Ellen Geller Kamaras
“How did I end up living in the Holy City of Brooklyn amidst Orthodox men in black hats and women in custom wigs? My young adult visions of myself ensconced in a little college town teaching undergraduates gave way to a life that is considerably more rich, diverse, and family centered.” – Barbara
Please meet Barbara Bensoussan, an awarding-winning writer who transitioned from an “All-American Jewish girl to a Sephardic observant Jewish wife and mother.”
In her 25-year career as a journalist, writing for magazines and authoring her own books, Barbara has often focused on the Sephardic community. She aims to ensure that regular modern-day, Torah-observant Sephardim are represented in her books.
We met in Barbara’s home, and she warmly greeted me with homemade cookies. I was struck by her lovely, graceful, and calm presence.
Barbara’s life story is entwined with her introduction to Orthodox Judaism during grad school, her journey to becoming shomeret Shabbat, and her first trip to Israel.
Roots
Barbara Greenfield Bensoussan was born in Philadelphia and moved with her family to Rochester, N.Y. at 14 years of age. She has two younger brothers. Her father Joseph David, a”h, and her mother Gladys belonged to a Reform synagogue and had a strong Jewish identity.
Barbara credits her parents with being models of shalom bayit, stability, and integrity. They demonstrated how to face challenges courageously.
Her uncle, Stanley Weintraub, a”h, was a role model for Barbara. He was a university professor who wrote over 60 books.
Barbara’s grandparents were all born in Eastern Europe. However, while writing an article about DNA testing, she did DNA testing herself and discovered that her mother’s DNA group was a Sephardi line.
Barbara describes herself as being a bookish kid who was a social but introspective teen. She attended public schools from elementary through high school.
In Barbara’s early high school years her grades were not stellar, as her friends were more important to her than classes. After she achieved high scores on the PSAT/SAT exams, she said, “people saw me differently and I shaped up academically in response.”
She enrolled at Michigan State University majoring in psychology. MSU was culture shock for her as it was very large and alienating, with very few Jews. Her next step was a doctoral program in psychology at the University of Michigan, which had a larger Jewish population.
A Spiritual Pivot
“I was on my way to a Ph.D. in psychology when I decided to opt out of academia and start a family.”
Halfway through graduate school, a friend drew Barbara into a weekly Judaism class with an Orthodox rabbi. She had preconceived ideas about Orthodox Jews and was pleasantly surprised that this rabbi was shrewd, insightful, and understood a lot more about her world than she did about his. It did not take her long to realize that Judaism was much richer, deeper, and intellectually sophisticated than her Hebrew school education. Her newly religious friends invited her for Shabbat to allow her to really experience it. Although she enjoyed these breaks from school, Barbara still could not see herself becoming Orthodox.
Both the rabbi and Barbara’s friends encouraged her to visit Israel. She received a scholarship to attend a women’s summer learning program at Neve Yerushalayim in Jerusalem. She felt she could not pass up this opportunity to experience Israel for the first time.
Barbara’s summer in Yerushalayim was both an “eye-opening and soul-opening experience – difficult and exhilarating at the same time.”
She struggled to absorb new words and Orthodox Jewish concepts. Her modern-day perspective clashed with a worldview that was wiser and older. Barbara cried at the Kotel and Yad V’Shem and she understood that Yerushalayim was cracking open something that had been closed inside her. She felt that spiritual connection and decided to try to be shomeret Shabbat at Neve.
That summer also opened her heart. She met her future husband Ariel when she took a break from studying one day. Ariel was a university student in France at the time. He had grown up in Morocco and was visiting his parents in Israel. A couple of his brothers had become affiliated with Chabad.
Barbara and Ariel stayed connected. When they decided to marry, they chose to live in Brooklyn as a compromise between France and Michigan. Barbara accepted Moroccan minhagim.
With great siyata d’shmaya, Ariel was able to find a job in his field quickly in Brooklyn. He loved that Brooklyn was so Jewish, with shuls, shiurim, and kosher food available everywhere.
The couple lives in Flatbush and their children are all married in the Sephardi community. Ariel does part-time consulting as a computer programmer and studies in Kollel part-time.
Barbara’s Essence
Barbara is warm, smart, spiritual, grounded, and balanced. She describes herself as someone who loves people and learning about them. “I like to think I’m a good friend and listener – I get that from my mom.” She loves humor and having a good laugh.
Barbara has a wide-ranging curiosity and enjoys learning about diverse things. “I was always a bit artistic – I liked to draw, sew, crochet – but now my artistic side is mostly channeled into writing and cooking.”
Family and Career
After being introduced to Orthodox Judaism in Michigan and spending time in Israel, Barbara recognized that raising children in the Torah way was the only sane path. There was so much she had not known about Torah. “The psychology and human guidelines embedded in halacha are so much more relevant to a stable marriage and good parenting than secular concepts.”
Having completed her master’s in psychology, Barbara withdrew from the doctoral program (she finished all but the dissertation). The Michigan program was very research focused. Barbara wanted to do something more significant, family-friendly, and people oriented so she took a position as a foster care social worker at Ohel Children’s Home and Family Services. Barbara also taught ESL to Russian immigrants.
After her third child was born, Barbara gave up her Ohel job to be a full-time mother. She raised six children. When her youngest started school, she slowly began her entry into writing.
Why Journalism?
“I had so many ideas percolating in my head after all the changes in my life – non-religious to religious, out-of-towner to New Yorker, American-Ashkenazi background to Moroccan, marriage and six kids real fast. An editor saw my writing and began asking me for articles, and it took off.”
Barbara wrote a column on Sephardic food for Hamodia for several years and then joined Mishpacha Magazine and Jewish Action. She writes fiction serials in The Jewish Press and does editing, ghost writing, copywriting, and speaks at girls’ schools.
Barbara co-leads a book club for JWOW (jewishwomenofwisdom.org), an organization for the 55+ crowd.
Barbara strives to make her articles lively and creative. “Novels are much harder! It’s like putting all the pieces of a puzzle together.”
Her novel, Seven Blessings and a Murder, is a whodunit set in Jerusalem with an all-Sephardi cast. She published a preteen/teen novel, A New Song, with an important Sephardi presence, and a Sephardic culinary memoir entitled, A Well-Spiced Life. Pride and Preference is her best-selling novel, which transposed Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice into the shidduch scene of modern-day Brooklyn.
Barbara’s passions are her family, reading, writing, and making and eating great food!
She feels blessed that all her children and grandchildren are Torah-observant with beautiful middot.
Barbara is proud of the books and hundreds of articles she has written. She has interviewed Yitzhak Perlman, Elie Wiesel, Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis, Jacob Birnbaum, Rabbi Manis Friedman, Rabbi Joey Haber, Rabbi Armo Kuessous, and more. Her pieces included topics such as the Moroccan men who came to the Mir Yeshiva in the fifties and sixties and the Syrian women who took on greater observance under Rebbetzin Braunstein and Rabbi Raful.
Tremendous Loss
Barbara and Ariel underwent tremendous loss when their daughter, Mimi Chammah, a”h, and their grandson Ariel Shlomo Nahem, a”h, passed away over seven years ago.
“Mimi was smart, beautiful, funny, stylish, and everybody’s favorite morah. She was an amazing mom, cook, was wonderful with children and had immense wisdom about kids and people.”
Barbara wrote a tribute piece in Community to her daughter Mimi, and as an expression of gratitude to the community’s enormous efforts on her daughter’s behalf.
“The community is remarkable. They were there for us in spades when Mimi got sick and then for our grandson Ariel Shlomo Nahem.”
To unwind, Barbara reads, grabs a coffee with her husband or friends, and cooks.
Barbara’s Advice
Barbara’s parting advice: do what you love, and you won’t work a day in your life. Upgrade your skills continuously, be professional about deadlines, accept criticism, and roll with the punches.
Connect with Barbara at bensoussanbarbara@gmail.com and on LinkedIn.
Ellen Geller Kamaras, CPA/MBA, is an International Coach Federation (ICF) Associate Certified Coach. Her coaching specialties include life, career, and dating coaching. She can be contacted at ellen@lifecoachellen.com (www.lifecoachellen.com).