Jack Gindi

How often do we seek success, peace, or validation, believing they will make us feel complete? How frequently do we rush past our stillness? What are we afraid might come up if we stop doing and simply allow ourselves to be? Have you ever met someone who can’t sit in silence? Maybe that someone is you…

I remember sitting in a hotel room once after a long day of meetings. I was mentally wiped out and physically restless, laying on the bed and staring at the ceiling in silence. For the first time in weeks, I stopped moving. A clear truth struck me in that quiet moment: “The present holds wisdom, and I haven’t been paying attention.I haven’t been listening.”

Most of us don’t spend much time just being. We’re hustling, planning, proving, fixing. Consider this: Who are we when we stop?

I’ve struggled with that question. Maybe you have, too. Stillness feels uncomfortable. It forces us to look at things we’d rather avoid, but avoidance doesn’t work either.

Some of the world’s most brilliant insights didn’t come from chaos – they came from quiet. Einstein imagined the theory of relativity during a daydream. Newton noticed gravity while sitting under a tree. These weren’t just accidents. They happened because people made room for something more profound to emerge.

If we’re always avoiding silence, we never hear the truth we need to hear. If we’re always chasing the next thing, we never see what’s already within us and in front of us.

So how do we return to simply being? Here are four powerful shifts that have helped me reconnect with what matters most:

Wake Up to the Present – The most sacred moments are often the smallest, like the breath before a big decision. The sound of someone you love laughing. The silence before dawn. You don’t need to change your entire life to be present – you just need to be where your feet are. Put down the phone. Look someone in the eye. Rub two fingers together and feel the ridge of your fingerprint. Take one deep breath and feel it. Awareness changes everything.

Create Space for Stillness – Stillness doesn’t mean doing nothing, it means making room to hear your own wisdom. Try five minutes a day with no phone, no music, and no tasks. Just sit. Breathe. Let the noise settle. Walk without headphones. Journal without an agenda. The insights you’ve been chasing might already be trying to reach you if only you’d pause long enough to hear them.

Be a Friend to Yourself – Let’s be honest: most of us are harder on ourselves than anyone else ever could be. But here’s the truth, self-compassion is strength, not weakness. You’re a work in progress, not a problem to solve. You can face your truth without beating yourself up. Growth doesn’t come from shame; it comes from kindness. Start by speaking to yourself like you’d talk to a dear friend on their worst day. What would change if you did?

Anchor to Your Purpose – What values ground you? What lights you up? When the world feels loud or uncertain, your purpose keeps you rooted and clear. It’s not always flashy. Your purpose can be as simple as showing up, listening, or choosing integrity, even when it’s hard.

These four shifts – presence, stillness, compassion, and purpose – aren’t a checklist. They’re a return. To yourself. To the treasure you already carry. To the version of you that isn’t waiting to be validated.

So here’s my challenge to you: Pick just one: A) Slow down for ten seconds. B) Sit still for five minutes. C) Say one kind thing to yourself. D) Name one thing that gives your life meaning.

Start where you are. Let that be enough.

Pause. Breathe. Listen.

Your inner wisdom is already speaking. Are you ready to hear it? Believe. Become. Be you.Jack Gindi helps families face life’s challenges with the I Believe in Me Foundation. Contact: jack@ibelieveinmefoundation.com.

Michele Shrem

As the sun shines brighter and the days grow longer, families across the nation gear up for the quintessential summer tradition: the backyard barbecue. But what makes a BBQ truly memorable? Is it the smoky aroma wafting through the air, the sizzle of meat on the grill, or the laughter shared among loved ones? Everyone brings their own unique perspective to the art of summer grilling. Here are a few community members’ thoughts.

Grill Master – David

To perfect the art of grilling, a great BBQ starts with great technique. For the grill master, the key to a successful BBQ lies in the details. In order to enhance flavor and juiciness it is a good idea to marinate meats overnight, and for chicken it can really prevent dryness. Grilling isn’t just about cooking, it’s a passion. The importance of preparation starts with a clean grill. If you don’t take the time to clean it first you may end up with unwanted flavors in your food.

David also advocates for the use of quality tools. Invest in a good set of utensils. Having a sturdy spatula and tongs can make flipping burgers and turning steaks a breeze. The final tip is that patience is key. Don’t rush the process. Let the meat rest before serving to ensure juiciness. It is important to use a meat thermometer to ensure meats are cooked to the right temperature to avoid under or overcooking. Another important step is letting the meat rest. This allows grilled meats to redistribute the juices before serving. This will give you the best results.

You can also experiment with wood chips. Adding soaked wood chips to your grill can infuse a smoky flavor to your dishes. ​ If you focus on these techniques, you will ensure that every bite is flavorful and perfectly cooked. ​

Healthy Parent – Jennifer

Balancing flavor and nutrition can be a difficult task for a parent. BBQs can be a great answer to being able to enjoy delicious food without compromising on health. You don’t have to sacrifice taste and yet still gain healthy nutritional options by opting for lean meats like chicken breasts or fish. They are lower in fat and can be just as flavorful when grilled properly. You can even have plant-based options including veggie skewers, portobello mushrooms, or plant-based burgers to cater to all dietary preferences. ​

Another way to offer your family healthy options is to grill fruits, such as peaches or pineapples for a sweet and healthy dessert option. Try to limit high sugar content sauces, and instead use dry rubs or homemade sauces with reduced sugar content to enhance flavor without compromising health.

​These choices ensure that the BBQ is both tasty and nourishing for the whole family. ​Jenny suggests incorporating more vegetables into the BBQ spread. Grilled vegetables like zucchini, bell peppers, and asparagus not only add color to your plate but are packed with nutrients. Jenny recommends using marinades made from olive oil, lemon juice, and herbs to enhance flavor without adding excess calories.

Jenny says, “As a mother of four, I know the challenges of feeding a family. Part of the reason that I love to grill is because it’s quick and easy. Throwing some chicken on the grill while I prepare a salad or side dish makes dinner time less stressful. I find that involving my children in the process can also be important. My kids love to help and making them part of the process makes them more excited about the meal.

“My best tip is to prep your ingredients ahead of time. Marinate meat the night before and chop vegetables in the morning.”

Fun Entertainer: Raymond 

I love BBQs because they’re fun and I love the food! I like to make up mini portions like sliders or small skewers. They also happen to be great for young children since they are easy to hold. I like setting up a DIY food station/topping bar for burgers and hot dogs, allowing kids to customize their meals. ​

You can also set up fun games to play, for example, organize a scavenger hunt or water balloon toss to keep the little ones entertained. ​Even adults like to play games! Lawn games like cornhole or frisbee can keep guests entertained while the food is being prepared. You can make your own s’mores or fruit popsicles for dessert. I like creating a memorable atmosphere. It’s not just about the food; it’s about the experience. I set the stage for each event based on the type of guests I have invited to the party.

I like to use themed decorations such as a Hawaiian luau, 50s style, or retro 80s. To me, making a music playlist and curating it to the theme is super important, as well as adding both classic hits and current music. I like to add dance music too, since a backyard is a great dance floor.

You can use string lights or lanterns to create a cozy ambiance as the sun sets, and arrange seating areas with cushions and blankets for a relaxed vibe. ​ By focusing on these elements, you can ensure that your guests have a fun and engaging experience. ​

Eco-Friendly: Berta

Being environmentally conscious at a BBQ is both responsible and rewarding. It’s great to have fun and be kind to the planet at the same time. Use eco-friendly tableware by opting for reusable plates and utensils to reduce waste. ​ Choose sustainable fuel by selecting natural lump charcoal or propane over traditional charcoal for a cleaner burn. ​You can setup a compost bin for organic waste like vegetable peels, and a recycling station to ensure that recyclables like cans and bottles are properly sorted. ​ These practices help minimize the environmental impact of your BBQ while still enjoying all the fun. ​It is a great idea to source locally by shopping at farmers’ markets to support local farmers and it also ensures fresher ingredients.

Beginner Griller: Jeff

Even if you are new to the world of grilling, it can be easy and you can start with simple recipes. Burgers and hot dogs are a great simple meal and very easy to grill. If you are a beginner, you should preheat the grill before cooking to make sure everything cooks evenly and does not stick. Also, use a meat thermometer. It takes the guesswork out of cooking and ensures your meat is safe to eat -160 F for meat 165 F for poultry.

Hot dogs and thinly made burgers also don’t need too much time on the grill. After you master those items, the sky’s the limit, and you can try anything after that. You may even find that you hardly use your oven inside, because it becomes so much fun to grill.

Dessert Lover: Estee

No BBQ is complete without dessert, and instead of heading to the store to pick up cake and cookies, you can grill up some sweet peaches – add a drizzle of honey, and a sprinkle of cinnamon, and your meal is completed. Another easy idea is to grill pound cake slices. Grill them until they’re slightly crispy, then top with fresh berries or a scoop of pareve ice cream and whipped cream. And we all know that everything tastes better with whipped cream!

Veggie Committed: Laura

Grilling vegetables brings out their natural sweetness and adds a smoky, charred flavor that enhances their taste and texture. To prepare, simply toss sliced vegetables like zucchini, bell peppers, eggplant, mushrooms, onions, or asparagus in olive oil, salt, pepper, and your choice of herbs or spices. Place them directly on a preheated grill or in a grill basket, and cook over medium-high heat for a few minutes per side until they develop grill marks and become tender.

Grilled vegetables make a perfect side dish, salad topping, or even a hearty vegetarian main when served over grains or paired with a flavorful sauce.

Helpful Hints

Preparation is key to a smooth BBQ, and organization is key. Follow these steps for your next BBQ to run smoothly and efficiently:

Create a Menu: Plan the dishes ahead of time, considering dietary restrictions and preferences.

Prep Ingredients: Marinate meats and chop vegetables the night before to save time.

Set a Timeline: Establish a cooking schedule to ensure everything is ready at the right time​.

Delegate Tasks: Assign roles to family members, from setting the table to grilling.

Safety Tips

Safety First, Fun Always:  Keeping safe to prevent accidents is crucial.

Inspect the Grill: Check for gas leaks or damaged parts before use.

Keep a Fire Extinguisher Nearby: Be prepared for any flare-ups.

Maintain Distance: Keep children and pets away from the grill area.

Avoid Leaving the Grill Unattended: Always have someone monitoring the grill.

Marinade Ideas

Garlic-Herb Marinade

1. Olive oil, minced garlic, lemon juice, fresh rosemary, thyme, salt, and black pepper
2. Let veggies marinate for 20–30 minutes before grilling

Balsamic Glaze

1. Balsamic vinegar, olive oil, Dijon mustard, honey, and crushed black pepper
2. Adds a sweet-tangy depth, especially good for mushrooms, onions, and peppers

Spicy Chili-Lime

1. Olive oil, lime juice, chili powder, cumin, smoked paprika, and a pinch of cayenne
2. Great for corn, zucchini, and carrots

Asian-Inspired Soy-Ginger Marinade

1. Soy sauce, sesame oil, grated ginger, garlic, rice vinegar, and a touch of brown sugar
2. Perfect for eggplant, peppers, or snap peas

Dry Seasoning Ideas (for quick prep)

Middle Eastern: Hawaage, salt, pepper (This works unreal for lamb.)

Mediterranean: Oregano, thyme, garlic powder, paprika, sea salt

BBQ-style: Smoked paprika, onion powder, brown sugar, chili powder

Indian-inspired: Curry powder, turmeric, cumin, coriander, black pepper

Simple & Classic: Sea salt, cracked pepper, and fresh chopped herbs like parsley or basil after grilling

I hope you all enjoy these helpful tips for a great summer BBQ! Michele

If you or a loved one needs help, call (718) GET-SAFE. All calls are confidential. For more information, visit www.thesafefoundation.org.

Every year, The Safe Foundation holds a single, vital fundraising event – one that fuels the lifeline we extend to individuals and families in crisis. With no other fundraising campaigns throughout the year, this annual event is not just important, it’s essential to the continued operation of our clinics, programs, and educational initiatives. As a community-based nonprofit serving Brooklynand Deal, we rely on the generosity of donors who believe in our mission: to support individuals coping with addiction and related challenges through comprehensive, compassionate, and culturally competent care.

Founded in 2003, The Safe Foundation has helped over 10,000 people reclaim their lives. What began as a small initiative to address substance use and gambling addiction in our local community has evolved into a multifaceted organization that treats addiction, nurtures families, educates youth, and promotes holistic wellness. Our impact is felt in schools, synagogues, clinics, and homes – and with your support, we can continue to meet the growing and urgent needs of the community we’re proud to serve.

A Holistic Approach to Healing

The foundation of Safe’s work is its client-centered clinical services. Our licensed outpatient clinics in Brooklyn and Deal offer substance use and gambling addiction treatment providing accessible and personalized care. Our experienced team of credentialed professionals creates tailored treatment plans that respect each client’s history, cultural background, and personal goals.

Addiction doesn’t happen in isolation and neither does healing. That’s why we offer robust support to the family members of those in treatment, recognizing that recovery is a journey best taken with a strong and informed support system. Through family therapy, psychoeducation, and counseling, we help loved ones navigate their own challenges and contribute meaningfully to the recovery process.

We don’t stop at treating addiction. At Safe, we view prevention and education as core to our mission. That’s where our extended programs come in, each one targeting different stages of life and areas of need, always with the goal of strengthening the community from within.

Our youth-focused initiative, Project Safe, delivers vital prevention education to grades five through twelve for one period per week throughout the entire school year in over ten schools in Brooklyn and Deal. This program helps middle and high school students understand the risks associated with substance misuse, vaping, and gambling, and equips them with the tools to make healthy choices. Through school partnerships, interactive sessions, and real-life stories, Project Safe empowers students to take control of their futures before problems begin.

Treatment, Empowerment, and Prevention

Prevention isn’t just about saying no to drugs – it’s about helping young people understand why they matter and how they can protect their mental and emotional well-being. Project Safe’s strength lies in its relatability: our educators speak the language of teens and meet them where they are, helping to create safer, more informed communities from the ground up.

Raising children in today’s world is not easy, and parents often feel unprepared to address the complex emotional and behavioral issues their kids face. Our Safe Parenting program offers educational workshops and events for parents seeking to raise confident, resilient children.

Safe Parenting helps families build strong foundations, enhancing communication, reinforcing boundaries, and promoting emotional intelligence. By focusing on empowerment, we help parents guide their children through life’s challenges without turning to harmful coping mechanisms like substance use or disordered eating.

Another essential component of our holistic model is The Mindful Eating Project. Eating disorders and body image struggles are deeply entwined with emotional health, and this program offers education, support, and healing for those who struggle in silence.

Through community events, workshops, and partnerships with credentialed professionals, the Mindful Eating Project opens up conversations about binge eating, dieting, movement, and body acceptance. It is designed to serve those who may be recovering from an eating disorder or simply seeking a healthier relationship with food, exercise, and self-image.

By integrating intuitive eating, mindfulness, and body-neutral language, the Mindful Eating Project helps people move away from shame and toward self-compassion. It’s another way Safe supports the community not just in crisis, but in building lifelong wellness.

Rooted in Community

What makes The Safe Foundation unique is our deep connection to the community we serve. Our staff, board members, and volunteers live and work in the neighborhoods where our clients live. We understand the unique cultural and familial dynamics that shape behavior and influence recovery, and we tailor our services accordingly.

Our programs are grounded in respect, trust, and cultural competency. Whether it’s a teenager attending a Project Safe class, a parent learning new tools through Safe Parenting, or a client receiving therapy at our clinic, every person who walks through our doors is treated with dignity and care. We don’t just serve the community – we are the community.

Why Your Support Matters

The Safe Foundation runs year-round programming and serves hundreds of clients at any given time. Every dollar raised directly supports clinical care, school outreach, parenting education, and wellness programs. Your donation enables us to say “yes” when someone calls for help. It ensures we can keep our doors open, our counselors available, and our services accessible to all who need them.

Please join us Friday morning, June 27^th, at 9am at the home of James and Ricci Haddad for our 22^nd Annual Breakfast Fundraiser, where every donation brings us one step closer to safeguarding our community’s future. Together, we can build a healthier, more resilient community.​

We invite you to be a part of our mission. Attend our fundraiser. Make a donation. Share our story. Together, we can continue to offer hope, healing, and holistic support to the people who need it most.

To donate Venmo @safe-foundation, or visit our website at www.thesafefoundation.org/donate.

If you or a loved one needs help, call (718) GET-SAFE. All calls are confidential. For more information, visit www.thesafefoundation.org.

Love and Fear

How do we work through the negative forces inside of us?

Rav Wolbe (Alei Shur, Vol. II, p. 363) recommends having a discussion with those forces: “Listen, I have no choice here. Hashem is my King; He’s the Boss over my impulses and urges, too. I am responsible for all my deeds. Gd gave me so much, and I owe Him so much. So do me a favor, guys, and just behave.”

Positive self-affirmations are powerful tools, which help cultivate a more positive and optimistic outlook on life. They allow us to reframe our negative thoughts and beliefs, replacing them with positive, empowering ones that help us to feel confident, motivated, and capable.

By taking control of our inner dialogue, we can influence our emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in a positive way, leading to greater well-being and success in all aspects of our lives.

Regularly repeating positive affirmations helps to ingrain them in our subconscious mind, allowing them to shape our beliefs and attitudes. This can lead to a ripple effect, positively impacting not only our own self-perception, but also our relationships with others, our work performance, and our overall life satisfaction.

Whether it’s affirming our worth, reminding ourselves of our strengths, or simply focusing on the good in our lives, the power of positive affirmations should not be underestimated. By making self-affirmation a daily habit, we can harness its potential to transform our lives for the better.

Now, one may ask, “What if I don’t want to get up in the morning in time to say Kriat Shema, especially on a Sunday morning?”

That’s when we have to remember that this is not the real us. The yetzer hara has stolen our identity, convincing us that we don’t want to get up. Actually, we want to get up; it’s the yetzer hara that doesn’t want us to get up. And the yetzer hatov, which is speaking to us in second person, has to say, “Do you know what you owe Gd? You’re sleeping on His mattress. You’re living in His house. The least you can do is get up in time and pray.”

We must have a dialogue with ourselves, to figure out how to cajole ourselves into doing the right thing.

But it’s a little bit deeper than that.

The Gemara (Sotah 47a) says that when dealing with a tinok, a child, one must employ the dictum: “S’mol docheh v’yamin mekarevet – The left hand drives away and the right hand draws near.”  According to Rashi, if we’re too tough on a child, he is going to run away and commit suicide out of fear. Pull him close with the dominant hand, the right one, and only use the weak hand, the left one, to push away and to discipline him.

Essentially, this is a carrot and stick approach to motivation, and actually mirrors the way we are supposed to motivate ourselves regarding our relationship with Hashem: love and fear.

Love-based motivation refers to the drive that comes from a positive, internal force such as a desire for happiness, fulfillment, or connection with others. Love-based motivation helps individuals pursue their goals and aspirations in a way that is aligned with their values and sense of purpose. It leads to feelings of happiness, satisfaction, and a sense of belonging, and can be a powerful force in overcoming challenges and obstacles.

Fear-based motivation, on the other hand, is driven by an external force such as the fear of failure, rejection, or negative consequences. While fear can be a powerful motivator, it can also lead to stress, anxiety, and a lack of confidence. However, when used in moderation, fear-based motivation can help individuals to avoid dangerous or harmful situations, and to take steps to protect themselves.

The end-goal is to find a balance between the two. When individuals are driven primarily by love, they may overlook important practical considerations or avoid taking necessary risks. When they are driven primarily by fear, they may become paralyzed by anxiety or become overly cautious. By balancing love-based and fear-based motivation, individuals can find a healthy and sustainable way to pursue their goals and aspirations, leading to greater well-being and success.

TAKEAWAY:

As will everything else in life, balance is key. In order to be the best oveid Hashem possible, work on ways to serve Him out of both love and fear.