Jack Gindi

“Know thyself.” It’s an ancient phrase – but what does it mean in our busy, modern world? Think of it as stepping into your epic story, where you are the hero on a lifelong quest to discover your best self.

A Mirror in Proverbs

The Tanakh underscores how spiritual growth begins with honest self-searching. Proverbs 27:19 reminds us: “As water reflects the face, so the heart of man reflects the man.” In other words, our actions and inner life mirror each other.

Why “Know Thyself” Feels Ambiguous

There’s no single checklist for self-discovery. It’s an ongoing process of experiences, honest feedback, and deliberate reflection. The Tanakh’s emphasis on examining the heart and mind resonates with our modern struggle to cut through social noise and focus on what truly matters.

The Freedom of Self-Discovery

Life can get loud: social media, friendships, and family expectations often drown out our inner voice. The quest to “Knowing Yourself” helps you decide the direction to go when others assert their agenda. By living according to your core values, you gain the freedom to explore life on your terms.

To Build Dreams Together, let’s start with these four pillars of L.I.F.E. = Body, Being, Balance, and Business.

Body (Longevity)

Your body is the vehicle carrying you through life’s twists and turns. Treat it well. That might mean getting enough rest, choosing nutritious meals, or staying active in ways you enjoy – like exercising, sports, or walks. Learn to listen to your body. Simple Code: I respect my body by exercising regularly and fueling it with healthy foods.

Being (Inner peace)

“Being” is about nurturing your inner world – your sense of purpose and awe at life. Maybe you pray, meditate, or center yourself in nature. Perhaps you keep a gratitude journal or reflect quietly on what you’re thankful for daily. These habits remind you there’s more to life than racing from one deadline to the next. Simple Code: I cultivate inner peace by setting aside daily moments for quiet reflection.

Balance (Family & Friends)

No quest is tackled alone. Your relationships – family, friends, and mentors – add depth to your journey but also require effort. Under stress, it’s easy to snap at people or overlook loved ones. Knowing yourself means recognizing how you affect others. If your code emphasizes kindness, patience, or respect, you’ll pause more often before reacting angrily. Simple Code: I treat others with respect and gratitude, even under pressure.

Business (Education & Economics)

Business is about mastering the fundamentals of education and economics at any age. Whether you’re helping with homework or completing it, saving for a house, or planning retirement, each choice builds financial wisdom and learning habits that last generations. Simple Code: My future will be stronger because I never stop learning skills to improve my life and money.

The Ongoing Quest

“Know thyself” isn’t a finish line; it’s an evolving expedition. Challenges will arise – health issues, relationship strains, and work setbacks. Your code acts like a compass, guiding you back to who you genuinely want to be. By paying attention to your Body, nurturing your Being, respecting your Balance in relationships, and honoring your Business responsibilities, you’ll stay grounded in what matters most.

Ultimately, your greatest adventure isn’t a place you go – it’s the person you become. In a world buzzing with distractions, this simple yet profound principle – “Know thyself”- ensures you

remain aligned with the values that make you you. With a clear code and self-reflection, you’ll find a deeper meaning and purpose with every step.

Building Your Code

Crafting a personal code is simpler than it sounds. Begin by reflecting on each area – Body, Being, Balance, Business and ask:

● How do I care for my health?

● What nurtures my spirit or sense of purpose?

● How can I strengthen my relationships?

● Which responsibilities must I fulfill? What can I learn today? Practice teaching what you learned.

Write down a few concise statements, such as:

● Body: I stay active and choose foods that boost my energy.

● Being: I spend a few minutes each morning in quiet thought or gratitude.

● Balance: I listen more than I speak and treat others empathetically.

● Business: I keep my promises and manage my tasks to be reliable. I spend ten minutes a day learning something new and sharing what I learned.

Review these statements regularly to check your progress. If something in your life changes – like switching schools or taking on new commitments – update your code so it stays relevant.

Ellen Geller Kamaras

The debate surrounding the controversial gambling complex, The Coney, continues, with emotions running high, and both sides reiterating their strong positions.

Pros and Cons

Opponents argue that the casino will only benefit the developers and investors, will change the character of iconic Coney Island, and will result in many harmful consequences to residents, children, families, local businesses, and visitors. The Coney will increase traffic, crime, illegal drugs, and intensify the gambling addiction crisis.

The Coney’s advocates contend that it will improve the quality of life for residents by offering needed economic prospects of new jobs and revitalization to a neighborhood that has grappled with seasonal ebbs and flows.

Public Hearings

Community Board (CB) public hearings began in January in response to Thor Equities’ application to build the 1.3 million square foot gaming facility in the heart of the Coney Island community. Thor plans on converting five acres of the Coney Island Boardwalk into a huge entertainment complex with a casino, convention center, hotel, and music venue. Thor Equities owns the five acres of land at Surf and Stillwell Avenues.

Gaming facility license applications by the eleven developers competing for the three gambling sites in and around NYC are due in the summer.

The application process allows strong community opposition to defeat a casino bid before state regulators can even review the application.

For each application, a local Community Advisory Committee (CAC) was formed to hold public hearings and to issue a formal finding of how much community support the proposed casino has.

At least two-thirds of the committee members must approve the project before state regulators begin evaluating the application.

If a CAC’s determination shows support is lacking, the application will not be forwarded to the NYS Gaming Commission and Gaming Facility Location Board (GFLB) Board for its review and issuance of a license.

A final decision on the three gambling licenses is expected by the end of 2025.

On the day of the January 9th CB 13 hearing, The Coney Consortium, announced before the hearing that they would create a $200 million community trust fund to support the area provided The Coney is approved. A board of local stakeholders would oversee the trust and decide what the funds would be used for, such as for Boardwalk enhancements and improving neighborhood safety.

Included in CB 13 is our own precious community.

Land Use

The January 9th hearing, held at the Coney Island YMCA, was the first of many, with public participation encouraged, in person or remotely. The hearing addressed a land use application submitted by The Coney developers to facilitate the construction of the casino if it receives a license.

The consortium asked NYC to close and “demap” the three main streets in the amusement zone that connects Surf Avenue to the oceanfront and transform these critical city streets into “landscaped pedestrian walkways” for the casino and the adjoining hotel’s benefit.

This demapping plan would jeopardize the safety of the millions of summer visitors and destroy the existing businesses encircling the casino complex. It would also impede emergency access to the Boardwalk, the beach and the amusement park and would create negative consequences to the nearby public school, disabled parking, and wheelchair accessibility to the Boardwalk and the beach.

Clips posted across social media showed a loud and heated stand-off at the Y with residents and business owners speaking out and disagreeing loudly about The Coney.

Significant Vote

The next CB 13 hearing on The Coney land use occurred on January 15, and a full board vote was convened on January 22. On January 22, CB 13 voted 24-11 against changing land use rules for The Coney. The vote denied Thor Equities’ application to close part of Bowery Street and purchase air rights above existing buildings to pave the way for the gambling facility.

Although the CB’s vote is only advisory and was specifically for the project’s proposed land use, its majority vote hints that a vote on the casino application could yield a similar

outcome. Public approval can significantly influence who will receive the three NYS gaming licenses.

SCF Takes a Stand

While not geographically included in CB 13, the Sephardic Community Federation is firmly opposed to The Coney gambling license application.

SCF has worked tirelessly to preserve the community’s values, protect against addiction risks and economic disruption, and ensure a prosperous and vibrant future for all residents of Southern Brooklyn. They took a leading position in encouraging other community organizations to join their fight against the Coney by creating the No Coney Casino Petition: see SephardicFederation.org..

Victor Cohen

Would you ever use a basketball to play baseball? Would you ever use a hammer to push in a screw?

Sure, with enough effort, it could work, but those clearly are not the most optimal tools for the job.

These days, we use our phones for just about everything. With access to the Microsoft Office Suite and Google Docs, Slides, and Sheets right at our fingertips, today’s phones act more like mini-computers than actual communication devices. That’s not to mention social media, the access to recently-developed AI tools, and even video games. We can do anything from our phones that we could do on our computers. But in this world of increased accessibility, is anyone stopping to ask whether we should do everything from our phones?

One morning, you happen to wake up at 3am. The first thing you do is check your phone. You look at your emails, check your messages, and WhatsApp group chats, and then, right before you’re about to go to sleep, you open up YouTube. The next thing you know, it’s 5:30am, and you begin the next day thoroughly exhausted, unable to be productive at all. Having access to everything from your fingertips is nice, but not when it costs you valuable time and disrupts your day.

Unfortunately, modern technology is marching towards an endgame of maximum immersion, and maximum reliance on phones. That means more hours spent online, and less hours devoted to better pursuits, like family, learning Torah, and other important activities. But while the big phone companies are intent on squeezing more hours from you, the Fig Phone takes the exact opposite approach, saying that sometimes, less is more.

The “Kosher” Phone & the Fig Phone

Over the past three years, the Fig Phone has pushed a sleek, viable, and serious alternative to today’s modern phone addiction. I had the opportunity to interview the Fig Phone’s founder, a product of our community in Brooklyn – who requested to remain unnamed – to learn more about how the Fig Phone got started, some of the philosophies underlying its design, and where he sees the Fig Phone heading next.

According to the founder, the Fig Phone came into being as a reaction to traditional “kosher” phones, which he first encountered in Israel. A “kosher” phone, for those unfamiliar, is a phone which is wiped clean of any distracting or addictive content – which modern companies increasingly throw into their devices to keep you hooked. People make the mistake of thinking phones are passive, just something kept in the pocket which you can then pull out to use when the need arises. But the unfortunate truth is that modern phones are active. The algorithms within these devices actively work to keep you hooked, encouraging prolonged use and even addiction. Kosher phones are a great first step in fighting back against the pull of modern algorithms, allowing you to take back your time and reduce the phone’s centrality in your life. The founder loved the concept, and wanted to bring it back into America.

Unfortunately, he confronted two issues. The first was that some of the technology simply did not work here in the United States. Too many service issues, software and hardware bugs, and other technical problems arose in devices brought from Israel to America. The second problem was that the “unkosher” phones could be found easily online, and they looked identical to the “kosher” ones, so it was easy for people to pretend to have a “kosher” phone when really they held something which was anything but.

A Tool, and Just a Tool

Setting out to solve these problems, Fig’s founder came to the conclusion that the only permanent solution was to design something completely different. Instead of buying phones and “koshering” them, he would instead create his own phone, from the ground up, which was, as he put it, “born kosher.” This would be the Fig Phone.

“The Fig Phone is a personal communications device,” Fig’s founder explained. He elaborated that whereas modern phones offer so much more than communication, and are specifically designed to take over a person’s life, a phone should really be just a tool– a very important tool– but nothing more than that.

“You wouldn’t bring your laptop to the dinner table,” the founder said. All that functionality which modern phones offer might be great, and exceedingly useful, but it blurs the lines between work and home. If you have access to everything at all times, then that access tends to disrupt the normal course of life, and gets in the way of all the important things. The Fig Phone is built to help you use it less often, so you can focus your attention on what really matters to you.

The Fig Phone offers users a great deal of flexibility. Some adopt it as a standalone device, completely replacing their smartphone. However, many prefer designating it as their primary personal phone, and reserving their smartphone for work. The idea of carrying two phones might seem daunting, but this isn’t what’s happening. The user has just one phone, and a separate device for work, much like people owning both a laptop and a smartphone which serve different purposes.

This is part of a rapidly growing movement toward reducing the use of phones as the “go-to device,” and relegating them to secondary devices.

The idea behind the Fig Phone is that it remains a tool used for specific purposes, without taking over a person’s life. To this end, it is very simple to use. Much of its operation is intuitive, allowing for an easy transition for many modern phone users.

Ongoing Innovation

Everything about the Fig Phone – including all its applications, the software, hardware, operating systems, and design choices – was built in-house, from the ground up, with rabbis advising the developers at every step of the process. One important design choice made at the advice of the rabbis was to make this device a flip phone, rather than the more prevalent “bar phone.” This was done so that the Fig Phone would be easily discernible and stand out. Furthermore, as the founder explained, snapping a phone shut has a more “nostalgic” feel than simply pressing a button to end a call. Indeed, many users have mentioned that there’s something incredibly satisfying about snapping a phone closed after finishing a call.

As all of Fig Phone’s apps are designed in-house, third-party developers have no access to its software, Fig Phone keeps everything tightly regulated inside a closed system. The founders receive lots of feedback from users as to which in-house apps to develop, which features to add, and anything else that users might find useful.

“People sent in requests for apps, asking if they could put in this or that,” Fig’s founder said.

This feedback-based approach has led to much innovation on Fig’s backend.

For example, the device comes with a very good camera, which is among the important tools on smartphones today. Another point of focus was ensuring that the Fig Phone was a touchscreen device, a must-have considering how ubiquitous touchscreen devices are today.

Recently, Fig tasked its developers to integrate Android Auto functionality, allowing users to conveniently use Waze on their car screens, giving their phones an extra dimension of utility.

Throughout the process, Fig Phone continually innovates and develops what they have, making it better than before, improving with each iteration and update.

Current and Future Fig Offerings

The company’s flagship model is the Fig Flip II X. With a 13 MP camera, simultaneous onscreen and T-9 keyboard, great battery life, and even Waze Navigation built-in, this phone is designed for enduring performance and efficient functionality. It is good at simply being a phone.

The Fig Flip Mini II offers similar functionality, but is just a smaller, more compact model.

The important thing about the Fig Phone is less what it offers than what it does not offer. It does not have the ability to download harmful apps or access addictive websites, such as social media sites. The device is built wisely and economically, aimed at providing its primary function rather than trying to suck you in and get addicted. It works for you, not against you.

When asked about future avenues Fig was looking to explore, Fig’s founder mentioned that while they continue to upgrade their devices to keep up-to-date, they are also looking to expand. A Fig Tablet, for instance, is in the pipeline. Another exciting project in the works is the Fig Beat– a fully offline MP3 player inspired by the original iPods. This device will feature the user-favorite click wheel, an iconic design which everyone loved from the classic iPods. The company has big plans to expand the Fig ecosystem, bringing more devices into the closed system of the Fig family.

The Fig Phone, growing in popularity, will continue to zig while the entire industry zags, and in doing so, might find more and more users who are fed up with the distractions, and simply want a phone.

Check out the Fig Phone at figkosher.com. Sometimes, less really is more.

Rabbi David Sutton & Dr. David Katzenstein, LCSW-R

Rav Wolbe, renowned author of the mussar classic Alei Shur, was multi-faceted. He did not just pursue the standard job of mashgiach, but did many interesting things in his life. During the Six Day War, he felt the Israeli soldiers were in need of hizuk. So, he went to the frontlines to help strengthen them.

On one occasion, as his plane entered enemy territory, he asked why the plane was flying so low. The pilots assured him, “Don’t worry, we are flying very low in order to remain under the radar, so the enemies cannot detect us.”

Similarly, when fighting the yetzer hara, we must fly under its radar. This is why the baalei mussar say to take on small things. Otherwise, the yetzer hara will detect our plans and cause them to backfire.

Previously, we have spoken about going against your own will, as Rav Yerucham Levovitz (the famous mashgiach at the Mir Yeshiva in Belarus at the turn of the 20th century) did when he was young. This does not mean to refrain from eating the entire day. Rather, if we’ve had one scoop of ice cream, we don’t have that second scoop. That’s going against our will in an area that’s within our reach, in a sphere that doesn’t hurt so much.

We must build up slowly. When beginning an exercise routine, we don’t begin by suddenly doing 60 reps (repetitions, i.e., complete strength training exercises). Instead, we do five or 10 reps, and when it starts hurting, we rest. If the regimen is too hard to begin with, we’re going to quit, practically before we get started.

How do we foster better outcomes and follow-through on our resolutions? We have already discussed why resolutions often atrophy or are relegated to the dustbin of our brains. Now let’s talk about our actionable response, so that we can significantly increase the likelihood of meeting our goals. This can be accomplished by taking the following measures:

Set realistic and specific goals: Resolutions are more likely to be successful if they are well-defined, achievable, and align with your overall values and priorities.

Break down larger goals into smaller steps: By breaking down larger goals into smaller, manageable steps, it is easier to stay motivated and make progress toward achieving our resolutions.

Create an action plan: Outline the steps that you need to take to achieve your resolution, along with specific deadlines and milestones to help keep you on track.

Enlist support: Having friends, family, or a support group who are aware of our resolution can provide accountability and help us to stay focused.

Be flexible: Be open to modifying your resolution if it’s not working, or if you encounter unexpected challenges. It’s important to be adaptable, and to find ways to stay motivated and determined.

Celebrate successes: Celebrate small victories along the way to help keep inspired and to maintain a positive attitude. Recent research shows that this is one of the primary ways to sustain motivation.

Stay committed: Making a resolution is just the first step. Sustained effort and discipline are required to achieve success. It’s vital to stay committed and to persevere, even when progress is slow.

Always Be on Guard

A talmid went to see Rav Elyah Lopian, the mashgiach in a yeshivah in Kfar Chassidim, a city in northern Israel before heading home to Yerushalayim for Shabbat.

There were two routes from Kfar Chassidim to Jerusalem. The shorter route involved a bus to the Haifa central bus station, and from there, a direct bus to Yerushalayim. The longer route avoided the central bus station, but added more stops and more time.

Rav Elyah asked the bachur, “Which route do you plan on taking?”

“Via the Haifa central bus station,” he replied.

Rav Lopian asked, “Aren’t you concerned that since Haifa is a beach town, there will be a lack of modesty at the bus station?”

“No, it doesn’t bother me,” the young man responded.

Rav Lopian grew very serious. “I’m 90 years old and blind in one eye, and it bothers me.”

He was aware that yes, he had a yetzer hara, even at 90 years old and with only one functioning eye.

He was constantly working on himself, never resting on his laurels.

TAKEAWAY

Instead of coercing yourself into making a commitment to improve, do it gently, positively, so as not to activate the koach meridah, the rebellious force inside of you.

For the same reason, strive for the minor things, rather than major commitments.

Remain under the radar.

Mozelle Forman

Our community is blessed, for the most part, with affluence that tends to place a heavy emphasis on material possessions.  Looking around and seeing the opulent lifestyle of our friends and neighbors can entice one to make poor decisions about their own financial life.  “Keeping up with the Joneses,” can become a dangerous position to take when a couple begins to live beyond their means in order to fit in.  This choice – the way they earn, the way they spend – becomes the responsibility of both husband and wife

Ari Perl, LCSW, a couples therapist, facilitates a group for men at SBH, entitled, “The Pressures of Providing,” addressing this phenomenon and “providing a space of mutual support from like-minded guys.”  What has emerged in this group are the deepest feelings that men have about providing for their family, things they may never have felt comfortable sharing with their wives. 

“The men in our group have expressed the wish that others understood the gravity of the burden of managing and budgeting bills and debt- and the constant nature of it. They are choking, caught between a rock and a hard place, between tuition, housing, and other basic living expenses on one side and an income that hardly covers it on the other. They wish they didn’t get hit with sudden large bills even for some ‘noble causes,’ and if they are, they wish their wives would understand what impact that has on them. They wish they didn’t need to conflict with their wives over these issues, let alone be ‘hit’ by sudden large purchases that they only know [about] because they see the bill or the package come in the mail. They need understanding, compassion, respect, and for all of these to be expressed through ongoing close contact over these issues.”

Man As the Provider

To understand why men carry the burden of parnassa alone, we simply have to look back to when Hashem decreed it should be, b’zeat apecha tochal lachem – with the sweat of your brow you shall eat bread.  For a man, there is an intrinsic connection between supporting his family and his sense of self-worth.  His need to provide well for his family is not dictated by his “ego,” it is his Gd-given mandate to work hard and support his family. 

The mandate, though particular to man, was not meant to be his struggle alone.  When Hashem created Chava, it was not only to alleviate something negative, Adam’s being alone, it was to provide him with something positive, an “ezer kenegdo” – a curious synthesis of “helpmate against him” – as his partner in the challenges of daily living.  Our sages explain that in a relationship, there are times when one is most helpful by being supportive and alongside one’s spouse, and there are times when the help that is needed requires going against the desires and position of one’s spouse. The goal is to know when each action is appropriate. Regardless of the action, it is clear that woman was given a mandate from Hashem to act and to influence.

Collaboration and Communication

In order for this helping relationship to thrive, collaboration and communication are essential.  If a man is not disclosing an honest assessment of the family’s financial state, he deprives himself of this help.  When a husband does not disclose to his wife that this year’s business was not as profitable and therefore, adjustments to their spending need to be made, he leaves himself abandoned and alone in meeting the financial needs of the family.  When a wife is not made aware of the true nature of the family’s income, she may feel resentful when she is told that she needs to cut back on spending.  She decides that things can’t be that bad and continues to spend as always.  It can be quite tempting and calming for a wife to have the attitude that her husband is in charge and “let him handle it.”  Receiving a “salary” for the week and remaining unaware of all the other bills waiting to be paid may give a wife a sense of serenity and security.  But if you ask the wife who became aware of the family’s dire financial situation when she watched her car being repossessed in her driveway or if you ask the wife who discovered that her home is now in foreclosure because the mortgage hasn’t been paid in years, they will tell you that they would have liked to have known.

Any financial planner would offer a straightforward, simple plan to alleviating stress about money – “We don’t spend more than we earn.” And while this should solve most financial issues, most couples can’t adopt this philosophy when underlying psychological implications of power and security are not addressed. 

Values-Based Financial Choices

Rabbi Manis Friedman, world-renowned author, teacher, and speaker on creating a successful marriage, emphasizes the significance of open communication and shared decision-making regarding finances within a marriage, encouraging couples to discuss financial goals and responsibilities openly. He often cautions against placing too much emphasis on material wealth as the primary factor in marital happiness, suggesting that true fulfillment comes from deeper connections and shared values.  He advocates for incorporating ethical and spiritual considerations when making financial choices, aligning personal values with financial actions. 

Ari Perl witnesses this first-hand in the couples he counsels.  “When a couple sets personal family values and make decisions about their standard of living together it’s very powerful, inspiring, and rewarding.  It’s an opportunity to renew their vows around what’s really meaningful and valuable- like family, faith, health, personal accomplishments, and being happy with your portion.”

Every marriage begins with a financial transaction called kiddushin. In kiddushin, the man gives the woman, in the presence of two witnesses, money or some other object, such as a ring, valued at no less than a perutah, signifying their union. While the woman is a passive participant in this initial financial transaction, it is unadvisable for her to remain a silent partner.  When both spouses are aware of and are concerned about the financial stability of their family, they have the best chance of success.  Most couples spend their entire married lives disagreeing about financial matters.  Disagreement does not mean they have a bad relationship. It simply means they haven’t found the right way to discuss a difficult topic.  Experts in the field give the following advice:

Expert Advice

Talk to each other – Discuss your hopes and dreams, while prioritizing goals.  Discuss how you can work together to achieve them, recognizing that some dreams are not realistic for your family. 

Discuss money regularly –In order that issues don’t build up and solve the differences and challenges between you rather than debating who is right.  Accept that some problems are unsolvable and focus on constructive ways to discuss them. 

Try to understand your partner’s perspective –As in everything else having to do with marriage, we must take into account that we are each individual with different money styles. For example, one partner may prioritize saving for retirement, while the other may prioritize spending on leisure activities. Take the time to learn to listen to each other. When you are open to compromise with your partner about money, you can work together to find the best solution for both of you. Lastly, if conflict or lack of transparency still prevail, seek the help of a rabbi, counselor, or financial planner to insure the financial health and well-being of your family.

Look for the Warning Signs

While financial assessment meetings should take place regularly, there are a few red flags regarding finances that require immediate attention:

• If a spouse refuses to talk about money or gets defensive when asked about finances, it’s a red flag that they might be hiding important information that could affect the other spouse’s financial well-being. This could include hidden debt or an excessive spending habit, compulsive gambling, or unethical business practices.

• When a spouse overspends continually on a credit card, it can quickly snowball into a debt crisis for the couple.  Opening more new credit cards and maxing out multiple credit cards will not only create the debt crisis but will damage your credit, making you ineligible to apply for loans in the future.

• When a spouse is unwilling to create a budget or stick to a budget created together, financial crisis can occur and trust can be damaged.