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Ask Jido – November 2024

Dear Jido, 

I have an old friend who seems to consider herself very well-mannered. She writes her thank-you notes on cards and mails them, while I send my thank-you messages via email.  

When I tell her she doesn’t need to send a handwritten thank-you, she says, “My mother taught me to always do it that way.” Of course, that makes me feel “less than” for my emailed thanks. 

When she comes to visit me, she always brings a hostess gift. It’s very thoughtful, although it’s usually something I can’t use. I appreciate the gesture, though. 

She knows that my guest bedroom and bathroom are stocked for the use and comfort of my guests. Yet, when she takes a shower, she only uses the hand towel to dry herself. She uses a bath towel at home. 

I assume she feels it is somehow more polite to not soil a bath towel, but to make do with a hand towel. I don’t say anything about it, but it feels like an insult to me. I am trying to provide everything to make a guest feel at home. How should I handle this? 

Signed, 

Puzzled 

Dear Puzzled, 

Not to get too Biblical on you, but the Talmud actually speaks about someone who is very “particular” about their ways and habits. 

If it was only one idiosyncrasy that she had about not dirtying a bath towel, you might take it personally. But since she seems to have a series of habits that appear to you to be over the top, you can assume that she is what the rabbis in the Talmud call “delicate.”  There, it says that they even make “minor” accommodations for that type of person and allow a deviation from certain laws. 

There doesn’t seem to be any intent on her part to slight or embarrass you. I would assume that she is a very special person holding on to long-held habits and is to be admired. Invite her often and enjoy her company. 

All the best, 

Jido 

The Living Lamppost

Tuvia Cohen 

Come, we are going to visit a small Jewish village in rural Russia. Hop into the time machine, and back we travel to the last century.  

Warily, you step out of the machine and look around. The short winter day draws to a close, and the early dusk envelops the brown street with its huddled low-built wooden houses. Nighttime falls, and the whole village descends into darkness. Here and there a pool of light from an oil lamp spills into the street, but otherwise, there is not a glimmer.  

Gingerly you walk, not knowing where you are going, your feet slipping and unsure in the grooved path. As night deepens, the blackness intensifies, and you wonder how the inhabitants manage to get about.  

The answer is that they don’t. The blackness of the night imprisons everyone in their homes. Not a gas lamp, not a glimmer or a spark to break the barrier of blackness. Suddenly you feel a great wave of yearning – a longing to be back in a society that is illuminated and bright, where electricity brightens your night and guarantees your freedom of movement. It’s time to come back to today, to the age of brightness.  

What could be more modern than streetlamps? If you can remember the lamplighter who went around with his ladder to “windup” the gas lamps, tell nobody your age! Today, no one winds up, no one sets a time switch, and no one pours in the oil. At dusk and dawn, millions of streetlights turn themselves on and off with no human intervention at all. Do you know how it works? With a pecu!  

What’s a PECU? 

“Pecu” is the acronym for a photo electric control unit, which operates a switch in the electrical supply to the lights. There, up above, on the streetlamp, lies a photocell. The photocell contains a compound which is sensitive to light. As dawn rises, light falling on the photocell causes electrons to flow from one atom to the other, conducting electricity to the switch and turning it off. At the other end of the day, as darkness falls, the electrons in the compound become immobile, the current stops, and the lights are turned on. Brilliant! No matter how early darkness falls, the lights will faithfully switch on, thanks to the advanced technology of our modern times. As far as street lighting is concerned, the “good old days” were not so good. 

Shh! I hear someone laughing. Shh! I hear it again. Who is it? A leaf! Why are you laughing, what are you saying? I don’t believe it! The leaf is saying that its technology is so complex that it makes our most modern streetlamps appear primitive in comparison. Could you explain? 

The Trees’ Bedtime 

The autumn season is often called “fall,” and the reason is obvious. When the days become shorter and the temperature begins to drop, millions of trees shed their leaves. The falling of the leaves of the deciduous trees (trees that lose their leaves in autumn, forming new ones in spring) gives the season its distinctive name. It is a spectacular process. The leaves of these trees turn a brilliant red and gold, providing a festival of color that has become a major tourist attraction in many parts of America. Beautiful it certainly is.  

But what makes the leaves fall from the tree? How is it that the twigs do not descend with the leaves? And why don’t evergreen trees see the need to drop their leaves like other trees do?  

And then we come to the most enigmatic question of all. How do the trees know when it is time to dispense with their leaves? What is the timing device, the pecu, that triggers the mechanism and starts the process? Prepare to hear some answers that will amaze you. 

Colorful Farwell  

First the “why,” and then the “how.” The enormous surface area of leaves on a deciduous tree converts sunshine into energy. They also draw water from the roots (by a brilliant process called osmosis). A great deal of water evaporates into the atmosphere from the leaves, which is fine as long as the supply of water in the soil is plentiful. In winter, however, the ground freezes, and the roots cannot take up water from the soil.  

A plant whose roots are in frozen soil is as short of water as a plant in a dry desert. The last thing that the tree needs is a drain of water through evaporation via the leaves, with no replenishment through the roots. Dropping the leaves in autumn enables the tree to survive the winter. And thus, as winter sets in, the tree becomes dormant. It simply goes to sleep. Good night, tree! 

The Great Leaf Exodus 

How, though, does the leaf actually fall off? At a given signal, special cells begin to grow across the leafstalk at the point where it is attached to the twig. This creates an area of weakness across the base of the leafstalk from the outside inwards.  

The natural “glue” by which the packing cells are normally stuck together dissolves. The biochemical processes that normally take place within the leaf stop, and the chlorophyll that gives the leaf its distinctive green color breaks down and disappears, leaving the other pigments of yellow and orange that were there all the time. Eventually, only the veins are running through, and the leaf loosens.  

But before it falls off, something incredible happens. The leaf contains many desirable minerals. Before dropping to the ground, the leaf transfers those minerals into the tree, where they are stored for the new generation of leaves, due to arrive in the spring. At the same time, the tree contains many undesirable toxins that it does not require or want. These toxins are shunted to the leaves prior to their downfall, giving the tree the perfect process of elimination! So much wisdom in a “simple” leaf!  

Will the departure of the leaf leave an open abrasion on the twig? Not at all. As the leaf loosens, a layer of cork develops under the area of weakness, effectively sealing the injury. The demonstrations of intelligence stagger the imagination! 

The Primitive Streetlamp 

But how does the tree know when to begin all these many complex processes? Who whispers into its bark that autumn is approaching? Hundreds of millions of dollars have been spent on trying to answer this question, so far without complete success. It is simply too complex!  

There are, however, certain things that we do know. Every leaf – whether on a plant or on a tree – contains a chemical called phytochrome. This chemical is sensitive to light, and is crucial in activating the numerous processes that occur within the plant. Every species makes a slightly different use of the chemical messages that it receives from its phytochrome.  

The experts suspect that the phytochrome in the leaves of the tree, being the photosensitive cells of the tree, react to the lessening of light as the days shorten, and it is their chemical message that triggers the mechanism that results in the dropping of the leaves. Indeed, it has been discovered that trees that stand next to lampposts retain their leaves for longer periods than trees of the same species that stand away from the extra source of light.  

The Wise Old Tree 

So there you have it. We walk along the street and consider our lampposts the last word in sophisticated technology. There they stand proudly, the result of decades of research and scientific development. They even have photosensitive cells. Well may the humble tree laugh. It has been endowed with these sophisticated skills since its creation, and much more! To quote the words of one expert botanist, “Placed next to a tree, the streetlamp appears primitive, almost naive, by comparison!” 

But there’s more. As autumn approaches, our humble tree produces a special gaseous hormone called ethylene, which, in its complex chemical way, breaks down starches and produces sugars, encourages leaf-drop, and enhances the cork layer which forms at the base of the leaf. And you thought leaves falling in autumn happened by itself – just pretty colors!  

Evergreen Enigma: Why Some Trees Keep Their Leaves 

How do the evergreens manage? They have small, thick-skinned leaves, whose relatively small surface area prevents significant loss of moisture, and which are designed with a waxy upper surface that locks the moisture in. Furthermore, the pressure with which the pine tree draws up its water by the process of osmosis (called the osmotic pressure) is higher than that of an oak tree. This has the effect of lowering the freezing point, so that when the oak tree is already forming ice crystals in its sap (which are obviously harmful, thus necessitating the elimination of the leaves to prevent osmosis), the pine, at the same temperature, because of the increased pressure, does not form any ice crystals. Therefore, pine leaves, you can stay on!  

Who gave the pine all this knowledge – knowledge so advanced and complex that not even the human brain can fathom it all, but knowledge so vital that without it the tree could not have survived until now? Here they are, in their millions, living testimony to the wisdom of their Designer and Creator. 

Mabrouk – November 2024

Births – Baby Boy 

Meyer & Grace Kassin 

Abe & Sarah Seruya 

Evan & Sara Terzi 

Victor & Lorraine Shalam 

Eddie & Juliette Setton 

Joe and Shirley Ash 

Micheal & Alexis Cohen 

Isaac & Natalie Bijou 

David & Grace Warren 

Max & Bridgette Zeevi 

Births – Baby Girl 

Mr. & Mrs. Joe Vandervelde 

Charles & Mollie Wahba 

Eddie & Helen Kassin 

Rachamim & Mazal Laniado 

Jack & Miriam Gindi 

Steve & Nina Safdieh 

Teddy & Rosette Betesh 

Ike & Sabrina Esses 

Rafe & Yvonne Tawil 

Ezra & Rachel Mansour 

Engagements 

Irwin Sutton to Frieda Cohen 

Selim Sabbagh to Molly Elo 

Ed Salameh to Stelly Swed 

Ike Betesh to Rivkah Cohen 

Weddings 

Albert Zeitoune to Bella Sakal 

Fred Salem to Barbara Melamed 

Sam Torqueman to Allie Hakim 

Embodiment of the Mirrer Legacy

Honoring Rabbi Hanania Abisror, Recipient of the Mirrer Yeshiva’s  

Rabbi Shraga Moshe Kalmanowitz Award 

Victor Cohen 

The Mirrer Yeshiva is one of the oldest and most distinguished institutions in our community. First and foremost, of course, the yeshiva is renowned for its outstanding standards of Torah learning. It is famous as well for producing towering religious leaders, such as Rabbi Dovid Choueka and Rabbi Abraham Shabot of Mexico, Rabbi Shumel Choueka of Ohel Simha (Park Avenue Synagogue), Rabbi Asher Hachuel of Ateret Torah, Rabbi Hillel Haber of Shaarei Torah, Rabbi David Ozeri and Rabbi David Sutton of Yad Yosef, Rabbi Jackie Kassin (son of Rabbi Shaul Kassin, zt”l), Rabbi Yaakov Ben Haim of Shaarei Zion, and Rabbi Eliyahu Ben Haim (both sons of Hacham Baruch Ben Haim). In addition, the Mirrer Yeshiva is known for championing, embodying and disseminating the timeless values of kindness, caring for others, and humility.  

This December, the Mirrer Yeshiva will be presenting the prestigious Rabbi Shraga Moshe Kalmanowitz Award to Rabbi Hanania Abisror, in recognition of his immense contributions to the Jewish world. 

Rabbi Abisror is a staff-member of the Edmond J. Safra Synagogue in Aventura, Florida, a synagogue which serves those who seasonally visit Florida from our community. The congregation’s website describes how Rabbi Abisror “has been essential in helping the community maintain its Torah values and traditions for many years.” He also runs the synagogue’s highly successful netz (sunrise) minyan

To learn more about the history of the Mirrer Yeshiva, I spoke with Rabbi Pinchos Hecht, the yeshiva’s Executive Director. I was privileged also to speak with Rabbi Abisror in order to learn more about his story and how the Mirrer Yeshiva impacted his life. 

The Rescue of Sephardic Jews From Arab Lands 

The Mirrer Yeshiva has a storied history – from its glorious years in Europe, through its dramatic escape during the Holocaust to Japan and Shanghai, until finally landing and reconstituting as two branches – one in Jerusalem, and another in Brooklyn, finding a place in our community in our early days.  

The yeshiva here in Brooklyn took in students from all over the world during the 1950s and 60’s, when many Jewish communities around the world faced persecution, particularly in Middle Eastern countries such as Syria, Egypt and Morocco. Rabbi Avraham Kalmanowitz, zt”l (1887-1964), Rosh Yeshiva and Dean of the Mirrer Yeshiva, partnered with Mr. Isaac Shalom to heroically rescue as many Jews from these lands as possible. He lobbied and petitioned the U.S. government to afford these Jews refugee status, and succeeded in bringing as many as 4,000 families out of places like Egypt and Morocco. The Rosh Yeshiva corresponded with members of the Senate Judiciary committee, doing everything he could to help rescue more families. In one letter, Senator Kenneth B. Keating wrote to the rabbi:  

“Thank you for your recent letter… with regard to the persecution of eight Jews trying to escape from the United Arab Republic. 

“I fully sympathize with your position in this manner. I have been in touch with the White House and the Department of State and have been advised that the United States is following the situation very closely. I understand that you will be hearing directly from the Department of State very shortly.” 

Among the photos appearing alongside this article are letters which Rabbi Kalmanowitz and his son, Rabbi Shraga Moshe Kalmanowitz – who taught in the yeshiva and later succeeded his father as Rosh Yeshiva – wrote or received from members of the government. Their advocacy efforts had a profound impact, saving countless lives from persecution or death.  

One of those lives saved by the Rosh Yeshiva was that of a young man named Hanania Abisror, who was brought to the Mirrer Yeshiva from Morocco in 1966 by Rabbi David Bitton, an alumnus of the yeshiva who became principal of Magen David. Rabbi Abisror recalls how, as a newcomer, he feared that his learning skills fell far short of those of the yeshiva’s Ashkenazic students. Rabbi Shraga Moshe Kalmanowitz encouraged him by assuring, “The best students in my yeshiva are three Moroccan boys: Shalom Revach, Baruch Harrar, and Haim Kessous!” 

Rabbi Shraga Moshe Kalmanowitz, and by extension, the Mirrer Yeshiva, functioned as an anchor for many families who came to the United States to escape oppression in Arab countries. Many of the students it brought from these lands went on to assume important positions in education and religious leadership. It is thus no exaggeration to say that Rabbi Kalmanowitz had a transformative impact upon our community, producing some of the most influential figures that built the community’s spiritual foundations. 

Appropriately, Rabbi Shraga Moshe was succeeded by his son, Rabbi Osher Kalmanowitz, who continues the treasured legacy of his father and grandfather, educating students to follow the path of Torah, of loving kindness, and of selfless concern for, and boundless generosity toward, other people. 

The Rabbi Shraga Moshe Kalmanowitz Award recognizes those whose lives embody these ideals of fervent devotion to Torah and to the Jewish Nation, who exemplify through their life’s work the values and achievements of Rabbi Kalmanowitz. 

“You See the Holiness” 

Rabbi Abisror – this year’s worthy recipient of the award – was born in 1951 in Marrakech, Morocco. His name, Abisror, according to his father and grandparents, alludes to his family’s descending from Mordechai, the Jewish leader at the time of the Purim story. 

At the age of ten, Hanania, together with his brother, enrolled in Yeshivat Or Yosef in France, where he studied under the tutelage of Rav Gershon Liebman, who had himself studied under the famed Rosh Yeshiva Rabbi Avraham Jofen (1887-1970).  

Rabbi Abisror’s memories of his yeshiva years are remarkably clear and detailed. One story he shared was about the time Rabbi Jofen came to Or Yosef to give a blessing to the students.  

“I thought he was an angel,” Rabbi Abisror recalled.  

Rabbi Jofen was a disciple and son-in-law of Rabbi Yosef Yozel Horowitz, the legendary “Alter of Novardok (1847-1919), author of the classic mussar work, Madregat Ha’adam. Rabbi Horowtiz was one of the most famous students of Rabbi Yisrael Salanter (1809-1883), founder of the mussar movement. 

Rabbi Abisror returned to Morocco for his bar-mitzvah, and spent a year learning in Yeshivat Etz Chaim in the Moroccan town of Tangiers. Reflecting on his time in Etz Chaim, Rabbi Abisror expressed his gratitude to the Reichmann family who nurtured and supported this yeshiva.  In September of 1966, Rabbi David Bitton was sent to bring Moroccan boys to the Mirrer Yeshiva. He selected 20 boys, one of whom was Hanania Abisror. How meaningful it is that the award commemorating Rabbi Kalmanowitz is now being granted to someone whom he helped bring into our community. 

The Mirrer Yeshiva was very kind to young Hanania, making a deep impression upon him. He related that he once broke his arm, and instead of being left to fend for himself, or forced to ask his friends to help, he was personally assisted by the Rosh Yeshiva, who washed his hands for netilat yadayim, and put his tefillin on for him.  

“He could’ve had someone else do it,” Rabbi Abisror noted, “but you see the holiness… the kedushah… They were so humble.” 

A Life of Giving 

This personal example helped mold Rabbi Abisror’s character. Rabbi Hecht observed that “the personal touch is lacking in today’s world,” but “Rabbi Abisror has that warmth and caring, like he was from a previous generation.” 

Rabbi Abisror spent eight years in the Mirrer Yeshiva, from 1966-1974.  

“Yeshiva life meant a lot to me,” he said. “The education kept us going.” 

He spoke fondly and appreciatively of the many rabbis under whom he studied in the yeshiva: Rabbi Dovid Kviat, Rabbi Elya Jurkansky, Rabbi Shraga Moshe Kalmanowitz, Rabbi Shmuel Berenbaum, and Rabbi Shmuel Brudny.  

 “I envision them all the time,” he said. “They handled themselves in just a humble way.” 

Understandably, Rabbi Abisror spoke with overflowing joy and pride about his grandson and great-nephew who currently study in the Mirrer Yeshiva, following his footsteps. He continues to maintain a close relationship with the current Rosh Yeshiva, Rabbi Osher Kalmanowitz, as well as with Rabbi Eli Brudny and Rabbi Asher Berenbaum, two other luminaries who teach in the yeshiva.  

Rabbi Abisror pointed to humility as the key value which the Mirrer Yeshiva strove to inculcate within its students. Additionally, the education that he received placed great emphasis on the importance of feeling genuine love and concern for other people. He described how the Mirrer Yeshiva loved and cared for him, and danced with him at his wedding. In fact, he added, the Rosh Yeshiva’s own children were the ones who, in his words, “made it such a special event.” 

The values that Rabbi Abisror imbibed from the Mirrer Yeshiva became part of the very fabric of his being, and have remained so throughout his life.  

“Rabbi Abisror serves as a role model to others on how to lead a life of giving,” Rabbi Hecht explained. He said that in his many classes, Rabbi Abisror inspires his students to strive towards those same ideals he was taught many years ago, both during his time in the yeshiva, and through his experiences earlier in life. 

Rabbi Shraga Moshe Kalmanowitz spent his life giving, enriching people’s lives with Torah, and providing them with light when the world around them was dark. Rabbi Hanania Abisror is but one of the countless beneficiaries of this light, and he has, in turn, devoted his life to doing the same for others. 

Alongside his deep feelings of gratitude to Hashem and to the Mirrer Yeshiva for all he has received, Rabbi Abisror also expressed his hope that our community will generously assist the yeshiva to continue its vital work.  Today, the Mirrer Yeshiva continues to host Sephardic students from France, who represent the future of our community’s religious leadership.  With Hashem’s help, and with the help of our community’s donors, the yeshiva will continue to flourish and succeed in its mission in strengthen the foundations of Torah both here in Brooklyn and throughout the Jewish world. 

Medical Halacha – Using Doves to Cure Jaundice

Rabbi Yehuda Finchas 

Sara gave birth to a beautiful healthy baby boy. She was excited that her brother Yosef, a mohel, arranged to fly in from Israel to New York and had agreed to perform the brit mila for his new little nephew. Yosef arrived the day before the brit mila was to take place.  

He looked at the baby and shook his head. “Sara, Mabrouk! But the baby is yellow and I cannot perform the brit mila unless the color clears up by tomorrow.” Sara responded, “But the baby is healthy!” She called her doctor to confirm that the baby was, indeed, perfectly healthy. Dr. Walter Smith had checked the baby and reiterated that  he was, indeed, perfectly healthy.  

When Yosef told Dr. Smith that it was possible to treat jaundice with doves, the doctor was incredulous. “Using doves to heal jaundice?!” he responded. “Is there scientific evidence to support this?!”  

According to Jewish tradition, the “pigeon treatment” has been employed successfully for generations. 

When a Baby Is “Yarok” 

Physiological jaundice in a newborn is not usually considered a medical risk even if the baby has a yellowish appearance. However, the Gemara (Shabbat 134a) notes that a sick child should not undergo a brit mila until he recovers and this includes if a baby is “yarok,” meaning he has a greenish or yellowish appearance. Such a baby should not have a brit mila until he loses the “yarok” complexion. Even though there may not be any medical reason to delay the brit mila, the Rambam (Mila 1:17) and Shulchan Aruch (YD 263:1) rule that one may not perform a brit mila on a baby who is “yarok.” 

The Dove Treatment  

Hacham Ovadia, zt”l, has a responsa (Yabia Omer YD, 9:32) discussing the halachic implications of the healing power of doves in treating jaundice. He quotes a segula from Taamei Haminhagim, where the treatment for curing jaundice (often seen in hepatitis patients) is to place a male pigeon on the navel of a male, or a female pigeon on the navel of a female. Hacham Ovadia, also notes anecdotal evidence of cases in which the pigeon dies and the patient is healed. The claim is that the pigeon draws the jaundice out from the patient, thus eliminating the jaundice. Dr. Walter saw no medical need or benefit to do this ancient “treatment” and even claimed that it should qualify as animal cruelty. 

Hacham Ovadia acknowledges that the doctors question this form of intervention and understands that it may not cure all patients from jaundice. However, Hacham Ovadia recognizes that many patients have been cured this way. 

Rulings of Hacham Ovadia and the Rambam  

Hacham Ovadia further explains that in this instance there is no concern of animal cruelty – tzaar baalei haim, even though this procedure causes the death of the doves. While there are many sources that argue that tzaar baalei haim is a Biblical prohibition according to most poskim, this prohibition is waived when the action is necessary for human benefit. In other words, tzaar baalei haim does not apply when there is human gain. Hacham Ovadia applies this concept to using doves as a segula for health reasons, even if there is no scientific explanation for the phenomena. 

In a different responsa, Hacham Ovadia (Yabia Omer OC, 8:37) discusses using a segula as a treatment for an illness that involves hilul Shabbat. When quoting different opinions among the poskim whether this is permitted, he elaborates on the Rambam’s position. In his Pirush Hamishna (Yuma 8:6), the Rambam explains that you may not use a segula that involves a prohibition unless it is has a proven medical efficacy. In Moreh Nevuchim (3:37) the Rambam explains that the we do find Hazal using segulot that cannot be explained scientifically, but as long as experience demonstrates their efficacy, they may still be used. Therefore, even though using doves to treat jaundice qualifies as segula without scientific basis, Hacham Ovadia writes that it works and it is permissible to use this treatment.  

Hacham Ovadia is confident that regardless of the Rambam’s position vis-à-vis segulot, the Rambam would still permit using doves to cure jaundice as he (the Rambam) rules that tzaar baalei haim is only a rabbinic prohibition and should be permissibly violated for human benefit. 

Conclusion 

In conclusion, a brit mila may not be performed on a baby who is “yarok.” But since there is no medical illness, the brit mila may be performed as soon as the baby loses his “yarok” complexion. The Rishon Lezion, Hacham Yitzhak Yosef, explains (Sova Semahot 2:16:3) that even though we must usually wait a full seven days for a baby to recover from an illness, since physiological jaundice is not considered a classic medical illness, one does not need to wait seven days in this instance. He also rules that it is permissible to use doves to try to cure the jaundice. 

Rabbi Yehuda Finchas is a worldwide expert, lecturer, and author on Medical Halacha. He heads the Torat Habayit Medical Halacha Institute. His latest book is “Brain Death in Halacha and the Tower of Babel Syndrome.” To contact Rabbi Finchas, email rabbi@torathabayit.com. 

Triumph Through Unity: A Look at How Our Community Has Stepped Up for Israel

Linda Sadacka 

Just over a year ago, Israel teetered on the edge of civil war, deeply divided over the judicial reform advanced by the government. The proposed changes to the method of appointing Israel’s Supreme Court, and the extent of its authority, ignited a firestorm that fractured Israeli society and sent shockwaves through Jewish communities worldwide. The unity that once bound us together seemed fragile, frayed by political discord; the solidarity that had once defined our people felt distant and almost out of reach. 

Then, on October 7, 2023, Israel faced its darkest day since the Holocaust. Nearly 1,200 innocent lives were brutally taken, and some 250 hostages were dragged into captivity. The grief was unbearable, and plunged our entire nation into deep mourning. But from this unimaginable tragedy, something extraordinary began to emerge. Jews from all corners of the globe came together in an unprecedented show of unity to support Israel’s military and civilian efforts. This response not only showed resilience, but signified a rekindling of our shared faith, our collective spirit, and our deep-seated connection to one another.  

Unity & Victory 

This newfound ahdut (unity) did more than strengthen us spiritually; it also led to tangible victories. A prime example is a meticulously executed military operation targeting Hezbollah. Thousands of pagers and walkie-talkies across Lebanon were detonated, killing 37 Hezbollah operatives and injuring over 3,000, effectively crippling their communication network. The assassination of Hassan Nasrallah, Hezbollah’s leader for over 32 years, marked a strategic turning point in Israel’s war against Hezbollah, which, backed by Iranian funding, has for decades posed a persistent threat to Israel, and has been launching rockets into northern Israel this entire past year. The dramatic assassination came amid the Israeli air force’s relentless bombing of Hezbollah ammunition depots, rocket launchers, and other assets, significantly weakening the terror organization’s capabilities. These achievements  are the result of not only the country’s outstanding military and intelligence apparatuses, but also our collective commitment to Torah, hesed (kindness), and unity.  

Supporting Our Troops 

While Israel’s courageous, selfless soldiers have fought valiantly on the front lines, Jewish communities in the Diaspora have rallied with remarkable determination. One notable effort was led by the Sephardic Heritage Museum, which played a critical role in supporting soldiers and those displaced by the conflict. Through their dedicated efforts, 270 family members were reunited, and essential supplies – such as food and warm clothing – were provided to those in need. Spearheaded by community leaders including Harry Adjmi, David Azar, Morris Missry, Tzvi Benchaim, Mark Adjmi, and Elliot Sutton, this work exemplified world Jewry’s generosity and mutual devotion. 

An inspiring example of the combination of Israeli resilience and our community’s generosity is Elad and Nava from the Drimia Winery, located in the town of Susiya in southern Judea. While Elad, an elite combat soldier, was deployed in Gaza, his wife, Nava, managed their farm and winery on her own. A number of our community leaders, including Daniel and Eileen Benun, rallied around them, organizing campaigns to support the winery, receiving an overwhelming response. Over 400 packages of Drimia wine were sold, with all proceeds going to support Elad and Nava during these trying times. This outpouring of support wasn’t just a gesture – it was a testament to the enduring unity of the Jewish people, both at home and on the front lines.  

Support for the military effort has come even from communities that traditionally don’t serve in the army. The haredi communities – both Hassidic and Lithuanian – have mobilized to aid their brothers fighting on the front lines. Massive amounts of food are being delivered daily to soldiers along the Gaza border, ensuring that the troops are well-fed and cared for. This extraordinary effort from the ultra-Orthodox community reflects the deep commitment to unity that transcends religious and ideological differences.  

While military and logistical support has been vital, another effort focuses on healing the emotional scars left by war. Maurice and Gail Setton, who are deeply involved with the Peace of Mind organization which helps IDF soldiers who experience trauma by providing therapy, have stepped up to meet the growing need, as a large number of soldiers struggle with the psychological effects of combat. The program culminates with a visit to a welcoming Diaspora community where soldiers receive intensive therapy, supported by host families. Eleven families in Deal, NJ, graciously welcomed soldiers into their homes, forming lasting bonds that continue long after the brief visit. The relationships forged through this initiative offer a lifetime of invaluable connection, healing, and support. 

Deepening Our Connection  

Community leaders such as Sammy Saka, Harry Adjmi, Jack Srour, Zvi Ben Haim, Isaac Massry, Jason Gindi, and Joey Sitt have also stepped forward, spearheading an initiative to develop a dedicated residential sector for our community in Jerusalem. In a time when deepening our connection to the land of Israel is more urgent than ever, this initiative represents a bold, forward-thinking approach to ensuring that the Jewish people remain united with their homeland, no matter what global challenges may arise. 

In yeshivot, such as Areret Torah, teachers and institutions have responded to the call for unity by mandating daily prayers for Israel. Students are led in heartfelt prayers beseeching Gd for the safety and success of our beloved IDF soldiers, and the return of our hostages. This collective act of faith, encouraged by educators, reverberates throughout Jewish communities around the world, uniting us in prayer for Israel’s safety, strength, and ultimate redemption.  

My own organization, Chasdei David, a registered 501(c)(3) powered entirely by volunteers, partnered with Rabbi Yitzchak David Grossman’s Migdal Ohr institution to distribute tefillin to IDF soldiers. Rabbi Grossman personally travels from base to base, providing warm meals and distributing “shaliach mitzvah” coins, encouraging soldiers to give charity after their service. His efforts have yielded miraculous results, with entire groups of soldiers surviving direct hits during battle in this merit. His work in Bikur Cholim, using a coin from the Lelover Rebbe, has also brought about open miracles, healing soldiers who had been given little hope. What stands out most is how many of these soldiers, who previously had little interest in Torah or mitzvot, now thirst for a spiritual connection. The horrors of October 7 sparked a deep desire within them to reconnect with their heritage and with Hashem. We stand ready to support their spiritual growth and help them strengthen their faith.  

The Jewish World Unites 

Of course, our communities are not the only ones who have opened their hearts to our brothers and sisters across the ocean. Throughout the Diaspora, Jewish groups have shown extraordinary solidarity. The MetroWest Israel Action Committee, led by Moshe Glick, organized a massive rally in Livingston, New Jersey, where over 6,000 people gathered to support Israel and demand the release of hostages held by Hamas. A towering nine-foot-tall milk carton displaying the faces of the hostages became a powerful symbol, turning the conversation from political discourse into a deeply emotional humanitarian plea: “Let Them Go.” Glick’s leadership helped refocus the narrative on what truly matters – bringing our people home.  

At Yeshiva University, events like the Evening of Unity, Solidarity, and Story were held, bringing together survivors, community leaders, and students to honor the memory of those lost on October 7. These gatherings provided both spiritual connection and practical aid, reinforcing the Jewish community’s resolve to stand by Israel in its time of need. 

In yet another extraordinary effort, Veronique from Great Neck led an initiative that has provided 650 meals daily for soldiers, hosted barbecues at the borders, donated tents serving as makeshift shuls and offices, and even sent cheesecakes for Shavuot and flowers for Shabbat. Veronique’s work is a shining example of the extraordinary lengths to which Jewish communities around the world have gone to support those on the front lines. 

Beyond these grassroots efforts, countless organizations and individuals have fought tirelessly to safeguard the truth of the October 7 massacre in the face of rampant misinformation. These advocates have been instrumental in ensuring that the voices of victims and hostages remain heard, and combating false narratives that seek to deny or downplay the atrocities committed on that day.  

What we are witnessing is not merely resilience, but a resurgence of national spirit rooted in unity. Whether we wear black hats, velvet kippot, shtreimels, or none at all, our strength as a people comes from standing together. This unity, transcending appearances and ideological differences, is the key to our success as a nation. As we move forward, this shared commitment to each other, our faith, and our homeland will guide us through these challenging times and lead us, please Gd, to our ultimate redemption. 

Linda Sadacka is a prominent political activist and community leader, renowned for her influential social media platform @lindaadvocate.

Positive Parenting – Creating Trust with Our Children 

Tammy Sassoon 

One of the most important principles for building strong, trusting relationships with our children is learning to be non-judgmental, even when our children make poor choices. If we want our children to cooperate with us, they need to feel that they can make mistakes without us thinking less of them. The reality is that we all respond better to people who maintain a positive opinion of us, even when we stumble. 

Case In Point  

Take, for instance, the recent case of a mother who came to me seeking advice about her sixth-grade daughter. Her daughter had been caught taking items from her classmates’ bags and desks. Understandably, the mother was furious and deeply concerned. In her mind, this behavior crossed a serious line, and she was struggling with how to be supportive without condoning her daughter’s wrong actions. 

When we face situations like these, disappointment can be a very understandable and natural reaction. It doesn’t mean that we should make a decision based on our emotions. I advised the mother to offer her daughter support, despite the temptation to express her fury. She was hesitant, afraid that showing support would somehow signal to her daughter that stealing was acceptable. However, I reassured her that her daughter already understood that stealing was wrong. In fact, her daughter likely felt an internal struggle and needed emotional support, not condemnation. 

The mother mustered up all her strength , and approached her daughter with empathy. She said, “You must have really felt empty inside, like you were missing something. I know the real you would never want to take things that belong to other people.” This simple yet powerful expression of love and understanding allowed her daughter to feel seen and supported, even in her low moment of wrongdoing. 

Compassionate Approach 

This compassionate approach laid the foundation for a productive conversation the next day. Once her daughter felt emotionally safe, she was open to discussing the issue of responsibility and the importance of returning the stolen objects. Instead of becoming defensive or resistant, the daughter was receptive to making changes. She realized that although she had made a mistake, it didn’t mean she was a bad person. This enabled her to face the consequences of her actions, but also to feel empowered to fix her mistakes and make a fresh start. 

If the mother had chosen to yell at or berate her daughter, the outcome likely would have been very different. Yelling may have caused the daughter to feel shame or to shut down emotionally, making it much harder for her to process the situation constructively. Instead, by approaching the problem with love, the mother created an environment where her daughter could take ownership of her actions without losing her self-esteem. This approach not only helped resolve the immediate issue but also fostered greater cooperation and trust between mother and daughter moving forward. 

Understanding and Patience 

In moments like these, it’s important to remember that our children are still learning. We pray that they should make good choices. Yet we know that they will also make mistakes, just like we did growing up. Our job as parents is to guide them through these missteps with understanding and patience, showing them that while their actions may have consequences, they are still worthy of love and respect. When children feel that they are not being judged harshly, they are more likely to listen, cooperate, and learn from their mistakes. 

Ultimately, offering unconditional support when our children are at their lowest points strengthens the bond we have with them. It also teaches them an invaluable lesson: making a mistake does not define who they are. With love and guidance, they can always choose to take responsibility, make amends, and move forward. This is how we help our children grow into resilient, compassionate, and responsible adults. 

This is how cooperation and growth happen – through love, support, and trust, especially when things go wrong.

Pros and Cons of Refinancing Your Home

Karen Behfar

Now that rates have dropped to around six percent, it might be a good time for those with higher interest rates to consider refinancing.  

Your home is an investment, and one way to maximize that investment is through refinancing. 

Refinancing your mortgage means replacing your current loan with a new one – typically with a new principal and a different interest rate. The new mortgage pays off the old one, leaving you with a single loan to manage. 

Refinancing can offer several benefits, such as lowering your interest costs or allowing you to cash out some of your home equity. However, like anything, there are also downsides. Let’s briefly explore what refinancing is, along with its pros, cons, and key details. 

Pros of Refinancing 

Lower Interest Rates + Monthly Payments: This is one of the most common reasons for refinancing. If your credit score has improved or rates are lower due to market conditions, refinancing can save you money. 

Eliminate Private Mortgage Insurance (PMI): PMI is required when you put down less than 20 percent on a conventional loan, adding hundreds to your monthly payments. If your home’s value has increased, refinancing could allow you to remove PMI by recalculating equity based on the new value. 

Adjust Loan Features: You can save money by switching to a shorter loan term or lower your payments by extending the term. 

Add or Remove a Co-Borrower: Refinancing allows flexibility in changing who is responsible for the loan. 

Cash Out Home Equity: This is useful if you want to pay off high-interest debts. You can take out a larger loan and pocket the difference between your old and new mortgage amounts. 

Cons of Refinancing 

Closing Costs: Refinancing usually comes with closing costs ranging from 2% to 6% of the new loan amount, so it’s essential to compare offers from different lenders. 

Impact on Credit Score: A refinance application triggers a hard credit inquiry, which may temporarily lower your credit score. This can remain on your report for two years. 

Longer Loan Term or Higher Debt: Extending your loan term, even with lower monthly payments, can lead to paying more in interest over time. If you take a larger loan for cash-out, your debt-to-income ratio may increase, making future borrowing more difficult. 

Ultimately, the decision to refinance depends on your potential savings. It’s crucial to identify which loan options you qualify for, and to understand the closing costs, interest rates, monthly payments, and repayment terms. Improving your credit score can help you secure the best deal, making refinancing not just an option, but a wise choice.

Words of Rabbi Eli J. Mansour – Seeing Only the Good

This month, we will once again read the remarkable story of akedat Yitzhak, the unimaginable test of faith which Avraham faced when Gd appeared to him and commanded him to do the unthinkable – to sacrifice his beloved son, Yitzhak, whom he had miraculously fathered at the age of 100.   

Compliance with this command required Avraham to not only overcome his natural feelings of love for his son, but also to act in opposite to the most basic foundations of ethical conduct, and common sense.  Avraham spent his life preaching morality and kindness, and was now expected to kill his own son without knowing why.  Moreover, Gd had previously promised that Yitzhak would produce a large nation, and He was now instructing that Yitzhak be killed before marrying and begetting children.  Avraham nevertheless complied, immediately setting out with Yitzhak to Mount Moriah – the future site of the Bet Hamikdash – to offer him as a sacrifice.  Just as he took hold of the knife, Gd called to him and told him to desist, explaining that He was testing his faith, and did not actually want Yitzhak to be sacrificed. 

The importance of this event to us, Avraham’s descendants, is evidenced by the inclusion of this section of the Torah in our daily prayers, as part of the introduction to shaharit each morning.  Additionally, akedat Yitzhak features prominently in our prayers on the Yamim Noraim (High Holidays) as we beseech Gd for forgiveness and a favorable judgment.  In fact, this story is the Torah reading on the second day of Rosh Hashanah.  And, one of the explanations given for the symbolism of the shofar is that it commemorates the ram which Avraham sacrificed on the altar in Yitzhak’s place. 

There is so much about this story to study, analyze, and learn from, and each year, when Parashat Vayera comes around, I find myself drawn to this subject despite the many other fascinating and important topics found in this parashah.  Here, however, I would like to focus on one verse toward end of the story of the akedah which I feel is often neglected, but that, as we will see, may shed light on one of the most critically important consequences of this extraordinary display of self-sacrifice. 

“Gd Shall See” 

After Avraham sacrificed the ram, he declared that the site of this sacrifice should be named “Hashem yireh” – literally, “Gd shall see” (Beresheet 22:14).  What did Avraham want Gd to “see”? 

Rashi brings two interpretations.  The first, which Rashi cites from Onkelos’ Aramaic translation, is that Avraham refers to the designation of this site as the location of the Bet Hamikdash.  Avraham prophetically foresaw that Gd would choose the place of this altar, upon which Yitzhak was bound, as the site where His presence would reside and where his descendants would offer sacrifices. 

Secondly, as Rashi brings from the Midrash, Avraham here prayed that Gd should see this act of self-sacrifice, and invoke this merit of behalf of his descendants.  When the Jewish People would sin and be worthy of harsh punishment, Gd should see this altar and Avraham’s willingness to sacrifice that which was most precious to him, and in this merit, He should forgive the nation and save them. 

Yet, a third explanation is given by the Gaon of Vilna (Rav Eliyahu of Vilna, 1720-1797).  He writes that when Gd first created Adam and Havah, He resided with them, as it were, in Gan Eden.  As a result of their sin, however, He drove them from Gan Eden, distancing them from Him.  And then, as mankind continued to sin, Gd withdrew further and further.  The process  of the return of the Shechinah (divine presence) to earth began with Avraham, and reached its culmination at Mount Sinai, when Gd actually descended onto the mountain and appeared to Beneh Yisrael.  Avraham thus declared at the time of akedat Yitzhak that “Gd shall see” – Gd was now drawing closer to the world and to mankind, such that He could be said to “see” them.  At the time of the Revelation at Sinai, Gd was so close that He not only “saw,” but was also clearly seen by the people.  And thus, after the Torah tells us that Avraham declared “Hashem yireh” (“Gd shall see”), it adds, “that it is said today: Gd shall be seen.”  This means that “today” – the day the Torah was given – Hashem was actually seen, as He revealed Himself to the people. 

The “Mesirut Nefesh” Instinct 

Of particular interest to us here, however, is the unique interpretation of this verse suggested by Rav Meir Simcha of Dvinsk (1843-1926), in his Meshech Hochmah commentary. 

Rav Meir Simcha reveals for us the eternal impact of akedat Yitzhak, how this event left its mark upon the hearts and souls of all Jews for all generations.  Yitzhak’s willingness to sacrifice his life for the sake of the divine will implanted within all his descendants the desire to fulfill Gd’s will at all costs, no matter what sacrifices this entails.  The event of akedat Yitzhak affected the “wiring” of Am Yisrael for all time, igniting within us the drive and determination to do Gd’s bidding, and the “mesirut nefesh” – willingness to sacrifice ourselves – to that end.  This instinct was aroused within us all the moment Yitzhak allowed himself to be placed on the altar and be sacrificed in fulfillment of Gd’s command. 

Rav Meir Simcha explains on this basis the astonishing principle articulated by our sages concerning a Jew’s unfulfilled ambitions.  The Gemara (Kiddushin 40a) teaches, “Mahashavah tovah metzarefah lemaa’aseh” – Gd “combines a good thought to the action.”  This means that if a person genuinely aspired to perform a certain mitzvah, and was determined to do whatever was needed to achieve this goal, but was unable to realize his ambition due to practical constraints, or circumstances beyond his control, he is nevertheless credited with that mitzvah.  As long as he sincerely wished to perform the good deed, and despaired only when the mitzvah was truly out of reach, he is considered to have performed that good deed.  However, the Gemara continues, this does not work in the converse.  If a person sought to commit a forbidden act, no matter how determined he was to follow through on his sinful ambitions, he is not held accountable unless he ended up actually transgressing.  Even though he truly wished to violate the Torah, and even if he went to great lengths trying to fulfill his forbidden desire, he is not punished if he was unable to do so. 

Why should this be the case?  Why do our noble intentions count, but our sinful intentions do not?  If what matters is the bottom-line, the actions we perform, then this should be true also of mitzvot, and we should receive credit only for what we actually achieve.  And if what matters is our will and intent, then why are we not held accountable for our unrealized sinful aspirations? 

Rav Meir Simcha finds the answer in the story of akedat Yitzhak – specifically, in the indelible imprint that Yitzhak’s mesirut nefesh had upon the soul of every Jew.  When a Jew sincerely seeks to perform a mitzvah, this will expresses the wishes of the deepest recesses of his being.  This desire to do good stems from his innate goodness, the natural impulse to sacrifice for Hashem which was implanted within us at the time of akedat Yitzhak.  Therefore, as this desire is pure and genuine, the person is credited with the performance of the mitzvah.  By contrast, when a Jew decides to violate Gd’s will, this desire does not reflect his true essence.  It is the product of some external factors, of various pressures and lures.  The Jew’s innermost being does not want to sin; such a desire is introduced by forces that are foreign to his core essence.  Therefore, the desire to sin is not sufficient to bring guilt, because it is not purely genuine.  (Rav Meir Simcha also references in this context the Rambam’s famous comments in Hilchot Gerushin 2:20 explaining that the inner desire of every Jew is to faithfully observe the mitzvot.) 

We Can All Be “Outreach Professionals” 

To understand the practical implications of this concept, we need simply to take note of the different attitudes that exist toward Jews who are not religiously observant. 

Many people, unfortunately, look at our unobservant brothers and sisters with condescension and disdain.  They resent these Jews’ failure to abide by the Torah’s laws, to embrace Jewish belief, and to live according to the Torah’s values and laws, and so they keep a distance and harbor feelings of scorn. 

Contrast this attitude with that of kiruv (outreach) professionals.  When someone involved in kiruv meets a Jew who does not observe the mitzvot, he right away sees that Jew’s inner spark of holiness, his potential for greatness, the imprint of akedat Yitzhak within the person’s heart.  He intuitively distinguishes between this precious Jew’s conduct and what this Jew’s heart truly wants.  In the eyes of an outreach professional, an unobservant Jew is not that much different from all of us – he is inherently good, possesses a sacred soul that longs for kedushah and for a connection with Gd, but is subject to innumerable lures that lead him astray.  And it is by focusing on this inherent sanctity embedded within the spirit of every Jew, that the spark can be ignited, leading to profound spiritual growth. 

This perspective should not be the exclusive province of outreach professionals.  This is something that all of us can and should do.  Rather than focus on all that is wrong with our fellow Jews, we should focus on all that is right about our fellow Jews.  We should see beyond the faults, shortcomings and lapses, and see the goodness and purity, the element of holiness that Yitzhak Avinu implanted within every Jew’s heart.  If we view our fellow Jews this way, we will enjoy far greater unity and harmony within our ranks, and we will be able to inspire one another and grow together.  And we will then be worthy heirs of the sacred legacy of Avraham and Yitzhak, such that their great merit will protect us and bring us our long-awaited final redemption, speedily and in our times, amen

Living Emunah If Only…

Rabbi David Ashear

A sentence appears towards  the end of the Shaar HaBitachon section of Chovot HaLevavot, which if we internalize and follow its message, could spare us a great deal of heartache and angst. It states, “The one who trusts [in Hashem] says: I never decided to do something and then wished I had done something else.”

When it comes to mundane matters, everything is under Hashem’s complete control. If a person purchases a car, and the next day he hears of a better deal on a nicer car, he might say to himself, I should never have bought this car. What a mistake! I hate this car. I could’ve done so much better! But one who trusts in Hashem, recognizes that Hashem did not grant him access the previous day to the information he now has about the other car, and so the vehicle he purchased is the one Hashem decided he should have, for his benefit. He is therefore perfectly content and happy with his purchase.

Likewise, if a person bought a house and soon after learned about a larger house in the same neighborhood with more sunlight and a driveway, which was selling for the same price, will not regret his purchase if he lives with genuine bitachon. He will realize that Hashem did not allow him to know about this larger house because, in His infinite wisdom, He knew it was best for this person to live in the house he purchased.

This is even true about marriage. If soon after his wedding a man has second thoughts and begins asking himself why he married this woman, wondering if perhaps he made a mistake, he must recognize that these thoughts are instruments of the yetzer hara, evil inclination, which is trying to ruin his life. When he got engaged and married, he was thinking very clearly and it made perfect sense to him. Hashem guided him to that girl and made sure everything would work out so they would get married. He should not regret it now, after the fact, once he is married.

Of course, in situations where something can still be done to improve a person’s condition, he must make an effort to do so. But once the situation is finalized and nothing can be done to change it, he should feel confident and happy knowing that Hashem guided him to make the decision that ultimately works out to his greatest benefit.

Two years ago, a man by the name of Moe* told me the following story:

Every year, he would spend the summer with his family at a camp in upstate New York where he held a certain position, in exchange for which he received room and board for his family and free camp for his children.

During the winter of that year, Moe was not well and decided to take some time off to relax and recuperate. He phoned the camp’s owner and informed him that he would not be joining them that summer.

Toward the end of the school year, though, he felt much stronger and decided he would be able to assume his regular position. Moreover, his family was very disappointed at the prospect of not spending the summer in camp.

Moe called the camp, but the owner informed him that someone else had already accepted his position for that summer. He endured a great deal of heartache and frustration over the decision he had made. “What was I thinking?” he asked himself repeatedly. “Why did I give this up?”

He needed to internalize the words of the Chovot HaLevavot – One who trusts in Hashem never regrets a decision he made.  During the winter, he felt he would be unable to handle the summer job. Hashem knew the future, and He certainly knew that Moe would feel better by the summer. Yet, He did not put the thought in Moe’s mind that he might feel stronger in a couple of months, and that his family would be very disappointed if they did not spend summer in camp. Hashem knew what was best for him, and so he was led to make this decision.

At this point, when there was nothing more he could do, Moe should have acknowledged that Hashem’s will was for his family not to spend the summer in camp, and make the most of this situation.

Hashem is in full control of our lives. He arranges the situations that He knows will be best for us. We need to trust Him and feel perfectly at ease knowing that He is directing us, He knows our thoughts and feelings, He knows the future, and He always puts us exactly where we need to be.

* Name has been changed.