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Sailing Relationships with R’ Ali – January 2026

QUESTION: 

Dear Rabbi Ali,

I hope you can give me some advice on how to deal with this situation as it’s been taking a toll on my relationship. I work very hard to provide for my family and make a decent living. Sometimes, things are good and other times money is tight. The past year-and-a-half my business has been slow. We are not in a position to spend as we used to, whether it be winter break or summer vacation. I find that my wife and I are fighting a lot about this. I don’t blame her at all. I just would appreciate any advice on how to deal with this situation.


R’ Ali’s Response: 
I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned this in the past, but it’s worthwhile mentioning again. It’s wonderful when I see more and more people reaching out for help instead of suffering for no reason. Many times, all a couple needs are a few pointers and their marriage dramatically changes for the better. Even if a couple isn’t suffering, but rather needs some clarity, it’s still recommended to reach out to someone who deals with shalom bayit.

Before I give you practical advice, I’d like to mention a few points on this topic in for you and the readers to gain the proper Torah perspective. Everyone, men and women must understand and internalize the fact that money comes from Hashem. I’m well aware that this is a marriage column, but as people of the Torah, we need to incorporate the proper Torah ideologies into our lives. Men are obligated to support their wives and do the proper hishtadlut. At the end of the day, we must all believe, acknowledge, and accept the fact that the amount of money we receive has been decreed by Hashem on Rosh Hashanah. 

Practically speaking, women should be understanding of two things. One, your husband cannot make more than the decreed amount, and two, do not be resentful if he is not bringing in the amount that you’d like. Expressing your frustration towards him will make an already stressful situation into a shalom bayit issue. He may feel down on himself or as many people tell me, they feel like a failure. 

I completely understand that the standard of living these days is high and we need a lot of money to get by. However, this is (for the most part) not your husband’s fault. Being an eshet chayil means being there for your husband whether he is making money or not. Respect is not contingent on dollars and cents. We respect our spouse no matter what they “make of themselves.”

On the flip side, many men overwork when their wives would prefer to live a minimalistic lifestyle and have their husband around for her and the family.  Many men say,  “I’m working all these hours for you,” but their wives are saying they don’t need all of the “extra” money.

Of course, everyone’s situation is different and should be discussed with a third party and people should not rely on an article to make any drastic changes in their work ethic or marriage. Getting back to your question, I believe you need to practice gentle communication with your wife. I don’t know the specifics of your situation, but as a general rule, you should let your wife know how much you can and can’t spend. Validate her needs, instead of saying,  “Leave me alone I can’t afford it.” Tell her, “I totally understand you want to go away, I wish we could. Be’ezrat Hashem, things will get better.” 


In conclusion, having high standards hurts many relationships. Work on being happy with what you have. As the Mishnah says, a true rich man is happy with what he has.

A Gemara asks the question, “How does one become rich?” and answers, “Pray to the One who has the riches.” I hope we all understand that is referring to Hashem!

Work together as a team, pray to Hashem, and you should see tons of bracha in your life and your marriage, amen.

Community Highlights – EJSS Students Conclude Six-Year Gemara Seder Moed Study

Students in learning groups at EJSS have successfully completed Gemara Seder Moed, a monumental six-year project, which concluded with Masechet Chagiga. This significant journey was guided by Rabbis Nathan Escava, Yaacob Tebele, and Nathan Safdeye.

The achievement is a testament to the effectiveness of the Oraysa Amud V’chazara program. Developed in collaboration with leading Roshei Yeshiva and Gedolei Yisroel, this framework meets the increasing demand for a daily Gemara learning structure. It expertly balances the need for a steady, accountable pace with the sophistication level of today’s ben Torah.

Amud V’chazara incorporates special features – such as multiple, built-in reviews, tests, and stipends for achievement – specifically designed to enhance the long-term retention of the masechtot learned.

UCEF Debit Card: Turning Everyday Spending into Real Tuition Savings

For families looking to make tuition more manageable, the UCEF Debit Card offers a simple, powerful new way to save. When cardholders sign up, they securely enter their school information and student account number. From that moment on, every qualifying purchase automatically earns rewards that go directly toward their tuition bill – no forms to fill out, no tracking, and no extra steps.

What makes the UCEF Debit Card truly unique is its partnership with participating merchants. These stores offer enhanced rewards exclusively for UCEF cardholders, often far higher than typical credit-card cash-back programs. And from now until Nov 30, 2026, UCEF is doubling every merchant’s reward – turning everyday purchases into potentially significant tuition credits.

There’s no need to replace your current credit cards. The UCEF Debit Card is designed to be used alongside them. Cardholders can simply choose the UCEF card whenever the rewards are greater – which is often – maximizing tuition savings with zero sacrifice.

Whether it’s groceries, restaurants, clothing, or services, using the UCEF Debit Card at participating merchants means families earn meaningful tuition contributions without changing their spending habits. It’s effortless, automatic, and built to make education more affordable.

The UCEF Debit Card: Spend smart. Earn big. Pay down tuition – without even thinking about it!

Miracles of Renewal: When Two Hearts Give as One

Last month was an extraordinary month for Renewal, filled with miracles and matched kidney donors. Among the many transplants that took place, three stories stood out amongst the rest with a special kind of light. Not only were these stories rooted in compassion, but in partnership as well. Let me explain…

This month, Isaac (Yitzy) Cwibeker, Joshua Rosen, and Heshy Cohen each donated a kidney. What makes their generosity so remarkable is that their wives, Danielle, Terri, and Esty, had already donated kidneys in previous years. 

Three couples. Six kidneys. Countless lives changed.

In the Jewish community, we speak often about “bayit ne’eman”- the faithful home, built on shared values. These couples live that ideal to its fullest. Their homes aren’t just filled with kindness. They radiate it. The couples’ acts of courage remind us that giving is contagious, especially within a marriage where hesed is part of the family DNA.

They say, “Couples that pray together stay together.” At Renewal, this month taught us a new version: Couples that give life together, grow together.

Each spouse’s decision was personal, but their shared legacy is powerful. These kidney donors demonstrate to us that when two people commit not only to each other but are committed to uplifting the world around them, their impact becomes exponentially greater. Their partnership becomes a source of healing and blessing far beyond the walls of their own home.

As we celebrate these recent transplants, these three couples remind us that love can inspire giving and motivate action. And when two hearts choose the same mission, the impact is extraordinary!

Medical Halacha – Crutches and Wheelchairs on Shabbat

Rabbi Yehuda Finchas

One Friday morning, Ronnie approached me, with concern etched on his face. “Rabbi,” he said, “I broke my leg playing ball and without these crutches I cannot take even a few paces. But there is no eruv in our neighborhood. Am I allowed to walk with the crutches to beit knesset on Shabbat so that I can attend the youth minyan?”

Not long after, Miriam, a woman in her sixties who had been confined to a wheelchair following a serious illness, asked a similar question. “Rabbi,” she said softly, “without my wheelchair I cannot move at all. Can I wheel myself to synagogue on Shabbat for my grandson’s bar mitzva next month, or can someone push me?”

The Halachic Framework

The Torah forbids hotza’ah – carrying from a private to a public domain on Shabbat. This prohibition includes carrying an object, as well as pushing or dragging it. However, Maran in the Beit Yosef (Orach Chaim 301:15–17) establishes that a prosthetic leg that enables the person to walk is considered an extension of the body and is therefore not regarded as carrying – similar to wearing shoes or eyeglasses. By contrast, an item used only occasionally or out of convenience is classified as a masui – a load or external object – and may not be carried or pushed without an eruv. The Shulchan Aruch adds that one who cannot walk without a cane may also walk with it on Shabbat. The Kaf Hachaim (301:103) explains that if one can manage to walk indoors without a cane, it is classified as a masui and he may not use it outdoors; but if he cannot walk at all without it, even at home, the cane is like his legs and its use is therefore permitted.

Ronnie’s Crutches: When Walking Aids Become Like Part of the Body

Based on the aforementioned Beit Yosef, the Yalkut Yosef (Shabbat, vol. 2, 301:7) rules that an injured or disabled person who cannot walk without a cane or crutches may use them even outside an eruv. In such cases, the crutches are considered as if they were his legs. However, if one can walk without them, even with difficulty, their use is prohibited, as they become a masui. Thus, for Ronnie – who cannot walk at all without his crutches – halacha permits him to go to beit knesset with them, even in a place without an eruv.

Miriam’s Wheelchair: A More Complex Question

The matter is more complex for Miriam. In Yabia Omer (Orach Chaim 9:34), Hacham Ovadia Yosef, zt”l, cites authorities who permit a person to be pushed in a wheelchair, likening it to a cane, and others who forbid it, as it is comparable to pushing a baby carriage, which is forbidden without an eruv. He concludes that for the sake of a mitzvah, such as attending synagogue, one may be lenient – but only if the wheelchair is pushed by a non-Jew.

Hacham Benzion Abba Shaul(Ohr LeTzion vol. 2, ch. 23:5) permits a person to wheel themselves in the public domain, but rules that it is forbidden for another Jew to push them, as that action constitutes carrying a load on their behalf, whereas self-propulsion is similar to walking with a cane. Hacham Yitzhak Yosef in Yalkut Yosef (Shabbat, vol. 2, 301:7) concurs but adds that it is preferable that a non-Jew wheel her to synagogue. Importantly, an electric wheelchair remains prohibited, since activating or controlling its motor constitutes a melachah and is forbidden.

Practical Guidance

For Ronnie, the crutches are essential and without them he cannot walk at all, even at home. Therefore, halacha recognizes them as part of his body. He may walk with them to beit knesset, even where no eruv exists. For Miriam, the wheelchair is her sole means of mobility, and she can rely on the poskim that compare it to a cane. She may propel herself on Shabbat to attend her grandson’s bar mitzvah, but ideally, she should ask a non-Jew to assist her. However, an electric wheelchair may not be used.

Rabbi Yehuda Finchas is a worldwide expert, lecturer, and author on Medical Halacha. He heads the Torat Habayit Medical Halacha Institute. His latest book is “Brain Death in Halacha and the Tower of Babel Syndrome.” To contact Rabbi Finchas, email [email protected]

Elevating the Ordinary

Pnina Souid

The Mitzvah Man recalls a day when the mitzvah he was searching for was not as he expected. “It was the end of the day, and I had been driving around for hours looking for a mitzvah to do. Finally, I spotted the building of Bnai Raphael, an organization that distributes food to hundreds of people. I parked my car, went inside, and asked who’s in charge. The man I spoke to answered, “I’m in charge.” I asked him, “I’d like to offer my services. Can I help you with anything today?”

“Perfect timing! Today is Thursday and we need someone to take out the garbage.”

I thought to myself, “Today Hashem wants me to take out the garbage, and I am happy to do that. This is not beneath me. Whatever needs doing I will do.”

“You have to take the bags of garbage to the sidewalk, and all the food cartons must be folded, tied up, and put out neatly.”

“Thank you, Hashem! Today, my mitzvah is taking out the garbage for this wonderful organization!”

I got to work. For two hours, I was dealing with garbage and I was smiling. I realized that today Hashem wanted me to take out the garbage for Bnai Raphael. I took out the garbage, tied up the cartons and took them out, and swept the floor, to clean up the onion peels and other food remnants from the boxes.

I was hoping to see someone so I could tell them that today Hashem wanted me to take out the garbage and I was very happy to do this mitzvah! In fact, I am proud to take out the garbage.

Hashem gives us opportunities to do mitzvot. Some are easy and clean. Some, however, are more challenging. Hashem wants us to do these types of hesed with a full heart as well. When you do a mitzvah that takes you out of your way or out of your comfort zone you don’t lose out. In fact, you may even get extra credit.

Positive Parenting – Helping Children Become More Empathetic

Tammy Sassoon

Empathy is one of the most important relationship skills you can give your child. It helps them build strong friendships, handle conflict, and grow into thoughtful, emotionally intelligent adults. But empathy doesn’t always come naturally, especially in a world where children are often overwhelmed by their own feelings. The good news is that empathy can be taught, practiced, and strengthened at home. With consistency and intention, parents can help children grow into more understanding and caring individuals.

Model the Behavior You Want to See

Children learn empathy mainly by watching the adults around them. When they see you pause, listen, and respond kindly, they absorb those patterns. When they watch you handle stress with patience or speak respectfully, even when you are frustrated, they learn emotional regulation by example.

If you lose your cool, narrate your repair: “I got overwhelmed and raised my voice. That wasn’t kind of me. Let me try again.” This teaches accountability, perspective-taking, and the idea that emotions can be felt without hurting others.

Do Not Preach Empathy

Many parents encourage empathy verbally: “Share,” “Be nice,” “Think of others,” but they mistakenly model the opposite through their tone or reactions. Children notice this mismatch instantly. When a parent demands patience but responds with irritation, or insists the child be kind while speaking harshly, the child learns that empathy is something adults talk about but do not actually practice.

This creates confusion and resistance. Children may feel criticized rather than guided, or view empathy as a rule to obey instead of a value. Ultimately, kids imitate our actions a lot more than our words. When empathy is lived consistently, not preached, children adopt it more naturally.

Help Children Identify and Name Their Feelings

A child who can understand their own emotions is better equipped to recognize feelings in others. Encourage your child to describe what they’re feeling with specific language – frustrated, nervous, disappointed, overwhelmed, or proud.

Ask gentle questions: “Does that feeling feel more like anger or more like sadness?” “Where do you feel it in your body?” Emotional literacy forms the foundation for empathy.

Encourage Open-Ended Questions

Empathy grows when children learn to seek understanding. Model questions like: “What happened?” “How did that make you feel?” “What can I do to help?”
These questions foster deeper connection and curiosity about others’ experiences.

Use Stories to Build Perspective-Taking

Books and stories are powerful empathy tools. While reading, pause and wonder together: “Why do you think she reacted that way?” “How would you feel if you were him?” Stories give children safe opportunities to explore perspectives different from their own.

Validate Your Child’s Feelings to Teach Them to Validate Others

Children who feel understood become much more willing to understand others. Practicing validation doesn’t mean you agree with everything, it simply acknowledges your child’s experience.

Examples include: “It makes sense you’re upset.” “I hear you. I’m here to help.” When children feel seen and heard, they naturally extend that same care to those around them.

Provide Opportunities for Helping and Cooperation

Empathy strengthens through real-life action. Encourage your child to help in small, meaningful ways; comforting a sibling, feeding a pet, helping a neighbor, or assisting with family tasks.

Reflect afterward: “How did helping make you feel?” “How do you think they felt when you helped?” This reinforces the emotional rewards of kindness.

Lastly, Celebrate Empathetic Moments

When you see empathetic behavior, name it specifically: “I noticed you checked on your friend when he was sad. That was very thoughtful.” Being recognized motivates children to repeat compassionate behavior.

Empathy develops over time through modeling, practice, and connection. When parents consistently demonstrate kindness, perspective-taking, and emotional awareness, children naturally follow. By creating a home where empathy is lived, not just spoken about, parents can raise compassionate, emotionally intelligent children who contribute positively to their families, friendships, and future relationships.

Words of Rabbi Eli J. Mansour – “Not Even a Hoof” The Resolve That Set a Nation Free

Pharaoh was more than just a king. For us, he was – and is – a symbol.

A number of traditional sources, including the Zohar, teach that Pharaoh, the king of Egypt who enslaved our ancestors, symbolizes the yetzer hara, our evil inclination, our negative tendencies, our vices, our sinful instincts. Of course, the story of Pharaoh is true and historically accurate. But in addition, Pharaoh embodied the yetzer hara, and thus by studying his behavior, we gain a clearer understanding of the “Pharaoh” within us that we must constantly struggle to overcome.

Most obviously, the yetzer hara, like Pharaoh, “enslaves” us. I doubt anyone reading this never felt trapped or chained by a bad habit, by some lure or temptation.

Additionally, as we read this month, Pharaoh acted irrationally, without reason. He continually refused to led Beneh Yisrael leave Egypt even when this was clearly and undeniably the correct thing to do for the benefit of his kingdom, which was devastated by plague after plague due to his intransigence. Our yetzer hara, too, causes us to act insensibly, to persist in our negative behaviors even as we know how detrimental and destructive they are.

In this context, however, I would like to draw our attention to one particular aspect of Pharaoh’s story which should inform the way we approach our human weaknesses.

Moshe the “Macho Man”?

Following the eighth plague, the plague of locusts, Pharaoh relented, and he informed Moshe that he would permit all Beneh Yisrael to leave – but on the condition that their cattle remain behind in Egypt.

Moshe, predictably, refused – but he does so with uncharacteristic vehemence. He told Pharaoh that not only would Beneh Yisrael take their own cattle, but Pharaoh himself would give them his own animals to be offered as sacrifices to Gd. But most strikingly, perhaps, Moshe declared, “Lo tisha’er parsah – Not a hoof will remain!” (10:26). He emphasized that not one of his people’s animals – not even one leg of an animal! – would stay in Egypt.

We are not accustomed to seeing Moshe “talk tough,” not even to Pharaoh. Why was Moshe so insistent that every “hoof” needed to leave Egypt? Was this just posturing, an attempt to sound “macho”?

One explanation is indicated by the Midrash, which explains that Moshe considered the possibility that Gd would require the offering of innumerable animal sacrifices. Moshe said to Pharaoh, “…and we do not know with what we will serve Gd until we arrive there” The Midrash comments that since Beneh Yisrael had not offered any sacrifices over the course of their 210-year sojourn in Egypt, Moshe wondered if perhaps they would need to make up for all these missing years, and bring over two centuries’ worth of sacrifices. Hence, we might say that Moshe wasn’t “talking tough” with Pharaoh, but simply stating the fact that Beneh Yisrael would need as many animals as they could bring, given the possibility that they would be asked to make up for all the years during which they were unable to bring sacrifices to Gd.

However, this would not explain Moshe’s emphasis that “lo tisha’er parsah” – no “hoof” would remain in Egypt. Why did he need to be so dramatic in demanding that Pharaoh let Beneh Yisrael’s animals leave with them?

The Sneaky “Baby-Step” Scheme

The answer becomes clear once we understand that Pharaoh wasn’t just a king, but rather a model and embodiment of the yetzer hara.

The Gemara (Shabbat 105b) tells us about the devious strategy employed by the yetzer hara to lure us to sin:

For this is the evil inclination’s scheme: Today it tells him, “Do this”; the next day, it tells him, “Do this;” until it tells him, “Worship idols,” and he goes ahead and worships.

If the yetzer hara would try to entice an ordinary, Gd-fearing Jew today to pray on Sunday morning in a church, this is not likely to happen. Rarely does a person fall so far so rapidly. Instead, the yetzer hara takes baby steps, pushing a person one small stride at a time. It first convinces him to commit some relatively minor infraction which is beneath the individual’s standards. For some people, this might mean neglecting to recite birkat hamazon after eating bread. For some, it might mean sleeping late and missing minyan. For others, this might be sharing some “juicy” gossip. The point is that the yetzer hara seeks to keep a hold on the person, in whichever way it can. It will try to convince him to do something that he knows he shouldn’t do, but that is not such a grave violation that he would never countenance committing it. The yetzer hara’s goal is not this relatively minor infraction itself, but rather to maintain a foothold, to keep the person under its influence.

The reason behind this strategy is something which the yetzer hara knows very well, but which we often forget – that one thing leads to another. Once we let the yetzer hara into our lives, and into our beings, we come under its influence and can so easily fall into a downward spiral. Gd told Kayin, “Lapetah hatat rovetz – Sin crouches at the entrance” (Beresheet 4:7). The process of sin begins “at the entrance,” by letting the yetzer hara into the door to our hearts. Once we start negotiating and arguing with the yetzer hara, we are then likely to start making compromises to accommodate it, to make exceptions, however inherently slight. These compromises and exceptions then lead to others, potentially sending us far from where we ought to be.

The only response to the yetzer hara is to slam the door in its face and not let it in. If we allow ourselves to be dragged into negotiations and discussions, our fortifications are then breached, and we are at grave risk of spiritual demise.

This is the message of Moshe’s fervent, passionate proclamation, “Lo tisha’er parsah” – that not a single hoof would remain in Egypt. We cannot give Pharaoh an inch, not even a single “hoof.” If a hoof would remain in Egypt, there is no telling who else would end up getting stuck in Egypt. We cannot allow the yetzer hara any leeway. Our rejection must be firm and absolute.

The Lesson of Eliyahu’s Bull

This explanation dovetails with a fascinating insight by the Malbim (Rav Meir Leibush Wisser, 1809-1879) regarding the text of this verse.

The Malbim perceptively notes that Moshe did not tell Pharaoh that Beneh Yisrael would bring their cattle with them. Instead, he said, “Vegam miknenenu yelech imanu – And also our cattle will come with us.” The flocks wouldn’t be brought out by the people – they would leave on their own!

The Malbim explains what this means based on the story of the prophet Eliyahu’s “showdown” with the pagan prophets on Mount Carmel. As we read in the Book of Melachim I (chapter 18), Eliyahu challenged the prophets of the pagan god ba’al to a contest of sorts, whereby he and they would bring sacrifices, and the one whose sacrifice would be visibly accepted would be proven right. Eliyahu brought two bulls, and invited the prophets of ba’al to choose the bull that they would sacrifice to their deity. Needless to say, these prophets received no response from their imaginary god after sacrificing their bull. Eliyahu then proceeded to offer the second bull, and he prayed to Gd for a response. A heavenly fire descended and consumed the sacrifice, proving to all the people the truth of monotheism.

The Midrash relates that the bull chosen by the pagan prophets was reluctant to go. It refused to be used for the purpose of pagan worship. Eliyahu convinced the bull that it was actually a privilege to be sacrificed to ba’al, as this would result in a spectacular kiddush Hashem (glorification of Gd), whereby the entire nation would recognize the truth about Hashem. At that point, the bull proceeded.

In light of this story, the Malbim suggests a novel explanation of Moshe’s response to Pharaoh. Moshe was saying that Beneh Yisrael’s cattle would leave Egypt on its own, willing and eager to be sacrificed to Gd. Unlike the pagan prophets’ bull – which needed to be persuaded to be used as a sacrifice to ba’al – Beneh Yisrael’s animals left Egypt happily, enthusiastic about their role in the service of the Almighty.

The Malbim adds that this is why Moshe then told Pharaoh, “ki mimenu nikah la’avod et Hashem – for we will take from it [the cattle] to serve Gd.” He was saying that Beneh Yisrael would “take” a precious lesson in religious devotion from their cattle. When they see their herds eagerly going to be sacrificed to Gd, they will be moved and inspired, and will strive for this level of unbridled and enthusiastic commitment.

Once we “shut the door” on the yetzer hara, we eliminate all our inner reluctance and ambivalence. Once we make the resolute, unwavering decision to reject our sinful tendencies, our service of Hashem will be far more energetic, wholehearted, enthusiastic, and fulfilling. Rather than be encumbered by reluctance and inner struggle, we will – like our ancestors’ cattle – march naturally and eagerly along the path of Torah and mitzvot. The critical first step is to declare, “Lo tisha’er parsah” – that we are not letting the yetzer ha’ra through the door, that we reject it, that we are entirely free from its clutches, leaving it in control of nothing, not even a single “hoof.”

The lesson of Moshe’s pronouncement to Pharaoh, then, is that we must make the firm decision to leave “Pharaoh,” to abandon our bad habits, to reject our vices, and to commit ourselves fully and unconditionally to the Almighty’s will.

Building Forward, Together

Karen Behfar

January isn’t loud. It doesn’t arrive with fireworks, dreidels, latkes, and noise. It just sort of appears, quietly reminding us that time keeps moving. After the lights of Hanukah fade and the winter chill settles in, Brooklyn feels a little slower, softer. And that calm gives us space to think about what’s next.

For me, January has always been a time to pause. In real estate, this is what I call the thinking month. People aren’t rushing to move; they’re reflecting. They’re curious if their home is still serving their family’s needs. Is this where they want to be in the summer? Where are the schools they want to send their kids to in September? And beyond the logistics, does this space still feel like us?

This is also a wonderful time to give that energy back: check on an elderly neighbor, support a local business, or volunteer for a community initiative. When we strengthen the ties around us, we strengthen our own sense of belonging. Brooklyn thrives on connection. Whether it’s a quick chat outside shul, a neighbor bringing soup, or kids playing on the block, it’s these relationships that make our neighborhoods feel like we’re family.

Evaluate Your Space

Our homes are living spaces. They’re meant to evolve as we do. Take a slow walk through your space and ask: Which areas make daily life easier, and which frustrate you? Does your dining room feel welcoming for guests? Do your kids have the right space to study, relax, or host friends?

You might realize that what’s missing isn’t more space but rather better use of what you already have. Sometimes rearranging furniture or repurposing a room can change how you live in your home without changing your address.

As Orthodox Jews, our homes are more than living spaces. They’re the center of spiritual and family life. Every week we prepare for Shabbat, filling our homes with warmth, food, and song. This rhythm gives us structure, but it also reminds us what “home” really means. It’s a place where holiness and everyday life meet.

Consider What Is Possible

Growth doesn’t always mean big moves. Sometimes it’s just opening your mind to possibility. Whether you stay, renovate, or move, allow yourself to imagine what “better” could look like. Maybe it’s a kitchen where everyone gathers, a yard for summer meals, or a block closer to family. Maybe it’s simply finding more joy right where you are.

The point isn’t to rush, it’s to begin thinking with intention. Because that’s how meaningful change starts.

Even if you’re thinking about moving later this year, January is a great month to prepare quietly.

January Tips

Get financial clarity: Review your mortgage, equity, or savings. A short meeting with your accountant or lender now can prevent surprises later.

Observe the market: Notice which homes are selling in your neighborhood, and at what pace.

Reach out early: Your realtor can help you plan a smart timeline so you’re ready when the right opportunity appears.

In my experience, the most confident sellers, and the happiest buyers, are the ones who prepare before they act. They take the time to think, to plan, and to make choices that align with their lives, not just the market.

January may be quiet, but it’s powerful. It’s when we regroup, realign, and remember that home isn’t just where we live – it’s how we live, together.

Small Ways to Make Your Space Feel Calmer

  • Add extra seating around the Shabbat table to allow you to invite more guests.
  • Declutter one area that always feels chaotic. It can shift the whole energy of the home.
  • Create a quiet spot for reading, learning, or prayer. Even a small corner makes a difference.

The Heart of the SBH Career Division

By Rita Shabot, Career Division Director at SBH

At the SBH Career Division, our mission is simple yet deeply impactful: to help every job seeker find confidence, direction, and meaningful opportunity. We believe that when one person rises, the entire community rises with them.

Our Passion to Help

Every day, our dedicated team of professional job developers, résumé writers, and volunteer coaches walks into the Career Division with purpose. We understand that searching for work – whether you’re just beginning your journey or navigating a career transition – can feel overwhelming. At SBH, no one walks alone.

The voices of our clients speak powerfully to this care. One individual shared:

“You really helped me out with my résumé and connecting me with job opportunities. I’m waiting to hear back from a few companies and have a second-round interview on Monday thanks to one of the connections you made. Thank you for your assistance through all this. Wishing you a happy and healthy new year. Shanah Tovah!”

Messages like these affirm the impact of our work every single day.

Our Process: Step by Step, Side by Side

From the moment someone reaches out, we take the time to listen—to goals, concerns, and even insecurities. We create a personalized plan, offer targeted support, and remain alongside our clients throughout their journey.

One client expressed this experience with deep gratitude:

“Sheri, I want to thank you for being so available and patient with me through this process. I believe you must have a degree in social work because you addressed many of my insecurities. May Hashem continue to give you the words to help all who rely on you. You have a special gift!”

This kind of trust is something we cherish and strive to earn every day.

We’re Here for You

Our professionals do far more than match résumés to job postings. They are motivators, strategists, advocates, and emotional supports. Clients consistently feel seen, valued, and believed in.

As one person shared:

“Nathan treated me like his only client and genuinely cared about the mission of finding me a new role. SBH, and those who reach out, are fortunate to have him. Thank you.”

This level of care is not the exception – it is our standard.

Our Volunteers: The Heartbeat of Our Division

We are blessed with an extraordinary network of volunteer job coaches and retention coaches who give selflessly of their time, experience, and hearts. They mentor, encourage, and inspire – often continuing their support long after a placement is made.

One client captured this sentiment perfectly:

“Thank you for your assistance. I definitely appreciate that you’re on the other end trying to make things better for everyone.”

Their gratitude reflects the lasting ripple effect created by our volunteers’ compassion.

Our Supportive Services

To help clients thrive, the SBH Career Division offers a comprehensive range of services designed to support both immediate goals and long-term success:

  • Professional Résumé Writing
    One-on-one collaboration to create polished, impactful résumés that open doors.
  • Skills Training
    Interview preparation, workplace readiness, and confidence-building support.
  • Job Coaches
    Personalized guidance through the job search process, from applications to offers.
  • Retention Coaches
    Continued support after placement to ensure stability, growth, and success.

Young Professionals: Building the Future

We are especially proud of our Young Professionals Program, which empowers the next generation through:

  • Internship placements that provide real-world experience
  • Mentor–mentee relationships that inspire and guide
  • Industry events and roundtables that build networks and open career paths

These initiatives equip young adults with confidence, direction, and opportunity.

At the SBH Career Division, we believe in people.
We believe in untapped potential, new beginnings, and the power of community members lifting one another up. Our staff and volunteers – job developers, résumé writers, coaches, and mentors – work every day with one shared mission: To help you succeed professionally, personally, and confidently.

We’re here for you. Always.

Finding Balance in a Digital World: How Technology Shapes Our Well-Being

By SIMHA Mental Health Series

Technology has become a constant part of our lives. Our phones wake us up, guide our schedules, entertain us, and connect us with people around the world. Social media, texting, streaming, and now artificial intelligence bring incredible convenience and opportunity. But they also bring challenges that quietly affect our mental health, relationships, and sense of connection.

This guide, based on insights shared by Dr. Eli Shapiro, offers a warm, practical way to understand our relationship with technology and how to keep it healthy.

Technology Isn’t the Enemy

Rather than seeing technology as “good” or “bad,” Dr. Shapiro encourages us to see it like any other relationship in our lives. Some relationships are healthy, supportive, and balanced. Others become demanding, distracting, or draining.

A simple question helps us figure out where we stand: Is technology enhancing my life right now – or is it intruding on it?

Some days it helps us stay connected, learn, and accomplish more. Other days, it interrupts family time, sleep, or even our sense of peace. Becoming aware of this difference is the first step toward healthier digital habits.

Why We Feel More Connected Yet More Alone

Humans are built for connection. Our emotional health depends on real, face-to-face relationships – the kind where we talk, listen, laugh, and share experiences.

Yet today, people spend far less time with one another. The Surgeon General reported that in the past decade we spend 30 fewer hours per month in real social, face-to-face activities. And, we spend five fewer hours per month engaging with people in our own household.

Instead of being with people, we scroll. Instead of conversations, we consume content. Social media imitates connection but cannot replace real relationships.

You might have thousands of followers, but that doesn’t mean you feel emotionally supported or understood. Digital contact gives quantity, not quality. Real connection requires presence – something that technology often pulls us away from.

How to Recognize When Technology Is Getting in the Way

Technology becomes unhealthy when it begins to interfere with our primary responsibilities or relationships. Some signs include staying up too late on the phone, ignoring people in the home, missing work goals or schoolwork, feeling anxious when you can’t check your device, using screens to escape everyday life, and spending more time online than with friends or family

This doesn’t mean you have a “problem.” It means awareness is needed – and small changes can make a big difference.

People with anxiety, ADHD, depression, autism, or past trauma may be more sensitive to digital stimulation. Their brains can react more strongly to online activity, making it harder to unplug. There is no shame in this – it simply means healthier boundaries are even more important.

The Power of Digital Detox – Even for a Few Minutes

One of the most powerful tools for healthier living is intentional disconnection. In the Jewish community, Shabbat offers a built-in weekly reset: phones off, minds calm, and hearts open. Dr. Shapiro describes Shabbat as a true gift – a chance to breathe and be present.

But even outside of Shabbat, you can create smaller “mini-Shabbat moments” during the week:

  • Put phones away during meals – “going dark for dinner”.
  • Turn on “Do Not Disturb” or sleep mode at night.
  • Leave the phone in another room for the first five minutes of your morning.
  • Set one hour each evening for family-only time.

These small acts give your brain a break and allow deeper connection with the people around you.

Be Present. Be Aware. Be Balanced.

Technology is here to stay. And in many ways, it enriches our lives more than ever before. But it must be used thoughtfully.

Here’s the heart of the message: You don’t need to throw away your phone or quit social media. You just need a healthier, more intentional relationship with it.

Try the following: notice when technology enhances your life rather intrudes on it, create small moments of digital rest, and prioritize real-world relationships. Thereby, you can protect your mental health and strengthen the connections that truly matter.

And if you ever feel overwhelmed or unsure how to create this balance, SIMHA is here to help guide you, support you, and connect you with the right professionals.

Technology should serve you – not the other way around.

Once Upon A Thyme – Macadamia White Chocolate Chip Cookies

Adina YaakovThese soft and chewy white chocolate macadamia nut cookies are rich, sweet, and packed with “buttery” flavor. The combination of creamy white chocolate and lightly toasted macadamia nuts adds the perfect balance of sweetness and crunch, making them an irresistible treat for any occasion. After experimenting with many different combinations, this version finally achieved an outstanding texture and flavor. The cookie base itself is a great one that can definitely be used for other varieties, like simply swapping the macadamia nuts and white chocolate chips for marshmallows, graham crackers, and chocolate chips to make s’mores cookies, or any other flavor combination.

Ingredients:
2 sticks (1 cup) margarine
2 cups sugar
2 tbsp pure vanilla extract
½ tsp salt
3 cups flour
1½ tsp baking soda
1 cup white chocolate chips
1 cup unsalted macadamia nuts, lightly chopped

Instructions:
1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.
2. In the bowl of a stand mixer, cream the margarine and sugar together until fluffy.
3. Add the eggs and vanilla and mix again.
4. Add the flour, salt, and baking soda and mix until just combined.
5. Remove the bowl from the mixer and fold in the white chocolate chips and macadamia nuts.
6. Line a tray with parchment paper and scoop the cookie dough into 1 tbsp sized balls, placing them 2 inches apart.
7. Bake for about 12 minutes, or until the edges turn brown. The cookies may look too soft, but they will firm up as they cool, ensuring a soft and chewy texture.