Halachic Perspectives on Feeding Tube Removal: The Nancy Cruzan Case

Rabbi Yehuda Finchas

In 1983, 25-year-old Nancy Cruzan was involved in a car accident that left her in a persistent vegetative state, requiring a feeding tube to survive. Her parents requested the removal of her feeding tube, arguing that their daughter would not have wanted to live in such a severely disabled state. However, the hospital refused to remove the feeding tube without court approval.

The case eventually went to the Missouri Supreme Court, which ruled that Nancy’s parents could not have the feeding tube removed. In 1991, the U.S. Supreme Court, in a landmark decision, authorized the removal of Nancy Cruzan’s feeding tube, and she passed away shortly afterward.

Without delving into the legal technicalities, what does halacha say about the removal of a feeding tube?

Halachic Perspective on Self-Starvation

Rabbi Yosef Karo, author of the Shulchan Aruch and Bet Yosef, explains that to starve oneself to death is included in the Biblical prohibition against suicide. This is evidenced by the fact that an oath to abstain from eating for seven days is considered invalid. The Rambam (MishnehTorah, Shavu’ot 1:7) writes that anyone who swears to abstain from food for seven days is guilty of taking a false oath, receiving lashes, and may eat immediately. The reason for this is that such an oath constitutes an intent to transgress a Torah prohibition -essentially, an oath to kill oneself. Therefore, the oath is invalid (Bet Yosef, Y.D., 236).

Fasting and Endangerment of Life

If a person endangers his life by fasting, it is considered an act of possible suicide, even on Yom Kippur. Hacham Ovadia, zt”l,  (Yechaveh Daat 1:61) writes: “If there is concern that fasting may endanger someone’s life, one must listen to the doctor and eat on Yom Kippur, as pikuach nefesh (saving a life) overrides the mitzvah of fasting. If the sick person insists on fasting, far from being pious, they will be punished for it.” Since eating is a matter of life and death, they should be forced to eat (Radbaz, quoted by Sheyarei Kneset Hagedolah, O.C., 618).

Autonomy in Halacha and Medical Treatment

While Judaism values autonomy and recognizes free will, this does not extend to the right to take one’s life or violate Torah laws. A person must live according to halacha, which limits autonomy and free choice in certain circumstances. Therefore, patients cannot autonomously refuse potentially beneficial or life-saving treatment. These principles shape the halachic position on tube feeding – Judaism prioritizes the preservation of life, considering patient autonomy only in exceptional circumstances.

The Obligation to Provide Nutrition to a Goses

Even a goses (a dying person) must be provided with nutrition and hydration, as long as it does not pose a choking hazard: “One should not feed a goses since they cannot swallow, but one can place liquid in their mouth, such as extracted broth from salvia, from the sage plant, to enable them to speak” (Sefer Hasidim, 234). This applies equally to tube feeding (Igrot Moshe, CM 2:74:3, Nishmat Avraham, Vol. 5, p.155).

Conclusion on Removing a Feeding Tube

In conclusion, the removal of the feeding tube actively shortened Nancy Cruzan’s life and is therefore halachically forbidden. Hacham Yitzhak Yosef (ResponsaRishon Lezion, EH 25) writes that it is forbidden to shorten the life of a patient, even if they are in a persistent vegetative state. Regarding the precise extent of the liability, see Rambam (Rotzeach, 3:10), who classifies various forms of causing death by restricting access to food and drink. Halacha does not differentiate between withholding milk from a baby, withholding nutrition from someone in a persistent vegetative state, or withholding tube feeding from an advanced dementia patient who cannot take food orally. In fact, the first practical application of Kibud Av Va’em (honoring parents), as stated in Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 240:4, is to feed one’s parents. One may certainly not shorten a person’s life by withholding nutrition and hydration from them.

Promises Made, Promises Kept

Frieda Schweky
Growing up, I thought I’d NEVER be interested in politics. Ever since Trump entered the scene in 2015 I’ve been hooked. I think my generation (millennials) crave authenticity and we think Trump is authentic! We don’t want two-faced politicians. We’re not interested in the sameold politics. We want and deserve to know the truth and Trump seems to be the agent for that.

Word on the Street

I was in Brooklyn this last weekend to visit my parents. I noticed that my parents’ neighbors on Bedford Avenue  were talking about  Trump and what he did to improve our country the past week. One neighbor said, “So, what’s new with Trump?!” My dad answered that Trump was very tough with Zelensky, the President of Ukraine. Although many may disagree with Trump’s treatment of our ally, my dad and his neighbors believe Trump did an amazing job advocating for the American people.  One of Trump’s first moves was removing DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion) policies from government agencies including the private sector and the military. Many felt this was important because it challenged the idea that it was reasonable to promote people based on their skin color or other externals. Rather, it makes sense that one’s skillset and merit should be at the top of the list of what is important. I believe that our military should be strong, not colorful. I think that promoting individuals based on their race is not right. However, doing so was a major goal of the past administration. In fact, many of the things Trump did when he first took office were designed to reverse a number of Biden’s policies, which many of us found objectionable.

Women’s Sports

Trump made a campaign promise to bar transgender women from women’s sports. On February 5^th, he signed an executive order that put this into effect.In Maine, instances were cited where transgender women competed in women’s sporting events, contrary to Trump’s executive order. At the 2025 winter meeting of the National Governors Associationthis past February, the president censured the governor of Maine for not complying with his executive order. He noted that even though her constituency is somewhat liberal (Harris won in Maine in the last election), barring transgender women from women’s sports is what the American people want. And if Maine does not comply they willlose federal funding.

Supporters of the ban on transgender women competing in women’s sports feel that there are serious repercussions for allowing men who have become women to participate in women’s sports. Biologically, males are stronger than females. There have been many cases where transgender girls and women have unfairly beaten their female-from-birth opponents. Girls and women are discouraged from participating in sports where they fear they are at an unfair disadvantage with former boys and men competing.

Jews and Israel

Trump has consistently shown hisstrong support for Israel, including its right to self-determination and to defend itself. On March 5^th,Trump met with eight former Israeli hostages, Iair Horn, Omer Shem Tov, Eli Sharabi, Keith Siegel, Aviva Siegel, Naama Levy, Doron Steinbrecher, and Noa Argamani. The president listened intently to the former hostages’ stories about the horrors they experienced on October 7th, about their friends and families that were brutally murdered, and the unspeakable conditions they lived under in Gaza. Immediately after the meeting Trump sent an Instagram message to the former hostages’ captors. “’Shalom Hamas’ means Hello and Goodbye – You can choose. Release all of the Hostages now, not later, and immediately return all of the dead bodies of the people you murdered, or it is OVER for you,” Trump wrote on Truth Social. “I have just met with your former Hostages whose lives you have destroyed. This is your last warning! For the leadership, now is the time to leave Gaza, while you still have a chance,” he added. “Also, to the People of Gaza: A beautiful future awaits, but not if you hold hostages. If you do, you are DEAD! Make a SMART decision. RELEASE THE HOSTAGES NOW, OR THERE WILL BE HELL TO PAY LATER!” This is the kind of leadership we needed on October 8^th, 2023.Let’s not forget the president’s announcement of his plan to relocate the people of Gaza and make it beautiful again. It has received a lot of flak from the Arab world, but I think that’s the best idea anyone’s had to-date.

Anti-Semitism on Campus

Since October 7th, Jewish students on many college campuses have not felt safe. They have met with threats, bullying, and physical violence. Trump has come out strongly, stating that anti-Semitism on campus, and elsewhere, is unacceptable. The U.S. Department of Justice is sending a federal task force to ten universities – George Washington University, Harvard, Johns Hopkins, NYU, Northwestern, UCLA, UC Berkeley, the University of Minnesota, and USC – where Jewish students and faculty have been left vulnerable to rising anti-Semitism. The task force aims to combat unchecked anti-Semitism and ensure Jewish students can learn in a safe environment. 

Additionally, the Trump administration has cut $400 million in federal grants and contracts with Columbia University because of what the government describes as Columbia’s failure to squelch anti-Semitism on campus. Trump’s message that there will be consequences for our enemies both here and abroad is so refreshing and honestly is just incredible.

My Personal Take

As a Jew and as an American, I felt like my government did not care much about me and my problems. My tax dollars were funneled  overseas or used to aid illegal aliens that were flooding in. I felt that I was the last to be considered. Now, I feel differently! Trump is working to abolish income tax, and I am thrilled, as I’m sure many are. He’s thinking out of the box in terms of how to make our country rich in ways that don’t involve the government’s appropriating our hard-earned money. I am honestly confused when I hear that some people are against any of the president’s policies. However, those who favor Trump are now in the majority, and I thank Gd for that.

I smiled when I saw a news alert stating that the Trump administration revamped the CBP One  app, which was formerly used to process asylum claims at the southern U.S. border. Now, the app has been reimaged as a platform for “self-deportation.”The idea is to get illegal aliens to deport themselves, with the hope that they will be allowed to return legally in the future. I believe this is another way Trump is making America great! We have an obligation to help the homeless, our veterans, and low- and mid-income families who need support. I believe we have overextended ourselves when it comes to immigration.I believe that immigration should happen slowly and with intention. We are not anti-immigration. How could we be- we’re all immigrants! We simply want immigrants to be vetted properly.

I honestly can go on and on about the amazing things that Trump has been doing for us and Israel, but I digress. Hashem thank you for saving Trump and for causing him be elected president. Please bring Mashiach as he is our true savior!

Until next time,

Frieda Schweky!Frieda is an event and portrait photographer. Check Frieda out on Instagram @friedaschwekyphoto. For photography inquiries or article topic suggestions email her friedaschweky@gmail.com.

Leon Sakkal

Yes, it’s that time of year again! As we clean out the cabinets, sweep the floors, and make all the necessary preparations for Pesach, it is important to remind ourselves of the many meaningfullessons and values we transmit to our children at this special time. 

“Let My People Go!” 

When finally agreeing to let the Jewish people leave Missrayim, Pharaoh instructs Moshe, “Go and serve Hashem, your Gd – butfirst, mi va’mi ha’holchim?” – “Just who will be leaving?” Moshe replies, 

“Bi’narenu u’bizkenenu nelech”— “With our young and our old we will go.” The question arises: why does Moshe mention the young before the old? It is no secret that we, as Jewish people, always give precedence to our elders. Why, then, the uncharacteristic choice of phrasing? 

The answer is one of the essential principles of Passover and of our Jewish tradition. 

Pharaoh agrees to let the Jewish People go, but before giving Moshe the absolute “green light,” he needs to know precisely who will be going. Men? Women? Children? For he fears Moshe will take his most significantmembers of Jewish people: the children. 

Well aware that Pharaoh fears the emancipation of the young, Moshe first stresses “bi’narenu” as if to say, “Indeed, we will be taking our young.” It is then that Pharaoh withdraws his sanction. 

The Evil Strategy 

Although this may shed light on Moshe’s choice of words, one cannot help but wonder: What is so significant about the Jewish children that Pharaoh does not want to let them go? 

In the Purim story, we find a similar interest taken by King Ahashverosh. There, the king throws a tremendous party, inviting everybody “mi’gadol ve’ad kattan” both great and small, young and old. But is it not strange? Surely most people would not want children running around a party of such magnificence and grandeur! And so again we wonder: Why the special interest in the little ones? 

On the night of Pesach we can truly understand the intention of Pharaoh, Ahashverosh, Adolf Hitler, and all of the wicked men who have tried so desperately to annihilate us.   

Throughout history, our enemies have realized that the key to both the construction and destruction of the Jewish people is largely dependent on their youth. “If we get the kids,” they muse, “the rest is history.”    

The frightening truth is that this tactic has not disappeared with time. Modern-day villains likewise prey on the innocence of the young. In fact, a recent study shows that more than 75 percent of ISIS and Al Qaeda terrorists recruited from the United States are teens!   

Both past and present tyrants understand that Jewish children are the lifeline of the Jewish faith, the future of our Holy Torah and traditions. Making it so that Jewish children are disconnected from our People would surely threaten the future of Am Yisrael. 

The Seder Night 

Perhaps it is more apropos to transmit our people’s ancient story on Succot, when we leave the comfort of our homes to reside in huts. Surely that is deserving of a “Mah Nishtana?” Yet, it is only on Pesach that we entice our children to ask questions, and teach them the story of our redemption. We are commanded, “Ve’higadeta le’bincha,” to tell our children. On the surface, the instruction seems fair and reasonable: Give the kids a nice lesson in Jewish history. This, of course, is incorrect.    

With the recital of the Haggadah we achieve far more than a mere history lesson. We ensure that those who seek our destruction donot have their way by infecting the pure minds of our youth. This is why we tell the age-old story of our exile and redemption from Egypt exclusively on Passover. 

Transmitting our Story  Understanding the wicked intention of Pharaoh can inspire us to have a more meaningful seder. Knowing that our own children are the target of all who seek our demise, we should do our best to transmit our heritage with pride. This seder night, enlighten your children regarding the gratitude they should feel – not only for being part of the Jewish nation, but for belonging to such a unified community. They are so fortunate to have such an extended family.

Yehudit Gindi

You never believed you would make it to the finish line, but here you are, and you’re pretty sure you aren’t dreaming. As you behold the dining room table adorned with your Pesach finest, you realize that you have overcome what once seemed to be a near-impossible feat. After weeks of backbreaking labor, you can relate to those who have climbed to the peak of Everest, for seder night has finally arrived.

At the seder, each person is supposed to feel as if they were redeemed from the harsh slavery of Egypt. For the woman, whose raw hands are a testament to all the sweeping, spraying, sautéing, and scrubbing that she has been up to, this is no problem.  Just as the Jewish people witnessed Hashem’s miracles during the redemption, the Jewish wife and mother experiences Hashem’s miraculous hand in her Pesach preparations each year. So don’t fret. When you find yourself knee-deep in the pre-Pesach pandemonium, rest assured that with the help of these tips, and of course with the ever-present help of Gd, your seder will be spectacular.

Get It All Together

We’ve mentioned it in these pages before, but it is so crucial that it bears repeating: make a list of all the things that you will need on the seder table. Without a written list, the to-dos will be just a big mumbo-jumbo in your mind that will create loads of unnecessary pressure. So put pen to paper and you’ll be off to a successful start. 

Kadesh, Urhatz…

What if you can’t seem to remember exactly what the seder calls for? Well, here’s one way to refresh your memory. When making your “Things for the seder” list, you can either go to Google, or you can take out a Pesach Haggadah. While taking extreme caution to keep it far away from any food, sift through the pages. You’ll probably find a picture of the seder plate and all the significant foods to display, as well as the order of the seder. As you notice items you will need, write them down. (Some key items to remember: haroset, the shank bone, hardboiled eggs, and celery, just to name a few!)

Shulhan Orech

Once all your kosher-for-Pesach dishes have been dusted, washed and dried, you can begin setting your seder table. You’ll want to do this hours before the seder begins so you’re able to walk into the main event relaxed and prepared. An elegant white or ivory tablecloth makes for a stunning backdrop; just be sure to cover it with plastic, since you can expect several grapejuice spills. Rhinestone napkin rings are eye-catching accents, and they will complement all types of silverware. Complete the décor with a nice floral centerpiece, and your table is ready.

So the Children Should Ask

The purpose of the seder is to pique the children’s curiosity so they’ll ask questions and give you the opportunity to fulfill the mitzvah of telling about the Jewish nation’s redemption from Egypt. So, to prevent the kids from falling asleep on top of their marror-filled matzah sandwiches, make the seder kid friendly!  Have incentives ready for children who ask great questions or say the Mah Nishtanah. Bring the Pesach story to life by investing in some bright, colorful Haggadot so the children can follow along. And don’t forget some prizes for he or she who discovers the afikoman!  Before you know it, it will be 2am and your children will be awake singing the “Had Gadya” finale with gusto!

Getting Some Zzz’s…

Speaking of staying awake until 2am, which is likely to happen on seder night, it is a must for your children to take a nap pre-seder. You know how it goes: the kids will resist, but you must insist! This way, the children will be well-rested and ready for loads of fun and learning come seder time. Oh, and moms are allowed to take naps, too! So if you can manage to find even a half-hour, try to squeeze in even a short catnap. The seder is a magnificent time, but putting it all together can sometimes seem like an arduous journey. But you’ll be there soon enough, and you can pat yourself on the back knowing it’s the culmination of all your hard work. When you finally sit down and see the smiling faces of family and guests surrounding you, you’ll know that the hours of effort were well worth it.

Ellen Geller Kamaras

Our February issue featured an article about the ancient Eliyahu Hanavi Synagogue in Damascus, Syria. Since Assad’s departure, Jews are now allowed to visit the site once again.

Mr. Murad (Mordechai) Guindi, a member of Congregation Shaare Zion, read the article in CommunityMagazine and asked to share his personal story about another ancient synagogue, the Beit Knesset Hagadol, the Great Synagogue, in Kniss Kibereh in Aleppo.  This synagogue is where the Aleppo codex was housed for over 500 years until it was removed during the 1947 Aleppo Pogrom. Murad actively led the rebuilding of this shul beginning in 1976.

I had the honor of meeting Mr. Guindi and Mr. Albert (Avraham) Zarif, a Jewish studies teacher in Syria, who was the baal koreh at the Kniss Kibereh Shul in 1976.  Murad, a successful businessman and devoted member of the community, shared accounts and pictures of the shul’s history and of his life in Aleppo. His dedication to the Great Synagogue, his descriptions of the discrimination and anti-Semitism in Syria, and his struggle to move his family to America and help other Syrian Jews to leave, were truly moving. 

Using false Muslim passports, Mr. Zarif escaped from Syria in August 1981 with his wife and two young daughters.  They stopped in Paris for six months and then made their way to New York.  Albert has been a teacher at Magen David Yeshivah since his arrival in the US and is also a hazan and baal koreh at Congregation Shaare Zion.

A Little History

Let’s add some context to the Great Synagogue’s history and the difficult environment for the Jewish community in Aleppo in the 20^th century. 

According to Murad, the shul was built in the 9^th century BCE by Joab ben Zeruiah, the nephew of King David and general of his armies.  Also known as the Central Synagogue of Aleppo, it was situated in the old part of the city in the Jewish Quarter.

Syria gained independence from France in April 1946 and the new Syrian government began its persecution of Jewish residents.  Akiva Feinstein, the Haganah‘s illegal immigration operative, reported  that the Syrian government fired all Jewish clerks employed by the French bureaucracy and attempted to suppress all Jewish businesses. 

Murads personal narratives confirmed the oppressive economic and civil situation in Syria in the fifties, sixties, and seventies.

Reverberations of the UN Vote

In 1947 there were 10,000 Jews (dating back 2,000 years) in Aleppo at the time of the UN Resolution 181 vote that called for the partition of the British mandate into a Jewish and Arab state.

In 1947, following the UN vote,  the Great Synagogue was set on fire during the Aleppo Pogrom and was mostly destroyed.  Mobs attacked and destroyed shuls, five schools, an orphanage and a youth club, and Jewish stores. Many houses were burned and destroyed. 

In 1948, Egypt, Syria, and Iraq took Jewish property and imposed large fines on their Jewish communities.

Exile of Jews from Aleppo

Fifty percent of Aleppo’s Jewish population left after the Aleppo riots.  Most of the remaining Jews emigrated to other countries when Assad allowed the Jews to leave Syria in 1992.

After the second wave of immigration of 1992, no Jews remained in Aleppo.  Only nine Jews are left in Damascus. Most are older men, who are led by Bakhour Chamntoub, 74.  

Henry Guindi, Murad’s father, owned a profitable sporting goods store that was looted and destroyed in 1947.  Miraculously, he found money that was hidden in a tennis ball container inside the store. He determined who the money belonged to and contacted the owner, promising to keep the funds safe for him. 

Discrimination Reminiscent of WWII Germany

Murad also shared that Jews were not permitted to hold a license to drive a car.  He was able to obtain a motorcycle license at the age of 18.  However, he was not allowed to wear a helmet, as those were reserved for policemen.  At one point, his license was confiscated by the police per the instructions of the Minister of Interior.  Murad found out that his license was taken because a Damascus Jew had forged his license papers.  Mr. Totach, chief of the Jewish Community in Damascus, introduced Murad to the Muchabarad, similar to the FBI, and helped him get his license back.  When Murad went to the government building to retrieve his license, it was in a file six inches thick, containing information about the Guindi family.

All Jewish identification cards were stamped in red to indicate the holders were Jewish, reminiscent of the Nazi’s treatment of Jews in Germany and other countries.

The Revival of the Great Synagogue

During the 1970s, very few of the remaining Jews in Aleppo lived near the Great Synagogue. Most of the Jewish community, including Murad and his family, lived in the newer part of Djamilieh.  In 1976, he was approached by his friend Albert Zarif, who was discouraged about the situation at the shul. Although he walked to the Great Synagogue to read the Sefer Torah every Shabbat, only four or five men were showing up, not enough for a minyan.

Murad asked Albert to go to shul the next day and he committed to bringing a minyan for Shabbat.  He succeeded in getting ten men for a minyan that Shabbat.  After the shul was repaired and expanded within the next two years, sixty percent of the community members started to follow Murad to this old part of the city every Shabbat. 

Another surprise was that instead of the usual donation for an aliyah l’ Torah of one Syrian pound, the ten men donated a total of 600 pounds – more than was usually collected for hagim.  With the increase in attendance, more space was needed, as they had been praying in a very small room. Murad started to repair the left side of the shul with the contributions he received.

At the time the Syrian government did not permit Jews to do business. So, Murad had to be creative in getting the shul rebuilt. He enlisted Christian and Muslin businessmen to file the paperwork on behalf of the Jews.  Murad hired a Muslim architect, Sadik Mufti, to assist him with the documentation needed to rebuild the Great Synagogue.

There were no restrooms in the shul, which necessitated the use of a neighbor’s bathroom.   A new entrance for the shul and a restroom with sinks and toilets were constructed.  The windows  and the teivah where the Sefer Torah was kept were repaired.  The Aleppo Museum staff helped Murad repair the teivah.  Murad’s brother Raymond had drawn a sketch of a beautiful menorah for the shul.  Murad hired a designer to create a metal menorah from the drawing and it was placed prominently in the shul.

The Keter Torah went missing in 1947 when the synagogue was set on fire.  Some say that the Mr. Murad Faham took the Keter to Israel.

The Israeli government issued a beautiful stamp of the Great Synagogue in 1987.  The picture on the stamp was from the Byzantine period.

Murad recently heard that there were three layers of tombs discovered ten feet underground below the Great Synagogue.

Tombs were also found below the ancient Eliyahu Hanavi Synagogue in Damascus.

The Gindi’s Life in Aleppo

After his sporting goods store was looted in 1947, Henry Gindi (you will remember he was Murad’s father) created a wholesale business with the help of his friends Ezra Cohen and Zion Betesh, who moved to Lebanon in 1949.  Henry earned commissions on this venture until 1956. In 1956, Murad joined his father.

Murad married his wife Linda in 1962. That year he opened a variety store in the Aleppo business district. The Guindi family was fortunate to have these businesses as most of the Jewish community was poor. The Jews relied on contributions sent from the United Jewish Appeal (UJA).

Linda and Murad’s six children were born in Aleppo, four boys and two girls.  The youngest was born in 1971.

Murad’s Journey to Meet Stephen Shalom

With the help of Mr. Totach, Murad was able to visit the U.S. in 1975. He brought his mother with him for two months. The two of them wanted to see Murad’s brother who was there. The Syrian embassy in the US extended Murad’s and his mother’s visas from two to four months. Murad persevered to meet with Sephardic Jewish community leader and philanthropist Mr. Stephen Shalom, zt”l, to enlist his help to save Syrian Jewry.

Mr. Shalom’s father had immigrated from Aleppo to the US and after he was settled, he sent generous amounts of money to help Jews in Syria. Stephen Shalom was born in Brooklyn. He championed the cause of freedom for Syrian Jewry and served in key roles at major Jewish organizations.

Mr. Shalom said his proudest achievement was working with NYS Democratic Representative Stephen Solarz, with the blessing of President Jimmy Carter, in 1977 to bring Jewish Syrian women who wanted to marry within their faith to America.

Murad was invited to meet Mr. Shalom in Manhattan at the Israel Discount Bank.  But Murad feared for his life if the Syrian government back home were to learn  he had met someone at an Israeli bank. Murad attempted to see Mr. Shalom at the SITT Shul on Ocean Parkway but was unsuccessful.  Murad decided to take the risk and he met with Mr. Shalom at the Israel Discount Bank. In a three-hour meeting Mr. Shalom asked Murad how they could get Jews out of Syria. Murad replied if he knew how, he would have gotten his family out. Mr. Shalom was impressed by Murad’s command of English and by his accomplishments and his advocacy for Syrian Jews.

Mr. Shalom took Murad to UJA’s office to discuss the stipends being sent to Syrian Jewry in Aleppo and Damascus.  Murad succeeded in pushing for an increase to the stipends.

Further Travels

In 1976, Murad obtained a passport to go to China for business.  He was the only Syrian Jew to go to China.  He went to China once from Syria and once from the US.

Murad returned to the U.S. in 1977.

Murad also spoke about his brother Joseph, who, after being severely beaten on his way home from school when he was 13, escaped to Lebanon.  He remained in Lebanon from 1955 until 1967.  Another  brother of Murad’s and Joseph’s, Victor, escaped to Lebanon as well.  Victor, his  wife Nadia, his brother Raymond, and his sister Esther stayed in Lebanon with Nadia’s family.  Ninety Jews who managed to flee Syria hid in a shul in Lebanon until they were aided by non-Jewish Lebanese residents who helped them to escape to France and then to Israel. 

Murad was arrested in the seventies on the border of Lebanon when he attempted to leave Syria. He was tortured and was kept in prison for six months.

Mr. Totach, Jewish Community Chief, was able to get permission for Mr. Shalom and his uncle Bert Shabbot to visit Murad in Aleppo.

In a picture of Murad with Mr. Shalom during his 1976 visit to Aleppo, there is also a Syrian man, Zaki Shayo, who was imprisoned with another Jew from 1966 to 1967.  No one had a clue where these men were. Murad worked to secure their return, contacting Red Cross officials and even writing to UN Secretary General U Thant in the early seventies.  He never received a response from. U Thant.  BH, Mr. Zaki was released in 1977.

Yellow Journalism

In 1975,American journalistMike Wallace of the popular CBS program “60 Minutes,” came to Damascus and visited Jewish schools, businesses, and shuls.   Wallace insisted on meeting Murad then, but Murad refused even after the Muchabarad had authorized it.  He claimed he was too busy.  Murad did agree to be interviewed by another reporter, Tito Howard, from the UK.  The Muchabarad was present for that filming.

Murad agreed to meet Wallace in New York later in 1975.  Wallace asked Murad to say positive things about the Syrian government, but he could not. 

In 2006, CAMERA, Committee for Accuracy in Middle East Reportingand Analysis, reported that in 1975 and 1984, Wallace filed reports on Syria that minimized the oppression of Syrian Jews and obscured the dictatorial nature of Assad’s regime. 

The Guindi Family Reunited

Murad went to the U.S. seven times. On the sixth visit, in 1981, he succeeded in bringing his wife and three oldest sons to New York.  He then returned to Syria to work on getting out the three youngest children, aged 9, 13, and 15.

Due to long delays, Linda went back to Syria to be with the children. Murad visited the Lubavitcher Rebbe to get a beracha to bring his family to America.  He still has the dollar bill that the Rebbe gave him.

It took three attempts to smuggle his wife and young children out of Syria and into Israel through Turkey. The family was reunited in New York by December 1982, a Hanukah miracle.

Murad’s parents came to the U.S. in 1984.

Is it safe for Jews to travel to Syria?

Sarina Rofee, President of the Sephardic Heritage Project and Chair of the JewishGen Sephardic Research Division said, “I do not believe it is safe for Jews to travel to Syria. The nation is filled with civil unrest and [now has] an unstable government. Civil rights are still in question. The Syrian Jewish collective memory of life there from 1948 until 1994 was filled with hardship, persecution, and lack of civil liberties. There was no government protection from the constant harassment by Arabs. With a constant state of war with Israel, Jews in particular are not safe in Syria.” Some are very interested in retrieving treasures left in Syria. Sarina said, “I have complete trust that Israel will retrieve any religious artifacts or documents found in the synagogues.”

I am grateful to Mr. Guindi and Mr. Zarif for sharing their personal stories.  Thanks to people like them, the Syrian Jewish heritage continues to thrive. Both men have provided testimonies to Sephardic organizations and museums.

---

Ellen Geller Kamaras, CPA/MBA, is an International Coach Federation (ICF) Associate Certified Coach.   She can be contacted at ellen@lifecoachellen.com (www.lifecoachellen.com).

QUESTION:

Dear Rabbi Ali,

I’m not sure if this is an issue but it does bother me a lot. I find it hard to connect with my wife due to the fact that she is very quiet and doesn’t speak much. She was always quiet and reserved, but it never really bothered me until recently. Baruch Hashem, we don’t fight but I would  still appreciate some advice on how I can connect with someone who doesn’t speak much.

R’ Ali’s Response:

I would like to start with something that Rabbi Shimon Gruen mentions often. If something bothers you, then it’s not trivial. Which means that we all have certain things that bother us and certain things that we’re okay with. What one considers unbearable, someone else may not even notice. Some people can’t handle a messy house while others could care less. The point is, if it bothers you, then you should address it. Now, that doesn’t necessarily mean it is a problem, but you’re entitled to ask and search for a solution.

It’s also important for people to know that the person that they married is the same person that they are seeing now, months or years later. You mention that your wife was always quiet. Not to be cynical, but she is who you married. People should know who they’re marrying and accept who they are. Don’t expect someone to change who they are, or even worse, to try to change them. Of course, it goes without saying, unacceptable behavior should be corrected or at least acknowledged.

You mention that you don’t fight. That’s not a small thing in the slightest. It’s the literal definition of shalom bayit,a peaceful home. Unfortunately, there are many people who cannot say the same and pray so hard to be able to say those magic words, “We don’t fight.” Of course, we should always be striving for more and that’s wonderful when people want to better their relationship. It’s important to put things into perspective and realize what is actually going on. Many people equate shalom bayit with, “where I’d like my relationship to be.” Which means, if it’s not where I’d like it to be, my shalom bayit  isn’t great. I don’t believe this is true. As I mentioned, shalom bayit means peace in the home. Two people that respect each other, don’t fight, and communicate on a basic level definitely seems peaceful to me.

One more idea before I attempt to answer your question is that you mention this didn’t bother you until recently. I don’t know how long you’re married, but it’s definitely worthwhile to think about why this didn’t bother you when you got married and why “ all of a sudden” this started to bother you. It could be that you have more on your mind and need to talk things out. If that’s the case, you should acknowledge that it’s not your wife’s shy nature and maybe find a friend or family member to speak to more at length. This is just one idea and I could be way off on the reason I am giving you. My point is to give you food for thought and maybe you can identify yourself why all of a sudden this bothers you.

How do you connect with someone when they don’t talk much? Of course, there are people who talk less and are shy by nature, but I have noticed that even shy people can be very talkative. Most people open up and speak a lot when they are in their comfort zone. Some people need to be very relaxed or very comfortable with the person that they are talking to. Others need to be in the right setting. I know many people who open up when they go for a walk or out to eat. There are also many people who have a lot to say but get interrupted often which gives them the cue to just not speak at all.

As I mention often, we should never forget the importance of praying to Hashem and asking Him for assistance, no matter how small we may think our issues are.

Inspiring conversations with the women shaping our community, one story at a time.

“Fitness has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. As a child I loved walking everywhere, and by high school I got my first gym membership. The gym became my safe space – a place where I could feel strong, confident, and clear my mind.”  – Yael Dayon

Ellen Geller Kamaras

Please meet Yael Frasko Dayon, a passionate mother, wife, and fitness trainer who keeps many of our community women in Long Branch, NJ, healthy and strong.

Yael’s parents, Liat and Yosef Frasko, are of Syrian descent. Yael is the second of seven children and is close with her siblings. She attended Yeshiva Ateret Torahfor elementary through high school.

A social and friendly child, Yael loved being active and in motion and won sports competitions during high school. She admits that she found it challenging to sit at a desk for long hours.

“My favorite part of the day was always gym class – I was naturally athletic and loved sports.”

Fulfilling Her Vision

After high school, Yael went straight to a hands-on sales job, not wanting to work at  a desk job. After work, she would head to the Sephardic Community Center gym, where she trained friends for fun. “Fitness was something I had always loved, and over time it became more than just a hobby.”

Yael turned her passion into a career.  She started with a few clients, training them for free, just to gain experience. Next  she enrolled in school to become a certified fitness instructor. After earning her certification, she started training clients professionally and later began teaching classes at DSN Community Center, which inspired her to open her own home studio.

Yael is also a certified boxing trainer, certified nutrition coach, and is AED (Automated External Defibrillator)/CPR certified.

During the summer of 2023, Yael worked with Nutrition by Tanya as an EMSCULPT tech and earned the honor of employee of the month. She helped women gain confidence about their bodies and view themselves as strong, powerful, and beautiful.

And Then Came Marriage

Yael met her naseeb, David Dayon, one year her senior, through mutual family members and they clicked right away. David, also of Syrian descent, grew up in the Deal area. He works in ecommerce, advising and managing companies on Amazon. 

Yael moved to New Jersey when she married David ten years ago. Living away from Brooklyn was hard at first, but thanks to Yael’s work and dedication, she has built a fulfilling social life and a supportive community in New Jersey.

The couple has been blessed with four children.

Yael’s Essence

Yael describes herself as friendly, outgoing, hardworking, organized, and continually growing closer to Hashem. She is also warm, positive, and energetic. 

Having children was pivotal for Yael. She desired to feel strong and confident in her own body, and that fueled her passion for helping other women feel the same way.  Yael wanted every mother to feel proud of her body through its changes and to embrace becoming the strongest and best version of herself. Yael also understood that prioritizing fitness plays a crucial role in supporting the mental health of mothers, giving them a necessary outlet for self-care and personal well-being.

“My proudest accomplishments are getting my certifications, and empowering women in my community while balancing my career and family life.”  Having a nutrition certification enables Yael to guide her fitness clients about eating healthily.

Work/Life Balance

Yael’s fitness career allows her perfect work/life balance, giving her the flexibility to work from home, set her own schedule, raise her family, and be involved in the Jewish community.

“Balancing work and home life can be challenging. Mornings are hectic, knowing I have a client coming ten minutes after my kids get on the bus.  Some days, I miss out on personal time or the ability to drive my kids when they want, but the trade-off of being my own boss and setting my timetable is worth it.”

Yael starts her day at 5am with her own workout, followed by prayer, breakfast, and getting her kids ready for school. Her first client arrives at 8:40am, and she usually sees clients until the early afternoon and then she is free for her children. Yael works some evenings,as well. 

Over the years, she has transitioned from cardio to weight training, realizing that the heavier she lifted, the better her results and the stronger she became. She noticed the same pattern with her clients.  The more they focused on strength training, the less pain they experienced daily and the more energetic they felt, as opposed to the exhaustion that often comes with excessive cardio.

Yael is grateful for the huge and beneficial impact her career has had on her family. Her children have grown up seeing their mom prioritize fitness and the value of strength and health. Fitness has become a natural part of their lives. “We don’t focus on being skinny but on being strong and healthy. My family is proud of my career, and I know I’m setting a positive example for my children.”

The pandemic was a major turning point for Yael’s fitness business. With big gyms shutting down, people needed a space to train, and that’s when her home training and classes really took off. It afforded Yael the opportunity to build a strong clientele and expand her reach in ways she hadn’t expected.  As an extra boost to her business Yael started to sell juices and healthy desserts. Her clients are primarily women aged twenty and over.  Sometimes shealso trains high school students.

Community

Yael is deeply involved in the Syrian community and teaches in DSN. One of the most wonderful aspects of her career is training people she sees every day, building friendships, and strengthening the community. “Fitness isn’t just about working out – it’s about creating connections and supporting each other in our health journeys.”

For Fun

Yael enjoys activities that allow her to unwind while taking care of her body. That includes lifting weights, going for a run, or spending time in the sauna.  Self-care time slots for massages or recovery time are also a must for her.

Tips

Yael encourages young people to follow their dreams. “Don’t be afraid to start. Everyone begins somewhere, and success comes from consistency, dedication, and hard work. No one achieves success overnight.”

Although there were many instances where Yael questioned whether her career would work, she pushed forward. Over time, she is proud to have formed a strong clientele and a thriving business.  Her challenges helped her grow.

Connect with Yael on Instagram @yael_dayon or by text 703-853-6340. Ellen Geller Kamaras, CPA/MBA, is an International Coach Federation (ICF) Associate Certified Coach.  Her coaching specialties include life, career and dating coaching.  Ellen can be contacted at ellen@lifecoachellen.com (www.lifecoachellen.com).