Rabbi Yehuda Finchas 

Sammy and Ikey both asked me the same question. “Rabbi, my hair is thinning and I was thinking about having a hair transplant.  Are there any halachic issues with doing so?” Even though they asked the same question, each received a different answer.  

Hair transplantation is a surgical procedure carried out under local anesthesia, during which hair is transferred from high-density areas of the scalp to low-density areas. In the July issue, we outlined three potential halachic issues with plastic surgery: whether it constitutes self-harm, whether it is permitted to endanger oneself, and whether plastic surgery is covered by the halachic mandate of healing (Hacham Ovadia, Yabia Omer, C.M., 8:12). The potential complications associated with hair transplantation, by contrast, are minimal. On the other hand, hair transplantation entails further halachic issues specific to the procedure. The first two pertain to the mitzva of wearing tefillin, while the third pertains to the prohibition of shaving the pe’ot harosh – the sideburns. 

In order to fulfil the mitzva of tefillin, there may not be a hatzitza – a barrier or obstruction – between the tefillin and one’s body (S.A., O.C., 27:4). However, Hacham David Yosef (Halacha Berurah, Vol. 2, 27:18) rules that newly implanted hair is not a hatzitza. He differentiates between a toupee, which can be removed, and implanted hair, which cannot be removed and moreover lives and grows in its new area.  Consequently, a toupee is considered a hatzitza while implanted hair is not.  

An additional concern related to tefillin is the possible requirement not to wear tefillin for a few days after the procedure to avoid damaging the transplanted hair and disturbing the healing process. May you knowingly put yourself into a situation in which you will be unable to wear tefillin for a few days? May one have a hair transplantation at the expense of missing a few days of tefillin? Obviously, if someone required life-saving brain surgery this would not be an issue. But are the benefits of hair transplantation sufficient cause to justify missing out on this mitzva? 

A further potential halachic issue arises when the transplant patient is required to shave his head prior to the procedure. It is prohibited to completely remove the hair of the pe’ot harosh (Shulchan Aruch, Y.D., 181:3). One may not shave the pe’ot and one must retain hair with a minimal length of a few millimetres. Of course, it is permitted to shave the head before performing critical brain surgery since this is piku’ach nefesh, although even then Hacham Bakshi Doron stipulates that it should be shaved with an electric shaver and not with a razor (Shu”t Binyan Av, 3:46). However, since hair transplantation is not piku’ach nefesh, there is a real issue with removing the pe’ot harosh. 

Given these halachic concerns, my answers to Sammy and Ikey had to consider the contextual factors and the specific requirements of the proposed procedures. On the one hand, Sammy is 45 years old, and happily married with six children. While he is unhappy about the effects of his thinning hair on his appearance, he realizes that forgoing a hair transplant is unlikely to affect his future. Therefore, coupled with the potential halachic issues, he decided not to have the transplant.  

Ikey, on the other hand, is a single 19-year-old who is seriously concerned that his premature balding could impact his shidduch prospects, and moreover, his balding causes him acute social discomfort.  Hacham Ovadia (ibid.) rules that cosmetic surgery is permitted to promote “shalom bayit” or to boost one’s marriage prospects. He cites Ketubot 74b where the removal of blemishes is described as healing. He also refers to another source (Tosafot, Shabbat 50b, Bishvil)  that cites that it is permitted to remove a scab to alleviate pain, even psychological or emotional pain, such as experiencing embarrassment in the company of others; “There is no greater pain than this.” This was certainly the case with Ikey. 

Upon consultation with the doctors, Ikey was informed that he would not be required to completely shave off the peot harosh.  He scheduled the procedure for the morning of erev Pesah since he would not be wearing tefillin during the subsequent week of Pesah anyway! 

Rabbi Yehuda Finchas is a worldwide expert, lecturer, and author on Medical Halacha. He heads the Torat Habayit Medical Halacha Institute. His latest book is “Brain Death in Halacha and the Tower of Babel Syndrome.” To contact Rabbi Finchas, email rabbi@torathabayit.com.

Imagine a place where the ground sparkles like diamonds under a pitch-black sky, where Earth rises in the horizon, and where the stars are always shining. This place is not a fairy tale land; it’s our very own Moon. And NASA has a mission to make it possible for people to live there! 

Long ago, astronauts visited the Moon for a short time. They hopped around in their bulky suits, planted flags, and brought back rocks. But they always had to return home to Earth. Now, NASA wants to change that with their Artemis program. They want to build a real home on the Moon, where astronauts can stay for longer and explore much more. 

To make sure everything would work out, NASA first sent an uncrewed mission called Artemis I to the Moon. It was like sending a robotic scout to check the path and make sure it was safe. Then, they planned Artemis II, where astronauts would fly around the Moon, just to see how things would go when they finally decided to land. 

The most exciting part is Artemis III. This mission will land the first woman and the next man on the Moon. They will be the first to start setting up this new home, finding places to build, and looking for ice that can be turned into water. 

NASA’s dream is to have a place on the Moon called the Moon Village. It will have houses that can be blown up like balloons and cars that can drive on the Moon’s dusty roads. There will be machines that can turn the Moon’s dust into things we need to live, like water and air. 

But why go through all this trouble? Because the Moon is a stepping stone to even bigger adventures. By learning how to live on the Moon, we can prepare to visit other planets, like Mars. And who knows, maybe one day, some of you reading this might be the ones to take that giant leap! 

So, as you look up at the night sky and see the Moon shining down, remember that it might not be long before people are living there, thanks to the hard work and big dreams of NASA’s explorers. And just like that, what once seemed like a story from a book becomes a chapter in the grand story of our adventures among the stars.  

Artemis III: A New Moon Adventure 

The story of Artemis III begins with a powerful rocket called the Space Launch System, or SLS for short. This rocket is the most powerful one ever built by humans, and it’s capable of carrying the astronauts in a spacecraft named Orion all the way to the Moon. The astronauts’ journey starts at NASA’s Kennedy Space Center in Florida, where the SLS rocket will lift off and carry them beyond the Earth’s atmosphere. 

As the astronauts travel through space, they’ll be riding in the Orion spacecraft. Orion is special because it’s designed to keep the astronauts safe and comfortable on their long journey. It’s also the only spacecraft that can bring them back to Earth at the high speeds needed when returning from the Moon. 

When they reach the Moon, two of the astronauts will board a special lander made by SpaceX called the Starship Human Landing System. This lander will take them down to the Moon’s surface, where they’ll explore the lunar South Pole. This region of the Moon is fascinating because it has never been visited by humans before. It’s full of craters and might even have ice hidden in its shadows. 

The astronauts will spend about a week on the Moon, collecting samples, performing science experiments, and observing the lunar environment. They’ll wear advanced spacesuits made by Axiom Space, which are like personal spacecraft that protect them from the extreme conditions on the Moon. 

After their time on the Moon, the astronauts will return to the Orion spacecraft and begin their journey back to Earth. They’ll bring back with them new knowledge and experiences that will help us understand our solar system better. 

Artemis III is set to be one of the most complex and exciting missions in the history of space exploration. It will build on the success of previous missions and add new capabilities that will help us prepare for even bigger adventures, like sending humans to Mars. 

The Moon Village: A Cosmic Neighborhood

In the vast expanse of space, where stars twinkle like distant dreams, a new chapter unfolds – the Moon Village. Imagine a place where astronauts live, work, and explore our celestial neighbor. Let’s peek into this lunar wonderland: 

Chapter 1: The Vision Takes Shape 

The Moon Village isn’t your ordinary village. It won’t have cozy cottages or bustling markets. Instead, it’s a collection of individual four-level units, like futuristic lunar bubbles. These units are designed to be inflatable, which means they can be compressed for transport via rocket and then inflated to their full size on the Moon! 

Chapter 2: Lunar Habitats 

Each unit is a mini habitat, a snug home for astronauts. Picture a hybrid design: a rigid titanium alloy perimeter frame for strength and a soft structural shell for flexibility. This shell has layers – a protective shield against micrometeorites and a cozy insulation layer made of open-foam polyurethane and double-aluminized Mylar. It’s like wearing a spacesuit, but for buildings! These habitats will dot the lunar landscape, like cosmic igloos. 

Chapter 3: Ice Secrets and Sunlight 

The Moon has secrets hidden in its shadows. Deep craters near the South Pole hold water ice – frozen treasure waiting to be unlocked. And why the South Pole? Because it gets plenty of daylight throughout the lunar year. Sunlight means energy! Plus, it’s a front-row seat to Earthrise – a view that tugs at the heartstrings of every space traveler. 

Chapter 4: Cosmic Community 

The Moon Village won’t be lonely. Astronauts from different countries will live side by side, sharing stories, laughter, and moon rock souvenirs. They’ll conduct experiments, study the stars, and learn how to survive in this alien world.

What Will Astronauts Eat on the Moon?

Astronauts on the Moon have a unique menu that’s quite different from what we eat here on Earth. Let’s explore what they’ll be munching on during their lunar adventures! 

Apollo Missions: The Early Days 

Back during the Apollo missions when astronauts first visited the Moon, their food options were limited. They had about 70 items to choose from, including entrees, condiments, and beverages. But here’s the twist: everything came freeze-dried and prepackaged! Imagine opening a bag of space food and adding water to rehydrate it. That’s how they got their meals. It’s like magic – just add water, and voilà! Dinner is served! 

Spoon-Bowl Packs: A Lunar Gastronomic Invention 

The Apollo missions not only marked a giant leap for humankind but also a leap for gastronomy. NASA invented something called the spoon-bowl pack for flights to the Moon. These were plastic bags filled with dehydrated food. Astronauts would reconstitute the food by adding hot water through a valve. So, picture astronauts sipping their soup or digging into their pasta from these futuristic space bags. It’s like having a meal in a pouch. 

Artemis Program: A New Culinary Frontier 

Fast forward to today’s Artemis program, where NASA is planning to send astronauts back to the Moon. Their food options are getting an upgrade. Scientists are even working on strategies to grow crops on the lunar surface! Imagine astronauts tending to tiny lunar gardens, nurturing plants in the Moon’s soil. A team of scientists at the University of Florida successfully grew small plants using lunar soil brought back during different Apollo missions. This breakthrough could mean fresh veggies for our lunar explorers in the future. 

Safety First: HACCP System 

But wait, there’s more! The safety of space food is crucial. Back in the Apollo days, NASA developed a system called Hazard Analysis and Critical Control Point (HACCP). It was all about preventing food poisoning during the journey to the Moon. And guess what? This system has become the global standard for food safety. So, when you enjoy your Thanksgiving turkey or cranberry sauce, know that HACCP is working behind the scenes to keep your meal safe and delicious. It’s like a cosmic food guardian. 

The Lunar Feast Continues 

As astronauts venture back to the Moon, their meals will evolve. Maybe one day, they’ll have lunar greenhouses filled with fresh veggies, lunar bakeries whipping up space bagels, and lunar coffee shops brewing cosmic lattes. Until then, let’s raise our forks (or space spoons) to the culinary pioneers who make sure our astronauts stay well-fed, even among the stars!

Mozelle Forman 

One of our community’s defining characteristics, for which we rightfully take pride, is hesed.  We donate generously to communal institutions and organizations – synagogues, yeshivot, and programs that help our fellow Jews in need – and we deeply care for one another, giving our time and resources whenever our assistance is needed.   

There are and have been many living examples of hesed in our community, but one of the most unique and colorful bastions of kindness was Raymond Cohen, a”h, fondly known to us as “Raymond the Barber.” He lived with a deep, profound commitment to his fellow Jew, and with extraordinary – even heroic – altruism.  

Emulating Moshe Rabbenu 

The Torah defines a hero as one who accepts responsibility for his people and looks out for them, even at great personal cost. Raymond’s dear friend Saul Ralph Tawil describes Raymond as someone who emulated Moshe Rabbenu. Moshe grew up in the safety and comfort of Pharaoh’s palace, but nevertheless “went out to his brothers” (“vayetze el ehav” – Shemot 2:11), making a point of seeing and concerning himself with the plight of his fellow Jews. Upon witnessing an Egyptian taskmaster violently beating a fellow Jew, Moshe promptly killed the taskmaster to rescue the helpless slave, exhibiting great compassion for his fellow Jew, despite putting himself at great risk. Raymond, in his humility, would have outright rejected this comparison, but he truly lived his life the way Moshe Rabbenu did – personally feeling the pain of every Jew, and committing himself to do everything he could to alleviate the pain.   

In England, where he was born and raised, Raymond was a member of a motorcycle group called the “Maccabees” that worked to protect Jews from neo-Nazis in the streets of Brighton, exposing himself to physical danger in the process. After emigrating to the U.S., he worked with the Jewish Defense League protecting vulnerable and elderly Jews from anti-Semitic attacks. 

“At night,” recalls his son, Marc, “he would go into neighborhoods that people wouldn’t go into even during the day to ‘remind’ those who harassed the elderly that there would be consequences.” 

Being a hero also means refusing to yield to even seemingly insurmountable obstacles. King David, while still a young man, stood before the massive giant, Golyat, with just his slingshot and his conviction that, in his words, “I come to you with the Name of the Lord of Hosts, the Gd of the armies of Israel” (Shmuel I17:45). Despite the grave danger and seemingly impossible odds, David stepped up to protect the nation in the name of Hashem. He did not cower or even hesitate; he saw a job that needed to be done, and dove right in. Much the same could be said about Raymond Cohen. There never was a “Golyat” that Raymond Cohen could not defeat. As his children attest, he never took “no” for an answer. No matter how difficult the challenge, he found a way to overcome it; no matter how tightly shut the door was; he found a way to open it. 

His son, David, jokingly remarked that Raymond’s refined British accent – which Rabbi David Ozeri said “could make a reading of the phone book sound interesting” – may have “opened the doors” that he somehow managed to open.  The truth, however, is that “his charm and passion for doing the right thing for others carried him through to his goal.”   

Sacrificing a Career for the Purity of the Family 

At the age of 21, after having been trained as a hairstylist since the age of 12, Raymond left London and headed to New York to find his American dream. After a “chance encounter” with his fellow celebrity hairdresser, and an old friend from London, Paul Mitchell, he was recruited to work with him at the Henri Bendel salon located in the iconic department store described as “that most elegant, nose-in-the-air store on 5th Avenue in Manhattan.” Rising to the top of his field, he took on a partner and started his own business, eventually opening up the largest salon in the country on Madison Avenue, where the price of a haircut was three digits already in the 1970s.  

His love and respect for rabbis brought him to build very close bonds with many leading Torah scholars, including the Belzer Rebbe, and Rabbi Yaakov Hillel – who called Raymond “the gadol hador [giant of the generation] of hesed.”  Hacham David Yosef lovingly recalls the time he came to Raymond’s salon 40 years ago. Raymond stopped what he was doing and spent an hour going into every Syrian store on 5th Avenue to raise money for the Hacham’s Kollel. He raised an enormous amount in a single hour. 

Raymond was especially close with Hacham David’s father, Hacham Ovadia, zt”l, and served as  his personal protocol and security attaché who escorted him to the White House, where the rabbi gave President Ronald Reagan a blessing in 1983. He even trimmed Hacham Ovadia’s hair and beard – twice! 

The relationships he forged with rabbis, and the great esteem he felt toward them, led Raymond to a drastic decision that would fundamentally change his and his family’s life.  

“The salon was not a wholesome place for his children to be,” explains his wife, Rachelle. 

Raymond credited Rabbi Isaac Dwek with convincing him that he needed to leave the hairstyling industry if he wanted his children to follow the path of Torah commitment. Remarkably, Raymond did just that, without a second thought, walking away from a very lucrative career for the sake of maintaining his family’s purity and wholesomeness.   

“My dad did everything he could to provide for the family,” Marc says, “working long hours and traveling across the country to promote his beauty products, hosting sales episodes on QVC, and even buying close-outs and selling them at the flea market. He went showroom to showroom selling men’s suits to community members, and, finally, worked in the wholesale apparel business, breaking every account that couldn’t be broken. He was a master salesman who knew how to cultivate relationships. There was no pride holding him back when it came to supporting his family.” 

The Barber’s Special Mitzvah 

But leaving the hair salon business turned out not to be “Raymond the Barber’s” last encounter with his scissors.   

“My father personified the idea that anything mundane can be elevated,” David says.  “So when he walked away from his business, he used his Gd-given talent – Sotheby’s had his hands insured for $1 million, 40 years ago – for the mitzvah of taking people out of their 30 days of mourning by giving them a Madison Ave.-haircut and a shave.  And like everything else he did, my father initiated the mitzvah unsolicited.  

Adam adds, “Whenever he saw a notice that someone was sitting shivah, he tracked the mourners down. If someone was saying kaddish in shul, he would approach them and offer to cut their hair.”   

Rachelle and their daughter, Renee Schweky, tell that 90 percent of the haircuts were done in their home. They would lay down a piece of plastic on the carpet, and the haircut would take place in the living room by the front door.   

“I have clear memories of random people coming to the house,” Renee shares. “I would ask my mom, ‘Who is that,’ and most of the time, we didn’t know. And it didn’t matter to my Dad who they were, rich or poor, or who their family was – he treated each one just the same, with respect and care.”   

Community legend Mike “the Mitzvah Man” Cohen says, “Bringing people out of mourning was Raymond’s  mitzvah. It’s known that he’s done thousands – he selflessly owned this mitzvah.” 

Caring for the Elderly 

But Raymond’s proudest achievement, one which was borne out of his love and compassion for his family – and particularly for his mother, Sophie, a”h, – was helping our community’s elderly live with dignity and happiness.   

According to his family, Raymond did not initially “believe” in nursing homes, feeling that family members should take in their elderly relatives and care for them at home. This is exactly what he and his righteous wife, Rachelle, did, caring for his widowed mom in their home for 26 years, during which time she lived as an integral member of the household. The family did not find it at all strange, or burdensome, to have her living in the home; to the contrary, they saw it as a natural part of their family life. Raymond’s daughter, Renee, recalls, “It was my pleasure to take care of my grandma Sophie, to help her get dressed and put on her make-up and jewelry.”   

But as Sophie aged and became ill with dementia, it was no longer feasible for her to live with the family. With trepidation and a heavy heart, Mr. Cohen began researching nursing homes.   

He had reservations and concerns about most of the homes he visited, and so with the safety of his mother at stake, he continued his search. Finally, he discovered the Sephardic Home for the Aged in Brooklyn, which was founded by the Turkish and Greek community that was once centered in Brooklyn, but then migrated to Cedarhurst.   

“When I met with Raymond,” recalls Michael New, Executive Director of the Sephardic Home, “he told me the only way he would admit his mom to the Home was if she could go home to his family every Shabbat. Although it was against our policy, we agreed, and Raymond or his daughter-in-law, Mazie, would faithfully pick up Sophie on Fridays and bring her back after Shabbat. As time went by, Sophie thrived at the Home in our specialized Alzheimer’s program.”    

Raymond became an advocate and promoter of the Sephardic Home to the entire Syrian community. He initially got involved to help make improvements to the Home, and then officially joined the Board as the first member from the Syrian community. He quickly became one of the most active and popular Board members, eventually being named Vice President of the Board. He helped many families admit their loved ones into the Home, getting them the best rooms and the highest standards of care.  

In 2015, The Sephardic Home was sold, and the money was used to launch the Sephardic Foundation for the Aged. Raymond remained on the Board, and, with the help of his fellow board members, directed millions to other non-profit nursing homes, rehab centers and Sephardic community seniors programs to ensure that elderly community members would receive the very best possible care.  

An “Unsung Hero” 

As grateful as Raymond was for the collaboration with the Sephardic Home, says community member Michael Haddad, he fervently believed that the community needed a nursing home of its own, within walking distance of residents’ family members.   

“Raymond is truly one of the unsung heroes of our community,” Michael says. “He had a deep reverence for the elderly, was concerned that our community elders were scattered throughout the nursing home system, and dreamed of building a home with our culture and values, for the community, and within the community.”   

In 2016, Raymond approached Mr. Haddad to launch the project. Together, they worked tirelessly and selflessly to build the foundation and framework for a community nursing home.   

“Raymond lit me up with the need for our own community nursing home, and I will continue doing everything I can to make his dream come true,” Mr. Haddad says. “My only regret is that he wasn’t able to see it completed in his lifetime. But I know he is praying for its successful completion.”  

Extraordinary Altruism 

Psychologists have coined a term for people like Raymond Cohen – “extraordinary altruist.” The criteria for this distinction are relatively straightforward: 1) perform a generous act for someone unrelated or unknown to you; 2) the action entails a personal risk or cost to you; 3) the act isn’t something you are required to do. And – you don’t think of yourself as anything but ordinary when performing such acts. This was Raymond Cohen, every single day of his life.   

Once, he heard about someone struggling to make his daughter’s wedding, and he singlehandedly raised $12,000 in one afternoon, delivering it to the person that evening so he would not go to sleep worried about paying for the wedding. Raymond partnered with Rabbi Shmuel Choueka in forming the SY Marriage Fund, where Raymond solicited funds and Rabbi Choueka dispersed them, helping hundreds of young couples to get married with dignity.    

Raymond saw this work not as volunteerism, but rather as an obligation, often stating, “It behooves us to help those who are less fortunate than us.”    

“Raymond was a man of tremendous nobility, refinement, and wisdom, who embodied all the good qualities of everything we try to be when we help those in need,” says Rabbi Binyamin Sanders of the Chesed 24/7 organization. “He was so obviously head-and-shoulders above anyone else I ever met, and a role model to all of us in the helping field.” 

“I Have Diamonds” 

At Raymond’s 75th birthday celebration, his family gathered to honor him, and he repeated over and over, “I am a very fortunate guy. Some people strive for monetary success, and some people strive for other types of success. In England, a person usually has one child, a cat, and a dog. And that is called “success.” But look at what I have! I have diamonds. I look at my beautiful family and am blessed that they have succeeded and exceeded me. The fact is that all of my children and grandchildren are moral citizens who give back to Hashem and our community. And this is because their mom was there to raise them correctly. If it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t be here today.”   

Raymond’s son, Rabbi Adam Cohen, adds, “Gd bless my mother – she built on the foundations that my dad created. He would never have been able to do all that he did without her by his side.” 

There are those who donate to worthy charitable causes, and there are those who create the entity that will distribute the funds. There are those who honor and care for their parents, and there are those who overhaul an institution to make it a better place for all our parents. There are those who will gladly lend a hand when a problem is brought to their attention, and there are those with the exceptional ability to sense when one is in need and offer to help. There are those with talents who use them for their own purposes, and there are those who turn their talents into mitzvot. There are those who generously give of their time and money to support worthy causes, and there are those who encourage others donate. There are parents whose children wonder what they’re busy with when they perform hesed, and there are parents who make hesed an integral part of family life.   

Raymond Cohen was, in all cases, the latter. He arrived in our community knowing no one, and left a legacy affecting everyone. 

Our community has suffered the loss of a pioneer – a man who made it his business to improve the lives of his fellow Jews. He was a man who, as Rabbi Ozeri describes, had a “passion to help other people, and we will never really know how many people he helped.” 

Our community needs more people like Raymond Cohen, people who engage in lifelong heroism, who are not just compassionate and caring, but have a knack for being able to see things from the perspective of others.    

Each one of us has the potential for outstanding altruism. Our tradition teaches that “Kol Yisrael arevim zeh lazeh – All Israel are responsible for one another.” We are all connected. We have the capacity to put ourselves in our fellow’s shoes, to feel each other’s pain, to understand each other’s needs, to empathize with one another – and this experience is what gives rise to altruism, to a powerful impulse to alleviate other people’s suffering. This is the level we should all be striving for. As Raymond would say: “It behooves us…” 

If you have a story to share of Raymond, please share it with the family at RaymondtheBarber18@gmail.com for inclusion in a forthcoming book about his extraordinary life. 

Diane Mishan

In the heart of our community lies a beacon of hope: The Safe Foundation. This licensed outpatient drug, alcohol, and gambling treatment center stands as a pillar of support for individuals grappling with addiction. Yet, what truly sets The Safe Foundation apart is its pioneering approach to preventive education. Through our groundbreaking school curriculum, Project SAFE, taught in over ten community schools to a total of 3,109 students, the Foundation is reshaping the narrative surrounding tough topics such as bullying, substance abuse, and body image. This transformative impact extends not only to our youths’ education but also to the overarching community wellness. 

At the core of The Safe Foundation’s mission is a commitment to holistic well-being. Recognizing that addiction often stems from underlying issues, the organization provides comprehensive outpatient treatment for substance abuse and gambling addiction. From individual counseling to group therapy sessions, The Safe Foundation offers a safe and supportive environment for individuals on their journey to recovery. Moreover, The Safe Foundation goes beyond traditional treatment methods by embracing a multifaceted approach to community wellness. 

Focus on Foundational Skills 

One of the most innovative aspects of The Safe Foundation’s work is its focus on foundational skills. This initiative, spearheaded by Project SAFE, aims to equip students with the knowledge and skills necessary to navigate life’s challenges. By addressing these issues head-on and providing life skill tools, The Safe Foundation empowers students to make informed choices and to develop healthy coping mechanisms for any future challenges they may face. 

Project SAFE, led by our Director of Community Education, Liat Dahan, has implemented a new curriculum with the help of co-curriculum writer Sally Franco, called Project SELF. This program, consisting of 20 lessons, includes topics such as: who am I, foundational tools, relationship building, emotional intelligence and sense of self. Our SAFE teachers are trained and continuously supported to effectively deliver these crucial messages.    

Addressing Body Positivity 

Throughout the 2023-2024 school year, alongside our weekly SAFE classes, Project SAFE coordinated 52 special programs tailored to suit the unique requirements of every school, student body, and parent community. Notable among these were workshops on body positivity at Magen David High School where female students participated in a three-part workshop series on body positivity led by Sari Dana. Throughout these sessions, they delved into the concepts of body positivity and its intersection with social media, while also addressing the importance of shedding the diet mentality and embracing positive affirmations.  

Students not only gained insights into the detrimental effects of diets but also learned to trust their body’s natural wisdom when it comes to food choices. Additionally, they developed a keen awareness of the harmful messages propagated by social media regarding unrealistic beauty standards. Sari Dana’s book, The Journey to Body Positivity, served as a valuable resource throughout the workshops.  

Joint Programs for Children and Parents 

At Hillel Yeshivah Elementary, fourth-grade students and their parents took part in an interactive program crafted and led by Debbie Nehmad. Called “Stronger Together: Nurturing Values, Fostering Upstanders – A Family-Centered Program,” this initiative encouraged parents and students to collaborate in identifying their family values. Together, participants explored instances where living out these values might be challenging and they discovered strategies for prioritizing values and intervening when necessary. Witnessing the genuine engagement between parents and children during these significant discussions was truly heartening. A sincere thank you goes out to the fourth-grade parents of Hillel Yeshivah. Their active involvement played a pivotal role in the success of this program. 

In collaboration with CCSA, Project SAFE organized a program for eighth-grade children and their parents at Yeshivah of Flatbush Elementary School aimed at addressing the critical issue of drugs and alcohol. This session emphasized safety strategies and effective approaches to initiating open conversations about substance abuse. The session kicked off with a poignant video that shed light on the harsh realities of teenage substance abuse, paving the way for collaborative discussions between parents and children. Together, they brainstormed safety strategies and explored effective approaches to initiating open conversations about this sensitive topic. Children engaged in role-playing exercises to hone refusal and peer pressure management skills, while parents received additional education on recognizing addiction signs, identifying various substances, and learning how to broach the subject with their children in a non-judgmental manner. The program provided a platform for children to express their preferences regarding their parents’ responses, and vice versa, thereby fostering deeper understanding and communication within families. 

Promoting Emotional Well-Being 

We’ve introduced an emotional intelligence program through art, developed by Steven Franco, to expand traditional learning methods. Under the leadership of the Director of Education, Liat Dahan, and co-curriculum writer Sally Franco, a program was conducted at Yeshivah Prep, focusing on teaching students about their emotions. This initiative aims to lay a foundation for the students’ lifelong emotional well-being and social development, helping them recognize, understand, and express their feelings in a healthy manner. 

After piloting the program across various grades in multiple schools, our goal is to train teachers and to integrate the program into the school’s art curriculum next year. Barkai Yeshivah has already taken the lead by training their teachers and implementing the program into their 4th-grade classrooms! 

A Bright Example for Our Broader Community 

Beyond the classroom, The Safe Foundation’s work extends to the broader community, fostering empathy, understanding, and a culture of support. As the Foundation continues to expand its reach and impact, it relies on the generosity of donors and volunteers to sustain its programs. Together, we can build a brighter future for our community – one rooted in compassion, understanding, and resilience. The Safe Foundation stands as a shining example of the transformative power of education and community support, empowering tomorrow’s leaders and building resilient communities. Let us pave the way for a brighter, healthier future for all. 

Annual Breakfast Fundraiser 

Please Join us Friday morning, June 28th, 9am at the Jersey shore for our 21st annual summer breakfast fundraiser, where every donation brings us one step closer to safeguarding our community’s future. Let’s make a lasting impact and create a safer, healthier environment for generations to come. To donate: Venmo @safe-foundation, or visit our website www.thesafefoundation.org/donate.  

Don’t Wait 

If you or your loved one is struggling with alcohol, drugs, or gambling don’t wait, call 718-GET-SAFE. Our team of licensed professionals is here to help you! We have offices is Brooklyn, NY, and Eatontown, NJ, and offer remote services when appropriate.

Diane Mishan is the Director of Marketing & Events at the SAFE Foundation.  

Tuvia Cohen 

We don’t want to worry you, but we have a little problem. You see, we have this rather large 350-ton jumbo jet that has requested permission to land. There are no other aircraft in the area, so we can easily give permission. The airplane has wheels, and plenty of them, so no difficulties there. The problem is that the captain of the jumbo has not yet decided what material to place around the metal rim of those numerous and ponderous wheels. 

You have to visualize the situation to appreciate the scope of the problem. A jumbo jet is enormous, and as it descends from the sky to meet the ground, it is traveling at some 200 miles an hour. As contact is made between the wheel rim and concrete, the friction created is intense. So quickly, suggest what he can use! Should he wrap the rims with sacking, a material that is usually very hard-wearing? It will rip to shreds in a second. Should he clothe the wheels in leather? The jolt caused by the impact will snap off the wheels as easily as a fragile twig. Perhaps he should simply leave the wheels in their pristine steel? Could you imagine the steel wheel carving a trench in the concrete, with sparks pouring forth, each spark posing the gravest risk? We have to find the solution, and quickly! 

While I think, my mind tires. Tires? You mean tires? That’s it! Rubber tires – the perfect solution. An inflated ring of rubber that covers the rim of the wheel will absorb the impact, and it is strong, durable, waterproof, and flexible. Problem solved – what a relief!  

Could We Manage Without Rubber? 

Imagine that you had to describe this substance called rubber to a newcomer to Earth. What would you say? “Well, it’s sort of black and elasticated, you know, like . . . rubber!” But where does it grow, how is it made, who discovered it, why do we need it, and could we ever manage without it?  

The answer to the last question is a definite “no,” as anyone who has ever traveled in a car, plane, or bicycle will attest. Imagine the level of discomfort as you ride – or rather bounce and jolt – along the highway at 70 mph in a car with wheels bound by metal! As for the first questions, prepare to be amazed. 

Why is rubber so useful? There are many reasons. It holds air (as in your balloon), it keeps out moisture (as in your rubber boots), it does not readily conduct electricity (which explains its widespread use in insulation), and is a poor conductor of heat (making it an excellent choice of materials for coating the handles of frying pans). But its chief importance to us is that it is elastic. In fact, rubber can be made so elastic that it will stretch to more than nine times its normal length. When you stretch a rubber band and let it go, its elasticity makes it quickly spring back to its original shape. A rubber ball, that mainstay of children’s games, bounces because of this same springiness. Your rubber heels are wonderful shock absorbers because of their elasticity.  

Fantastic stuff, rubber, but where does it come from?  

Columbus, the Indians, and Goodyear Tires 

When the early European explorers came to Central and South America, they saw the Indians playing with bouncing balls made out of rubber. According to an early Spanish historian, Columbus found the Indians using balls “made from the gum of a tree.” The explorers learned that the Indians made “waterproof” shoes from latex, the milky white juice of the rubber tree. They spread the latex on their feet, and let it dry. Those same Indians also made waterproof bottles by smoothing latex on a bottle-shaped clay mold. They dried the latex over a fire, and then washed out the clay. It was not until the 18th century that two French scientists spent several years doing botanical research in South America. In 1730, one of them, Monsieur Francois Fresneau, made a full report about rubber, and was the first scientist to describe the rubber tree. Another major breakthrough took place in 1823, when a Scottish manufacturer, Charles Macintosh, had a brilliant idea for raincoats. He rubberized two pieces of cloth with dissolved rubber, and pressed them together, making a sort of cloth sandwich with a rubber filling. Although these coats became popular, they were not perfect, as the rain leaked in at the seams, and in hot weather, the rubber leaked out. 

While Mr. Macintosh was trying to perfect his raincoats, an American by the name of Charles Goodyear was attempting to produce rubber that would be unaffected by changes of temperature. Then, one day in 1839, he accidentally placed a mixture of rubber, white lead, and sulfur on a hot stove. When he removed it, he found that the rubber could still be stretched, but had not become gummy. Thus, he discovered the process known as vulcanization, whereby sulfur is heated with rubber, resulting in a compound that remains tough and firm in both heat and cold. Vulcanized rubber was elastic, airtight, and watertight, and could be used to make tight seals between the moving parts of machinery. The rubber industry had begun. 

The Mystery of Latex 

So much for the work of man. But what of the actual substance, and the trees from which it stems?  

Latex is found in a wide variety of trees and other plants, but some aspects of latex still remain a mystery. Scientists know that latex is not a sap, but they are not sure of its use to the plant. There are those who think that latex acts as a kind of protective substance when a plant has been harmed. But if this is the case, why do some trees have latex in super abundance (such as the rubber tree) and so many have none? As we shall see, the answer is that the Creator of the Universe knew that mankind would need rubber, so He created latex! 

The milky liquid called latex consists of about 30 to 35 percent pure rubber. Water accounts for another 60-65 percent, with the remainder consisting of resins, proteins, and sugar. The latex holds tiny globules (particles) of rubber in the same way that milk holds butterfat. The rubber tree grows best in hot, moist climates. The latex that contains the rubber flows through a series of tubes in the layer of the tree directly under the bark. When this layer is pierced, the latex oozes out. 

Plantation workers, called “tappers,” begin work at daybreak, because the latex flows most freely in the cool morning air. The tapper removes a thin shaving of bark with a tool shaped so that the bottom of the groove forms a channel. The groove slants diagonally downward about halfway around the trunk. At the bottom of the cut, the tapper attaches a U- shaped metal spout, and below that, a small cup. The latex oozes from the inner bark, and flows down the channel into a collecting cup. Don’t feel sorry for the cut bark – as the latex dries, it seals the cut! Each tapper works on about 350 trees on one round of tapping, which takes him about three hours. After tapping the last tree, the tapper makes a second round to collect the latex, removing the dried latex and making a fresh cut.  

Rubber trees yield their full capacity of latex for about 25-30 years.  

What is most amazing is that after about three or four years, the grooves in the tree reach the ground. The tapper then goes to the other side of the tree, and begins cutting the bark there. By the time the second set of grooves reaches the ground, the bark has grown back on the first grooves, and it is ready to be tapped again! 

Thank Gd for Rubber! 

Rubber is a wonder product. We depend on it so much that it would be almost impossible to manage without it. It is the only material that is elastic, airtight, water resistant, shock absorbing, and resilient. Manufacturers make between 40,000 and 50,000 rubber products. A typical car has about 600 rubber parts. Think of waterproof aprons, boots, raincoats, hot-water bottles, ice bags, elastic bands, bathing caps, goggles, rubber life-rafts, golf balls, tennis balls, bottle stoppers, rubber gloves, and shoe soles. How could we manage without rubber? Our whole transport system is dependent on rubber. More than half the rubber used in the world goes into tires and tubes, which in turn are fitted onto cars, airplanes, bicycles, trucks, tractors, and construction machinery. Modern society would quite literally grind to a halt without this amazing “fruit” of the rubber tree. 

Everything that Gd created was done so for a purpose. The Creator of the Universe knew that one day mankind would require the services and qualities of rubber – and so He created the rubber tree with its ever-flowing latex to satisfy that need. Thank you, Hashem!

Sam J. Sutton 

As the days grow longer and the summer sun starts to warm the fields, anticipation is building for the 2024 M&S Summer Softball season. Now entering its 17th year, the league has become a staple in the community, offering fierce competition and camaraderie to players and fans alike.  

Seven teams will compete for the ultimate prize, the M&S Cup. Let’s delve into each team, their captains, and what fans can expect. 

The Final Battle 

Captained by league legend Teddy Ishak, The Final Battle is looking to claim the title with a combination of veteran leadership and youthful energy. Ishak, known for his strategic prowess and ability to rally his team, has a reputation for crafting lineups that thrive under pressure. With Ishak at the helm, fans can be sure this team will fight until the final out. 

The Predators 

Michael Sabon Salomon, a Hall of Fame player, returns to lead The Predators. Known for his tactical mind and relentless pursuit of excellence, Salomon is eager to guide his team back to glory. The Predators’ fierce competitiveness and tactical discipline make them a formidable opponent for any team. Sabon’s presence alone instills confidence and drive, and his team will be looking to him for leadership throughout the season. 

Sarah’s Kibbes 

After a tough World Series loss last year, Gabe Abadi returns as captain of Sarah’s Kibbes, determined to secure the championship this time around. Abadi, a skilled strategist, has a knack for assembling cohesive units capable of delivering under pressure. With last season’s heartbreak still fresh, Sarah’s Kibbes is poised to channel their hunger for victory into a focused and resilient campaign. 

Resilience 

Multi-time champion and star shortstop Steven J. Gindi leads Resilience into the season with the aim of reclaiming the crown. Gindi’s championship pedigree and leadership make him one of the most respected captains in the league. Resilience is known for its mental toughness and adaptability, traits that often give them an edge in crucial moments. Fans are eager to see if they can live up to their name once more this season. 

Dawg Pound 

Uri Adler steps into the captain’s role for the first time with Dawg Pound. Despite being a rookie captain, Adler brings infectious enthusiasm and a fresh perspective to the league. He is determined to make a strong impression this season. Dawg Pound will aim to combine raw energy with Adler’s strategic vision to make a memorable run. 

IDF 

The Phenom, Edmund Beyda, is another first-time captain, of the IDF. His extraordinary presence on the mound and natural leadership have earned him the nickname “The Phenom,” and expectations are high for this team. Beyda’s ability to inspire his teammates and deliver clutch performances makes IDF a legitimate contender. 

Bleacher Creatures 

League veteran Sammy Esses returns to captain the Bleacher Creatures. Known for his strategic game planning and unwavering dedication, Esses has a reputation for rallying his troops and extracting the best out of his players. The Bleacher Creatures have a loyal fan base and are looking to make a deep playoff run this season under Esses’ guidance. 

Conclusion 

The 2024 M&S Summer Softball season promises to be one for the ages. With a mix of returning legends and fresh faces, the league is set for thrilling matchups and unforgettable moments. Whether it’s the legendary leadership of Teddy Ishak and Michael Sabon Salomon, the determined resilience of Gabe Abadi, or the fresh excitement brought by Uri Adler, each team has a unique story to tell. 

Get ready to dust off your jerseys and grab your sunscreen as the teams prepare to battle for the ultimate prize. The competition is fierce, the stakes are high, and the memories waiting to be made are countless. 

Let’s play ball! 

QUESTION:  

Dear Rabbi Ali, 

I would appreciate some advice regarding my marriage. My wife and I have a great relationship and a wonderful family. However, we have one disagreement that brings so much frustration to the marriage.  

Holiday time is very tense. She doesn’t like going to my parents or
siblings for the holidays, and wants to go only to her family. It becomes a fight every
holiday and it would be great if you could give me a solution.  

Thank you in advance. 

R’ ALI’S RESPONSE: 

I will try, with Hashem’s help, to give you some ideas that work for many people I counsel who are in a similar situation. I assume from your question that during the year your relationship is great and that arguments and fights are not a constant in your home. That is something to be grateful for, as there are many couples who would love to say that things are great.  

The following is a very successful formula. It will take some patience and persistence but is well worth the effort. 

The first thing you should do is to discuss the holiday issue when it is a non-issue. With most disagreements, we debate the issue when it comes up. Of course, we can’t predict when a disagreement will come up, however when an issue is ongoing disagreements are predictable.  

Discussing the issue when things are tense will not help. When you do address the issue, make sure it is an opportune time to talk about something serious. A good opportunity could be when you are on an outing or a walk, or when your spouse is in a good mood. Sometimes people get frustrated when their spouse brings up an issue when the issue is not current. Another thing that people do not like is the infamous line, “We need to talk.” Do not say that, instead, just say let’s go out and relax. 

The last part, which is the most important, is how you bring it up. Mention how you know she doesn’t mean any harm by not going to your parents and you do realize how hard it is. You can even give some examples to show you understand why she feels she does not want to go to your family members. Some people tell me that they find this part very hard. They just feel like saying, “Is it so hard for you to do something for me?!”  Please understand, just because something may be easy for you, does not make it easy for someone else. We will never be able to fully comprehend how hard or easy something is for another. This is the true meaning of not judging people until you are in their shoes. We should never say, “It should not be hard for you.” That is not incorrect and shows a lack of sensitivity.
 

After your introduction, you can mention to your wife how it would mean so much to you if she went to your parents for a meal or for a holiday. Ask her if she would at least think it over. By doing this, she feels heard and understood and will be more inclined to go to your side for the holidays. When people feel heard they feel free and invigorated. Also, by putting the ball in her court you are accomplishing something else. By doing so, she will not feel controlled or forced. No one likes that feeling, even if they are not told directly, “You must do what I want.”
 

If she does come back with some type of compromise, let her know how much that means to you and how grateful you are. We tend to think that children are the ones who thrive on positive reinforcement. The truth is, all human beings thrive on positive reinforcement. When your wife hears how you are appreciative, she will be most probably be happy to go and will likely want to go again.  

I know it’s a lot of steps, however, this way of communicating is proven to work. You may need some guidance how to approach the subject properly or how to come up with a “Plan B” in the event that she says absolutely not.  

To conclude, fighting over the situation should be ruled out as an “option” or as a “Plan B.” Many times, we just do what feels natural due to a lack of other options. Do not fall into that trap. And as I tell all of my clients, do not forget to pray to Hashem for assistance with your marriage, as we do with every other aspect of our lives.