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Ask Jido – November 2024

Dear Jido, 

I have an old friend who seems to consider herself very well-mannered. She writes her thank-you notes on cards and mails them, while I send my thank-you messages via email.  

When I tell her she doesn’t need to send a handwritten thank-you, she says, “My mother taught me to always do it that way.” Of course, that makes me feel “less than” for my emailed thanks. 

When she comes to visit me, she always brings a hostess gift. It’s very thoughtful, although it’s usually something I can’t use. I appreciate the gesture, though. 

She knows that my guest bedroom and bathroom are stocked for the use and comfort of my guests. Yet, when she takes a shower, she only uses the hand towel to dry herself. She uses a bath towel at home. 

I assume she feels it is somehow more polite to not soil a bath towel, but to make do with a hand towel. I don’t say anything about it, but it feels like an insult to me. I am trying to provide everything to make a guest feel at home. How should I handle this? 

Signed, 

Puzzled 

Dear Puzzled, 

Not to get too Biblical on you, but the Talmud actually speaks about someone who is very “particular” about their ways and habits. 

If it was only one idiosyncrasy that she had about not dirtying a bath towel, you might take it personally. But since she seems to have a series of habits that appear to you to be over the top, you can assume that she is what the rabbis in the Talmud call “delicate.”  There, it says that they even make “minor” accommodations for that type of person and allow a deviation from certain laws. 

There doesn’t seem to be any intent on her part to slight or embarrass you. I would assume that she is a very special person holding on to long-held habits and is to be admired. Invite her often and enjoy her company. 

All the best, 

Jido 

Medical Halacha – Using Doves to Cure Jaundice

Rabbi Yehuda Finchas 

Sara gave birth to a beautiful healthy baby boy. She was excited that her brother Yosef, a mohel, arranged to fly in from Israel to New York and had agreed to perform the brit mila for his new little nephew. Yosef arrived the day before the brit mila was to take place.  

He looked at the baby and shook his head. “Sara, Mabrouk! But the baby is yellow and I cannot perform the brit mila unless the color clears up by tomorrow.” Sara responded, “But the baby is healthy!” She called her doctor to confirm that the baby was, indeed, perfectly healthy. Dr. Walter Smith had checked the baby and reiterated that  he was, indeed, perfectly healthy.  

When Yosef told Dr. Smith that it was possible to treat jaundice with doves, the doctor was incredulous. “Using doves to heal jaundice?!” he responded. “Is there scientific evidence to support this?!”  

According to Jewish tradition, the “pigeon treatment” has been employed successfully for generations. 

When a Baby Is “Yarok” 

Physiological jaundice in a newborn is not usually considered a medical risk even if the baby has a yellowish appearance. However, the Gemara (Shabbat 134a) notes that a sick child should not undergo a brit mila until he recovers and this includes if a baby is “yarok,” meaning he has a greenish or yellowish appearance. Such a baby should not have a brit mila until he loses the “yarok” complexion. Even though there may not be any medical reason to delay the brit mila, the Rambam (Mila 1:17) and Shulchan Aruch (YD 263:1) rule that one may not perform a brit mila on a baby who is “yarok.” 

The Dove Treatment  

Hacham Ovadia, zt”l, has a responsa (Yabia Omer YD, 9:32) discussing the halachic implications of the healing power of doves in treating jaundice. He quotes a segula from Taamei Haminhagim, where the treatment for curing jaundice (often seen in hepatitis patients) is to place a male pigeon on the navel of a male, or a female pigeon on the navel of a female. Hacham Ovadia, also notes anecdotal evidence of cases in which the pigeon dies and the patient is healed. The claim is that the pigeon draws the jaundice out from the patient, thus eliminating the jaundice. Dr. Walter saw no medical need or benefit to do this ancient “treatment” and even claimed that it should qualify as animal cruelty. 

Hacham Ovadia acknowledges that the doctors question this form of intervention and understands that it may not cure all patients from jaundice. However, Hacham Ovadia recognizes that many patients have been cured this way. 

Rulings of Hacham Ovadia and the Rambam  

Hacham Ovadia further explains that in this instance there is no concern of animal cruelty – tzaar baalei haim, even though this procedure causes the death of the doves. While there are many sources that argue that tzaar baalei haim is a Biblical prohibition according to most poskim, this prohibition is waived when the action is necessary for human benefit. In other words, tzaar baalei haim does not apply when there is human gain. Hacham Ovadia applies this concept to using doves as a segula for health reasons, even if there is no scientific explanation for the phenomena. 

In a different responsa, Hacham Ovadia (Yabia Omer OC, 8:37) discusses using a segula as a treatment for an illness that involves hilul Shabbat. When quoting different opinions among the poskim whether this is permitted, he elaborates on the Rambam’s position. In his Pirush Hamishna (Yuma 8:6), the Rambam explains that you may not use a segula that involves a prohibition unless it is has a proven medical efficacy. In Moreh Nevuchim (3:37) the Rambam explains that the we do find Hazal using segulot that cannot be explained scientifically, but as long as experience demonstrates their efficacy, they may still be used. Therefore, even though using doves to treat jaundice qualifies as segula without scientific basis, Hacham Ovadia writes that it works and it is permissible to use this treatment.  

Hacham Ovadia is confident that regardless of the Rambam’s position vis-à-vis segulot, the Rambam would still permit using doves to cure jaundice as he (the Rambam) rules that tzaar baalei haim is only a rabbinic prohibition and should be permissibly violated for human benefit. 

Conclusion 

In conclusion, a brit mila may not be performed on a baby who is “yarok.” But since there is no medical illness, the brit mila may be performed as soon as the baby loses his “yarok” complexion. The Rishon Lezion, Hacham Yitzhak Yosef, explains (Sova Semahot 2:16:3) that even though we must usually wait a full seven days for a baby to recover from an illness, since physiological jaundice is not considered a classic medical illness, one does not need to wait seven days in this instance. He also rules that it is permissible to use doves to try to cure the jaundice. 

Rabbi Yehuda Finchas is a worldwide expert, lecturer, and author on Medical Halacha. He heads the Torat Habayit Medical Halacha Institute. His latest book is “Brain Death in Halacha and the Tower of Babel Syndrome.” To contact Rabbi Finchas, email rabbi@torathabayit.com. 

Living Emunah If Only…

Rabbi David Ashear

A sentence appears towards  the end of the Shaar HaBitachon section of Chovot HaLevavot, which if we internalize and follow its message, could spare us a great deal of heartache and angst. It states, “The one who trusts [in Hashem] says: I never decided to do something and then wished I had done something else.”

When it comes to mundane matters, everything is under Hashem’s complete control. If a person purchases a car, and the next day he hears of a better deal on a nicer car, he might say to himself, I should never have bought this car. What a mistake! I hate this car. I could’ve done so much better! But one who trusts in Hashem, recognizes that Hashem did not grant him access the previous day to the information he now has about the other car, and so the vehicle he purchased is the one Hashem decided he should have, for his benefit. He is therefore perfectly content and happy with his purchase.

Likewise, if a person bought a house and soon after learned about a larger house in the same neighborhood with more sunlight and a driveway, which was selling for the same price, will not regret his purchase if he lives with genuine bitachon. He will realize that Hashem did not allow him to know about this larger house because, in His infinite wisdom, He knew it was best for this person to live in the house he purchased.

This is even true about marriage. If soon after his wedding a man has second thoughts and begins asking himself why he married this woman, wondering if perhaps he made a mistake, he must recognize that these thoughts are instruments of the yetzer hara, evil inclination, which is trying to ruin his life. When he got engaged and married, he was thinking very clearly and it made perfect sense to him. Hashem guided him to that girl and made sure everything would work out so they would get married. He should not regret it now, after the fact, once he is married.

Of course, in situations where something can still be done to improve a person’s condition, he must make an effort to do so. But once the situation is finalized and nothing can be done to change it, he should feel confident and happy knowing that Hashem guided him to make the decision that ultimately works out to his greatest benefit.

Two years ago, a man by the name of Moe* told me the following story:

Every year, he would spend the summer with his family at a camp in upstate New York where he held a certain position, in exchange for which he received room and board for his family and free camp for his children.

During the winter of that year, Moe was not well and decided to take some time off to relax and recuperate. He phoned the camp’s owner and informed him that he would not be joining them that summer.

Toward the end of the school year, though, he felt much stronger and decided he would be able to assume his regular position. Moreover, his family was very disappointed at the prospect of not spending the summer in camp.

Moe called the camp, but the owner informed him that someone else had already accepted his position for that summer. He endured a great deal of heartache and frustration over the decision he had made. “What was I thinking?” he asked himself repeatedly. “Why did I give this up?”

He needed to internalize the words of the Chovot HaLevavot – One who trusts in Hashem never regrets a decision he made.  During the winter, he felt he would be unable to handle the summer job. Hashem knew the future, and He certainly knew that Moe would feel better by the summer. Yet, He did not put the thought in Moe’s mind that he might feel stronger in a couple of months, and that his family would be very disappointed if they did not spend summer in camp. Hashem knew what was best for him, and so he was led to make this decision.

At this point, when there was nothing more he could do, Moe should have acknowledged that Hashem’s will was for his family not to spend the summer in camp, and make the most of this situation.

Hashem is in full control of our lives. He arranges the situations that He knows will be best for us. We need to trust Him and feel perfectly at ease knowing that He is directing us, He knows our thoughts and feelings, He knows the future, and He always puts us exactly where we need to be.

* Name has been changed.

Community Highlights – Senator Felder Fights Back: Are Sanitation Tickets Targeting Shabbat Observers?

Senator Simcha Felder has issued a formal letter to the New York City Chief of Enforcement at the Department of Sanitation (DSNY) in response to growing concerns from constituents regarding sanitation violation tickets issued to Shabbat-observant residents. Many in the district and throughout New York City have reported receiving fines for placing their trash at the curb before sunset on Fridays, a religious requirement that conflicts with new sanitation rules.

In New York City, residents and businesses can be fined for setting out trash at the wrong time or in the wrong way. Trash has to be set out after 6pm in a bin with a secure lid, or after 8pm, if putting bags directly on the curb. The Jewish Sabbath begins 18 minutes before sunset on Friday, and as we enter the Fall-Winter seasons sunset comes earlier each week. Shabbat observers with Saturday collection will need to set their trash at the curb in advance, which will be earlier than DSNY’s Trash Setout Times.

Senator Felder’s request is clear. He is urging DSNY to cease the enforcement of sanitation violation tickets for trash setout times on Fridays in neighborhoods where trash collection occurs on Saturdays. By doing so, he aims to protect the rights of New Yorkers to practice their faith without fear of punitive measures.

In his letter, Senator Felder emphasized that the enforcement of sanitation rules must respect the religious practices of all New Yorkers. “For many New Yorkers, placing trash out for collection before sunset on Fridays is not a mere convenience, but a vital aspect of their religious observance, and the City knows this. It was made very clear to the administration during the public comment period before the rule change,” said Felder.

“I know this city never met a ticket it didn’t like, but issuing fines under these circumstances demonstrates a real lack of understanding toward Shabbat observant communities. I am urging the DSNY to work collaboratively with community leaders to find a solution that accommodates religious observances while maintaining public sanitation standards.”

Met Council  Distributes Nearly $5m in Food During High Holiday Season

Last month, the Met Council provided $4,781,000 of food to 181,000 Jewish families in New York, New Jersey, and Connecticut.

Packages included fresh produce, canned fruits and vegetables, pasta, rice, flour, soup mix, tuna, cholent mix, chickpeas, tea biscuits, honey, apples, grape juice, challah, chicken, fish, and dairy items.

In addition, the organization distributed over 430,000 eggs.

“In the past year alone, egg prices have surged by to over 250 percent, a stark increase for a staple item compared to last Rosh Hashanah,” said David Greenfield, CEO of Met Council. “Everything is more expensive.”

Greenfield noted that the increase in food prices “means more families are facing food insecurity on a regular basis and are forced to choose between nutritional food or paying for basic living expenses. Our mission is clear: to ensure that families can celebrate this yom tov season with dignity, coming together to enjoy the holidays, and start the new year on a positive note.”

Magen David Yeshivah Congratulates 2025 Commended Students

Magen David Yeshivah High School congratulated seniors Philip Sherr and Marc Sutton for being named Commended Students in the 2025 National Merit Scholarship Program. A Letter of Commendation was presented to Sherr and Sutton by Dr. Daniel Vitow, representing both Magen David Yeshivah High School and the National Merit Scholarship Corporations, which conducts the program. Approximately 34,000 Commended Students throughout the nation are being recognized for their exceptional academic promise, placing Marc Sutton and Phil Sherr among the top 50,000 students who entered the 2025 competition by taking the 2023 Preliminary SAT/National Merit Qualifying Test.

Chef Shiri: Kids – See if you have what it takes to become a Junior Chef!

Adult Supervision Required

Utensils Needed:

  • Can opener
  • Strainer
  • Medium Mixing Bowl
  • Fork
  • Measuring cups & spoons
  • Electric mixer
  • Baking sheet
  • Oven mitts

Ingredients:

  • 1 can  (15.75-ounce) sweet potatoes
  • 1 cup soymilk
  • ¾ cup dark brown sugar
  • ¼ cup all-purpose flour
  • 2 eggs
  • 1¼ teaspoons ground cinnamon
  • 1/8 teaspoon salt
  • 1 ready-to-bake pie crust (9-inch)

DIRECTIONS:

  1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit.
  2. Open the can of sweet potatoes and pour into a strainer over the sink to drain out all of the liquid.
  3. Place the sweet potatoes into a medium mixing bowl. Mash them with the back of a fork.
  4. Add the soymilk, brown sugar, flour, eggs, cinnamon, and salt.
  5. With an electric mixer at medium speed, mix all the ingredients until the mixture becomes a smooth batter.
  6. Place the pie crust on a baking sheet. Pour the batter into the pie crust.
  7. Transfer the baking sheet into the hot oven and bake the pie for 10 minutes.
  8. Lower the oven temperature to 350 degrees Fahrenheit and bake for an additional 40 minutes.
  9. Use the oven mitts to carefully remove baking sheet with the sweet potato pie from the oven.

Serves 12!

Not a Potato Nor a Yam

Despite their name, sweet potatoes are not related to regular potatoes. A sweet potato is a root, while potatoes are tubers.  The sweet potato is also often called a yam. Again, the two are unrelated. True yams are starchy, underground tubers.

Sailing Relationships with R’ Ali

QUESTION: 

Dear Rabbi Ali, 

I have been struggling with something in my marriage for about a year and it’s only getting worse. My husband has stopped going to minyan in the morning almost completely. He doesn’t go to classes anymore and seems to be falling spiritually in general. I am concerned for him and the family. Our kids see this and I’m worried that they will be lax spiritually as well. I have told him how I feel multiple times, but it turns into a fight every time. Your advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you. 

R’ ALI’S RESPONSE: 

There are many points that need clarity. I see many people struggling with this and see many cases that are similar to yours. There’s the point of being a good wife, which does entail caring about your husband and being concerned for his physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. There’s another point of how to approach the situation. And the third point is how your children are being affected, which is not simple at all. 

Let’s start with the first point of being concerned for your spouse’s well-being. The feeling that you have, which is that your husband is not holding spiritually where he used to, is the feeling of a good spouse. To say, “Let him do his job and I’ll do mine,” is not really the approach for a spouse. There is a well-known saying that people often say to women when they are getting married, “You are not your husband’s mashgiah (rabbi, mentor, etc…). We will soon explain what this means. However it does not mean that you are not to be concerned about your husband’s spiritual level, similar to his physical and emotional status. Of course, we all agree that “you are not your husband’s doctor.” However, a good wife will instinctively be concerned if her husband’s cholesterol is too high. This is  included in being a “helpmate” for your husband.  

The second point is where things get tricky. The goal is to help your husband, not to hurt him or create a new problem, namely a lack of shalom bayit. You have to realize that this is definitely a sore topic and needs to be dealt with delicately. I would advise against telling him that he’s falling spiritually or hurting the family. This will not be received well, as you have stated. Actually, this is not exclusive to spirituality. To demand, command, or give any rebuke to a spouse, could be degrading and is the source of many shalom bayit issues. This is where the famous saying of “you are not your husband’s mashgiah” comes into play. It is not advisable to tell him where he is failing. Leave that to the rabbi or to anyone else who has an influence on him. 

Practically speaking, what can be done? I suggest a three-step process. Number one, show concern. Instead of saying, “Why can’t you wake up?” you can ask if everything is okay, and say that you’re concerned, is there anything that you can do to help? If he says that he’s fine, then drop it. The next step would be to give positive praise and reinforcement when he does go to minyan. Wait for that moment. that I do believe will happen, and let him know how beautiful it is to see him go to minyan. It may sound childish, but this is the way we operate in business as well. Any good boss knows that positivity works wonders and negativity is a failing system. 

The third step could be used as a last resort or in conjunction with the first two. Speak to someone who you know that your husband respects and listens to, preferably a rabbi. To get a phone call from a rabbi  saying that he’s missed in shul and that things are not the same without him will make almost anyone feel like a million dollars. 

The third point that you bring up about your kids is a real concern. However, there is so much that you can do on your end. You can read the young ones bedtime stories about big tzadikim, depending on their age. For the older ones, you can give them positive praise when you see them do mitzvot such as going to minyan or making berachot. The more you praise them, the more you will make them excited about the mitzvot that they do. There is a lot to talk about, but I do believe these are the basics. 

One on One with Sabrina Benun

Ellen Geller Kamaras 

“My greatest passion is the Food Connection. It’s tiring but immensely rewarding to cook Shabbat meals for the elderly and for people and their families who are in the hospital for surgery or are undergoing treatment. I hold it near and dear to me.” -  Sabrina 

Please meet Sabrina Benun. She is the Operations Director for M. Hidary & Company, a wholesale clothing company that specializes in the design, manufacturing, and distribution of wearing apparel.  Its focus is on active lifestyle clothing, such as athletic wear, swimwear, and outerwear for the entire family. 

A true woman of valor, Sabrina is the co-founder of Food Connection, which prepares hundreds of Shabbat meals weekly.  She and her friend Remy Zeitoune started the Food Connection at the beginning of the pandemic, in March 2020, when the SBH Food Pantry was about to close. Three years later, the Food Connection reached a milestone of over 50,000 meals prepared by its volunteers for the SBH pantry.  This translates to 50,000 times that a family or individual received a homemade meal prepared with love and care by our community members. 

Sabrina wears two more hats! She caters Shabbat meals and also owns a dehydrated fruit business called “Whole Fruits.” 

Let’s go back to Sabrina’s childhood and follow her trajectory in becoming the talented and resourceful woman she is today. 

Beginnings 

Born to Mona and Jack Benun, Sabrina grew up on the Jersey Shore and was a student at Hillel Yeshiva for elementary and high school.  Jack is of Syrian descent and was born in the U.S.  Mona was born in Egypt.  Sabrina is the second of four daughters, Rebecca, Sabrina, Vanessa, and Jasmine. The sisters are still very close and were fortunate to have traveled with their maternal grandmother to Egypt to learn about their roots.  

Sabrina’s dad modeled a strong work ethic, and her mother was very creative and opened her home to guests and family. The Benun girls saw many parties in their childhood home and helped their mother shop, decorate tables, and more. Sabrina always enjoyed cooking.   

As a child, Sabrina was very shy, quiet, and serious. She was an honor student.  “Learning came easy to me and my favorite subjects were science and chemistry.”  Sabrina also liked to paint and play softball. 

After high school, Sabrina enrolled at Monmouth University. She was an avid student and took a broad range of subjects including public relations and journalism.  She graduated with honors with a major in communications. 

What is Sabrina’s essence?  Her family describes Sabrina as caring, giving, outgoing, smart, savvy, and she possesses a heart of gold.  I would add extremely resourceful, energetic, inventive, creative, and driven.  Sabrina’s devotion to community is boundless. 

Career and Hesed 

After college, while building her career and community, Sabrina evolved from a shy student to an outgoing, strong woman. 

Fresh out of Monmouth U., Sabrina moved to Manhattan and started an e-commerce business in 1999, buying trendy closeout items and selling them on eBay.   Sabrina learned about eBay from a classmate in her public speaking class.  He said that eBay is like an “online garage sale.” This analogy fascinated Sabrina and sparked her interest.  

“I liked fashion and I was one of the first sellers on eBay. My specialty was women’s high-end clothing and accessories.  I thrived on keeping up with the next trend, the next hot item.”  Her younger sister, Vanessa, joined Sabrina when she graduated college. 

The eBay market started collapsing in 2007 and completely crashed with the 2008 market and financial collapse.   

In 2008, Sabrina secured a full-time position in logistics for a clothing and accessories company and continues to work in this industry.  She began her role as Operations Director at M. Hidary this past May.  “Logistics and Operations come naturally to me – it makes sense to me and I am very organized at work.  I enjoy the people and every day my job presents me with new challenges.”    

The Pandemic 

Sabrina worked for a wholesale company whose customer base was supermarkets. She was therefore considered an essential worker and continued to go into the office even after Covid struck. 

Food Connection 

The Food Connection was born when Sabrina’s friend Remy saw an SBH flyer asking for volunteers to cook Shabbat meals in March 2020, right when Covid hit.  The SBH Food Pantry was shutting down due to a food shortage.  Remy said, “Let’s volunteer.”  They made 60 meals! After posting on social media, volunteers began to cook the meals at their homes, maintaining strict standards of kashrut.  They even freeze some meals for last minute requests.  An SBH chat was created to ensure all requests are met. 

Sabrina organizes events where young people participate and cook meals together.  Approximately 300 Shabbat meals were cooked. 

Approximately 250 to 400 Shabbat meals are now cooked by 15 to 20 Manhattan volunteers, largely for the elderly and families in need, served by SBH Brooklyn. 

Shabbat meals are also prepared and delivered to community members and their families in hospitals and sometimes to where the Morris Franco Community Cancer Center directs them.  

There is a large Sephardic/Syrian community in Manhattan.  Sabrina prays at the Safra Synagogue and loves the community saying,  “Wherever we are, we stay connected.” 

Whole Fruits 

Eleven years ago Sabrina launched her dehydrated fruit business, Whole Fruits, on Instagram.  She saw a dehydrated fruit platter on Pinterest and asked a friend, “If I sold this, would you buy it?”  The rest is history! Sabrina dehydrates the fruit herself.  Dehydrated fruit is healthier than dried fruit as there is no added sugar. Dehydrated fruits are a good source of fiber, vitamins, and minerals.  They are made by baking fresh fruit in the oven at a low temperature.   

Sabrina sells platters for the holidays that are available on koshervalet.com, under the strict supervision of Rabbi Navarro. She also accepts orders throughout the year, via text or private message on Instagram. Her platters are available at Ouri’s Market in Manhattan and in Deal Foods in the summer. Follow her on Instagram @whole_fruit. 

Balance  

Sabrina continually strives for work-life balance.  Her chief challenge is managing her time. 

She works out and enjoys meeting friends for dinner. Sabrina has a personal trainer for boxing, which really releases her stress.  She travels as much as she can. Most recently she joined a safari at the Kruger National Park in South Africa. She recommends visiting countries abroad, including South Africa, Zimbabwe, Zambia, and Botswana. 

What’s Next 

Did I mention thatSabrina also loves cooking and hosting meals?  

“I like to try new recipes and putting my own twist on Sephardic dishes.” 

Sabrina caters Shabbat meals for community individuals and families. She has also cooked for working moms.  Opening her own full-time catering business is definitely on her wish list. 

Sabrina encourages young people “to put it out there if they find something they like.  I never knew I would make and sell dehydrated fruit platters eleven years ago until I tried it.” 

To join Sabrina’s team of volunteers or to speak with her, feel free to connect with her by email Sbenun77@gmail.com, text 732-233-5689, or Instagram@sabrinajb.  

Ellen Geller Kamaras, CPA/MBA, is an International Coach Federation (ICF) Associate Certified Coach. Her coaching specialties include life, career, and dating coaching.  Ellen is active in her community and is currently the acting President of Congregation Bnai Avraham in Brooklyn Heights. She can be contacted at ellen@lifecoachellen.com (www.lifecoachellen.com). 

Once Upon A Thyme – Red Schug

Adina Yaakov, RD CDN

If you love heat, then this recipe is for you. With only six ingredients, Red Schug takes less than ten minutes to prepare. Hot chili peppers paired with sweet sun-dried tomatoes blend seamlessly together to create the ultimate spicy condiment, perfect with challah, burgers, and much more.  

Ingredients: 

  • 5-6 cloves garlic  
  • 8 red chili peppers with seeds intact, stems removed 
  • 1 cup sun dried tomatoes  
  • 1 tsp  salt 
  • ¼ cup lemon juice 
  • ½ cup olive oil 

Directions: 

  1. In the bowl of a food processor or blender, add all ingredients and blend to a smooth paste.  
  2. Store in an airtight container until ready to use.  
  3. Store in the refrigerator and use within 5-6 days.  

October 7th – One Year Later

Ellen Geller Kamaras 

It is extremely painful for us to process that the Israel-Hamas war has continued for over a year.   

One year ago, the most horrific massacre since the Holocaust occurred to the Jewish people.   We all prayed that Hamas would release the hostages long before this anniversary. We could not fathom they would not be home more than one full year later. 

Due to security concerns, many of the October 7th commemoration program times were announced but locations were not shared publicly for fear of violence.  It is shocking to see the hatred that was unleashed with so many pro-Palestinian protests on the one-year anniversary of October 7th. 

The World’s Response 

Roger Cohen, an op-ed columnist for the International NY Times, reporting from Tel Aviv, summarized the world’s initial and subsequent reactions to the brutal events of October 7th: 

Much of the world understood Israel’s reaction, at least for a moment. But quickly, a Palestinian narrative of Israeli “genocide” in Gaza gained traction. The catastrophe, then, was not Israel’s, but that of the Palestinian people, systematically oppressed, in this telling, by a ruthless Israel intent for decades on dispossessing them. 

Cohen also cited the broad embrace of the Palestinian cause as an extension of movements for racial and social justice in the United States. 

The Rise of Anti-Semitism Close to Home 

Hate crimes and anti-Semitic incidents are growing and continue to threaten us with accompanying violence.  They are no longer faraway news reports but they are happening in our own neighborhoods.  Just recently, a Jewish spa owner’s windows were broken in Boerum Hill, Brooklyn, less than a mile from my home. 

College students still feel dangerously vulnerable and are grappling with anti-Semitism and pro-Palestinian factions on campus. 

Many Israelis have been displaced from their homes due to the war in Gaza and the war in the North. There are whole communities and kibbutzim near the Gaza border that remain in ruins, as they were on October 7th

We continue to pray that Hamas will release the remaining hostages (including the bodies of those killed) even while the war intensifies and grows. 

How Are We Stronger? 

Many have said one year later and one year stronger. How are we stronger? 

Israel has been blessed with open miracles this past year as the country faced fierce battles to eliminate Hamas and then Hezbollah.   

Jews have set aside their differences and have come together to defend Israel. 

Israel has been fighting an existential war, both in terms of security and its Zionist and democratic values.  We are fighting for Israel’s right to exist and survive.    

Last month, at the October 7th memorial at Congregation Bnai Avraham in Brooklyn Heights, Dr. Yair Ansbacher, an Israeli counter-terrorism expert,  explained that, in reality, the war is not against Hamas only or Hezbollah only, but is against Iran.  Iran pulls the strings and shapes the Middle East by Islamist proxies.  These include Hamas in the South (Gaza), Hezbollah in the North (Lebanon), Jihad in Judea and Samaria and the Palestinian territories, the Houthis in Yemen, and others in Iraq and Bahrain. 

In spite of the surge in anti-Semitism, we continue to use our Jewish mindset and practice values of optimism, faith, hope, and positivity. Most importantly, we try to exercise resilience.   

After October 7th, Jewish resilience meant the creation of a new normal.  Resilience requires not only perseverance but also the ability to adapt to adverse events.  Yossi Klein Halevi is an American-born Israeli author and journalist. Halevi said, “Even as we maintain the pretense of daily life (in Israel), a part of us is permanently alert.” 

Consequences of October 7th  

Friends asking each other: where were you when you heard about what happened on October 7th? has the same ring as asking: where you on 9/11? That date of October 7th, and what it represented, was like 9/11 – so shocking, which provoked such deep mourning for so many innocents.  

The Black Shabbat and the unprovoked war triggered a myriad of feelings including shock, despair, pain, depression, grief, and anger.   

However, as a result of October 7th, there was a surge of Jewish unity and pride both in Israel and globally.   

Israeli citizens of all political affiliations and religious orientations came together. Protests condemning Netanyahu and decrying the proposed judicial reform abated.  Signs and bumper stickers popped up all over Israel with the slogan b’yachad nenatzayach – together we will win. In religious communities “bezrat Hashem” was added. This slogan was printed on the outside wrappers of paper towels, on signs welcoming drivers to cities across the country, on posters along the highways, and in the windows of homes and stores everywhere. Reservists who had previously refused to appear for duty lined up to serve.  Reservists flew into Israel from all over the world – not just vacationers backpacking in India and Thailand, but even Israelis who had settled abroad and who had been away for years.   

An Increase in Religious Observance   

Nova survivors began observing Shabbat. This past March, the wildly popular Israeli comedian Hochman Guy called on his Tik Tok followers to help him reach one hundred thousand Jews to observe to the upcoming Shabbat for the first time in their lives. “We will show our enemies what kind of people we are,” he said. He told his followers that this would be the very first time he would be observing Shabbat.  

More Israeli soldiers began wearing tzitzit, as volunteers around the country worked tirelessly to affix the strings and tie them properly. Rabbi Asher Weiss, a well-respected Israeli posek, originally from Borough Park, gave a psak allowing women to tie tzitzit, as well. More Israeli men are donning tefillin.  Community member Linda Cohen, along with Ramona Mizrahi, launched the leilui nishmat project in memory of Ramona’s brother.  They collect used tefillin along with donations to purchase new tefillin and send them to Israel for soldiers. 

Jews in the Diaspora began to rethink their priorities and what it means to be a Jew in the U.S. and in other countries.  They began returning to shul, lighting Shabbat candles, and displaying their Jewish identity by wearing Jewish stars, kippot, and “Bring Them Home Now” necklace tags.  

Jews across the globe are affirming their belief in Israel’s right to exist as our homeland. 

Anti-Semitism Spikes 

The Israel-Hamas war has caused a spike in anti-Semitism outside of Israel, particularly in the U.S. and in Europe.   

The Atlantic magazine recently published an article by Dara Horn titled: October 7 Created a Permission Structure for Anti-Semitism, with the subtitle: What American Jews have experienced in the past year is both a pattern and a warning. 

The U.S. Holocaust Museum reports that since October 7th an unprecedented wave of anti-Semitism, Holocaust distortion, and Holocaust denial has swept the globe. 

As of October 10th, the Israeli prime minister’s office lists 97 hostages still held in Gaza, and has confirmed 34 of them as dead, bringing the estimated number of living hostages to 63. Unbelievably, posters with pictures of the hostages are still being ripped down on college campuses. 

“I am not the same person I was before October 7th.”  

This phrase articulates how many Israelis and Diaspora Jews feel after October 7th.  Many experienced distress and pain that will plague them forever.  Some turned to Shabbat observance, like Ori and his wife who miraculously survived the Nova massacre. 

Other survivors vow to live their best lives to honor their friends whose lives were cut short. 

And the Jewish value of optimism still prevails. 

The phrase “we will dance again” became a mantra and is also a reflection of our Jewish values of hope and resilience.   

A 90-minute documentary film, “We Will Dance Again,”  was produced about the victims and survivors of the Nova Music Festival.  A special preview was screened in London on September 24th.   

The slogan “never again” was used by liberated prisoners at Buchenwald concentration camp to denounce fascism. The slogan was popularized by Jewish Defense League founder Rabbi Meir Kahana in his 1971 book, Never Again! in reference to the Holocaust. The Anti-Defamation League updated this saying to “Never is now” for the world’s largest summit against anti-Semitism and hate this past March.    

The Shoah Foundation is in the process of documenting the testimonies of survivors of October 7th.   

Community Support  

Jewish communities worldwide bolstered our brothers and sisters in Israel in many ways.  Significant financial donations have been made to vital organizations such as ZAKA, Magen David Adom, and United Hatzalah  by synagogues, individuals, and not-for- profits.   Hesed funds raise money for widows and children of fallen soldiers, for displaced Israeli families, and for army boots and other essential equipment.  Israeli farmers and companies also need our help. 

Community member, Victor Cohen, beautifully conveys our community’s meaningful response to October 7th.  Our community has helped the soldiers and citizens of Israel emotionally, spiritually, and financially.  

Victor noted, “We have been seeking to deepen our connection to the land and to the people of Israel. We pray for the welfare of our brothers and sisters, send financial aid, and organize shipments of supplies. One of the most crucial activities we have done, though, is to go to Israel ourselves.”  Several Jersey Shore solidarity missions headed to Israel in the wake of October 7th.  The groups packed food boxes, visited the Gaza envelope where the attacks took place, including going to the Nova Festival site and nearby kibbutzim. They visited injured soldiers, Hostage Square in Tel Aviv, and much more. No one was left unaffected by what they saw, and from their conversations with Israelis they met.  

Last December, ten community members, including Rabbi David Ozeri and Rabbi David Sutton, traveled to Israel to show their support. They visited leading rabbis in Yerushalayim to provide hizuk and to deliver financial assistance for their yeshivot.  Jack E. Rahmey wrote, “While the IDF employs military force against our enemies, we believe that learning Torah and praying to Hashem are potent weapons, as well. Unity as a nation ensures the presence of Hashem and guarantees our survival.”  Their trip also included hesed, visiting the hostages’ families and injured soldiers, seeing the charred remains of kibbutz homes, dancing with soldiers up North, and giving tzedakah to yeshivot in Bnai Brak and other parts of Israel. 

There were community gatherings, online events including virtual tours of Israel, readings, and other commemorations held to honor the victims and learn about the lessons of October 7th.  

  • At some events people stood in silence while the names of those who were killed were read, including IDF soldiers and hostages.  
  • Films were screened that depicted the story of the hostages and their families. 
  • Many participated in mitzvot such as learning Torah and doing hesed. Many individuals took  on a new mitzvah. 
  • Art projects were conducted, such as drawing the red anemone, Israel’s national flower, as a symbol of unity.  
  • A global Simchat Torah project was initiated to honor those who were lost on October 7th by adorning Torah scrolls with special covers.  
  • A virtual tour of an exhibition at the Anu [from the Hebrew word for “we” or “us”] Museum of the Jewish People at the Tel Aviv University that examines how Israeli culture has reacted to the war.  
  • The Lookstein Center at Bar-Ilan University created educational resources to help students worldwide to meaningfully remember the October 7th events.  

What You Can Do 

Keep praying for the speedy return of our hostages and the protection of our soldiers, members of the security forces, and search and rescue teams. Pray for the Jews in Israel and for the refuah sheleima of our holim

Join a WhatsApp Tehillim group.  Join Partners in Protection to be matched up with a partner for learning Torah. The commitment is to learn together for just ten minutes a week, learning in the merit of a specific soldier (partnersinprotection.org/iotg). 

Take on a new mitzvah.  

Donate to organizations in Israel.   

Volunteer locally or in Israel.  Raise funds for Israel in your shul or for an organization. Recognize that Israeli soldiers are not just fighting for Israel but for Jews around the world.  Go on a mission to Israel, volunteer on a kibbutz, or other place with a labor shortage, such as farms or school. 

Attend solidarity rallies. 

To strengthen our college students, the Israel Campus Coalition inspires U.S. college students to see Israel as a source of pride and empowers them to stand up for Israel on campus.   

Advocate for Israel by writing to your government representatives using easy-to-use templates.  

Be united and be there for each other and find comfort in your family and community.  

Ellen Geller Kamaras, CPA/MBA, is an International Coach Federation (ICF) Associate Certified Coach.  Her coaching specialties include life, career, and dating coaching.  Ellen is active in her community and is currently the Acting President of Congregation Bnai Avraham in Brooklyn Heights.  She can be contacted at ellen@lifecoachellen.com (www.lifecoachellen.com). 

The Living Lamppost

Tuvia Cohen 

Come, we are going to visit a small Jewish village in rural Russia. Hop into the time machine, and back we travel to the last century.  

Warily, you step out of the machine and look around. The short winter day draws to a close, and the early dusk envelops the brown street with its huddled low-built wooden houses. Nighttime falls, and the whole village descends into darkness. Here and there a pool of light from an oil lamp spills into the street, but otherwise, there is not a glimmer.  

Gingerly you walk, not knowing where you are going, your feet slipping and unsure in the grooved path. As night deepens, the blackness intensifies, and you wonder how the inhabitants manage to get about.  

The answer is that they don’t. The blackness of the night imprisons everyone in their homes. Not a gas lamp, not a glimmer or a spark to break the barrier of blackness. Suddenly you feel a great wave of yearning – a longing to be back in a society that is illuminated and bright, where electricity brightens your night and guarantees your freedom of movement. It’s time to come back to today, to the age of brightness.  

What could be more modern than streetlamps? If you can remember the lamplighter who went around with his ladder to “windup” the gas lamps, tell nobody your age! Today, no one winds up, no one sets a time switch, and no one pours in the oil. At dusk and dawn, millions of streetlights turn themselves on and off with no human intervention at all. Do you know how it works? With a pecu!  

What’s a PECU? 

“Pecu” is the acronym for a photo electric control unit, which operates a switch in the electrical supply to the lights. There, up above, on the streetlamp, lies a photocell. The photocell contains a compound which is sensitive to light. As dawn rises, light falling on the photocell causes electrons to flow from one atom to the other, conducting electricity to the switch and turning it off. At the other end of the day, as darkness falls, the electrons in the compound become immobile, the current stops, and the lights are turned on. Brilliant! No matter how early darkness falls, the lights will faithfully switch on, thanks to the advanced technology of our modern times. As far as street lighting is concerned, the “good old days” were not so good. 

Shh! I hear someone laughing. Shh! I hear it again. Who is it? A leaf! Why are you laughing, what are you saying? I don’t believe it! The leaf is saying that its technology is so complex that it makes our most modern streetlamps appear primitive in comparison. Could you explain? 

The Trees’ Bedtime 

The autumn season is often called “fall,” and the reason is obvious. When the days become shorter and the temperature begins to drop, millions of trees shed their leaves. The falling of the leaves of the deciduous trees (trees that lose their leaves in autumn, forming new ones in spring) gives the season its distinctive name. It is a spectacular process. The leaves of these trees turn a brilliant red and gold, providing a festival of color that has become a major tourist attraction in many parts of America. Beautiful it certainly is.  

But what makes the leaves fall from the tree? How is it that the twigs do not descend with the leaves? And why don’t evergreen trees see the need to drop their leaves like other trees do?  

And then we come to the most enigmatic question of all. How do the trees know when it is time to dispense with their leaves? What is the timing device, the pecu, that triggers the mechanism and starts the process? Prepare to hear some answers that will amaze you. 

Colorful Farwell  

First the “why,” and then the “how.” The enormous surface area of leaves on a deciduous tree converts sunshine into energy. They also draw water from the roots (by a brilliant process called osmosis). A great deal of water evaporates into the atmosphere from the leaves, which is fine as long as the supply of water in the soil is plentiful. In winter, however, the ground freezes, and the roots cannot take up water from the soil.  

A plant whose roots are in frozen soil is as short of water as a plant in a dry desert. The last thing that the tree needs is a drain of water through evaporation via the leaves, with no replenishment through the roots. Dropping the leaves in autumn enables the tree to survive the winter. And thus, as winter sets in, the tree becomes dormant. It simply goes to sleep. Good night, tree! 

The Great Leaf Exodus 

How, though, does the leaf actually fall off? At a given signal, special cells begin to grow across the leafstalk at the point where it is attached to the twig. This creates an area of weakness across the base of the leafstalk from the outside inwards.  

The natural “glue” by which the packing cells are normally stuck together dissolves. The biochemical processes that normally take place within the leaf stop, and the chlorophyll that gives the leaf its distinctive green color breaks down and disappears, leaving the other pigments of yellow and orange that were there all the time. Eventually, only the veins are running through, and the leaf loosens.  

But before it falls off, something incredible happens. The leaf contains many desirable minerals. Before dropping to the ground, the leaf transfers those minerals into the tree, where they are stored for the new generation of leaves, due to arrive in the spring. At the same time, the tree contains many undesirable toxins that it does not require or want. These toxins are shunted to the leaves prior to their downfall, giving the tree the perfect process of elimination! So much wisdom in a “simple” leaf!  

Will the departure of the leaf leave an open abrasion on the twig? Not at all. As the leaf loosens, a layer of cork develops under the area of weakness, effectively sealing the injury. The demonstrations of intelligence stagger the imagination! 

The Primitive Streetlamp 

But how does the tree know when to begin all these many complex processes? Who whispers into its bark that autumn is approaching? Hundreds of millions of dollars have been spent on trying to answer this question, so far without complete success. It is simply too complex!  

There are, however, certain things that we do know. Every leaf – whether on a plant or on a tree – contains a chemical called phytochrome. This chemical is sensitive to light, and is crucial in activating the numerous processes that occur within the plant. Every species makes a slightly different use of the chemical messages that it receives from its phytochrome.  

The experts suspect that the phytochrome in the leaves of the tree, being the photosensitive cells of the tree, react to the lessening of light as the days shorten, and it is their chemical message that triggers the mechanism that results in the dropping of the leaves. Indeed, it has been discovered that trees that stand next to lampposts retain their leaves for longer periods than trees of the same species that stand away from the extra source of light.  

The Wise Old Tree 

So there you have it. We walk along the street and consider our lampposts the last word in sophisticated technology. There they stand proudly, the result of decades of research and scientific development. They even have photosensitive cells. Well may the humble tree laugh. It has been endowed with these sophisticated skills since its creation, and much more! To quote the words of one expert botanist, “Placed next to a tree, the streetlamp appears primitive, almost naive, by comparison!” 

But there’s more. As autumn approaches, our humble tree produces a special gaseous hormone called ethylene, which, in its complex chemical way, breaks down starches and produces sugars, encourages leaf-drop, and enhances the cork layer which forms at the base of the leaf. And you thought leaves falling in autumn happened by itself – just pretty colors!  

Evergreen Enigma: Why Some Trees Keep Their Leaves 

How do the evergreens manage? They have small, thick-skinned leaves, whose relatively small surface area prevents significant loss of moisture, and which are designed with a waxy upper surface that locks the moisture in. Furthermore, the pressure with which the pine tree draws up its water by the process of osmosis (called the osmotic pressure) is higher than that of an oak tree. This has the effect of lowering the freezing point, so that when the oak tree is already forming ice crystals in its sap (which are obviously harmful, thus necessitating the elimination of the leaves to prevent osmosis), the pine, at the same temperature, because of the increased pressure, does not form any ice crystals. Therefore, pine leaves, you can stay on!  

Who gave the pine all this knowledge – knowledge so advanced and complex that not even the human brain can fathom it all, but knowledge so vital that without it the tree could not have survived until now? Here they are, in their millions, living testimony to the wisdom of their Designer and Creator.