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“Heritage Distilled”– Community Staple Zachlawi Arak – Now an Award Recipient

Victor Cohen 

Zachlawi Arak is special brand that is sure to fill up shelves and be stocked up on for celebrations. The brand is notable within the niche of high quality, flavored arak and has now been taken to a high level of international notoriety. 

Zachlawi’s iconic Fig Arak is the recipient of the 2024 Gold Medal SIP Award under the Ouzo/Raki category. The SIP Awards, a yearly drink quality competition judged by consumers, has thrown its weight behind a small, community-friendly brand. (To learn more about the SIP awards visit https://sipawards.com/results/.) 

 

Zachlawi Arak: Humble Beginnings 

Zachlawi Arak was founded within our community in 1998. It got its start with a homemade brew labeled Mor-Doch 501 Arak, which, as the back label of the original bottle read, was made in a “continuous effort to get closer to our very rich heritage.” This played a part in Zachlawi Arak’s main tagline: Heritage Distilled. 

Zachlawi first struck gold with the introduction of the Cherry Arak, a legend in its time. This really pushed Zachlawi to the forefront of the flavored arak market. While Arak might be too tough to drink straight, the flavor softened it, producing a more tasteful harmony. Zachlawi noted that it may reintroduce the flavor in the future. 

Zachlawi’s foundation in heritage plays a significant role in its overall philosophy. The community has reciprocated that foundation in a creative fashion. 

Community members have dubbed for The Zachlawi Pistachio Martini “The Mediterranean Martini.” It has three ingredients: pistachio arak, honey, and almond milk. (Loosen the honey with water.) Once, “shaken not stirred” over ice, it is the perfect “Shrob al Loz.” (Shrob is a traditional cocktail served at engagement parties as almonds are a biblical sign of quick ripening and bearing fruit) 

This creative display perfectly highlights the relationship Zachlawi has with the community. It blends together, producing heritage-based goodness. 

 

The Award Winner: Fig Arak 

In 2005, the Fig Arak hit the shelves as a timeless hit. It is still served at Shabbat tables, celebrations, and even the occasional mazza gathering. Even though I am partial to the Pistachio Arak, the Fig Arak is an iconic and notable drink, well-deserving of its Gold Medal award. 

Fig Arak might also be Zachlawi’s entree into the broader Jewish world. While Zachlawi has always been iconic inside of our community, the brand, and arak as a whole, began breaking into other communities through both word of mouth and creative marketing, especially within Ashkenazi circles. Zachlawi sees the Fig Arak and the other flavors as a good way to introduce others to our unique, heritage-based drink. 

For many, classic arak is a difficult drink to get into due to its sharpness and sting. The flavored araks, however, provide an opportunity to bring a much softer, flavorful drink to a broader audience. The SIP Awards stamp of approval of Fig Arak also goes a long way in contributing to that path forward to the international community. 

An added plus is that many flavors under Zachlawi are Kosher for Pesach. That in itself creates a very strong market around Pesach time, and might serve as a valuable entry point for other communities. 

 

Zachlawi: The Future 

Zachlawi has not only taken ownership of its niche in the world of arak, but has also expanded its influence and grown with the addition of different flavors.  

The 2024 SIP Award for the Fig Arak confirms what most of us have known for a long time. This “Heritage Distilled” brand, a community-friendly drink, is truly top of the line. From the humble, home-brewed beginnings to the juggernaut it has become today, Zachlawi Arak is inextricably woven into the fabric of our heritage, and will continue to play a big role in our community – and beyond – for years to come. 

Sailing Relationships with R’ Ali

QUESTION:   

Dear Rabbi Ali, 

I feel sort of stuck in my marriage. Whenever our family gets together, I notice how my sister’s husband helps out with the kids and gets her whatever she needs. Then, I notice that my husband doesn’t help out or jump up to get what I need. My husband is a good guy, but I wish he would help out more. Is there anything that I can do? 

 

R’ ALI’S RESPONSE: 

There is plenty that you can do with proper communication. However, I’d like to mention a different point that you bring up that is the cause of much frustration for couples and that is the plague of comparing 

The truth is, the downside of comparing applies to all areas of our lives. However, I want to focus on the points that pertain to marriage. First, it’s important to realize that what you see may not be what’s really going on. You may see a husband who is helping out with the kids. Do you know if his wife gets angry at him if he doesn’t help or that maybe he’s very resentful and feels forced and frustrated? There’s no reason to assume anything negative. My point is that you have no idea what goes on behind closed doors.  

Perhaps the husband in this case is genuinely helpful and even does so happily. However, you’re seeing couples when they are on their best behavior. People usually put on a good show in front of others. What goes on behind closed doors for the most part is an entirely different act than what goes on in front of other people. 

I don’t want to sound negative, and the point here is not to think negatively about others. However, you may be jealous or envious of something that’s not even there.  

Also, maybe this husband is great with the kids and with helping – but there could be other areas of their marriage that are not so enviable, such as the way he and his wife interact. This is something I frequently see when counseling couples. A man will complain that his wife is very negative, and it frustrates him, but she does a lot and has many good qualities. He thinks, “If only my wife could be more positive then things would be so much better.” He is unaware that every marriage needs work. I will then talk with another man whose wife is very positive and never complains. However, she can’t take care of the kids and also cook, it’s too much for her. So, he eats take-out every night. 

Know that every couple will have their own unique struggles or areas that they need to work on. No one is immune from having to work on their marriage. The trick is to focus on the positive and the good that your spouse does and to try not to get bogged down with the negative. 

Many times, we tend to decide what we think is “normal” in a relationship and base it on what we see in society or with friends and family. We make an assumption and demand “normalcy” from our spouse. People will say, “all wives do this,” or “all husbands do that.” This is very damaging. In general, there is no normal when it comes to marriage. Every couple has their own unique dynamics and should determine what works for them.  

“Normal” in marriage is generally what works for you, not necessarily for others. Of course, there are things that are unacceptable and dangerous, but I’m not addressing those cases. 

A man told me recently that he and his wife only talk about serious things, such as children and finances. He said he was fine with it, but he was wondering if it’s normal. I explained that if it works for you it’s “your normal.” Maybe for another couple that doesn’t work and they would need to figure out how to make things work better for them. 

To conclude, every marriage needs work, and no two marriages are the same. Focus on your situation and stop comparing yourselves to others and you will be much happier and will enjoy smooth sailing shalom bayit. 

Riddles – August 2024

RIDDLE: Name Game
Submitted by: Ezra W.
There is a woman in a boat. On a lake wearing a coat. If you want to know her name, it’s in the riddle I just wrote. What is the woman’s name.

Last Month’s Riddle: The Missing Dollar
Three friends check into a hotel room that costs $30. They each contribute $10. Later, the hotel manager realizes there was a mistake -the room should have only cost $25. The manager gives $5 to the bellboy and asks him to return it to the guests. The bellboy, however, decides to keep $2 for himself and gives $1 back to each guest. Now, each guest has paid $9 (totaling $27) and the bellboy has $2, making a total of $29. What happened to the missing dollar?

Solution: The answer lies in how the problem is framed. The guests didn’t pay $27; they paid $25 for the room and $2 to the bellboy. There is no missing dollar – it’s just a matter of how the numbers are presented.

Solved by: Greg Kaplan, The Blum Family, The Shmulster, Big Mike, Jacob Cohen, Lisa G., and Marc Tawil.

JUNIOR RIDDLE: Shared Ownership
Submitted by: Barbra H.
What belongs to you, but everyone else uses more than you?

Last Month’s Junior Riddle: Common Cents
In my hand, I have two coins that are newly minted. Together, they total 30 cents. One isn’t a nickel. What are the coins?

Solution: A quarter and a nickel!

Solved by: Emanuel Katnov, Orly Mamrout, Family Blum, Jacob Cohen, Hindy W., Big Mike, Alan Dwek, and Raphael Katnov.

Ocean Township GOP Elects Magen David Yeshivah Graduate Isaac Shiram As Its Chairman

The Ocean Township GOP committee unanimously elected Isaac Shiram, 25, to serve as Chairman at its recent re-organization meeting.

Shiram recently served as District Director for New Jersey State Assemblywomen Marilyn Piperno and Kim Eulner from 2022 to 2024.

“I am honored to have been elected by the Ocean Township Republican Committee to serve as Chair” said Shiram. “It’s so important to bring new members with diverse voices to the table. I’m thankful for all the support and I look forward to working with our Monmouth County Republican leadership and fellow Committee members to support candidates that prioritize the residents of Ocean Township.”

Elected Republican leaders endorsed Shiram’s candidacy and pledged to work with him to grow the party. “I have gotten to know Isaac well these past couple of years and was proud to support his election as Chair of our Committee,” said Monmouth County Clerk Christine G. Hanlon.

“As a young Republican from a diverse background, Isaac provides a unique and valuable perspective within our greater Monmouth County Republican Committee. I wish him well as he works to build on the successes of outgoing Chair Tom Fitterer.”

Isaac lives in Ocean Township with his family. Currently, he serves as a Confidential Aide to Monmouth County Commissioner Erik Anderson. Isaac received his Bachelor of Arts in Political Science from CUNY Brooklyn College, and attended Magen David Yeshivah High School.

 

Sephardic Community Federation Plays Pivotal Role to Help Elect Kalman Yeger to NY State Assembly

The SCF (Sephardic Community Federation) and the Flatbush Jewish Community Coalition (FJCC) mobilized voters last month to deliver a decisive victory for Councilman Kalman Yeger to succeed retiring Assemblywoman Helene Weinstein, who has served the community with distinction for over 40 years.

In one of the busiest weeks for the community, with schools out and families preparing for camp and summer vacation, the community heeded the call and delivered landslide results. Yeger will appear on November’s ballot and does not face any other party’s opposition.

Councilman Yeger, now the nominee for State Assembly, said, “I am incredibly grateful to our community for standing tall and showing up to vote, and to the SCF, FJCC, and partners for their leadership in coordinating a robust GOTV effort. I look forward to continuing to fight every day for my constituents, now at City Hall and soon in Albany. Come January, our community will have a strong group of assembly members fighting on behalf of the Jewish community statewide.”

Josh Mehlman, Chairman of the FJCC, added, “The Flatbush community recognized the critical importance of this primary election and came out to vote, despite the calendar. We are thankful to our partners – the Sephardic Community Federation, the Marine Park leadership, and the dedicated shul leaders throughout the district who worked diligently to increase turnout.”

 

A Day of Family Fun at the 10th Annual Jersey Shore Hatzalah Carnival

The 10th Annual Carnival of the Hatzalah of the Jersey Shore was held at the JCC in Deal, NJ, on Sunday, July 14th. The first Hatzalah Carnival was created not only to spread Hatzalah’s message of togetherness and community safety, but also to give the community a day of fun and ahdut (unity).

Each year the Carnival gets bigger and better, due to all the volunteers’ dedicated work, which starts every year the very day after that year’s Carnival.

The action-packed day featured a petting zoo, pony rides, a dunk tank, amusement rides, games, prizes, special treats like ices and cotton candy, and a BBQ hosted by the Hatzalah members. On site were ambulances, open for the public to take a look inside.

We are all familiar with the life-saving work of Hatzalah. Hatzalah’s EMTs also strive to be a support for the community and to promote safety education, including safety in the home, at school, and on the road. They also are ambassadors to promote bicycle safety and pool safety. Their mission is “total commitment to the sanctity of life.”

Thanks to a very impressive turnout, Hatzalah was able to accomplish its goal – which was to have an amazing community event for everyone – a day of togetherness and fun. All the children left with smiles on their faces and prizes in their hands. And the adults were smiling too!

Emotional Wellness – A Scary Meeting 

Rabbi David Sutton and Dr. David Katzenstein, LCSW-R

When Eastern practitioners of meditation and yoga brought their philosophies to Western civilization, they taught in the order they had always practiced. First, relax the mind through meditation, and subsequently, relax the body through yoga. But Westernized students were unable to calm their minds and be comfortable with their thoughts initially, so the teachers switched the order. They realized that many of us in our highly overstimulated society first needed to “do” something active before being able to sit with ourselves and our thoughts.   

When Dr. David Katzenstein first became familiar with the practice of meditation as a therapeutic tool, he enrolled in a five-day experiential meditation retreat, to experience its inner workings firsthand, so he could later utilize it to help his patients.   

For the first two days, the experience of merely “being” with himself and his thoughts was so discomforting and distressing - to the point of unbearable mental anguish - that he suffered extended anxiety attacks during the long hours of mediative contemplation. This anxiety was not at all related to life’s responsibilities and all of the stress related to what needed to get “done.” It was the exact opposite. The anxiety was caused by being forced, in a sense, to not get anything “done,” but to just “be.”   

 

Getting to Know Yourself 

This was a revelation to him, as he had always conceptualized his own struggles with anxiety as an outcome of the worries and fears of not doing enough or not doing more to help others. He believed that if only he had more time to relax and not have any responsibilities, the anxiety would fade. He realized, in these contemplative moments, that so much of that anxiety was (and at times, still is) equally related to fears of turning inward and facing himself without anything to distract him.  

Or maybe it’s a little bit more than that.  

Rav Wolbe served as mashgiach in Yeshivas Beer Yaakov, a city in central Israel. In those days, there was not much near Beer Yaakov, aside from orange orchards and a mental hospital nearby. Definitely no bagel shops or sushi joints. Rav Wolbe used to encourage his talmidim to take solitary walks in the area. While promoting physical health, walking is also emotionally therapeutic, as it airs out the brain.   

One day, a bachur left for a walk, only to come running back a few minutes later. Rav Wolbe looked at him and said, “You know why you came running back? Because you met somebody and you got scared.”  

 The boy respectfully disagreed. “No, I didn’t meet anybody.”  

 Rav Wolbe repeated, “You met someone, you got scared, and you came back.”  

They went back and forth, until finally, Rav Wolbe said, “You met yourself – and you’ve never met yourself before. You became so frightened of this stranger called yourself that you came running back.”  

 

TAKEAWAY  

Spend five minutes with yourself – not your phone, not your Mp3 player, not your car radio, just yourself.   

Ask yourself honestly: Am I scared to be alone? Am I bored?

Different, But Together

This month’s Torah reading offers us the precious opportunity to take a closer look at one of the most often observed – yet, ironically, seldom discussed – mitzvot: the daily Shema recitation. 

There are two sections of the Torah which the Torah itself explicitly commands us to read twice each day, in the morning and in the evening.  The first, which begins with the famous verse of “Shema Yisrael Hashem Elokenu Hashem ehad,” appears in Parashat Vaet’hanan (Devarim 6:4-9).  The second begins with the words “Vehayah im shamoa,” and is found in the next parashah, Parashat Ekev (Devarim 11:13-21).  These two sections form the first two paragraphs of the daily Shema recitation.  A third paragraph, from the Book of Bamidbar (15:37-41), is added because it concludes with a reminder about the Exodus from Egypt, and we are commanded to read about this event each day.  Our discussion here will focus on the first two paragraphs, which we read this month. 

 

Contrasting “Shema” With “Vehaya Im Shamoa 

Rabbis throughout the ages have noted a number of significant differences between these two pieces of Biblical text.  Perhaps the most important, and most obvious, difference involves the notion of sechar ve’onesh – reward and punishment.  This is the primary theme of the second paragraph, which promises great rewards for the faithful service of Gd, while warning of dreadful calamities for abandoning Gd in favor of foreign deities.  The Torah in this section promises that the service of the Almighty is rewarded with plentiful rainfall, which will, in turn, lead to an abundance of produce and economic prosperity.  It then proceeds to warn that the rejection of Gd will result in severe drought, thus causing widespread starvation, to the point where “you will be swiftly driven from upon the good land which Gd is giving you.”  These promises and warnings do not appear in the first paragraph, which commands us to show unbridled devotion to Gd, but without speaking about the consequences of our loyalty or disloyalty. 

The second discrepancy relates to the person or people being addressed.  The first paragraph, “Shema,” is written in the singular form, addressing itself to individuals.  (Thus, for example, this paragraph begins with the singular term “Shema,” as opposed to the plural “Shim’u” or “Tishme’u.”)  By contrast, the second paragraph utilizes the plural form (e.g. “im shamoa tishme’u”), addressing itself not to each individual, but to the people collectively. 

Finally, these two paragraphs seem to demand different levels of religious devotion.  The first paragraph commands us to love Gd “with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your means.”  By contrast, the paragraph of “Vehayah im shamoa” instructs that we must love and serve our Creator “with all your heart and with all your soul,” omitting the requirement to serve Him “bechol meodecha” – with all our financial resources. 

What are we to make of these distinctions?  What do these two different paragraphs – which we recite twice each and every day – teach us about our obligations to Gd? 

 

Kollel vs. Work 

Rav Chaim of Volozhin (Belarus, 1749-1821) explained that in these two sections, the Torah addresses two different groups of people. 

The background to his understanding of the text is a question discussed by the Gemara in Masechet Berachot (35b) – and which is also discussed and debated quite often among our community members, who are perhaps unaware of the Gemara’s conclusion.  We refer to the question of full-time learning versus working for a livelihood.  Many strongly disapprove of married men who choose to spend their days in kollel learning Torah, and receive support from donors and/or family.  The opponents of kollel life accuse such men of abdicating the most basic responsibility of a husband and father – to support his wife and children.  By contrast, others frown upon those who spend their days in the office, engaging all day in mundane pursuits, rather than choosing to immerse themselves in the sanctity of the Torah.  

Importantly, both these perspectives appear explicitly in the Gemara. 

Rabbi Yishmael, as the Gemara cites, taught, “Hanheg bahem minhag derech eretz,” which, roughly translated, means, “Be normal.”  According to Rabbi Yishmael, although there is clearly an obligation to spend time learning Torah each day and evening, a person should work for a livelihood.  Rabbi Shimon bar Yohai, however, objects, asking, “Torah mah teheh aleha?” – “What will happen to Torah”?  If a person spends his time working, he will not have the time to master the large corpus of Torah, and will remain an ignoramus.  Therefore, according to Rabbi Shimon, one should devote himself fulltime to Torah study, and rely on Hashem to support him. 

The Gemara concludes by observing, “Many acted like Rabbi Yishmael, and were successful; like Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai, and were not successful.” 

Rav Chaim of Volozhin explains this conclusion as expressing that halachah actually accepts both views – that of Rabbi Yishmael, and that of Rabbi Shimon.  For “the many,” the proper approach to follow is Rabbi Yishmael’s prescription.  The vast majority of people are not suited for Rabbi Shimon’s lifestyle.  Spending all day intensively studying intricate, complex texts is exceedingly difficult, as are the significant financial sacrifices entailed – kollel stipends, even when supplemented with parental assistance, do not provide much income, and they require the family to live simply.  The majority of people cannot possibly be expected to choose such a lifestyle.  They are thus commanded to set aside time for Torah learning each day and night, while spending the rest of their time working for a living. 

Significantly, however, the Gemara speaks of “many” who were unable to adhere to Rabbi Shimon’s prescription – clearly indicating that a minority of people could.  Those with the intellectual abilities, self-discipline and motivation needed to devote themselves fulltime to Torah learning, and to make the necessary sacrifices, should do so.  And the gainfully employed with the means of helping to support these scholars should donate generously to this critically important cause of facilitating Torah scholarship.  

 

Two Legitimate Paradigms 

With this in mind, Rav Chaim of Volozhin explains the differences between the first two paragraphs of Shema. 

The first is written in the singular form because it speaks to the rare, exceptional student, who diligently applies himself to fulltime Torah learning.  He is called upon to serve Gd even “bechol meodecha,” with his money, to compromise material standards for the sake of pursuing Torah scholarship.  In this paragraph, there is no mention of rewards of economic prosperity, because the person being addressed has no interest in material blessing.  He is focused exclusively on spiritual greatness, on success in his academic pursuits, and so the Torah here does not need to promise financial rewards for his devotion to Hashem.  For him, the joy and exhilaration of spending his days in the bet midrash is itself the greatest reward he could possibly want. 

The second paragraph, however, is written in the plural form, because it is directed toward the majority of the people, who involve themselves in mundane activities, pursuing a livelihood (while of course allocating time each day for Torah study).  In this section, the Torah cannot demand serving Gd “bechol meodecha,” with all one’s money, because the majority of people are not expected to make the same financial sacrifices that are expected of the nation’s spiritual elite.  And the reward for faithful devotion to Gd in this section is economic prosperity, the success of the people’s endeavors to earn a livelihood to comfortably support themselves and their families. 

These two paragraphs thus address two different groups of Jews, who lead two different – but equally acceptable – lifestyles.  Our daily Shema recitation speaks to the two paradigms of religious life, each of which is right, depending on a person’s capabilities. 

 

Bringing the Two Groups of Together 

What I find especially significant about this insight is that in the siddur, these two paragraphs are brought together.  In the Torah, as mentioned, they appear separately – one in Parashat Vaet’hanan, and the other later, in Parashat Ekev.  But in our daily morning and evening prayers, we recite them together – teaching us that members of the two groups belong together, in the same shul, in the same community.   

We do not need – and should not need – separate synagogues for the different groups of Jews, for those who devote themselves to Torah learning and for those who choose to work for a living.  This is not an “either/or” issue, a question of “good” versus “bad.”  Both groups are equally important and equally precious components of Am Yisrael, provided that they are genuinely devoted to the service of Hashem through each individual’s chosen path.  We need people committed to halachic observance and to making time for Torah alongside their professional and commercial pursuits, as well as a group of accomplished scholars, who preserve and perpetuate our Torah tradition.  And we need them all to join together, with mutual respect and affection, to fulfill our mission as Gd’s treasured nation. 

More generally, the combination of these two paragraphs in the daily Shema recitation shows us that different kinds of Jews belong together, and do not need to live divided, as though in parallel universes.  Am Yisrael consists of many different groups, who are very different from one another, and this is ok.  This is how it is supposed to be.  We aren’t meant to be all identically alike.  But we are meant to join together in unity, respecting one another and working together for our common goals. 

Like the two paragraphs of Shema printed side-by-side in our siddurim, let us come together even with those who are different from us, and join forces to build the Jewish Nation into the extraordinary people that we are supposed to be. 

The Master of Compassion

Rabbi David Ashear

The prophet Yeshayah (25:8) foresees the day when there will be no more death, and Hashem will wipe the tears from every face. The Talmud Yerushalmi explains this to mean that Hashem, personally, will come to each and every one of us in the future in all His splendor and glory, to console and comfort us for all the hardships and tragedies we have suffered. He will explain to each person why He needed to do what He did, and we will see very clearly how everything was done with only love and compassion.

Elsewhere, Hashem tells us (Yeshayah 51:12), that He is the One Who will come to console us. He will comfort us as a mother comforts her child.

A man once came to the Kotzker Rebbe crying uncontrollably after the death of his daughter. The Rebbe said to him, “Your pain is deeper than the deepest ocean. Only Hashem, the Master of compassion, is capable of consoling you.”

We live during a difficult time period when tragedies are prevalent and we are all in need of comfort from the Master of compassion. We do not and cannot understand. Hashem’s ways are hidden and often inexplicable. Yet, we must realize that even when tragedy occurs it is the will of Hashem.

There was once a Rosh Yeshivah whose daughter died tragically, and the Rosh Yeshivah was plagued by guilt, feeling that he was to blame as he could have prevented the tragedy. The Hazon Ish told him, “There is nothing you could have done. Everything is in Hashem’s hands. The causes are irrelevant.”

Hashem has an infinite number of ways to execute His will.

But, how is this possible? Hashem is so merciful. How could He do these things?

The Gemara comments (Moed Katan 27b) that when people are crying over a loved one’s death, and we feel sympathy for the grieving family, Hashem tells us, “You are not more compassionate than I am.” And thus the Torah introduces certain laws relevant to mourning by saying (Devarim 14:1), “You are sons of Hashem your Gd.” Even when tragedy strikes, this is being done by our loving, compassionate Father. Although we do not understand, even what appears tragic is truly an act of mercy and love. The pasuk says in Yeshayah (63:9), that when a person is in pain, Hashem also experiences pain, as it were.

Still, one might ask, isn’t Hashem capable of obliterating all pain? Why doesn’t He see to it that there is no more pain in this world?

Apparently, even the tragedies and suffering are also in fact acts of kindness, and Hashem is willing to endure pain, so to speak, in order to bestow this hidden kindness.

The same loving and merciful Gd Who brings beautiful children into the world also brings them into Gan Eden. The day will come when families will be reunited – children with parents, and parents with children. Until then, we need to beg the Master of compassion for solace and consolation, to work to improve ourselves, and to find comfort in deepening our connection with our Father in heaven.

The Lighter Side – August 2024

Let’s Make a Deal

Shelly’s daughter wanted the new iPhone for her birthday. Shelly told her daughter that she will get one as long as she has good grades, does her chores, and follows the house rules. Otherwise she will get a cheaper phone. Shelly explained to her daughter, “It’s my way or the Huawei.”

Leslie F.

First Day of School

A young boy is going to his first day of school, and he looks worried. His dad asks him, “What’s wrong, son?”

Nervous, the boy replies, “How long do I have to go to school for?”

“Until you’re 17 years of age,” says the father.

The boy nods, and thinks about this quietly. When they get to the front gates of the school, the boy asks, “Dad, you will remember to come and get me when I’m 17, won’t you?”

Martin S.

Measured Response

A fellow was walking along a country road when he came upon a farmer working in his field. The man called out to the farmer, “How long will it take me to get to the next town?”
The farmer didn’t answer. The guy waited a bit and then started walking again. After the man had gone about a hundred yards, the farmer yelled out, “About 20 minutes!”
“Thank you. But why didn’t you tell me that when I asked you?”
“I didn’t know how fast you could walk.”

Jacky B.

Dead Giveaway

Two crows were in a field when they noticed a figure that looked like a man in the distance.
“See that over there? What is that?” asks the first crow.
The second crows takes a long look, “That’s a scarecrow. It looks authentic, doesn’t it.”
“How can you tell it’s a scarecrow and not a person?” replies the first crow.
“Look at its hand. No cellphone,” replies the second crow.

Simon K.

Medical Request

Max goes to his doctor complaining of aches and pains all over his body. After a thorough examination, the doctor gives him a clean bill of health. “Max, you’re in excellent shape – for an 85-year-old man. But I’m not a magician. I can’t make you any younger,” says the doctor.

“Who asked you to make me younger?” says Max. “I’m paying you to make sure I’m getting older!”

Miriam L.

Fat-Free Fries

A boy read a restaurant sign that advertised fat-free French fries.
“Sounds great,” said the health-conscious boy. He ordered some. He watched as the cook pulled a basket of fries from the fryer. The potatoes were dripping with oil when the cook put them into the container.
“Wait a minute,” the boy said. “Those don’t look fat-free!”
“Sure they are,” the cook said. “We charge only for the potatoes.”

Karen M.

Security Clearance

Shlomo worked for the security department of a large retail store, and his duties included responding to fire and burglar alarms. A side door of the building was wired with a security alarm, because it was not supposed to be used by customers.

Nevertheless, customers always found the convenience of the exit tempting. Even a sign with large red letters, warning “Alarm will sound if opened,” failed to deter people from using it. One day, after attending to a number of false alarms, Shlomo got fed up and placed a small handmade sign on the door that totally eliminated the problem: “Wet paint.”

Max G.

Good Reference Needed

Chaim Yankel was sick of his job and was determined to find work elsewhere. But no matter how hard he tried, his reputation as someone who was not dedicated to the job, seemed to follow him around.

One day the phone rang at his office. Although Chaim Yankel did not usually pick up the phone, he picked it up and said hello.

“Hi,” said the man on the line, “I have an unusual question to ask you, I’m looking into a fellow Chaim Yankel for a position in my company. Do you know this fellow?”

“Sure I know him,” responded Chaim Yankel with a smile.

“Tell me,” asked the man. “Is he consistent with his work? Does he always show up on time?”

“Well I’ll be honest with you,” Chaim Yankel truthfully replied, “I’m not so consistent myself, but whenever I’m here he’s here!”

Moishe K.

New Dress

Sam was sitting in one of the chairs provided for men outside the ladies’ fitting room in the local department store. After 30 minutes and six changes of outfits, Sam’s wife Sara came out of the changing room one more time. Sam looked at her and immediately said, “Sara, that looks great on you! Get that one.”

“Honey,” Sara replied, “this is what I was wearing when we came in.”

Rena A.

Hide And Seek

One day, some builders are renovating an old building in Jerusalem when Solly, one of the workers, falls through the rotten floor into a previously undiscovered cellar. As the dust settles, Solly sees to his horror a skeleton lying in the corner. The skeleton is wearing a blue and white sash with these words written on it:

“ALL ISRAEL HIDE-AND-SEEK CHAMPION 1952.”

Henry F.

Candy Sale

Al and David were in third grade, were best friends, and were go-getters. They decided to start selling candy bars out front of a local grocery store to make a little side money. One day as they were selling, an older woman walked by their booth and smiled at their pitch.

“I’ll buy a chocolate bar on one condition,” said the lady to the boys. “My doctor says I shouldn’t eat sweets so you eat it for me.”

She bought a chocolate bar, and handed the candy back to Al. He shook his head as he placed the chocolate bar back into his merchandise display. “I can’t,” he said.

“Why not?” asked the old lady.

Looking the lady in the eye, Al responded gravely, “I’m not supposed to take candy from strangers.”

David C.

The Deli Chase

One day, a New York state trooper was pulling off the highway and as he turned onto the street, he noticed someone pulling out of Moishe’s Kosher Deli. But the driver had placed his pastrami on rye on top of his car, got in, and drove off with the sandwich still on top of his car.

So the trooper decided to pull him over and perform a community service by giving the driver his sandwich. He pulled him over, walked up to the car, pulled the deli sandwich off the roof, and offered it to the driver.

The driver, an old Jewish man, looked at the trooper and said, “No thanks. I just bought one.”

Victor G.

From the Files of the Mitzvah Man Hesed Stories – Vladimir’s Story

Pnina Souid 

This story starts with the phone call to the Mitzvah Man hot line. The caller told the Mitzvah Man that he is looking for help for an elderly man, Vladimir, who managed to escape the Ukraine in the midst of the war, despite all odds. 

Vladimir is wheelchair-bound and is all alone. He speaks no English and has practically nothing. However, a Jewish organization  was able to bring him to America and find him an apartment in Brooklyn, on Ocean Avenue on the sixth floor. Once Vladimir was placed in this apartment, the gentleman representing Vladimir heard about the Mitzvah Man Organization, who he reached out to for assistance. 

Mike Nielman, a Mitzvah Man volunteer, accepted the mission to help Vladimir. Here is Mike’s story. 

When I met Vladimir, I was not sure how everything would transpire. But my goal was to do my best for this man who had to leave his home and country in very difficult circumstances. 

We had no common language so we had to communicate with a type of sign language. It had already been determined that he needed a green card, food stamps, and assistance to pay rent and utilities. 

I was told that it was a pure miracle that the organization was able to get Vladimir out of the Ukraine. 

Over a period of time I spent every day with Vladimir, going to the appropriate office for whichever assistance he needed. 

First, we spent the day applying for a green card. Next day was food stamps. The day after that was to secure funds to pay for rent and utilities. 

Vladimir would point or gesture when he needed to explain what he needed. 

Once all these matters where taken care of I knew that I could not leave him totally alone. So I visited him once a week to see how he was doing and to ask if he needed anything.  

Vladimir’s representative, who made the original call to the Mitzvah Man, called again. This time it was to thank the Mitzvah Man Organization for sending to Vladamir a true hero.

The Mitzvah Man Organization is here to help. Please don’t hesitate to call for assistance or to volunteer. 

Back-to-School Tips – for Parents

The transition from summer break to the school year can be both exhilarating and nerve-wracking for parents. As we gear up for Fall 2024, here are some practical strategies to ensure a smooth start:

  • Connect with Last Year’s Teachers 

Begin by reaching out to your child’s teachers from the previous academic year. Their insights are invaluable. Discuss your child’s strengths, areas for improvement, and any specific needs they might have. Armed with this information, you’ll be better prepared for the new school year. 

 

  • Assess Your Child’s Readiness 

Reflect on your child’s experiences last year. Consider what adjustments are necessary. Does your child need additional support? Perhaps tutoring in certain subjects or extra practice? Use this assessment to plan effectively. 

 

  • Create a Family Calendar 

A shared family calendar is a lifesaver. Include school events, extracurricular activities, and important dates. Having a visual overview helps everyone stay organized and reduces last-minute surprises. Whether it’s a digital calendar or a good old-fashioned paper planner, consistency is key. 

 

  • Reintroduce Regular Meal Times 

During the laid-back days of summer, meal schedules tend to become more flexible. As school approaches, gradually reintroduce regular meal times. Proper nutrition supports focus and sustained energy levels. Consider involving your child in meal planning – it’s a great way to teach healthy eating habits. 

 

  • Set Up a Homework Station 

Designate a quiet, well-lit area specifically for homework. Stock it with necessary supplies: pens, paper, a computer, and any textbooks or workbooks. A consistent study space encourages productivity and minimizes distractions. Personalize it with your child’s favorite motivational quotes or artwork. 

 

  • Establish a Bedtime Routine 

Adjust bedtimes gradually to align with the school schedule. Adequate sleep is crucial for academic success and overall well-being. Create a calming bedtime routine – perhaps reading a book together or practicing relaxation techniques. Limit screen time before bed to ensure quality rest. 

 

  • Label Your Kid’s Gear 

Invest in durable labels for your child’s belongings. Mabel’s Labels, for instance, are waterproof and laundry-safe. Stick them on clothes, shoes, lunch gear, and school supplies. This simple step prevents items from ending up in the lost and found, saving you time and frustration. 

Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Many parents share the same excitement and challenges. Take a deep breath, follow these tips, and embrace the new school year with confidence. Your child’s growth and learning await!