Sarina Roffé

Each year on Passover, Jews around the world sit down to the Passover seder to remember the difficult years their ancestors spent as slaves in Egypt, and their miraculous deliverance. At the seder, we read the story, eat certain foods, and pass on the story to our children and grandchildren.

When preparing the Passover seder, it is important to understand the importance and symbolism of each of the traditional foods. The word “seder” itself means “order,” and we call the seder by this name because we must do things in a certain sequence. That order reflects priority, as indicated by Rabbi Avraham Dayan, a”h, of Aleppo.

The Seder Plate

When setting the table for the Passover seder, we prepare a special seder plate, which sits in the center of the table. The plate can be a fancy silver platter, or a simple child’s plate made in school. What’s important is not the plate, but the items on the plate. Six foods are placed on the plate, each of which is symbolic, reminding us of the bitterness of bondage of our ancestors.

The seder plate is topped with three matzot and covered.

The six foods on the seder plate are:

1. a roasted lamb shank

2. karpas, usually a celery heart

3. maror (romaine or endive heart)

4. haroset

5. hard boiled or roasted egg

6. salt or vinegar water

The word “karpas” contains the word kaper (“atone”) and the letter “samekh” (“60”), referring to the atonement for the sins of the 60 ten-thousand (or 600,000) Jews who left Egypt.

After kiddush, and the drinking of the first cup of wine, we wash our hands, and the blessing is recited on the karpas (celery), which is dipped in either salt water (according to Ashkenazic

custom) or vinegar water (Sephardic custom) to remind us of the bitter tears of bondage. The karpas represents hope and redemption.

The Three Questions

Then the person leading the seder takes the three matzot and breaks the middle one into two pieces, designating one as the afikomen and wrapping it in a sack. At this point, the tray is removed from the table, usually by the eldest unwed girl.

It is customary among Syrian Jews for the sack to go around the table, and for each person to take it in their left hand and place it on the right shoulder. They are asked three questions – “Where are you coming from?” (Answer: Egypt); “Where are you going?” (Answer: Jerusalem); “What are you carrying?” (Answer: matzah).

Moroccan Jews take the sack and tap it on the head of each person at the table while saying in Hebrew, “In haste we went out of Egypt.”

The Festive Meal

The tray is brought back to the table, and the reading of the Passover story begins. After the second cup of wine, and before the meal is served, various berachot are said over foods.

First, we wash hands, say the blessing and eat a portion of matzah. Next comes the maror (bitter herbs) dipped in haroset. This symbolizes our hope that all the bitterness of exile will be eliminated, and the Holy Temple will be rebuilt.

The sticky haroset reminds us of the cement with which the slaves made bricks in Egypt. It can be made from any number of dried fruits. Syrian Jews usually make a paste using dates, wine, finely chopped nuts, wine and cinnamon.

Next comes the korekh, a sandwich of matzah, bitter herbs (romaine), and haroset.

It is the custom of Aleppan Jews to eat the shank bone from the seder plate, before eating the egg. Syrians customarily serve lamb shanks as an entrée, with rice. (Sephardic tradition permits eating rice during Passover, whereas the practice among Ashkenazim is to refrain from rice throughout the holiday.).

Last, each person eats the hard-boiled egg before the meal, symbolic of the festival sacrifice which was offered at the Temple in Jerusalem.

While every culture offers unique ways of entertaining guests, Syrian hospitality has always been concerned with opening one’s home to friends and family in the most gracious, generous way. So the seder meal will be generous, and will include soup, a chicken dish, a beef dish, a stuffed vegetable, a rice dish and vegetables.

While each family adapts their seder to particular traditions handed down from generation to generation, the Passover story and associated foods remind us of Hashem’s hand in our lives, past, present, and future.

Sarina Roffé is a journalist and author of Backyard Kitchen: Mediterranean Salads and Backyard Kitchen: The Main Course, cookbooks based on her grandmother’s catering company Salem Catering, as well as the Sarina’s Sephardic Cuisine cooking app. The books are available on Amazon.com.

How do you feel about a person going on a trip just for relaxation?

It depends what you mean by a “trip.”

If you want to take a trip down Ocean Parkway, I’m all for it. It’s fresh air, it’s exercise, and you’re not wasting money. But a trip someplace by vehicle, airplane, or whatever it is, is not refreshing or relaxing.

Sometimes a person finds himself so confused that he needs to do anything necessary to get his mind off his troubles. I’m not talking about this kind of situation. Ordinarily, for relaxation, you don’t go on trips. Trips make you tired, and you don’t get the exercise and fresh air that help a person come back to himself. And therefore, it’s a complete waste of money.

If you’re serious about relaxation, you would take up a system of touring the city streets – by daytime, not by night – walking for miles and miles, and then coming home and eating a nice meal and going to sleep; and if necessary, going out again for a walk. But traveling is not the way to experience relaxation. People travel back and forth; they go to Israel, and to Florida, and some go to Switzerland, too. And all they do is spend money and get more and more tired…so when they come back, they need a vacation.

In Egypt, on the night of the plague of the firstborn, our ancestors were commanded to keep their doors closed and locked. Why, then, do we specifically leave our doors open on the seder nights?

We don’t.

On seder night, we open our doors to symbolically welcome Eliyahu Hanavi. But other than that, we keep our doors closed on seder night, and we make sure they’re locked. Always make sure your doors have good locks on them! We open the doors only as a symbol of our anticipation of the time when the doors will open for Am Yisrael to return home, as the verse says, “Pit’hu she’arim veyavo goi tzadik shomer emunim” (“Open the gates, and the righteous nation shall enter, keeper of the faith”). It’s only a symbol. Open the door for a short while, not for too long.

Ellen Kamaras

“For, behold, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone; the flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing has come…”

Shir Hashirim 2:11-12.

Are you looking forward to spring? I can almost smell the grass being mowed.

Spring is a time for change, rebirth, and renewal.

No more snow boots, frigid temperatures, and layering clothes.

Spring means getting outdoors and seeing things bloom, including our spirits and happiness levels. Spring liberates us physically from winter’s dark days and brings emotional emancipation and joy when we see plants and flowers beginning to grow.

To combat pandemic fatigue, spring affords opportunities to meet with family and friends outdoors, where the airflow is better and there is ample space to practice social distancing.

Wellness professionals view spring as an opportune time to check in with yourself and clarify your life purpose, values, and goals.

Which aspects of your life need tweaking? Or might benefit from a jumpstart from spring’s energizing bursts of growth?

Is it your diet or fitness habits? Your career? Or your approach to tackling your daily workload or tasks?

Even in non-pandemic times, we tend to hibernate in the cold days of winter.

Tap into the Joy of Spring

Let’s shake off those winter cobwebs. Let’s bring more joy to our daily routines, health, career, and personal and work relationships.

As Jews, spring brings Pesach, a holiday that allows us to re-visit and honor our physical and spiritual freedom.

We were slaves in Mitzrayim. Mitzrayim is derived from m’tzarim, meaning “narrow straits.” Hashem removed us from Mitrzrayim, a place of constricted opportunities. We each have various physical, financial, emotional, or health constraints.

Celebrating Pesach and reading the Haggadah can inspire us to pause and carve out time to examine our lives and our challenges and to determine what changes are needed.

I recently heard an interesting analogy about personal transformation and weeding out one’s negative habits. A weed is a wild plant that grows where it is not wanted. Assume our goal is to plant and grow tomatoes. We strive to eliminate the weeds’ roots on our lawn so that they will not dislodge our tomato plants. This process can be time-consuming and costly. Similarly, we all have bad habits and unhealthy attitudes that are our personal weeds. If we want to uproot our personal weeds, replace negative habits with positive ones, and develop healthy relationships, we need to invest time and effort.

We all know how to “force quit” and “restart” our computers when they freeze or are not functioning well. Restarting our lives does not come as easily.

It is challenging to break out of old patterns even if they are no longer serving us or we are not functioning optimally.

Ideas to Help You Reboot

Below are ideas to keep in your mental toolbox that may also help you jumpstart your spring reboot.

Personal or professional transformation is often about creating new habits to replace existing negative ones and stepping out of your comfort zone.

You do not have to be in your twenties or thirties to hit the reset button. Twice I reinvented myself professionally, once at 50 and again at 58. We learn more from our past challenges than from our successes. Stretch yourself and try something new. Even if it is a bit scary, it can be empowering.

Start small. You do not need to jump out of a plane to get outside of your comfort levels.

Remember the SMART acronym when setting goals. Make sure they are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-Sensitive.

One word of caution: Beware of adopting a change or goal because you “should” – try replacing “I should” with “I could” and DREAM BIG!

Health

Did you put on a few pounds (the pandemic fifteen) or do you feel stiff from working from home and sitting at your desk for hours on end?

One winning tool to shed some pounds and get moving is to use your commute time for exercise. Why not try a Zumba or Pilates class during the 30 minutes or the hour that you would have taken to travel to your job in the morning? Studies show that exercising in the morning is best. You start your day with endorphins in your bloodstream, and you do not have to work out later, a huge feat. Putting exercise off provides openings for other priorities to replace your workout. Research shows that one’s will power is stronger earlier in the day and you are more prone to make healthier meal selections if you exercise in the morning and build on the healthy choice you made when you began your day.

From a science perspective, when you exercise in the morning you may be less attracted to pictures of tempting food, you are more likely to amp up your physical activity during the remainder of the day, and you will have an increased metabolism and will burn more calories as you consume them. Exercising in the evening may hinder your ability to sleep.

When we work from home, food is accessible 24/7. Therefore, it is even more essential to plan healthy snacks and meals and to schedule in time to take a break and move or get some fresh air.

Choose a goal that is achievable and fits with your work and other responsibilities. If you like to walk, plan for the duration and determine your route. Try to work in a reward (like a low-fat cappuccino) at the end of the walk.

Jobs and Career

49,000 jobs were added to the job market in January and the unemployment rate decreased from 6.7% To 6.3%.

Research which companies and sectors are still hiring and be diligent about submitting job applications.

Hiring executives advise that it is vital not to overlook the #1 factor to help getting a job during the pandemic, networking. Dedicate time on a daily basis to networking. People are traveling less and staying put, which makes connecting by phone or email easier. A 2016 U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics and Yale University report concluded that 70 percent of all jobs are found through networking. Do your research on the best ways to network. Are you on LinkedIn? LinkedIn is the best way to make connections in your industry.

Consider taking online classes to keep building critical skills for your future.

Relationships

Could you use some new friends? We all need friends to lean on when bad and sad things happen, friends that we feel safe and secure with. Seek out like-minded people with shared interests and values, ones that can help you grow, meet your goals, and improve your life. Do your friends listen? Are they empathetic?

To find new friends, you have to actively search for individuals who will support you and share in your defeats and successes. Let go of toxic relationships that drain you emotionally, where you are being controlled, or where your boundaries are not respected.

Making new friends during the pandemic has been challenging but is not impossible.

Have you tried reaching out to people you have lost touch with or joined a virtual book club or a Zoom shiur? There are many free or inexpensive Zoom webinars that encourage interactions with like-minded people. These include alumni associations, synagogues, Jewish Community Centers, and more.

Ask for What You Need

In any relationship, whether a marriage or a friendship, it is important to be clear about one’s needs. It is reasonable to have expectations of our, friends, spouse, and other family members. What is unreasonable is to expect them to read our minds or to expect them to always be there for us when we need them.

The pandemic and the New Normal have heightened our feelings of anxiety, uncertainty, and lack of control. A helpful tool to remember is that the only thing we can control is how we respond to what goes wrong, namely, our actions/reactions, attitudes, and decisions. We cannot control what others do or decide. I heard a beautiful shiur that recommended controlling what you can, your attitude and personal traits. Work on enhancing your middot and values. Thank Hashem for what you have now and more berachot will follow.

Family and Parenting

Moms and dads, please continue to stay positive and practice self-care as you balance work from home with childcare and parenting responsibilities.

With spring’s arrival, spend more time with your family outdoors and unplug. Did you know that spending time in the green outdoors increases your creativity and brain function? Get yourself and your children away from the phones and computer screens. On sunny days our brain produces more serotonin, a mood-lifting chemical. Sunlight is also a natural source of vitamin D, which helps you fight various diseases, including COVID-19.

I would like to conclude with some advice from a dear friend, Chaya Benchemhoun. It’s ADAR! Choose to be happy. It’s our tradition in Adar to focus on thoughts and actions that bring us joy!

Ellen Geller Kamaras, CPA/MBA, is an International Coach Federation (ICF) Associate Certified Coach. Her coaching specialties include life, career, and dating coaching. Ellen works part-time as an entitlement specialist at Ohel Children’s Home and Family Services. She can be contacted at ellen@lifecoachellen.com (www.lifecoachellen.com)

“I want to get across the importance of caring for employees. We said, ‘let’s stick by our employees, who have been with us many years, because they’re relying on us to eat.’”

DAVE GORDON

It has been a full year since the lockdowns, social distancing, and quarantines became a part of everyday life in America, even though months earlier COVID-19 had begun its rapid spread in other countries. The destruction in the virus’ wake was not just sickness and death. Dramatic financial hardships hit at well, with millions of people losing their jobs, their businesses, and even their assets, due to the economic tailspin.

Yet, others discovered alternate paths to survive financially – and even to help others survive financially, as well.

Joseph Shamie and his company are one of many examples.

Shamie, a beloved community philanthropist, is President of Delta Enterprises, the world’s largest manufacturer of cribs and baby furniture.

Fortunately, Delta Enterprises prepared for changing conditions caused by the pandemic even before the mandated shutdown. Employees were provided laptops to ensure they could work remotely and were trained using trial runs even before the work-at-home regulations went into effect.

But Coronavirus wrought some challenges that could not be surmounted. The current pressing concern is that many shipping lines have dry-docked their vessels, Shamie explained, due to tightening COVID-19 regulations.

“If you had goods, there weren’t enough vessels [to transport them], so they had to raise their prices for when they had them available. China became the biggest exporter, even more than before,” Shamie noted. “They started charging quadruple – maybe more. With this backlog, there was a bidding war, just to get a vessel, to get your goods here.”

To make matters worse, consumer prices have not changed, which would have compensated for the losses.

Additionally, there is congestion at the U.S. port, because of sudden weather changes.

As of early February, Bloomberg reports there were three dozen docked ships, not able go back to China to reload. In addition, UPS and FedEx are backlogged. “This is because more people are buying online than ever before,” Shamie said. “So, logistics, due to the pandemic, has become the biggest issue out there.”

Yet despite it all, Shamie took great care to weather the storm with a steady hand, making sure his team of 120 people were taken care of.

When the pandemic issues came to the fore, he and his brother Sam decided not to lay off anyone, and they did not reduce salaries. “I want to get across the importance of caring for employees. We said, ‘let’s stick by our employees, who have been with us many years, because they’re relying on us to eat.’” Shamie noted that this was all done at a cost to the company.

“Don’t abandon them when there is an issue, and when they need us most,” Shamie said. “Do this because it is the right thing to do. And guess what. You will build a more loyal team.”

Citrus-A-Peel – Douglas Hartt

Small businesses had their own hurdles, as well, and some like New Jersey’s Citrus-A-Peel thankfully have been able to pivot their services.

Douglas Hartt is the CEO of Citrus-A-Peel, a carpet and upholstery cleaning company. The company was forced to adapt because the Covid-19 reality made the carpet and upholstery cleaning industry almost non-existent. People were no longer ready to allow strangers into their homes, for obvious reasons, not to mention the issue of shrinking dispensable incomes.

“Nothing was coming in, and I knew nothing would come in for a little while. I became a fulltime dad,” Hartt said.

Then, two months later, a daycare center called to use his disinfecting and cleaning services, and something clicked. He made cold calls to other daycares, and this has become his mainstay. As of late, he reached out to previous customers to let them know of all of the precautions that are being taken – including personal protective gear, latex gloves, and sterile boots. This knowledge helped to assuaged the customers’ fears.

Fireside Strategic – Dan King

Another entrepreneur found his new niche by leveraging what is now so often used during the pandemic: virtual meetings.

Dan King, co-founder of Fireside Strategic, began his professional life as a corporate lawyer, and never imagined that his career would take him to creating webinars for CEOs. After months of research with his business partner, they were ready to launch their new company in March of 2020. Their goal was to create an agency that would represent executive and leadership coaches selling their services to larger companies.

But as launch week hit, so did the alarms of Coronavirus. “In the midst of so much business uncertainty, we figured organizations would probably be reducing discretionary spending on things like performance coaching, so we threw our research out the window,” says the Brooklyn-based entrepreneur.

“At first, we had no idea what to do instead. So, we decided we’d better talk to a whole bunch of potential organizational customers and see how we could help.”

King and his business partner came up with the concept of hosting their own video cast for CEOs – much like a podcast, but via webinar – and teaching businesspeople how to do the same. Ninety interviews and a year later, they have thus far interviewed a billionaire, some top Silicon Valley founders, and the current #1 Amazon bestselling author in the management segment.

“An interview show for us is first and foremost about meeting and learning from a fascinating person. If you ask thoughtfully, it’s a very easy way to connect with extremely high-level people, since you are creating content for them, and helping them get their message out. Once you’ve got that initial connection point, you can nurture the relationship towards a sale, a referral partner, an advisor, and so much more,” King noted.

“In the middle of the pandemic when there is just so much pain and suffering, it’s hard to carve out a space to celebrate what is beautiful in the moment. There is always going to be a reason for optimism. There is always going to be some meaning, and from that meaning a possibility for optimism. So, we can give guests the experience of celebrating what is awesome about what they are doing.”

The Take-Away Message

We can all learn some lessons from these entrepreneurs, those who have been able to brainstorm ways to modify their business model to survive the “new normal.” It should give us all hope, that even when we hit a wall, know that there is a way around it, over it, or through it. It takes trust in Gd, some pro-active changes on our end, and the knowledge that, as King David once said, “this, too, is good.”

What are the health advantages of optimism and how does one adopt an optimistic approach to life?

1. Optimism is the belief that things will work out in the best possible manner. Optimists tend to believe that they will successfully overcome obstacles and will achieve their goals. For example: optimists under-estimate their risk of getting sick and over-estimate their chances of getting better.

2. Optimists believe that failure is caused due to situations that are passing, specific, and external to them. The pessimist will mostly claim what happened was his own fault.

3. Many extensive studies show that optimists tend to deal better with pressurized situations, recover more quickly from acute medical events, and adjust better to chronic illness. After having bypass surgery or a biopsy, optimists heal faster and have a lower risk of being re-hospitalized. Optimists generally have less psychological stress when undergoing fertility treatment.

4. One study that measured heart and vascular functioning of optimists found that optimists did better than pessimists for both heart and vascular functioning. This study, which measured 5,100 people’s blood pressure, weight, height, blood sugar, and cholesterol levels, revealed that the optimists were 76% more likely to have good measurements.

5. Another study shows that people with a positive life outlook had a healthier heart and immune system, a higher tolerance for pain, and recovered more quickly from cancer. Researchers in Ben-Gurion University found that optimistic women had a lower risk of being

diagnosed with breast cancer and women that went through trauma (which can lead to a loss of optimism) had a risk factor for breast cancer tens of percentage points higher.

6. More than that, a long-term study that included 900 seniors found that the higher their optimism was the lower the chance was that they would die within the next ten years. The impact optimism has on physical health is especially strong and the benefits of having an optimistic outlook are considered equal to quitting smoking!

Okay, I’m convinced. Now how can I adopt an optimistic approach to life?

Recognizing the Good – Are you aware of the good things in your life? Write up a list and identify all the positive things in all your various circles of life. Give thanks and share your experience with your friends.

Make Lemons into Lemonade – Negative experiences are an unavoidable part of our lives. Reframe them in a positive light by asking these questions. Can this be interpreted in a more positive way? Could any good come out of this? Is there an opportunity hidden here? What can I learn from this that I can use later?

Sort out your Thoughts – Focus your thoughts on things that are difficult for you. What thoughts crop up in your mind? Are there many thoughts running around up there or is it one constant nagging thought? Try to think about these problems in a rational manner instead of responding emotionally.

Worries and Fears Are the Enemies of Optimism – Treat debilitating thoughts like background noise, like voices coming from a radio in your vicinity. You can hear them but do not focus on them. Show yourself that you are not listening.

Got a Pessimism Attack? – Do not fight it. Do not judge your thoughts. If you relate to them with curiosity and forgiveness you will cope with them better. Even so, try to steer your mind back on track, focusing on the good. Every time your thoughts go to negative places recognize it and refocus your attention with mindful contemplation.

Pnina Souid

The Mitzvah Man was listening to a class delivered by Rabbi Meyer Yedid, during which the rabbi told a famous story of a man who asked the Bet Halevi (Rav Yosef Dov Soloveitchik of Brisk, 1820-1892) if he could use milk instead of wine for the cups at the seder on Pesach. Rather than answer the question, the Bet Halevi handed the man an envelope containing a large amount of money. The man clarified that he had come to ask a halachic question, not to request charity. But the Bet Halevi insisted that he take the money, which he could, if he so wished, consider a loan instead of charity.

After the man left, the Rebbetzin asked why the rabbi gave this fellow such a large amount of money. After all, just a few rubles would have sufficed to enable him to buy wine. The Bet Halevi replied, “If this man was asking such a question, then he must have no food to feed his family and no money to buy them clothes and shoes for the holiday.”

The Mitzvah Man compared the Bet Halevi to Avraham Avinu, who was able to look deeply and see what a person really needed. Whereas most people just see the surface, great people like Avraham and Bet Halevi see beyond the surface and truly understand each individual’s plight.

The Mitzvah Man told me that this class brought to mind an incident that took place eight years ago. A Hassidic gentleman, Rabbi Schwartz, came to him and said he needed a car.

“It is hard for me to ask for this,” Rabbi Schwartz said, “but I need a car for my livelihood. I am not able to keep a regular job because I must care for my family. My wife is not well. She is in the hospital. Two of my children are autistic and are currently in separate hospitals. I travel to three hospitals a day and take care of the children at home and collect charity. A car would be a life saver.”

The Mitzvah Man told Rabbi Schwartz that he would see what he could do. Sure enough, he managed to find a car for him, and Rabbi Schwartz was very grateful.

But the Mitzvah Man realized that this family needed a lot more than a car. He turned to Rabbi Schwartz and asked, “What else do you need?”

“What else do I need?!” the man responded, incredulously. “What do you mean? You just gave me a car!”

The Mitzvah Man repeated, “What else do you need?”

“We have a wedding coming up,” Rabbi Schwartz said. “My wife and daughter need wedding gowns.”

The Mitzvah Man was able to get two new wedding gowns.

Again, the Mitzvah Man asked Rabbi Schwartz, “What else can I do for you?”

Rabbi Schwartz told him that his wife and the bride need wigs. The Mitzvah Man got to work and obtained wigs.

The Mitzvah Man persisted, “What else? You have a large family.”

Rabbi Schwartz sighed and said, “Baruch Hashem, we are making another simha – my son is becoming bar mitzvah. It looks like he’ll have to borrow tefillin every day.”

“Absolutely not!” said the Mitzvah Man. “We will get him new tefillin.” And he did.

“What else can we do for you?”

The family needed furniture – a couch, a kitchen table, and chairs. They needed shades for the windows, and food for the upcoming holiday of Pesah. Mitzvah Man took care of it all.

All this was accomplished because the Mitzvah Man learned that you must look deeper into the situation. And when he looked deeper, he realized that Rabbi Schwartz and his family needed more than a car.

As the Mitzvah Man explained: “When someone needs help, we have to put ourselves in that person’s shoes.”

The Mitzvah Man told me another story of a young man who started going to his shul. He would walk in on Shabbat with a ponytail, wearing an earring, a sweater, and jeans. The Mitzvah Man went over to greet him.

“Nice to see you,” he said.

The Mitzvah Man told his friends to go over and greet this fellow so he would feel comfortable. The man started attending more frequently, and gradually began dressing more appropriately.

“We have to look deeper,” the Mitzvah Man reflects. “We must let ourselves feel what the person is going through. We must look beyond the surface and ask the first question – ‘How can I help you?’ – and then go further and ask: ‘What else do you need?’”