64.7 F
New York
Saturday, May 17, 2025
spot_img
Home Blog Page 38

Community Highlights – Tefillin Drive for Israeli Soldiers

Soldiers in Israel are fighting not only for their lives, but also for the lives of Israeli citizens and the hostages held in Gaza. Our soldiers enter the battlefield knowing that they are supported by Hashem and the prayers of the entire nation. Since many soldiers have decided to pray and to put on tefillin, there are not enough pairs for everyone. When a community member made a shiva call to Ramona Mizrahi for her brother Moshe Chai Ben Rachel, a”h, Ramona mentioned that her brother was buried in Israel with her soldier cousins in attendance. She went on to say that her cousins asked for Moshe’s tefillin because there was a shortage and that when soldiers come out of Gaza, there are lines of tens of soldiers waiting to say a beracha on the limited number of pairs.

 

Ramona was happy to donate them, saying, “What were they going to do with his tefillin anyway?” This story was the catalyst for a tefillin drive. Community member Linda Cohen, along with Ramona Mizrahi, launched this project leilui nishmat her brother to collect used tefillin along with donations to purchase new tefillin and send them to Israel for soldiers. They were able to connect with an organization, Love IDF, via another community member living in Israel, that specifically obtains, checks, and delivers tefillin to soldiers in both Gaza and up North. As of now,37 sets of tefillin have been given to our soldiers, our brothers. There is a lot we can do from here to help in Israel.

 

If you would like to participate or to donate, please call Linda Cohen at 917-519-614.

 

 

Uniting Voices: The Resounding Success of the Sixth Annual Deal Community Amen Party

In a packed house of over 400 women, the sixth annual Deal Community Amen Party took place, with the yearly theme of Amen B’Achdut – which resonated even more than ever before.  From the day the October 7th attacks took place, the Jewish world has come together in unity, in a way that has made us all take greater pride in being part of Am Yisrael. The Amen B’Achdut event was an expression of that feeling.

Victoria Sutton opened the event by introducing everyone to rescued hostages Louis and Fernando, who joined the event via Zoom. They both witnessed how our community prays for them and accepts kabbalot as a zechut for them and the remaining hostages.  Rabbi Edmond Nahum then gave his blessing for the rest of the hostages to be saved. Karen Smadja recited the beracha of hafrashat challah and spoke about her son Natan Chai, a”h, who at only eight years old constantly thought of Mashiach and always looked for ways to bring achdut and zechut to the world. Rabbi Joey Haber spoke about the month of Adar, the special meaning of its letters, and its connection to the power of Amen.

With all these inspirational words as a backdrop, the community women collectively recited and answered thousands of berachot with “Amen.”  What a powerful way to bring more zechut in our time of need!

 

NYPD Offers Fraud Prevention Tips

The New York City Police Department (NYPD) is actively raising awareness about the risks associated with phone scams. These scams often involve fraudulent callers claiming to be from the Social Security Administration or local, state or federal law enforcement agencies. Here are the key points:

Scam Overview:

Victims are contacted and informed that their Social Security number has been linked to illegal activities, such as drug trafficking or money laundering.

To avoid arrest or to protect their assets, victims are coerced into sending money.

Common payment methods requested include prepaid gift cards, Bitcoin, and bank wire transfers.

Scammers may even impersonate police officers or law enforcement officials to intimidate victims.

 

Eight Essential Elements of Estate Planning

More than half of all American adults do not have a will. Should tragedy strike, chas v’shalom, without one, many problems could potentially arise. Estate Planning is essential to save families from unwanted outcomes. Even without major assets, it is important to have these plans in place.

If there is no will when someone passes away, state law will determine who gets their assets. If a person is single and childless, the estate may go to the parents and siblings. If a person is married, their assets may all go to their spouse, or be split between the spouse and the children.  

Once a plan is in place, make sure the heirs know how and where to access the documents. Locking them away in a safe-deposit box means they may not be able to get to them easily.  

Below are nine essential elements to keep in mind. 

 

Create a Halachic Will  

This is in addition to a regular will. Be in touch with your rabbi to discuss all it entails. 

 

Guardianship for Minors   

Who will raise the children if something happens to both parents? It is also important to know how to handle life insurance payouts and money left to the children. The best option is to have the money placed in a trust for the children, versus leaving it to another adult.

 

A Will 

A will determines where assets outside of a trust will be distributed. This could include home, car, bank accounts, or personal possessions.
 

Executor 

This is the person who will carry out the deceased’s wishes.

 

Living Trust 

A living trust both allows a person to pass on assets without going through the public probate process and also allows someone else to manage affairs should they become incapacitated.  

 

Financial Power of Attorney 

This allows someone to manage a person’s financial affair.  

 

 

Beneficiaries 

Retirement accounts, pensions, life insurance, and brokerage accounts are passed through beneficiary designations, not a will.

 

Tax Planning 

If someone is wealthy enough to face federal and state estate taxes, be sure a professional can handle those plans. Even if they are less wealthy, their heirs will have to file their income tax returns, so make sure the heirs know where to find the relevant information.
 

Drawing Strength From Pesach

If a person was taken captive and subsequently released, we would expect him to hold some kind of celebration each year on the anniversary of his release.  But now let us imagine that this fellow is taken prisoner yet a second time.  At some later point, he is again released.  When would he celebrate his freedom – on the date of his initial release, or the on the day of his second and final release? 

 

Unquestionably, he would host his celebration on the date when he received his permanent freedom.  What sense would there be in celebrating the day when he was released if he was then captured again?! 

 

And yet, this seems to be precisely what we do each year, on Pesach.  We celebrate our release from the Egyptian exile – despite the fact that our nation were exiled subsequently, on multiple occasions. 

 

“Everlasting” Freedom? 

 

After leaving Egypt, we entered the Land of Israel and built a country – until the Babylonians brought us into exile several centuries later.  The Babylonians were then conquered by the Persians, under whose dominion we lived until they, like the rest of the ancient world, were overrun by the Greek Empire.  The Hashmonaim miraculously defeated the Greeks and drove them from the Land of Israel, but less than 300 years we came under the rule of Rome.  And we have been in exile ever since. 

 

And thus our Sages speak of four exiles that the Jewish People endured after the Exodus from Egypt: 1) Babylonia; 2) Persia; 3) Greece; 4) Rome, the exile in which we still find ourselves. 

 

Why, then, do we celebrate our redemption from the Egyptian exile, if we were subsequently sent back into exile – four times! – and we still remain in exile to this day? 

 

Even more perplexingly, each night, in the arvit service, we give praise to Gd for bringing us out of Egypt “leherut olam – to everlasting freedom.”  We speak of the freedom we gained at the time of the Exodus as “everlasting” – despite the fact that we have, unfortunately, suffered so much persecution and oppression since that miraculous redemption.  In what way is our freedom from Egyptian bondage “everlasting”? 

 

Egypt as the “Mother” 

 

The answer is found in an important teaching the Arizal (Rav Yitzhak Luria, Safed, 1534-1572), which is fundamental to our understanding of the significance of Yetziat Mitzrayim (the Exodus from Egypt) and our celebration of Pesach. 

 

The Arizal taught that the Egyptian bondage was the template, so-to-speak, of all future exiles.  We might compare this period of suffering to a woman pregnant with quadruplets, as it “gave birth” to the four later exiles.  The concept of exile was conceived in our ancestors’ experiences in Egypt, setting the foundation for the four exiles that followed. 

 

The Hida (Rav Haim Yosef David Azoulay, 1724-1806) found an allusion to this concept in the opening verse of the Book of Shemot, where the Torah introduces the story of the Egyptian bondage, listing the names of Yaakov’s sons “habaim Mitzrayemah – who were coming to Egypt.”  The word “baim” in this verse can be read as an acrostic representing the words “Bavel” (Babylonia), “Edom” (a reference to Rome), “Yavan” (Greece), and “Madai” (Media, which was connected to Persia).  When our ancestors came to Egypt, they were setting into motion the four subsequent exiles.  The period of exile of Egypt constituted the foundation from which the future exiles emerged. 

 

The flipside of this concept is that Yetziat Mitzrayim set into the motion all future processes of redemption.  Just as the horrors of the Egyptian exile laid the groundwork for the suffering during subsequent exiles, the miraculous Exodus from Egypt laid the groundwork for all subsequent redemptions.  And it is in this sense that Yetziat Mitzrayim brought us “everlasting freedom.”  Although we were later exiled again, multiple times, and still await our fourth and final redemption, that final redemption is rooted in our nation’s redemption from Egypt.  The miracles of Yetziat Mitzrayim established the precedent for our future redemptions – and thus, indeed, they could be said to have brought us “everlasting freedom,” in that they facilitate the final redemption for which we yearn and pray. 

 

The Arizal noted that this explains the prominence of the number 4 at the seder.  We drink four cups of wine, for example, to commemorate the four redemptions that were “born” at the time of Yetziat Mitzrayim.  We celebrate on this night not only our freedom from Egyptian bondage, but rather all the redemptions that we have experienced and the final redemption that we will soon, please Gd, experience, as they all originate from the miraculous redemption from Egyptian slavery.  We celebrate the concept of ge’ulah (redemption) which was born at the time of Yetziat Mitzrayim, confident that we will see the end of our current exile, as well. 

 

The Fourth Patriarch? 

 

With this background, we can perhaps understand an otherwise peculiar aspect of the story of Yetziat Mitzrayim. 

 

The process of the Exodus began – or so we would have thought – when Gd appeared to Moshe at the burning bush, and informed him that He would soon free Beneh Yisrael from slavery.  He commanded Moshe to return to Egypt, convey Gd’s promise of redemption to the people, and then confront Pharaoh to demand that he release the slaves. 

 

Surprisingly, though, after Moshe approached Pharaoh, the king not only refused his demand, but made Beneh Yisrael’s conditions much worse.  In an attempt to demoralize the people and dash their hopes of freedom, Pharaoh ordered that they would no longer be given straw with which to produce bricks, but would have to fetch straw themselves and then somehow meet the same quota of bricks as they had previously.  Suddenly, the slaves’ workload was doubled. 

 

Why did this happen?  Why did the suffering need to intensify before the redemption? 

 

The answer might be found in the comments of the Or Ha’haim (by Rav Haim Ben-Attar, 1696-1743) to the beginning of Parashat Tetzaveh.  The Or Ha’haim there establishes that the redemptions from all our nation’s previous exiles unfolded in the merit of our righteous patriarchs.  We were redeemed from the Babylonian exile in the merit of Avraham; from the Persian exile in the merit of Yitzhak; and from the Greek exile in the merit of Yaakov.  The question naturally becomes, then, in whose merit we will attain redemption from our current exile, as we have only three patriarchs, not four.   

 

The Or Ha’haim answers that the final redemption will transpire in the merit of Moshe Rabbenu.  He is the “fourth patriarch,” so-to-speak, in that he provides us the merit we will need to bring our final redemption.  (As an aside, it is worth emphasizing that Moshe Rabbenu is the one who brought us the Torah.   

Therefore, in order to enlist his great merit through which we can earn redemption, we need to devote time to learning Torah, rather the waste our time in front of screens…) 

 

If we combine the Or Ha’haim’s theory with the Arizal’s teaching discussed earlier, we arrive at a fascinating conclusion.  If, indeed, the Egyptian exile formed the template of the four subsequent exiles, then it stands to reason that the final phase of the Egyptian bondage corresponds to the final of the four exiles.  Our current exile, without question, has been the harshest and most tragic.  It has already lasted nearly two thousand years – several times longer than any of the previous exiles – and has included so many catastrophes, such as the Crusades, the expulsion from Spain, the Khmelnytsky pogroms in the 16th century, the Holocaust, and mass terror attacks in Israel.   

 

Understandably, then, once Moshe – who will redeem us from our current exile – arrived on the scene in Egypt, the suffering had to intensify.  Moshe’s emergence in Egypt represents the fourth and final exile – and for this reason, this period was the harshest and most tragic part of the Egyptian bondage, just as our current exile is the most painful of all the exiles. 

 

Anticipating Miracles 

 

Several centuries before Beneh Yisrael’s enslavement by Pharaoh, Gd informed Avraham that this would happen.  He also ensured our patriarch that “dan anochi” – He would punish the nation that would subjugate his descendants (Beresheet 15:14).  Gd fulfilled this promise through the ten plagues that He brought upon Egypt, and then by drowning Pharaoh’s army in the sea. 

 

Rav Saadia Gaon (882-942) noted that if these two words – “dan anochi” – were manifest through the great miracles of the Exodus, we cannot even imagine the fulfillment of the prophecies of our final redemption.  The books of the prophets are filled with promises of blessing and of our enemies’ downfall.  If two words produced Yetziat Mitzrayim, we can be certain that the final redemption will many times more miraculous than the Exodus from Egypt. 

 

The Pesach celebration, then, is not only about our ancestors – it is very much about us, about our current travails, and about our unwavering faith in redemption.  Yetziat Mitzrayim assures us that no matter how difficult our current circumstances seem, the Jewish Nation will be saved, just like our ancestors were – and in even more miraculous fashion. 

 

This year, Am Yisrael is preparing for Pesach in a state of anxiety and uncertainty.  The trauma of Simhat Torah is still very much with us.  Many of us know firsthand families who lost loved ones on that day or during the ensuing war.  Nobody knows how the current conflict will end, and Jews around the world are experiencing a frightening wave of anti-Semitic attacks.   

 

Pesach has come at the perfect time, reassuring us that, as Gd conveyed through the prophet Micha (7:15), “Like in the days when you left the land of Egypt, I will show them wonders.”  The miracles we speak about at the seder remind us that we will soon witness even greater miracles, that Gd will extricate us from our current crises just as He brought our ancestors out of Egypt.  There is no greater source of strength and encouragement for us during this time than the seder table, where we sit and focus our attention on the miraculous Exodus from Egypt, which is the model for the miraculous redemption that we can look forward to. 

 

Rather than fall into despair, let us be strengthened and reenergized, as we reaffirm our faith in the beautiful future that awaits the Jewish Nation. 

The Magical Power of Birkat Hamazon – and the Birkon that Can Help You Access It

By Chana Nestlebaum and Mozelle Forman

The Talmud (Pesahim 118a) teaches that parnasah – earning a livelihood – is as difficult as the miracle of the splitting of the sea. The hardships entailed in earning a living are well-known to virtually all of us – not only those who struggle to make ends meet, but also those who have secured a livelihood through the investment of a great deal of time and effort.

The challenges of parnasah can be traced back to Gan Eden, where Adam and Havah ate from the forbidden tree, on account of which Gd pronounced, “Beze’at apecha tochal lehem – With the sweat of your brow you shall eat bread” (Beresheet 3:19). Ever since then, human beings have had to exert effort to obtain their material needs.

However, in His infinite compassion, Hashem has given us, His beloved nation, the solution, a means of easing the process of parnasah.

In the Book of Devarim (8:10), the Torah commands, “Ve’achalta vesavata uverachta et Hashem Elokecha – You shall eat and be satiated, and you shall bless Hashem your Gd.” This verse introduces the well-known mitzvah of Birkat Hamazon – blessing Gd after meals. Less known, however, is that this mitzvah is the key that opens the doors to our parnasah.

Turning On the Ignition

Imagine a man gets into his car, in a rush to get somewhere. He adjusts the headlights, fiddles with the sound system, sets the temperature, and puts his destination into his GPS. And then he wonders: “Why am I not getting anywhere?”

The reason, of course, is that he hasn’t ignited the engine.

In their effort to earn a parnasah and enjoy Hashem’s blessings, people can be very much like this man. They focus on their meetings, their deals and their paychecks, but they forget to ignite the “engine” that will bring them where they want to go. Birkat Hamazon is the key that turns on the engine.

Many sources in Torah literature note the powerful connection between reciting Birkat Hamazon with kavanah (concentration), and success in parnasah.  The anonymous Medieval work Sefer Hahinuch (mitzvah 430), for example, writes: I have a tradition from my teachers, may Hashem protect them, that whoever is meticulous regarding Birkat Hamazon will have his parnasah available for him in a dignified manner all his life.” The Maharal of Prague (Rav Yehuda Loew, d. 1609), in Netivot Olam (chapter 18), comments:

Our sages taught that it is more difficult to obtain one’s livelihood than it is to bring redemption for the nation. This being the case, it makes sense that we must bless Gd for it with all our hearts. Birkat Hamazon is the most important of all blessings. The greatest praise to Gd is to recognize that He provides sustenance.

Rav Haim Vital (1543-1620), in Shaareh Kedushah (vol. 1), says the following about Birkat Hamazon: “In reward for fulfilling this mitzvah, He will open His treasure-trove of bounty for you, and you will always be sustained through His generous hand.”

Birkat Hamazon impacts not only an individual’s parnasah, but also the parnasah of the entire Jewish Nation. We read in Megilat Rut (3:7), “After Boaz ate and drank, he gladdened his heart.” Rav Moshe Alshich (1508-1593) raises the question of why Boaz is described here as having “gladdened his heart.” He explains that Boaz experienced joy through the recitation of Birkat Hamazon after his meal. His heart was gladdened because now that he had blessed Gd for his food, the entire nation would receive sustenance in his merit, as though he had distributed to each member of the nation his individual share of the food. Indeed, the Zohar states that all Am Yisrael receive their sustenance through the mitzvah of Birkat Hamazon. (See Sifteh Kohen, Parashat Vayeshev.)

Beyond providing us the key to parnasah, the rabbis teach, reciting Birkat Hamazon from a birkon (written text of Birkat Hamazon) and focusing on the meaning of the words protects us from harm, brings long life, is a segulah to have children, and increases blessing in everything we do.

Gratitude – The Essence of Our Relationship with Gd

What makes Birkat Hamazon so powerful?  Why is it the key to parnasah?

The secret to Birkat HaMazon is that it expresses our gratitude to Hashem – especially when we say it with concentration – and gratitude is the essence of our relationship with Hashem. In fact, the origin of our name as Jews is Yehudi, a name that originates from Leah’s exclamation of gratitude when naming her fourth son, Yehudah: “Hapa’am odeh et Hashem – This time I thank Hashem” (Beresheet 29:35). Gratitude is the channel through which we connect to Hashem, and through which He delivers His bounty to us. As the Zohar teaches, “If one blesses Hashem with joy and benevolence, blessings will be granted to him with joy and benevolence.”

But why, from all the gifts and blessings with which we’re surrounded, is receiving food the centerpiece of our exercise in gratitude?

Food represents Hashem’s love for us. The Zohar (Parashat Terumah) asks why Hashem created food as our sustenance. Why not sunlight and water, or air? The Zohar answers that Hashem wants us to know, on a daily basis, that He loves us. He wants to show us in a tangible way that He sustains us, just as He provided us mann in the wilderness, and just as a mother lovingly feeds her children. For good reason, then, it is specifically after eating, the greatest manifestation of Hashem’s love for us, that we express our gratitude to Him.

“Slowly, One Word at a Time”

Ironically, despite the explicit teaching of our rabbis pointing to Birkat Hamazon as the most powerful key to parnasah, many of us neglect this recitation, feeling that it takes too long.

Talk about a bad business practice! We cannot even imagine what we miss when we mindlessly run through Birkat Hamazon, or just skip it.

Why do we do this? What prevents us from accessing this amazing opportunity in the best way possible – with care and kavanah?

In his introduction to his book Birkat Hamazon Bechavanah, Rabbi Yisrael Bitan posits:

The mitzvah of Birkat Hamazon is taken lightly due to everyone’s familiarity with it. We’re trained to recite it from our earliest youth, and we tend to fulfill this mitzvah in our adulthood with no more thought than we did as little children…mumbling the words under their breath without giving a thought to their meaning…swallowing them along with their dessert.

Coming at the end of the meal, Rabbi Bitan writes, Birkat Hamazon is often “one more thing to get done” before moving onto the “real” agenda of the day. Therefore, it’s often recited in a rush. But in so doing, we forfeit the abundance of blessing that this precious mitzvah offers us.

The proper way to recite Birkat Hamazon is taught to us by the great kabbalist Rav Eliyahu de Vidas (1518-1587), in his work Reshit Hochmah (chapter 15):

We should recite the blessing slowly, one word at a time, showing that we mean to praise Him for each of His gifts. We should recite these blessings out loud so that our family members will hear us. Saying the words out loud is a key strategy for keeping our minds on the meaning of the words we utter. It was the practice of Harav Moshe Cordovero to read Birkat Hamazon from a written text to aid in concentrating on the words’ meaning.

Rabbi Bitan writes: “We should take care to recite it from a prayer book so that we will be less distracted by extraneous thoughts. When we gaze at the holy letters, especially those of Hashem’s name, it inspires us to recite the words enthusiastically and with concentration.”

In fact, Rav Elazar Shach (1899-2001) would advise those who approached him for a blessing to recite Birkat Hamazon from a birkon, explaining that this is one of the greatest ways to bring blessing into one’s life.

A “Life-Changing” Impact

To help Jews everywhere gain access to the blessings that result from the proper recitation of Birkat Hamazon, and at the request of community members, the Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation has produced a Sephardic version of its acclaimed and beloved Illuminated Birkat Hamazon. This masterpiece offers meaning, inspiration, and tools to help every Jew fulfill the precious mitzvah of Birkat HaMazon at the very highest standard.  The project is sponsored by Sandy and Judi Saka of Miami Beach, Florida, in loving memory of their dear parents, Joseph and Becky Saka, a”h. Their hope is that community members will recognize the golden opportunity they are given every day to bring parnasah and blessing into their lives, and capitalize on this opportunity to its fullest.

Those of us familiar with the Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation associate it with its mission to spread awareness of the mitzvot of ahavat Yisrael (love for one’s fellow Jew) and shemirat halashon (avoiding forbidden speech). The Foundation has published numerous books based on the teachings of Rabbi Yisrael Meir Kagan, the “Chofetz Chaim” (1839-1933), including A Daily Companion; Chofetz Chaim: A Lesson a Day; Positive Word Power, Master Your Words, Master Your Life; and many more. Additionally, the Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation is well-known for its annual, worldwide Tisha B’Av event. Furthermore, over 100,000 people a week use the Foundation’s materials to grow in their shemirat halashon and middot (character).

What inspired this renowned organization, which focuses its work on the area of purity of speech, to publish an illuminated birkon?  How does this project fit into the Foundation’s mission?

One of the directors of the foundation explained: “Once we have improved our power of speech, we are able to use that speech to express our gratitude to Hashem with joy and a pure heart when reciting Birkat Hamazon, and the impact this will have on people is life-changing.”

Many might be wondering; do we really need yet another birkon? After all, most of us already have a drawer full of birkonim which were collected over the years from semahot. I can attest that when I have company, and I bring out birkonim for all my guests, a lively game of Jewish geography ensues: “Whose son is this?”; “Wow, that couple is already married 27 years?” (Yes, I have “mature” birkonim…); “Remember what a beautiful wedding that was?” So, who needs another birkon?

The answer is that this birkon is needed by each and every one of us who wants to improve his kavanah during birkat hamazon and reap the benefits of observing the mitzvah properly.

Each page of the Illuminated Birkat Hamazon features a beautiful photograph that captures the essence of the berachah, along with a clear translation and side notes that elucidate the meaning. The birkon begins with an inspiring overview of why we recite Birkat HaMazon and what it accomplishes. But most importantly, the Hebrew words are large, with just a few set on each line, and with the English translation right underneath it to help one understand what he is saying. This helps ensure that Birkat Hamazon is recited slowly and with kavanah. The birkon thus offers anyone who seeks a more meaningful connection to Hashem all the tools he needs to build this connection every day.

An Experience, Rather Than a Ritual

Don’t take our word for it. Here are some of the reactions that the Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation has received from those who have used the Ashkenazic Illuminated Birkat Hamazon:

“Using the bencher has uplifted my recitation of Birkat Hamazon from barely pronouncing the words correctly, to actually understanding what I’m saying and making me slow down and have kavana.”

“Its beauty and visual appeal remind me when I begin that what I’m about to do is IMPORTANT.  Reciting Birkat Hamazon isn’t a task to just get over with anymore. It has become part of my day’s itinerary.”  

“Your birkon helps Birkat Hamazon become an experience rather than a ritual.”

“Absolutely beautiful, inspiring to use – illuminating and soul-stirring.”

This special birkon, which has already helped thousands to access the great benefits of saying Birkat Hamazon with sincere feeling and focus, is available in bookstores or on the CCHF website cchfgobal.org/shop. It is also available in a beautiful Lucite case featuring six birkonim for your table or as a gift. You can also customize it with gold stamping for weddings and other occasions.

Having used this uniquely inspiring and educational edition, we encourage everyone to add it to their home’s collection, so that it will enhance the observance of this lofty mitzvah and unlock the countless blessings that it offers.

How to Get Your Family Involved in Passover Preparations

 

Women often shoulder the entire burden of Pesach preparations. Let’s hear from community members how they delegate tasks to family members to lighten their enormous load. Even when the kids are too young to help, it’s important to start teaching them the skills they can acquire to help Mom when they get bigger. For example, I recruit my nine-year-old daughter to go through all the jacket pockets in the coat closet looking for any hametz. I hope this article will be helpful to us all! Let’s jump right in and see what some of our clever community members do to get everyone involved in Pesach preparations.  

 

 

Esther C. Cohen 

 

My friend’s mom shared the following trick. She promises her kids one dollar for every hametz item they find. The kids end up really searching and actually finding stuff! Hopefully it doesn’t cause Mom to break the bank! How about paying in quarters?! 

 

Even young kids can help. From three years old, they can spray and wipe a drawer. And the bonus for Mom is that it keeps them busy for a long time with that spray bottle and rag (don’t even splurge on paper towels – they’ll use a million of them). Some other helpful tips: Take the highchair outside for a good cleaning – use a garden hose!  Wait for a nice day to tackle the car together. Even if it’s earlier than you would have liked – you’ll be happy if one thing is checked off the list and everyone will be psyched to be outside. We’ve even invited friends over to help clean the car – they really love it! They feel so big and responsible.  

 

Wait for the kids to be out of the house to boil the counters – it’s not worth doing that with them around. And the best tip – wear rainboots when sloshing around boiling water! 

 

Devora Piller 

I don’t have my kids pitch in for the actual cleaning. I need to be alone to be able to focus on my cleaning. But, one year, I gave my oldest son the task of looking through his own nightstand and deciding what he wanted to keep and what was trash and also, of course, looking for hametz. He loved it! Afterwards, he set up things on his nightstand that he found and my other sons saw it and got excited to do so, as well. So that’s what they do each year.  

 

My kids help in the kitchen when I’m cooking. They love peeling potatoes. They also pitch in with juicing lemons and oranges, and making grapefruit juice. They also choose cake mixes and make those for the holiday. For me,  letting go of control was hard at first. But when I did, I found that I benefited from the kids’ help, and they love helping out, too. 

 

Sarah H. Franco 

 

Here are tips for how to get your adult children involved. 

Assign everyone to prepare different dishes for the holiday. This takes a little planning to decide who makes what, but it pays off in the end because everyone helps out, instead of all of the responsibilities falling on the host. 

 

Next – split responsibilities: 

Someone supplies paper goods, someone supplies snacks, another baked goods. Someone buys fruit. Split the details because they add up, too. 

Another option is that each person picks an activity or meal they are in charge of. 

 

My mother and my sisters try to do that. We’ve been doing it since our late 20’s we’re all in our 30’s now. Some of my friends go to one family member’s house and together they cook ahead of time.  

 

We all go to my mother for Pesach. For years I used to clean the kitchen with my cleaning lady, although I no longer do that.  

 

But, if everyone is going to one family member’s, particularly their parents’ house, you can and should take over a job, like cleaning some areas of the house. After Purim my mother makes the kids look for hametz, in the playroom and in their rooms, before the cleaning lady cleans. Then the day before Pesach she makes the kids do a hametz check again.  

 

Obviously, this is for chinuch purposes, and is a way to keep the kids out of our hair and provides a way for them to be connected to Pesach, to be mindful that Pesach is coming, and Don’t Make a Mess! 

 

Jennifer Mizrahi 

 

My kids are basically my little assistants when it comes to Passover prep. I assign them tasks such as vacuuming the couch and checking rice. They also empty things out of my cabinets, spray and wipe down surfaces, and put in the Pesach groceries. I also let them wipe down my chairs and other simple tasks like that. Their favorite thing is vacuuming my car – they find it to be a lot of fun! And, for me it’s so helpful 

 

 

Batsheva H. 

 

My cousins who have a ton of kids came up with a really clever idea. They motivate the kids with a trip, so if they clean for Pesach really well and fast, they get to go away. This is great because it helps twofold – it gets the house clean and then, because they leave on a trip, the house stays clean! 

 

 

Ellen Kamaras 

 

Incentivize/reward your kids to clean their rooms for Pesach. Give them a fabric tote bag to fill up. Tell them to look for old toys to donate or throw out broken toys while searching for hametz.  

 

Sometimes, the best help is just getting the kids out of your way so you can focus on cleaning. Give them supplies and have your children draw pictures of the plagues or other pictures of the Pesach story for the seder night. Another cute activity is making personalized place cards for the guests at the seder. My daughter loved that “task.” 

 

Get kids involved in choosing Pesach treats and planning the menu.  

 

Put older kids in charge of planning a Hol Hamoed day trip: give them skin in the game and let them call cousins or whoever you plan to go with and brainstorm. 

 

 

Faye Sued 

 

“Guilt works!” 

(spoken like a true Jewish grandma) 

 

 

 

Wow! These are all terrific ideas and they’re really putting me into the spirit of preparing for the holiday. Just a few closing thoughts – I don’t want my children growing up feeling completely unprepared to clean their homes. I can think of no better way to teach them than to give them first-hand experience. Also, it would be great to have some extra helping hands. I’m going to do my best to involve the kids this year in preparation for the holiday. I hope this article inspired you to do the same. Getting hired help is good but it does not provide chinuch. As Jewish mothers it is our responsibility to pass on the tradition of cleaning for such an important holiday. If the children whine and moan that they don’t want to clean, I suggest teaching them this phrase in Hebrew “yesh li koach” – I have strength. We can do hard things. We should do hard things most of the time. It’s good for us. And yes, cleaning for Pesach and searching and eliminating hametz from our lives this time of year is good for us. So let’s put on some gloves and get it done! 

 

Until next time,  

Frieda Schweky 

 

 

Frieda is an event and portrait photographer. Check Frieda out on Instagram @ friedaschwekyphoto. For photography inquiries or article topic suggestions email her at friedaschweky@gmail.com. 

Sailing Relationships With R’ Ali  

Welcome everyone to my marriage column. My name is Rabbi Ali Cohen and I am a Relationship Adviser. I give guidance to the Jewish community on marriage and all relationships. Here, I will be discussing common questions and topics in a very practical way. I will try, with Hashem’s help, to give clarity on these topics so you can better understand your spouse and hopefully enhance your relationship.  

 

Here is a real-life question that is relevant in many marriages. 

                                                  

 

Question: Dear Rabbi Ali, It seems that lately my wife and I have been arguing or even fighting much more than usual. I feel like it’s getting to the point where this has become “the norm” in my relationship and I would appreciate some guidance on how to get things back to the way they used to be. I would appreciate any advice that you can share with me. Thank you. 

 

 

R’ Ali’s Response: First, you should know that this is fairly common and that nothing is wrong with your relationship. Many times we are unsure if our marriage is “normal” and that itself can make us feel confused or hopeless. Many people go through this and similar situations and learn how to work through it. As a disclaimer , it’s almost impossible to give specific advice for this specific situation. There are so many variables that can be contributing to the arguing it would be irresponsible of me to give specific advice. Speaking to someone one-on-one would be much more helpful in order to get the whole picture. However, sometimes a few small ideas or tips can be an eye opener that give us the tools to navigate on our own. 

 

In general, I like to say there are three different types of arguments.. One could be due to differences of opinion. How to renovate a house, how to spend money, where to go on vacation, or even where to park the car could be examples of differences of opinion that turn into a fight. Another type of an argument could be due to ongoing issues that were never resolved, such as where to live, how to raise the children, or maybe even spirituality issues. 

 

The third source of arguments could be much trickier. There could be some hurt from past experiences or possibly a spouse feels misunderstood or mistreated and therefore turns everything into a fight. 

 

Let’s start with difference of opinion. These differences are healthy and normal and can be dealt with in a mature way. When you sense a disagreement turning into a fight, just stop and say, “We disagree, let’s figure this out.” Either compromise or agree to disagree. Sometimes we get defensive or maybe even just plain stubborn . Your wife is not attacking you if she has different political views than yours.  

 

If there is an ongoing difference that was never resolved, usually we’re getting stuck on the “either it’s my way or yours” and can’t see past the options you have considered in the past. You’d be surprised how many other options there are by just talking it out with someone who is a drop more subjective. Sitting down with your wife and letting her know in a nice way that you’d like to settle this once and for all could be helpful. Many times we tend to either hope that the issue will just go away or pretend it doesn’t even exist. Both ideas are not going to help the situation. 

 

Regarding the third type of difference, you have to be a bit more wise. It might take some investigating and picking up clues. However, people usually let their spouse know what’s really bothering them. If a husband is not around often enough, usually his wife will tell him so. He may justify his behavior, but that won’t help the relationship. Read the writing on the wall or maybe even ask your wife if there’s anything that bothers her. 

 

Remember, every marriage needs work and letting things just ride most likely won’t turn out too well. Try to identify if any of these situations are yours and get to work. If you have patience and are ready to be a bit flexible, you’re sure to “fix” things up and have a smooth sailing relationship. 

                                        

 

Rabbi Ali Cohen Has been in chinuch for the past seven years, teaching boys in our community from sixth to twelfth grade. He is a Relationship Adviser and gives guidance to people on marriage and parenting. He has a podcast/WhatsApp group called, “sailing relationships” that deal with many different relationship topics. He can be reached via email at alcohen@levtorah.org. 

Dear Jido – April 2024

Dear Jido, 

I belong to a small group of women who are mothers with children all within a few months of each other. Most of our children will be entering preschool in the fall. One friend has asked me to fill out a recommendation form for her son. I looked over the form and realized that if I were to fill it out honestly and she were to see it, she would be less than thrilled. Is there any graceful way I can tell her to ask someone else to fill it out for her? Should I fill it out honestly and send it directly to the school, hoping she’ll never see what I wrote? Please advise… 

Signed, 

Perplexed 

 

Dear Perplexed, 

 

I’m a little perplexed too. It’s not so clear what is not “thrilling” about the boy. If the child is dangerous and can cause injury to other students, then it seems you would have an obligation to warn the school much like warning someone not to hire a worker that you know is dishonest. If he’s just a little misbehaved and/or mischievous and would likely improve his behavior in a structured environment, then writing that in your “recommendation” would be lashon hara, even regarding a young child. And if it’s because he makes a mess and never says thank you, fill out the form and be done with it.  

 

But if it is really something more serious, then I recommend the following approach. Tell the mother, “You know I love your son and my son has a great time playing with him whenever they get together. But I’m concerned. Many times, I see him do X and Y and Z and I don’t know if you want me to put that on the form.” 

 

If it’s the first time she’s heard that, then she’ll appreciate your concern and understand your hesitation. 

 

If it’s the tenth time she’s heard that, then her feelings won’t be hurt, and she’ll have no problem asking somebody else to fill it out.  

 

Jido 

 

Eat Up! How Much Matsah and Maror Are Required at the Seder?

By Rabbi Hayim Asher Arking and Rabbi Ezra Ghodsi 

 

One of the most important details  of the seder is knowing the required amount one must eat for each mitsvah that is performed with food. In order to fulfill the misvah of matsah and maror one must eat at least a specific amount. The system of measurement is based on a k’zayit – the size of an olive in ancient times. For some of the mitsvot only one k’zayit is required, and for others two k’zetot should be eaten. 

How Much Is a k’zayit? 

The measurement of a k’zayit is actually the volume of an olive. However, being that it is not so practical to measure the volume of an item, the custom is to measure by weight, and consider a k’zayit to be approximately one ounce. This is because, generally, a food that meets the weight requirement will definitely also meet the volume requirement. 

Many experiments have been done regarding hand matsah, which have determined that if one eats the weight of twenty grams of matsah, he will surely be eating the volume of a k’zayit. When measuring maror, one would need the actual weight of an ounce, as the weight and volume of lettuce are about the same. 

 

Am I Allowed to Measure at the Seder? 

Normally, measuring is forbidden on Shabbat and yom tov, however for a misvah, one may measure. When using a scale, only use one that is mechanical (non-electric). It is a good idea to pre-measure the required amount of maror and place it in a small plastic bag by each person’s place setting. This will ensure that each person eats the required amount, and will save time during the seder. 

 

How Much Matsah Do We Eat for Motsi-Matsah? 

The head of the household eats a k’zayit from the top matsah and another k’zayit from the second matsah. After receiving a little piece from the main matsot, everyone present is required to eat at least one k’zayit of matsah. It is customary for all to eat two ounces of matsah at this time. Those eating two kezatot may use a smaller measurement for each k’zayit and eat a total of 28 grams or 1 ounce. 

 

May I Take My Time Eating? 

Each k’zayit should preferably be eaten within four-six minutes, or even up to nine minutes if eating in less time is difficult. The timer starts from when you begin swallowing. One can drink water while eating to help him swallow more easily, or one can get a head start by chewing some matsah before they begin swallowing. 

 

How Much Should I Eat for Korech? 

Each person should eat a k’zayit of matsah and a k’zayit of maror. If one finds it difficult to eat so much, one may be lenient and measure the k’zayit of matsah as fourteen grams and the maror as eighteen grams. 

 

How Much Matsah Do I Eat for the Afikomen? 

One eats at least one k’zayit of matsah in remembrance of the Korban Pesah that was eaten at the end of the meal. It is preferable to eat two kezetot, to commemorate both the Korban Pesah and the matsah with which it was eaten. If one is eating two kezatot, he can measure the matsah with the smaller measurement, and a total of one ounce will suffice. 

Riddles – April 2024

RIDDLE: Water Ways

Submitted by: Colette G.

 

The rungs of a 10-foot ladder attached to a ship are one foot apart. If the water is rising at the rate of one foot an hour, how long will it take until the water covers the ladder?

 

Last Month’s Riddle: Cats & Mice

If two cats can catch two mice in 3 minutes, how long will it take 100 cats to catch 100 mice?

Solution:  Three minutes!

 

Solved by:  Eli Nuseiri, Lucy Hanono, The Shmulster, H. Soleimani, Family Blum, Big Mike, and Sharon Dweck.

 

 

Junior Riddle: What Am I?

Submitted by: Joey K. .

 

I can be cracked; I can be made. I can be told; I can be played. What am I?

 

 

Last Month’s Junior Riddle: What’s on the Menu?

First, I threw away the outside and cooked the inside. Then I ate the outside and threw away the inside. What did I eat?

Solution: Corn on the cob!

 

Solved by:. Sara Matut, Maurice A., Frieda Barnathan, Haim S., The Big Cheese, Family Blum, The Shmulster, and The Ades Family.

A Nation at the Crossroads Biden vs Trump – Round Two

DAVE GORDON 

 

 

The upcoming presidential election will be a rematch of 2020, with former President Donald Trump and President Joe Biden both looking to secure second terms. Not surprisingly, Donald Trump was the winner of the GOP primary. Nikki Haley, his only standing opponent after others dropped out in January, ended her campaign in early March after a Super Tuesday blowout. Both Trump and Biden are already on the campaign trail.  

 

2024 Presidential Election 

 

As the campaign unfolds, the American electorate grapples with critical questions about the nation’s future. The 2024 election promises to be a pivotal moment in U.S. history, shaping the trajectory of the country for years to come. Let’s delve into the policy differences between former President Trump and current President Biden.  

 

 

Israel and Her Neighbors 

 

The Abraham Accords has withstood the strain of the current Israel-Hamas war. The agreements between Israel and Bahrain, UAE, Morocco, and to a certain extent Sudan, have held up.  Many Middle East analysts have said that Saudi Arabia is next in line. So far, President Biden has not been able to broker a deal with Saudi Arabia. However, progress has been made and normalization of relations between Israel and Saudi Arabia still remains on the table. 

An article in The Hill, written by Gerald Feierstein (former US Ambassador to Yemen under President Obama and former U.S. State Department Principal Deputy Assistant Secretary of State for Near East Affairs), stated,  “While all of the Abraham Accord partners – the United Arab Emirates, Bahrain, Sudan, and Morocco – have been critical of Israeli military operations in Gaza and of the high number of innocent Palestinian casualties, reflecting intense popular anger in their own countries, none has taken irreversible steps to sever ties with Israel or take other substantial measures against Israel. Saudi Arabia, as well, has indicated that it has not abandoned hope for reaching an agreement on normalizing ties with Israel. 

Battling Hamas 

Feierstein added, “Underlining these nations’ position, undoubtedly, is a view they share with Israel: that Hamas, with its Iranian backers, is a significant threat to their interests and the region at large. They recognize as well that ties to Israel enhance both their own security and economic development.” 

 

Concerning Hamas, Trump proclaimed on Fox News that Israel needs to simply “finish the problem,” referring to eliminating the terror threat for good. The “horrible invasion” occurred, in his view, “because they [members of Hamas] have no respect for Biden” – implying that the U.S. is currently soft on terror.  

 

Although President Biden has supported Israel in its fight against Hamas, he claimed that Netanyahu’s strategy regarding the war in Gaza is “hurting Israel more than helping Israel.” In mid-March the president also said Netanyahu “must pay more attention to the innocent lives being lost as a consequence of the actions taken” in Gaza. Netanyahu, for his part, said in a Politico interview that Biden was wrong on all these counts. 

 

Calls for a Ceasefire 

 

On March 3rd, Vice President Kamala Harris said in a speech that “Israel must not impose any unnecessary restrictions on aid” – yet Israel has been allowing aid convoys for months already. Harris went on to say, “Given the immense suffering in Gaza, there must be an immediate ceasefire.” The implication was that Israel should halt counteroffensives to eliminate the terror threat.  

 

In an interview with British journalist Douglas Murray, Associate Editor of The Spectator, and frequent pundit on Israel in the media, Murray told Community Magazine that the Biden administration’s call for a ceasefire was a play of political posturing.  

 

Murray posited, “They have several various governments that are saying ceasefire, for domestic political reasons.” The president and vice president – if seen to be too pro-Israel – “believe there’s a possibility that this war will depress voter turnout among the Democrat base, and in a possibly very tight election later this year, could damage the re-election chances.” 

 

Americans’ Economic Concerns Pre-Elections 

 

In addition to foreign policy, many Americans are worried about their pocketbooks and the rising cost of living. According to a Gallup poll in mid-March, some of the high priority economic issues for Americans include the high cost of living, inflation, taxes, unemployment/jobs, the gap between rich and poor, corporate corruption, wage issues, and fuel/oil prices. 

 

Biden’s $7.3 billion budget for 2025 calls for increased taxes for the wealthy and for corporations to help pay for Social Security and Medicare. Additional funds are earmarked for addressing climate change, reformatting Medicare, and funding national paid leave.   

 

The proposed universal pre-school for three- and four-year-olds did not come to fruition. Likewise, Biden’s proposals for gun background checks, the requirement for all federal candidates to reveal tax returns, increased transparency for election spending, expanded social security benefits, allowance of foreign prescription drugs, and tuition-free college have not been realized.  

 

Non-Economic Concerns 

 

The same Gallup poll cites that other top concerns for Americans are immigration, the government/poor leadership, poverty/hunger/homelessness, unifying the country, race relations/racism, and crime/violence.  

 

According to Trump’s website, his campaign believes the big issues for our country include “defending our borders, restoring energy independence, and leading with strength and pride on the world stage.” His top issues are economic prosperity, securing America’s borders, public safety, reclaiming free speech, and dismantling the Deep State.  

 

Also on Trump’s site is his pledge to “protect the Gd-given right of every parent to be a steward of their children,” and to promote homeschooling and to provide families with the school of their choice for their children, be it public or parochial.  

 

The upcoming election presents a chance for the American electorate to choose a candidate who they feel will best represent them and their values regarding both foreign policy and domestic priorities. We as Jews look at every election with an eye to how the candidates feel about Israel and our community. We pray that Gd will grant us leaders who will always stand up for us and for Israel.