Hardly any Torah Jew goes through the Hanukah season without encountering the famous question posed the Bet Yosef – Maran Rav Yosef Karo (1488-1575), author of the Shulhan Aruch – regarding the eight-day celebration of this wonderful holiday.

As we know, Hanukah celebrates two miracles: 1) the supernatural triumph of a small, ill-equipped group of Jewish fighters over the mighty Greek army; 2) the small jug of pure oil which sustained the lamps of the menorah for eight nights. It is commonly assumed, for good reason, that specifically eight days of celebration were instituted due to this second miracle – the oil lasting for eight nights until a new supply of pure oil could be brought to the Bet Hamikdash.

The Bet Yosef asks, very simply, why we celebrate for eight days, given that the miracle occurred over the course of seven days. The Talmud states explicitly that the jug contained enough oil for one night. Hence, the miracle occurred only on the subsequent seven nights, but not on that first night. Seemingly, then, Hanukah should be celebrated not for eight days, but rather for seven days.

This question has yielded a vast, fascinating literature, with entire volumes having been published containing literally hundreds of answers, each of which has been debated and analyzed at length by Torah scholars.

I would like here to present one particular approach which claims that indeed, no miracle occurred on that first night when the menorah was kindled – but this first day nevertheless warrants a celebration because it is what led to the subsequent seven miraculous nights.

“Sleepy” Mitzvot

To explain how, we are going to take a brief detour away from Hanukah to the next holiday on our calendar – Purim.

When Haman approached Ahashverosh to request the king’s authorization for the Jews’ annihilation, he said, “Yeshno am ehad mefuzar umeforad ben ha’amim – There is one nation that is scattered and dispersed among the nations” (Ester 3:8). The Gemara (Megillah 13b) interprets the word “yeshno” to mean “yashnu min hamitzvot” – the Jews were “asleep” with regard to the mitzvot.

It seems that Haman here described the Jews’ laxity and disregard for the mitzvot, that they simply were not sufficiently committed to Torah observance. And, as such, they lacked the merits to be protected from his efforts to destroy them.

But why did Haman use the specific image of sleep? If he wanted to speak of the Jews’ neglect of the mitzvot, why he did he describe them as “sleeping”?

The answer might be that Haman was referring not to neglect, but to lethargy, to a lack of passion and rigor. The Jews indeed observed the mitzvot – but “sleepily,” to get them over with, as items on their checklist.

I am reminded of the time when somebody happened to mention to me that after so many years of putting on tefillin every weekday, he feels as though he could put them on his sleep.

I replied, “You do.”

Most men are basically asleep when they put on their tefillin. It’s of course exciting for a bar-mitzvah boy on the first day he wears tefillin, andthe next day, and the next couple of weeks, perhaps the next month or two – but eventually this mitzvah loses its luster, its excitement, and it becomes just another chore.

This, then, was Haman’s claim to Ahashverosh – that the Jews were vulnerable because their mitzvot were “sleepy,” lacking enthusiasm and zeal.

If so, then the Gemara is making a truly astonishing statement – that our lack of enthusiasm when performing mitzvot puts us at risk, that even if we obediently do what the Torah requires of us – like the Jews at the time of the Purim story – we could be undeserving of Gd’s protection if our observance is “sleepy.”

How does this work? Why is excitement for mitzvot such a critical factor?

Transcending the Cycle of Nature

The Ba’al Shem Tov (1698-1760) taught that Gd treats us in a manner that reflects the way we act. A famous verse in Tehillim (121:5) describes Hashem as our “shadow” (“Hashem tzilecha al yad yeminecha – Gd is your shadow on your right side”). A person’s shadow does precisely what the person does; if he outstretches his left arm, the shadow’s left arm will be outstretched. The same is true of Gd. If we act kindly and forgivingly toward others, Gd will act kindly and forgivingly toward us.

Another application of this rule relates to the emotion we invest in our avodat Hashem (service of Gd). It is natural for a person to lack excitement as he goes about his daily routine. Human nature is such that the things we do day in, and day out become uninteresting, and we do them mechanically, by rote, without joy and fervor. Our daily routines in this sense resemble the cycle of nature. We get up and go about our business just as the sun rises in the morning and sets in the afternoon, and like the leaves fall in the autumn and grow back in spring. We get up in the morning and go to the synagogue for shaharit just like nature runs its course.

Applying the Ba’al Shem Tov’s rule, then, we reach the conclusion that our “natural” observance of mitzvot results in Gd governing our lives according to the ordinary course of nature. If we follow the natural course – of going about our daily routine listlessly, without energy or enthusiasm – then Gd responds by subjecting our lives to the routine of the natural cycles.

There are times in our lives when the natural routines aren’t good enough, when we need a miracle that transcends the laws of nature. The doctors say there is no cure; the shadchanim say that there are no more eligible prospects; the industry has changed and the business is no longer profitable. We have all faced situations where the natural course wasn’t good enough, when we needed a miracle. And as a rabbi, I am sometimes approached by people asking me what they could do, how they can make themselves worthy of a miracle. When the regular service isn’t good enough, and we desperately need the “VIP service,” how do we access it?

The answer is that if we break our natural routine, then Gd will, in turn, transcend nature’s routine for us. We access Gd’s “VIP service” by giving Him, as it were, “VIP service,” by extending beyond our natural tendencies. If we perform our day-to-day mitzvot with energy, with vitality, with attentiveness, with enthusiasm – then He will be prepared to break the cycle of nature on our behalf.

When Sarah, our matriarch, learned that she would be conceiving at an advanced age, she laughed in disbelief, wondering how this was possible, given that “adoni zaken – my husband is elderly” (18:12). The deeper meaning of this verse might be that “adoni” – “my Master,” my service of Gd, the Master of the world – is “zaken” – “elderly,” old and stale, unenergetic and lethargic. Sara, like all righteous people, always strove to be better, to find room for improvement, and she felt that she invested insufficient joy and enthusiasm into her avodat Hashem. She therefore figured that she was undeserving of a miracle, of having the laws of nature transformed for her.

The Excitement of Hanukah

With this background, we can return to the question of why we celebrate the first night of Hanukah, when no miracle occurred.

The Bayit Hadash (Rav Yoel Sirkis, Poland, 1561-1640) writes that the Jews were deserving of the Greeks’ persecution “al shenitrashelu ba’avodah” – because of the listlessness of their service in the Mikdash. They performed the service – but dispassionately, without the focus and energy that it deserves. Gd therefore brought the Greeks who raided the Temple, defiled it, and prevented the Jews from using it.

In response, the Hashmonaim reignited their enthusiasm for mitzvot, and were determined to do everything they could to expel the Greeks and restore the service in the Mikdash. On that first night, when the Hashmonaim were finally given the opportunity – for the first time in several years – to perform the avodah (service), we can only imagine their excitement, the love and emotion with which they served. It was this fervor that led them to find the small jug of pure oil with which to kindle the menorah that night.

And it was this passion and excitement that made them deserving of the subsequent miracle. By performing the mitzvah that night with unparalleled enthusiasm, they became worthy of a miracle – and the oil lasted for the next seven nights.

This, perhaps, is the reason we celebrate the first night. No miracle happened on this night – but what did happen on this night brought the miracle that unfolded over the course of the next seven days. On the first night of Hanukah, we celebrate not the miracle of the oil – but the excitement and enthusiasm through which we were deserving of Gd’s supernatural treatment.

Hanukah, then, is a time for us to rejuvenate our mitzvah observance, to inject fervor into our mitzvah routine.

Our daily mitzvah regimen is a great blessing – but also a great challenge. The daily prayers, and even the weekly observance of Shabbat, can become uninteresting and dull. As we light the Hanukah candles, let us try to reignite within ourselves the fire of passion and enthusiasm. Let us follow the example of the Hashmonaim, the example of unbridled devotion and rigor. Let us remind ourselves how privileged we are to be chosen as Gd’s loyal servants, and commit to serve Him to the best of our ability and at the highest standards every day of our lives.

Ellen Kamaras

More than ever, parents are intent on raising resilient children who are equipped to face life’s challenges, both present and future.

Resilience is not a new concept. However, recent events have made us realize the importance of cultivating resiliency. Think back to the uncertainty stemming from the pandemic, the spike in anti-Semitism even before 2020, and the events of October 7^th and the resulting anti-Israel response.

We are raising our children in a rapidly evolving world, one that is very different than the one we grew up in. How can we prepare them to succeed? How can we avoid passing on our own anxiety and discomfort with uncertainty to our children?

Resilience and Pivoting

Let’s provide some context before we delve into strategies.

The words “resilience” and “pivot” became the buzz words of the year in 2020 as individuals, businesses, and not-for-profit organizations assessed their responses to the pandemic and navigated the required changes to their lives and processes. Both concepts were practiced in tandem as we adapted to the new normal.

As Jews, resilience became an essential tool to fight rising anti-Semitism after Hamas viciously attacked and killed more than 1,200 innocent men, women, and children on October 7th. Our resilience required not only perseverance but also the ability to adapt to adverse events.

What is resilience? It is the ability to cope with and recover from setbacks. It is about bouncing back from adversity, learning from setbacks, and adapting to continuous change.

A resilient person has strong coping skills, can marshal their available resources, ask for help when needed, and find ways to manage the situation they are facing.

Pivoting is the process of changing direction when the current strategy is not working. Just like a GPS recalibrates when we take a wrong turn, we have learned to recalibrate and pivot our strategies for surviving daily.

A Hot Topic

Parents and children are living in a world that is in a perpetual state of flux. When change is the norm, adaptability and resilience are critical tools for survival and for strong mental health. We experience global events such as wars, fires, hurricanes, economic fluctuations, technological shifts, and more.

The only thing we can know with certainty is that life will keep throwing us curveballs.

So it is crucial to help our kids develop their resilience and agility.

Home Sweet Home

Let’s start with the home. Kids need to feel safe and secure in their home environment not only physically but also emotionally. Parents want their children to feel safe and comfortable with who they are.

Ideally, we want our children to develop a secure attachment style.  A secure attachment style is created when a child feels confident that their caregiver will be able to provide comfort and safety in times of stress. This pattern of trust continues as they grow into adulthood, generally creating positive, close relationships.

Create a safe space where your kids can explore who they are, share their feelings, and discover what is important to them. This means establishing a stable home environment with structure, routine, and security.For example, kids benefit from predictable schedules for meals, bedtime, play time, and family time.

We want our children to feel safe emotionally at home. To do this we must create a non-judgmental haven. Let kids know they can discuss any issue, big or small, without feeling judged. This means encouraging siblings to make home a judgment-free zone for everyone.

Work on building your children’s self-esteem. Acknowledge and applaud their efforts and accomplishments. Help them learn that mistakes are opportunities for growth. 

Current Events and Exposure to Media

Practice open communication about current events and concerns. Actively listen and be present when your child articulates fears or anxieties. (Yes, put your phone away.) Respond to questions honestly and in as clear and simple terms as you can. Do not dismiss or minimize their worries.

Limiting your children’s exposure to media stressors can help to reduce their anxiety.

Be aware of their media consumption and exposure to adult conversations that might increase their anxiety. 

In discussing current events and other concerns, first think about what you want to say. Strive for clarity, and adjust what you say to what your kids can handle. No easy feat! 

You can start by asking your child what they have heard.  It is preferable to hear about very difficult topics such as death, trauma, or anti-Semitism, from Mom or Dad rather than from another child.  Next, ask your children if they have any questions and how they feel about what has happened. Older kids may ask more questions than younger ones. 

Use age-appropriate but real language.  It is okay if you do not have all the answers or you cannot make predictions.  You can say, “I don’t know the answer, but we could research it.” Determine what your child is really asking.  Do they want more information, or do they need reassurance that you will keep them safe? 

Even your preschoolers may hear about tragic or catastrophic events or have overheard news reports.  Do not assume they have not been exposed.

Provide Space for Questions and Fears

When we help our children navigate the present, we can help them prepare for a lifetime of unknowns.  Give them space to express how uncertainty feels and model calmness.  Clinical psychologist and Professor of Psychology at Roosevelt University in Chicago, Dr. Steven Myers says, “You can certainly talk about possible or likely outcomes. You can even talk about what you hope will happen. But trying to protect your child from uncertainty altogether is not helpful to them.”  

Share basic information and avoid graphic or unnecessary details about tragic situations.  Keep young kids away from graphic and violent images and sounds that pop up on TV and the internet.  Radio news can include violence and frightening information. You may want to switch it off when your young kids are in the car. Be aware of what is out there and talk to your children about what they may hear or see.

It is key for parents to reassure their children that it is normal for scary things to bother them.

Follow up to see if your kids have more questions and notice any difficulties they may be experiencing. Are they having nightmares, are they extra clingy or emotional? 

Mamdani Anxiety

How have you tackled with your kids the election of the first Muslim mayor who has a long history of anti-Israel and pro-Palestinian activism?

A day before the election, the NY Jewish community teemed with anxiety about Mamdani. A day after the election, Rabbi Shlomo Farhi of Manhattan posted a video full of hizuk, positivity, and emunah. We have faced worst and won. He told parents that we do not get to be afraid. We will do what we have to do to keep our families safe. Children look to their parents for safety.

Modeling for Our Kids

Modeling coping strategies and calm behavior to our children is crucial to raising resilient kids. A great resource is the book Between Parents and Child by Dr. Haim Ginott. Published in 1965 and revised and updated in 2003, it is still relevant today, offering a framework for empathetic yet disciplined child rearing. One of his important lessons is about modeling. Dr. Ginott taught that the best way to teach children manners was by using them yourself in their presence.

The American Academy of Pediatrics’ website HealthyChildren.org provides guidance that is consistent with Dr. Ginott. “Children learn by watching everyone around them, especially their parents. When you use manners and good coping strategies, you teach your children to do the same.”

Explain to your children how you deal with your own normal anxieties.

Overcoming Fears Gradually

In addition to anxieties regarding current events, your children may be dealing with other fears. Encourage your children to face their fears gradually. This means supporting them to do what makes them apprehensive, one step at a time, at their own pace. Gradual exposure to something we fear can help us to maintain control and to conquer that fear. It may not be as frightening as you thought. If you panic getting into an elevator one day, for example, try getting back into one the next day and just go up one floor. Remember that anxiety isn’t harmful. Your body’s response to fear, such as sweaty palms or an accelerated heartbeat, is normal. These responses are intended to protect you from danger. It’s beneficial to validate feelings but limit excessive or constant reassurance.

The problem with reassurance is that, in the short term, it decreases your anxiety. However, in the long term, it creates a vicious cycle that worsens your anxiety and increases your need for more reassurance. It may reinforce that you are unable to tolerate the discomfort of the uncertainty.

Focus on building your child’s confidence in his/her ability to cope.

Instead of fixing problems for your children, guide them to think through solutions and ask what they could try next time. 

SIDEBAR: Approaches for Teaching Problem-Solving Skills to Children

Set a good example. Let your children see how you deal with problems.

Involve your child in family problem-solving meetings and encourage him/her to join in solving a small family problem.

Encourage your child to solve their own problems. Standby with support if needed.

Teach your child the following steps:

• State the problem clearly.
• Brainstorm together for some possible solutions.
• Choose what seems like the best solution.
• Try out the solution.
• Review how the solution worked and make any necessary changes.

Ellen Geller Kamaras, CPA/MBA, is an International Coach Federation (ICF) Associate Certified Coach.  Her coaching specialties include life, career, and dating coaching.  Ellen can be contacted at ellen@lifecoachellen.com(www.lifecoachellen.com).

QUESTION: 

Dear Rabbi Ali,

I have a hard time when my husband comes home from work. I need his help as I have been with the kids from the time they come home from school. I believe he should pitch in and do something instead of going to the couch and scrolling on his phone. Is there any way to get through to him that he should help?

R’ Ali’s Response: 

Although your question is concerning how to get your husband to help out, I will address both women and men, as this situation is fairly common. I hear complaints from men regarding the demands made of them, as well.

The first point I’d like to make is that this shouldn’t turn into an issue of wrong and right, into who is the bigger victim. Many couples will debate this to no end. A wife will say that she is home with kids and needs some assistance or attention, and the husband will say that he had such a long day at work providing for the family, and needs to unwind.

Many people take it further and debate whose work is harder, which gets nowhere. The truth is that in many cases they’re both right! (or their complaints are valid). But each is right, not about who works harder, but rather that they both have a need. The man needs to unwind after a long day of work and the wife needs assistance, especially with younger children. Understanding this and discussing this with your spouse as an issue that “we” have and not a “me versus you” issue is definitely the first step towards a viable solution.

Actually, this point is not exclusive to this specific scenario. Many arguments revolve around this theme. One spouse would like to leave early for a wedding, while the other prefers to leave later. They are both different people with different preferences. One will say that coming on time is proper and coming late is not right to the family of the simha. The other will say it’s very uncomfortable to be there early and makes them feel out of place. Many times there is no wrong and right and what is at stake is only a matter of preference. Accepting each other’s differences and working together towards something that makes both parties happy is not that complicated. As I have mentioned, approaching this as an issue that “we” have is much more productive and logical.

One more point before I give you practical advice. Men should understand how hard their wives work and how stressful it is to take care of a house. This includes having dinner ready for a family, keeping a clean house, and supervising homework and bedtime. Women, as well, should understand that men work very hard to support a family. This includes physical and mental exhaustion, many times leaving him unable to “jump in” and help out right away. When both husband and wife truly understand their spouse’s hardships, they will be more sympathetic and gentler while approaching this situation, and of course, many other situations.

So, now what? Well, one very simple idea for you as the wife would be to tell your husband, “ I know you work hard and have a long day, and I am so appreciative. I do need your help or attention when you get home from work. But I also understand that you need time to unwind. Can you give me an amount of time that you need to unwind and after that be available?”

Now, of course, there’s no one-size-fits-all. Every couple will need to be honest and reasonable with the amount of time. When done right I know many people who do this with much success. And vice versa, a man reading this should let his wife know how he understands her and how much he wants to help. He should be able to let his wife know that he needs some time to unwind. 

To conclude, both husband and wife should be realistic in this scenario and all scenarios, for that matter. To say I need four hours to unwind is not reasonable. And for a wife to give a list of endless demands is unreasonable, as well. With some thought and consideration be’ezrat Hashem, you will have a wonderful relationship.

Eddie Esses 

In a year that will long be remembered as a turning point in our community’s civic life, the Sephardic Community Federation (SCF) led an extraordinary effort to mobilize, register, and empower the Syrian Sephardic community as never before. What began as a bold voter registration drive this summer evolved into a historic show of unity and influence that has now firmly established our community as a powerful voice in New York politics. 

From Vision to Historic Results

 The voter registration campaign was spearheaded by Haim Dabah, Marshall Aronow, and Jimmy Salame alongside Senator Sam Sutton and SCF leaders Ronnie Tawil, Eddie Esses, Joey Saban, Joe Mansour, Charles Chakkalo, and Sari Setton. They worked alongside the ground team led Linda Ebani and Rebecca Harary and a phone baking team led by Pascale Kamagi. The campaign began with an inspiring meeting in August at Haim Dabah’s home in Deal, NJ. That evening, leaders from our schools, synagogues, and institutions gathered to launch what would become a movement. Meaningful funding was raised on the spot, and a clear mission was set – to ensure that every member of our community was registered to vote and ready to make their voice heard.

Through tireless coordination and daily meetings, the SCF and its partners carried out a sweeping, multifaceted campaign that included rabbinical proclamations, registration mandates in schools and synagogues, door-to-door outreach, community event tables, and an extensive text-banking program.

The results were truly historic: approximately 15,000 new community members registered to vote, raising the total number of registered community voters from about 25,000 to about 40,000. While an estimated 15,000 community members remain unregistered, the SCF continues its work to reach and register every eligible voter.

Record-Breaking Turnout

The impact of this effort was felt immediately. In the November citywide elections, 43,911 voters turned out in Midwood/Flatbush and our community recorded the large majority of these voters – likely surpassing any previous turnout in our history, including major presidential elections. Total community turnout tripled compared to the previous city election, and our early voting numbers ranked among the top three districts in all of New York City.

The data tells a powerful story: four of the five highest-performing districts for Andrew Cuomo were areas that include our community. This demonstrated beyond doubt that the Sephardic community has become one of the most organized and potent voting blocs in New York. Elected officials across the city and state have taken notice.

Beyond the mayoral race, the community’s influence was reflected strongly as every other SCF endorsed candidate won their race, including Councilmembers Simcha Felder and Inna Vernikov, both longtime friends of our community, as well as Comptroller-elect Mark Levine, a strong ally.

Influence in Action 

The strength of our new civic presence became clear just days after the election. On November 5th, when swastikas were found in front of Magen David Yeshivah, State Senator Sam Sutton and District Leader Joey Saban immediately mobilized state leaders and organized a press conference within hours. They were joined by a large group of elected officials – including Governor Kathy Hochul and Senate Deputy Leader Mike Gianaris – who announced $20 million in new security funding for religious schools.

This extraordinary response did not happen by chance. It was the product of over two decades of relationship-building by the SCF and its partners, alongside the hard work of Teach NYS, which was founded by the SCF to advocate for our yeshivot and institutions. This is what real influence looks like – when our voice is heard, our concerns are respected, and tangible results are delivered for our families.

 The Road Ahead 

The groundwork laid this year will serve as the foundation for the years to come – especially as we look toward the 2026 statewide elections, which will include races for Governor, State Senate, State Assembly, and Congress. With the growing civic infrastructure built by the SCF, and with the possibility of one or two of our own community members appearing on the ballot, the next chapter of our political journey is poised to be even more significant.

The transformation of the Sephardic community’s civic engagement in just a few short months is nothing short of extraordinary. Through the vision of Haim Dabah, Marshall Aronow, and Jimmy Salame, the leadership of the SCF and Linda Ebani, the unity of our institutions and Rabbis, and of course Hashem’s help, our community has demonstrated what is possible when we come together with purpose, strategy, and faith.

Eddie Esses has been extremely active in community political activism for years. He is a board member of SCF and deputy chief of staff to Senator Sam Sutton.

Rabbi Zamir Cohen

This month we will celebrate the holiday of Hanukah.

As a person matures, he develops a more profound understanding of the insights he acquired in his childhood and builds on them. For example, we cannot compare the Torah we learned in elementary school to our in-depth study with the Torah commentaries as adults.

It is the same with Hanukah. When we were young, we learned a superficial and shallow view of the Hasmoneans. Now the time has come to understand them in a more profound way.

What the Rambam Tells Us About Hanukah

Let us begin with the Rambam’s words at the beginning of the Laws of Hanukah. He writes as follows:

“In [the era of] the Second Temple, the Greek kingdom issued decrees against the Jewish people to nullify their faith and prevent them from observing the Torah and its commandments. They [the Greeks] extended their hands against their [the Jews’] property and their daughters; they entered the Sanctuary, wrought havoc within, and made the sacraments impure.

“The Jews suffered great difficulties from them, for they oppressed them greatly until the Gd of our ancestors had mercy upon them, delivered them from their hand, and saved them. The sons of the Hasmoneans, the High Priests, overcame [them], slew them, and saved the Jews from their hand.

“They appointed a king from the priests, and sovereignty returned to Israel for more than 200 years, until the destruction of the Second Temple. When the Jews overcame their enemies and destroyed them, they entered the Sanctuary; this was on the twenty-fifth of Kislev. They could not find any pure oil in the Sanctuary, with the exception of a single cruse that contained enough oil to burn for merely one day. They lit lights from it for eight days until they could crush olives and produce pure oil.”

Two Miracles

From the Rambam’s words we can see that the Greeks’ main reason for waging war against the Jewish people was to destroy their unique Jewish identity, and this was why the Hasmoneans went to war against them. The Rambam also explains why we celebrate eight days: because that was the minimum time necessary in those days to produce oil and bring it to the Temple. Once they had produced the required amount of oil, there was no need for a further change in the laws of nature. The fire that had burned miraculously from the small amount of oil went out, and it was possible to use the new oil to light the Temple Menorah.

Actually, two miracles occurred on Hanukah: the first miracle was as we say in our prayers: “You gave over the strong into the hands of the weak, and the many into the hands of the few.” The second was the miracle of the cruse of oil: a small jug with pure oil sufficient to burn for only one day was found with the stamp of the High Priest but miraculously the oil burned for eight days in a row.

The Real Maccabees

Today, when describing the events of Hanukah, there are those who present things in a very skewed light. Judah Maccabee is frequently illustrated as a muscular man with a shock of hair blowing in the wind, without a beard, and with a defiant look in his eyes – as if he were an Attila the Hun. The historical fact is that Judah Maccabee was a completely different type of person. He and his brothers were Gd-fearing men and Torah scholars who realized that the Greeks were destroying the people spiritually and corrupting them morally. When Judah Maccabee and his brothers saw that there were Jews who were failing this difficult trial and were becoming Hellenists and behaving like gentiles, their hearts bled. They decided to take a stand and wage a battle that had no logical hope of succeeding. The entire campaign against the Greeks was a battle over the spiritual existence of the Jewish people.

Maccabee is an acronym of the words Mi kamocha b’elim Hashem which means, “Who is like You among the powerful, Gd?” This is the slogan that they chose as a rallying call to launch their war. After all, what did Antiochus want? Unlike Haman, who wanted to destroy, kill, and exterminate all Jews, Antiochus did not seek to kill the Jews’ bodies but rather their souls. He wanted them to abandon their religion. If the Jews had come to Haman or Hitler and told them that they were ready to change their religion, these mortal enemies would not have given up on their programs of extermination. Their goal was to eradicate any remnant of the Jewish nation, Gd forbid. Antiochus, however, did not want to wipe out the Jews, he only wanted to wipe out Judaism. He wanted us to adopt the Greek culture.

Greek Culture Versus Our Culture

Much of Western culture that we see today has its source in Greece. The word “Olympics” comes from the sacred Greek site Olympia, where the ancient Olympic games were held. The word “stadium” derives Greek as well, and the cult of the body comes from Greece. The Maccabees fought this worldview against all odds, and with full confidence in Gd’s assistance.

Judaism teaches us that it is important to keep our bodies healthy, so we can fulfill our spiritual goals according to the Torah, and to live happily and with contentment in This World and in the World to Come. But our body must not become an object of worship.

Logically, the war led by a handful of Torah scholars against the powerful and trained Greek army was a war they had no chance of winning. But from the moment they were willing to sacrifice themselves for Heaven – victory was theirs. And for this we praise and thank Gd and say: “You gave over the strong into the hands of the weak, and the many into the hands of the few.”

Ellen Geller Kamaras

“Everyday life lights me up. Each morning, I say thank you to Hashem for my beautiful family, my amazing friends, and, of course, being able to do my work with seniors at DSN.” ~~ Sherry ~~

Please meet Sherry Schreiber. Sherry is a warm, passionate, and vibrant woman – a wife, mother, and grandmother. Her current niche and passion center on running the Deal Sephardic Network (DSN) seniors program and bringing joy and laughter to Jersey Shore seniors.

Of Syrian descent, Sherry was born Victoria Sherry and is the oldest daughter of Rae and Moishe Doueck. Sherry is named her after her maternal grandmother, Victoria. Rae added a less formal nickname, Sherry, as a middle name. “Sherry” stuck as the name she’s called by, ever since she was a baby.

Both Rae and Moishe were American born. Sherry has two older brothers, Jacques and Steve, and a younger sister Lisa Hidary. Sherry greatly values her close relationship with her siblings and their families.

“I was definitely not a serious or shy child.” Sherry says she was mischievous and very social. She loved being involved in Beth Teens, a Beth Torah Congregation youth group led by Gitta Sultan, a”h. “I participated in the plays and hesed projects organized by Gitta, a very special woman. After my mother, Gitta deeply influenced the woman I am today.”

Although Sherry liked school, she admits that she wasn’t the easiest student and didn’t always play by the rules. Then she became a teacher and had to enforce the rules herself.

Sherry’s childhood memories were formed in her home near Ocean Parkway and Avenue S in Brooklyn. By the time Sherry graduated eighth grade, she had attended four elementary schools including Ahi Ezer. Her mom had concerns about Sherry’s safety at her first school, so she enrolled Sherry in Ahi Ezer for a few years. Unfortunately, the Ahi Ezer building burned down, and Sherry moved to Boody Junior High School and then completed her grade school education at P.S. 238. Kudos to Sherry who was a resilient child and was able to make friends easily and complete her studies successfully. Two of her close friends today are women she met during fourth grade at Ahi Ezer.

After graduating from Lincoln High School early and with honors, Sherry obtained a teaching degree from Brooklyn College.

Her Essence

Sherry describes herself as funny, energetic, and giving of herself and her time. She loves to cook and feed people. She is also warm, bubbly, and a real people person.

“Everyday life lights me up. Each morning I say thank you to Hashem for my beautiful family, my amazing friends, and, of course, being able to do my work at DSN.”

Her current job running the DSN seniors program with Stephanie Massry fulfills her greatly. “Stephanie and I work so well together. I love the way the seniors are excited to be at DSN. I love how their family members tell us how happy they are. They are all my family.”

Sherry’s mother is her key role model. “My mom, Rae Doueck, a”h, taught me never to be afraid to work hard, and to always put your complete self into everything you do. I learned hesed from my father, Moishe Doueck, a”h, who was always visiting someone, doing bikur holim. I think of him when I volunteer my time.”

Then Came Marriage

After graduating college, Sherry became a public school teacher and took a part-time job at Crazy Eddie, a long-gone electronics chain. She worked there during its heyday, in charge of cash collections and preparing sandwiches for employees at several of the stores.

Crazy Eddie was where Sherry met her naseeb, Howie Schreiber, a”h, the love of her life. Nine years older than Sherry, Howie was known as an outstanding salesman and for his fabulous smile. “He was loved by all.” Sadly, Howie passed away a year ago after a two-year illness stemming from complications from back surgery

Sherry and Howie shared the same upbeat and positive outlook. Howie was Ashkenazi, his parents were divorced, and he had few family members living in New York. He loved the Sephardic customs and adopted them fully. He was also friendly with many of his Sephardic colleagues.

Howie was with Crazy Eddie during the good years and left before the company’s problems surfaced.

The couple got married at Shaarei Zion Synagogue and lived in Brooklyn for a year and a half. They bought a house in Oakhurst in 1977. Sherry gave up her job, and they started their family. They were blessed with three daughters, three wonderful sons-in-law, and eleven grandchildren. Sherry’s children live in the Deal community. In memory of their father, the family donated three coffee carts to the West Deal Shul. Friends and family who go there can say, “We had coffee with Howie.”

After leaving Crazy Eddie, Howie worked in children’s wear for a couple of years and became Shomer Shabbat during that time. Sherry was excited to keep Shabbat.

It was around that time that Howie met Charlie Saka, a”h, a brilliant entrepreneur and magnanimous philanthropist at the West Deal Shul. When Charlie talked to Howie, he smiled at him and said, “I want you to work for me.” That began Howie’s 30 plus year career at Sakar International as Charlie’s first salesman and right-hand man.

Balancing Career and Home Life

When Sherry had two young children at home, she took over a Mommy and Me group from her sister and turned it into a summer preschool program called “Sherry Schreiber Playgroup.” For 27 years, she had over 20 children in her house and backyard from 9:30am to 12:30pm. Perks for the kids included a hot and healthy lunch and lots of love and fun. There was even a wait list to get into the playgroup. Sherry frequently bumps into adults who had been her students who still remember her.

Keeping several balls in the air, Sherry had a job as a receptionist in a Brooklyn hair salon in the afternoon after playgroup. She drew upon her mother’s example of not fearing hard work and achieved balance for her family.

Around seven years ago, Sherry received a call from DSN, asking if she would teach a weekly cooking class to seniors. Within a few months, she became the co-director of the seniors program along with Stephannie Massry.

Passions

Personally, Sherry is impassioned and immensely proud of her children and grandchildren.

Professionally, she thrives on watching the DSN seniors laugh and enjoy their lunch, chair exercise, and other activities. Hearing positive feedback from the families and caregivers gives Sherry an energy boost. During the pandemic, Sherry and Stephanie set up a Zoom program for seniors using donated iPad’s. They even got Yaakov Shwekey to sing for the seniors on Zoom.

One of Sherry’s biggest challenges is when one of the seniors passes away. “They become my family, and their loss really hurts.”

To enhance and maximize the seniors’ experience at DSN, Sherry uses her creativity to find fun giveaways as gifts for Bingo and other games.

Community volunteer work has always been a key component of Sherry’s life. She volunteers for the Morris Franco Cancer Center. She appreciates the amazing group of volunteers who help her at DSN.

“Our community is awesome and unique. They are there for everyone, in bad times and good times.”

Her key to success? “Always try to be happy and keep doing what I love.”

For relaxation and fun, Sherry plays Mahjong with friends and enjoys connecting with them for dinner.

Tips for Students

Try to follow your dreams. If you do what you love, it will never be work. As for family caregivers, enjoy your loved one while you can.

You can connect with Sherry at vs94@aol.com and follow DSN on Instagram.

Ellen Geller Kamaras, CPA/MBA, is an International Coach Federation (ICF) Associate Certified Coach.  Her coaching specialties include life, career, and dating coaching.  Ellen can be contacted at ellen@lifecoachellen.com.