Jack Gindi

My eldest son lived by a silent code – I discovered it only after his passing. Shaun had a way of making people feel seen. He didn’t just ask, “How are you?” – he would say, “What’s going on in your world?”

During his shiva, more than one friend shared how this simple shift in questioning invited genuine warmth and trust. He instinctively knew how to be real with the truth, raw with emotion, and focused on what matters.

This revelation inspired me to reflect on the code of resilience I’ve discovered during my journey of life. The four principles are: being real with our facts, raw with our feelings, and relevant in our focus, to achieve the results we seek.

I found applying this code to current challenges helps me process feelings and guides me in making decisions.

It’s a code for transformation, offering clarity, purpose, and process to reset your direction.

When life hits hard, try applying this code of being REAL, RAW, and RELEVANT, to achieve the RESULTS you seek. This code won’t erase the challenges but it can help you forge a path to resilience.

REAL: Facing the Facts

Every transformation starts with truth. What’s happening? – not what you wish or fear. Being REAL means stripping away the illusions and confronting the raw facts of your situation.

When I first assessed a current building project in Denver, the facts were daunting. It wasn’t in good shape. However, we saw opportunities where others saw problems.

This might mean acknowledging a strained relationship, a financial setback, or a career misstep. Acknowledging the truth isn’t easy, but it’s necessary. It provides the solid foundation upon which everything else is built.

RAW: Honoring Your Feelings

We shouldn’t ignore our feelings; we must understand them. Being RAW means letting yourself feel without letting emotions dictate your decisions.

I felt fear, shame, and regret when I lost my real estate portfolio in 2009. For weeks I avoided those feelings, hoping they’d go away. But it wasn’t until I sat with them – allowed myself to feel – that I began to see a path forward.

Your emotions are like a compass. Fear shows what you value. Regret highlights where you wish to change. Honoring your emotions doesn’t mean wallowing in them – it means listening to them and using them as a guide.

RELEVANT: Focus on What Matters Most

When overwhelmed, being RELEVANT means asking, “What deserves my energy now?” After Shaun’s passing, I found his diary entries, which gave my mission to help teens and their families a new, urgent focus.

Relevance requires discipline. What deserves your energy and attention at this moment? Our biggest breakthroughs come from focusing on what we can create, not on our losses.

RESULTS: Define the Fruits of Action

Defining what success is in each situation is how transformation happens. Big changes can feel insurmountable, so start with small actions.

We didn’t start by fixing everything at once with the Denver building. We reinforced one beam, then another. Each step made the building stronger.

In life, results aren’t about perfection or speed. They’re about consistent progress. “Whatever it is, define success. Then, take purposeful steps to achieve that success, be it repairing a relationship or recovering from an illness.

Bringing It All Together

We applied the principles of the CODE in repurposing the building in Denver. At first glance, the structure seemed beyond saving – its foundation cracked, its purpose outdated. But we embraced the challenge by being REAL with the facts, acknowledging the building’s weaknesses and potential, and RAW with our initial doubts. We stayed RELEVANT by focusing on what mattered – reinforcing key structural points, and defined our desired RESULTS: transforming the building into something stronger and more valuable than ever before.

The CODE points – REAL, RAW, RELEVANT, and RESULTS – don’t exist in isolation. They work together, creating a compass to guide you.

Remember: Every builder follows a code – a set of principles that guides their work. Whether reconstructing a business, rebuilding family bonds, or rediscovering purpose after loss, living by a code can help illuminate your path.

What Challenges Are You Facing?

Try breaking it down:

What are the REAL facts about the situation?

What RAW emotions need acknowledgment?

What’s most RELEVANT right now – what have you been doing, and what must be done to shift it?

What RESULTS would signal progress?

Sometimes, the most significant breakthroughs come from asking better questions.

Rabbi Zamir Cohen

The nature and meaning of dreams have fueled the imaginations of modern scientists no less than they challenged the thinkers of the ancient world.

What is a dream and where does it come from?

Do dreams contain hidden messages?

Is there a use for the good or bad information that appears in a dream, or is a dream merely a kind of illusion unworthy of serious reflection?

A survey of the science’s approach to dreams reveals an incremental change that has taken place over the years.

Only 120 years ago, the intellectual community scoffed at the idea that dreams were worthy of serious study, deeming them mental illusions that carried no deep significance.

All this changed with the arrival of Sigmund Freud (1856-1939), the central figure in a movement teaching that dreams are key elements for revealing the deep motivations and obstacles buried in the human soul. Freud claimed that when a person is awake, his or her consciousness serves as a kind of gatekeeper, filtering out some of the richest voices of the soul. During sleep, the “censorship” of the waking consciousness no longer controls the swirling pool of the subconscious, and the mind is flooded with all variety of messages, ideas, and desires normally buried in the furthest recesses of the soul.

But what about the supernatural element of dreams? Freud addressed this question, too, rejecting the notion entirely. In the conclusion to his book, The Interpretation of Dreams, Freud wrote that the idea that a dream could reveal anything about the future was worthless.

Futuristic Insights

However, in the decades since the publication of Freud’s work on dreams, scientific researchers have collected testimonials, evidence, and data demonstrating that dreams can actually provide knowledge of the future. This evidence, verified by careful and precise tests, has forced scientists to reject Freud’s stance on the value of dreams as a source of insight into future events – even while many researchers still remain baffled about the essence of dreams and their interpretations.

Professor Yaakov Bazak, a noted Israeli judge and legal scholar, wrote the following lines in his book Beyond the Senses, after his own experiences confirming the power of dreams:

Taking into account the minute details that came true, it is extremely difficult to explain the actualization of dreams as mere coincidence. Anyone willing to approach this topic without preconceptions must admit – at the very least – that the relationship between dreams and the future deserves serious scientific study. It is simply not logical to claim that there is no basis whatsoever for the power of dreams to relay information about future events. It is true that some dreams can be explained as the result of subconscious reflections on events that happened in reality. In other cases the element of telepathy must be considered. Some dreams really are the result of “sheer coincidence.” But after all is said and done, one cannot deny those dreams that do carry solid evidence of predicting the future and cannot be explained by any of the approaches listed above. Unfortunately, we must continue to wait patiently for scientific tools capable of investigating the prophetic foundation of dreams.

While there is certainly no universal agreement among contemporary scientists concerning the ability of dreams to predict the future, some researchers have indeed concluded that the phenomenon exists, with England leading the international community in this field. Among the most notable examples occurred in 1966, when many people had dreams predicting a disaster in Aberfan, Wales, a small village where a mountain of coal slag collapsed over a school, burying 144 people.

As a result of this incident, a British institute was launched with the expressed purpose of researching the possibility that dreams can predict disasters. Today, a number of similar private institutes – often staffed by volunteers – have taken on similar projects worldwide, gathering data and personal testimonials on the topic. Even though this area of research is still new, the amount of available data has grown dramatically in recent years.

The Torah’s View

Does the Torah completely ignore dreams, as did many scientists of the past? Does it regard dreams as a purely psychological phenomenon, as did Freud? Are we fated to remain in the dark about the concept of predictions through dreams, just like so many researchers of our generation?

Not surprisingly, the Torah sages were far ahead of scientists of the past, Freud, and today’s scientists. A clear understanding of the Torah’s approach to dreams eliminates the confusion surrounding the topic, and answers all the major questions in the field, one by one.

Before we cite teachings of the sages on dreams, let us first briefly consider the phenomenon of sleep in general. Only after gaining an understanding of the various elements and reasons for sleep can we suggest an approach to understanding the nature and power of dreams.

The Torah knew thousands of years ago what science has only discovered recently. Namely, that the true “I” of each of us is an internal, spiritual being wrapped in a material, physical exterior composed of flesh and bones. Just like clothing cannot move without a person wearing it, the human body cannot live and function in the world without this interior, spiritual essence. After hundreds of years of denial and doubt – and thanks to new research in the field of near-death experiences – even noted scientists now understand that death is not the end. Rather, it is the release of the true, spiritual person from the bonds of the material, temporal clothing of the body sewn together from transitory flesh and bones.

What is Sleep?

A sleeping person lies in an unconscious state – almost like death. He does not receive information from his environment or maintain any awareness of what takes place around him. Yet, he still breathes and can be reawakened. Thus, he is not really dead, but neither is he truly living. The Talmud therefore states, “Sleep is 1/60th of death.” In other words, the process and the circumstances of sleep are very similar to those of death, though only to a small extent. To put it another way, we can say that there is a separation of the soul from the body during sleep similar to the separation that takes place at the time of death. If this is true, how does a human being continue to breathe while sleeping and then “wake up alive” afterwards?

The Ramchal (Rabbi Moshe Haim Luzzato), a great Kabbalist, writes in his book Derech Hashem (3:1) that the soul is comprised of five parts: nefesh, ruah, neshamah, hayah, and yehidah. Some of these parts leave the body during sleep, which accounts for the deep rest experienced, but others remain, ensuring that basic bodily functions continue. This is why sleep is considered 1/60th of death.

Death separates the soul from the body completely – each and every one of these parts of the soul – and the body moves fully from a living state to a dead one. By contrast, a sleeping person can still live and breathe, despite the unconscious state brought on by the departure of some parts of the soul. These parts return to the body at the conclusion of the required hours of sleep, or as a result of a sudden arousal, such as when a sleeping person hears his name called or hears a harsh, sudden noise. Then his soul returns to the body in a flurry. This is often marked by the deep breath people take before opening their eyes.

The Benefits of Sleep

The Kabbalists taught that flesh, like any inanimate object, does not require sleep. However, in order for a person’s soul to function properly, it must occasionally receive sustenance from its supernal source – much like a battery occasionally needs to be recharged. If this source would “charge” the soul while the person is awake, the person would be unable to withstand the power, and would collapse, We might draw an analogy to a strong electrical charge flowing through a fuse, or boiling water suddenly being poured into a thin crystal glass. The fuse would burn out and the glass would shatter. For this reason, the soul must separate itself from the body when it is to be “recharged,” leaving behind the “nefesh” portion to ensure that the body continues to function.

This is the meaning of the verse, “In Your hand I will place my spirit [ruah]” (Tehillim 21:6). A person’s “ruah” leaves him at night, but not the “nefesh,” as its departure would cause death.

Sleep, then, is a process of spiritual replenishment. After the soul receives its bounty of energy as required, it returns to the body to recharge and refuel it so that it can awaken like new. This, too, is the deep meaning of the verse, “New in the mornings, your faith is great” (Echah 3:23). This is also the reason why a person goes to sleep tired and awakens refreshed. The physical body does not experience sensations such as “refreshed,” “tired,” “sleepy,” or “awake.” These terms refer only to the soul – the spiritual being.

(These concepts are developed at length in the writings of the Arizal – Sha’ar Hahakdamot, Derash 3.)

What is a Dream?

Here, as in many other instances, the sages have masterfully condensed a tremendous amount of knowledge into several pithy phrases. We will begin with several Biblical verses and Talmudic statements, and then proceed to explore the deeper meaning of these passages through the teachings of the Ramchal.

The prophet Zecharya (10:2) declares, “False dreams comfort in vain.” And in the Book of Iyov (23:15-16) we read, “In the dream of a night vision…people’s ears will hear.”

The Talmud (Berachot) states, “A dream is 1/60th of prophecy,” but also teaches:

“Just as there cannot be wheat without straw, similarly, there cannot be a dream without some nonsense. A person who dreams sees the reflections of his heart, as it says: ‘You are the King and your thoughts rise up when you lie down’ (Daniel 2:29).”

As discussed earlier, sleep results from the departure of certain parts of the soul from the body. The body continues to function through the soul remaining within it, though it lacks to ability to stand, walk, listen, or understand. Note that our ability to stand erect while awake is due to the soul’s “support” of the physical body allowing it to resist the pull of gravity. When the soul departs at the moment of death, the body loses its ability to withstand the force of gravity, and thus falls to the ground. This is the reason why a dead body weighs a little more than it did during life. As the Talmud says: “A living thing holds itself [up].”

The parts of the soul that separate from the body during sleep – ruah, neshamah, hayah, and yehidah – are the higher and purer forms of the soul. These are also the parts that perform higher functions when one is awake, such as concentration, the retrieval and analysis of information from the brain’s memory banks, decision making, the ability to draw conclusions, emotions, and more.

The lower part of the soul – nefesh – controls breathing, imagination, and other “simple” actions. This part of the soul remains in the body during sleep, as reflected in the continued activity of the respiratory system and the imagination. This is why in a dream a person can see himself in faraway places that he had wished to visit, or winning long coveted prizes, or even witnessing a disaster from which he harbors hidden fears while awake.

A Divine Gift

Sleep is a gift from Hashem that allows us to release our tensions and fears, as well as to recall our hopes and desires – precisely during a period of rest, when we gather strength to awake renewed for a new day. (The physical body itself has absolutely no connection to thought, imagination, or the like. Only the parts of the soul listed above, which are stationed in the body, create the sensation that certain parts of the body can think or feel.)

Concerning these types of dreams, the verse says, “False dreams comfort in vain!” Such dreams have no real meaning and are only a means to release various tensions and fears that have accumulated during the day, saving the person from collapse. They teach us about a person’s inner world: What troubles the person? What frightens him? Where does he or she wish to go? What are his or her desires and hopes? And so on.

However, there is also another kind of dream, one which connects to deeper spiritual elements, and which, if they could be seen, would fill the earth with visions of uncontrollable forces beyond description.

When people are awake and all parts of the soul are grounded in the body and the material realm, the connection with spiritual entities is naturally blocked from normal awareness. However, during sleep, when the body is in some sense “dead” due to departure of the highest components of the soul, these detached parts of the soul are free to encounter other, similar spiritual beings, and receive from them information that they are otherwise unable to access, including facts about what will happen in the future.

Partial Prophecy

This information flows directly into the spiritual element that remains in the body during sleep, appearing in the form of dreams. This is why a person can awake with knowledge of the future. About dreams such as these our sages have said, “A dream is 1/60th of prophecy.” However, an ordinary person, who lacks the pure mind and spirit of a prophet, does not grasp a high level of spirituality. Thus, the Sages have said, “There is no dream without some nonsense.” In other words, even a truthful dream has elements of base human hopes and fears mixed within it, for these continue to operate even as spiritual information flows to the sleeping individual.

The Kabbalah also teaches that the purpose of a bad dream, which predicts dire events, is to give us the opportunity to actually alter the negative decree. By changing our behavior and aligning ourselves with the will of our Creator, we are able to change the future. If a person did not have a chance to preempt the evil occurrence through proper behavior, Hashem would not have sent the dream in the first place.

As noted, the Torah’s knowledge of the nature and meaning of dreams preceded Freud by thousands of years. Even science is now following the Torah’s lead, as the scientific community has little doubt that some dreams do foretell the future – though science itself does not know how to handle or explain this fact. As an example of the scientific community’s confusion concerning the nature of dream, we repeat Professor Yaakov Bazak’s words cited earlier: “Unfortunately, we must continue to wait patiently for scientific tools with the ability to investigate the prophetic foundations of dreams.”

The Creator of the world, however, who knows all the mysteries of His creation, revealed this secret in the Torah, along with the entire compendium of Divine teachings meant for us to use in a proper, helpful, and healthy way.