QUESTION:  

Dear Rabbi Ali, 

I am gaining so much clarity from your monthly articles. Thank you. I do have an issue that has been bothering me for quite some time. I’m married for 17 years, and my wife has a comment about almost everything I do – the way that I dress or eat, where I go and who I’m with, etc. She gets upset and criticizes me regarding these things and it’s getting worse. Any insights would be greatly appreciated.
 

R’ ALI’S RESPONSE: 

This type of question regarding criticism is a common one  I receive from both men and women. Here, I would like to give some perspective and tips for the reader, as a condensed version of a number of emails I exchanged with the questioner.   

First, let’s talk about the one who criticizes. We should all be aware that criticism is damaging to any relationship and is unacceptable. Acknowledging that you may be too critical or negative is the first step towards minimizing your criticism.  

Frequently I hear, “But I was triggered.” You may have a valid point, but you are not justified in delivering harsh criticism. At the end of the day, we all have free will to decide how we will react to any situation. This doesn’t mean keeping quiet when something’s bothering you. It means you need to find a more appropriate way of expressing yourself than by using criticism. This is similar to what we try to teach children about speaking appropriately. We should aim to learn how to talk things out maturely and calmly. For some people this comes naturally, for others it doesn’t. Don’t feel bad if it’s a challenge for you. With some hard work, you can get it right. 

Now let’s look at  the one being criticized. There are really two issues here, criticism and control. “You’re going to wear that? No way!” is control. “You know you look ridiculous,” is criticism. My general approach to this situation is to state your case kindly but firmly and to stick to the topic.  

Don’t let your spouse’s reaction steer you off course. For example, as a response to the previous critical comments you can say, “I understand that this shirt is not your type, however I’m going to wear it. I like it very much.” When your spouse responds with something like, “I can’t believe you. Why do you have to be different?” Stay on track. “I value your opinion. However, I am buying this shirt.” 

As for criticism, it can come in a different form such as hurtful words or a put down. These should be handled in a different manner. If critical remarks happen only once in a while, and it’s clear that it’s because your spouse is in a bad mood when it happens, the best thing to do would be to ignore it and move on. It is hard, but very doable. However, if the criticism is a constant, you should let your spouse know how you feel. You can say, “It hurts me when you speak like that.” Stating how you feel (an “I” statement) and not shifting the blame onto your spouse is the safest and easiest way to get your message across in a non-threatening way.  

Some people will let their spouse know that they are hurt, however it will come across as an attack. This approach won’t accomplish anything. Remember, the goal is to put a stop to the criticism, not to vent. It’s very hard to debate an emotion. If you are clearly stating how you feel versus what they did wrong, there’s not much to talk about. Even if it seems like your spouse rejects what you have said, most likely the message got across.  

You may need to repeat this message a few more times. However, from my experience it almost always works. Of course, your timing and your tone is important and you will have to figure out the best way to say how you feel and when to say it.  

This tip works for the most part if it is done right. The hard part is resisting the emotional roller coaster. Don’t take the bait of entering into an argument and you’ll be fine. Your spouse will eventually accept your decisions.  Remember it’s a balance of being both kind and firm. The firm without the kind won’t work out too well. If we’re patient and persistent, with Hashem’s help we’re sure to have smooth sailing relationships.

Sandy Eller 

It was exactly one year after the onset of COVID that SIMHA, the Sephardic Initiative for Mental Health Awareness, first opened its doors to address the ongoing need for assistance in the Sephardic community, with a wide range of services and programming.  Having been contacted by local rabbanim, kallah teachers, community leaders, and others about a variety of complex and sensitive issues, Rabbi David Sutton, SIMHA’s founder and director, realized that members of the Sephardic community needed access to high quality professional mental health care.  He understood what life was like for those who were struggling with anxiety, depression, various disorders, addiction, and other issues. And in his mind’s eye, Rabbi Sutton envisioned them as being stranded in the ocean, surrounded by sharks and battered by uncontrollable tides.   

“SIMHA was created to be that island of safety,” explained Rabbi Sutton.  “Someone who speaks to a friend might experience some comfort, but they are still in the ocean, fighting that tide and those sharks.  When they reach out to SIMHA, we become that island for them, providing them with a safe haven, and getting them on the road to recovery.” 

SIMHA provides clients with free comprehensive assessments, the first step in addressing mental health issues. Evaluations are done in person and can take an hour or longer to complete, giving SIMHA’s licensed clinicians an opportunity to identify the root problem instead of just treating its symptoms.  Oftentimes, clients may reach out to SIMHA to discuss a particular issue, when in reality, the actual matter is something completely different.  Such was the case with one man who contacted SIMHA to discuss what he described as a marital problem.  

“After doing the assessment, it turned out that the husband was struggling with a severe anxiety disorder that was negatively affecting their marriage,” said Dr. Eli Mandelbaum, SIMHA’s director of clinical coordination.  “Sending him for shalom bayit classes or to a marriage therapist wouldn’t have helped.” 

SIMHA’s licensed clinicians draw on their training and considerable experience as mental health professionals to develop an accurate understanding of their clients, as well as their unique situations.  In addition to clarifying the actual problem at hand, they provide support and psychoeducation from the start. And clients often find the intake process to be therapeutic, even though SIMHA’s clinicians do not provide actual therapy services.  

Referrals are the next step in the continuum of care. Clinicians search SIMHA’s extensive database of approximately 800 therapists, psychiatrists, and facilities to find the one that is best suited to the client.  While the process is both thorough and time consuming, referrals are typically made within 24 hours of an assessment. Most of those practitioners are located in the New York – New Jersey area and, if need be, are insurance-based.  SIMHA also has access to well-known experts in the field who don’t necessarily work with insurance.   

“Over 50 percent of our clients see clinicians that take insurance, and we try to work within their budget,” noted Rabbi Sutton.  “We do our best to make it work for them, and have met hundreds of clinicians, and gone down to dozens of clinics so that we could locate affordable care.” 

Other factors are also at play in the referral process, according to Dr. Mandelbaum.  Clinicians consider whether a particular therapist and the client are a good match, in addition to considering availability, personal preferences, such as gender, and whether the client wants to do in-person or telehealth sessions.   

“All of this happens collaboratively,” explained Dr. Mandelbaum.  “We connect with the clinician first and get the green light from them, and then we tell the client who we came up with for them.” 

SIMHA’s involvement doesn’t end with sharing a therapist’s contact information with the client.  Clinicians are more than ready to help schedule appointments for their clients, and they also make follow-up phone calls to hear how the initial conversation went.  In cases where clients who had initially agreed to schedule their own appointments decide not to follow through, SIMHA’s clinicians switch into case management mode, pinpointing the reason for the hesitation, and shifting gears, if necessary.  

“If that clinician doesn’t work for them, we’ll find them another one,” said Dr. Mandelbaum.  If they didn’t call for a particular reason, we can discuss those unstated reasons so that the process can continue.” 

SIMHA’s ongoing support also includes reviewing clients’ progress, making sure that they are receiving the care they need to remedy the problem at hand.  The fact that SIMHA’s clinicians stay in touch with their clients means that if something goes wrong, they are there to jump in right away and make the necessary corrections. 

“We’ve had countless examples of people falling off the train,” said Rabbi Sutton. “It takes handholding to get them back on.” 

Education is an important and ongoing component of the clinical coordination process, shedding light on topics that can be sensitive and unfamiliar.  At times it might be something as simple as explaining what anxiety or depression are, or validating their feelings.  In other instances, it might include simply understanding the therapy process and how to get the most out of treatment. 

“I’ve had clients tell me that they need a new therapist because they don’t like what their therapist has said about a certain thing,” said Dr. Mandelbaum. “I tell them to talk to their therapist and let them know, just like you would tell a restaurant that they burned your steak. It is important for clients to know that they are the customer, and that being open and forthcoming with their therapist helps the treatment process.” 

In addition to opening over 500 new cases a year, and providing mental health services to community members in Brooklyn, Deal, and Lakewood, SIMHA is also tackling contemporary mental health challenges from the educational side, offering training courses to provide local mentors with life-saving tools to address mental health issues, since few are trained in the field. 

“Much like a Hatzalah member’s job isn’t to do heart surgery, but rather to stabilize patients and get them the help they need, our goal at SIMHA is to give our first responders the tools they need to react, whether they are community rabbis, rebbetzins, kallah teachers, shadchanim, nutritionists, or anyone else who might pick up on the first telltale signs of a mental health challenge,” explained Rabbi Sutton.  “These courses teach how to navigate sensitive situations and guide people to professional help when needed.” 

Dr. Shloimie Zimmerman, Director of SIMHA’s rabbinical training program, developed and led the men’s 24-week program, while Dr. Sarah Miller ran the women’s cohort.  Both programs were designed to provide participants with tools to provide care and guidance with compassion and dignity, and included an emphasis on validation, empathy, and numerous other skills.   

“The role of the rabbi has changed over the years,” observed Rabbi Joseph Dana of the West Deal Synagogue.  “Rabbis don’t just give speeches from the pulpit – they are expected to advise on an array of matters that aren’t taught in kollel.” 

“I used to try and actively solve people’s problems,” added Rabbi David Nakash, who runs the Bnei Aliyah minyan at Shaarei Zion.  “I’ve since learned that listening empathetically and offering guidance is far more effective.” 

The classes were an introduction to SIMHA for some participants, including Rebbetzin Sandra Mansour of the Safra Synagogue, who was gratified to realize the many services being offered to community members who struggle with mental health issues.  Mrs. Renelle Maslaton, Principal of Bet Yaakov Yesodot HaTorah, felt that the art of active listening was one of the key takeaways of the program.   

 “Dr. Miller’s practical teaching style gave us the ability to take ideas that we already knew, as well as lots of new information, and put them into practice,” said Mrs. Maslaton.  “Taking the time to really hear what someone is saying, including being conscious of what goes unspoken, is incredibly important.” 

Those thoughts were echoed by Rebbetzin Aviva Ben Haim of Bnei Shaarei Zion, who gained skills that helped her through an issue with a particular student that had been plaguing her for years. 

“The course was excellent,” said Rebbetzin Ben Haim.  “Dr. Miller was very practical and I think that all of us who took these classes can honestly say that we are grateful to SIMHA for empowering us and giving us the tools we need to better serve our communities.” 

Even as it continues to evolve to meet communal needs on multiple fronts, SIMHA remains steadfastly committed to its founding mission – helping those who are struggling with dignity, skill, and compassion. 

“Baruch Hashem, mental health issues are no longer being swept under the proverbial rug,” noted Rabbi Sutton.  “SIMHA is grateful to be able to play a part in shattering stigmas, so that no one has to suffer in silence.  Help is literally right around the corner.” 

If you or someone you know need guidance, advice or assistance, SIMHA is ready to offer help.  Call or text 718-675-3000 or email office@simhahealth.org.

Rabbi David Sutton and Dr. David Katzenstein, LCSW-R 

In Alei Shur (Vol. II, p. 276), Rav Wolbe discusses the importance of self-awareness, daat hadaat. In order to become self-aware, Rav Wolbe prescribes hitbonenut, contemplation, whereby one delves into and tunes into himself. It means really listening to what’s going on inside of us, paying attention to ourselves. 

Rav Wolbe cites Rav Yitzchak Hutner (Rosh yeshivah of Yeshivas Rabbi Chaim Berlin), who relates an anecdote involving the Alter of Slabodka, Rav Nosson Tzvi Finkel. 

The Alter was once sitting with his students when he began to think out loud. “The soul is greater than angels. If a person has a revelation of himself, he has had a revelation that’s greater than gilui Eliyahu, the revelation of Eliyahu HaNavi!” 

When we hear a story about an individual who was zocheh to gilui Eliyahu, we may be impressed. Wow! Gilui Eliyahu! However, we must realize that an even greater revelation, a greater gilui, is realizing who we are. 

It’s hard to truly get to know ourselves. We like to fool ourselves into believing that we are tzaddikim, justifying ourselves and our actions, rather than delving into who we really are. But it is imperative that we go through the difficulty of finding out who we really are, to see what’s going on “under the hood.” And the only way to get to know ourselves, posits Rav Wolbe, is by spending some time alone, which he calls “sha’ah shel hitbodedut” (an hour of solitude). 

What should we do during this time? 

We must listen to the many thoughts competing for space in our brains, but also, to the will of Gd that is inside of us. We are to delve, contemplate, and sift through the voices, to become aware of our thoughts and our motivations. 

As Rav Wolbe sees it, most people avoid being alone. Because when they’re alone, they grow bored. And, as he puts it, if someone is bored when he is alone, that’s a sign that he’s entirely distanced from himself. This is one of the pitfalls of living in a yeshivah or seminary dormitory, where a young man or young woman is always surrounded by people, and never has the opportunity to think. 

But this problem continues throughout life. We continuously create background noise to avoid listening to the voices in our mind. When going for a jog, we wear earbuds. When driving in the car, we turn on the radio or music. There must always be something else going on. We can’t be alone, lest we succumb to boredom. 

Often it is more than mere boredom that impedes our capacity to sit and contemplate our inner processes. In contemporary Western society, we can become so rushed and overstimulated that doing “nothing” can foster a distinct sense of discomfort, which can quickly evolve into a kind of restless anxiety. 

A man hails a taxi. As he enters the car, he pleads with the driver to hurry. When inquired about the location of his destination, the man replies: “I have no idea, just get there quickly.” 

This is the life we live. We are so busy running that we forget where we are heading.

Feeling stressed or overwhelmed? Take time off, by yourself, to take a walk. Don’t talk on the phone, don’t plan your day or your menu, don’t even listen to music, just BE!

Frieda Schweky

This past Memorial Day weekend, I took a two-day family getaway to Philadelphia. I was truly amazed how different Philly’s vibe is from that of NY, and NJ, despite not being so far away. The buildings were beautiful, the streets were clean, the parks and monuments were historic, and there was burgeoning nature everywhere.  

The rich history of the city really added to our trip in an unexpected way. For example, one night we had an early dinner and, on our drive home we saw Washington Square, a beautiful park. So we decided to get out and take a walk. We walked past a stunning multi-colored hydrangea bush and oak trees the size of three-story buildings! 

 After this trip, I got curious – what other fascinating and beautiful trips are only a quick drive or flight away, just waiting to be discovered? So, I asked my Instagram followers where they’ve vacationed nearby, and here’s what they had to say! 

Dale Levenson 

Last summer, my family and I went on a trip to Asheville, NC. It was so much fun! We stayed at an Airbnb at the top of a hill, so we got to see a gorgeous view! Our flight was about an hour and a half and the drive to our Airbnb was just 15 minutes. When we got there, we went food shopping. They had a Walmart and a Target, and we even found a Trader Joe’s. We went hiking and found a waterfall with a swimming area. It was so beautiful! There were several other hiking trails that led to waterfalls. We did gem mining, zip lining, and visited the Sierra Nevada Brewery. We really had a fun trip and the views were just unbelievable! I highly recommend it.  

Ida Levy 

My teenage son and I visited Crystal Springs Resort in Mount Vernon, New Jersey. It is about an hour and a half away from the Deal area. We went there because it had full-scheduled activities for kids and nighttime entertainment. The rooms included full kitchens, laundry machines, and large bathrooms. The rooms also had fireplaces and balconies. I could even charge my electric car at the resort’s garage. It is a great place for skiing adventures or summertime activities.  

Our first activity was metal stamping. We made necklaces with our creations – it was really fun. The next activity was kids’ mixology where my son created two mocktails. It was very cool. Next, we did some arts and crafts in the lobby, where they also had a magician.  

The next day, we visited the Crystal Springs sister hotel and played in their arcade, which included virtual reality games. It was so much fun! Then, we tried our hand at laser clay shooting with modified rifles. It was completely laser-based, no bullets were involved.  

Next was my favorite activity, which I’ve been wanting to try for so long – goat yoga! (Yes, the goats are right there where participants are doing yoga moves.) The mountain goats were adorable, only seven months old. They roamed around the room – it was super cute. We were all smiles the entire time.  

We enjoyed the petting zoo, then, we met the reptiles – amazing snakes, turtles, lizards, chinchillas, and more! Lastly, we did some archery with real bow and arrows, and my son and I both managed to get a bullseye! All and all, it was a very fun and eventful quick getaway.  

Fanette Royzen 

We love visiting Newport, Rhode Island. We try to go once a year – it’s very nautical and there’s really a ton to do. There are a few kosher restaurants, water activities, beautiful views, and, of course, the historic mega-mansions never get old. It’s a fairly short drive – around three hours. 

 We really enjoyed touring the mansion museums such as The Breakers, The Marble House, and the Château-sur-Mer. Rhode Island offers a great opportunity to appreciate the beautiful architecture, history, galleries, shopping, restaurants, beaches, and water activities.  

We like to stay in the downtown area on Thames Street, which is lined on both sides of the street with shops and restaurants. On the strip, you can also easily hop on a sailboat and cruise the seas just for fun. Compared to the Hamptons, it offers more sights, attractions, and activities.  

Sarine Shalom 

I recommend Cape May, about a two hour drive away. Before I got married I went there with my friends. We went on a sunset tour, walked around, and looked at the shops. We really had a great time. Here are a few attractions we enjoyed: Beach Plum Farm, Washington Street Mall, Wildwood Amusement Park, Jet Boat Spin Ride, Cape May Lighthouse, a sunset boat ride, and Revolution Rail Co.  

Susy Z. Cohen 

We visited Connecticut! It is not far from NY, and has so much to offer that we spent three days there. Check out the aquarium, kids interactive museums, the submarine museum, and the It Adventure Ropes Course in New Haven. We went to the science center also, which is big and offers a lot of different things for curious kids.  

Connecticut also has a handful of kosher restaurants. Overall, it was a very nice winter break spot. We stayed in an Airbnb, as it’s easier to have a kitchen when traveling with kids. It is also cheaper than a hotel. We went to two places each day. Do check out the Pez factory! It’s a quick activity, but it’s cute. They have a scavenger hunt inside the Pez store. You can also see the factory where the candy is made through the window. There’s a supermarket that has a lot of kosher products plus an organic kosher bakery.  

There is also an air and space museum. A good tip is to look up the website of each place and plan according to when they are open, since a lot of them are closed one or two days of the week.  

We brought a cooler packed with food and brought along a sandwich maker for fixing breakfast. We have kids aged two to ten. With those ages it’s always good to have food with you. 

Jennifer Sorcher 

If someone wants a weekend away from Brooklyn, I suggest they rent an Airbnb in Monticello, rent a boat at Swinging Bridge Reservoir, and go into the town of Monticello for kosher food. 

If someone in NJ wants a quick getaway, it’s easier to go to the Poconos. You can find a good Airbnb in the Poconos. Alternatively, Skytop Lodge is a great hotel with kids’ activities. You can also find resorts/hotels that have kosher meals. If you stay at an Airbnb in the Poconos and want a fun activity, the indoor water park hotels have day passes.  

Michelin Cohen 

Woodloch is great! It’s a spa resort in the Poconos, so it’s around a 2.5-hour drive from Deal and Brooklyn. It was extremely nice and very comfortable.  

They had daily activities that weren’t scheduled, like kayaking, pickle ball, and hatchet throwing. They also had a packed schedule with about four different activities going on every hour. The activities included yoga, work-out classes, gardening classes, and art classes. There was a ton of different things to do. There is a spa that has a sauna, steam room, jacuzzi, snow room, and a pool.  

Three meals a day are included, with a kosher menu option, and with snacks offered throughout the day. The entire experience was unplugging and rejuvenating. 

Wow, all these ideas sound awesome! I learned a lot and hope you guys did, too! Please travel safe and enjoy the beautiful weather wherever you are!  

Until next month,  

Frieda Schweky 

Frieda is an event and portrait photographer. Check Frieda out on Instagram @ friedaschwekyphoto. For photography inquiries or article topic suggestions email her at friedaschweky@gmail.com.

Victor Cohen 

“Where should I send my child to school?” 

All community parents ask this question as their children reach school age. Parents look for a school that they believe will best educate their children in the way that matches their values. 

There is no one correct answer as to where to send one’s children to school. We have been blessed with multiple schools for our children, each with its own strengths and unique character. Parents may choose a specific school due to its teaching style, location, or even the sports teams. Each school offers a unique perspective that enables its students to shine and prepares them to become tomorrow’s leaders. 

Recently a need for a new school was identified within our community. Yeshivat Magen Abot has been established to fill the need. 

Spearheaded by Rabbi Leon Cohen, this new school strives to preserve and build upon the legacy of our heritage and community, cultivating an environment of Torah that fosters academic excellence and nurtures the unique potential of each child. 

I am honored to have interviewed Rabbi Leon Cohen for this article. We discussed how the founders of the school started out, the people involved, some of the challenges faced, and what the future may hold.  

The Need for a New Yeshiva 

Rabbi Cohen explained that while he has had the idea for a new school for many years, only recently has it become not only feasible, but necessary. As he put it, there are two specific needs within the Deal community that he believes Magen Abot can fill: 

For the first time, Deal’s yeshivot are full to capacity due to the exponential growth of the community. Therefore, families who are looking to live in Deal long-term may no longer find room for their children within the existing yeshivot. Therefore, another school is needed to accommodate those newcomers. 

Second, there is a growing number of families in the community who are interested in an equal balance between secular and Judaic studies for their children. While some schools strive for excellence in General Studies, and others in Judaic Studies, at Magen Abot, a balanced approach is designed to be the best synthesis for students to prepare them for the future in our ever-changing world. Both secular and Judaic studies are critical for our children’s success. Magen Abot offers the best of both kinds of education with its dual approach. 

Rabbi Cohen explained how Magen Abot can excel in both areas. He said that the staff he brought on board to teach students were stars in both General Studies and Judaic Studies. As he explained, rather than having either General Studies or Judaic Studies as the primary focus of the school, he wants to put a strong emphasis on both. He continued, “Often, schools have more of a focus on one and less on the other. We want to have both.” 

Rabbi Cohen related a story of how a few years back, a Deal family (both the husband and wife grew up in Deal) ended up moving to Brooklyn to find the educational balance they were seeking. That need not happen, now that Magen Abot is on the map.  

Magen Abot’s website features a short section, “Why now?” It reads: 

           Baruch Hashem, our Deal community is growing tremendously, and our classrooms are being filled at a record pace – and it is precisely from this growth, that our community’s needs are evolving. We have the opportunity now to offer families a unique new boys school option while still enabling the growth of our existing institutions. This will ultimately enable our growing community to grow stronger, together. 

Meet the Team 

Rabbi Leon Cohen is the perfect rabbinical leader to spearhead this new endeavor. With twelve years of teaching experience at Hillel Yeshiva and several years of experience at other institutions (including founding Camp MAXX) Rabbi Cohen knows the community well and is attuned to its needs. 

When asked when he knew the time was right to build something new, he responded, “When the landscape allows for it.” According to Rabbi Cohen, the time is ripe. 

Rabbi Cohen recruited Mrs. Raisy Liberman as Magen Abot’s Principal. Mrs. Liberman has over 25 years of experience in both teaching and administration, having worked at Ateret Torah, YDE, Hillel Yeshiva, and The New Seminary. It was deemed that with her exceptional guidance and extensive experience Mrs. Liberman will be a catalyst to enable the school to blossom. 

Rabbi Moshe Douek is Magen Abot’s Rabbinical Chairman. According to Rabbi Cohen, Rabbi Douek has been an integral part of Magen Abot from the beginning, as the two discussed many aspects of planning for the school. As Rabbi Cohen put it, Rabbi Douek has been particularly helpful because they were “both cut from the same cloth.” Besides being the head rabbi of the Eatontown Synagogue (Congregation Shaare Tefillah Bene Moshe), Rabbi Douek has been a leading force in our community for years, and he now lends his personal credibility to the new school. 

Samuel F. Hassine has been chosen as the school’s Chairman of the Board, and has been involved extensively in the logistical and business side of opening up the school.

Overcoming Challenges 

Creating a new school from scratch is a tremendous endeavor. Rabbi Cohen noted the following three challenges he and his team faced: 

Securing Capital – Gaining funding is a challenge for any institution. Rabbi Cohen recognizes, “A school can’t survive on tuition alone.” Therefore, fundraising has been a central focus for the school’s team. Kudos to Mr. Hassine, who was instrumental in providing the initial funding needed to get Magen Abot off the ground. 

The new Founder’s Wall was created as one solution to bringing in needed funds. Baruch Hashem, squares and plaques are selling out quickly, as many want to participate in getting the new yeshiva off the ground. Yet, there are still available dedications for those looking to put their name on this new venture. 

The Surrounding Schools – Rabbi Cohen wanted to ensure that  Magen Abot would not be “intruding” on the other neighboring schools, or even have that appearance. In the spirit of securing amicable relationships, Rabbi Cohen initially shared his vision for Magen Abot with Rabbi Saul Kassin and Sammy Saka of Hillel Yeshiva, and with Rabbi Mordechai Dabbah of Yeshivat Keter Torah. They all gave him their blessings to move forward. 

Location – When searching for a suitable location for their school, the team came across the IVY Hedge Early Childhood Learning Center, which is right behind Monmouth Hot Bagel Bakery, Deal’s premiere kosher bagel store. With the classrooms set up already, and even a playground on-site, this turned out to be the perfect location for Magen Abot. And there is even room to grow. 

According to Rabbi Cohen, this building was one of many gifts to Magen Abot from Hashem. As he put it, if you’re doing the right thing for the right reasons, leshem Shamayim, Hashem will support your efforts and bring the right pieces into place for its success. Rabbi Cohen noted that up until now, though they have faced challenges, things have largely worked out for them, and it is because of this that he believes the implementation of this new school is what Hashem wants. 

What’s Next? 

Rabbi Cohen’s vision is to build up Magen Abot one year at a time, one grade at a time. The school will  open with two divisions, a pre-school from ages two through kindergarten, and a grade school of kindergarten -1st grade. Bezrat Hashem, each year another class will be opened up, starting with second grade a year from now. 

As for the future, decisions will be made appropriately. It will be some time before the school expands to eighth grade. At the right time the Magen Abot team will decide if a high school is needed. If there is a need, and the students’ families support the opening of a high school, then, bezrat Hashem, Magen Abot will move to open a high school, as well. 

Yeshivat Magen Abot is proud to open up their yeshiva this fall for their first year. We are all watching excitedly to see how this brand-new school impacts the Deal area for years to come.