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Community Highlights – New Torah High School Opens at the Jersey Shore

A transformative new institution is opening its doors at the Jersey Shore: Jersey Shore Yeshiva (JSY) – a premier yeshiva high school for boys dedicated to raising the next generation of Torah-driven leaders.

JSY’s mission is to inspire and cultivate Bnei Torah who are proud of their identity, grounded in Torah and mitzvot, and deeply connected to Am Yisrael and Eretz Yisrael. The school offers a warm, structured, and forward-thinking environment where each talmid is encouraged to grow – spiritually, intellectually, and emotionally.

Blending rigorous Torah learning with a dynamic general studies curriculum, JSY fosters critical thinking, effective communication, and inner confidence – skills that will serve students in the beit midrash, in their careers, and throughout their lives.

Under the guidance of leading rabbis and educators of the Jersey Shore community – Rabbi Shlomo Diamond, Rabbi Saul Kassin, Rabbi Joey Dayan, and Rabbi Joseph Dana – the Yeshiva is poised to fill a crucial gap in the community.

“An institution like JSY has long been missing,” said Rabbi Diamond. “This Yeshiva isn’t just a school – it’s an investment in the future of Klal Yisrael.”

NY Supreme Court Halts Yeshiva Closures

A New York State Supreme Court judge has ruled that six Brooklyn yeshivas are allowed to remain open while working to meet state education standards.

Last month, Judge Richard McNally issued an injunction after the New York State Education Department revoked the schools’ accreditation. The department claimed the yeshivas – located in

Borough Park and Williamsburg – failed to provide instruction in math, science, and English that was “substantially equivalent” to public schools.

A new law passed over the summer allows private schools to create alternative “pathways” to meet state requirements. However, the Education Department argued the yeshivas were ineligible because they were already deemed noncompliant when the law passed. Parents were told students would need to find new schools for the 2025–26 year.

McNally ruled the state acted “contrary to law” by asserting the yeshivas were no longer schools once found noncompliant. He said they remained schools – albeit ones needing improvement – and are therefore eligible to pursue the new compliance pathways.

The decision means the yeshivas can stay open during the review process and continue receiving public services like transportation and special education.

Agudath Israel, which supported the schools, said the ruling sets an important precedent: “If, in the future, any school is declared non-equivalent, it can still choose to avail itself of a pathway. The ‘non-school’ argument was soundly defeated.”

The Last Step Before the Siyum

The Olam HaTorah is abuzz with anticipation as multitudes of Oraysa lomdim take their final strides toward a siyum on Seder Moed. With the beginning of Masechet Chagigah, tens of thousands across the globe are embarking on the last leg of a journey that began nearly six years ago. And now, for the first time in Oraysa’s history, a global community of lomdei Torah stands on the threshold of completing an entire seder of Shas together.

Kehillot across the U.S., Eretz Yisrael, and Europe are preparing to converge for a historic ma’amad kavod haTorah to celebrate this milestone. This will be a once-in-a-generation aseifa – not only marking an ending, but celebrating a shared journey and the start of something even greater.

The journey of Seder Moed has been extraordinary, but the accomplishment that awaits is greater still. With gedolim, roshei yeshiva, and thousands united in celebration, the Siyum promises to be monumental. Each daf of Chagigah is more than learning – it is a contribution to a global accomplishment, a chance to write yourself into the history of Oraysa.

To learn more about the Siyum, please go to oraysasiyum.org.

Living Emunah – Did You Anticipate?

The pasuk in Parashat Balak (Bamidbar 24:17) says, “A star will emerge from Yaakov [and will rule the entire world].” The Targum explains that this is a prophecy regarding Mashiach. He is called a star, says the Maharal, because of his lofty level.

The belief in the coming of Mashiach is one of our Thirteen Principles of Faith. We are supposed to reaffirm every day, “I believe with a complete faith that Mashiach will come.” Not only do we have to believe, but we also must actively anticipate his arrival. Chazal (Shabbat 31a) tell us that this is one of the questions we will be asked after we leave this world: “Did you anticipate the salvation? Were you anxiously awaiting his coming?”

Our Rabbis did us a great favor by incorporating into every Amidah a berachah about anticipating Mashiach: “We have anticipated Your salvation throughout the day.” If we say these words with understanding and belief, then we will be able to answer that question affirmatively.

The days of Mashiach will be the greatest era in history. He will be a regular mortal, like everyone else. As is written (Yeshayahu 11:1), “A staff will emerge from the stump of Yishai.” He will descend from the branch of Yishai [father of David HaMelech, which is the tribe of Yehudah]. In every single generation, someone is born who could be Mashiach. He will be a master of Torah wisdom and possess sterling character traits. If the generation is worthy, Hashem will send Eliyahu HaNavi to anoint him as king.

Rav Chaim Vital (Likutei Torah) writes that he will receive an extra neshamah from Heaven that will imbue him with extraordinary siyata d’Shmaya. He will have more wisdom than Shlomo HaMelech. The Midrash Tanchuma (12) says that he will be greater than even Moshe Rabbeinu.

When people hear him speak, they will all be drawn to his wisdom. Every nation will appoint him their new leader, until he becomes the leader of the entire world. There will be unprecedented unity and peace. Not only will there be an end to war, but no one will even train to be a soldier. No country will need a military, because everyone will be united and at peace with one another.

The world will be filled with the wisdom of Hashem. We’ll be able to understand the hidden secrets of Creation and why Hashem runs the world the way He does.

The Maharal (Chapter 7) writes that the spiritual level of the world will be as it was before the sin of Adam HaRishon. The Bet HaMikdash will be rebuilt. It will be a glorious time of pure happiness. The streets will be filled with young children playing. Even the animals will cease to harm. There will be no more fear. We will be free to delve into the wisdom of Hashem.

The pasuk (Daniel 12:2) states, “Many of those who sleep in the dusty earth will awaken. Many of those who have passed on will once again come back to life. Families will be reunited. The great luminaries of all times will once again walk this earth. In the merit of our anticipation of these glorious days, may we see them, speedily in our days. Amen.

The Enduring Legacy of Sephardic Bikur Holim: A Journey Through History

In the heart of Seattle, Washington, a vibrant legacy endures with the Sephardic Bikur Holim Congregation. Established in 1914 by Levantine Jews from western Turkey, it continues to this day.

The incredible story of Sephardic Bikur Holim began in Medieval Spain. Then, during the Golden Age of Spanish Jewry, it all came to a tragic close with the Edict of Expulsion in 1492, issued by Ferdinand and Isabella. The Jews were forced to flee their homeland, and the refugees found a welcoming sanctuary in the Ottoman Empire. The Sultan, sensing an opportunity, was eager to take advantage of the Spaniard’s misjudgment. He opened his ports and cities to the refugees. They settled into their new homes and flourished there while keeping to their customs. As they settled across the Ottoman Empire, they not only survived, but thrived, while preserving a legacy that spans centuries, and through it all, they remained steadfast to their heritage.

After World War I, these Jews came to Seattle looking for a better life as well as to escape the crumbling Ottoman Empire. Our ancestors brought with them a treasure trove of culture, including their own unique language (Ladino), cherished customs, distinct minhagim, Turkish foods, and beautiful music (Romanzas), along with a deep well of religious knowledge.

Today, the Sephardic Bikur Holim community continues to honor its distinct practices rooted in ancient traditions. This connection to a shared past is not a relic but a living, vibrant force, expressed through unique liturgical practices (hazzanut), a love of family, and a profound respect for the Torah.

Our congregation is seeking a new spiritual leader to guide its next chapter. Over the past 100 years there have only been four Rabbinic leaders.

If you, or someone you know, are interested in making a big impact on a close-knit Sephardic community, this is an opportunity to make a real difference in a beautiful city.

To find out more about the community and our congregation, we invite you to visit our website at www.SBHSEATTLE.ORG. Here you can find out more details about the position, as well as the warm and friendly Seattle Sephardic community!

Medical Halacha – IV Hydration on Yom Kippur

Charlie suffers from serious heart problems. His doctor warned him that fasting on Yom Kippur could endanger his life and instructed him to drink fluids. Troubled by the idea of drinking on this sacred day, Charlie asked me if he could use intravenous (IV) hydration instead.

His son Jack, who is generally healthy, had a bout of food poisoning and became severely dehydrated. He asked if he needs to remove his IV before the fast begins in order to observe Yom Kippur properly.

Is IV Hydration Considered Eating or Drinking?

Halachically, IV hydration is not considered eating or drinking. The Torah prohibition on Yom Kippur refers specifically to consuming food or drink through the mouth. Hydration administered intravenously bypasses this and is therefore not technically a violation of the fast.

Hacham Ovadia Yosef

Despite the technical leniency, Hacham Ovadia, zt”l,  (Chazon Ovadia Yom Kippur, p. 298) opposed the use of IV hydration on Yom Kippur when not medically necessary. He explains that while IV fluids are not halachically defined as food or drink, they should not be used unless clearly required for health reasons.

He gives three key reasons: Firstly, drinking shiurim (small amounts) provides physical and psychological comfort (ituvei da’at) to a sick person. IV hydration does not offer the same level of satisfaction. The Chachamim were deeply concerned with ensuring the comfort of the ill.

Secondly,halacha already allows eating or drinking when health is in danger. There is no halachic requirement to find artificial alternatives. Insisting on IVs could mislead people into thinking they must use IV hydration rather than eat or drink – potentially putting lives in danger if IVs aren’t available.

Lastly,inserting an IV causes minor bleeding, which constitutes an unnecessary wound – another prohibition on Yom Kippur. Since eating or drinking is already permitted in such cases, this injury is avoidable and therefore unjustified.

Hacham Ben Zion Abba Shaul

In contrast, Hacham Ben Zion Abba Shaul, zt”l,(Or LeTzion 4:15:5) held that IV hydration is halachically preferable. He argued that even drinking in shiurim is still be a biblical prohibition, especially according to the Rambam (Shevitat Assor 2:3). IV hydration, by contrast, is not a normal form of drinking and is therefore permitted. As for the bleeding involved in inserting the IV, he viewed it as an unintended and destructive act (pesik reisha d’lo nicha lei), which does not carry a Torah prohibition and is therefore preferable to drinking in shiurim.

Drinking in Shiurim

When someone must drink on Yom Kippur due to pikuach nefesh, when medically possible they should drink in shiurim (melo lugmav, about 1.3 oz or 40 ml). The required pause between sips varies by opinion, from five seconds to nine minutes. Hacham Ovadia (Yabia Omer, OC 2:31) ruled that a pause of five seconds suffices, especially if longer breaks compromise the person’s health.

When Fasting Becomes Forbidden

If fasting could endanger Charlie’s life, not only is he permitted to drink – it is a halachic obligation. In Yechaveh Daat (1:61), Hacham Ovadia writes unequivocally: “If there is concern of possible danger to his life by fasting, one must listen to the doctor and eat on Yom Kippur, because pikuach nefesh overrides the mitzvah of fasting. If the sick person is stringent and fasts nonetheless, he is not acting righteously – on the contrary, he will be punished for this.”

What Should Charlie and Jack Do?

Charlie must not fast if doing so endangers his life. Ideally, he should drink in measured amounts (shiurim). If that is not possible or safe, IV hydration is permitted. Similarly, if Charlie refuses to drink IV hydration is permitted due to pikuach nefesh. Jack, who is already connected to an IV due to dehydration, does not need to remove it before Yom Kippur. In his case, continuing hydration through the IV is fully permitted.

Some people feel guilt or shame about eating or drinking on Yom Kippur, even when halachically necessary. But we must remember: the same Hashem who commands the healthy to fast commands the very sick to eat. When halacha requires eating or drinking on Yom Kippur, doing so is not only allowed – it is amitzvah. No atonement is needed. In fact, following halacha in these cases is the highest mitzvah.

Rabbi Yehuda Finchas is a worldwide expert, lecturer and author on Medical Halacha. He heads the Torat Habayit Medical Halacha Institute. His latest book is “Brain Death in Halacha and the Tower of Babel Syndrome.” To contact Rabbi Finchas, email [email protected].

The Lighter Side – September 2025

Spiritual Check Up

Marvin is at his doctor for a physical. Dr. Epstein runs some tests and says to Marvin, “Well, Marvin, for an 82-year-old man you are in top condition physically. But how about mentally and spiritually?”

“What do you mean, doc?” asks Marvin.

“Well how is your connection with Gd, for example?”

Marvin says, ”Oh me and Gd? We’re tight. We have a real bond, He’s good to me. Every night when I have to get up to go to the bathroom, he turns on the light for me, and then, when I leave, he turns it back off.”

Well, upon hearing this, Dr. Epstein was concerned.

He called Marvin’s wife and said, “’I’d like to speak to you about your husband. He claims that every night when he needs to use the restroom, Gd turns on the light for him and turns it off for him again when he leaves.”

She replies, “Oy vey. He’s been using the refrigerator again!”

Jake  D.

Hashem Knows

One day Lisa was explaining to her young son Mikey that you should never tell a lie. She told him that Hashem saw everything and heard everything.

She explained, “Even though your father and I may not know if you are telling a lie, Hashem will know.”

Little Mikey replied, “But will He tell?”

Miriam T.

Old Mrs. Scheiner

Old Mrs. Scheiner was a tough lady who liked to walk wherever she could. But one day descending the stairs of her third-floor apartment, she broke her leg. As the doctor put on her cast, he warned her not to climb any stairs. Several months later, the doctor took off the cast.

“Can I climb stairs now?” asked old Mrs. Scheiner. “Yes,” he replied.

“Thank goodness!” she said. “I’m tired of shimmying up and down that drainpipe every day!”

Nancy S.

Shoe Sale

Friday was Shira’s day for carpool, so she picked up her daughter and some other classmates to take them home. As it happened, Shira’s daughter needed new shoes and she saw that her friend Rivky had some nice ones.

“Rivky,” Shira commented, “I see you got new shoes! Where did you get them?”

“At the store,” Rivky answered.

“Which one?” Shira asked.

Rivky began looking at her new shoes and after a pause said, “Both of them!”

Alan K.

Two Left Feet

Zadie was coming over to take his grandson David to the park.

“Okay David, we’re going to the park!” said Zadie. “Go get your shoes on!”

Being only four years old, David said, “Okay, but will you tie them for me?”

“Sure,” Zadie replied with a big smile.

David bolted into the next room to put on his shoes, returning with a big smile and the shoes on the wrong feet.

Looking at his shoes, Zadie smiled and said, “David, your shoes are on the wrong feet.”

David looked down, then looked back at Zadie with a very sad face and replied, “These are the only feet I have.”

Sarah C.

In the Bag

Last year, Chaim Yankel had a large company fly him out for a meeting. It was his first time in business class.

During the return flight the stewardess gave Chaim Yankel some gourmet brownies and cookies. Not hungry, he decided to save them for later, so he placed them in an air sickness bag.

After the plane landed Chaim Yankel got up to leave and a stewardess approached him. She asked, “Sir, would you like for me to dispose of that for you?”

Chaim Yankel replied, “No thanks, I’m saving it for my kids.”

Danny S.

Riding It Out

Morty decided enough was enough – he was going to join a gym and start getting in shape. He joined an aerobics class and the instructor had everyone lie on their backs with their legs up as if pedaling a bike. After several minutes, Morty suddenly stopped.

“Why did you stop pedaling?” the instructor shouted to Morty.

“I didn’t stop,” Morty said, wheezing. “I’m going downhill!”

Joey T.

Bless You

The Applebaums were teaching their five-year-old son Moishe how to make berachot before he ate. He was having some trouble so his mother told him that if he can’t remember what to say, he can just say, “Thank you, Hashem, for this delicious food.”

One evening, however, Moishie’s mother noticed that he thanked Hashem for the birds, the trees, each of his friends, and asked Gd to watch over his family and help them all. Moishie’s mother thought it was so cute and heartfelt.

But after Moishie took a spoonful of soup, he gasped, then dropped his spoon into the bowl. “I should have said a longer prayer,” he said. “My food is still too hot.”

Elizabeth D.

Fish Cake

Josh walks into Yossi’s Kosher Fish Mart with a fish under his arm.

“Do you have any fishcakes?” Josh asks.

“Yes, of course,” says Yossi, the store owner.

“Great,” replies Josh, nodding at the fish under his arm. “Today’s his birthday!”

Morris M.

Helping Hand

Morris was having trouble in school so his father decided to start tutoring him. Unfortunately, his grades were not improving.

“Look at this paper!” Mr. Applebaum said to Morris, frustrated. “How could one person make so many mistakes!?”

“It wasn’t one person!” Morris replied defensively. “My father helped!”

Elana  G.

Map Quest

Professor Hadari was teaching advanced map reading in his earth sciences class at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem. After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees, and minutes Professor Hadari asked, “Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude, and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude…?”

After a moment of silence, a student named Itzik volunteered, “I guess you’d be eating alone.”

David M.

Dreaming in Hebrew

Joey was having some trouble in Hebrew class.

To encourage him, his teacher, Mrs. Shalva, said, “You’ll know you’re really beginning to get it when you start dreaming in Hebrew.”

One day, Joey ran into class all excited, saying, “Mrs. Shalva! I had a dream last night and everyone was talking in Hebrew!”

“Great!” said Mrs. Shalva. “What were they saying?”

“I don’t know,” Joey replied. “I couldn’t understand them.”

Michael  B.

A Big Pain

“Oy!” groaned old Samuel. “I must have appendicitis,” he said as he clutched his left side.

“It can’t be appendicitis,” said his wife, Myra, confidently.

“How do you know?” asked Samuel. “You are a doctor all of a sudden?”

“I’m not a doctor but I do know that your appendix is on the right side of your body.”

“Aha!” said Samuel. “THAT’s why it hurts so much. My appendix is on the wrong side!”

Eli  A.

Riddles – September 2025

RIDDLE:  On the Right Track

Submitted by:  Kelly B.

A train 1-mile long is traveling at a speed of one mile per minute through a tunnel 1-mile long. How long will it take for the train to completely pass through the tunnel?

Last Month’s Riddle: The Underwater Challenge

A magician was bragging to a crowd, “I can hold my breath underwater for a full 6 minutes!” Impressed murmurs followed – until a kid piped up, “That’s nothing! I can stay underwater for 10 minutes – no tricks, no gear, and no air pockets!” The magician laughed. “Prove it,” he said, “and I’ll give you $10,000.” The kid did… and walked away $10,000 richer.  How did the kid pull it off?

Solution: He simply filled a glass with water and held it over his head for 10 minutes!

Solved by:  Haim Solei, Family Blum, Abie Arking, Big Mike, Shelly Mizrahi, Lisa T., The Shmulster, Carl Dweck, and The Sultan Family.

JUNIOR RIDDLE:  Twin Teaser

Submitted by: Carl  M.

Two people born on the same day, from the same mother and father, but they are not twins. How is this possible?


Last Month’s Junior Riddle: An Odd Equation

Here’s a puzzler for you: 81 × 9 = 801.
Obviously, that’s not right. But with one clever move, you can make this equation true – no math needed. What do you have to do?

Solution: Turn the equation upside down. It becomes: 108 = 6 × 18.

Solved by: Frieda Tessone, Morris Kabani, Haim Soleimani, The Blum Family, Lisa T., The Big Cheese, Family Sultan, Alice Rishty, and The Shmulster.

From the Files of the Bet Din

The Case

Eviction

Sam rented a private home from David for many years. When Sam fell behind with his monthly payments, David refused to renew his lease and requested that Sam find a more affordable property to rent. Sam persisted and refused to vacate, leaving David no alternative but to file for eviction of his nonpaying tenant. In less than a year’s time, one evening Sam returned home only to find a new lock on the front door and some of his valuables on the sidewalk in front of his home. His neighbors collected some of the more desirable loose items found on the street, assuming Sam willingly threw the stuff away. Sam opened a file at our Bet Din claiming that David had no legal right to remove his private property from the home without informing him and he demanded compensation for his loss. David countered that he was preparing to immediately move new tenants into his fully furnished home and had no alternative but to make available closet space for paying customers. David added that Sam owes him nearly six months of outstanding rent and that if any money is due, it is strictly to him.

Was David permitted to remove Sam’s private belongings and place them on the sidewalk? Are the neighbors required to return the items they found or are they considered legally abandoned merchandise? How should the Bet Din rule and why?

Torah Law

According to the ruling of the ShulhanAruch, it is permitted to remove merchandise that is illegally being stored on one’s property. Since the owner of the merchandise is aware that he is illegally occupying another’s property, he must bear the consequences of his actions.

Leading halachic authorities dispute whether a property owner is required to give fair warning to an occupant prior to throwing the unwanted merchandise into a public domain. While numerous halachic authorities rule that a property owner is liable for damages unless he first notified the occupant of his intent to dispose of the merchandise, it is the opinion of the ShulhanAruch that no such notification is required.

Although a homeowner is entitled to rely on the ruling of the ShulhanAruch to dispose of any unauthorized merchandise on his property without liability, nevertheless, all opinions agree that it is proper to notify the illegal occupant before acting against him. In our case at hand, multiple eviction notices were sent to the tenant warning him of the clear intent of the homeowner to dispose of the unwanted contents in his home. Hence, according to all halachic authorities the homeowner is absolved of any liability.

By rule of the ShulhanAruch, unless one finds merchandise in or around a garbage bin that is regularly picked up by the sanitation department, he is not to assume that the merchandise was abandoned by the owner. As a matter of fact, by rule of the ShulhanAruch even if one witnesses the tossing of a valuable item by its owner into a public domain, he cannot necessarily assume that the item is abandoned.

While numerous halachic authorities differ with the stringency of this latter ruling, nevertheless, in instances in which an outside party legally disposes of another’s merchandise, all opinions agree that the merchandise is not abandoned. Hence, in our case at hand, in which the landlord removed the tenant’s belongings from his home to the sidewalk, a finder is required to return the belongings to the tenant. As aforementioned, if some of the tenant’s possessions are ultimately lost or stolen, the landlord is not held responsible.

VERDICT:  A Tough Break

Our Bet Din ruled in favor of David, the landlord, and absolved him from paying Sam, his tenant, for any lost merchandise. As mentioned in Torah law, since Sam illegally occupied David’s home past the date of eviction, by Torah law, David had the right to remove the belongings from his home. Although Sam’s belongings were placed on the sidewalk, they were over twenty feet away from the closest garbage bin and no excessive damage was done. Furthermore, the notice served as notification and fair warning of David’s intent to remove his tenant’s belongings, and he is thus exempt from liability. Our decision included clear instruction to all neighbors to return Sam his belongings, since he never willingly abandoned them. It is Sam’s responsibility not David’s to attempt to retrieve his belongings from the neighbors. Unfortunately, Sam was unable to retrieve all his possessions, and our Bet Din sympathized with his very difficult situation by calling a well-known charity organization to provide him with financial assistance.

YOU BE THE JUDGE

What Goes Around Comes Around

Steven has owedHarry nearly $30,000 for over twenty years. The outstanding debt was a result of Steven never paying Harry for the last shipment of merchandise delivered to his retail store. At the time of the sale, Steven had personally guaranteed payment for the goods, but he avoided his obligation all along. In the interim, Harry closed his wholesale business and became a jeweler who regularly sold and repaired jewelry. This past summer Steven’s wife brought her diamond bracelet to Harry for repairs, unaware of the $30,000 debt her husband owed Harry. Upon receiving the bracelet, Harry phoned Steven to remind him of his debt and to inform him that he was now in possession of his wife’s diamond bracelet, which he plans to sell and use the funds to finally collect the outstanding debt. Steven approached our Bet Din to summon Harry, but Harry initially refused to appear in Bet Din. Harry explained his position, claiming that Steven was unwilling to resolve his claim in Bet Din for over twenty years. Harry eventually agreed to sign a binding arbitration agreement with our Bet Din that clearly stipulated that the parties are entrusting our Bet Din to settle all matters of dispute between them.

Is Harry entitled to withhold the diamond bracelet for collection? Or is he required to return the bracelet and continue with standard legal proceedings to collect his debt? How should the Bet Din rule and why?

In Loving Memory of Vera Bat Carol, A”H

Building Dreams Together – The Simple Overlooked Secret That Makes Families Happier

Jack Gindi

Why do certain scenes stop us in our tracks – a family gathered around a dinner table, laughter filling the room, or a mother quietly tucking her children into bed? It’s not because they’re grand or extraordinary, but because they hold the simple truths we all long for: connection, belonging, and a rhythm of life that feels both ordinary and sacred.

Family rituals and traditions aren’t relics – they’re choices. They are daily, weekly, and annual decisions to turn ordinary times into something meaningful. And while today’s world moves fast, the power to slow down and reconnect is still within reach.

What We’ve Forgotten

Modern life is packed with productivity hacks and parenting strategies. But research tells us the real magic is far simpler. For over 50 years, family psychologists have studied what happens when families build rituals and traditions into daily life – and the results are stunning.

Children in ritual-rich homes sleep better, perform better in school, show fewer signs of anxiety, and build deeper bonds with their caregivers. Families who prioritize shared time report more resilience, stronger communication, and a greater sense of belonging.

Yet, families are engaged in rituals less and less. In 1960, nearly 90 percent of American families ate dinner together regularly. Today, it’s less than 30 percent. Family time has been traded for busy schedules, scattered routines, and nonstop screens. But underneath the noise, the truth still holds: connection doesn’t require more apps. It requires presence.

Rituals vs. Routines

The difference between a routine and a ritual is intention. Brushing teeth is a routine. Turning it into a silly song or bedtime game, that’s a ritual.  The intentionality transforms the task into a memory.

Dinner is a routine. But dinner around the table, phones put away, with everyone sharing their “highs and lows”? That’s a ritual.

Ritual combined withtradition is emotional glue. There doesn’t need to be anything elaborate –it should just meaningful. Or, as the psychologists put it, “structure plus meaning.”

The Research Is Clear

Children who grow up with bedtime rituals develop stronger vocabularies, sleep better, and show more emotional security. Teens who regularly share family meals are less likely to engage in risky behavior, are more likely to talk to their parents, and are more resilient under stress.

Even couples benefit: regular date nights are linked to higher marital satisfaction and lower divorce rates.

In short, rituals and tradition don’t just create memories. They build trust, transmit values, and create a shared language.

Some families create weekly or monthly rituals: a weekly game night, Sunday pancakes, or a “family adventure day.” Others invent phrases, secret handshakes, or inside jokes that only make sense within their household. These small, repeated acts become the foundation of identity: This is who we are. This is what we do.

The Power of Anticipation

Rituals don’t just strengthen relationships in the moment – they also create “anticipatory joy” – when families know something good is coming: a shared dinner, a special outing, or a nightly story. These rituals and the ensuing joy  boost emotional well-being, providing everyone something to look forward to – and later, something to look back on.

The magic isn’t in how fancy the tradition is. It’s in how consistent it becomes.

Build One Now

You don’t need fancy. You need presence, rooted in meaning and made your own.

Start small. Maybe it’s dinner three nights a week, a “goodnight phrase,” or Sunday waffles. Maybe it’s an annual park trip, baking a birthday cake, or writing New Year’s letters. Or perhaps it’s something entirely yours – a secret handshake, a silly phrase, a once-a-year backyard campout.

The magic isn’t in the complexity. It’s in the consistency.

Children won’t remember every gift. But they’ll remember what repeated – your laughter, your kindness, your voice reading their favorite story.Our kids remember the smells, sounds, and little joys that make life rich.

A New Kind of Success

In a world chasing achievement, ritual offers something deeper: belonging. Ritual provides the feeling of being part of something steady and safe and the knowledge that no matter how hard the day is, there’s a rhythm to return to.

That’s the secret Norman Rockwell captured in his Saturday Evening Post illustrations of life in America – and one we can still reclaim. It’s not locked in the past. It lives in the next family dinner, the next inside joke, the next small gesture you choose to repeat. One ritual at a time, we can build a family life that holds steady.In the end, it’s not the storms we remember. It’s the ritual and tradition of presence.

Community Pulse – Keeping Up with the Joneses: The Cost of Endless Comparison

Michele  Shrem

The phrase “keeping up with the Joneses” is deeply embedded in our culture, bringing images of neighbors vying for the latest car, the most beautiful home, or the most lavish vacation. It describes the social and economic phenomenon of constantly comparing oneself to others and striving to match or exceed their material possessions, lifestyle, and perceived achievements. This relentless pursuit of external validation carries significant psychological, financial, and emotional costs, often leading to a treadmill of dissatisfaction rather than genuine fulfillment.

Here are insights from eight community members who have wrestled with the relentless pursuit of external validation. Their personal stories shed light on the psychological traps, financial burdens, and emotional tolls of this endless comparison, while also offering glimpses into how they’ve begun to break free and define success on their own terms.

Sarah L.

“For years, I felt this unspoken pressure to match my peers. When I saw friends buying designer bags or taking exotic trips, I’d instinctively wonder if I was falling behind. It was a constant internal battle, making me question if my own achievements and possessions were truly ‘enough.’ That feeling of inadequacy was exhausting, [I was] always chasing something just out of reach.”

David M.

“The desire for social acceptance was a huge driver for me. My kids’ friends had the latest gaming consoles, and their parents drove newer cars. I worried about my family feeling left out. It put immense pressure on our budget, pushing us to spend on things we didn’t necessarily need, just to feel like we belonged to a certain social tier. The fear of being ‘less than’ was a powerful motivator, even if it meant stretching our finances thin.”

Laura C.

“I got caught in the debt trap big time. Every time a friend posted about a home renovation or a luxury purchase, I felt this urge to keep up. My credit card balances swelled, and I took out loans for things that rapidly depreciated. It [the money I spent] wasn’t for essentials; it was for fleeting moments of perceived status. Looking back, the interest payments alone were a huge burden, trapping me in a cycle where I was just servicing past desires instead of building real wealth.”

Mark D.

“Chasing the Joneses meant constantly delaying my own financial goals. Retirement savings, an emergency fund – they all took a backseat to the immediate gratification of a new gadget or a ‘must-have’ experience. I even took on extra freelance work, not because I enjoyed it, but purely to fund this lifestyle. The burnout was real, and I realized I was sacrificing my future and my well-being for an illusion of prosperity.”

Grace R.

“The emotional toll was immense. I was constantly stressed, always feeling this pervasive unease about maintaining an image. The fleeting joy of a new purchase would quickly fade, replaced by the desire for the next item on the list. It was a constant merry-go-round, and I never felt content. I wasn’t appreciating what I had; I was always focused on what was lacking, leading to a sense of emptiness.”

Joy A.

“I realized I was losing my authenticity. My choices, from career paths to hobbies, were subtly influenced by what I thought others would deem ‘successful’ or ‘desirable.’ It created a disconnect between who I truly was and the person I was trying to project. This led to feelings of resentment and a loss of personal direction. It also strained relationships, as conversations often revolved around material things rather than [focusing on] genuine connection.”

Gail S.

“Social media amplified everything. Every vacation photo, every new home, every lavish meal felt like a direct comparison. It’s a highlight reel, not reality, but my brain couldn’t always tell the difference. My fear of missing out (FOMO) was very unhealthy.”

Yvette C.

“Breaking free was a conscious decision. I started practicing mindfulness and gratitude, intentionally appreciating what I already possessed instead of focusing on what I lacked. Financial literacy became crucial – understanding my income, my expenses, and my goals, not someone else’s. I set boundaries with social media and embraced conscious consumption. [This decision reflected my values that the good life] is about valuing experiences over things, and recognizing that true happiness isn’t found in accumulation. It’s about living my own story.”

Measuring Lives, Not Lifestyles: Closing Thoughts on a Shared Struggle

The stories shared by our community members underscore a universal truth: the pursuit of “keeping up with the Joneses” is a powerful societal force that can derail our financial stability, erode our emotional well-being, and diminish our capacity for authentic living. By recognizing the trap, consciously shifting focus inward, and embracing strategies like gratitude, financial literacy, and setting boundaries with social media, it is possible to reclaim your values and redefine success on your own terms. The most fulfilling life is not one spent chasing someone else’s perceived perfection, but is one dedicated to living authentically and pursuing what truly resonates with yourself. Choose contentment over competition and purpose over pretense. Live your own remarkable story, unburdened by the expectations of others.

This financial strain has a ripple effect on other crucial aspects of financial health. Delayed financial goals become the norm. Saving for retirement, building an emergency fund, paying off student loans, or saving for a child’s education all take a backseat to immediate gratification. The future is sacrificed for the present illusion. When unexpected expenses arise, the lack of an emergency fund forces individuals further into debt, increasing their financial problems.

The pressure to keep up can lead to poor financial decisions driven by emotions rather than logic. Investments might be made in trendy but risky ventures, or individuals might take on second jobs purely to fund their lifestyle, leading to burnout and a reduced quality of life. The constant need for more can also make individuals vulnerable to predatory lending or unwise financial schemes. Ultimately, the financial toll of “keeping up with the Joneses” is a heavy one, often leading to chronic stress, missed opportunities, and a perpetually precarious financial state.

Financial literacy and conscious spending are crucial. Understand your income, expenses, and financial goals. Create a budget that aligns with your priorities, not someone else’s. Differentiate between needs and wants, and critically evaluate purchases. Ask yourself: “Am I buying this because I genuinely need/want it, or because I feel pressured by others?” Consider the long-term impact of your spending decisions on your financial freedom and future goals.

Defining personal values and goals is perhaps the most important step. What truly matters to you? Is it experiences, relationships, personal growth, community contribution, or financial independence? When you have a clear understanding of your core values, decisions about how you spend your time and money become much easier. You can then align your actions with what genuinely brings you fulfillment, rather than chasing fleeting external validation.

Setting boundaries with social media is essential in the digital age. Unfollow accounts that trigger feelings of inadequacy or envy. Limit your time on platforms that promote excessive comparison. Remember that what you see online is often a curated highlight reel, not real life. Focus on using social media for genuine connection and inspiration, rather than as a benchmark for your own worth.

Finally, consider embracing minimalism or conscious consumption. This doesn’t mean living with nothing, but rather intentionally choosing to own fewer, more meaningful possessions. It’s about valuing experiences over things, and recognizing that true happiness isn’t found in accumulation. By reducing clutter and focusing on what truly serves you, you create space for what truly matters, freeing yourself from the endless pursuit of external validation. Breaking free from the Joneses is a journey towards greater authenticity, financial peace, and genuine contentment.

The phenomenon of “keeping up with the Joneses” is a powerful societal force, driven by deep-seated psychological tendencies and amplified by the pervasive nature of modern media. It lures us into a relentless cycle of comparison and consumption, promising happiness but often delivering only stress, debt, and dissatisfaction. The pursuit of external validation, whether through material possessions or fancy lifestyles, can derail financial stability, erode emotional well-being, and diminish our capacity for real living.

However, recognizing this trap is the first and most crucial step towards liberation. By consciously shifting our focus inward, we can begin to redefine success on our own terms. Embracing practices like gratitude, prioritizing financial literacy, and aligning our actions with our core values allows us to build a life that is rich in meaning, rather than merely rich in possessions. Setting healthy boundaries with social media and cultivating genuine connections further strengthens our resolve against external pressures.

Ultimately, the most fulfilling life is not one spent chasing someone else’s perceived perfection, but, rather, it is one dedicated to living and pursuing what truly resonates with our own unique self. Breaking free from the Joneses isn’t about having less; it’s about having more of what truly matters. It’s about choosing contentment over competition, purpose over pretense, and living your own remarkable story, unburdened by the expectations of others. Michele

Honoring the Mission of Chazaq: Saving A Generation

From a Mother’s Tears to a Nationwide Lifeline – How One Family’s Dream Became Everyone’s Organization

After Mr. Moshe Meirov was nearly killed during the Israel-Lebanon war in the early 1980s, he and his wife Shoshana looked for a fresh start, and decided to move to Queens, New York.  Raised as traditional Jews in the former USSR, all the Meirovs wanted was that their boys should grow up with a connection to Judaism. 

Not realizing the difference between the various denominations in Judaism, the Meirov kids were nearly enrolled in a Conservative day school. But Mrs. Meirov was bothered by one thing: why didn’t any of the rabbis of the school have a beard? 

And so she eventually arranged an interview in Yeshiva Ohr Yisrael in Forest Hills. The Rosh Yeshiva, Rabbi Yehoshua Geldtzhaler, son-in-law of the renowned Mussar giant Rav Eliyahu Dessler, worried the boys would struggle; early grades were taught in Yiddish, and the family had little background in practicing Judaism. As he was about to tell her that her boys would not be accepted, Mrs. Meirov’s eyes filled with tears.

He saw her pain, looked at her again, and changed the family – and the Jewish People – with four words: “Your boys are accepted.”

The boys flourished in Ohr Yisrael. Two of the five Meirov sons – Rabbi Ilan and Rabbi Yaniv – would emerge as outstanding marbitzei Torah (disseminators of Torah) whose work now touches hundreds of thousands of Jews across the globe.

The Spark in Queens

As a 19-year-old student in Yeshiva Ohr HaChaim in Kew Gardens Hills, Ilan initiated a weekly Hebrew sheet on the parashah. He wrote the material, a “speed-typist” friend typed, and copies were distributed in Israeli restaurants across Queens. After marrying Aliza Antebi from the Brooklyn community, Ilan took a break from the weekly publication in order to focus on his full-time learning in kollel.

His kid brother, Yaniv, couldn’t stand the silence. At 14, he launched an English parashah sheet, modeled after his brother’s, and even (mis)labeled with his brother’s name. The title of the sheet was adorably misspelled – “Poteach Et Yadeach” (instead of “Pote’ach Et Yadecha”). The mistake sparked a laugh – and a partnership.

Fast forward to 2006. Yaniv, still a teenager, began organizing lectures by Rabbi Eli Mansour, Rabbi Paysach Krohn, Rabbi Zechariah Wallerstein, and other renowned speakers. Venues rotated between shuls, and the crowds swelled from several dozen to over 700. Queens began to feel like one kehillah (congregation). By year’s end they chose a name: Chazaq – “strong,” spelled with a Q for Queens.

The next chapters came fast. They translated content into numerous languages. They pressed CDs. As time went by, they expanded into divisions for men, women, teens, children, and – critically – public school students. 

The Guide at the Center

If the parashah sheet was the spark, Rabbi Ilan Meirov became the pilot light that never goes out. He is the organization’s spiritual compass – answering questions at all hours, and offering hizuk (inspiration) with a patient, steady voice. He has authored several books (including Peri Ilan on the Ben Ish Hai), which have been warmly received by our generations leading Torah sages. 

Upon completing his first sefer several years ago, Rabbi Ilan flew to Israel. Hacham Yitzchak Yosef spent hours reviewing the manuscript together with him, wrote a lengthy haskamah (letter of approbation), and sent him to his father, Maran Hacham Ovadia Yosef, zt”l. Hacham Ovadia tapped the manuscript and asked the question that now underpins everything Chazaq does:“Especially in America, you need to put aside your personal accomplishments. What are you doing for the non-observant community in America?”Only after hearing about Chazaq’s work did Hacham Ovadia continue looking over the sefer and give a warm blessing. The message became the method: the Jewish People first, personal achievements last. 

From Lectures to a Lifeline Across the U.S.

Chazaq grew from inspiration to intervention. And today, the heart of the organization’s work is comprised of three public school divisions: “Shaping Lives” for children, “Jwave” for teens, and the “Public School to Yeshiva” (PSTY) division, helping parents find the right yeshiva for their child(ren). Under the operational leadership of a group of dedicated professionals, and with field lions who literally walk into public schools to meet children wherever they are, the Chazaq team has touched the lives of over 9,000 public school students and transitioned over 2,000 into yeshivot over the past few years. In fact, they are no longer just a Queens organization. They are now touching Jews of all backgrounds across 12 states. 

The Nights that Changed Everything

At the historic dinner inauguration for the Rishon Lesion Hacham David Yosef in December 2024, the Rishon Lesion himself publicly called upon Rabbi David Ozeri and Mr. Harry Adjmi to personally get involved in Chazaq and help further its mission, declaring that this work is literally saving lives. He urged other communities to get involved, as well. And they answered his call with several events organized to benefit Chazaq’s life-changing work. 

The first event was held in Brooklyn, at the home of Rabbi and Mrs. David Ozeri. Rabbi Ozeri spoke passionately about the importance of supporting and getting involved in the organization, describing it as a powerful force shaping the future of the Jewish people. “When you partner with Chazaq, you’re not just giving – you’re building generations,” he said.

Lawrence, New York, came next. A major evening was planned featuring a special lecture by Israeli Chief Rabbi David Yosef, but Israel’s war against Iran erupted days before the event, grounding flights, and so the Chief Rabbi’s visit was canceled.

Many people in this situation would have postponed the event, but Mr. Ralph Hertzka made the moment: “Still do it. This is a matter of life and death.” They did. It was a tremendous success – as the mission proved stronger than circumstance.

Later came Deal, New Jersey – a different night and a different miracle. Mr. Joe Antebi graciously shouldered the responsibility of hosting the event together with his brother Elliot and their wonderful parents, Albert and Shelly. The event was masterfully emceed by Mr. Harry Adjmi, who declared, “This is my new life mission.” Mr. Jimmy (James) Khezri, approached months earlier about Chazaq’s work, pledged full backing and quietly handled behind-the-scenes logistics that no one ever sees.

The event drew a large crowd from Lakewood, New Jersey, uniting under R’ Yitzi Oelbaum. He was joined by Reb Yaakov Taub, Mr. Shimmy Jacobowitz, as well as Reb Baruch Jeremias who was tremendously motivated by Mr. James Khezri. These four figures took it upon themselves to serve as ambassadors for Chazaq going forward.

Many Chassidic leaders and communities joined, as well, giving everyone the feeling that Kelal Yisrael had come together under one roof.

Distinguished guests included the HaRav Reuven Feinstein, shelit”a, Rosh Yeshiva of Staten Island; Rabbi David Ozeri, and numerous other rabbis. The event was graced also by the presence of Mr. James Khezrie, Mr. Charlie Seroya, Mr. & Mrs. Ikey Chera, Mr. David Solomon, and many others whose faces said as much as their names.

From across America came supporters who have since become ambassadors: Mike Farah (now Chazaq’s California ambassador), Rafael Ilishayev (co-founder/CEO of Gopuff, a national pillar for the mission), and Kobi Karp (world-renowned architect who has committed to be a major part of Chazaq’s Florida expansion).

In addition to the above, evenings honoring Chazaq’s mission were graciously hosted by Mr. and Mrs. Aaron Wolfson with Mr. Don Germazian (CEO of American Dream Mall) speaking about the importance of being involved in outreach. Another event was held in Jamaica Estates, hosted by Mr. and Mr. Rachamim Aulov who pledged to make an impact with the future of Jewish public school students in America. 

Each Child is a Generation 

A Hasidic boy whose mother left observance slips into public school, his Shabbat observance fades, and non-kosher becomes normal for him. Chazaq finds him, and offers him programs with kosher food, mentors, and a listening ear. They don’t count the hours; they count his steps back to religious observance.

An orphaned child, stuck in public school, a mother too overwhelmed to ask for help. Chazaq finds them, brings the child into their afterschool programs, and then sits with a yeshiva until “no” becomes “let’s find a way.” It took over a year to make it happen, but today he is proudly thriving in a yeshiva setting.

An Israeli teen, assaulted because he is Jewish. Chazaq hears about his plight. He joins a Shabbaton and is inspired. Although he didn’t transfer to yeshiva, he became a daily participant in Chazaq’s afterschool programs and then became a youth leader for teens, pulling in scores of friends to join, as well. Today, they are all keeping kosher and observing Shabbat. 

These aren’t “numbers.” They are neshamot (souls) who needed a spark that would ignite not only them, but also future generations of proud Jewish families. 

The Board and a New Frontier

Behind every program and every initiative stand the board members of Chazaq – men and women who have been there through thick and thin. Their loyalty is not seasonal; it is constant. They have weathered challenges, celebrated milestones, and carried the mission with unwavering dedication. With their guidance and support, Chazaq has become not just a community program but a national movement, one that never wavers even when the road is uphill.

Beyond its public school initiative, Chazaq has created hundreds of programs every year, inspiring hundreds of thousands. Just one example: over 45,000  streams joined online for their worldwide Tisha B’Av event. From shiurim to conferences, from in-person gatherings to global broadcasts, Chazaq has become a platform of inspiration for Jews everywhere.

Most recently, Chazaq has stepped boldly into a new frontier: shidduchim and marriage initiatives. Through events, mentoring, and soon to come an AI-driven matchmaking program, they are helping Jewish singles find their zivugim in a world where connections can be daunting. Already, many singles have turned into couples on  the foundation Chazaq provided, ensuring not just saved individuals, but new Jewish homes for the future.

Why Now Matters Most 

The day that never ends. “9–5 and then 5–9,” the Meirov family jokes. For Rabbi Yaniv and his wife, Leora, Chazaq is oxygen; even their kids “speak Chazaq.” 

Ask Rabbi Yaniv about his message and he stresses that it comes down to unity and responsibility. America offers freedom; the challenge is guiding children to use it well. Doctors, lawyers, jewelers, barbers, rabbis –  everyone can help by offering time, advocacy, introductions, or support. Refer a neighbor. Invite a teen. Open a door. 

Today, Chazaq engages with public school children from over 100 schools across the country. For the children who fully transition, the success rate is remarkable. But there are tens of thousands still on the edge. 

The Meirov brothers carry a simple message: If Kelal Yisrael doesn’t unite, another child may be lost to drugs or assimilation. Every child is a generation. 

As Ralph Hertzka said about the night in Lawrence that almost didn’t happen: “This is a matter of life and death.” And he is, of course, correct – spiritual lives are truly at stake.

What began in the Queens community now embraces communities across the U.S.; what started as a one-man show is now a large organization with over 70 staff members and hundreds of volunteers. But Chazaq isn’t “their” organization. It’s yours – ours – the place where a mother’s tears in a school office became a generation’s second chance.

There are thousands of alumni whom Chazaq has guided from A to Z – finding them by walking directly into public schools across America, (now affiliated with over 180 public schools) in New York, New Jersey, California, Florida, Arizona, Colorado, Illinois, and beyond. And yes, even Canada. 

In classrooms from coast to coast, Jewish children sat unnoticed, their neshamot quietly slipping away into a future without Torah, without Shabbat, without identity. No one else even knew they were there. But Chazaq knew. And they went in.

What they faced was not applause. It was walls. Staff have been cursed at, dismissed, ignored, and told they have no place in the schools. They’ve been spoken to like intruders, treated like they don’t belong. They have knocked on the doors of parents who looked at them with suspicion, slammed the door, or said, ‘Not my child. We’re fine without you.’ Every rejection slices deep. Every insult leaves a scar. But they go back the next day anyway. Because one child is worth it. One neshamah is worth a lifetime of bruises.

And when a parent does finally open the door, the work is only the beginning. Convincing a family to let go of comfort, to embrace Shabbat, to send a child into a yeshiva when they themselves have never tasted Torah, is a battle of its own. Many of these families are blessed, successful, living the American dream – but not the Jewish one. It takes enormous patience, courage, and love.

Offering Eternity

The staff of Chazaq have had to become the greatest salesmen alive – not selling a product, but selling eternity. They sit in kitchens, in living rooms, on broken couches, or on fine leather sofas, sometimes for hours, sometimes for years, explaining, pleading, showing parents what their children could become. They paint the picture of a Shabbat table, of a Jewish home, of a family connected forever.

And for almost every parent, one day it happens. One day they break. They cry. They whisper through tears: ‘Thank you. Thank you for not giving up on my child.’

But until that day comes, the fight is gut-wrenching. Staff drive across states, fly across time zones, enter schools where they are not wanted, chase after children who don’t yet know who they are. It is grueling. It is exhausting. It is thankless. But they do it anyway. Because they know that every child saved is not just a child – it is a generation.

And today, because of that sacrifice, thousands of children who were once invisible are now living proudly as Jews. They light Shabbat candles with their mothers. They sing zemirot at full tables. They wear their kippotin public, unafraid. They kiss their mezuzot before bed. They are learning in yeshivot, marrying within Kelal Yisrael, and raising Jewish children of their own. Families that once stood on the cliff of assimilation are now anchored in Torah forever.

This is happening not in one city, not in one state, but all across the United States. From public schools in Queens to the streets of Los Angeles, from Miami suburbs to small towns in the Midwest –  Chazaq is there. They are fighting for our children everywhere, often silently, often without thanks, often against the odds. And yet they refuse to stop.

Every parent who reads this knows the fear. The fear of a child drifting away, the fear of losing that spark, the fear of a future without Jewish continuity. Chazaq lives with that fear every day. They walk into it. They battle it. They cry over it. And they turn it into miracles.

This is Chazaq’s legacy: no Jewish child left behind, no neshamah abandoned, no parent’s tears ignored. From a mother’s sobs in a yeshiva office in Queens decades ago, to thousands of mothers and fathers today who watch their children thriving in Torah, Chazaq has proven the deepest truth: saving one child means saving generations.This article was prepared by the organizers of the Deal, New Jersey event,in tribute to and in honor of Chazaq’s sacred mission – saving neshamot, saving generations.