What does it say about our society when we turn to death as a solution to suffering? Those are the thoughts of many after the Medical Aid in Dying Act (S.138) was recently passed by the New York Senate and Assembly. The legislation proposes legalizing physician-assisted suicide for terminally ill individuals with a prognosis of six months or less to live. While supporters claim this measure offers a compassionate way to reduce suffering and preserve dignity, the legislation stands in direct contradiction to halacha and Torah principles.

The Sacredness of Life

From the perspective of halacha, life remains sacred even when clouded by pain, disability, or dependency. Halacha explicitly prohibits any action that hastens death. A person in the throes of dying (gosses) is still considered fully alive, deserving of care, not termination. In Masechet Semachot (1:3–4), Hazal teach: “One may not move a dying person… until he dies… One who touches or moves the gosses is considered as one who spills blood.” Rabbi Meir likens the dying person to a flickering flame: “Just as touching a fading flame can extinguish it, so too, touching the dying person can shorten their life.” The Gemara in Shabbat 151b reiterates: “One who closes the eyes of the dying person while the soul departs is a spiller of blood.” These sources reflect a profound reverence for life. Even subtle actions that hasten death – no matter how merciful in intention – are seen as serious Torah violations.

Undermining the Sanctity of Life

At the heart of the opposition to S.138 lies the concern that it sends a dangerous societal message: that some lives are no longer worth living and should be taken. This notion contradicts the foundational belief that every human life holds intrinsic value, regardless of condition, ability, or prognosis.“The souls are Mine” (Yechezkel 18:4). Halacha prioritizes the preservation of life over personal autonomy. A person’s control over their body does not extend to their life, because life is not personal property – it is a sacred trust from Hashem. The Rambam (Hilchot Rotze’ach 1:4) writes: “The soul of a person is the property of the Holy One, Blessed be He.” Similarly, Rambam (Hilchot Sanhedrin 18:6) rules that a confession to a crime deserving of capital punishment is not valid evidence in Beit Din, out of concern that a person may falsely confess to hasten their death. The Radbaz explains: “Because a person’s soul is not his own possession, but the possession of the Holy One, as it is said: ‘The souls are Mine.’”

Even fasting on Yom Kippur, if medically dangerous, is forbidden. Hacham Ovadia Yosef, zt”l, (Yechave Daat 1:61) rules: “If there is concern of possible danger to life, one must listen to the doctor and eat on Yom Kippur. If the patient is strict and fasts anyway, he is not considered pious – on the contrary, he will be punished.” This is based on the Torah’s words: “But for your own lifeblood I will require a reckoning… For man was created in the image of Gd” (Beresheet 9:5–6).

The Physician’s Role: Healing, Not Ending Life

Physicians are charged with healing. As the Torah states: “And you shall surely heal” (Shemot 21:19). Doctors are granted permission to treat and cure. Nowhere are they sanctioned to end life. Moreover, the mitzvah of “Do not stand idly by the blood of your fellow” (Vayikra 19:16) commands us to protect life, not to enable its end. Turning doctors into agents of death undermines the moral foundation of the medical profession and endangers vulnerable patients – especially the elderly, disabled, and those without strong support systems.

Conclusion: Choose Life

Though cloaked in language of dignity and compassion, the Medical Aid in Dying Act (S.138) represents a perilous shift in societal values. It threatens the sanctity of life, exposes the vulnerable to coercion or despair, undermines medical ethics, and contradicts deeply held halachic principles. A compassionate society does not solve suffering by ending life – it meets suffering with unwavering care. Pain medication should be administered to suffering patients, even on Shabbat (Hazon Ovadia, Shabbat, Vol. 3, p. 256). Halacha encourages alleviating pain, but strictly forbids taking actions that hasten death.

As with all complex end-of-life questions, one must seek guidance from a competent halachic authority. Organizations such as the Sephardic Division of Chayim Aruchim, launched specifically to address our community’s needs, are dedicated to offering sensitive, informed halachic support during these delicate moments.Rabbi Yehuda Finchas is a worldwide expert, lecturer and author on Medical Halacha. He heads the Torat Habayit Medical Halacha Institute. His latest book is “Brain Death in Halacha and the Tower of Babel Syndrome.” To contact Rabbi Finchas, email rabbi@torathabayit.com.

QUESTION: 

Dear Rabbi Ali,

I am a bit confused with some marriage concepts. We are taught that a wife is supposed to be a helpmate for her husband. To help him grow spiritually and maximize in his potential. However, there’s these often-repeated sayings such as, “You’re not his mashgiach” or, “ Stay on your own page.” This seems like I should be letting him do what he wants. So, which one is it!?

R’ Ali’s Response: 

This is an excellent question, and I’d like to start by explaining these concepts for those that are not familiar with them.

Most of us have heard of the pasuk where Hashem says to Adam that he will create a helpmate for him. Based on this, it is taught (or should be taught) to women that they are charged with a mission to be a helpmate for their husband, to help him grow spiritually. There is a Gemara that elaborates more but that’s beyond the scope of this article. 

Now, many women take this the wrong way. They assume responsibility for their husband’s spiritual growth. If he is not doing well spiritually, it is either their fault or their responsibility to ensure that he is doing his duties. This is a big mistake. No one is responsible for another’s choices nor can we make choices for another person. As a good wife, we are concerned about our husbands spiritual growth or lack of. This means we pray for him and think of tactful ways to get him to succeed.

Practically speaking, if a wife tells her husband that he’s slacking with minyan, and he says leave me alone, it is clear that this approach will not help him, hence she is not being a helpmate at the moment. 

To illustrate this point I often speak about the famous story from Parashat Korach. On Ben Pellet was part of the rebellion against Moshe Rabeinu. His wife knew this was dangerous and tried explaining to him that he wouldn’t benefit from this, to no avail. What did she do next? Did she pester him? Did she say, “I’m never talking to you again?” No. She got creative!

She got him intoxicated and waited by the entrance of her tent with uncovered hair. This scared away Korach and his people as they wouldn’t look at her with her hair uncovered. In the end, her husband was saved while many perished.

This story teaches what a helpmate is. Be creative, don’t pester him. If you get stuck, ask someone what you can do. But don’t fall into the trap of hurting him in an attempt to help.

The other concept of staying on your own page is a popular concept in marriage advice. Basically, the idea is to let your spouse be. For example, if your husband wears a shirt you don’t like, leave him alone . Now, this concept also gets confusing. It doesn’t mean not to say anything to him about his behaviors. It means, kindly and gently voice your opinion with the understanding that the ultimate decision is his. 

With regards to spiritual matters, we don’t “stay on our own page,” and leave him alone . As I explained, we are supposed to be concerned, but we can get creative and communicate in a gentle manner. For example, a wife sees her husband is not going to class anymore. Mention to him how nice it is when he learns. Words of encouragement work wonders. But aggression and frustration seems more about you than it is about his growth. This is also another point to ponder. Are we bothered about their growth or the way it makes us look? To summarize, a woman is to be a helpmate for her husband. Being a helpmate means praying for his success and being gentle and creative with ways to help him grow. Staying on your own page is similar. Help him without aggression, or even worse, force! I believe every wife should take inventory from time to time and think, am I fulfilling the awesome task that Hashem has charged me with, that of being a helpmate for my husband or maybe not?  Hashem should give us all the clarity to do the right thing and we should all have harmony peace in the home.

Jenna  Ashkenazie

Samson Armory is the first licensed firearms dealer to be established in New York in the past sixty years. Mr. Michael Bergida, a community member,is dedicated to helping Jews in the community get licensed to carry firearms, for the protection of themselves and their families.

His journey as an entrepreneur began when his business was featured on Shark Tank, the business reality tv series. There he and his business partner promoted Bumpeez, a ride-on bumper car for kids as young as 18 months. Mr. Bergida later moved on to My First Pistol, where he helped over one thousand community members obtain firearms andhe trained them how to handle them properly. He has gained approval from the ATF (Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives) and has acquired state and federal licenses. Next, he needs one more bureaucratic approval and he will then be able to officially open Samson Armory to the public.

Firearms for the Community

Mr. Bergida was one of the first to obtain a firearm once the Supreme Court relaxed restrictions on ownership of concealed handguns in New York. Now he is helping other Jews obtain their licenses, believing that sometimes, “the only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.” Many feel it is important to exercise our second amendment rights, and keep ourselves safe, especially after October 7^th and the sharp rise in anti-Semitism that followed.

Many in the Jewish community have not been supportive of the Armory, and of owning firearms in general Undeterred, Mr. Bergida continues to help others to obtain firearms legally, and to train them properly. He believes that the most dangerous weapons are the ones left in untrained hands.

Gun Ownership – Not So Simple

In order to purchase a gun in New York, state law requires that the potential purchaser must reside or have a business in New York State, be at least twenty one, and he or she may notbe convicted of felonies, domestic violence misdemeanors, or other serious offenses. Certain mental health conditions may disqualify one from owning a gun. Applicants  must also pass a background check, be of good moral character , and have four people willing to vouch for them.

Samson Armory is able to expedite the process for procuring a gun license, but all applicants are carefully vetted before they obtain a weapon.

Deciding to Purchase a Gun

Mr. Bergida does not try to convince anyone to purchase a gun. He stated that, “Just because you can have one [a gun] doesn’t mean you should. Owning a gun isn’t for everyone. With enough training, anyone can shoot, but I’m not looking to convince anyone. They have to understand their second amendment right.”

The company offers free seminars. Participants can ask questions about owning a firearm, and they can simply get more comfortable around guns. Often participants ask questions regarding children in the house. How do you keep them away from firearms? How do you explain to a young child how truly dangerous a gun could be in the wrong hands? Mr. Bergida answers, “Educate your kids. Accidents occur because children don’t know what it [a gun] is, if they understand, then they won’t use it.” The more educated a child is concerning the potential dangers of playing with a gun, the less likely they are to go near them.             With rising anti-Semitism, coupled with the desire to keep ourselves and our families safe, many are grappling with the decision of whether to obtain a firearm. Mr. Bergida is happy to answer all community members’ questions regarding firearms.

Most of what we were hoping to experience from the trip was canceled. There was no Kotel, no Tel Aviv, no hike up Masada… But we did spend four days together and five nights in the bomb shelter… There was basically nowhere to go and not much to do. And yet, somehow, it is still one of the best trips I have been on.

The trip was not perfect by any means. We missed so much. But, still I believe we gained so much more than we missed. This trip was unforgettable and I would never change a thing about it.

SCA’s Birthright Trip in the Line of Fire:

A Journey Through War and Resilience

Linda Dayan

On June 12^th  2025, Israel launched a targeted attack on Iran’s main nuclear sites. That same night, Iran retaliated with ballistic missiles of their own, leaving 30 dead, over 5,000 homeless, and causing a series of sleepless nights for Israelis around the country.  The constant barrage of rockets also shut down all air travel to Israel, leaving many thousands of Israelis stranded abroad. Anyone planning to fly out of Israel suddenly could not leave the country for the foreseeable future. Among the stranded outbound travelers were many Birthright groups, including my group, an all-girls trip run by SCA, the Sephardic Community Alliance.

After that Thursday night, our group spent the following four days restricted to the area extending no more than a five-minute walk from our hotel. We were staying at the Spirit of Herzl Hotel in downtown Jerusalem on Ben Yehuda Street. The main topic of conversation became how and when we would be able to get home. The answer turned out to be a cruise ship bound for Cyprus, which was arranged by Birthright in collaboration with the Israeli government. This arrangement facilitated Birthright groups to get out of the country and Israeli citizens waiting in Cyprus to get back home. From Cyprus, SCA organized our flights. Within 24 hours, we were on our way to JFK airport with a seven-hour stopover in Milan. We spent about 70 hours in transit, nearly three days. Whenever I relay the experience, I am often asked the same question: was it worth it?

Birthright’s Itinerary Cut in Half

Birthright was designed to show young diaspora Jews all that Israel has to offer. The itinerary is carefully planned to showcase both the hidden and the well-known and loved gems of Israel. Clearly, this trip was cut too short. Friday the 13^th was meant to be a day at the shuk (the outdoor market), and many dreamed of the Kabbalat Shabbat at the Kotel as promised in the itinerary. But those dreams never came to fruition.

Jacqueline Halabi, another girl on the trip says, “It hurt in my soul to be stripped of the opportunity to pray by the Kotel. Visiting Israel without experiencing that holiness was unfathomable to me, so much so that I was anxiety ridden as soon as the war broke out. Being a short drive away for days, yet confined to the hotel … I felt powerless.” Most of what we were hoping to experience from the trip was canceled. There was no Kotel, no Tel Aviv, no hike up Masada, and no night spent in Bedouin tents. But we did spend four days together and five nights in the “bomb shelter,” which was just the dining room on the hotel’s lowest level. Instead of traveling the country we were only allowed to stray five minutes walking distance from the hotel. There was basically nowhere to go and not much to do. And yet, somehow, it is still one of the best trips I have been on.

Worried Family Members Call

Throughout our stay at the Spirit of Herzl Hotel, I got many phone calls from concerned family members asking about the safety of my sister and me. “Are you okay?” “Do you feel safe?” “Are you hoping for the next flight out?” My answers were always yes, we are safe and okay, and if we have to stay in Israel an extra week since the skies are closed, so be it.

Most callers responded,  “You are only so calm because you don’t truly understand the situation.” But, how could we not? SCA was doing everything they could to keep us informed and in the loop. Our chaperones, Sonny and Lauren Setton, and our tour guide, Ido Reuven, made sure to share with us anything they heard to make us feel less lost. We were confined to the hotel and the immediate surrounding area, alerts from the phone ap “Tzofar-Red Alert” were constant, and we could not even visit the Kotel, which was only a 30-minute walk from the hotel, because there is no bunker there. Of course, we understood the danger, but we also had things that my family outside of Israel did not. The news is a constant barrage of the worst. They flood our feeds with death, destruction, and horror stories. While unfortunately those things do happen you cannot wallow in it.

Keeping our Cool

While the country was at war the streets around us were never empty and never quiet. The piano in Zion Square was constantly in use, the restaurants were not deserted. While the foot traffic was less than it usually would be, there were always people out. Being in Israel taught us that while it is important to recognize the tragedies that occur, and to sit with them, it is also important not to drown in them and to recognize that we must also hold close what joy we can.

We were we surrounded by Israeli culture and we also had ten soldiers join us on our trip for five days. We became fast friends. Within the first day we already had new shared jokes and shared experiences we would never forget. And Thursday night, when most of us experienced our first rush to the bomb shelter at 2:30am, our soldier friends helped keep it light. If anyone had a question about what was happening, there was an answer. And while we were made aware that since the attack was from Iran it would be more intense than missile attacks from Gaza (which has much less sophisticated weapons), we were told so in a way that kept panic at bay. And since the time in the shelter became every night occasion, we grew to expect it and adapted to the situation. Although it was impossible to guess exactly when the alarms would sound, they typically sounded at night, so many of us made a point to shower early, and wear pajamas that we would not be embarrassed to wear if we had to run to the shelter.

The sirens created a routine, and routine creates stability, no matter how unstable the situation was in reality. A key factor as to why we felt this stability was because of the soldiers’ presence. They were only scheduled to stay with us for five days, meaning that unfortunately, that Sunday they had to leave us to go back to their base.

Heading Home

Once the soldiers  left the air shifted. They had become a big part of the group and were crucial to the positive atmosphere created at the hotel. With their absence, where we were stared us in the face again, and the number of the requests from group members to move from the hotel grew.

That Sunday, morphing into Monday, we began to hear of groups leaving Jerusalem for Eilat.  One of the groups staying with us left for Eilat that Sunday night. We began to grow antsy. No one knew what was happening or when we would be allowed to further explore the country or the city. In those four days after our soldiers left the group grew extremely close. Girls who I have known my whole life but had never spoken to became my close friends. But long conversations and longer games of Jungle Speed could not keep away the feelings of anticipation and uncertainty.

Our chaperones tried their best to keep our spirits up. Ido led us on a walking tour of our surrounding area. Sonny and Lauren let us walk to the bakery farther up the street. Ido tried to find us sushi to take a break from the hotel’s meat buffet, but sadly the sushi restaurant was closed. These were seemingly little things, but they made a huge difference.

We were told that by 9pm that night (Sunday) we would be taking a cruise from Haifa to Cyprus, and from there we would make our way home.

Was It Worth It?

So, back to the question everyone loves to ask: was it worth it? The short answer is yes. I asked my friend Esther Shaab the same question, and she said the following: “Growing up I would always hear stories from my father about how amazing Israel is and how every Jew needs to go there at least once in their life. I took this advice and signed up for Birthright not knowing how my trip would inevitably turn out. As it was my first time in Israel, I was excited to do anything and everything Mayanot [Mayanot is one of the organizations that organizes and runs Birthright trips, and is affiliated with the Mayanot Institute of Jewish Studies] and SCA had planned for us.

The first few days of the trip were amazing and then the war began. At first this was not something I was happy about. How could I be? More than half my trip was now obsolete. Things like the Kotel, Tel Aviv, climbing Masada, experiencing the shuk, were all things I would not be able to do. But even though I missed out on most of my trip, I wouldn’t change a thing.

“The people I met including all of the girls and the Israeli soldiers that joined us for a couple days are some of the most amazing people that I now consider some of my best friends. The relationships I have gained outweighs any negatives I experienced on the trip. People have asked me since I got back,‘Did it ruin Israel for you?’‘You’re never going back, right?’They couldn’t be more wrong. This experience actually made me want to go back more than ever. This trip will always hold a special place in my heart and I will never forget it.” The trip was not perfect by any means. We missed so much. But, still I believe we gained so much more than we missed. This trip was unforgettable and I would never change a thing about it.

Message from the Simha Health Organization

As the lazy days of summer wind down, a familiar mix of excitement and anticipation, perhaps with a touch of dread, starts to bubble up. Back-to-school season is almost here! Getting our kids ready for academic and social success involves more than just new backpacks; it requires preparation, communication, and a strong partnership between home and school.

Isaac Setton of the SIMHA Organization hosted a valuable discussion with esteemed school psychologists Mrs. Rose Lee Pifko of Magen David Yeshivah, Dr. Nicole Yossef formerly of Yeshivah of Flatbush and now of Yeshivah Prep Elementary School, and Dr. Simone Hidary of Barkai Yeshivah, who shared their expert insights on navigating this critical transition.

Embrace Challenges and Learn from Mistakes

A powerful takeaway was the importance of shifting from being “fixers and protectors” to “empowerers.” As Mrs. Rose Lee Pifko noted, allowing children to tackle challenges and even make mistakes is crucial for development.

“The growth zone, just outside their comfort area, is where real learning happens,” Mrs. Pifko explained. When children tolerate discomfort and push through challenges, they build skills like grit and resilience. This means gently nudging them to try new things, whether it’s a new club or a tricky social situation.

The experts highlighted the value of teaching children how to fail. By reframing failure as “just one possible outcome,” parents can alleviate the pressure. Share your own experiences with mistakes and challenges, show empathy, and use these moments as opportunities to teach problem-solving. This approach cultivates a crucial life skill: learning from setbacks.

Re-establishing Routine: The Foundation for Success

After summer’s relaxed schedule, getting back into routine can feel daunting. Dr. Nicole Yossef provided practical, actionable steps to ease this transition, emphasizing that consistency is key for children of all ages. The goal isn’t perfection, but consistent effort. The more regulated parents are, the more children will mirror that behavior.

The Power of Partnership: Home and School as a Unified Front

“When parents and schools work as a unified team, children receive consistent messaging,” Dr. Simone Hidary explained. This reinforces that they are supported and believed in. Parents offer invaluable insights into their child’s personality, while school staff provide expertise in child development and education. This synergy creates an “unbelievable partnership.”

Tips for a strong parent-school partnership include communicating with teachers and staff about any concerns, and approaching the school with the intention to collaborate with them respectfully.

Isaac Setton emphasized that the goal is “school plus parents,” not “school versus parents.” When children see that parents and school are on the same page, they receive consistent messages, understand expectations, and recognize that everyone is on their side.

Finally, the experts discussed balancing support with parental boundaries. Dr. Hidary highlighted that effective parenting involves both love and limits. Providing love and support while setting clear boundaries is essential for a child’s self-regulation and success. Children understand that rules are for their best interest, even if they don’t like them. As September approaches, let’s embrace these insights to empower our children and ourselves for a successful, fulfilling, and well-supported school year. By fostering open communication, building strong routines, and strengthening the vital partnership between home and school, we can set our children on a path to thrive.

Dr. Yossef’s Top Tips for a Smooth Gear Shift

Adjust Sleep Schedules: Gradually shift bedtimes and wake-up times earlier (20-30 minutes each day) to reset internal clocks.

Foster Independence: Involve children in choosing outfits the night before and packing healthy snacks. This gives them control and streamlines mornings.

Promote Healthy Eating: A balanced diet impacts mood and focus. Involve children in snack preparation for easier healthy choices.

Encourage Physical Activity: Aim for at least 20-60 minutes daily. Walking to school, playing outdoors, or joining a team improves focus and reduces stress.

Manage Screen Time: Set clear boundaries for screen use, explaining these rules are for their well-being. Encourage alternatives like reading.