60 F
New York
Wednesday, May 28, 2025
spot_img
Home Blog Page 23

Love, Marriage, and Hakafot

Yanki Tauber 

Men don’t usually sit over coffee talking about their marriages. That’s why a particular conversation I once had with two other men really sticks out in my mind. 

The three of us were sitting and discussing the joys of wedded life. “I love my wife,” Benny said. “That’s why I do everything she asks me to do. She says, ‘Benny, please take out the garbage,’ and right away, I take out the garbage.” We all agreed that Benny loves his wife.  

Not to be outdone, I said, “I also do everything my wife asks me to do. In fact, she doesn’t even have to spell out what she wants. It’s enough that she says, ‘Whew! That garbage bag is sure smelling up the kitchen!’ for me to understand that she wants me to take out the garbage. Which I do, of course.” We all agreed that I love my wife even more than Benny loves his.  

But in the end, it turned out that Steven’s marriage was the most loving of all. Steven’s wife doesn’t have to ask him to do things for her. She doesn’t even have to drop hints. “I wake up in the morning,” Steven explained, “and I just know that she wants me to take out the garbage. Or buy her a gift like a piece of jewelry. She doesn’t have to crinkle her nose or mention the ring her cousin Sarah got for her birthday. I just know what she wants me to do for her, and I do it.” 

 

Showing Love for Gd – “Steven Style” 

The month of Tishre is replete with mitzvot, full of opportunities for carrying out Gd’s will. For more than three weeks, our days are filled with praying, repenting, fasting, feasting, dancing, building a sukkah, acquiring a set of a lulav and etrog, or a bundle of hoshaanot, and dozens of other mitzvot, customs, and observances.   

The observances of Tishre fall under three general categories. There are Biblical precepts that are explicitly commanded in the Torah, such as sounding the shofar on Rosh Hashanah, fasting on Yom Kippur, and eating in the sukkah on Sukkot. There are also a number of rabbinical mitzvot – observances instituted by the prophets and the sages by the authority vested in them by the Torah. For example, the five prayer services held on Yom Kippur and the taking of the arba’ah minim (four species) on all but the first day of Sukkot are rabbinical institutions.  

Finally, the month of Tishre has many minhagim, customs that are not formally required by the Torah or by the sages. These include eating an apple dipped in honey on the first night of Rosh Hashanah and conducting the kaparot ritual in the wee hours of the morning on the day before Yom Kippur. The minhagim are not mandated by Biblical or rabbinical law, but by force of custom. These are practices that we Jews have initiated ourselves as ways to enhance our service of our Creator. 

Most amazingly, the climax of the month of Tishre – the point at which our celebration of our bond with Gd reaches the greatest heights of joy – is during the hakafot on Simhat Torah, when we take the Torah scrolls in our arms and dance with them around the reading table in the synagogue – a practice that is neither a Biblical nor a rabbinical precept, but is merely a custom.  

It is specifically through our observance of the minhagim that we express the depth of our love for Gd. The Biblical commandments might be compared to the explicitly expressed desires between two people bound in marriage. The rabbinical mitzvot, which Gd did not directly command but nevertheless constitute expressions of the Divine will, resemble the implied requests between spouses. But the minhagim represent those areas in which we intuitively sense how we might bring Gd pleasure, and in these lie our greatest joy. 

Yanki Tauber is an editor and an accomplished author.  

The Case – A Ponzi Scheme

Rich, interested in expanding his wealth, regularly invested in small wholesale corporations that needed capital. His latest investment included buying fifty percent of Yoram’s textile company for 1.9 million dollars. Before purchasing, he reviewed all the accounting history of the company, and thereafter signed and transferred half the sum as his initial payment. Additionally, as part of the purchase agreement, Rich signed as a personal guarantor for a loan previously extended to the company in the amount of $375,000.  Less than a month later, Rich discovered that the company he purchased from Yoram was a complete scam. Aside from the company’s accounting, which proved to be fraudulent, the company owed millions of dollars to private investors. Since the company did not generate a profit over the many years, Yoram habitually paid the investors their monthly dividends with the money of each new investor. When the Ponzi scheme became too overwhelming to control, Yoram fiendishly sold the company to Rich, and he presumably ran off to Argentina after being paid. Rich is presently attempting to press criminal charges against Yoram in secular court and is preoccupied in finding his whereabouts. The case brought before our Bet Din was the claim of Jack, the lender of the $375,000, versus Rich, who personally guaranteed the sum.  Rich responded to Jack’s claim that since, in retrospect, his purchase of the company was null and void, he has no obligation to the creditors. Furthermore, Rich defended that the $375,000 debt was existent prior to his involvement in the company. He argued that just as he was swindled and suffered a financial loss, the creditors as well were to sustain their share in the damage. Jack presented to the Bet Din the guarantor document with Rich’s signature fixed to the bottom.  

Is Rich obligated to pay Jack his $375,000 loan? How should the Bet Din rule and why? 

 

Torah Law 

According to the ruling of the Shulhan Aruch, a guarantor is responsible to reimburse a lender even in instances in which he secretly warned the lender not to accept him as a guarantor.  Since the lender ultimately lent money with the guarantor as his security, full liability is incurred if the borrower defaults on the loan. In a classic case in which a lender returned collateral to a non-Jew in exchange for a Jewish guarantor, the Shulhan Aruch imposed liability even though the guarantor secretly informed the lender that he was not sincere about his commitment for liability. The rationale behind this ruling is that since the guarantor openly agreed to his role in front of the borrower and lender; in doing so he authorized the lender to return the collateral.  Since ultimately the collateral was returned on account of the guarantor, he is liable for the damage caused in case of default. 

It stands to reason from the above ruling that a guarantor is responsible even if at the time of the loan the borrower never intended to repay it. Although the guarantor would clearly not have offered his security in case of a fraudulent borrower, nevertheless, since ultimately the loan was extended with reliance on the guarantor, he is liable for payment. Hence, a guarantor is responsible for a loan extended to a fraudulent corporation operating a Ponzi scheme.  Since the lender extended the funds to the corporation relying on the guarantor in case of default, he is entitled to collect the loan from the guarantor. 

By rule of the Shulhan Aruch, the commitment of a guarantor is binding only if it transpires prior to or simultaneously with the giving of the loan. Since at the behest of the guarantor the loan was extended, he is liable even if he only verbally committed to serve as a guarantor. The same ruling applies in instances in which a lender returns collateral to a borrower in exchange for a guarantor.  Since it is obvious to the parties involved that the loan was forwarded by the lender in consideration of a guarantee in place, the mere verbal commitment of the guarantor is binding. Hence, the guarantor is liable for the damage sustained by the lender in the event the borrower defaults on the loan.  

If, however, the loan was previously extended to a borrower, and only thereafter does a guarantor attempt to assume responsibility, a verbal commitment is clearly insufficient. Since the guarantor did not enable the loan, he is not considered the cause of damage when the borrower defaults. Hence, after a loan is already extended to a borrower, only a specific contract including various halachic provisions, has the power to establish a guarantor’s liability. 

By Torah law, a contract signed under false pretenses is rendered null and void. While numerous examples of this ruling are listed in the Babylonian Talmud, a staff of rabbinical judges will generally need to apply their wisdom to determine whether a contract is indeed invalid.   Hence, in instances in which a loan was previously extended to a borrower and a contract was signed by a guarantor to establish his liability, the contract may be susceptible to disqualification. Since the guarantor was not a consideration of the lender when he extended the loan, the guarantor may be absolved. Thus, in instances in which a loan was previously extended to a corporation operating a Ponzi scheme, a guarantor unaware of the fraudulent activity is absolved of his contractual obligation. 

Endnotes:  Baba Batra 173b, 176b, Shulhan Aruch Hoshen Mishpat131:6, 129:2, 129:4, Tosafot Kiddushin 49b, Baba Batra 146a, Pithei Teshuva Hoshen Mishpat 241:3.  

 

VERDICT: Null And Void 

Our Bet Din absolved Rich, the guarantor, from the $375,000 liability. As mentioned in Torah law, although a guarantor who authorizes a loan is liable even if a borrower is fraudulent, nevertheless, Rich never endorsed Jack’s loan to the corporation. Jack had extended the loan well over a year prior to Rich’s purchase of the company. Since Rich was not a consideration in Jack’s decision to extend the loan, he is not responsible for the damages. Furthermore, upon investigation by our Bet Din, it was evident that Jack’s loan to the corporation was, from the onset, not retrievable. Prior to Rich’s involvement, the company was borrowing large sums of money on the black market at a 25 percent monthly interest rate. The cash borrowed was used to prolong the Ponzi scheme by paying monthly returns to investors. Jack’s loan was long gone, as at the time of the loan the company did not have the funds to pay back the principal to any of its investors. Although Rich had signed a document establishing him as a personal guarantor for the loan, nevertheless, since it is beyond the shadow of a doubt that the document was signed under false pretenses, it is rendered null and void. Rich’s signature did not affect Jack‘s monetary position, and since it was signed by deception it is invalid. Jack and Rich were instructed by our Bet Din to pursue Yoram in civil court and to press criminal charges against him. 

 

YOU BE THE JUDGE 

To Catch a Thief  

Vicky was pushing her child in a stroller while window shopping in Boro Park. She went into a lady’s apparel store, and upon entering she was asked to deposit the stroller and her packages at the far end of the store, to allow free passage for other shoppers. At first Vicky resisted, as her stroller and packages were not obstructing the large passageway, but eventually she complied with store policy and took her child out of the stroller. After selecting several garments, she proceeded to the fitting room to try on her selections. Upon exiting the fitting room, she glimpsed at the far end of the store to check on her stroller and packages, and noticed they were missing. Alarmed, she ran outside the store to catch the thief, but she was unsuccessful. She then attempted to collect her loss from the store owner, claiming that he had assumed responsibility for her belongings, since she deposited it in the corner of his store at his behest. The store owner sympathized with Vicky’s predicament but was unwilling to bear responsibility for the loss. The two presented their dispute to Bet Din to rule on the matter.  

How should the Bet Din rule – in favor of Vicky or the store owner? 

From the Files of the Mitzvah Man Hesed Stories – Spot On!

Pnina Souid 

In addition to doing hesed locally, the Mitzvah Man and his extraordinary organization also come to the rescue of other hesed organizations around the globe.  

A recent letter received by The Mitzvah Man Organization came from Mrs. Channie Goldstein, the Director of Operations of Detroit Chesed, an umbrella organization that raises money for many hesed activities in the Detroit area including, hachnasat kallah and a respite program for special children.  

 

Shoes for the Needy  

Detroit Chesed has a history with the Mitzvah Man and his volunteers. It began with shoes. Mrs. Goldstein had received a donation of coats. Detroit winters are brutal, and warm winter coats are a necessity. Once, when Mrs. Goldstein was distributing coats, she noticed a young boy with wearing open shoes – certainly not appropriate for the Midwest winter!  

Mrs. Goldstein wanted him to have good winter shoes, and realized that others must need, as well. She had a friend who dedicated specific funds to provide shoes for those in need. The funds had been exhausted, but the friend told Mrs. Goldstein, “Reach out to the Mitzvah Man!” 

Mrs. Goldstein called the Mitzvah Man hotline.  

Word went out to the Mitzvah Man volunteers and one man answered. “I have 600 pairs of shoes from a shipment that just came out of customs but I cannot sell them.” 

The shoes went to Detroit, and a relationship between Channie Goldstein, representing Detroit Chesed and the Mitzvah Man Organization was forged. 4,000 thousand pairs of shoes were donated along with 200 coats.

 

Summer Camp Saved from Closure 

The following letter is in response to a fundraising request. Mrs. Goldstein’s fundraising abilities in Detroit are limited due to the size of the city and the amount of donors. 

One of the organizations that the Detroit Chesed funds is called ‘The Spot.’ It is a respite organization for children with special needs. Their an after-school program allows the families of these children time to focus on the others in the family while their special child is being well taken care of for a few hours. 

The Spot also has a respite summer camp. This camp for special needs children is something that they look forward to all year. 

This year, the camp was in danger of closing. The Mitzvah Man Organization prevented the closing of the camp and sponsored twelve children with various physical and mental challenges.

 

Dear Mitzvah Man and Volunteers, 

In a world bustling with endless activities, it’s rare and precious to witness the selfless acts of volunteers who give their time and resources to make a difference. This week has been nothing short of extraordinary, thanks to the unwavering dedication of Mitzvah Man’s incredible volunteers! 

Reaching out to Mitzvah Man is always a humbling experience. Take, for instance, the conversation with the Mitzvah Man, who despite his busy schedule, took the time for a brief phone call. 

I told him about our current struggle with our camp for children with special needs and due to some challenges, we were going to have to shut down our camp. He told me that he was going to the gym to work out and after that he would try to help. Let me tell you, it was some kind of workout! 

Within a few hours, I was able to tell my staff that we could remain open and not disappoint Hashem’s special children or their hardworking parents. These are children with autism, Down syndrome, and other challenging diagnoses. 

There is no other Jewish option in our city for summer care. The children look forward to it so much; it’s the year’s highlight! The families rely on this respite to get through the summer. 

The experience of making calls from the list the Mitzvah Man gave me and collecting pledges is so humbling and inspiring. The donors are so eager to thank me for the opportunity to help and appreciate that I have called on them to partake in the mitzvah. I know that it is the gold standard of giving. Their actions are a true kiddush Hashem, sanctifying Gd’s name, through their deeds and setting an inspiring example for others. 

Please accept our deepest gratitude for your guidance, support, and generosity.

Food Fight: Tackling Unhealthy School Meals

Frieda Schweky 

I’d like to tackle the topic of unhealthy foods at schools and camps. What do parents think?  First, some personal background. I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was fairly young. As a 90’s kid I was either served a warm Eggo waffle with imitation maple syrup for breakfast or I helped myself to a bowl of sugary cereal (the kind with a prize at the bottom of the box!) with some skim milk.  I grabbed a fruit roll up or Dunkaroos for a snack and out the door I went! No one questioned if my diet affected the ADHD.  

Now, I’m trying to avoid toxic chemicals in my home. A big part of this has to do with food. I feel we must be proactive in what we are feeding ourselves and our youth. Recently, I saw a post on Instagram… We moms are only feeding our kids at home. But that’s where our control ends. What about what our kids eat at school or at camp?  I had lots of questions and so I asked my followers on Instagram and my trusty moms WhatsApp chat groups about the topic. Here’s what they had to say: 

 

Margot Cohen 

In my opinion, schools shouldn’t be giving out candy or snacks to persuade the kids to do reading or writing, or anything else for that matter. What happened to the humble sticker chart and getting a prize like an eraser or something? Why does it always have to be a candy? It’s never just one candy. It adds up, and it’s just too much candy. 

The teacher gives them the candy and then complains: why are they not sitting, why aren’t they listening and behaving?  

In camp, they don’t give out candy – they sell it at the canteen. I don’t think parents should have to shell out extra money for the kids to buy themselves more junk. If it’s a drink and chips or a cookie, I understand, no problem. But what’s the point of giving kids  the option to buy candy and bubble gum and junk food with no parental guidance or restrictions? 

I don’t mind if parents buy their kids candy and send it along to camp.  But why should kids have to buy it from the canteen? There should not be canteen in camp, especially the camps that charge an arm and a leg! 

 

Regina Cohen 

Summer is so fun with all the ices, birthday parties, cupcakes, candy, and junk. But you’re doing a disservice to the children to also give them junk in camp. They get enough on the weekends. They don’t need it all day in camp, too. I do my best at home for my son. I’m always making sure he’s fueled properly before school or before camp, making sure he has a gorgeous dinner too, with lots of fruits and veggies. But he’s in camp and school for eight hours. That’s the majority of the day. It’s frustrating to know my kid is being fed cookies and snacks all day. It’s so disheartening that I can’t control it, but I can’t. We pay so much in tuition, it’s crazy to me that they can’t do better by our kids. 

Would it be so much harder to give apple slices and pretzels instead of Oreos and animal crackers? Why, when there are so many healthy alternatives, should our kids and our toddlers be fed ices with red and blue dyes every day in camp? Let them try Hashem’s amazing fruit. It grows from the ground. Make a lesson out of it! 

It’s just sad that in camp all my son eats is noodles. He comes home with bags under his eyes, wiped out, in the worst mood, screaming. We shouldn’t normalize these kinds of tantrums. We shouldn’t because if our kids were fueled and hydrated properly I promise they wouldn’t be suffering like this. 

 

Cathy Beyda 

This topic is so frustrating for me! My son is fed gross food at camp and it really affects him. He goes to Chabad of the Shore during the year and they provide good nutritious food.  

Lunches are usually brown rice, something whole grain-based, and a protein. My son never has tantrums after school. 

I sent him to a local Jersey camp for three year olds. They give chips, ice cream, and candy. He’s having so many temper tantrums, that he never had before. I think it’s certainly due to all the junk. 

 

Etti Hazan 

This year, I’m sending my kids to a new yeshiva that’s opening up in Deal. I told the rabbi that having a no-sugar policy is really something all the parents appreciated at our last school. I think if it’s accepted from the start, it makes it a lot easier to implement. In my last school, if a child brought in a sugary snack, they were not allowed to take it out, and it would be sent home. The PTA should get involved. In our previous school one mom would be the class mom and we would all Venmo her one time and she was in charge of supplying healthy snacks for the class for the year, so we never had to send snacks for our kids and didn’t have to worry.  

Parents pay so much for lunch. It shouldn’t be such low quality. Pancakes, yogurt, and noodles shouldn’t be repeated every week. This is creating picky eaters! Everything is lacking real flavor and half the time no protein is offered. Could you believe  meat wasn’t offered at my son’s camp?! It was carbs every day, fruit and veggies only on the side, not incorporated in the meal! We can do better. We need to do better. 

 

Florence Marcus 

I work at Beit Yaakov of the Jersey Shore. For our Shabbat party we discourage parents from sending in a candy or a treat. Instead we buy our own healthier snack options and we ask that each Shabbat Imma or Abba bring in $5 in when it’s their turn. We set up a little store and they get to shop for their class that week. It was very cute and effective!  

For birthday parties, we do not have party bags. Instead we ask parents to send in a book with their kid’s name in it for the class library. They all get excited about it and get to enjoy it for the rest of the year. And it helps grow the library. We can’t completely monitor what the parents send in but we encourage them to follow our healthy guidelines. 

My boss Malka Ohayon implemented these policies. She is a great advocate for healthy eating for the children. She eliminated the ketchup with corn syrup and the pickles with food coloring from our school meals! This ensures a good nutritious meal without the nonsense.  Honestly, why should there be food coloring in the vegetables?! 

 

Natalie Nudleman 

We should normalize what real food looks like! Teach kids what that looks like from a young age. Really, it starts in the home. But would be great if schools incorporated nutrition as part of a child’s education. If they eat well, they will perform better in school, no? I think through hands-on learning and putting fruits and vegetables into the kids’ hands will get them more comfortable with trying healthy options. Some ideas I have are regular trips to a community garden to see how real food grows, and a little cooking class incorporating real food instead of cereal and candy. It would also be great if parents were encouraged to be on board and get involved! 

 

Dr. Rachel Harari, Co-Head of SAM Elementary School 

We had a group of parents who felt so strongly about this subject that they approached us to make a change. They had a good point. There are a variety of different reasons treats are brought into the school on a weekly basis, such as for birthday parties, holiday celebrations, and so on. We decided to hear them out and start making changes to do better by our students.  

The first thing we did was form a committee, 10 moms volunteered (and a few more are tentative). That’s an amazing amount for our school, it’s about 25 percent of our parent body! We then evaluated what we were doing right and what we could improve. We looked at the school lunch menu and sent a survey to teachers and asked what the kids are actually eating. Then we made a wish list of the foods that would be ideal to serve. We then consulted a nutritionist who is passionate about fueling kids to help a make well-rounded nutritious menu that was also kid friendly. Finally, we forwarded it to our caterer and officially changed our food order for the coming year! 

In addition to that menu, each day we provided whole fruits like apples and bananas, as well as whole grain bread and noodles. 

Next up, we tackled snack time. We surveyed all the teachers. We asked them what snacks they have been providing and what their students bring in for snack time. In addition to actually banning harmful food dyes all together from our school, we are trying to move away from seed oils. We’re helping parents by giving them resources that tell them healthy alternatives to the most popular snacks, and even where they can get them! We also changed the school-provided snack option to cut fruit. One teacher loves to do “reading lollipop Friday.” We swapped out sugary lollipops for a healthier version with organic fruit juice and no food dyes.  

Soon we are planning a meeting to discuss new ways that we can make celebrations such as birthdays, etc. Not only will this make for less junk being given out. It will also be especially good for the children who have food sensitivities and food allergies. They generally feel isolated when they have to have an alternative snack. Soon they will not have to feel disappointed or left out.  

So far, the feedback has been great. The parents feel heard and supported. They’re really invested! They ran with it and they’re doing an incredible job.  

I hope and pray some good comes out of shedding light on this topic. We as a community are hard-working individuals who pay incredible amounts in tuition, which makes it particularly frustrating when the schools and camps do not listen to our needs. The switch to healthier eating for children is a need. Especially if we want to raise the next generation to be healthy functioning adults! 

Happy first month of school everyone! 

Frieda Schweky 

Frieda is an event and portrait photographer. Check Frieda out on Instagram @ friedaschwekyphoto. For photography inquiries or article topic suggestions email her at friedaschweky@gmail.com. 

FRUITY PIZZA PIE

The Jewish World of Wonders presents…

Creative Cooking with

Chef Shiri

Kids – See if you have what it takes to become a Junior Chef!

Adult Supervision Required

Utensils Needed:
Mixing bowls
Measuring cups and spoons
Large spoon
10-inch round pizza pan
Oven mitts
Knife
Pizza cutter

Ingredients:
½ cup margarine (1 stick), at room temperature
¾ cup sugar, divided
1 egg
1¼ cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon cream of tartar
½ teaspoon baking soda
¼ teaspoon salt
3 tablespoons each of fresh strawberries, blueberries, and grapes
1 (8-ounce) package of dairy-free cream cheese, at room temperature
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 kiwis
1 mango

Let’s Get Started!

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.
2. In a large bowl, mix the margarine, and ½ cup sugar together, stirring with a spoon until smooth. Mix in egg.
3. In a separate bowl, combine the flour, cream of tartar, baking soda, and salt. Add dry ingredients to margarine and egg mixture, and mix until well combined.
4. Press the dough into the ungreased pizza pan.
5. Bake for 8 to 10 minutes, until crust is lightly browned. Let cool.
6. While the crust is baking, use the knife to peel and slice the mango and kiwis. Cut each slice in half. Cut the strawberries and grapes in half as well.
7. In a large bowl, use a spoon to mix together the non-dairy cream cheese and the remaining ¼ cup sugar. Mix in vanilla extract. Spread the non-dairy cream cheese mixture onto cooled crust.
8. Arrange fruit in circles on the non-dairy cream cheese mixture. Chill in the refrigerator for 1 hour.
9. Slice with pizza cutter. Serve.

Makes 10 servings!

 

Most Favorite Fruit

More mangoes are consumed annually than any other fruit in the world!

 

Some ingredients are prone to infestation. Local Rabbanim should be consulted for specific guidelines on how to avoid transgressions related to insects.

 

That’s Berry Nice

Did you know that grapes are actually a type of berry! Grapes have a leathery covering and a fleshy inside, similar to blueberries.

 

Chef Shiri Says…

Before you cut with a knife, ask your parent or an adult if it is okay. If you have permission, always remember to use a cutting board when you cut or slice foods.

Dear Jido – September 2024

Dear Jido, 

I’m  a small store owner. My two uncles love to come and help me out at the store. When I first opened, about ten years ago, they had both just retired, neither had grandchildren, and both were full of great ideas and energy. 

Fast forward, they both have several grandchildren, are a decade older, have a lot less energy, and no longer offer any constructive ideas. At this point, it is more of a hesed on my part to have them in the store. And even though they are no longer beneficial to have around, and I do not rely on them for anything, I do pay them a very modest salary.  

However, they have now started using my store as an escape. They arrive in the middle of the day, waltz in and out as they please, chat with my employees, and then proceed to chat with each other. 

I wouldn’t mind so much if they needed to use my space as a safe haven – but they get in the way of the customers’ shopping experience.  

How can I get that message across with the utmost of kindness? 

Signed, 

Overstaffed 

 

Dear Overstaffed, 

Here’s something to think about. Maybe when they first came to you, young(er) and full of energy, they felt that they were really contributing to your growth and success. Over time, as you indicate, you adopted some of their ideas and obviously gave those responsibilities to others. They might feel right now that they have no role to play, but since they like the atmosphere and know all of the customers, they just come by to shmooze. 

Idea – why not GIVE them something to do? Certainly not any menial tasks.  Maybe give your store manager a two-week paid vacation and ask them to fill in for him.Let them feel productive.  And if they’re good at it, let them continue in whatever role  makes sense. If they don’t step up to the plate, then you can have a heart-to-heart talk with them and say, “Dearest Uncles, I don’t mind if you want to come by one or two days a week just to hang out but I really can’t afford to keep paying you like this. What do you think?” 

What do you think? 

Jido

Reach for the Stars: Shooting for New Heights

Victor Cohen 

“Sonny” was two years old when his parents noticed that something wasn’t right. He was facing some difficult challenges, and wasn’t doing the things his peers were doing. He wasn’t speaking, and he lacked fine motor skills. His parents were determined to get him back on track, and eagerly looked forward to him starting school. But the preschool informed them that something was wrong, and that their program was not the appropriate setting for him. Sonny’s parents were shattered, and didn’t want to believe it. 

Then they heard about Reach for the Stars – a unique school for children requiring extra help with their development and education. 

“You know when your child isn’t thriving,” says Reach for the Stars’ founder, Barbara Matalon.“Yes, it is terrifying, but it can be turned around with the proper care.” 

Sonny entered Reach for the Stars and saw extraordinary progress in speech, social skills, and education. There was high transparency and a real sense of community in the progress Sonny began to make. “They held our hand and walked us through every step,” his parents recalled. 

The program was all-inclusive, going all-in to ensure that Sonny would grow up with the tools he needed to succeed. His parents explained that they received help with things like potty training and sleep training, and that staff would even come over on weekends to provide extra help. 

The school put the parents in communication with the teachers, who sent status reports every day, as well as videos of Sonny beginning to improve. And they began to see it with their own eyes, as one day, to their sheer delight, Sonny uttered a word. Soon, one word became two, two words became three, and Sonny continued to improve under the tutelage of Reach for the Stars. 

As Sonny continued to progress, Sonny’s parents tell, the Reach for the Stars team was “optimistic where they needed to be and real where they needed to be. They were very clear about everything that was going on.” Sonny’s parents believe that this approach helped immensely in their son’s journey, as it allowed them to maintain balanced, reasonable expectations for what the team could do. 

 

A Graduation Speech Like No Other 

Then, Reach for the Stars gave the green light for what they called a “trial run” at a mainstream school for several weeks, with Sonny’s teacher observing his progress, seeing how he would do on his own. With the help of Hashem, Sonny passed with flying colors! 

It was clear that Sonny was ready to continue his educational journey without the help of Reach for the Stars. As they did for all their graduates, Reach for the Stars set up a graduation ceremony for Sonny. They made him a small cap and gown, his teachers gave him gifts, and his parents could not have been prouder. Then Sonny himself had the highlight of the day when he gave a full speech! To see a child who started out non-verbal, now graduating with a speech, was truly amazing. Sonny officially moved into a mainstream school, where he continues to thrive until today. 

Reach for the Stars nurtures and educates our community’s children until they no longer need the school’s help. With their proven track record of success, their scientific model for advancement, and, of course, Hashem’s help, Reach for the Stars acts as a course-corrector for kids who may be having difficulties – educational, social, or with communication. Reach for the Stars aids these children and ensures they are properly prepared to continue on their journey through school and into adulthood. 

To learn more about what Reach for the Stars does, I had the privilege of interviewing its founder and several parents. We discussed the history of the organization, how its model for success works, and some of the specific ways Reach for the Stars brings out the best in its students. 

 

“He Just Doesn’t Fit In” 

The story of this remarkable institution begins nearly 23 years ago, when Barbara Matalon was working with Bikur Holim, a widely acclaimed organization which serves the community in many different capacities. During her time at Bikur Holim, Barbara became aware of a need which she believed was not being addressed: children requiring special help in early education. 

She recalls how parents would come with children who, for one reason or another, would not be accepted in the typical playgroup. Many of these children were non-verbal. One parent said, “I wanted to hear him say a word, even just ‘no,’ or at least look or glance to let me know that he knows I’m Mommy.” 

Unfortunately, these children faced developmental obstacles which they could not surmount. There was no appropriate educational framework for them, and there was no support system for their parents. 

“Young parents came in heartbroken,” Barbara explained. “They’d say, ‘He just doesn’t fit in. I tried him in early childhood.’ We know this can be turned around. We know this can be changed.” 

Our community rightly takes pride in the way it strives to take care of everything, and to support fellow members dealing with all kinds of hardships. At that time, though, it seemed that parents of struggling young children had nowhere to go. They were saying things like, “I cry with him, since I don’t know if he is crying because he’s hungry, in pain, or just wants something and doesn’t know how to tell me. I just hold him and cry.” 

Parents needed a solution, an institution that could help their children turn into the stars that they knew they could become. No parents want to see their children “warehoused,” with their developmental and educational issues swept under the rug.  

Together with a team of parents, and a friend named Nancy Levy, Barbara set out to research schools around the east coast that had shown signs of success in reversing challenging conditions which would generally bar students from acceptance in mainstream schools. Upon completing their research, the group drafted a plan and opened a Sunday respite program for struggling young children in the community. From there, they proceeded to lay the groundwork for a full-fledged schooling program, which, in 2005, became Reach for the Stars. This program was designed to ensure that the children would make real, enduring progress, turning whatever challenges they may have had into areas of strength and hope. Ever since its founding, Reach for the Stars has been a beacon of light for our community, and a source of inspiration, through the profound impact that it has had on so many of our precious children’s lives. 

 

A Proven Model of Success 

The institution’s model is built around three key elements in the process of helping the child to succeed: 

  1. Reach for the Stars has a 1:1 student-to-teacher ratio, and all teachers are professionally trained. The institution does not hire paras or aides, and brings in only top-level professionals to work with its students. 
  2. The school is in session 12 months a year, recognizing that these youngsters require consistent care and attention, no less in the summer than during the rest of the year. 
  3. Reach for the Stars follows a scientifically-based approach, while adapting the formula individually to each student, as every child is unique with unique challenges and unique needs. The formula must also be repeatable, in a way that allows the student to effectively develop the skills he or she needs to develop. 

“Mikey” is a current student at Reach for the Stars, and a particularly shining example of how far its students can go. He was non-verbal, and had trouble understanding concepts and communicating with those around him. His parents brought him to a therapist, but unfortunately, he did not progress. Then, they decided to send him to Reach for the Stars, and Mikey began to see exponential progress.  

“I couldn’t get over how he had a teacher for each area!” Mikey’s mother enthused, marveling at the fact that each subject is handled by a different staff member. These professionals give the children under their care daily speech therapy, occupational therapy, behavioral therapy, ABA therapy, academic help, and social skills training. With this approach, Reach for the Stars ensures that no stone goes unturned.  

“We only use the best professionals in each field,” said Barbara. 

Mikey’s case exemplifies the lengths that Reach for the Stars is willing to go to ensure each student’s wellbeing and achievement.  

“He wouldn’t eat anything that wasn’t crunchy,” Mikey’s mother says, “so he was put on their feeding therapy program.” The feeding therapist taught Mikey to be able to eat other foods. 

The school evaluates each child to determine all his or her various challenges, and then adapts its  program to target the particular areas of hardship. This is where the 1:1 ratio comes into play, allowing each child to receive the professional attention that he or she needs. 

Baruch Hashem, Mikey made enormous progress in his development and in overcoming his challenges. He became more loving and verbal.  

“He used to not want to play with anyone, but now, he loves to play with people!” his mother jubilantly reports. With Hashem’s help, he will continue to progress and ultimately graduate. 

The parents whom I interviewed all gave the same advice: start the process at a young age.  

“The more you hide it, the tougher it ends up being,” one parent warned. “Do everything you can do for your child, and be vocal about it. Know that everything comes from Hashem, and your job is to do the best you can. And, most importantly, love your child.” 

 

Going the Extra Mile 

Typically, when you leave school or work at the end of the day, it doesn’t follow you home. Once you leave the doctor’s office, the doctor doesn’t show up at your house later. Not so with Reach for the Stars!  

In their commitment to “look at the whole child,” the staff of Reach for the Stars offer extra services on the weekends, and are available whenever parents need help. 

If, for example, a parent is afraid to take the child to the dentist alone, a therapist from Reach for the Stars accompanies the parent and child to ensure everything goes well. 

“On Saturdays and Sundays they are part of our family!” one parent marveled, explaining how the school truly goes above and beyond for her child. 

The level of care provided by Reach for the Stars can only be described as unprecedented, with the staff going as far as they possibly can to help these children succeed. 

Reach for the Stars takes their children on various kinds of excursions where they are challenged to apply the skills they learn in their therapy sessions in real-life settings. Mikey’s mother describes that on these trips, “they teach him how to leave a place he really likes – even though he doesn’t want to.” The school also runs groups to give children social opportunities. Many of the children have considerable difficulty socializing, and need to learn this critical skill. The school offers different groups to engage each child’s interest; sports, cooking, reading, gymnastics and music. These groups broaden the children’s interests and give them the opportunity to socialize with their peers. 

The ultimate goal of Reach for the Stars is for their students to not need them. Once a child reaches that point, when he or she can attend a mainstream school, the child graduates with a beautiful graduation ceremony. The mission of Reach for the Stars has then been successfully completed.  

Through close monitoring, limitlessly devoted care, and an emphasis on building the right skills for each child, Reach for the Stars’ state-of-the-art program has given hope to hundreds of families over the past 20 years. They have succeeded in helping so many youngsters bridge the gaps between them and their peers so they could receive a mainstream education and blossom. Children who began their journey in the care of Reach for the Starts, facing various difficult challenges, have gone on to attain incredible heights. 

If you have a struggling young child, Reach for the Stars can help your child progress, learn, and shine brightly – and the earlier the child begins, the easier the journey to success will be. For more information, please contact Reach for the Stars

The Lighter Side – September 2024

Back to School

September came and thankfully the kids at King David Elementary school were back in class. A few days in, the principal, Rabbi Epstein, was walking through the lunch room and noticed a few students hard at work on their calculators. Surprised that they had received such a difficult math problem so early in the school year, Rabbi Epstein approached them and asked what their assignment was.

One of the students, a girl named Shira looked up at Rabbi Epstein and replied, “We’re figuring out how many days until winter break.”

Victor G.

Sharp Shooter

Little Dovid Greenberg’s mother took him to the doctor for a checkup. All the way there, Mrs. Greenberg had to reassure little Dovid that he would not be getting a shot. Dovid went through his eye exam and his hearing test. Then the nurse came into the exam room and started to ask some routine questions.

“Is your son allergic to anything Mrs. Greenberg?” asked the nurse.

Immediately Dovid piped up and said, “YES, I’m allergic to shots!”

Henry F.

Shmulik the Family Cat

Shmulik, the Rothstein family cat, had gotten injured and needed to stay at the vet clinic for several days. The three Rothstein children were so concerned that several times a day, Michael and Miriam Rothstein had to reassure them that Shmulik was safe and being cared for by the “animal doctor.”

Finally, the Rothsteins got the call that Shmulik was ready to come home. Driving to the vet’s, it became clear that little four-year-old Suzie, had been doing a lot of thinking about Shmulik’s absence when she asked, “Mom, what kind of animal is the doctor?”

Karen M.

Old Age Insecurity

Morty Epstein was talking to his young grandson Daniel about people in the Torah. During the conversation Morty told his grandson that Methuselah lived to be 969 years old, which is older than anyone else has ever lived.

Little Daniel thought about this fact for a second and then asked, “Grandpa, did you know him?”

Simon K.

Shul Tryouts

There was a shul that was looking for a baal tokea, someone to blow the shofar. A man came to try out but did a terrible job. He asked for a second chance – but was told, “Sorry, YOU BLEW IT!”

Alex M.

Holiday Humor

A man comes to the rabbi and asks for instructions on how to build a kosher sukkah. The rabbi directs him to read a page of the Gemara tractate of Sukkot and follow the instructions. The man follows all the instructions and just as he puts up last piece of schach on top of the sukkah, the whole thing collapses. Thinking he made a mistake; he backtracks and rebuilds the sukkah with the same result. Very frustrated, he goes back to the rabbi and explains what happened. The rabbi opens to the page of the Gemara, studies it for a few minutes and exclaims, “Funny, Rashi asks the same question!”

Arthur G.

Tire Sale

Sammy was having a garage sale and invited some of his neighbors to sell their wares at his place as well. One of Sammy’s neighbors, Brent Mathews, took four tires over and was asking $30 apiece. Brent needed to leave for a few minutes, so he asked Sammy to watch the tires for him.

“Sure,” Sammy said, “but if someone offers less, how low are you willing to go?”

“Try your best for more, but I guess I’d be willing to accept $15,” Brent said, and left.

When Brent returned, his tires were gone. “How much did you get for them?” Brent asked excitedly.

“Fifteen dollars each,” replied Sammy.

“Who bought them?” asked Brent.

“I did!” said Sammy.

David A.

Timberrr!

An injured patient came into Tel Aviv’s Hadassah hospital and the nurses immediately had him X-rayed, as it was clear that he had some pretty severe fractures. The nurse bought the X-rays to Dr. Hadari, and sure enough, the patient had multiple fractures.

“What happened to this patient?” Dr. Hadari asked in astonishment.

“He fell out of a tree,” the nurse reported.

“What was he doing up a tree?” asked the doctor.

“Well, his paperwork states that he works for Shmulik’s Expert Tree Service.”

Gazing intently at the X-rays, Dr. Hadari said, “I guess the first thing we should do is cross out the word ‘Expert.’”

Sharon B.

Career Change

Abie had been a salesman in the garment district all his life, but was getting tired of the constant battles with customers. So, he decided to give up his job and become a policeman.

Several months later, a friend asked Abie how he liked his new career.

“Well,” Abie replied, “the pay is terrible, the hours are too long, and I’ve gained ten pounds because of all of these donuts, but the one thing I love is that the customer is always wrong.”

Lisa P.

Fill’er Up

A rabbi was waiting in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump.

“Rabbi,” said the young man, “I’m so sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip.”

The rabbi chuckled, “I know what you mean. It’s the same in my business.”

Maurice Z.

Looks Can be Deceiving

A Jewish woman was sitting on a train opposite a young man.

“Excuse me, are you Jewish?” she asks.

“No,” he replies and continues to read his newspaper.

“Are you SURE you aren’t Jewish?” she asks.

“Yes, I’m sure!” he replies.

A few moments later she asks again, “Are you absolutely positive you aren’t Jewish?”

Fed up, and in desperation, the man says, “Okay, I’m Jewish,” just to keep woman quiet.

Surprised by his response, she says, “Funny, you don’t LOOK Jewish!”

Carol D.

Dental Dilemma

Joey is in Dr. Goldstein’s dentist’s chair. “Now open your mouth wide, please,” says Dr. Goldstein.

Joey does what he’s told. Dr. Goldstein looks inside Joey’s mouth and says, “Oy gevult, that’s the biggest cavity I’ve seen in years! Oy gevult, that’s the biggest cavity I’ve seen in years!”

“I heard the bad news the first time,” says Joey, gloomily, “there was no need to repeat yourself.”

“I didn’t repeat myself,” says Dr. Goldstein with a smile. “That was an echo.”

Frieda T.

No More Notes

Little Moishie was having a tough time adjusting to first grade. At least twice a week, his parents would receive a note from his teacher outlining his latest infractions.

Finally, his parents sat him down and said, “Moishie, we’ve had enough! We don’t want any more notes from your teacher!”

Moishe replied, “Alright. Do you guys want to tell her or should I?”

Eddie H.

Mabrouk – September 2024

Births – Baby Boy 

Moshe Shimon & Dina Maleh 

Dan & Lena Marciano 

Jack & Francis Haddad 

Abie & Sarah Husney 

Shlomo & Simha Abady 

Irving & Odette Franco 

Norman & Michelle Cohen 

Rabbi Joseph & Shirley Dana 

 

Births – Baby Girl 

Abraham & Rachel Seruya 

Steven & Victoria Srour 

Shaul & Rosie Sultan 

Eli & Alisa Sakal 

Sol & Rachel Tawil 

Steven & Shirley Harary 

Michael & Sheila Kishk 

 

Engagements  

Sam Chera to Frieda Sasson 

Eli Sabbagh to Joyce Cohen 

Morris Franco to Rebecca Douek 

Leon Yedid to Fatima Blanco 

Nissim Mishan to Grace Khezrie 

Elliot Akerman to Tina Kassab 

Isaac Tammam to Sarah Cheney 

 

Weddings 

Alan Fallas to Rebecca Haddad 

Ezra Harary to Sarah Dwek 

Joey Levy to Danielle Franco 

Ariel Goshen to Rebecca Calvo 

Isaac Marcus to Sylvia Azar 

Joey Harari to Jacqueline Beyda 

Marc Fallas to Rina Cohen 

Shopping for a Flip Phone

Jenna Ashkenazie  

While it may seem that flip phones are now scarce, with limited models, this is not actually so! Flip phones are coming back into style, so finding a good flip phone that fits into your family’s beliefs and budget is now a great option. Let’s take a look at some examples of what is out there.  

 

Cat S22 Flip 

For example, take the Cat S22 Flip. This phone costs about $63 pre-tax, and offers a  touchscreen, is water resistant, and has internet connection. Its  long battery life allows you to use the phone for approximately 48 hours before needing a full recharge. This phone allows you to access nearly all apps, such as banking apps, and even Spotify and YouTube. However, users report that this phone runs a little slower than the average smartphone, and it is not compatible with CDMA carriers such as Verizon, Boost, or Sprint.  

 

Nokia 2720 Flip 

Another great choice is the Nokia 2720 Flip. This phone can last approximately 28 days on a single charge, and is extremely durable. Pricing ranges from $45 to $115 making this a phone worth the investment. This phone can connect to the internet, and even comes with apps such as WhatsApp and Facebook pre-downloaded. The greatest feature of this phone, however, is the safety button. Press the button on the side of the phone and an emergency text message is sent to local authorities in your location, and an emergency message will be sent to the five emergency contacts listed in your address book. This is an excellent safety feature. This phone comes in red, gray, and black.  

 

Nokia 2780 Flip 

A more affordable Nokia option is the Nokia 2780 Flip, which runs about $41 on Amazon. It is available in red and blue, and boasts a battery life of up to 18 days, and is compatibility with almost all phone carriers, such as Verizon, T-Mobile, Cricket, and more. This phone has real time text, larger buttons, and hearing aid compatibility. Additionally, caller ID shows up on the screen without you having to open the phone. While this phone does have internet connection, it is easy to block data usage and put parental controls on the WIFI, which can prevent the use of unwanted apps. 

 

Easyfone Prime A-1 

If you are looking for a phone with no internet support, the Easyfone Prime A-1 pro is a great option. For about $90, the phone provides all the basic functions, such as call and text, without all the excess social media apps and browsers. It is compatible with phone carriers such as T-Mobile and MetroPCS. It is not compatible with CDMA networks such as Verizon and Sprint. This phone is great for senior citizens who do not want the extra functions, and for children whose parents do not want them to have access to the extra functions. The phone also comes with an SOS button that sends an emergency text to the numbers on the emergency contact list, if needed. This phone is also Bluetooth and hearing aid compatible, enabling you to use your Bluetooth or hearing aids to listen to the radio that is compatible with the phone, or simply to answer phone calls.  

 

LIVELY Jitterbug Flip 2 

Another affordable flip phone without internet is the LIVELY Jitterbug Flip2. This phone sells for about $48 on Amazon, and boasts a long-lasting battery, and easy to use features, such as a large screen, a powerful speaker, big buttons, and a simple list-based menu. Although it does not have internet connectivity, it is capable of connecting to the Amazon Alexa, making it even simpler to call and text. The one downside to this phone it is that it is only compatible with the LIVELY phone carrier service. However, the carrier does include unlimited talk and text, and 24/7 LIVELY customer service. Like many of the other flip phones, it also has an emergency button that alerts an Urgent Response agent who will quickly assess the situation and provide the help needed.