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Building Dreams Together – The Open Palm vs. The Closed Fist

Jack Gindi

I recently read a story about renowned physicist Richard Feynman as a young boy, walking with his father and learning about the world around him. Other children could proudly name the birds they saw. They had memorized them perfectly. But his father asked a different question: “What does it do? How does it move? What makes it different?”

He wasn’t teaching his son to label the world. He was teaching him to observe it. To stay curious. To look longer than everyone else.

Feynman later said the easiest person to fool is yourself.

That line stays with me.

Because I’ve seen how easily we fool ourselves, not with ignorance, but with certainty.

An Open Palm or a Closed Fist

Some people move through life with an open palm. Others move through it with a closed fist.

An open palm is willing to learn. A closed fist fights to be right.

Now here’s something important: I live with certainty. I always have.

When I entered the real estate brokerage business, I was certain of one thing. I would become a top producer. I didn’t know how. I had no connections, no playbook, no roadmap. But I was certain of the destination.

That certainty didn’t close my hand. It opened it.

Because I didn’t know how, I had to watch. I had to ask questions. I studied the best. I followed leads. I failed. I adjusted.

My certainty was about where I was going. My openness was about how I would get there.

There’s a difference.

A closed fist says, “I already know.”

An open palm says, “Teach me.”

When Certainty Turns into Fear

We see this posture in the smallest moments. A disagreement at the dinner table. Feedback at work. A spouse pointing something out. A child asking a hard question.

Something challenges what we believe, and we feel it, that tightening. We defend. We explain. We protect our position.

That tightening can feel like strength.

But often, it’s fear.

Fear of being wrong. Fear of losing control. Fear of discovering we still have more to learn.

The most dangerous certainty isn’t believing you’re right. It’s believing you no longer need to grow.

You cannot receive anything new with a clenched hand. Not wisdom. Not correction. Not even deeper connection.

I learned this the long way.

There were seasons in my life when I believed standing firm meant refusing to question myself. I thought strength meant holding my ground at all costs. Over time, I discovered something humbling: when my hand was closed, nothing new could enter.

Wisdom does not force its way in.

It waits for space.

Naming Isn’t the Same as Seeing

We label situations quickly: “That’s just how I am.” “That’s the problem.” “That’s the answer.”

Once we’ve named it, we believe we’ve mastered it.

But naming isn’t seeing.

Seeing requires humility, the willingness to look again.

And humility is not weakness. It is strength under control.

Our children are watching this more than we realize. They don’t learn humility from lectures. They learn it by watching how we respond when we’re corrected.

Do we listen? Do we reconsider? Do we admit when we’re wrong? Or do we tighten our grip?

Confidence without curiosity becomes arrogance. Conviction without openness becomes blindness.

The Strongest Posture

The strongest posture I’ve found in life is this:

Be certain about your direction.
Stay open about your method.

Be certain about your values.
Be open about how you apply them.

Be certain about who you are becoming.
Be open about what you still need to learn.

Before you leave this thought tonight, ask yourself:

Where in my life am I certain about the outcome but closed to learning the path?
When was the last time I truly changed my mind?
What belief might I be holding too tightly?

Growth does not require abandoning conviction. It requires loosening our grip on how things must unfold.

Wisdom is not something we conquer. It is something we receive. And it can only enter an open hand. Onwards together – with love and gratitude.

When the Walk to Shul Stops Feeling Ordinary

Why Brooklyn’s Jewish Community Must Speak Up Now

Linda Argalgi Sadacka

In Brooklyn’s Jewish neighborhoods, certain scenes are so familiar that we rarely pause to notice them.

On Shabbat morning, fathers walk with their sons toward shul. Mothers guide small children down the block. Teenagers drift toward friends already waiting outside synagogue doors. Grandparents move more slowly along the same sidewalks they have walked for decades, sometimes leaning on a cane, sometimes arm in arm with a spouse or child.

In neighborhoods like Flatbush, Midwood, Gravesend, and the surrounding communities, the walk to shul is not simply routine. It is one of the quiet, defining rhythms of Jewish life.

No one used to think twice about it.

New Question of Safety

Which is why the question many Brooklyn families now quietly ask would have sounded unimaginable not long ago: will the walk to shul always feel safe?

For generations, Brooklyn represented something powerful for Jewish life. It was a place where Jewish families could practice their faith openly, build institutions, and raise children with the confidence that their synagogues were places of prayer, dignity, and community.

But since October 7, the atmosphere surrounding Jewish institutions in New York has shifted in ways that many families feel every week.

Sometimes the change is subtle. Sometimes it is unmistakable.

Security outside Jewish schools has increased. Synagogues have become more vigilant. Parents walking with their children to services find themselves paying closer attention to their surroundings.

A Pivotal Event

For many Brooklyn residents, the moment when that tension became impossible to ignore came during the protest outside Congregation Shaare Zion on Ocean Parkway, when demonstrators gathered outside the synagogue in response to a planned appearance by Israeli National Security Minister Itamar Ben-Gvir.

Supporters also arrived, and police were forced to separate the groups as tensions escalated. Clashes broke out, arrests were made, and the event was eventually canceled.

For those watching the scene unfold, the most unsettling aspect was not the political disagreement itself. New Yorkers are accustomed to protests. The city has always been a place where people gather to express strong views about global events.

What made this moment different was where it was happening. This was not a demonstration outside a government building or a public plaza. It was unfolding outside a synagogue where families had gathered for a community event and where worshippers regularly come to pray.

Once protests move to the doors of houses of worship, the nature of the confrontation changes.

Sanctity of the Synagogue

A synagogue is not a ministry or a parliament. The people walking through its doors are not policymakers or negotiators. They are parents bringing children to services, elderly congregants attending prayer, and families participating in the rhythms of Jewish life.

Yet the protest outside Shaare Zion was not an isolated moment. Similar scenes have taken place outside Jewish institutions across New York, including outside Park East Synagogue in Manhattan, where protesters gathered while congregants attempted to attend services.

Moments like these raise a troubling question: if houses of worship become routine protest sites, what happens to the ordinary act of entering a synagogue?

Children absorb these moments in ways adults sometimes overlook.

A child approaching synagogue should be thinking about prayer, about friends waiting inside, about the warmth of community. That child should not be processing hostility directed toward the place where their family gathers to worship.

The elderly feel this tension as well.

Anyone who has watched older congregants make their way slowly toward synagogue understands how vulnerable that walk can already be. Many move carefully. Some rely on assistance. To place them in the middle of emotionally charged demonstrations is not merely inconvenient. It is deeply unsettling.

Buffer Zones

The debate over buffer zones around houses of worship grew out of precisely these concerns.

Within a week of the October 7 attacks, as protests began spreading throughout New York City, I reached out to members of Mayor Eric Adams’s staff to raise the idea of establishing buffer zones around houses of worship. Watching demonstrations escalate so quickly, it seemed clear that the city needed to think several steps ahead.

The proposal never advanced to the level of serious policy discussion.

Fast forward to City Hall, where the New York City Council recently held a nearly ten-hour hearing debating legislation that would allow the NYPD to establish limited buffer zones around houses of worship and schools.

The proposal, part of a broader effort introduced by Council Speaker Julie Menin to combat rising anti-Semitism and hate crimes, does not prohibit protest. Demonstrators would still be able to assemble and express their views.

What the legislation seeks to do is to ensure that protests do not take place directly at the entrances of houses of worship where worshippers must pass to enter.

For many members of the Jewish community, that distinction is both reasonable and necessary.

Community Members Take a Stand

During the hearing, several voices from the community articulated that concern directly.

Community activist Abie Hamra addressed lawmakers and made a straightforward point: the First Amendment protects freedom of speech and freedom of assembly, but those rights do not extend to blocking access to houses of worship or interfering with another person’s ability to pray.

Cities impose reasonable time, place, and manner restrictions all the time. Ensuring safe access to houses of worship should not be controversial.

District leader Joey Saban also emphasized the importance of legislation introduced by Senator Sam Sutton. In addition to serving in the Assembly, Saban is also Senator Sutton’s Chief of Staff.

“The buffer zone legislation introduced by Senator Sutton is precisely why it is so important that we have a seat at the table,” Saban said. “Through his leadership we have been able to introduce a major piece of legislation that will have a direct effect on keeping our community safe at a critically fragile time for the Jewish community in New York.”

I was invited to testify during the hearing as well. Because I was available earlier in the morning and could not remain until my scheduled speaking slot later in the day, I submitted my testimony to the Council by email.

Addressing Arguments by Opponents of Buffer Zones

In my testimony I addressed an argument raised by several opponents of the legislation.

During the discussion, much of the justification for protests centered on claims that certain religious institutions host events connected to political or international disputes. People may strongly disagree with those issues, and protest is a protected and important part of democracy. But the individuals walking into a synagogue, church, or mosque are not policymakers or negotiators. They are ordinary people coming to pray.

If disagreement with an idea becomes justification for confronting people at the doorway of a house of worship, then no doorway remains neutral ground.

Parents arrive pushing strollers. Grandparents move slowly with walkers. Families come seeking prayer, comfort, and community. They should not have to pass through shouting crowds or emotionally charged demonstrations simply to enter a religious space. At that point, it ceases to be protest and becomes intimidation.

Buffer zones do not silence protest. Demonstrators remain visible and heard. What buffer zones do is create a margin of space so that worshippers are not forced into confrontation simply to practice their faith.

Devorah Halberstam and Inna Vernikov

Among those who also addressed lawmakers was Devorah Halberstam, whose son Ari was murdered in a terrorist attack on the Brooklyn Bridge in 1994. For decades she has worked to combat anti-Semitism and advocate for Jewish safety in New York.

Speaking during the hearing, she urged lawmakers to pass the legislation for Ari, a”h, and ensure that houses of worship remain places where families can gather without fear.

Council Member Inna Vernikov has also expressed support for protecting access to houses of worship, emphasizing that while protest is a protected right, intimidation that interferes with the free practice of religion should not be tolerated.

Troubling Trends

Still, beyond individual statements, many Jewish New Yorkers are concerned about a broader convergence of troubling trends.

Public sympathy for groups that openly celebrated the October 7 massacre has appeared at protests and across social media. At the same time, debates about policing and enforcement have left some communities questioning whether sufficient resources exist to respond when demonstrations escalate.

When sympathy for extremist violence, uncertainty about enforcement, and the absence of clear protections around houses of worship collide, the result can feel like a dangerous vacuum.

And that vacuum is felt most clearly at the doors of synagogues.

If the ordinary rhythms of Jewish life begin to feel uncertain, the consequences ripple outward. Parents hesitate. Children absorb the tension. The sense of security that once defined community life begins to erode.

That is why this moment cannot be met with quiet concern alone. Brooklyn’s Jewish community must make its voice heard.

Speak Up!

Residents should contact their City Council members and state representatives and tell them clearly that protecting access to houses of worship must remain a priority.

Reasonable buffer zones are not about silencing protest. They are about ensuring that families can enter synagogues without intimidation.

New Yorkers can identify their elected officials by entering their address here: https://www.mygovnyc.org.

The message should be simple. Support reasonable buffer zones around houses of worship so that worshippers can pray without fear.

Congregants should also speak with their rabbanim and community leaders and encourage them to publicly support these protections. When lawmakers hear directly from the families who fill Brooklyn’s synagogues every week, the issue becomes impossible to ignore.

The demonstration outside Shaare Zion should not become normal in Brooklyn.

The hostility seen outside Park East Synagogue should not become the expectation for Jewish families entering houses of worship anywhere in this city.

The walk to shul should remain what it has always been, a peaceful expression of faith – not an act of courage. And ensuring that it stays that way requires the community to speak up now.

From the Files of the Bet Din – Right of First Refusal?

The Case

Charles put his private home on the market for sale. Hymie, his next-door neighbor, was interested in the property and offered to match any price Charles received from the outside. By word of mouth, Charles found Ralph, a customer who was willing to pay 2.7 million dollars upfront for the property and go to closing within two weeks. Charles contacted Hymie and notified him of Ralph’s offer.  Hymie agreed to match the purchase price. However, he requested a mortgage contingency contract with a thirty-day window to obtain a loan from the bank. Hymie reassured Charles that he was in good standing with the bank and was probably eligible to receive a loan, but Charles rejected Hymie’s offer in favor of Ralph’s immediate cash payment. Charles signed with Ralph and accepted a deposit for the sale.

Hymie was disheartened by the refusal of his long-time friend and neighbor, and he reached out to other community members to intervene on his behalf. As a result, Charles had a change of heart and verbally agreed to sell his property to Hymie with a mortgage contingency. Charles contacted Ralph and notified him of the latest developments and unilaterally sent him back his deposit.

At first, Ralph refused to hear any of the details of the story and was prepared to enforce his contract. Hymie got involved then, contacting Ralph and claiming that as a next-door neighbor he had a right of first refusal of the property. He further insisted that by Torah law Ralph was required to walk away from the deal. At this point, Ralph did not want the argument to escalate and suggested the matter be resolved in Bet Din. The three signed on for the customary binding of arbitration and presented their cases to our Bet Din.

Who is entitled to purchase the property, Hymie or Ralph?  How should the Bet Din rule and why?

Torah Law

According to the ruling of the Shulhan Aruch, a next-door neighbor maintains the right of first refusal in the event the adjoining property to his home is up for sale. The rationale for this ruling is based on a verse in the Torah that requires one at times to go beyond the letter of the law for the sake of his brother. Since a next-door neighbor stands to gain significantly from purchasing the adjoining property, it is incumbent on an outside buyer to allow the neighbor the right of first refusal. In the event the outside buyer purchases the property without legal confirmation from the neighbor, a Bet Din will elect to evict him from the property, and allow the neighbor to make the acquisition.

The above ruling is subject to numerous provisions and restrictions and a competent halachic authority must be consulted before awarding a neighbor the right to purchase the adjoining property to his home. In instances in which the seller is posed with a disadvantage if he sells to the neighbor and not the outside buyer the law of “right of first refusal” is not applicable. Numerous scenarios are discussed by the great Sages of the Talmud that illustrate common disadvantages, including a neighbor who is willing to match the purchase price of an outside buyer, but requests a mortgage contingency. Since the outside buyer is ready to close immediately the neighbor is denied the right to purchase. Albeit, if the seller is willing to wait for his neighbor to come up with the funds needed, the outside buyer is required to step away from the deal in the meantime.

Leading halachic authorities debate whether the above ruling is applicable in instances in which at first the seller denied the neighbor on account of his mortgage contingency request, only to later change his mind in favor.  Early halachic sources rule that once the seller legally commits to an outside buyer willing to close immediately, he may no longer reverse his decision and sell the property to his neighbor. Since the outside buyer established a legal holding on the property, he is entitled to complete his purchase without moral concern for the neighbor. Although another reputable halachic opinion rules to the contrary, this latter opinion is nevertheless overruled.

 As aforementioned, an outside buyer is removed from the property if he halachically violated the rights of the adjoining neighbor. Nevertheless, in instances in which there is a halachic debate whether a neighbor is presently entitled to evict the outside buyer, the neighbor is rejected. Since the outside buyer is already in possession of the property, the neighbor may not claim rights of ownership in case of a halachic debate of the Sages. Rather the outside buyer in possession of the property can keep his purchase relying on the opinion that supports his position.

Endnotes: Baba Metziah 108b, Shulhan Aruch Hoshen Mishpat 175, Sema 175:7, Teshuvat HaRashba 2:85, Pithei Teshuva 175:11, Divrei Shalom H.M. 8, pg.13, Shulhan Aruch Hoshen Mishpat 175:45.

VERDICT: Too Late

Our Bet Din ruled in favor of Ralph and denied Hymie the neighbor the right to purchase Charles’s home. As mentioned in Torah law, Ralph purchased the home only after Charles legally rejected Hymie because he was unable to close immediately. Since Charles was not required to wait for Hymie to get an approval for a mortgage, and furthermore there was no guarantee the bank would extend him a loan, the law of “right of first refusal” is not applicable. Hence, although Charles later changed his mind, it was simply too late. Once Hymie lost the legal right to purchase, it cannot be reinstated. Hence, Charles is required to accept the return of the deposit and close the sale of his property with Ralph. As mentioned in Torah law, leading halachic authorities rule that although Charles is now willing to sell the property to Hymie his neighbor, at this point, Ralph has no further moral obligation to Hymie and is entitled to his acquisition.

In Loving Memory of Vera Bat Carol, A”H

YOU BE THE JUDGE

The Rightful Heir

Jack wrote a handwritten last will and testament back in 2007. Upon his passing in 2019, the will was found with Jack’s papers in his safety deposit box.  The will was not prepared by a lawyer nor was it notarized or signed by witnesses. Jack simply affixed his signature to the bottom of a briefly written statement. In the will, Jack offered to gift his private home to the child that provides full-time room and board his son Joey, a special child. In 2007 when Jack wrote the will his only daughter was not yet married. In 2019, prior to Jack’s passing, his daughter, then married, took Joey into her home for nearly six months before sending him off to a facility that provides for all of Joey’s needs. Jack’s daughter and son-in-law presented the handwritten document to our Bet Din claiming that their father legally gifted them his home since they provided room and board for Joey. Jack’s two sons acknowledged that they were aware of the document their father wrote before their sister provided room and board for their brother Joey, but they were nevertheless unwilling to transfer the property over to their sister.  The two brothers defended that it was not their father’s intent to gift his daughter the home for a mere six months of room and board. They explained that back in 2007 the circumstances were different and there was a real concern for Joey’s welfare.

Who should inherit the father’s home? How should the Bet Din rule and why?

A New Home for Healing

The Morris I. Franco Community Cancer Center Opens Its Doors to a New Chapter

For nearly thirty years, Nancy Sutton has made sure that no one in the community faces cancer alone. From the very first phone call, she and her team at the Cancer Center have been there – guiding patients and families through one of the most overwhelming experiences of their lives. For many clients, that first call comes during a moment of fear or uncertainty. Although it starts with needing doctors and referrals, the center understands that behind every diagnosis is a person, a family, and a story, and their mission has always been to offer compassion, guidance, hope, and support.

What began as architectural drawings and construction plans slowly transformed into a welcoming, vibrant center designed to serve thousands of people in the years ahead. After years of dreaming, planning, and building, that mission finally has a home that reflects everything it stands for.

The new building, located at the corner of McDonald Avenue and Avenue S in Brooklyn, is nearing its grand opening. For Nancy, the goal was to create an oasis.

“As soon as you walk in the door, you feel relaxed and welcomed,” she says. “Tranquil – that’s the word.”

From the first step, atmosphere sets the tone. Natural light pours through large windows, filling the space with an airy, open feeling. Gentle greenery and warm wood tones create a sense of nature indoors. Throughout the building, the soft sound of a waterfall flows quietly in the background, creating a peaceful rhythm that can be heard from many areas of the center. The effect is immediate – calmness, warmth, and a feeling of serenity.

The environment was designed intentionally to help clients breathe, slow down, and feel supported. Whether someone is coming for support services, a wellness program, or simply to attend a community event, the center welcomes them into a space that feels peaceful and alive.

For many visitors, the building itself becomes part of the healing experience.

Building Vision

The search for the right location took nearly a decade. Once the property was secured, construction – led by general contractor ABECO – spanned more than four years.

Every detail was thoughtfully considered, from the bamboo paneling and expansive atrium to the greenery cascading down the building’s facade.

The goal was not simply to build a medical support facility, but to create a place that feels uplifting and restorative.

“The more you care about every tiny detail, the happier you will be with the final product,” reflects Sam Sutton, chairman of the building committee. “This was a work of love, and the building reflects the love our community has for anyone touched by this disease.”

Architect Michael Goldblum, who worked closely with Nancy throughout the process, designed the space around a two-story, light-filled lobby that serves as the building’s heart.

“No matter where you go, you always know where you are,” he explains. “The building is part of the therapy, part of the process, part of the cure – it’s part of the healing.”

Board member Alan Tobias, who stepped in as project manager during the final stretch, watched that vision come together piece by piece.

“It was like a puzzle,” he says. “All the parts were separate, and then suddenly they came together. That felt very good.”

A Space That Heals

Step inside, and the scope of what has been created becomes clear.

At a spa lounge, with a waterfall and soothing music, acupuncture, Reiki, and reflexology are offered. The peaceful sounds and calming scents in the spa create an environment that immediately relaxes visitors.

In the salon, clients can be fitted for a wig and receive a full beauty treatment. Artisans of wig selection and styling staff the salon. The salon provides a private, uplifting space where clients can feel like themselves again. For many individuals undergoing treatment, these small moments of self-care can restore confidence and provide an emotional boost on difficult days.

There is also a creative expression room where adults and children can heal through art, music, and other creative activities. A full gym and yoga studio are located on the first floor. Yoga classes focus on breathing, calm, and gentle movement, helping participants reconnect with their bodies and find moments of peace during challenging times.

A children’s room provides younger visitors with a space where healing can occur through play and creativity. The room includes games, activities, and music that give children an opportunity to express themselves, relax, and enjoy being kids.

The building includes a café and demonstration kitchen that feels sweet, warm, and inviting. Here, healthy cooking demonstrations are offered regularly, teaching practical ways to prepare nourishing meals. These events are open not only to cancer patients but to the broader community as well, helping everyone learn how healthy choices can support long-term wellness.

Private counseling rooms provide psychological and emotional support for individuals and families, navigating difficult moments. Support groups, wellness workshops, and educational events will take place throughout the year, encouraging open conversations about emotional well-being.

The center will also host social gatherings, holiday celebrations, preventive health care,  and community events designed to bring people together. These moments of connection are just as important as the wellness services themselves, helping people feel less alone on their journeys.

Another special feature of the center is its rooftop garden terrace, a peaceful retreat that offers clients a moment of calm above the activity of the building below. Designed as a quiet sanctuary, the rooftop provides a place where visitors can step outside, take a deep breath, and simply be still. Surrounded by greenery and open sky, the terrace allows clients and their families to enjoy fresh air and natural light in a setting that feels both peaceful and restorative.

Throughout the building, great care was taken to create spaces where clients feel comfortable and respected. The center is designed to offer both welcoming community areas and quieter corners like the medical library, for those who prefer a more personal setting. The center cultivates an environment that supports each person in whatever way they need during their journey.

Interior designer Joy Silvers poured herself into every room – but her connection to the center runs far deeper than design.

She is a former patient – someone who Nancy once guided through both breast cancer and lymphoma.

“I didn’t know if I was going to survive,” she says quietly. “I had a baby who was a year and a half. Now my son is 21, and I’m so blessed. “Working on the building was deeply personal. To see someone who isn’t well walk into a beautiful environment and feel happy – that’s extra special.”

Staff members often see firsthand how meaningful the space can be for clients.

Nina Tawil describes the experience of welcoming people into the building.

“I love seeing the look on the clients’ faces when they walk in the door,” she says. “Showing them this beautiful space always excites me because I know this is a haven for them to come to and enjoy and put their mind at ease while they’re going through trying times. I see the sense of calmness and ease they feel when they walk in.”

A Place for the Whole Community

Claire Cheika, Vice President, reflects, “There’s a genuine sense of warmth here that makes you want to be part of something so meaningful and give as a volunteer.”

Volunteers help assemble welcome packages and thoughtful gifts for clients beginning their journey. They assist with preparing flowers for Shabbat and preparing delicious, nourishing meals. Families facing illness can still experience a genuine sense of support in their day-to-day lives. Volunteers also play an important role in organizing fundraising events, planning community programs, and helping bring the center’s mission to life.

Holiday celebrations and special gatherings throughout the year will continue to make the center a place where people come together for joy and connection.

Educational programs, wellness demonstrations, and community events will encourage people to learn about healthy living, prevention, and emotional resilience. The center hopes to inspire individuals and families to care for their health in meaningful ways.

Built by the Community

None of this would have been possible without the community.

Fundraising was led by Sam Sutton, and support poured in from donors who believed deeply in the mission. Government funding, secured through the Sephardic Community Federation, helped bring the final touches of the building to life.

The builder who worked on the project captured the feeling perfectly:

“This wasn’t just about constructing a functional space. It was about creating somewhere people could feel supported and welcomed during one of the most difficult times in their lives.”

Nancy sums it up simply.

“When I see clients walk in and say, ‘Oh my… we get to come here?!’- that’s when we knew we got it right.”

No single person built this center. It took a team, a community, years of dedication – and Hashem’s helping hand. It is a refuge where people can find peace, strength, and support. And now, at last, it’s home.

The Lighter Side – March 2026

Kosher Compliance

It was Passover and two Jewish attorneys, Saul and David, who worked downtown, met at a food court to have lunch. Saul and David proceeded to produce matzah sandwiches from their briefcases and began to eat.

One of the waiters in the food court marched over and told them, “You can’t eat your own food in here!”

Saul and David looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders, and then exchanged matzah sandwiches.

Morris Z.

Foolproof Logic

Yankele the shoemaker thinks that he is the wisest person in the town, when in actuality, he is the most foolish. In fact, the town folk tell him on a daily basis that he is a fool. One day Yankele hears the rabbi quote from the Bible that the Almighty protects the foolish. Yankele decides that this is his opportunity. “I’ll jump off the highest building in town. If the Almighty protects me then I am truly a fool, but I won’t get hurt, and if I get hurt then I’ll have proven to all that I am a wise man.”  Off he goes, and he jumps off the roof of the town’s only three-story building. Of course, he falls badly and breaks many bones. While the town folk rush him to the hospital they hear him moaning, “I am not just a wise man. I am a genius!”

Michael T.

Doctor, Doctor

A mechanic was removing a cylinder-head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted his cardiologist, Dr. Simon Goldstein, in his shop. Dr. Goldstein was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike when the mechanic shouted across the garage “Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?”

Goldstein, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, “So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just like new.

“So how come I make such a small salary – and you get the really big bucks? You and I are doing basically the same work!”

Dr. Goldstein paused, smiled, and leaned over, then whispered to the mechanic, “’Try doing it with the engine running.”

Lori G.

Busy as a Bee

Two wasps buzz around what is left of a rose bush. “How are you this month?” asks wasp number one. “Not too good,” says wasp two. “Lotta rain, lotta cold. Not enough flowers, not enough pollen.”

The first wasp has an idea. “Hey, why don’t you go down the corner and hang a left? There’s a bar mitzvah going on. Plenty of flowers and fruit.” Wasp two buzzes, “Thanks!” and takes off.

An hour later, the wasps bump into each other again. “How was the bar mitzvah?” asks the info-wasp. “Great!” says buddy-wasp.

The first wasp peers at his pal and wonders out loud, “What’s that on your head?” “A yarmulke,” he replies. “I didn’t want them to see that I was a wasp!”

Marc T.

Impossible Recipes

Danny and Shlomo are older students at the yeshiva and they decided that they were fed up with living in the dorms and the lousy yeshiva food. So they decided to rent an apartment and cook food for themselves.

“Did you get us a cookbook?” Danny asked.

“I did, but I don’t like it,” Shlomo replied.

“Why, are the recipes too hard?” asked Danny.

“Exactly!” Shlomo replied. “Every recipe begins the same way, ‘Take a clean dish and…’”

Susan H.

Shared Suffering

Mr. Stein gives $1 every week to a particular beggar in his town. One week he sees the beggar and gives him only 25 cents. The beggar is indignant and complains,  “Why did you give me only 25 cents?”

Mr. Stein replies: “My business was bad last week.”

The beggar responds: “So you had a bad week and I have to suffer?”

Carol A.

Writer’s Credit

A visitor to Israel attended a concert at the Moscovitz Auditorium and he was quite impressed with the architecture and acoustics.

He inquired of the tour guide, “Is this magnificent auditorium named after Chaim Moscovitz, the famous Talmudic scholar?”

“No,” replied the guide. “It is named after Sam Moscovitz, the writer.”

“Never heard of him. What did he write?”

“A big check,” replied the guide.

Harry E.

Marriage Proposal

A poor man managed to get an appointment with a wealthy Jewish philanthropist by insisting that he had a foolproof way for the man to make 5 million dollars.

“So let me hear your great idea,” said the philanthropist.

“It’s very simple,” replied the pauper. “I understand that when your daughter gets married, you’re planning on giving her a dowry of 10 million dollars.”

“Nu?” said the philanthropist.

“So, I’ve come to tell you that I’m willing marry her for half the amount!”

Alisson F.

Aging Requests

Old Mordy Applebaum goes to his doctor complaining of aches and pains all over his body. After a thorough examination, the doctor gives him a clean bill of health.

“Mordy, you’re in excellent shape for an 80-year-old man. But I’m not a magician – I can’t make you any younger,” says the doctor.

“Who asked you to make me younger”” says Mordy. “You just make sure I get older!”

Joseph K.

Business Talk

Sammy and Isaac haven’t seen each other in a while. One day they happen to meet on the street. They exchange pleasantries when Isaac says to Sammy, “How come you didn’t ask me how business is?”

“I’m sorry,” replies Sammy. “So, how’s business?”

“Oy – don’t ask.”

Eddie M.

First Flight

Aboard an El Al flight from America to Israel, Esther was taking her very first flight to visit her children and grandchildren who has just made aliyah (moved to the Holy Land). They had only been aloft a few minutes when the old lady complained to the stewardess that her ears were popping.

The girl smiled and gave the older woman some chewing gum, assuring her that many people experience the same discomfort.

When they landed in Tel Aviv, Esther thanked the stewardess. “Thank you very much for the chewing gum sweetie,” she said. “But tell me, how do I get it out of my ears?”

Danny N.

Riddles – March 2026

RIDDLE:  Mis-Coinception

Submitted by:  Leon B.

Two U.S. coins add up to 30 cents. If one of them is not a nickel, what are the two coins?

Last Month’s Riddle: Peachy Keen

If there are seven boys, and seven peaches in a basket, how do you give each boy a peach, but keep a peach in the basket?

Solution: Give the last boy his peach in the basket!

Solved by: Solly Gindi, Maggie Matalon, H. Soleimani, Big Mike, Richie Ayal, Daniel Mann, Jacob Ayal, Mayer Cohen, and Ralph S.

JUNIOR RIDDLE:  Time Twist

Submitted by:  Vivian S.

What day follows the day before yesterday if two days from now will be Sunday?

Last Month’s Junior Riddle: Mental Math

In your head, take 1,000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1,000. Now add 30. Add another 1,000. Now add 20. Now add another 1,000. Now add 10. What is the total?

Solution: The total is 4,100. Many people get tripped up at the end of the equation, when adding 10 to 4,090, and come up with 5,000.

Solved by: Maggie Matalon, Richie Ayal, Daniel Mann, The Shmulster, Jacob Ayal, Mayer Cohen, Sara Matut, The Big Cheese, and Haim S.

Waiting for the Throne to Fall

As Iran trembles, Reza Pahlavi Steps Forward as the Self-Declared Bridge

between Revolution and Democracy

Dave Gordon

Once a distant figure in exile, Crown Prince Reza Pahlavi has emerged as a rallying symbol for many Iranians demanding change. His name echoes through the streets during protests, reflecting a growing following inside and outside of Iran.

The son of the late shah fled to the United States after the 1979 Iranian Revolution and has leveraged his royal pedigree and a flurry of media appearances over the past year to raise his political profile.

Pahlavi’s Intended Role

“I think I’ve earned their [my followers’] trust and respect,” he said. “And, that puts me in a position to be impactful in that [leadership] role… I’m not shying away from that responsibility.”

Pahlavi aims to become a transitional leader should the current regime in Iran collapse.

“My role is to see to it that this process culminates in a temporary governance, while the Constitutional Assembly deliberates what exactly will be the rule of law of the land,” he said,  touting both secular and democratic values.  

U.S. Reactions

Washington remains cautious: As of Jan. 8, President Trump appeared reluctant to meet with Pahlavi. In mid-January, White House envoy Steve Witkoff met with Pahlavi – until now, the only high-level American government official to do so, the news website Axios reported. According to polls cited in the article, one-third of Iranians support Pahlavi, while another third do not. 

“Crown Prince Reza Pahlavi has re-entered Iran’s political imagination,” wrote Ali Siadatan, an Iranian Canadian educator, in the National Post. “Today, his support extends beyond traditional royalist circles, reflecting not nostalgia for the past but a search for continuity amid collapse.”

From the outside, the Iranian government’s hold on power appears at its weakest point since the shah was overthrown in the 1979 revolution. With street protests and violent government crackdowns the U.S. is keeping a sharp eye on events. On Jan. 26, the USS Abraham Lincoln carrier strike group arrived in the Indian Ocean, putting it closer to assist in any possible U.S. operations targeting Iran. The USS Gerald Ford is on its way to join the USS Abraham Lincoln.

Iranian Expats Weighs In

Should there be a power vacuum, Pahlavi is “the only alternative,” said Salman Sima, a former Iranian political prisoner who fled Iran to Canada and has organized numerous protests supporting Israel against Hamas. “It is really obvious these days, [that Pahlavi is] the only name you can hear from inside Iran.”

Sima believes the crown prince is a unifying figure who has found support among progressives and conservatives. “He doesn’t take a side, he doesn’t say ‘I’m going to be the shah,’ or ‘I’m going to be the president,’ or ‘I’m going to be the prime minister.’ All he said was a free election must be determined by the people of Iran.”

Iranian expat Dr. Amir Hamidi is the Chairman of the Board of Telo-Revers Anti-Aging Medical Laboratory. He is an internationally recognized expert in global terrorism, cybersecurity, and law enforcement. Regarding Pahlavi he said, “This isn’t a personality contest. In a national liberation moment, the real question is who can unify people, lower the temperature between factions, and keep the transition focused on democracy and the rule of law. He has been consistent on the essentials: a secular state, equal citizenship, rejection of revenge politics, and a future decided only by the Iranian people through free elections.”

The former Justice Department special agent, who also served as country attaché in the United Arab Emirates, added that Pahlavi has recognition across generations and across the political spectrum inside and outside Iran.

Hamidi claims that Pahlavi supports “any figure who places Iran’s sovereignty in the hands of its people, not in the hands of armed factions, foreign powers, or one-party ideologues – and Crown Prince Reza Pahlavi has repeatedly said exactly that.”

Road Map

In July 2025, Pahlavi led a public whitepaper officially called the Emergency Phase Booklet. A whitepaper is an in-depth report to help readers understand a complex topic and present a problem-solving solution. The whitepaper included consultations from a wide array of experts. For starters, Pahlavi calls for Iranians “to be fully involved in the progress of our nation, as opposed to a very corrupt mafia that has been ruling our country all these years.

“I always believe that it’s important for people to have a road map to recovery, to understand what will happen post‑regime. What’s the alternative? How are we to re‑establish a process that will stabilize the country, bring about the opportunity for economic growth and investment?”  

Under Pahlavi’s leadership, Hamidi said, “people will have a true opportunity for prosperity, and for that, we have a very comprehensive project of what is to be done short term, mid‑term and long term.” Hamidi sees great potential when the regime falls: “Imagine just the amount of talent that exists within the Iranian diaspora,” he said. “Iran is not just simply an oil‑rich or gas‑rich country – imagine tourism just as an industry, and everything that can open up.


“I’ve talked to industrialists, economists, entrepreneurs, Iranians, and non‑Iranians that are waiting for this opportunity, once Iran is open again as a last untapped frontier,” Hamidi stated. The concern, of course, is that the country have healthy circumstances in order to be reintegrated in the free world, so investors feel comfortable and secure about their assets.

Pro-Israel, Pro-Holocaust Recognition

Reza Pahlavi, like his father, is aligns with Israel and the Jewish people, framing that stance as both historical and moral. He argues that Iranians reject the Islamic Republic’s genocidal anti-Israel and anti-Semitic policies and says a future democratic Iran should restore friendly ties with Israel and its neighbors, which he has labeled potential “Cyrus Accords.” He frequently invokes the legacy of Cyrus the Great – who allowed Jews to return to Judea after the Babylonian Exile. He cites the biblical connection between Persians and Jews, describing their relations as a “Biblical relationship” stretching back 2,500 years.                                                                                                                                                       He acknowledges shared values of human rights and religious tolerance. Pahlavi has insisted that, because Tehran denies the Holocaust, he has a particular duty as an Iranian leader-in-exile to honor its victims and reject denialism. He portrays the Islamic Republic as a driver of global anti-Semitism and terrorism, and cast himself and his movement as allies of Jews. 

In April 2023, Pahlavi traveled to Israel to carry a message of peace and friendship from the Iranian people, renew ancient bonds, and explore economic and technological cooperation, especially Israeli water technology that he argued could help remedy Iran’s severe water crisis. He attended the Yom HaShoah ceremony at Yad Vashem, declaring it his duty to honor Holocaust victims on behalf of Iranians, and stating that the current regime “doesn’t represent the Iranian people.”

During the trip he prayed at the Western Wall and met senior officials. For many Iranian Jews in Israel, his presence and rhetoric were a symbolic reconnection to an era when Jews felt protected under the Pahlavi monarchy, and as an affirmation that they remained participants of the Iranian story. 

Iran and Nukes

After a recent White House meeting with Netanyahu in February, President Trump insisted that Iran nuclear talks must continue. Trump has not restored the JCPOA, the Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action or the “Iran nuclear deal.” Instead, he has initiated a new round of negotiations under a maximum‑pressure framework.

The Crown Prince responded that nuclear weapons are “not a real estate deal that he [Trump] can cut with a regime that is very corrupt.” Pahlavi bristled at the notion of military intervention, “We don’t need to have an army coming into Iran. We have the boots on the ground already – the Iranian people who are there.” 

The actual war to fight, he insisted, is the ideological war, that has been the root of much of the unrest in the region for fifty years.

The Eye of the Octopus

“Radicals have always tried to recruit people out of desperation and ignorance, to brainwash them into one way of thinking,” Pahlavi said. “One of the key sources of this radicalization is the regime in Tehran. That’s where the eye of the octopus is. [The West has] been fighting the tentacles, but as long as the eye of the octopus is sitting there, you’re not going to eliminate the problem.” It starts with who bankrolls the terror sources:  “Follow the money trail,” he said, “Follow the funding. Once they’re gone, all of that disappears. The funding disappears. The root of the ideology disappears.”  That, he suggests, is how you get past the octopus, and back to the country beneath it: an Iran known less for sponsoring militias abroad than for the diversity and openness of its own society. “The beauty of Iran is the diversity of its culture,” Pahlavi said. “That’s the whole beauty of Iran, a nation state that for centuries had this mosaic of ethnic groups and different faiths living side by side.”  

Keep Moving: The Secret to a Healthier, Happier Life

Ellen Geller Kamaras

“Keep Moving” has become my guidepost for a healthy life, both physically and mentally.  Exercise helps every part of your body including your mind.  Exercise can help you feel good by improving your mood. 

Good for Body and Soul

When I get stuck or start dwelling on things that are out of my control, I go outside for a walk, rain or shine.  I start my mornings with a stroll on the Brooklyn Heights Promenade and gaze at the lovely Manhattan skyline.  I take three deep breaths, and thank Hashem for creating such beauty and for giving me health and a wonderful family.  Some experts refer to this as an “awe walk.” An awe walk is a brief, intentional walk where the walker focuses outwardly on experiencing sensations of wonder, curiosity, and vastness in their surroundings. Consciously looking for beauty, nature, or novelty helps shift attention away from internal worries, reducing stress and boosting mental well-being.

The American Psychological Association has projected that one out of every four 65-year-olds today will live past age 90.  One way to make that happen, with Hashem’s help, is to maintain a healthy lifestyle, including exercise.  Exercise can help prevent falls and injuries, keep your brain sharp and boost your energy levels.

For adults, the American College of Sports Medicine recommends at least 30 minutes of moderate-intensity activity at least five days per week. Adding in some resistance training to your exercise routine two to three days per week will provide extra benefits.  Engaging in 30 minutes of any type of physical activity five days a week may reduce your risk of dying from any cause by 28 percent and from heart disease by 20 percent.

Youngsters Benefit

The importance of daily exercise for promoting healthy physical and mental development applies to young people, too.60 minutes of moderate to vigorous physical activity every day is recommended for children and teens.   Like adults, they should incorporate bone and muscle-strengthening exercises at least three times a week.

Incorporating biking, running, or swimming into your child’s routine enables them to deal with both physical and emotional challenges more successfully.  Daily exercise strengthens their bones and muscles, improves their cardiovascular health, helps them sustain a healthy weight, and enhances immune function.   Physical exercise improves children’s cognitive function, too, by enhancing brain health, memory, and attention, resulting in better academic performance.   Exercise also reduces the risk of type 2 diabetes and heart disease.   Daily exercise elevates young people’s mood, reduces anxiety and depression, and aids in stress management.

When children form the habit of daily exercise at a young age, it sets the foundation for an active lifestyle as they reach adulthood and, in the future, it will help them to age well.

Indoor Exercise

Did the frigid winter get you down and discourage you from exercising?   Spending moderate amounts of time indoors and enjoying downtime has its perks and can help you reset and relax.  However, spending too much time at home has its drawbacks.  Its pitfalls include, but are not limited to, low levels of Vitamin D, sluggishness, weight gain, stress, anxiety, and depression.

To stay healthy, it’s even more important to exercise when you are stuck indoors for its physical rewards and mental health perks.  People who sheltered in place during the pandemic were encouraged to do regular physical activity at home to avoid becoming sedentary.

I was surprised to see how many steps I could score on my Fitbit watch without leaving home.  Plus, I have several dance and exercise apps on my phone to keep me moving.  My husband calls this “puttering,” but I call it straightening up and organizing the house.    Studies show that household chores count as exercise.  The positive effects were found to be the same whether one was walking or exercising at the gym, walking, or doing chores such gardening or vacuuming.  Mel Robbins is a  bestselling author, award-winning podcast host, and an expert on personal growth. She recommends dancing while doing dishes or cooking.

A 2026 study conducted by the AdventHealth Research Institute and the University of Pittsburgh confirms that consistent moderate-to-vigorous aerobic exercise can significantly slow the structural aging of the brain, making it appear nearly a year younger. The study suggests that 150 minutes of weekly aerobic exercise, (such as brisk walking, cycling, or swimming) can reduce a marker known as “brain-predicted age difference” (brain-PAD) in adults 26 to 58.

To Age Well

Take care to do these actions.  Sit on the floor, and get back up on your own. Do yoga, Zumba, or other regular physical activity, jump, and walk briskly. When asked a question, speaking to the point of the topic and do not ramble. 

If you can get outdoors to exercise, your body will net additional rewards.  The natural sunlight helps your body produce more Vitamin D, which is essential to a healthy immune system. If you are sun sensitive, or have had Basal cell carcinoma, make sure to apply sunscreen.  

Dopamine is the “feel good” neurotransmitter that acts as a chemical messenger in your brain to signal reward, motivation, and pleasure. It plays a critical role in movement, memory, and focus It is the brain chemical that is transmitted when we experience pleasure. 

Outdoor exercise can increase dopamine as well as serotonin (a chemical messenger that stabilizes mood, sleep, and digestion. It is often called the “feel good” hormone because it promotes feelings of well-being and safety) and other natural endorphin levels that support a positive mood.

What are we waiting for?  Let’s get moving!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Ellen Geller Kamaras, CPA/MBA, is an International Coach Federation (ICF) Associate Certified Coach.  Her coaching specialties include life, career. and dating coaching.  Ellen can be contacted at ellen.kamaras@gmail.com (www.lifecoachellen.com).

This Month’s Topic: Should Children Know About Family Financial Struggles?

Michele Shrem

This month we are discussing whether families should discuss finances with their children. Should the kids know about financial struggles that are going on in the household? When I was growing up, money was always a hushed subject.  But, these days should our children still be in the dark? Should families be open about their finances? Should children be told about family financial struggles? Let’s see what our community members have to say.

Sarah

When I was growing up we never knew anything about finances or any struggles. Everything was discussed behind closed doors. And, it was the same with other topics such as religion and politics. There was a sealed lid on family finances that was not opened until much later on, maybe when I was a teenager. I did learn how to handle a bank account through my mom. She took me to the bank to open an account when I started to babysit. I was lucky that she showed me how to save from a young age. Now, instead of saving for a special toy, I can save for a nice vacation!

Anonymous

As a Certified Financial Planner, I feel that shielding children from money discussions is a form of educational neglect. You can’t expect a young adult to have a credit card or to sign a lease if they have never even looked at a utility bill. They will have no conception of money and how to use it properly. I think it is a good idea to discuss finances early and often. You can start with the concept of earning, saving, spending, and giving, even at a young age. If a six year old does a household chore, you can give them a quarter to put into a piggy bank. Then, when it starts to add up, you can take them to a store to spend a little of it. You can also have a home tzedakah box to show them how to give, and even bring them to the organization to deliver the box. I also believe that children should know about struggles going on in a household. There is no need to make them feel nervous, but they can become more resilient. If you can’t go on a vacation one year, you can tell them why. You can suggest a weekend trip instead, and let them know that in the future, they will hopefully go on a larger vacation. When children are in the dark, they can imagine worse-case scenarios. If they know, they may even be able to help by assisting in the home, or not asking for high-priced gadgets.

Jojo

I am very cautious about treating children like adults. I In the current world, that is probably a very old-fashioned thing to say. I feel that discussions should be age-appropriate. I would not want my child to feel anxious. A home should be a very safe and supportive place for them. I advise against sharing serious financial struggles like a job loss for instance, unless they are at least in their teens. I don’t think that children younger than that can understand that problems are solvable, and that the problem may not be permanent. Financial instability can feel like a threat to a child’s safety.

Kelly

When I was growing up, money was very tight, and I knew that my parents struggled through the years. Because they kept me in the loop, I do pretty well for myself now, and I credit my parents for teaching me these skills. Now, I passed that down to my kids so they know the costs of things. I want them to be prepared and understand the value of a dollar. To me, total transparency is the way to go. If the water gets shut off, they should know why, because it builds hunger and a drive to never be in that position themselves.

Mrs. E

I don’t think that children should ever know about family financial hardships. I want my children to play and learn, while my husband and I share the burden. I would never even think of it as a topic for the dinner table. If my kids think that I’m scared, that will be the end of their childhood. My husband and I will hold onto the stress. As adults, I feel that we can handle stress better. There is plenty of time for them to stress about things later on in life. 

Diane

As a teacher of middle school students, I find that many of them have not had any discussions about finances at home. Kids actually do need help to understand why they have different things than their peers. There is a middle ground approach. You don’t need to tell them if you are broke, but you can tell them that certain things will take priority for a little while. This way, they can understand some of what is going on and understand the concept of a budget, without feeling inferior to their classmates and friends.

Mike

I like to have family meetings once in a while in order to talk about several things with my kids, including chores, issues they are having inside and outside of my home, and, of course, finances. I want my kids to see where the money goes. I try to be honest with them. For instance, if we overspent on groceries, and they can’t go to the movies.  Then they can see the math for themselves. They mystery of why I said “no” is then understood with logic.

Lisa

I knew growing up that my parents struggled. I could feel the tension in the air. My parents did not talk about it, and my imagination made it ten times worse. I think families should be in a situation together. As a kid left to guessing, I can tell you that it made me anxious and scared. Years later I found out that it was not as bad as I had thought. If I had known, all those years of worrying could have been avoided for me.

Ultimately, the line between helpful and harmful financial transparency is drawn at stability. Money discussions are helpful when they serve as a lesson for future independence. They become harmful when they serve to vent parental stress or become a source of childhood fear. By treating money as a neutral tool rather than a secret shame, families can equip the next generation with something money can’t buy: the wisdom to manage it well.

Michele

Building Dreams Together – How to Survive Your Life After Loss

Jack Gindi

If you’ve been following my work, you know that last year I lost my eldest son, Shaun.

Nothing prepares a parent for that sentence. Nothing prepares you for waking up in a world that looks the same but feels entirely different.

A little more than a year has passed. I’ve learned that time doesn’t heal grief. It teaches you how to carry it. Some days feel steady. Others still knock the wind out of me. What has surprised me most over this past year is how many parents are walking this same road. In the United States alone, an estimated 60,000 to 80,000 families lose a child or young adult every year.

We are living through a quiet and deeply troubling moment in this country. After decades of steady progress, child and youth mortality rates have reversed course. In the last five years, deaths among children and young adults have risen drastically – driven by fentanyl, mental-health crises, gun violence, and despair. One public-health researcher called the shift “a red flashing light.” Behind every number is a family standing in the aftermath, trying to breathe through the unthinkable.

I know that place.

What I want to share here isn’t advice. It’s simply what helped me survive the first year after Shaun passed, moment by moment, breath by breath.

Earlier that day, before I knew Shaun had passed (November 20, 2024), I recorded a short video and posted it online.

“Don’t build a home in hardship. Don’t make mourning your address. Don’t let yesterday steal your tomorrow.”

At the time, I had no idea those words would become a lifeline, first for me, and later for others. After Shaun’s passing, I couldn’t imagine ever standing in front of a camera again. I wasn’t trying to get back to “normal.” That life no longer existed. My work, my health, and my sense of purpose all had to change.

Grief doesn’t just break your heart. It disorients you. It pulls you out of your body, out of your relationships, and out of any sense of direction. In the first months after Shaun’s passing, I gained weight, slept poorly, and felt the edges of myself blur. I wasn’t broken. I was overwhelmed.

What helped me wasn’t trying to fix my grief. It was giving myself something steady to return to.

L.I.F.E

I leaned on the same L.I.F.E. Mapping process I had originally built for families. It helped keep me going when everything felt unstable. I used it to notice when my body was taking the hit of grief and needed care, to stay connected to what I was feeling instead of shutting down, and to make sure I didn’t disappear from my family and friends.

Doing this didn’t make the loss easier. It helped me to keep living while carrying the loss.

Some days, “mapping my life” meant nothing more than getting outside and walking. Other days it meant sitting quietly and letting the tears come. Sometimes it meant reaching out instead of pulling away. And sometimes it meant remembering that even in grief, life still asks for presence, not perfection.

What I’ve learned this year is that grief doesn’t want to be rushed, but it’s not a place to live. Mourning is necessary. Pain needs processing. But if we don’t gently orient ourselves, if we don’t check in with our bodies, our inner world, our relationships, and our sense of meaning, grief can quietly become isolating.

For anyone walking a road of grief now, please hear this. You are not weak for feeling lost. You are human. And you don’t need a grand plan to survive. Sometimes a simple reminder, a daily check-in, or a steady structure is enough to get you through the next hour.

I don’t have your answers. I only have my story. But I believe this deeply. Our greatest heartbreak can also become a doorway to new meaning. Love doesn’t leave us when our loved ones pass on. It changes form. It asks us to carry it differently.

Shaun still walks with me – in my life, my work, my choices, and the families I support. His life ended in shock and pain, but it continues with purpose.

If you’re reading this as a person who has lost someone you love, or fears losing one, know this: You are not alone, and you don’t have to figure life out all at once. Stay connected. Stay honest. Take care of your body. Lean on others. And don’t let grief be the place where you live. Onwards, one breath, one day at a time.