Rabbi Yehuda Finchas

Rabbi, I went to Rabbi Goldberg’s shiur, and he mentioned that whenever possible, pikuach nefesh (saving a life) on Shabbat should be done with a shinui (a modification of the usual practice) or by a non-Jew. If so, why are Hatzalah members Jewish? Is this correct for Sephardim as well?

The Principle of Pikuach Nefesh

Pikuach nefesh is a fundamental principle in Judaism, emphasizing the sanctity of human life. It means the “safeguarding of life” and underscores the importance of protecting life above all else, even at the expense of overriding all other mitzvot, with the sole exception of the three cardinal sins of murder, idolatry, and adultery.

Practically, this means that when someone’s life is in danger, it is not only permissible but obligatory to violate halacha if necessary to save their life. For example, if a person suddenly falls ill on Shabbat, we are obligated to provide lifesaving medical treatment, call an ambulance, or drive to the hospital, even though these actions would otherwise be forbidden.

Shulchan Aruch and the Rema: A Difference of Opinion

The Shulchan Aruch and the Rema disagree on whether it is ideal to perform pikuach nefesh actions with either a shinui or through a non-Jew, as long as it does not cause a delay in treatment. The Shulchan Aruch (O.C. 328:12) rules that when desecrating Shabbat for a choleh she-yesh bo sakana (a person whose life is in danger), one should try to have a Jewish adult perform the action, rather than a non-Jew. The Rema adds that if it is possible to do so without delay with a shinui, it should be done that way. If a non-Jew can perform the action without causing a delay, then a non-Jew should do it. However, if there is concern that the non-Jew might delay, it is better not to have a non-Jew perform the action.

In contrast, when it comes to a yoledet (a woman in labor), the Shulchan Aruch and the Rema agree that a shinui should be employed whenever possible. I will explain why in more detail in the next edition.

Sephardic Practice: Hacham Ovadia and Hacham Benzion

Hacham Ovadia, zt”l, (Hazon Ovadya, Shabbat Vol. 3, p. 281) follows the Shulchan Aruch position and rules that a Jewish adult should perform pikuach nefesh, as there is concern that if you seek a non-Jew, you might not find one in time, thereby endangering the patient. Hacham Benzion Abba Shaul (Ohr Lezion 2:36:2) reasons that, since pikuach nefesh is such a great mitzvah of saving lives, one should rush to the opportunity to save a person’s life, rather than searching for someone else to do so.

Hutra vs. Dechuya: The Underlying Debate

Hacham Ovadia (Yabia Omer, Vol. 10, O.C. 30) explains the difference of opinion between the Shulchan Aruch and the Rema. This difference depends on whether pikuach nefesh on Shabbat is hutra or dechuya. Hutra means the act does not constitute chilul Shabbat at all, it is as if Shabbat is a “weekday” in this regard. Dechuya, on the other hand, means that pikuach nefesh overrides or takes precedence over Shabbat.

Another ramification of this debate is whether one should perform pikuach nefesh with a shinui, even if a shinui would not endanger the patient. If Shabbat is considered dechuya, a shinui should be performed to reduce the severity of the prohibition. However, if Shabbat is hutra, it can be done in a regular fashion.

Conclusion

To answer the original question, there is a difference between Sephardi and Ashkenazi minhag regarding pikuach nefesh on Shabbat. According to Sephardi practice, pikuach nefesh is performed in a regular fashion and there is no requirement to use a shinui or to involve a non-Jew. Ashkenazi practice aims to minimize chilul Shabbat whenever possible. This is done by either asking a non-Jew to perform the lifesaving action or performing it with a shinui. However, this is only applicable when there is no risk of delay or danger to the patient.

This distinction also explains why Hatzalah members are usually Jewish. Every call for assistance is potentially life-threatening, and every second is critical. In such cases, the priority is immediate and decisive action, without unnecessary complications or delays. When someone’s life is at risk and time is critical, immediate intervention is necessary. Even to pause and confirm with a rabbi whether one is opting for the correct course of action could result in a delay that may be fatal (S.A. O.C. 328:2). Those who perform it with urgency and diligence are praiseworthy (Yoma 84b).

Rabbi Yehuda Finchas is a recognized expert, lecturer, and author on Medical Halacha. He is the head of the Torat Habayit Medical Halacha Institute. His latest book is “Brain Death in Halacha and the Tower of Babel Syndrome.” To contact Rabbi Finchas, please email rabbi@torathabayit.com.

QUESTION:

Dear Rabbi Ali,

I would say that my marriage is pretty good. I have one area that is the source of tension and would appreciate some insights as to what I can do. My wife does not like going to my parents for Shabbat. She also doesn’t want them coming over. This applies to my whole family as well. She gets upset when I talk to them and says that I’m choosing them over her. I know she has some issues with my father, but nothing that seems to warrant all of this. Is there anything I can do to stay connected with my family while keeping the peace?

R’ Ali’s Response:

Unfortunately, this is very common and I’d like to address a few points that are very relevant to anyone going through this. First, everyone should be aware that when they get married, their spouse should not be cutting ties with their family. Family is extremely important and should be part of people’s lives for many years to come. Family gives stability, and in many cases no friend can replace family. I cannot overemphasize the damage that people do by “boxing out” their spouse from their family. People must realize that although they may have a valid point and feel uncomfortable with their spouse’s family, it’s a grave mistake to write them off.

Additionally, I’ve seen many people talk negatively to their spouse about their family. This causes much pain and resentment. If something bothers you, talk about it like a mature adult. Venting negativity to your spouse about their family is not advised at all.

People have a misconception about married life. Lines such as, “your wife/husband comes first,” get thrown around in the wrong places. There are halachic and hashkafic issues many times and a rabbi should be consulted. Just as an example, if a wife’s father asks her to do something conflicting with the husband’s wishes, the wife must go with the husband. This does not work the other way.

Please do not use this article for any halachic decisions, I’m just pointing out that there are times when “the spouse comes first,” and times that it may not apply.

The question you are asking is what should you do now that your wife is “boxing you out” from your family? For starters, you should always try to communicate how you feel in a nice and non-threatening way. Validating her feelings, but state clearly how you feel. “I know you have a hard time going to my parents and I understand you completely. However, I need to stay connected on a basic level to my family.” Try to find a compromise that works for both of you.

If she has a specific issue with your family members, it would be ideal to attempt to resolve it. This would need professional help in my opinion. Choose a third party that you both respect and trust.

Lastly, it should be clear that not having a connection with your family is not an option. You mention that she gets upset when you even speak with them. Say as gently as possible, “I know you have a problem when I speak with my family, however these relationships are extremely important to me and I must stay connected.”

I would advise to continue speaking with your family and being open with your wife. “I love you and I love them, and I hope we can resolve this as soon as possible.”

As I’ve mentioned, in this case I recommend meeting with a professional, as it is sensitive. Of course, I’m not talking about a situation where there’s an unhealthy relationship with you and your family members, which a professional could determine, as well.

In conclusion, family issues are very delicate and sensitive. All delicate and sensitive issues should be dealt with in a sensitive manner. Many times, the issues are multifaceted and truly are complex. Both parties should understand how important family is, as well as how uncomfortable the other one may feel around certain family members. When people feel understood and that the other person does not think they’re crazy, even complicated situations become much easier to navigate.

I’ve seen so many complicated situations navigated nicely and respectfully, and sadly many simple situations dealt with in a reckless manner, causing unnecessary anguish. Work together, understand each other, and you will see how smooth a complicated situation can be.

Dave Gordon

Tal Huber was glued to the television set in her Tel Aviv area home, watching as information came in about the Hamas terror attacks on her country. “I was in shock, just like everybody else,” said the Israeli graphic designer.

“That was a nightmare for all of us, and the situation with the hostages, on top of everything, horrible. I thought at that moment I needed to act.”

As the sun came up a day later, Huber headed to her design studio, at Giraff Visual Communications, on a mission to do her part. “I knew that I cannot continue doing my regular stuff, because it wasn’t important anymore.”

A Campaign Is Born

Huber reached out to two Israeli street artists, married couple Nitzan Mintz and Dede Bandaid (yes, that’s a pseudo name), for a brainstorming session on how to get the attention of New Yorkers, who she believed would be the best test case for a marketing campaign.

“I wanted people in the streets of New York to understand the horrible situation, with a visual, emotional language,” Huber said. Those sessions inspired her to design the “Kidnapped” posters of the Israeli hostages – in bold lettering, with the hostage’s name and age.

The format was based on missing persons posters and milk carton campaigns. Initially, it was unclear how many hostages there were, so Huber and her team used the information they had at the time, uploading just twenty posters. The posters fanned across Manhattan within a day, she said.

“People were starting to see that something was wrong. They came closer to the posters, and then they understood,” she said.

The Campaign Takes Off

Soon, the posters popped up in countries in the European Union, and to Huber’s surprise, they got traction in Turkey. “That amazed me, because we didn’t expect that [spreading of posters] to be so fast,

and so big.”

Volunteer teams translated the posters into French, Italian, and Spanish, with demand growing across the world, necessitating translation of the posters into another three dozen languages. By Huber’s reckoning, all but fifty countries in the world saw the faces of the kidnapped, in three thousand cities. It was “amazing to see” how the grassroots campaign has raised global awareness of the hostage crisis. Within six months of the launch, a million posters were downloaded.

Israeli soldiers in Gaza requested posters printed in Arabic, to place them on buildings, and “show the Gazans why we were there, and that we’re not going to leave until the hostages come home.”

Previously, Huber worked on branding projects for the Maccabiah Games, and designed the official stamp for Israel’s 70th anniversary. She intentionally did not include Israel’s blue and white colors on the hostage posters so as not to “turn it into only an Israeli or Jewish” issue.

Vandalism

What was surprising for Huber were the number of times she’s been notified of posters being torn down. “This is anti-Semitism, the brutal way they treated the posters. At first, it was scary. I didn’t know how to react,” she said. In an unexpected twist, the tearing down of posters motivated donors to help her grow the project – including the funding of placing the message on billboards, vehicles, and a large screen at Times Square.

“It was funny,” Huber said regarding people’s ingenuity to smear Vaseline on the posters to make it less likely people would put their hands on them to rip them down. Users on social media took the opportunity to add some levity, by running videos of the vandalism in reverse, to make it look like vandals were putting the posters up, instead of tearing them down. “Those videos went viral and they did a good job. It gave us the opportunity to take the message louder, and bigger.”

With the benefit of hindsight, Huber realized that it became more difficult for people to hit the streets on a postering campaign in the chill of winter, beginning two months after the terror attack. “People were cold, and it was frustrating. People stopped going out for a while,” she told Community. “Looking back, I would have tried to figure out a way to solve this, and keep the movement alive, in high volume.” Fortunately, she said that government officials in the US and Europe still noticed the posters in their cities. “It started to put pressure on governments and decision makers. If I look back, I would try to figure out how to keep it [the hostage crisis] all the time in a high level of discussion.”

Recognition

In recognition of her activism, Huber received the annual Presidential Award for Volunteerism, given by the President of Israel, Isaac Herzog.

In early November 2024, Ronald S. Lauder, President of the World Jewish Congress, presented Huber with the ninth WJC Teddy Kollek Award for the Advancement of Jewish Culture. It was noted at the ceremony that “through her ‘Kidnapped from Israel’ poster art, she has raised global awareness of the Israeli hostage crisis in Gaza and kept alive the hope for their safe return.”

“It’s not my comfort zone to stand in front of a huge crowd and speak, but I did it on behalf of the kidnapped, and the people who took action, and did this campaign around the world. So, it was very important,” she said regarding the ceremony.

“I feel like things are getting back to normal, and people are forgetting, going back to their life and

continuing their life. For me, every event or every recognition, is a chance to talk about the hostages and to keep it focused for everyone.”

The Campaign Continues

For Huber, the project is now more than just a humanitarian effort. She has made personal connections with those affected. “When I first started, I got thousands of messages from the families. They knew something was going on with this campaign, and they wanted their loved ones to be a part of it. I now know all their stories. I learned about all the people who were kidnapped.”

Tala Zilberman reached Huber from Kibbutz Nir Oz, one of the hardest hit communities, where some 74 hostages lived, including the Bibas family and their well known redheaded children, Kfir and Ariel. “She [Tala] started to work with me, giving me the names and pictures of the hostages from their kibbutz.”

With 101 hostages still being held in Gaza, Huber is determined to continue her activism, until they all return home. “I won’t stop until they’re back,” she said.

“I know there’s a lot of despair, and we all get tired. We feel hopeless, feeling that we don’t know if what we’re doing is changing anything. The politicians haven’t pushed this. When the first hostages came back, there was a lot of power in the streets, and people didn’t let go.

“This is why I’m trying to keep on going. We cannot stop. I do believe that people have the power to change and influence.”

Frieda Schweky

Regular readers of my columns here know that I normally cover light community topics. This month, however, I decided to share the thrilling story of my uncle’s escape from Iran.

Allow me to begin with some family background.

A Peaceful Country Devolves Into Chaos

My father, Amin – known in the community as Danny – grew up in Iran, and has fond memories of his childhood. Prior to the 1979 Iranian Revolution, Iran was a modern country, and my father loved it there. I grew up hearing amazing stories about his upbringing. Unfortunately, he never got to give it the proper goodbye.

It was common back then for Iranian youths to go abroad for high school, and so my father was in Brookyln when the radical Islamists took over Iran in 1979. (My Uncle Benny was also studying abroad, in France.) He was thus spared the turmoil that ensued with the Mullahs’ takeover. Needless to say, he has been unable to return ever since.

Stuck in Brooklyn, he was brought up in the Syrian community. To this day, my father is the only member of his family without a Persian accent, although of course he still speaks Farsi fluently. It was here in Brookyln that he met my mother, an immigrant from Egypt (her family was ousted from their home country, as well, but that’s a story for another time…). They got married before my grandparents were able to escape Iran, and so, unfortunately, my grandparents could not meet my mom or attend the wedding.

But the story I wish to tell is that of my uncle, Sean Sabz. Born in Tehran, Iran’s capital city, in 1969, Sean led a normal life during his early years. He attended Hebrew school, spent a great

deal of time playing outside, and would do mischief with his three older brothers whenever he pleased. When he was nine years old, however, everything quickly changed.

A Muslim extremist group began overtaking what was a peaceful country. Their unambiguously-stated goal was to oust Iran’s leader, Shah Pahlavi, and replace him with the rule of the Islamist figure Ayatollah Khomeini. Chaos erupted. Sean recalls hearing gunshots and extremists screaming, “Allahu Akbar” (“Gd is the greatest,” the cry sounded by jihadists as they set out to kill in the name of their religion) outside his house for many nights. The rebels were determined in pursing their cause, and were violent. Iran’s Jewish population knew they faced grave danger, and many fled, leaving behind everything they had built over the course of their lives.

The Shah, meanwhile, announced he had fallen sick with cancer, and went to Egypt for treatment, allowing Iran to fall into the hands of the violent, fanatical rebels while he escaped.

Escape Through the Mountains

After the revolution, life drastically changed. All schools in Iran – including the Jewish schools – were temporary closed, as the new government replaced educators with radical Islamists. Schools were no longer permitted to serve both boys and girls. Jewish subjects were no longer allowed to be taught. Women and girls were required to wear hijabs in public, no matter which religion they practiced. All these new laws were enforced at the threat of death.

Sean’s parents had a lot to sort out before trying to escape, but their son, Afsheen – now known as Alfred – turned 17, which meant that if he did not flee immediately, he would be drafted into the new governing authority’s army.

Sean’s parents devised a plan, hiring drug smugglers to secretly bring Sean and Alfred out of the country, for $1,000 each. The boys were joined by two other Jewish teens, a boy and a girl.

This trip was very dangerous, and Sean personally knew of someone who died while trying to escape along this route. The plan was to travel by foot through the mountains of northern Iran to Turkey, sleeping by day in caves and journeying by night. The nights were so brutal and exhausting that by the time they were able to stop, they had no trouble at all sleeping in caves.

“One could even mistake a rock for a pillow,” Sean says.

Members of the Kurdish population, who opposed the Islamist rebels, were hiding in the mountains, and they happily fed and helped Sean and his fellow travelers for a small fee. Sean quickly learned about the Kurdish people’s unusual traditions. For example, as long as your cup was upright, that meant you wanted more tea, and when you flipped your cup upside down, that meant you’ve had enough. Sean recalls the mountain people feeding him shakshuka with a thick layer of fat on top.

“Hiking up and around mountains took a lot of energy, and for that we needed to load up on calories,” Sean says of his exhausting experience.

The smugglers were surprised by Sean and his brother’s demeanor. They had grown accustomed to smuggling scared and crying children, but the Sabz’s were just the opposite, making jokes and playing around at times along the way, despite the grueling ordeal they were going through.

“We would have to run at night,” Sean tells. “At some points, we were even riding on horses with people chasing after us and bullets flying, like in an action movie.”

When they finally made it to the Iranian Turkish border, Sean and his group were interrogated separately by the Iranian border patrol. The smugglers prepared them for this, and all their stories matched up perfectly. The story was that they were going on vacation to Turkey and fully intended to return to Iran. The group was granted passage and accepted into Turkey as refugees, because at that time, the United Nations was paying the Turkish government $1,000 for each Iranian they helped.

A Family Reunited at Last

Sean and Alfred spent two months in Turkey with limited contact with their parents, awaiting paperwork for their transfer to Israel. They eventually entered Israel on tourist visas and spent the next four years at Hadasim, a Yeshiva with dormitory facilities. Their next destination would be New York.

When the brothers arrived in Brooklyn, they met their newborn nephew, Joey – also known as Poe – my oldest brother, who had been born just 18 days before their arrival. By this time, their mother Turan (who later chose the name Rachel), my late grandmother, had already established herself in Brooklyn. However, their father – my grandfather Yoseph (who B”H celebrated his 90th birthday this past December) – remained trapped in Iran, due to false accusations. His Muslim business partner had betrayed him, reporting him to authorities as a dishonest Jewish businessman.

During the lengthy court proceedings, officials offered him freedom on one condition – that he sign a document declaring his conversion to Islam. Though not particularly religious, my grandfather responded with remarkable courage: “You can call me whatever you want, but I am a Jew, I have Jewish blood.” Over time, the court officials came to recognize his integrity and eventually granted his release. This story fills me with pride as his granddaughter (which is why I felt it important to mention, despite the deviation from my uncle’s story).

After his release, Yoseph managed to escape Iran and reunite with his family in America, though at great cost – leaving behind his home and business, and having endured years of separation from his loved ones.

Sean’s parents later relocated to Great Neck, Long Island, joining a growing community of Jewish Iranian (also known as Persian) immigrants. Sean has divided his time between Los Angeles and New York over the years. His recent travels included a business exploration trip to Cuba, and he currently works as a contractor in Los Angeles.

Today, Sean cherishes time spent with his family, including his great-nieces and nephews. He and his family make a conscious effort to exercise the freedoms and rights they nearly lost years ago – a powerful reminder of their journey and resilience.