was walking along a steep cliff one day, when he accidentally got too close to the edge and fell. On the way down he grabbed a branch, which temporarily stopped his fall. He looked down and to his horror saw that the canyon fell straight down for more than a thousand feet.

He couldn’t hang onto the branch forever, and there was no way for him to climb up the steep wall of the cliff. So Jack began yelling for help, hoping that someone passing by would hear him and lower a rope or something.

“HELP! HELP! Is anyone up there? HELP!”

He yelled for a long time, but no one heard him. He was about to give up when he heard a voice. “Jack, Jack. Can you hear me?”

“Yes, yes! I can hear you. I’m down here!”

“I can see you, Jack. Are you all right?”

“Yes, but who are you, and where are you?”

“I am the Lord, Jack. I’m everywhere.”

“The Lord? You mean, Gd?”

“That’s Me.”

“Gd, please help me! I promise if, you’ll get me down from here, I’ll stop sinning. I’ll be a really good person. I’ll serve You for the rest of my life.”

“Easy on the promises, Jack. Let’s get you off from there; then we can talk.”

“Now, here’s what I want you to do. Listen carefully.”

“I’ll do anything. Just tell me what to do.”

“Okay. Let go of the branch.”

“What?”

“I said, let go of the branch. Just trust Me. Let go.”

There was a long silence.

Finally Jack yelled, “HELP! HELP! IS ANYONE ELSE UP THERE?”

Sharon Z.

Urban Warfare Expert Backs Israel’s Gaza Campaign, Refutes Criticism

DAVE GORDON

“We are fighting a just war, with just means,” thundered Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu from the podium of his September 4th Jerusalem press conference. He has repeated this proclamation throughout the past twelve months of war with Hamas, everywhere from his media appearances to his July 24th address to U.S. Congress to his September 24th presentation at the United Nations.

 

Civilian Casualties

The war, Netanyahu insists, has “the lowest ratio of non-combatants to combatant deaths in urban warfare history.” He added, “We have taken efforts that no other military has taken.” Netanyahu also said Israel has provided Gazans a million tons of aid, 700,000 tons of food, medical aid, and water, among other necessities. 

Critics accuse Israel that this war has a had disproportionate number of casualties, and Israel has used excessive force, indiscriminate bombing, and has conducted a campaign to starve the people of Gaza. 

 

An Expert Weighs In

John Spencer, Chair of Urban Warfare Studies at the Modern War Institute at West Point, investigated these matters thoroughly. He determined Israel is in the right. 

Spencer was embedded with the Israel Defense Forces (IDF) in Gaza three times, last December, February, and July 2024, to “explore the campaign and operation against Hamas from multiple angles, with political and military arms.” Spencer interviewed the prime minister, the military chief of staff, division commanders, brigade commanders, battalion commanders, “all the way down to soldiers in the field.”

“I believe in not just looking at the data everybody else has, but I have a research methodology of walking the ground, observing, asking the hard questions,” said  the foremost expert in urban warfare.

“You really don’t understand the complexity of what the IDF had to face until you see the dense urban terrain. You’re walking on top of hundreds of miles of tunnels. You have a war of this scale, in a context that no military has faced in modern history.”

Spencer’s U.S. Army career spans over 25 years, including  serving two tours in Iraq as infantry platoon leader and company commander. Today, he serves as a colonel in the California State Guard as Director of Urban Warfare Training. There, he co-created and instructs the only existing course designed to improve the ability of commanders and staff to coordinate large-scale urban operations. He has advised four-star generals and Pentagon officials and has written two books.

 

Mitigating Harm

Throughout his Gaza investigations, Spencer observed clear and consistent following of legal requirements, and what is militarily referred to as “civilian harm mitigation steps.” These included evacuating civilians from certain areas by handing out maps of safe areas, real time population tracking methods, and warning shots on roofs. “Harm mitigation at a level that nobody’s ever tried,” he said of the IDF. “It’s been a unique eye opening experience.” 

“Of course, militaries have soldiers that do things that are wrong,” Spencer commented. But Israel has a system to hold wrongdoers accountable and to investigate problems that arise. 

“If Israel was trying to conduct civilian harm there, nothing shows that. Not [seen with] my on-hand research, or the numbers. Very few people have the understanding of everything that’s come before every large-scale military operation, against a defending an urban enemy.” If Israel was not following the rules of war, Spencer concludes, “Gaza would look a lot worse than it does now.”

Other military investigations, including those led by Col. Richard Kemp (a highly-decorated retired British Army officer and head of the UK Friends of the Association for the Wellbeing of Israel’s Soldiers) and Major Andrew Fox (a British Army major and war studies lecturer at the Royal Military Academy), have come to identical conclusions, Spencer said.  

Over the course of a decade, Spencer’s research has focused on military operations in dense urban areas and subterranean warfare, including Nagorno-Karabakh (Azerbaijan), Ukraine, and Israel.

 

Consistent Analysis

The charge that Israel’s response has been disproportionate or indiscriminate, is “baseless,” Spencer contends.

Each strike has a “proportionality analysis,” including determining the level of threat or value of the target, how many civilians surround them, whether it is possible to strike without harming civilians , and doing everything reasonable to prevent harm. Israel takes seriously this type of rigorous analysis, Spencer said. “There has been no actual evidence – unless you believe Tik Tok videos – of Israel targeting civilians, or any prohibited target.” 

U.S. intelligence confirms this, he said. 

Spencer contends that the accusation that Israel is trying to starve Gazans is also “a big lie,” and “the data does not support the claim.” Spencer insisted that Israel “has done everything feasible and reasonable to flood Gaza with food.” There are, however, examples where Hamas intercepted aid, sometimes shooting people to get it, then selling it at a high price. “There’s a lot of evidence showing that as well,” Spencer told Community Magazine.

 

Public Opinion

Spencer noted that Israel is “horrible at communicating operations to the public.”  If he had the ability to change things, he would “assign more resources to winning the battle of narratives on a day-to-day, hour-to-hour basis.” 

“Under the social media algorithm-driven confirmation bias, if you had negative ideas about Israel, it’s going to feed you that. Then you’re going to infer what you want.”

Observers both inside Israel and abroad have criticized the length of the war. However, Spencer asserted, “the enemy had 15 years to prepare to defend the area, meaning it’s going to require a lot of force to overtake the enemy.”

 

Projections for an Israeli Vicory 

For Spencer, a win for Israel would look like the following: Hamas is virtually eliminated, Gaza is demilitarized, the hostages are freed – and afterwards would come reconstruction and deradicalization. (Netanyahu has called for something similar, adding to the list the importance of securing of the Philadelphi Corridor, a narrow strip of land situated along the entirety of the border between the Gaza Strip and Egypt – that otherwise would be porous to smuggling.) 

Spencer proposed starting with “the inkblot strategy,” also known as “the inkspot strategy.” This is a military strategy for subduing a large hostile region with a relatively small military force. The force starts by establishing a number of small safe areas dispersed over the region. In this case, it would be a small and secure area of Gaza, to bring about more stability in the area.

“Even when I was operating as a junior soldier in Baghdad, we put concrete walls around everything. People don’t like those, but it created safe neighborhoods. And then we found people within each neighborhood to be the security force of that neighborhood.”

Spencer wrote in an August 21 Foreign Affairs column, “[Hamas] is much shakier today that it was on Oct. 7,” owing to the death of hundreds of its leaders, minimization of weapons and units, as well as crushed infrastructure.

 

Israel’s Ethical Stand

Israel has made significant progress in the Gaza war, despite formidable odds. These include Hamas’s strategy of using civilian shields, storing/firing weapons in places internationally recognized as neutral zones (such as hospitals, schools, and mosques), and booby-trapping buildings where arms are stored. Despite the other side playing dirty, Israel has taken the moral high road, protecting civilians, allowing and even providing humanitarian aid, and putting its own soldiers at risk to protect Gazan innocents. Although, much of the world criticizes Israel, military expects, such as those cited above, give testimony to Israel’s being in the right, and going to extreme lengths to protect innocents. 

We pray that soon the war will end, and our enemies will be vanquished.

Holiday Menu for Growth

Frieda Schweky

After Labor Day, the number one thing on every mom’s mind is back-to- school shopping and preparing for the holidays. The moment the kids get off to school our minds turn to holiday prep. Since it’s our job to take care of clothing, our family, and cooking the meals, holiday prep is mostly physical. We plan what we’re buying, and making, then we shop and prepare. Generally, we don’t have time to think about the spiritual part of Elul, which is so important. Isn’t the whole point of the holiday is to prepare your soul for the coming judgment? But the fact is, as the ones who run the household, we moms rarely have any time to ourselves to reflect and grow at this time of year, when we’re supposed to do it most. But this year, the holidays don’t start until October. Personally, I’m still busy with editing my photos from the summer (I’m a professional photographer). However, I know I have some time I can dedicate to growth. Since this is the first time in my adult life I’ve had this opportunity, I realized that I really don’t know what to do to get ready! I recognized that a lot of moms are in the same boat, so I decided to ask people who I feel really do prepare, what they do ahead of the holidays to get ready spiritually. Let’s hear from them. 

Dorit Kanik 

We need to think of our year like a business would. Towards the end of the year, we do an honest review. Check the books, what we did well, what we did wrong, what we can do better, what should I do to  invest in learning and improving, how much time can I realistically invest, and so on. We must reflect. Hashem is so kind to us, he lets us reflect and start new each year! We’re going on trial. We should prepare like a business would. We get the best lawyer (figuratively speaking), we do our best to get our story straight and prepare our plan for going forward before the judgment on Rosh Hashanah. This is no small thing, How we do determines our next year. Sit and think with a clear mind. You can make a list, what you did good, why is my life great, what do I need to work on, and so on. Evaluate your relationships. Are you a valuable friend, are the friends you keep adding value to your life or do they talk too much lashon hara? If so, maybe they’re not the best people to surround yourself with. If you’re fighting with someone, try to clear the air and make amends. Make peace. In this time leading up to the holidays, every minute of Torah counts for more, mitzvot count for more! Hashem wants to tip the scales in our favor and give us a great year. He’s our father. He loves us. The best thing for us is to put in the effort. That is what He wants from us at this time.

Sofia Schweky

This time of year, the main thing I do is I breathe and I connect inside myself. When I meditate it’s easiest to think clearly. In my opinion, our souls are already ready for the holidays, it’s our minds and our bodies that we need to prepare, so our souls have the space that we need. 

Millie Schweky

This month has so many deep and beautiful concepts, and intense energy to tap into. But, if someone doesn’t know where to get started, I would recommend figuring out how to do cheshbon hanefesh, which basically translates into taking an accounting of everything they did this past year and figuring out where exactly they need to improve.

Journaling practices are the pathways to starting cheshbon hanefesh, a yearly review and deep dive into your inner world.

Here are some journal prompts my teacher sent us starting with dealing with hardships:

What have these past three weeks taught me about myself? What were my opportunities for growth? Where could I have done better and why? What lesson am I taking from this? 

What am I proud of myself about concerning how I handled the challenge/hardship? 

What hidden good came from the hardship?

What decreases my happiness or doesn’t serve a good purpose in my life? 

How does it feel knowing this [going through hardships] is a natural phase and there’s hidden comfort that is yet to be revealed? 

What are five things I love about myself that I show others? 

What are five things I love about myself but don’t show others? 

Notice your hidden good in hopes of revealing it. Bring to the surface and engage in a dialogue with your shadow side. This can include hidden fears, suppressed emotions, acknowledging feelings, and the parts of yourself you tend to avoid.

Take the next two weeks to work on these journaling questions and be intentional with your time. Letting life happen to you is easy, but you’re not here for that. You are here to show up to your life, to make decisions aligned with your truth, and to do the real work of getting to know yourself deeper and reaching your greatest potential. Even when going through hardships, you still show up for yourself.

Danielle Renov 

As Elul approaches, my whole mindset shifts to a more purposeful look backwards, in order to facilitate my looking forward toward the future.

With the arrival of Rosh Hashanah comes an almost month-long period of intense prayer and introspection. Like everything else that truly matters, I like to be prepared.

I want to determine what I really want to pray for, what my goals for the coming year are, and what areas I need to work on to achieve those goals. The answers come only through the process of a detailed internal accounting. Taking stock of what was accomplished in the last year, noticing areas where improvements could be made, and recognizing the places I haven’t begun to work on are all part of my process. 

Usually by the time Rosh Hashanah approaches I have a few areas picked out in specific categories that I want to work on for the coming year.

My process feels personal and not something I’d ever considered sharing.   However, if this helps even one person then it’s worth it to share. We all know that the process of preparing for Tishrei can be overwhelming My categories are: 

Getting close to Hashem – All the things related to how I interact with Hashem fall this category: praying, Tehillim, berachot, kavana, bitachon

Family- Seeing my role within in my family relationships and noticing where my own character traits created stumbling blocks in those relationships and focusing on working on them (patience, acceptance, quality time…).

Community – This includes everything from friends to kids’ schools, to shul, to spending time in the park and noticing where I need to work on myself. I think about the following: acceptance, lashon hara, hachnosat orchim, bikur cholim, etc. 

Self – these are the areas that I need to work on in order to build my own character and to enable myself to work on everything else. Here I include boundaries, self-respect, confidence, anger, and pride.

Adele Cohen

The two books I always want to read this time of year are Elul by Dovid Goldwasser and My Father, My King by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin. One of the main themes of the high holidays is recognizing Hashem  as our king. Especially during an election year, when we can get so wrapped up and reliant on one person winning over another, it does not matter as long as Hashem is our king. What my husband does to prepare for the holidays, as well as others do, I’m sure, is go through a Hebrew/English machzor and just read the prayers and learn what they mean. This is so important because it helps a person understand what they’re saying. Once you understand, it allows you to pray from the heart! Additionally, to take Post-it notes and write down beforehand what you want to pray for the coming year and stick them inside of your machzor. A lot of the times we think we know what we want to pray for, it’s obvious to us. And then the moment we open the book in shul our mind goes blank. This small preparation can really help you to reflect and also to remember!

Mari Gindi

The women of Deal, myself included, instituted a goal-oriented program that is really helping us get and stay in touch with Hashem. Our program started right after Oct 7th. We felt like we had to do something. We decided to learn for the protection of am Yisrael and to bring Hashem’s hesed down. We partnered up in pairs of two and we committed to read a lesson-a-day kind of book with our partner over the phone once a day. The phone calls aren’t very long but they are impactful. We’ve been learning books that are inspiring, mostly on the topic of ahavat Yisrael, shmirat halashon, and things like that. Everyone is literally on the same page and we’re all learning the same material. So, whoever I see on the street (which happens often in this small Deal community) we’re learning the same thing and we can discuss it. It’s very cool. We’re going strong and going forward and we’re going  to keep going. It’s made people a lot more aware of their actions, words, and overall ahavat Yisrael!

Now, just in time for Elul, we are starting our fifth book together. This book is geared to preparing for the high holidays. It’s a workbook. We started on Rosh Hodesh Elul, which is 40 days until Yom Kippur. Each day there is another small task we can do to keep us aware via self-introspection.

Wow, so beautiful. I hope to be able to take some of these things and apply them to make the holidays even more special. I pray that everyone has an incredible and uplifting holiday season.

Until next month,

Frieda Schweky!

Frieda is an event and portrait photographer. Check Frieda out on Instagram @ friedaschwekyphoto For photography inquiries or article topic suggestions email her friedaschweky@gmail.com

Words of Rabbi Eli J. Mansour – The Special Sweetness of Sukkot

When we think of the celebration of Sukkot, we naturally think of meals in the sukkah, waving the arba minim (four species), and the special prayers, such as the Hoshanot, which we recite while carrying the arba minim around the synagogue.

In the times of the Bet Hamikdash, however, this special holiday had additional features.  For example, an unusually large number of sacrifices were offered on each of the seven days of Sukkot, including a total of 70 bulls.  And, there was an especially intriguing ritual performed each day called nisuch hamayim – the water libation.

Throughout the year, many sacrifices – including the daily tamid sacrifice – were accompanied by a wine libation, the pouring of wine into a special pipe on the altar.  Each day of Sukkot, at the time of the daily wine libation, water was poured, as well.

On one level, the purpose of this mitzvah relates to the theme of water that features prominently on Sukkot.  The Mishna (Rosh Hashanah 16a) teaches that on Sukkot, which is observed at the onset of autumn, the world is judged with regard to rainfall, as to whether or not sufficient rain will fall during the winter months.  Hence, we approach Gd with a sample of the different types of vegetation (the four species) that depend on rain, and we pour water on the altar, as a means of praying for rain.

Additionally, however, there is deeper significance to the nisuch hamayim on Sukkot, one which gives us a more profound understanding of the nature of this special Yom Tov.

Mixing the Water with the Wine

Let us begin by noting a number of surprising features of the water libation that was performed on Sukkot.

First, the Mishnah (Sukkah 48b) teaches that the tube into which the water was poured over the altar was slightly thinner than the tube used for the standard wine libations.  The reason is that water is more fluid than wine, and flows more rapidly.  In order for the wine and water to descend simultaneously, it was necessary for the water pipe to be somewhat thinner than the pipe used for the wine.

This halachah, of course, works off the assumption that it was important for these two liquids to descend at the same time.  But the Mishnah does not explain why.  For what reason did the wine and water need to flow down to the bottom of the Temple courtyard at the same time?  Would it matter if the water flowed more quickly than the wine?  Moreover, why was it even necessary for the wine libation and water libation to be performed at the same time?  Why are these two linked at all?  Why couldn’t the special Sukkot libation with water be done after the daily wine libation?

This question is compounded by Rashi’s controversial opinion regarding these two pipes.  In explaining this Mishna, Rashi writes that although the wine and water were poured into separate tubes, these tubes then merged together, combining the wine and water.  According to Rashi, then, not only were these two libations performed simultaneously, but they were specifically intended to mix the two liquids, which then descended as a blended mixture down into the drainage system underneath the Bet Ha’mikdash.  Although Tosafot and other commentators challenge Rashi’s position, his view needs to be understood.  What connection is there between the daily wine libation and the special water libation performed on Sukkot?  Why did they need to be mixed?

The answer begins by an examination of the Biblical source of the nisuch hamayim obligation.

Nowhere does the Torah explicitly command pouring water on Sukkot – which is why, incidentally, the heretical Sadducee sect (“Tzedukim”), who rejected the rabbinic oral tradition, and followed only the strict, literal meaning of the text – opposed this practice.  However, the sages found a number of subtle references to nisuch hamayim, one of which appears in the command to offer wine libations to accompany the daily tamid sacrifice.  The Torah speaks of this daily wine libation with the seemingly repetitive expression “hasech nesech” (Bamidbar 28:7).  The rabbis inferred that the terms “hasech” and “nesech” refer to two different libations: the standard wine libation, which accompanied the tamid offering each day of the year, and the additional water libation which was done on the seven days of Sukkot.

It turns out, then, that the Torah introduces the mitzvah of nisuch hamayim in the context of the daily wine libations.  From the sages’ reading of “hasech nesech” it seems clear that the nisuch hamayim obligation is required on Sukkot as part of the daily wine libations.  This is not a separate mitzvah that is observed on Sukkot, like eating in the sukkah and waving the four species.  Rather, the Torah commands that on Sukkot we perform the daily libations in a unique fashion – together with water. 

This easily explains why the water libation was performed on Sukkot simultaneously with the regular wine libations, and why, according to Rashi, these liquids were actually mixed together.  The Torah precisely commands that on Sukkot, the standard wine libation accompanying the tamid sacrifice must be performed in a special way – together with wine.  The mitzvah is precisely to mix these two liquids.

Diluting Judgment with Mercy

What remains to be understood, then, is the meaning behind this mixing of water and wine.  Earlier, we mentioned that the obligation of nisuch hamayim is part of our prayer for plentiful rain during the winter months.  But if this were the full extent of the meaning behind nisuch hamayim, then why would the Torah require mixing it with wine? 

The rabbis explained that the mixing of the wine and water on Sukkot symbolizes the kabbalistic notion of mituk hadinim – the “sweetening of the judgments.”  Like all kabbalistic teachings, this concept lies well beyond the grasp of our limited comprehension.  Nevertheless, we will endeavor to understand the idea behind mituk hadinim on a level that is accessible to us.

Throughout the Yamim Noraim (High Holidays), we are subject to dinim – harsh judgment.  We are all guilty of certain misdeeds, and thus during this period of din (judgment), when Gd applies strict justice, we face the risk of being found culpable and deserving of punishment, Heaven forbid.  Therefore, during the Yamim Noraim, we are in a state of fear, and we repent and beseech Gd for forgiveness in an effort to protect ourselves from the dinim.

We might have thought that once Yom Kippur ends, and we begin the festive season of Sukkot, the force of the dinim no longer prevails, and we now enter a period characterized by compassion and grace.  But in truth, the dinim remain in force even during Sukkot.  However, instead of responding with fear, attempting to shield ourselves from the dinim, we are able to “sweeten” them, and transform the harsh judgment into kindness.  This is because on Sukkot, we come before Hashem not with fear, but rather with joy.  The Talmud famously teaches that repenting out of fear has the effect of erasing our guilt, but repentance driven by genuine love of Hashem goes even further – actually transforming our guilts into merits.  When we joyously celebrate our relationship with Gd, we not only earn forgiveness, but earn His special love and affection.

We need the period of fear, the days of the Yamim Noraim, to begin our process of repentance and change.  The prospect of harsh judgment shakes us from our complacency, and motivates us to take steps to improve.  But once we complete this stage, we advance to the next stage, which is teshuvah me’ahavah – repentance out of love.  On Sukkot, instead of reflecting on our wrongdoing and wallowing in remorse, we festively rejoice over the great privilege we have to serve our compassionate, loving Creator.  And this joy brings us much more than forgiveness – it achieves the “sweetening of judgments,” the transformation of our guilt into sources of merit, thus bringing us great blessings.

This is symbolized by the merging of the wine and the water on the altar.  The red wine signifies harsh judgment, whereas the fresh, life-sustaining water represents love and mercy.  The joy of Sukkot, the exhilaration of our relationship with Hashem, has the effect of pouring “water” onto the “wine,” in a sense “diluting” the judgments, thereby arousing Gd’s love, compassion and kindness, which we hope will remain with us throughout the coming year.

Why is this so important for us to know?

There is an unfortunate phenomenon of “High Holiday Jews,” of Jews whose attendance in synagogue and general involvement is limited to the Yamim Noraim.  I want to emphasize that these Jews should be warmly welcomed and made to feel at home; no Jew should ever be made to feel uncomfortable in the synagogue or at any religious function because of his or her level of observance.  However, this phenomenon is most unfortunate – not only because our religion is relevant to our lives each and every day of the year, but also because the Jewish experience must never be seen as focused primarily on fear.  Torah life is not about being scared, about avoiding the wrath of a harsh, mean, vengeful Deity.  Quite to the contrary, Torah life is meant to provide unparalleled joy, fulfillment and meaning.  Observing the frightening Yamim Noraim without then festively celebrating Sukkot and Simhat Torah is like stopping in the middle of a trip without reaching the destination.  The dread and fear of judgment is meant to be followed by a period of unbridled joy, celebrating our special relationship with Hashem.

The special “sweetness” of Sukkot reminds us that Jewish life is to be joyous, vibrant and full of positive energy.  It prepares us for cold, dark, dreary winter months by injecting within us a healthy dose of enthusiasm and rigor, reminding us that we are privileged to live as Gd’s faithful service, and to thus be worthy of His unlimited blessings.