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More Than a Trip: Young Community Members Making a Difference in Israel

Did you know there are organized trips to Israel that include both volunteering and touring that are specifically for the Syrian community?

I participated in such a life-changing experience over this past winter break, led by Eddie Zeitoune, in partnership with Mitnadev Israel, Taglit-Birthright, and Israel Outdoors. Over sixty young adults from our community participated. We had the incredible opportunity to explore the land of Israel, to provide much-needed assistance, to share in meaningful experiences, and have a wonderful time along the way. Group members reported that the combination of volunteering, meeting Israelis from different walks of life, and exploring Israel made the trip both meaningful, enjoyable, and truly memorable.

On the Ground

Our volunteer stints took us to different locations throughout Israel. We visited and volunteered at kibbutzim in the north and the south. One day, we put on a fantastic carnival for the children of a kibbutz, with face-painting, games, and other fun activities. The laughter and smiles of the children was the best reward. But we didn’t just volunteer with the fun stuff. We also rolled up our sleeves. One day, we helped clear out water from a flooded gymnasium and cafeteria that were damaged by rockets. Through these and other similar activities, we felt like we were helping Israel to rebuild.

We also spent time doing agricultural work. We picked crops, raked leaves, and planted trees. We had a chance to build – helping to craft benches and assist in the work of putting in roads. We felt our contributions were highly meaningful, and also helped the group bond over the good that we were doing.

In the evenings we had a chance to recharge. .On our first night, some of us fought off the jetlag to attend a wonderful Omer Adam concert. He is a popular Israeli singer who infuses elements of both Mizrachi and Western pop instrumentation. Those who went loved it. On many evenings different groups went out for dinner and hung out together, getting to know each other better. This helped to make us a tight knit group, in addition to bonding with the meaningful volunteer work.

Some of the group members visited family members, including siblings in yeshiva or seminary for the year. Those who had learned in Isarel for a year got the chance to reconnect with their yeshivot and their rabbis.

We experienced an amazing Shabbat in Jerusalem. Friday afternoon we left the Royal Wing Hotel, where we stayed for the bulk of our trip, and headed to the Kotel. We first went to a stunning viewpoint, where we could take in the entire Kotel and the area surrounding it. Our trip leaders inspired us with words about the importance of Shabbat. Then, we headed down to the Kotel to bring in Shabbat and pray. Afterwards, we walked back together to our hotel for Friday night dinner.

Visiting the Nova Site

No one came away from the Nova Festival site unaffected. It was especially significant that we were there on the fast of the 10th of Tevet, which commemorates the start of the Babylonian siege of Jerusalem by Nebuchadnezzar. This marked the beginning of the end for the destruction of the First Temple and the Babylonian exile. Upon arrival at the Nova site, our group members, always talkative and energetic, went silent. For most, it was our first time there.

At Nova, hundreds of photos of the approximately 364 victims killed and dozens taken hostage are displayed on wooden posts forming a “forest” or images. The victims’ smiling faces were on the walls, on posters, on giant boards. There were also individual shrines in an area covered with personal notes, candles, flowers, and items left by families and visitors. A large mural of faces stood in the center. We felt those beautiful souls were all looking at us, with their sparkly eyes and wide smiles.

We knew what happened to these happy-looking people on the posters. We saw scorched and bullet-riddled cars belonging to festival attendees, along with damaged personal belongings like a jumble of beach chairs and broken coolers, which we felt could have belonged to any of us. We felt in our hearts that the reason we came to Israel was because of these people, and what happened to them on October 7th.

Also at the Nova site are thousands of ceramic red anemone sculptures, created by hundreds of artists across Israel. They have become a powerful symbol of the Nova festival massacre. The flowers (kalaniyot in Hebrew, a beautiful red wildflower that blooms across the country) represent the young lives lost, and they also serve as a metaphor for resilience, hope, and the renewal of life despite tragedy.

Before leaving, we gathered to say a silent farewell and to sing Hatikvah. We continued on to our next volunteer site, now with an increased sense of purpose.

Conclusion

From beginning to end, this was a truly amazing trip. Not only did we see Israel, but we also contributed in our own small way. We built close bonds as a group, built meaningful friendships, and a commitment to Israel that will last a lifetime.

Ask Jido – February 2026

Dear Jido,

It feels like my parents are always working, and I hardly ever get their full attention. Whenever I try to talk about something that really matters to me, they say they’re too busy or too tired. I know they do so much for our family, and I’m grateful for that, but sometimes it makes me feel invisible and like my thoughts don’t matter.

How can I get them to truly listen and spend time with me without making them feel guilty or adding to their stress?

Signed,

An Overlooked Teen

Dear Overlooked,

Ouch!

It’s not unusual to hear that teenagers are too busy to talk to their parents – they have school, they have friends, they have Smartphones. But to hear that parents are ignoring their child, that has to hurt.

There’s an old story – a boy goes over to his father who is an attorney and asks, “Daddy, how much do you charge an hour?”  The father replies, “$150.” (I told you it’s an old story.) The boy says, “I only have ten dollars, can I talk to you for just a FEW minutes?”

I’m certainly not suggesting that you pay your parents for their time and attention, but you definitely have to GET their attention.

Pick a quiet time. Perhaps between your father’s phone calls or after your younger siblings have gone to bed. Tell them:

“Dad, remember when we used to do XYZ together? It was so much fun spending time with you. Maybe next week we can go to (shul, the Center, the restaurant) just the two of us and talk. I really miss you!”

“Mom, the next time you (clean the house, do the laundry, shop for groceries, bake challah), can we do it together? Just the two of us. I really want to spend personal time with you!”

As you say, don’t make them feel guilty and don’t interfere with their busy schedules. Look them in the eye and let them know – I love you; I miss you, I’m here, talk to me. 

Jido

Mabrouk – February 2026

Births – Baby Boy

Ralph & Madeline Maman

Marty & Joyce Antebi

Mr. & Mrs. Chaim Malka

Michael & Claire Levy

Jeff & Raquel Dweck

Ezra & Marcelle Sutton

Ike & Rachel Cohen

Joey & Rosie Sutton

Abe & Rene Massry

Raymond & Rebecca Sakkal

Births – Baby Girl

Aaron & Esther Rudy

Albert & Elayne Tawil

Zaki & Liat Mustacchi

Abe & Joyce Ash

Chaim & Barbara Rudy

Albert & Rachel Rahmey

Abe & Renee Kassin

Ron & Ruth Menashe

Al & Jen Gindi

Jack & Tanya Shasho

Bar Mitzvahs

Stanley, son of Michael and Shelly Rishty

Engagements

Joey Hamui to Lauren Ades

David Zafrani to Madeleine Setton

Morris Mishan to Lillian Haddad

Robert Sutton to Gitta Seruya

Charles Zarif to Marielle Mamiye

Weddings

Michael Wahba to Jessica Beyda

Abe Hakim to Lillian Ishak

Elliot Gabbay to Arlene Natkin

Victor Salem to Mozelle Zeitouni

Joe Fallack to Sherri Chehebar

Morris Zarif to Ruth Khaskie

Horns, Hamantaschen, and Holiness: The Magic of Purim

Tzipporah Gindi

The Hebrew month of Adar is here and joy is in the air. As the festive holiday of Purim approaches, preparation is in order. It’s time to prepare mishloahmanot baskets for friends and family, set aside money for matanotl’evyonim, get some costumes for the big and little ones alike, and make a menu for the beautiful Purim seudah. And when Purim finally comes around, be sure to remember what a holy and exceptional day it truly is, so we can grab this once-a-year amazing opportunity for prayer and inspiration.  

MISHLOAH MANOT 

In the weeks preceding Purim, Jews across the globe become occupied with preparing mishloahmanot baskets, bags or boxes in order to fulfill the mitzvah of giving “gifts” to at least one other person on Purim day.

Before you begin preparing your mishloah manot, make a list of all family members, friends, neighbors, and colleagues that you would like to give to on Purim. Then go to the nearest dollar store and buy enough baskets, bags, or boxes, and at least two foods to include. And don’t forget to make colorful labels with your family name so your recipients know the mishloah manot is from you and your bunch.

The purpose of giving mishloahmanot is to fulfill the mitzvah and to strengthen the warm bonds of camaraderie among Jews. So there is no need to spend an inordinate amount of time or money on your mishloahmanot. If you are the creative type, or your kids really enjoy coming up with themes and putting together bags, then shop and stuff to your heart’s delight. But before you overdo it, remember that two items and a nice presentation for at least one person is all that is required.  

GIFTS TO THE POOR 

While we are running around giving mishloahmanot to our neighbors and relatives, it is imperative not to forget those who are in need. So if you are approached by a poor person on Purim, give as much as you can, with a warm smile and an outstretched hand. Involve your children in this special mitzvah of giving money to the poor on Purim day. 

HIDDEN BEHIND THE MASK 

We dress up on Purim to symbolize the fact that Hashem, in His infinite kindness, orchestrated the salvation of the Jewish people under the guise of nature, as events that appeared coincidental were, in fact, specifically arranged and caused by our Father in Heaven.  

Children love to wear costumes. You can go to any party store or Purim store to choose from an adorable and colorful selection of policeman, firefighter, clown, or bumblebee gear. To really bring the Purim story to life, dress your children up as people mentioned in the Megillah, from Queen Esther to Mordechai. Adults can wear colorful hats, scarves or a fun necklace to get in the spirit. 

SEUDAT PURIM

It is advisable to prepare the menu and begin cooking for the Purim seudah (feast) in advance, so you can enjoy Purim day and take advantage of all the special opportunities it has to offer. 

The Purim feast is unlike any other in the Jewish year. In addition to delicious food and wine, the meal is characterized by its fun and happy atmosphere – horns tooting, silly antics, and grown men singing and dancing together for hours on end.

The seudah is one of the most central aspects of Purim day, during which we celebrate the deliverance of the Jewish nation from the hands of the evil Haman. So this year, spend some time planning this pivotal event with a concoction of key ingredients that will make it an experience to remember.

DINING ROOM DÉCOR

Transform your dining room from the everyday table surrounded by chairs into a themed wonderland that will enhance the Purim festivities. You can dress the table in complementary colors. Blue and gold work when aiming for a majestic feel, while black and white are perfect for a fresh, modern look.

The usual floral centerpieces are a beautiful and comfortable focal point. For a refreshing and Purim-like change, opt for candy filled glass vases (jelly beans or taffies work well!). Be sure to set the table well in advance, so you are free to enjoy Purim day, and fulfill your mishloah manot and Megillah obligations.

If you really want to get into the spirit and tap into your creative facilities, you can match your children’s costumes to the seudah theme. If you turn your dining room into a royal palace, your children might be thrilled to dress up as Queen Esther or Mordechai.

WELCOME ALL!

An open-door policy is the norm on Purim. Dancing yeshiva boys, friends bearing mishloah manot, and grandparents coming to see how adorable the kids look are likely to be behind that ringing doorbell over the course of the day. With each guest who walks through your front door, the natural Syrian-mom inclination to offer a seat and food to eat may grow ever stronger. Since you don’t know when or how many people will stop in, it is a good idea to have a few extra chairs and a spare assortment of kibbeh handy for the throngs of celebrants that might be flocking to your home.

DRINK RESPONSIBLY

One or two bottles of wine are a necessary part of the Purim feast. Decide between sweet, dry, or bubbly, based on what will best complement your meal. Just a note of caution: wine will be on the table as it is appropriate to drink on Purim (within limits), but be careful to drink responsibly and keep all liquor away from youngsters. And, of course, never, never let any of your guests drive home if he or she has drunk alcohol. Even – or especially – on Purim, safety must be our highest priority to ensure that the day is exactly what it is supposed to be – happy, joyous, and festive.

POWER OF A PURIM PRAYER 

Purim is one of the holiest days of the year, and thus the opportunity for prayer on Purim is incredibly powerful. Purim gets extremely hectic, so it takes concentrated effort to make some private time for an audience with Hashem. Set aside as much time as you can for sincere, heartfelt prayer. Also, Ta’anit Ester is a powerful day for prayer. There is so much to beseech Hashem for. Pray for health, peace, safety, and the coming of Mashiah in a peaceful and joyous way.  

May the Jewish nation be worthy of beholding miracles in our times, just as we witnessed during the times of Mordechai and Ester, amen

Medical Halacha – Is Health in Hashem’s Hands or Ours?

After visiting her doctor, Nancy phoned her rabbi with her lab results still clutched in her hand. “Rabbi, the doctor says I have high blood sugar, a high cholesterol level, high blood pressure, and that I need to completely change how I eat and start walking more. But my husband keeps telling me, ‘Don’t worry so much! Hakol b’yedei Shamayim – everything is in Hashem’s hands.’ Rabbi, is my husband right? Should I just have faith and not worry about all these changes?”

In Your Hands

The Gemara (Ketubot 30a) teaches: “Everything is in the hands of Heaven except tzinnim u’fachim – cold and heat.” Rashi clarifies: illnesses caused by negligence are not decreed from Heaven but stem from human carelessness. The Ritva expands this to all preventable harms – be it reckless behavior or an unhealthy lifestyle. Hashem entrusted us with life. To protect it is to honor the Giver of that life.

Health Is Not Optional

Judaism does not view health as a personal lifestyle preference or a secondary concern. Judaism sees caring for one’s health as a Torah obligation, because one’s state of health directly impacts one’s ability to live and perform mitzvot and hesed. The Talmud (Sanhedrin 17b) lists the ten amenities a Torah scholar must have, including not only a beit knesset but also a physician. The Rambam codifies this into halacha (Hilchot De’ot 4). Yad Ramah adds that a person is obligated to pursue healing so that he may serve Hashem. He cites the verse, “Only guard yourself and guard your soul greatly” (Devarim 4:9), as a direct commandment to safeguard health.

The Rambam explains: “Maintaining a healthy and whole body is among the ways of serving Hashem… for one cannot understand or know anything of the Creator when sick or in pain” (Hilchot De’ot 4:1).

The Sefer Hachinuch codifies this as a mitzvah: Since keeping the body in a healthy, strong condition is a part of the service of Hashem… a person must distance himself from anything destructive and conduct himself in ways that preserve his body (Mitzvah 546).

Health, then, is not a luxury. It is a prerequisite for mitzvah performance. It is part of avodat Hashem.

Metabolic Syndrome

Today, one of the greatest health challenges facing society is metabolic syndrome – a dangerous cluster of conditions including high blood pressure, elevated blood sugar, excess abdominal fat, and abnormal cholesterol levels. This syndrome dramatically increases the risk of heart disease, stroke, and type 2 diabetes.

And yet, the medical consensus is clear: these risks are largely preventable through changes in diet, physical activity, and weight management. Walking every day, reducing sugar and sodium intake, sleeping adequately – these simple habits have life-saving potential.

From a Torah perspective, this is not merely advice – it is an obligation. If Hashem has given us the means to prevent harm, and we ignore them, we have failed in our duty to guard the soul He has placed within us.

Even for those who are busy and don’t have time for major changes, small, consistent improvements – like walking whenever possible or skipping junk food – can make a significant difference.

The Ruling of Hacham Ovadia Yosef

Hacham Ovadia Yosef, zt”l, addresses Nancy’s question in Yabia Omer (Vol. 4, Choshen Mishpat §6): “If a sick person sits idly and does not engage in medical care, he will ultimately die from that illness – even if, at the time he became ill, no such decree of death had been issued upon him. These matters are obvious, and none will deny them except one who lacks understanding.” He teaches that refraining from medical treatment is not an act of faith – it is an act of recklessness. According to halacha, seeking appropriate medical care is not merely permitted, it is an obligation. One who ignores natural means of healing, expecting miraculous salvation alone, may bring upon himself harm that was never decreed from Heaven.

Conclusion

From a Torah perspective, Nancy’s situation falls directly under the principle of tzinnim u’fachim – preventable dangers. Her health outcomes are consequences of choices within her control. This is not merely good advice – it is fulfilling the mitzvah of v’nishmartem me’od l’nafshoteichem, “and you shall guard your lives exceedingly” (Devarim 4:15). The Rambam codifies this as practical law: one must avoid anything that damages the body and cultivate practices that promote health (Hilchot De’ot 4:1). Hakol b’yedei Shamayim? Yes – but some things, Hashem places in our hands.

Rabbi Yehuda Finchas is a worldwide expert, lecturer, and author on Medical Halacha. He heads the Torat Habayit Medical Halacha Institute. His latest book is ‘Brain Death in Halacha and the Tower of Babel Syndrome.” To contact Rabbi Finchas, email rabbi@torathabayit.com.

From the Files of the Mitzvah Man Hesed Stories – The Ultimate Wedding Planner

Pnina Souid

The Mitzvah Man relayed a story recently that is just one example of the special siyata d’Shmaya he and his hundreds of volunteers experience on a regular basis.

The Mitzvah Man picked up the hotline one day to find a nearly hysterical woman named Annie at the other end of the line. She was crying so hard it was difficult to understand her.

He patiently helped her to calm down and reassured her that, with Hashem’s help, he would be able to help her.

A Wedding in Danger

After a few long moments Annie told her story. Her daughter’s wedding date was only two weeks away. Annie and her husband have done everything they could to save up for a modest affair, but they were hit very hard financially by the pandemic. The caterer is demanding $5,000 right away or he will cancel. He will not accept late payment. Annie was terrified that this dreamed-of wedding may be cancelled.

“First, don’t worry,” the Mitzvah Man said. “Hashem protects the hatan and kallah. The wedding will not be cancelled. How much you need to reach $5,000?”

Annie burst into tears again. “We had so many other expenses. We don’t even have anything left to pay the caterer $5,000.I think he means it when he says he will cancel the wedding.” ”

The Mitzvah told Annie not to worry. Although $5,000 was not a small sum, he would do his best. He went on to ask what else they needed.

Annie hesitated. She hated to ask for more, but they were in desperate need of a disc jockey. They were not asking for a band or even one musician. But the kalla had dreamed of a lively wedding since she was a little girl, and even a DJ was beyond their means.

The Mitzvah Man assured Annie that he and his team would do their best, so her daughter could have the lively wedding she was hoping for and deserved.

As the Mitzvah Man hung up the phone he put in a prayer, and asked Hashem to help him to get Annie to get everything she needed. He has learned from years of hesed work that one always needs Divine Providence, and the more emunah and bitachon he has, the more Hashem provides.

Side by Side Miracles

The day after Annie called, one of the Mitzvah Man’s business clients called. “I just made a fantastic real estate deal. The ma’aser from the deal is $5,000. I want to give it to help make a wedding for a needy bride.”

The Mitzvah Man was stunned. He told Jerry about Annie’s call. She needed exactly $5,000 for the caterer.

Jerry, repeated that this money must go only to help make a wedding for a needy bride.

“Jerry,” the Mitzvah Man said, “I just got the call yesterday. You will be doing a phenomenal mitzvah. You are not just giving tzedaka. You are fulfilling the mitzvah of being m’samayach hatan v’ kallah! This brings you tremendous merit. And, honestly, I am in awe of Hashem, because He responded to the tears of the kallah’s mother and pulled all the strings.”

Jerry gave the Mitzvah Man the address of his office in Brighton Beach, Brooklyn and told him to come the next day for the check.

After speaking with Jerry, the Mitzvah Man called Annie to tell her that the $5,000 was on its way. She was speechless. Then, she thanked the Mitzvah Man profusely. She was embarrassed to ask for more, but in a quiet voice she enquired about the DJ. He told her that was not yet arranged, but he had not forgotten.

The next day the Mitzvah Man went to Jerry’s office, which was located on the second floor. After collecting the check from Jerry, the Mitzvah Man noticed an entertainment center on the first floor. He didn’t pay much attention to it, and left the building. On his way to the car he heard someone calling him. “Are you Mike Cohen from Mitzvah Man?” the fellow asked. The Mitzvah Man responded affirmatively.

The man told him that he recognized him and wanted to offer his DJ services free of charge for any needy bride’s wedding.

The Mitzvah Man stopped in his tracks. What a beautiful exhibit of Divine Intervention – “two for one!” Annie was overwhelmed with gratitude, to the Mitzvah Man, the donors, and especially to Hashem.

Positive Parenting – Helping Children Use Their Unique Strengths

Tammy Sassoon

Every child comes into the world wired differently, with unique gifts and challenges. And it’s all by design. People who are aware of and comfortable with their gifts and challenges are able to use them both to bring more greatness into the world.

Some children are deep thinkers, some feel everything intensely, while others are calm observers. As parents, we often focus on correcting weaknesses, trying to make our child more organized, more social, more compliant, or more confident. While building skills is important, one of the most powerful ways to help children thrive is by identifying their unique strengths and setting up their lives so they can use them..

When children learn to use their talents, hard work feels empowering instead of exhausting.

Shift the Question: “What’s Wrong?” to “What’s Strong?”

Many behavior challenges are actually strengths showing up in unhelpful ways. A persistent child may act stubbornly. An empathetic child may come across as very sensitive. A child with strong analytical thinking and a need to ask “why” may argue often.

When we as parents reframe behavior in our own minds through a strengths-based lens, the emotional tone of parenting shifts. Instead of frustration, there is curiosity. Instead of control, there is guidance. This doesn’t mean excusing inappropriate behavior, it means understanding the engine behind it.

Ask yourself the following questions: What does my child do easily that others find hard? What energizes them? When do they feel most capable?
The answers often reveal strengths hiding in plain sight.

Name Strengths Out Loud

Children internalize the labels they hear most. If a child constantly hears “dramatic,” “lazy,” or “difficult,” they begin to see themselves that way. Naming strengths, specifically and consistently, helps children build a healthier self-concept.

Instead of generic praise like, “Good job,” try: “You noticed when your friend was upset, that shows empathy.” “You kept trying even when it was hard, that’s persistence.” “You asked thoughtful questions, that shows curiosity.”

Specific language teaches children who they are, not just what they did.

Match Expectations to the Child, Not the Ideal

One of the most common parenting mistakes is expecting every child to succeed the same way. A child who learns best through movement may struggle in long-seated tasks. A child who thinks deeply may need more processing time before responding. When expectations don’t align with a child’s strengths, children often believe that they are failures, even when they are capable. Instead, adapt the environment:

  • Let verbal children explain their thinking out loud.
  • Give visual thinkers charts or diagrams.
  • Allow high-energy children movement breaks before expecting focus.

When expectations fit the child, cooperation increases naturally.

Model Strength-Based Thinking

Children learn how to view themselves by watching how parents view themselves. When parents constantly criticize their own weaknesses or compare themselves to others, children absorb that mindset. Try modeling statements like:

  • I’m not great at remembering details, so I use reminders.”
  • I’m someone who thinks deeply, so I take time before deciding.”
  • This is hard for me, but I also know what I’m good at.”

The Currency of Eternity

Jewish institutions are like New York City roadways – they require regular, ongoing maintenance.

As you’ve probably guessed, the word “maintenance” in the previous sentence is an elegant way of saying “money…”

Fundraising is an integral part of any shul, school, or hesed organization. It is the oxygen of Jewish communal life, the only way our institutions can run effectively – or run at all, for that matter.

This month, we read about the first fundraiser in Jewish history – the call for donations for the construction of the Mishkan. As Beneh Yisrael encamped at Mount Sinai, they were commanded to construct a mobile sanctuary that would serve as the site of offering korbanot (sacrifices), and as the site of Gd’s residence, until the permanent Mikdash would be built in Jerusalem. The Mishkan was an exquisite structure, and required a great deal of funding – acacia wood, gold, silver, copper, and even precious stones to be embroidered on the special garments of the kohen gadol. So Gd instructed Moshe to make an appeal, asking the people to donate.

The people responded generously – so much so, in fact, that Moshe announced that they should stop bringing materials. We may reliably assume that this is the only time in Jewish history that prospective donors were told to stop giving…

Let us carefully examine the way Gd formulated this first fundraiser, in order to learn about the Torah’s approach to giving – which is not only a cornerstone of Jewish communal life, but also a cornerstone of Jewish values and spirituality.

The Birds on the Roof

Gd instructed Moshe to command the people “veyikhu li terumah” – which literally means, “that they should take for Me a donation.” Significantly, the act of donating is referred to in the Torah with the term veyikhu – “taking.” Because from a Torah perspective, giving charity is actually “taking.” When we give, we benefit far more than we sacrifice.

Any material assets we own are not necessarily secure. Money can be lost, stolen, misused, misappropriated, or confiscated. There are many unfortunate but true stories of people who went to bed wealthy and woke up poor. Natural disasters, Heaven forbid, can destroy buildings and everything in them. None of our material blessings are assured to remain intact and in our possession for another day. But the goodness we perform with our material blessings can never be taken away from us. It is the most secure and profitable investment possible. Every penny we spend to help the needy, to help our fellow Jews here or around the world, to support Torah and Torah observance – is put away into our eternal account. With every donation we make, we lose a little money but gain eternal blessings and rewards.

The Ben Ish Hai (Rav Yosef Haim of Baghdad, 1833-1909) once taught this concept by way of an amusing analogy, posing the following question: If ten birds are sitting on a roof, and someone shoots two of them, how many birds are left on the roof?

The instinctive answer, of course, is that eight birds are left. But this is wrong.

The right answer is that two birds are left on the roof – the two dead birds, because the other eight fly away as soon as the first shot is fired…

The same is true of money. The assets that one “kills,” that he gives away to charity, are, ironically, the only assets that remain with him forever. All the rest is prone to “fly away,” to be lost as a result of unforeseen circumstances and events beyond his control. Only the money that we give is the money that stays with us for all time.

Charity as a Two-Way Street

This month we also read Parashat Mishpatim, which speaks of the precious mitzvah of lending to people in need. The Torah states, “Im kesef talveh et ami, et he’ani imach – If you lend money to my nation, to the poor who is with you…” (Shemot 22:24). The verse proceeds to forbid applying pressure to a debtor if it is known that he cannot yet repay the loan, and charging interest. Of particular relevance to us in this context, however, is the phrase “et he’ani imach.” While this phrase is commonly translated as, “the poor who is with you,” some suggested reading the word “imach” (“with you”) as referring to the money which one lends to his struggling fellow, despite the risk of it never being returned. The Torah says about this money, “imach” – it is “with you,” forever.

From a pure business perspective, lending to a person who is unemployed and already in debt, drowning in bills he can’t pay, is a terrible idea. But from the Torah’s perspective, not only is this not a bad idea – it is the best investment a person could make. Its dividends are incalculable, and are distributed for all eternity, in this world and the next.

This concept is alluded to also in another section we read this month – the section of Shekalim, which tells of the half-shekel tax (mahatzit hashekel) that each individual was required to give toward the Bet Hamikdash. The announcement to send in the funds would be made at the beginning of the month of Adar, and so, in commemoration, we read this section on the Shabbat preceding the first of Adar.

The Torah commands, “Venatenu” – that each person should “give” this amount to the Temple treasury. It has been noted that this word (spelled vav, nun, tav, nun, vav) is a palindrome – meaning, it can be read both backward and forward (like the English words “racecar” and “radar”). This teaches that giving is a two-way street. The donor gives but also receives – and, in fact, he receives far more than the amount he gives.

Giving to a Person of Prominence

Lest one think that this is just a nice, feel-good idea devised by rabbis as a clever, manipulative fundraising strategy, this concept actually finds halachic expression.

A man and woman become halachically betrothed through the man’s giving the woman an object of value for the purpose of betrothal. As we know, this is commonly done under the huppah when the groom puts a ring on the bride’s finger after declaring, “You are hereby betrothed to me with this ring…” It is through the bride’s receiving an object of value from the groom with the intention of becoming betrothed that the betrothal takes effect. This is what creates the first stage of the marital bond, which is then completed through nisu’in, the precise definition of which lies beyond the scope of our discussion here.

In order for kiddusin (betrothal) to take effect, the groom must give something to the bride; if the bride gives an object to value to the groom, even for the stated purpose of kiddushin, this has no halachic effect. (This is why, as an aside, when the bride wishes to give the groom a ring, I instruct her to do so later, after the huppah ceremony, in order to make it perfectly clear that it is only the groom’s handing her a ring that effectuates the betrothal.) Notably, however, the Gemara makes one fascinating exception to this rule. If the groom is an adam hashuv – a prominent, distinguished individual, then he can betroth the bride by receiving a gift from her. When we present a gift to a prestigious person, and that person accepts it, we receive honor. We derive far more benefit from our gift to a dignitary than he receives from it. Therefore, when a woman presents a gift to a man of distinction for the purpose of betrothal, this constitutes a halachically legitimate and effective act of kiddushin, and the couple is betrothed.

While this halachah is never actually put into practice, given the technical difficulty in defining the term “adam hashuv” and determining the specific credentials to qualify as a “prominent person” in this regard – it should reshape the way we think about charity.

Returning to the parashah, Gd commands, “veyikhu li terumah” – we should bring donations “to Me.” Gd is emphasizing the immense privilege of tzedakah, that we are given the opportunity to present a gift to Him, who is, of course, infinitely greater than the most “prominent” human being. Every time we give money to our fellow who is struggling, every time we make a donation to a religious institution or hesed organization, we are giving a gift to the Almighty Himself – and so we are the ones who are receiving, not the person or institution receiving the funds.

Giving as a Religious Calling

Commenting on these words – “veyikhu li terumah” – Rashi writes that the word “li” implies “lishmi,” that the donations should be made for the sake of Gd.

Much has been written about Rashi’s intent in writing these words, but for our purposes, it suffices to note that he depicts giving as a spiritual act, something we do not just for the recipient, but as part of our devoted service of Gd.

Of course, giving fulfills a mitzvah irrespective of one’s intent. In fact, the Gemara teaches that if a person has a hole in his pocket, and money falls and is discovered by a pauper who uses it to feed his family, the person who lost the money is credited with a mitzvah. Supporting an institution by participating in a Chinese auction is a wonderful mitzvah even if one buys tickets in the hope of winning the prizes. Nevertheless, we should aspire to give “lishmi,” as a religious calling. We should give not with ulterior motives, and not even out of compassion – but rather because we are here in this world to give, not to take; to contribute, not to indulge; to serve others, not to demand things from them.

In short, we should not simply give generously – but we should see this as part of the very purpose for which Hashem brought us here, and make our lives about contributing to the world around us.

As in the case of the Mishkan – the first Jewish institution in history – giving is what creates holiness, and what makes us worthy of the divine presence in our midst. It is not only about compassion, and not about experiencing the gratification of giving – but about living for the sake of serving Hashem and connecting with Him through our selflessness.

February at Home

Karen Behfar

February has a quieter rhythm to it, and that’s part of its gift. The intensity of the winter holidays has eased, spring hasn’t yet arrived, and life settles into something more measured. There’s a little more breathing room, a chance to notice what often gets overlooked.

By February, the house has told you a lot. You know which rooms feel crowded, which spaces go unused, and what’s been quietly bothering you all winter. You’ve lived through enough ordinary days to understand what flows easily and what feels strained. This is often when families start thinking less about aesthetics and more about function, about what works, what doesn’t, and what would make daily life feel easier. Those observations matter whether you’re considering a move or simply wanting your home to feel better aligned with how you live.

Take Advantage of the Slower Pace

From a real estate standpoint, February is often underestimated. While spring tends to get all the attention, the winter market usually brings out buyers who are focused and serious. They’re not casually browsing; they’re making thoughtful decisions. With fewer homes available, properties that are well cared for and properly priced often stand out more clearly than they might later in the year. The slower pace can also mean calmer conversations, more room for questions, and less pressure on both sides of the process.

Even if buying or selling isn’t imminent, this is a valuable time to prepare. Many families plan changes for after Pesach or closer to summer, and what you do now can make those transitions smoother and less stressful. One of the most effective and surprisingly meaningful steps is decluttering. As households naturally begin organizing in anticipation of Pesach, it becomes easier to see how a home is actually functioning. Letting go of what’s no longer needed can make spaces feel lighter and more manageable, and it often highlights simple adjustments that can improve daily routines.

Opportunity to Think Clearly

A question that comes up often is whether it’s better to wait until spring to make a move. The answer isn’t really about the calendar as much as it’s about your family’s timing. February offers something that busier months don’t always allow: space. Space to think clearly, ask questions, and plan without urgency. That breathing room can be especially helpful when you’re making decisions that impact everyday life.

Taking an Intentional Approach

Whether you’re considering a move, planning improvements, or simply paying closer attention to how your home feels, this season invites a steady, intentional approach. A home should support the life unfolding inside it, and taking the time to prepare now can help the months ahead feel more grounded, calm, and confident.

Focus on Maintenance

February is a great month to focus on maintenance rather than major renovations. Addressing small repairs, checking heating systems, improving lighting, or refreshing frequently used areas can make a noticeable difference. Kitchens, in particular, tend to carry a lot of weight in family life, and modest updates, done thoughtfully, can enhance both comfort and long-term value without unnecessary disruption.

Exploring the Wonders of the Human Anatomy

What Do My Kidneys Do?

The answer is, quite a lot! The kidneys, which are part of the urinary system, are two bean-shaped organs, each about five inches long and three inches wide – about the size of a fist. They are located just below the rib cage, one on each side of the spine. The kidneys play an important role in keeping the body functioning properly. Some of their important jobs include making hormones that help control your blood pressure; making red blood cells; and keeping your bones strong and healthy.

Perhaps the kidneys’ most important job, though, is to filter your blood and help get rid of waste products from your body. As blood flows past cells and through tissues, it collects more than a hundred different types of waste, as well as any excess sodium, blood sugar, and water in the body. Carrying all these waste products, the blood then travels to the two kidneys, where the wastes and excess substances are made into a liquid called urine. The urine passes through two tubes called ureters, one extending from each kidney, until it reaches a kind of “storage bag,” called the bladder. From there the urine leaves the body.

The average person has one to one and a half gallons of blood circulating through his or her body. The kidneys filter that blood about forty times a day!

Filter System

The blood vessels entering your kidneys divide into smaller and smaller branches. These lead to tiny filtering units called nephrons , which are so small that you can only see them with a high-powered microscope. There are more than one million nephrons inside each kidney! Tiny as they are, these nephrons catch all the stuff your body doesn’t need, and they send it all out as waste.

Food for Thought

The kidney bean is named for its resemblance in both shape and color to a kidney.

Facts & Figures

Although the weight of the kidneys is less than 0.5 percent of the total body weight, they actually receive a lot more blood than the other organs in the body. Almost 25 percent of the blood pumped by the heart goes to the kidneys!

The Great Balancing Act

Another important function the kidneys perform is monitoring the amount of fluid in the body. If someone does not drink enough, and/or loses fluid through sweating, his blood contains less fluid than normal. When this blood passes through a certain part of the brain, special receptors detect the drop in water level, and the pituitary gland (housed in the brain) is stimulated to release a special hormone into the blood. When this hormone reaches the kidneys, it causes these wonder organs to increase the amount of water they absorb from the liquid they are filtering. Thus, more water is retained, and less water is sent out through waste.

Similarly, if someone drinks a lot of water, this extra fluid finds its way into the person’s bloodstream, and tells the brain receptors of the increased water level. This, in turn, informs the pituitary gland to release less of the special hormone. When the kidneys receive this message, they re-absorb less fluid back into the system, and more water is sent out through waste.

It’s pretty incredible that each little kidney, weighing just six ounces, is so complex and so advanced that some of its functions are beyond human comprehension. Surely, whatever we do know about the kidneys is enough to make us recognize the greatness and wisdom of the One Who created them.

What Are Kidney Stones?

If you ever heard someone complain that he was in pain because he had kidney stones, you probably wondered: What exactly are kidney stones, and how do they get inside the body?

Kidney stones are hard collections of minerals and salts that form inside the kidneys when too much of certain minerals, such as calcium, oxalate, and phosphorus, accumulate in the urine. These minerals are normally found in urine and do not cause problems. However, under certain conditions, these minerals can become too concentrated, and then they separate out as crystals. When these crystals in the urine attach to one another, they accumulate into a small mass, or stone. That is called a kidney stone.

Kidney stones vary in size. They can be small, like a tiny pebble, or they can be a few inches wide, or even bigger.

Most kidney stones pass out of the body on their own, without causing any harm. The smaller the kidney stone, the more likely it will pass by itself. If a stone is too large to pass on its own, several treatment options are available. Pain medicine and plenty of fluids help most people with kidney stones get better.

Staying Hydrated

Kidney stones often have no definite, single cause, although several factors may increase the risk of them. The leading cause of kidney stones is a lack of water. Kidney stones are more commonly found in people who drink less than the recommended eight to ten glasses of water a day. When you aren’t well hydrated, your urine becomes more concentrated, with higher levels of certain minerals, and when mineral levels are higher, it’s more likely that a kidney stone will form.

A Busy Bean

Kidneys pump around 400 gallons of recycled blood every day!

Fact or Fiction??

Drinking milk causes kidney stones.

This is not true. Drinking milk, which contains calcium, does not cause painful kidney stones to form. As a matter of fact, some research suggests that drinking milk is associated with loweringone’s chances of having kidney stones. According to this research, it is not too much calcium that can cause trouble, but having too little of it.