If you or a loved one needs help, call (718) GET-SAFE. All calls are confidential. For more information, visit www.thesafefoundation.org.

Every year, The Safe Foundation holds a single, vital fundraising event – one that fuels the lifeline we extend to individuals and families in crisis. With no other fundraising campaigns throughout the year, this annual event is not just important, it’s essential to the continued operation of our clinics, programs, and educational initiatives. As a community-based nonprofit serving Brooklynand Deal, we rely on the generosity of donors who believe in our mission: to support individuals coping with addiction and related challenges through comprehensive, compassionate, and culturally competent care.

Founded in 2003, The Safe Foundation has helped over 10,000 people reclaim their lives. What began as a small initiative to address substance use and gambling addiction in our local community has evolved into a multifaceted organization that treats addiction, nurtures families, educates youth, and promotes holistic wellness. Our impact is felt in schools, synagogues, clinics, and homes – and with your support, we can continue to meet the growing and urgent needs of the community we’re proud to serve.

A Holistic Approach to Healing

The foundation of Safe’s work is its client-centered clinical services. Our licensed outpatient clinics in Brooklyn and Deal offer substance use and gambling addiction treatment providing accessible and personalized care. Our experienced team of credentialed professionals creates tailored treatment plans that respect each client’s history, cultural background, and personal goals.

Addiction doesn’t happen in isolation and neither does healing. That’s why we offer robust support to the family members of those in treatment, recognizing that recovery is a journey best taken with a strong and informed support system. Through family therapy, psychoeducation, and counseling, we help loved ones navigate their own challenges and contribute meaningfully to the recovery process.

We don’t stop at treating addiction. At Safe, we view prevention and education as core to our mission. That’s where our extended programs come in, each one targeting different stages of life and areas of need, always with the goal of strengthening the community from within.

Our youth-focused initiative, Project Safe, delivers vital prevention education to grades five through twelve for one period per week throughout the entire school year in over ten schools in Brooklyn and Deal. This program helps middle and high school students understand the risks associated with substance misuse, vaping, and gambling, and equips them with the tools to make healthy choices. Through school partnerships, interactive sessions, and real-life stories, Project Safe empowers students to take control of their futures before problems begin.

Treatment, Empowerment, and Prevention

Prevention isn’t just about saying no to drugs – it’s about helping young people understand why they matter and how they can protect their mental and emotional well-being. Project Safe’s strength lies in its relatability: our educators speak the language of teens and meet them where they are, helping to create safer, more informed communities from the ground up.

Raising children in today’s world is not easy, and parents often feel unprepared to address the complex emotional and behavioral issues their kids face. Our Safe Parenting program offers educational workshops and events for parents seeking to raise confident, resilient children.

Safe Parenting helps families build strong foundations, enhancing communication, reinforcing boundaries, and promoting emotional intelligence. By focusing on empowerment, we help parents guide their children through life’s challenges without turning to harmful coping mechanisms like substance use or disordered eating.

Another essential component of our holistic model is The Mindful Eating Project. Eating disorders and body image struggles are deeply entwined with emotional health, and this program offers education, support, and healing for those who struggle in silence.

Through community events, workshops, and partnerships with credentialed professionals, the Mindful Eating Project opens up conversations about binge eating, dieting, movement, and body acceptance. It is designed to serve those who may be recovering from an eating disorder or simply seeking a healthier relationship with food, exercise, and self-image.

By integrating intuitive eating, mindfulness, and body-neutral language, the Mindful Eating Project helps people move away from shame and toward self-compassion. It’s another way Safe supports the community not just in crisis, but in building lifelong wellness.

Rooted in Community

What makes The Safe Foundation unique is our deep connection to the community we serve. Our staff, board members, and volunteers live and work in the neighborhoods where our clients live. We understand the unique cultural and familial dynamics that shape behavior and influence recovery, and we tailor our services accordingly.

Our programs are grounded in respect, trust, and cultural competency. Whether it’s a teenager attending a Project Safe class, a parent learning new tools through Safe Parenting, or a client receiving therapy at our clinic, every person who walks through our doors is treated with dignity and care. We don’t just serve the community – we are the community.

Why Your Support Matters

The Safe Foundation runs year-round programming and serves hundreds of clients at any given time. Every dollar raised directly supports clinical care, school outreach, parenting education, and wellness programs. Your donation enables us to say “yes” when someone calls for help. It ensures we can keep our doors open, our counselors available, and our services accessible to all who need them.

Please join us Friday morning, June 27^th, at 9am at the home of James and Ricci Haddad for our 22^nd Annual Breakfast Fundraiser, where every donation brings us one step closer to safeguarding our community’s future. Together, we can build a healthier, more resilient community.​

We invite you to be a part of our mission. Attend our fundraiser. Make a donation. Share our story. Together, we can continue to offer hope, healing, and holistic support to the people who need it most.

To donate Venmo @safe-foundation, or visit our website at www.thesafefoundation.org/donate.

If you or a loved one needs help, call (718) GET-SAFE. All calls are confidential. For more information, visit www.thesafefoundation.org.

Love and Fear

How do we work through the negative forces inside of us?

Rav Wolbe (Alei Shur, Vol. II, p. 363) recommends having a discussion with those forces: “Listen, I have no choice here. Hashem is my King; He’s the Boss over my impulses and urges, too. I am responsible for all my deeds. Gd gave me so much, and I owe Him so much. So do me a favor, guys, and just behave.”

Positive self-affirmations are powerful tools, which help cultivate a more positive and optimistic outlook on life. They allow us to reframe our negative thoughts and beliefs, replacing them with positive, empowering ones that help us to feel confident, motivated, and capable.

By taking control of our inner dialogue, we can influence our emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in a positive way, leading to greater well-being and success in all aspects of our lives.

Regularly repeating positive affirmations helps to ingrain them in our subconscious mind, allowing them to shape our beliefs and attitudes. This can lead to a ripple effect, positively impacting not only our own self-perception, but also our relationships with others, our work performance, and our overall life satisfaction.

Whether it’s affirming our worth, reminding ourselves of our strengths, or simply focusing on the good in our lives, the power of positive affirmations should not be underestimated. By making self-affirmation a daily habit, we can harness its potential to transform our lives for the better.

Now, one may ask, “What if I don’t want to get up in the morning in time to say Kriat Shema, especially on a Sunday morning?”

That’s when we have to remember that this is not the real us. The yetzer hara has stolen our identity, convincing us that we don’t want to get up. Actually, we want to get up; it’s the yetzer hara that doesn’t want us to get up. And the yetzer hatov, which is speaking to us in second person, has to say, “Do you know what you owe Gd? You’re sleeping on His mattress. You’re living in His house. The least you can do is get up in time and pray.”

We must have a dialogue with ourselves, to figure out how to cajole ourselves into doing the right thing.

But it’s a little bit deeper than that.

The Gemara (Sotah 47a) says that when dealing with a tinok, a child, one must employ the dictum: “S’mol docheh v’yamin mekarevet – The left hand drives away and the right hand draws near.”  According to Rashi, if we’re too tough on a child, he is going to run away and commit suicide out of fear. Pull him close with the dominant hand, the right one, and only use the weak hand, the left one, to push away and to discipline him.

Essentially, this is a carrot and stick approach to motivation, and actually mirrors the way we are supposed to motivate ourselves regarding our relationship with Hashem: love and fear.

Love-based motivation refers to the drive that comes from a positive, internal force such as a desire for happiness, fulfillment, or connection with others. Love-based motivation helps individuals pursue their goals and aspirations in a way that is aligned with their values and sense of purpose. It leads to feelings of happiness, satisfaction, and a sense of belonging, and can be a powerful force in overcoming challenges and obstacles.

Fear-based motivation, on the other hand, is driven by an external force such as the fear of failure, rejection, or negative consequences. While fear can be a powerful motivator, it can also lead to stress, anxiety, and a lack of confidence. However, when used in moderation, fear-based motivation can help individuals to avoid dangerous or harmful situations, and to take steps to protect themselves.

The end-goal is to find a balance between the two. When individuals are driven primarily by love, they may overlook important practical considerations or avoid taking necessary risks. When they are driven primarily by fear, they may become paralyzed by anxiety or become overly cautious. By balancing love-based and fear-based motivation, individuals can find a healthy and sustainable way to pursue their goals and aspirations, leading to greater well-being and success.

TAKEAWAY:

As will everything else in life, balance is key. In order to be the best oveid Hashem possible, work on ways to serve Him out of both love and fear. 

Victor Cohen

In recent years,responding to plans to build a casino on Coney Island, right in our backyard, many throughout the community voiced their opposition to the project, and campaigned against it. Thanks in part to these efforts, the project has been struggling to receive the approval of the relevant municipal bodies.

The reason for the widespread opposition in our community should be clear and obvious. Easy access to a casino would, without question, lure many – particularly youngsters – to try out gambling. We all know that gambling is not only inconsistent with our Torah values, but also highly addictive, often destructively so.

Meanwhile, as this battle continues to be fiercely waged, a different gambling crisis has arisen – one which has already embedded itself deeply within our community: sports betting.

A Handheld Casino

Recent years have seen a surge of online sportsbooks and sports betting apps, which are promoted by torrents of advertisements. DraftKings, FanDuel, ESPNBet, BetMGM, and countless other sportsbooks offer free bets to ensnare newcomers. They also partner with celebrities and players, put out live promotions during games, and invest heavily in enticing users to keep betting on games. These sites and apps have, tragically, brought large numbers of youths into the clutches of gambling addiction, creating a whole generation of compulsive gamblers.

Let’s be honest about what many of these online sportsbooks are: a casino located in your pocket, or in the palm of your hand. They allow users to play the full range of typical casino games on their phone. Shockingly, every smartphone is now a Coney Island Casino.

This scourge of online gambling poses a grave threat to our community youngsters.

To learn more about this challenge, which has quickly become a full-fledged community crisis, I sat down with Ike Dweck, the founder of the SAFE foundation –an outpatient drug, alcohol, and gambling addiction facility, with clinics in Brooklyn and Deal. We spoke about the dangers of the sports betting apps, the tactics they use to get users hooked, as well as Ike’s own struggles with gambling and his heroic journey to break free of addiction. We also discussed potential solutions that are currently in the works, and warning signs for those concerned about a friend or child.

“They Don’t Really Care”

Already in 1992, Congress acted to protect our society from the dangers of sports betting, passing the Professional and Amateur Sports Protection Act, or PASPA, which prohibited states from allowing sports betting. But in 2014, the State of New Jersey, under governor Chris Christie, challenged the law’s constitutionality by legalizing sports betting within the state.

“People in New York would start gambling on their phones by just going over the bridge into New Jersey,” Ike recalled.

The NCAA (National Collegiate Athletic Association) sued the state, demanding that it enforce the federal law. The case continued under current New Jersey governor Phil Murphy and reached the Supreme Court in 2018. In Murphy v. NCAA, 584 U.S. 453 (2018), the Court voted to strike down PASPA, thus leaving the decision of whether to allow sports betting up to states. As more and more states followed New Jersey’s lead and legalized sports gambling, the industry of sports betting apps quickly surged, growing into the frightening behemoth that we unfortunately see today. In New York, due to lobbying from DraftKings and FanDuel, online sportsbooks became legal in January 2022.

And so when you turn 21, you are allowed to set up an account through an online sportsbook, which offers an enticing bevy of free bets. Most of the apps give you a few hundred dollars to “play” with. You cannot withdraw this money – you must spend it on a bet, playing their game. This is the primary method these online sportsbooks use to pull in innocent, unsuspecting users – they offer free bets, enabling the new customer to experience the thrill of gambling. This all but ensures that they will come back and continue playing with real money, and even long after these companies made back the money they “lost” by baiting the newbies.

“The website and casinos – they don’t really care,” Ike said. Why should they? They make loads of money off people’s addictions, hardships, and struggles – and will gladly continue to make money if left to their own devices. There is lots of money to be made from addicts. There is money to be made by placing all those expensive advertisements during sports games, given the potential for huge profit if they can get someone to sign up. There is money to be made by having a user place even just one too many bets.

The “free bets” convince your brain that gambling and betting is not just good, but exciting, something that gives you a high. Once that happens, you can easily get hooked and end up coming back again, again, and again – and the greatest thing any company can have is a repeat customer who uses its services frequently.

In other words, addiction is these businesses’ best friend. And so getting people addicted – and keeping them addicted – is their modus operandi.

A Minefield of Triggers

This brings us to their second important strategy –ubiquity. Flooding the internet and airwaves with advertisements helps not only to bring in new customers, but also to bring back customers who had succeeded in breaking loose.

A recovering alcoholic can avoid bars and liquor stores to protect himself from temptation. But a recovering sports betting addict has almost no way of avoiding the lure of gambling. An eye-opening essay in Scientific American(January 23, 2025) by Allison Parshalltitled,“How ‘Dark Patterns’ in Sports Betting Apps Keep Users Gambling” describes the difficult challenge faced by recovering gambling addicts trying to stay away from these apps: “A lapsed customer who receives a push notification, e-mail or text with an enticing ‘limited time’ offer for 10 ‘free bets’ might be someone with a gambling problem who is trying to quit.”

Parshall draws an analogy to a person dealing with alcohol addiction who, after several weeks of sobriety,is approached on his way to work by the fellow who runs his favorite bar, and he says, “Here, take a free shot of tequila!” It would be exceedingly difficult for the recovering alcoholic to decline. This is precisely what happens to recovering gamblers all the time.

“You can’t watch a baseball game without a commercial telling you to bet,” Ike said.

For a recovering addict, commercials promoting the online sportsbooks create a minefield of triggers that can easily get them sucked back in, especially considering the ease with which these apps can be accessed. One of the great benefits of modern technology – having everything at our fingertips, allowing us to check our email, write up proposals, fill orders, text, call, take pictures, work accounts, and do just about everything with just the tap of a few buttons – is a major pitfall for gambling addicts. The next bet is just a few button taps away. All it takes is the right advertisement during a football game, the right push notification at a time when the algorithm knows you’re looking at your phone, the right offer at the right time, to hook the recovering addict back in and get more money out of him.

It takes just a few taps on your screen to gamble away your entire week’s paycheck – and it takes the same amount of taps to lose a whole year’s paycheck, and even to bet away all your life’s savings. For a compulsive gambler, it is like a giant hole at the bottom of hisfinancial boat, which can cause it to sink at any moment.

Underage Gamblers

“Everybody’s desperate and thinks it’s easy to win,” Ike explained, further noting that although the apps ‘require’ you to be 21, it just does not work like that in practice. “People steal their parents’ credit cards, social security numbers, and open accounts as young as 13 or 14 years old. The email is in their name so their parents would never know.They’ll go on FanDuel and just open an account.”

Unfortunately, that is not the only way underage children can gain access to the online sportsbooks.

“They have friends who have brothers who have accounts who let them bet every night,” Ike says, and – just as in the case with drug addicts – once the money runs out to support their addiction, they find ways to get more. This could be by lying, manipulating those around them, or even stealing from their parents and pawning off jewelry. Once they are addicted, they will do whatever it takes to be able to continue their compulsively betting.

The SAFE foundation has, since its inception, always dealt primarily with alcohol and drug addiction, but this past year, the number of clinical assessments they conducted for gambling problems has risen by 48 percent. This dramatic increase offers a glimpse into how rapidly the issue has escalated.

It behooves us, then, to take a step back and ask ourselves: is this what we want for our future? Do we want the younger generation exposed to all this?

An Addict’s Recovery Story

In searching for solutions, there is perhaps no one better to listen to than Ike, who not only runs an organization that has been dealing with this issue for many years, but has also personally struggled with – and successfully overcome – a gambling addiction.

Ike began betting on sports when he was 12 years old. Back then, there were no sports apps, so he had to rely on other methods to place bets.

“When I was growing up,” he recalls, “there were no apps, so to bet you had to get a ‘bookie,’ who wasn’t the most honest guy in the world.”

He placed bets on all kinds of sports games, and as he got older, it took over his life.

“I couldn’t go on a vacation if it didn’t have a casino,”

His father asked him to join Gamblers’ Anonymous, and he was in and out for many years. However, he didn’t really listen to what they were telling him. This continued until he finally hit rock bottom at the age of 23. His life was out of control, he owed money to the bookies, and he was “sick and tired of being sick and tired.” He went back into Gambler’s Anonymous– and began to listen.

They told him to stop watching TV and stop reading the newspaper, because the sports section in the back could cause him to relapse. He was advised to make a list of all the people he owed, and to pay them back little by little. He was also advised to stop hanging out with the people he used to gamble with. With the help of Gambler’s Anonymous, Ike managed to find his way out.

Later, in 2003, Ike founded SAFE to help those plagued by addictions. He speaks at high schools throughout our community, telling his story and helping as many people as he can.          

“Don’t Do This Yourself”

For those currently gambling who recognize that they need to stop, the most important thing is to reach out to a professional. Compulsive gambling is an addiction, and requires professional intervention to begin the path to recovery.

“Don’t do this yourself,” Ike pleads. “You need help. Even going to a Gambler’s Anonymous meeting could help.”

For the past nine months, SAFE has been lobbying New York State Senators, explaining to them the dangers of online sportsbooks and the prevalence of underage gambling, in an attempt to convince them to change the laws in New York. The problem, Ike says, is that the State makes a great deal of money from the taxes on the gambling companies’ revenue, and so the lawmakers are reluctant to impose restrictions.

Ike concluded by offering some helpful advice for those who are concerned about a friend or family member’s possible gambling addiction.  Some warning signs, he says, are “if they’re borrowing money, or there’s a friend that always wants to play cards on Saturday night, or they’re staying up late for all the games.”

If you are worried about your child, he says, look for “missing jewelry, the kid not doing well in school, or if he’s also always asking to borrow money.”

Technology, with all its extraordinary advantages, has also presented several enormous challenges, some of which have received more attention than others. Ike and the rest of the SAFE foundation hope to draw the community’s attention to the challenge of gambling addiction, and to inform everyone of its unique risks. The first step to curing this destructive ill is spreading awareness. By working together to inform our youngsters of this alluring but dangerous activity, we can begin to tackle the problem of sports betting and help ensure a bright future for all our community’s youth.

As the temperatures rise, so does the excitement for innovative tech designed to enhance your summer experience. From smart pool monitors to robotic dogs, this year’s lineup promises to bring fun, convenience, and safety to your summer adventures. Dive into our selection of the hottest gadgets that can transform your summer into a season of unforgettable moments.

Petoi Bittle Robot
The Petoi Bittle robot is a palm-sized robot dog developed for fun but also serves as a STEM gadget. It walks, plays tricks, and rolls around just like a real dog, maneuvering on all kinds of terrains. You can teach it new skills and use it for STEM education, making it ideal for learning and research projects.

Lifebuoy Pool Motion Sensor & Alarm System
There’s no such thing as having too many safeguards in place to protect your little ones when you own a pool. The Lifebuoy Pool Motion Sensor & Alarm System alerts you if someone or something falls into your pool. Since it floats, there’s no need to drill holes in your deck or pool to secure it, and it’s portable for vacations.

Fitrus Plus 3.0
A single fingertip scan reveals seven vital health metrics that typically require multiple medical devices. It measures body fat, heart rate, oxygen levels, temperature, muscle mass, BMI, and metabolic rate. With a single charge lasting up to 20 days, health-conscious users can detect potential issues weeks before they would normally warrant a doctor’s visit.

Ordro M5
Three-axis stabilization transforms jerky amateur footage into smooth, professional-quality video with minimal effort. A 120-degree ultra-wide lens captures more of the scene while AI tracking keeps subjects in focus. The 3.5-inch touchscreen makes control simple, making the Ordro M5 a great candidate for road trip adventures.

Quick Press
Creating professional custom t-shirts typically takes hours, but the Quick Press does it in 15 seconds flat. With a 15-second transfer time, you’ll produce professional designs on shirts, totes, and other materials in minutes, making it perfect for quick and creative projects.

Lefeet P1 Underwater Scooter
Explore coral reefs twice as long with this 5-pound underwater scooter that extends your diving range exponentially. Its modular design mounts to legs, tanks, or surfboards for versatile use, transforming mobility underwater for both beginners and experienced divers.

Tornado Cargo Ebike
Capable of hauling 400 pounds at 25 mph, this cargo e-bike replaces short-distance delivery vehicles entirely. It comes with lights, turn signals, and reliable brakes. Adjustable seating and suspension ensure comfort even when fully loaded, making it ideal for urban deliveries.

X1 Auto Bed Vacuum
Dust mites multiply by millions in mattresses. This UVC-equipped vacuum eliminates what regular cleaning misses. Pet owners and allergy sufferers notice improved sleep quality after regular use, as it reaches deep where allergens hide, significantly reducing morning symptoms.

Govee Hexagonal Light Panels
If you’re looking for innovative lights to make your room more engaging, look no further than these Govee Hexagonal light panels. The LED light kit offers a unique way to create functional decorations, adding a smart touch to any space.SUTRO Smart Floating Pool Water Monitor
Do you feel like a mad scientist trying to measure the chemical levels in your pool? Eliminate the stress and guesswork with the SUTRO Smart Floating Pool Water Monitor. This monitor automatically tests your water three times a day and alerts you when you need to add chemicals, keeping your pool water clean, safe, and beautiful. It even works with saltwater pools.

When Korach, Moshe’s first cousin, launched his brazen revolt against Moshe’s authority, challenging his and his brother’s right to leadership, he brought some “big names” with him.  Like a good politician seeking to earn public support, he made a point of getting some prominent people on board.  These included 250 “princes of the congregation” (“nesi’eh edah” – 16:2), identified by our sages as the leading Torah scholars of that generation.  Korach also brought onto his team Datan and Aviram, two well-known “rabble rousers” who already had a long history – dating back to Egypt – of challenging Moshe.

These people had different stakes in the game.  Korach, the commentators explain, resented the appointment of another of his cousins – Elitzafan –to the position of leader of the Kehat family, a position which Korach felt he deserved.  The 250 rabbis were motivated by genuine spiritual longing, passionately wishing to have the privilege to serve as kohen gadol inside the Mishkan.  And Datan and Aviram, as mentioned, were always looking for opportunities to oppose Moshe.  What these people all had in common was discontent with Moshe’s leadership, and so they banded together to challenge his authority.

On Ben Pelet

In the opening verses of the story of Korach, the Torah also mentions another figure who appears to have played an important role– a member of the tribe of Reuven named On ben Pelet.  We are given no information about him, but if he is mentioned by name, it stands to reason that his participation in the uprising was significant.

This implied significance makes it especially striking that his name never appears again later in the story.On ben Pelet is listed among the main instigators, but we never hear about him again.

The Gemara (Sanhedrin 110a), noting On’s mysterious “disappearance,” fills in the missing details, telling the fascinating story of how this prominent participant in Korach’s uprising was saved from the tragic fate that befell his cohorts.On’s wifewas an exceptionally wise woman, and she saw what On could not see due to his having been blinded by Korach’s charm, and by the excitement of the controversy.  She asked On what he stood to gain by joining Korach’s revolt.  After all, if the uprising succeeded, then Korach would be the leader instead of Moshe.  On would not benefit at all.  There was no advantage to his supporting Korach.

On accepted his wife’s advice, but he said it was too late.  He had already sworn loyalty to Korach’s cause, and the rebels were relying on his participation.  He could not back out at this point.

On’s wife devised a plan.  She gave him lots of wine to drink, and he fell into a deep sleep.  When Korach’s men came to bring On to join in their confrontation against Moshe, she removed her hair covering and stood outside their tent.  Korach’s men would not approach the tent, as she was standing there with her hair exposed, and so they turned around.  On remained asleep during the ill-fated confrontation between Korach’s followers and Moshe, which resulted in the burning of the 250 men who vied for the role of kohen gadol, and in the ground opening and devouring Korach, Datan and Aviram.

Manoah

Let us leave the story of Korach, and fast forward many years, to the period of the shoftim, to a time when Beneh Yisrael suffered bitterly at the hands of the Pelishtim who were terrorizing them.

We read in the Book of Shoftim (13) – in the section read as the haftarah for Parashat Naso – of a man named Manoah who was childless for many years.  One day, an angel appeared to Manoah’s wife and informed her that she would soon bear a child who would lead Beneh Yisrael to victory against the Pelishtim.  As this child would be designated for a special leadership role, the angel explained, he would need to abide by certain restrictions.  His hair must never be cut, and he must never drink wine.

Manoah’s wifewent to her husband and told her about the angel.  Seemingly mistrusting her, Manoach beseeched Gd to send the angel a second time to explain the rules regarding the child that was going to be born.  Sure enough, the angel appeared to Manoah’s wife a second time, and she ran to bring Manoah.  When he arrived, the angel told him that he must follow the guidelines that his wife had been told. 

Later, Manoah’s wife delivered a boy, whom they named Shimshon.  As the angel promised, Shimshon led Beneh Yisrael in the campaign against the Pelishtim.

At this point, I expect the reader to wonder why this story is presented here in this article, in the context of the story of On ben Pelet.  It certainly appears that these two men have absolutely nothing to do with one another.

However, one of the great Italian kabbalists, Rav Menahem Azaryah of Fano (“the Rama Mi’Fano,” 1548-1620), taught that these stories are very closely connected.  In fact, although one took place many years after the other, they actually involve the same people!

The Rama Mi’Fano writes that Manoach and his wife were gilgulim – reincarnations – of On ben Pelet and his wife.  In both stories, the wife takes the leadership role, guiding and instructing her husband.  In the case of On ben Pelet, this is obvious, but in the sort of Manoah, too, his wife was the one who received the instructions from the angel, and, moreover, the verse states that when the angel returned, “vayelech Manoah ahareh ishto – Manoah followed his wife.”  It is clear from the story that Moah was led by his wife, just as On ben Pelet’s wife steered him in the direction he needed to go.

The Rama Mi’Pano adds that Shimshon, Manoah’s son, was to abstain from wine – which is what On ben Pelet’s wife used to save him.  And the name “Manoah” means “rest,” an allusion to On’s deep slumber during his cohorts’ confrontation with Moshe.

The question, then, becomes, what is the meaning and significance of this connection?  What are we to learn from the reincarnation of On ben Pelet and his wife, and their becoming the parents of Shimshon?

The Long Haul

The answer becomes clear in light of a mysterious feature of the story of Manoah.

We find in Tanach several stories of women who were unable to conceive.  We are all familiar with the stories of Sarah, Rivkah, Rachel, and Hannah.  Another example is the “Shunamite woman” who cared for the prophet Elisha.  In all these instances, the couple prayed for children, or had some merit on account of which they were blessed with a child.  The notable exception is Manoah and his wife.  The text gives us no indication of what they did to be blessed with a child after many years of infertility.  We do not hear about them praying or performing any special mitzvah for which they were rewarded.

The Rama Mi’Fano’s theory solves this mystery.  Manoah and his wife were blessed in the merit of On ben Pelet’s wife.  Her wisdom and her initiative saved her husband’s life, and, moreover, helped preserve the honor of Moshe Rabbenu by taking away a prominent participant of the uprising.  The reward came many years later, in the form of Shimshon.  On ben Pelet’s wife saved her husband – and so she was blessed with a child who would end up saving Beneh Yisrael from the Pelishtim.

These might seem like esoteric concepts which bear no direct relevance to us, but I would like to draw our attention to one practical lesson that we all need to learn, and that is the long-term impact of our actions.  The full reward for On’s wife came much later, well after she passed away – teaching us that the fruits of our efforts are not reaped right away, but in the future, and sometimes even in the very distant future.

Spiritual Patience is Needed

Technology has accustomed us to expect immediate results, to access information at the press of a button, to have food ready and prepared the moment we feel hungry, to experience gratification right away when we want something.  We have, I’m afraid, grown impatient, demanding “on-demand” results.

But religious life doesn’t work this way.  Torah commitment is not about immediate results or immediate gratification.  Learning Torah can be difficult and challenging, and often it is only after years of hard work that we experience the indescribable joy and satisfaction that Torah knowledge brings.People who embrace observance as adults, or who decide to raise their level of observance as adults, are likely to struggle at first before enjoying the delights of religious life.  And, we never know when and in what form the rewards for our mitzvot will come.  If we pray, learn Torah and fulfill mitzvot with the expectation of right away seeing our rewards, we will be sorely disappointed, and disillusioned.  We must be in it for the long haul.

Every prayer has value and helps us.  Every good deed we perform yields incalculable rewards.  Every small amount of Torah we learn builds us and brings us closer to Hashem.  More often than not, we will not see the value, rewards and benefits of our prayer, learning and observance, but we believe that at some point – perhaps even long after we leave this world – our efforts will bear fruit.

The Mishnah in Pirkeh Avot (1:3) urges us not to be like servants who serve their master solely for reward, and to instead serve Hashem without expecting reward.  This is not because we cannot expect rewards for our efforts – but because we never know when or how we will be rewarded.

Let us, then, commit to perform mitzvot with joy and vigor – trusting that each and every good deed is more valuable than we can ever imagine.

Sam Sutton

The 2025 M&S Softball season has arrived – and it’s louder, deeper, and more competitive than ever. With over 50 names on the waiting list, one thing’s crystal clear: if you’ve got a spot this year, you earned it.

This offseason wasn’t just about stretching hammies and oiling gloves. It marked a cultural reset. A new energy. A different intensity. Every captain came locked in, and the draft room felt more like a war room. No picks were wasted. No names taken lightly. And as the rosters took shape, so did the storylines.

Let’s break down the squads that’ll write the next chapter of M&S:

King Salomon Part Deux
Captain: Michael Sabon Salomon
Sabon set the tone for the entire draft by pulling off a pre-draft trade to acquire the #8 overall pick – giving him the coveted 1-and-8 combo. He used his top selection on Zack Ashkenazi, widely considered the best all-around player on the board. At #8, he snagged Yitz Sutton, the top arm in the draft – giving his team a bona fide ace from Day One.

From there, Sabon stacked the deck with playoff experience and big-game DNA. He reunited the veteran duo Teddy Ishak (TI) and Sammy Esses, a pairing with years of chemistry and hardware. He brought back Morris “Mo” Shamah, one of the league’s most dependable bats, and added Eric Cytryn, a respected defensive anchor and proven playoff performer.

Vandelay Industries
Captain: Sammy Seruya
Rookie captain – rising star. That’s the book on Sammy Seruya, the slick shortstop with who hit superstar status. But Seruya wasn’t shy on draft night – he took a big swing on unproven slugger Howie Hoffman, betting on upside and power. And he’ll be riding with rookie pitcher Abraham Benhamu to anchor his defense and set the tone on the mound.

Backed by key pieces like Sauly Esses, Jimmy Malakh, Bernie Pindek, and Yossi Abramson, Vandelay is an intriguing mix of high potential and proven leadership. It’s a team that could click fast – or grow into a monster by playoff time.

Texas Longhorns
Captain: Max Yedid
A familiar face is back in the saddle – Max Yedid, former M&S Cy Young winner and championship pitcher, makes his return to the captain’s chair. He drafted a veteran-heavy roster built to win. Names like Allie Marshall, Butchie Cohen, and Maurice Haber headline a squad that’s been there, done that, and knows how to get it done when it counts. Max is back – and so is the fear factor that comes with playing against his team.

Sephardic Bananas
Captain: Edmund “The Phenom” Beyda
The reigning World Series champ is back and looking to repeat. Last year, Edmund “The Phenom” Beyda captained a magical playoff run, and this year, he ran it back with a nearly identical core. His draft centerpiece? None other than his clutch companion David “Buca” Cohen. With names like Isaac Sasson, Jack Sutton, and Alan Jemal rounding out the roster, the Bananas have chemistry, confidence, and championship DNA.

Kaboom!
Captain: Uri Adler
Let’s just say… Uri changed it up this year – and it might be his best build yet. Gone is the typical Uri mold. In its place is a sleek, powerful new roster led by Sol Fallas, Nadav Auerbach, and Abraham Saka. On paper, Kaboom has speed, power, arms, and attitude. It’s a no-nonsense team that could light up the scoreboard or lock down your offense. If the vibes hold, this group is a serious title threat.

Thundering Hooves
Captain: Gabriel Abadi
Gabe Abadi did what Gabe does – drafted a crew full of high-character, high-talent, high-vibe guys. With Mark Barsano, Carlos Abadi, and Ricky Rothstein in the mix, Thundering Hooves are built for deep playoff runs. Gabe’s squads always play loose, play hard, and play for each other. He’s still searching for that elusive first title – but don’t be surprised if this is the team that finally delivers it.Stayin’ Alive
Captain: Michael Melech Solomon
He’s back. A former fan-favorite captain, Melech Solomon returns with a roster full of loyalty and edge. He went straight to the well early, drafting his longtime guys – Steven Gindi (SJG), Joe Sefaradi (Joe S), and Saul “Soco” Cohen. But what makes this team fascinating is the youth infusion. Melech rolled the dice on wild-card youngsters like Sol Assis, one of the most polarizing players in the league. High ceiling, high volatility – and if they click, Stayin’ Alive might stay alive deep into the postseason.

By Paulette Cohen and Frieda Schweky

Years ago, I (Paulette Cohen) received news that would permanently shift the course of my family’s life – my daughter was diagnosed with serious food allergies to nuts and sesame, along with environmental and animal allergies. At the time, the medical world offered very little support. We got a diagnosis, a prescription, and were sent on our way. No roadmap, no reassurance. I remember feeling completely overwhelmed. It was lonely, scary, and disorienting.

But like many parents in crisis, I turned that fear into action. First, I made it my mission to protect my daughter. Then I realized – if I was going through this, other parents must be, too. And maybe, just maybe, I could make their path a little smoother.

Since then, I’ve spent years educating myself, creating allergy-safe routines at home, and learning how to navigate a world that often doesn’t fully understand or accommodate food allergies. I started sharing my journey through a blog, which resonated with fellow allergy moms in ways I never expected. It helped them feel seen, supported, and not so alone. That sense of community is what keeps me going.

Today, I continue this work through my Instagram platform and by working directly with families to develop allergy-safe household systems. From meal planning and emotional support strategies to communication tips and action plans, I help families feel more confident and in control.

With summer approaching, we thought it would be the perfect time to share some practical advice on keeping kids with allergies (and asthma) safe during camp, parties, and social gatherings. Whether you’re an allergy parent or not, we hope this article helps you be more aware, more prepared, and more supportive of those navigating this challenge daily.

Camp Safety Prep

Summer camp is supposed to be a magical time – filled with friendships, adventure, and memories. But for allergy and asthma families, it can also be a major source of stress. The good news? With some advance planning, communication, and confidence-building, your child can have a safe and fun experience.

Before Camp: Preparation Checklist

Notify the Camp Early: Don’t wait until drop-off day. Contact the camp weeks ahead of time to discuss your child’s allergies or asthma and any needed accommodations.

Submit a Medical History: Include previous reactions, hospitalizations, known triggers, and medications. The more detailed, the better.

Provide an Action Plan: Give the camp a written allergy and/or asthma action plan from your doctor. This should explain symptoms, triggers, and how to respond in an emergency.

Stock Up on Meds: Send at least two complete sets of medications (EpiPens, inhalers, antihistamines) – one for the camp nurse and one for your child or their counselor. Double-check expiration dates!

Label Everything: Food containers, medications, clothing, backpacks – use waterproof name labels so nothing gets misplaced.

Emergency Instructions: Include medication usage, dosage, storage instructions, and step-by-step emergency protocols.

Communication with the Camp: Speak with the camp director or nurse about their emergency procedures, proximity to medical care, and who is trained in CPR or EpiPen use.

Be prepared to ask the right questions such as:  Are staff trained in anaphylaxis and asthma management? Do they monitor air quality? Can your child get pre-exercise asthma treatment?

Food Allergy Safety at Camp

Food is often the trickiest part of summer activities. Here’s how to set your child up for success:

Speak with the Kitchen Staff: Understand their food prep protocols, ingredient sourcing, and cross-contamination measures. Ask about baking activities – many allergens hide in baking ingredients!

Provide Safe Meals (If Allowed): Send allergen-free meals or snacks as a backup, even if the camp says they can accommodate your child’s needs.

Teach Food-Sharing Boundaries: Make sure your child understands never to share food or drinks, no matter how “safe” something seems.

Collaborate on Meal Planning: If the camp chef is open to it, plan substitution options in advance.

Confirm Staff Is Trained: Make sure someone on-site is trained to use an EpiPen and respond to allergic reactions.

Managing Asthma at Camp

Check Equipment: Make sure inhalers, spacers, and nebulizers are clean and in good working order.

Discuss Triggers: Let staff know your child’s specific asthma triggers -whether it’s exercise, pollen, cold air, or stress.

Monitor Outdoor Activity: Ask if the camp tracks air quality and adjusts activities accordingly.

Action Plan Awareness: Confirm staff can recognize early asthma symptoms like tight chest, wheezing, or shortness of breath.

Empowering Your Child

Getting ready for camp is not just about medical preparedness – it’s about emotional readiness, too.

Practice Scenarios: Role-play how your child should respond if they feel symptoms or are offered unsafe food.

Identify Allies: Help your child know who to turn to – counselors, nurses, friends – if something feels wrong.

Medical ID Jewelry: Consider a medical ID bracelet or necklace to alert staff in emergencies.

Teach Self-Advocacy: Let your child know it’s okay to speak up. It’s okay to say no. Their safety always comes first.

Party Time: How to Navigate Summer Celebrations

Now let’s talk about another summer favorite: parties. BBQs, birthdays, bar and bat mitzvahs – so much fun, but also loaded with food risks.

Younger Kids and Birthday Parties

As a parent, it’s heartbreaking to see your little one feel left out at a party. One of my favorite tricks? Pre-bake or buy allergy-safe cupcakes in advance and freeze them. When a birthday invite comes along, pop one out and bring it with you. That way your child can still have their special treat when the cake is served.

Go through party favors together and teach your child how to read ingredients. Even if they’re young, use these as teachable moments. Make it a rule: never eat anything from a goodie bag until we go through it together.

Older Kids and Social Events

As children get older, it gets harder. They become more aware of what they’re missing – and it’s tough to see friends enjoying things they can’t have. Summer bar and bat mitzvahs are a perfect example. It may not be realistic for your teen to bring a full meal or dessert, so I recommend feeding them ahead of time to avoid hunger and temptation.

Before the event, shift the conversation away from food. Talk about what they can enjoy.  Help them focus on fun, not food. Remind them that their worth isn’t measured by what they eat, and that avoiding unsafe foods isn’t missing out – it’s making an empowered choice.

Most importantly, normalize saying “no” to things that don’t feel safe. Even if it’s awkward. Even if everyone else is doing it. Their safety is always the priority, and they should never feel bad for choosing to protect themselves.

Sun & Skin Allergy Protection

Summer sun and sensitive skin can be a tricky combination for allergy and eczema families. Start by selecting a truly hypoallergenic, mineral-based sunscreen (look for zinc or titanium oxide, fragrance-free, and labeled “for sensitive skin”). Test any new lotion on a small patch of your child’s skin 24 hours before a full application—especially if they have a history of contact dermatitis. Encourage lightweight sun-protective clothing: long-sleeve UV shirts, wide-brimmed hats, and swim leggings can dramatically reduce both sunburn risk and exposure to potential irritants in topical products. After a day in the sun or pool, soothe skin with a gentle, fragrance-free moisturizer or an oat-infused calming balm. If your child develops redness or itchiness, apply a cool compress and let their skin air-dry before re-moisturizing.

InsectSting & Bite Precautions

Even kids without a known sting allergy can experience painful or swelling reactions – and for allergic children, stings can be life-threatening. Choose an insect repellent that’s both effective and gentle – DEET-free formulas or those based on oil of lemon eucalyptus are often less irritating than heavily scented sprays. Apply sparingly, avoiding the hands and faces of little ones. Pack a “sting kit” that includes an antihistamine, a cold-pack, soothing calamine lotion, and, if prescribed, an EpiPen. Teach older children to recognize early signs of a serious reaction  – hives, swelling beyond the sting site, difficulty breathing – and to immediately alert an adult. Dressing kids in light-colored, snug-fitting clothes can also deter bees and wasps.

Emotional Wellbeing and Peer Support

Allergy and asthma management isn’t just physical – it’s emotional, too. Help your child build confidence by creating a small circle of “allergy allies” at camp or home: friends and counselors who know how to help in an emergency. Celebrate every success – surviving a pool party without incident or trying a new allergen-safe recipe – and reinforce their resilience. Encourage them to join a local or online allergy support group where they can share experiences, swap tips, and realize they’re not alone. Above all, remind them that advocating for their health (saying “no,” asking questions, wearing a medical ID) is a powerful and positive choice.

Final Thoughts from The Nut Job Mom

Whether it’s summer camp, a backyard BBQ, or a bat mitzvah dance floor, the truth is: allergy safety is never off-duty. But it doesn’t have to steal the joy from summer. With the right prep, support, and mindset, your child can have a magical, safe, and confidence-boosting season.

ELLEN GELLER KAMARAS

“My vision as a young adult? I always wanted to be a principal and make a big impact on education. Instead, after teaching for twenty-seven years, I became a teacher coach, principal mentor, and workshop presenter. I speak nationwide.” ~~ Etti ~~

Please meet Etti Siegel, an adjunct professor, a teacher coach, principal mentor, an educational consultant and workshop presenter, a master teacher, and a writer.  Etti radiates energy and passion for her work.

Roots

Etti grew up in Philadelphia and is one of nine children, the second to the oldest. It’s not surprising that she became an educator since both her parents, Shmuel and Khana Globman, were both teachers.  Etti learned sign language as a child since four of her siblings are deaf, their deafness ranging from moderate to severe.  Etti employs sign language in her classroom. For example, she has made pesukim (verses) in Humash come alive with sign language and often includes sign language when she teaches the Ma Nishtana.

The Globmans sent their children to yeshivot in Philadelphia.  When Etti’s high school closed during 10^th grade, her parents sent her to board with family friends in Brooklyn.  She studied at Prospect Park Yeshivah where her close friend from Camp Sternberg, Rivkah Cabasso Dahan, also was a student.  “It was a dream to be able to hang out with Rivkah.  I ate my first Syrian food at her house, yum!” 

As a child, Etti was either studious or a troublemaker, depending on her teacher.  She loved reading and drama, and was often pushed into the spotlight to interpret for her brothers.

Journey to Queens

After graduating high school, Etti began her college studies and taught in day schools in Philadelphia for two years.  On a visit to her sister in Queens, Etti’s naseeb, Chaim Siegel, was visiting a family on the same block.  Her brother-in-law thought it would be a good idea to set them up. They immediately clicked and the rest is history.  Etti moved to Queens and taught close to home at Bais Yaakov of Queens in the mornings for twenty-five years, and at Yeshiva Tiferes Moshe in the afternoon for six years. 

In addition to teaching, Etti held positions as head counselor at Simcha Day Camp for nine years and Camp Dina overnight camp for four years. She and Chaim worked together for approximately 13 years at these camps.  When Etti became a coach, she stopped running camps.

Etti is proud of her husband’s first position as a successful rebbe for 19 years and his second career as a Physician Assistant/Associate at Jamaica Hospital Medical Center, a world-renowned trauma hospital.

Etti’s Evolution

After 18 years of teaching, Etti returned to school to complete her training and finally get her master’s degree in educational leadership.

It seems Etti was meant to be a teacher, as Hashem sent the Siegel’s their own little class to raise when Etti gave birth to triplets. Although their two-year-old little helper always underfoot, Chaim and Etti enjoyed this new challenge, and Etti gained a lot of insight into preemies, multiples, and the world of intervention. Though Etti and Chaim were so grateful for all the beneficial therapies, they were thankful that as the triplets grew, they no longer needed the extra help. This experience enabled Etti to help others later.

Chaim describes his wife as passionate, energetic, caring, a creative thinker, and a problem solver.  She is also dynamic, driven, organized, and outgoing. Etti says she’s an extrovert who is also an introvert at times.  When she comes home from a long day of work, she needs down time and a quiet break before she heads out again.

Fulfilling Etti’s Life Dreams

With six young children at home and almost two decades of teaching under her belt, Etti decided she wanted to complete her bachelor’s degree and then continue for a master’s degree specializing in teaching, learning, and educational leadership.

“The little girl in me always wanted to be a principal.  Instead, after many years of teaching, I became a teacher coach, principal mentor, and workshop presenter.  I am doing what I always wanted to do.  I just didn’t realize that principals don’t do what I do, they are too busy! They call me in to help them.”

Etti creates her own workshops and helps in the areas where principals need her expertise and vibrant style.  This includes observing the teachers, guiding them to make use of the best educational practices, modeling, creating exciting lessons, and managing their classrooms. Etti determines what might be going wrong and how to address the problem. She shows teachers how to make teaching more enjoyable for both the teachers and their students.  She creatively employs her knowledge of literacy, science, history, classroom management, and social and emotional learning.

“It’s lonely at the top for principals and they appreciate my support,”  Etti says. She greatly admires both the teachers who are very idealistic and want to be the best educators and the amazing principals she meets who want to run the best schools possible.

A Job Well Done

Her proudest accomplishment is helping struggling teachers become master teachers.

Etti has mentored and worked with many principals and teachers as well as parents to transform difficult experiences in the classroom. After her intervention there is a significant improvement, leading to a positive year of growth in learning. Her personal thirst for growth constantly benefits those who learn from her.

Etti currently works in several Sephardic schools including YDE, Ateret Torah, and Shaare Torah, in Ashkenaz yeshivot and day schools, and in Chassidish schools.  Etti also teaches lesson planning and classroom management at Sarah Schenirer College.

Etti gets fired up about kids, adults, and education and making learning and schools great.  “The coolest part? The schools apply for government grants for the services my fellow coaches and I provide.  My childhood friend Rivkah Dahan was a coach first and got me my first paying coaching job.”

Role Models and Mentors

Etti’s role models include first her parents and then her sister Khavi Rosenshein, who is a principal at Bnot Yaakov, a Persian school in Great Neck.  “Bnot Yaakov is the ideal of what a school should be.”

Etti’s other mentors and role models are Mr. Richie Altabe, former Head of School at Shaare Torah and current principal at HALB. Etti had the zechut of working for him at Simcha Day Camp for nine years. Rav Sholom Kamenetzky, Rosh Yeshiva of Philadelphia Yeshiva, has been Etti’s parents’ friend and neighbor ever since she was a girl. Etti felt that living so close to such an esteemed person and his wife affected how she perceives the world, and she feels blessed to have that connection.

Balance and Community

Etti appreciates that her children have absorbed meaningful messages by hearing her coaching teachers over the phone or on Zoom.  Chaim and their children are very proud of Etti’s achievements.  Several of her adult children followed in Etti’s path and became top-notch educators.

Etti thrives on going to local exercise classes with neighbors and friends. To relax and recharge, she also enjoys reading and catching up with friends.

The Siegels enjoy their small, friendly community in Kew Gardens, Queens. “Everyone celebrates everything with each other. Even though there are a few shuls, people walk over to each simcha, to each event, as one.”

Etti gives women’s Pirkei Avot shiurim in the summer in Kew Gardens. 

Challenges and Secrets to Success

Referring to herself as a wandering nomad, Etti explains her challenges and success. “[I have] no office, no place to put my stuff down.  New teachers can be intimidated to work with me, but as the culture of coaching has become normalized, this has gotten a lot better. Now teachers request help, a new and exciting development.”

Etti’s secret to success is that she loves people and especially loves helping them. “I learn so much from the people I meet and work with.  I don’t see my work as a job, but as a real privilege.  I am so fortunate!”

As a person who loves learning, Etti consistently strives to enhance her skills and is always growing professionally. When Covid hit, she learned to operate Zoom quickly, because she was suddenly teaching teachers how to use Zoom effectively.

Etti writes for The Jewish Home weekly newspaper to help schools to understand parents, and parents to understand schools, and she answers school-related questions.

Etti has also written for  HaMechanech Magazine, and the Journal of Jewish Day School Leadership.  She writes on a wide variety of subjects, including the benefits of collaboration between schools and parents that is necessary for promoting student success and allowing kids to fail.  Be sure to check her pieces out!

Career Advice

“There is nothing as rewarding as teaching! It gives you a wonderful community and keeps your neshama in a learning and growing place.”

You can connect with Etti at Professorettisiegel@gmail.com.

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Ellen Geller Kamaras, CPA/MBA, is an International Coach Federation (ICF) Associate Certified Coach.  Her coaching specialties include life, career, and dating coaching.  Ellen is active in her community and is currently the President of Congregation Bnai Avraham in Brooklyn Heights.  She can be contacted at ellen@lifecoachellen.com (www.lifecoachellen.com).